The Memory of All That: Love and Politics in New York, Hollywood, and Paris

by Betsy Blair

The Academy Award-nominated actress and wife of Gene Kelly traces her life from her experiences as a teenage dancer in the 1930s, to a child bride of a Hollywood star, to an accomplished actress in Europe, describing her mentorship and marriage to Kelly, her New York education, her rejection of Hollywood fashions, and her status as a blacklisted actress. 25,000 first printing.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Film, Biography Memoir

352 pages, Hardcover

First published April 15, 2003

Reviews

[Nanette Bulebosh · Rating 4 out of 5]

I learned about this book after reading an end-of-the-year tribute to the under-rated actress Betsy Blair in the NYT Magazine. (She was among those who died in 2009). In this 2003 memoir, she looks back on her fascinating life, including happy marriages to the brilliant actor, dancer and choreographer Gene Kelly and, later, French director Karel Reisz, frequent socializing with Hollywood's brightest stars, and her growing interest in leftist politics. She has many stories to share about Hollywood celebrities and the film culture of the 1940s and 50s, calling L.A. "more than anything, a company town." She was nominated for an Academy Award for her pivotal role in the breakthrough working-class film, "Marty," with Ernest Borgnine. She also writes of being blacklisted. The McCarthy era split Hollywood in two, with rumors and accusations flying everywhere. Later, she moved to Paris, where she worked under directors such as Costa Gavras and Michelangelo Antonioni.

Blair comes across as a thoughtful American who was lucky enough to live in exciting times, to befriend and work with fascinating creative people, and to later recall her experiences with gratitude and insight. I would have liked to meet her.

[Alanna Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was really enjoying the first 2/3rds of this book, but right around when she confessed that she'd been cheating on Gene Kelly, and then headed off to Paris so she could do her own acting, and before long was cheating on her boyfriend there, too (she coolly explains how far she'd come, putting her own needs first, since she didn't even feel guilty about the cheating), I sort of lost interest.

Also, her ideas on communism were ridiculous. I mean-- how can you claim to be a communist when you're one of the wealthy elites? A person who can go and pick out a brand new grand piano (chosen by Leonard Bernstein!) without even having to think about it? If she really believed in any of that, shouldn't she have been redistributing her wealth all around her? (To be fair, she did donate some money to the Hollywood 10. But not much.)

The last third of the novel focused on her career post-Gene Kelly, which mostly consisted of making European films with directors she respected a ton and who I'd never heard of. And then she met and married a guy who she'll always love and presumably never need to cheat on. Yay, I guess?

The best thing I can say about this book was that I came away from it still really loving Gene Kelly, so that's good. I'm glad she didn't ruin him for me.

[Ashley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have to admit to being a fan of old Hollywood memoirs and biographies, but this book is merely okay. I read it because of Betsy Blair's relationship to Gene Kelly (they were married for fifteen years), and Blair self-indulgently uses this as an excuse to discuss her own activities as a relatively minor actress and political activist. And, seriously, who cheats on Gene Kelly?

[Russell Sanders · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I decided to read Betsy Blair’s The Memory of All That: Love and Politics in New York, Hollywood, and Paris, I barely knew who she was. I was aware she had been married to superstar Gene Kelly and was an actress, but other than that, she was a mystery to me. Once I purchased the book, I actually asked myself “why?” But I dove into it and found it fascinating. Betsy Blair was about a decade younger than Kelly, meeting him at age sixteen. He took her under his wing and treated her like she was a younger sister of his. Their relationship, as she aged a bit, turned into love and they eventually married. During this time, she did do a bit of acting, but mostly she was a “good little wife” to a Hollywood star. After almost sixteen years of marriage, she broke out of her shell and divorced Kelly. She then went on to a rewarding career in European films and a long-term marriage to movie director Karel Weiz. This is the story of a woman blossoming. She was a known Communist, but as she describes it, her ideals were equality for workers, racial equality, and women’s rights, not what Communism evolved into under Soviet Russia. Because, as so many of her era were, she was blacklisted, she made only a few significant Hollywood films. But her tales of interaction with the elite of Hollywood and then Europe, especially Paris, are both enlightening and enjoyable. Never is this a biography of Gene Kelly. Kelly, who figured heavily in her life and self-development, is almost a minor character here. She loved him dearly but ultimately realized she was living her life for him, not with him. So, this is a story of one woman and her quest for self-worth. As said earlier, it is utterly fascinating.

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would give this memoir a 3.5. I remember watching Betsy Blair in the movie "Marty" I wanted to read more about her life. Especially her marraige to Gene Kelly. She does write a lot about her years with Gene Kelly and many more memories about her life. She briefly mentions Marty{ wish she had wrote more about that} She also writes how her career was ruined in the states in the 1950s when the McCarthy blacklistings. Her name came up as a supporter of Communism. like many her career in the states was destroyed. She writes about her life up to 1963 when she marries her second husband, Karel Reisz. she does do some "name dropping" of the famous people she has met. A decent read.

[Alethea · Rating 3 out of 5]

”I realized that going to get what you want includes leaving behind not only good elements of that life, but even parts of yourself that flourished there. And you can’t get them back; they don’t fit in your luggage.”

I enjoyed this book more than I thought I would and I'm glad I read it, but if you’re reading it for some insight into Gene Kelly, you might find yourself disappointed. While there are some stories about Gene and the life he and Betsy shared, the book is very much Ms. Blair’s memoirs, recalling her life from her perspective. This holds true for the whole book, including the post-Hollywood years. Blair rarely attempts to explain others' viewpoints or feelings or motivations or develop the people she encounters as full-fledged personalities. I suppose that’s fair, as all she can really know is her own reactions and feelings of her experiences. However, the result is that her writing seems sometimes overly analytical and self-reflective and she seems a little set apart from the stories she relays. It is also laced with her politics (it is in the subtitle, after all), but even those politics seem murky and slightly confusing.

As a memoir, however, it was enjoyable; it was very readable and it shared the details of a life very different than my own. The chronology does get murky halfway through as her writing gets a little more stream-of-conscious, but it kept my interest. And I enjoyed reading about her experience playing Clara in Marty. I relate more to Clara (or her nameless counterpart in the TV version) more than just about any other fictional character in film or television, so it was interesting to discover how very different the actress was from the character she played. I think I’d rather go to coffee with Clara, but I enjoyed getting to know Betsy for 330 pages.


Unnecessary, Overly-Pedantic Sidenote: I find the name of the book curious as it comes from the song "You Can't Take That Away From Me." While the lyrics of that song seem appropriate enough for the theme and tone of the book, that song was performed on film twice by Fred Astaire but never once in any project involving either Betsy or her musical first husband Gene. I get that it's a catchy title, but when you're writing about your former love affair with one of America's most iconic song-and-dance men, it seems odd to use a song associated with America's other iconic song-and-dance man. *shrug*

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have always loved Gene Kelly - although never as much as a former co-worker back when I was in college. This woman referred to herself as "an older woman who sees the world differently" because she was "born in the age of analysis". One day she came in to work, dressed in black shawls, crying hysterically because Gene Kelly had died and she insisted that she had been married to him. It was a complete bunch of hoo hah and the woman must have had rocks in her head. Especially since Gene Kelly WAS NOT DEAD.

What does this have to do with this book? Not a lot I guess other than after reading it, I felt that this woman from work was a lot like Betsy Blair. Very self-absorbed, naive, shallow, smug and unlikeable.

Before reading this, I really didn't know much about Betsy Blair other than the snippets in biographies of Gene Kelly. There was never much mentioned but I just didn't think I'd like her very much. I never felt that way about Kelly's second wife, Jeanne Coyne, so don't start saying that I had designs on a dead studio legend. After reading the book, my initial suspicions were strengthened. As the author has since died, those suspicions will never be confirmed.

The book is disjointed, jumps around from place to place and time to time and doesn't do the author any favors in making her a sympathetic figure. She writes about becoming an adult and growing up but I don't think she ever truly did.

[Greg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nicely written, intriguing story about Hollywood's awkward age of the blacklisty, tv-competing '50's. (And how one actor decided to go to Paris instead.) More personal, fewer anecdotes (probably could have used more, in fact). Not everyone's cup of tea, but if this is your area of interest, why not?

[Rachael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really a 3.5. After reading nearly 350 of her autobiography I don't feel like I have any more insight on Betsy Blair than I did before reading other than everything was glamorous and exquisite all the time. Politics mentioned in the title but they're barely talked about in depth apart from her mentioning that she's a leftist once a chapter.
I didn't dislike the book, I just wish there was more to it.

[Sherry · Rating 2 out of 5]

To be upfront, I didn't finish the last 80 pages. I didn't care enough about what the end of the story is to finish. Although Betsy interacted with amazing stars and others of her time which you would think would make for interesting reading, it doesn't. At least not as told by her. A very disjointed telling of her story that revolves mostly around her politics, which frankly, is the most throw away aspect of the book.

[Chloe Bos · Rating 5 out of 5]

Betsy Blair tells her story in a clear, charming manner that naturally draws the reader in. In the memior I found that Blair wrote only the best characteristics of every person she describes, something that is incredibly admirable and classy. I finished the memoir and want to sit down to tea with Betsy, talk about movies and culture, and laugh about life.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

ok

[JerryDeanHalleck · Rating 2 out of 5]

Betsy Blair was a successful award winning actress (Marty 1955) and the 1st wife of Gene Kelly. After the divorce in the late 50s, she moved to UK/Europe to act. She was also a dedicated Communist who came within an inch of being blacklisted. Fortunately for her career, she was refused membership in CPUSA in mid-40s since the Party bosses thought she would be more useful as a secret member. They felt the same about William Wyler and Lillian Hellman.

As Hollywood memoirs go, its fairly frank and well-written. She's quite honest about her marriage, and her motives for divorcing Kelly. After 15 years of marriage, he had stayed the same, but after winning the AA for Marty, and reaching her mid-30s, Blair was no longer interested in the domineering Kelly, or living in Hollywood. She wanted to "spread her wings" and move to Europe. Her portrait of Kelly jibes with others. Basically a "nice guy", and a devoted husband/father. But also egotistical, driven to succeed, and prone to anger.

She's also quite honest about being a dedicated communist yet concealing it from the press and the authorities. Per Blair, Kelly wasn't a CPUSA member but "agreed with most of what I was doing" and helped hoodwink MGM into believing she was just a "mixed up kid" and not a communist.

My only doubts about the memoirs honesty comes when she describes her mother/father and family background. She says little about any of them. In fact, she devotes more time to her mysterious uncle than in telling us who (or what) her New Jersey parents were. She states they were "Episcopalian" but "not religious". An odd statement. How many Hollywood memoirs talk about their parents vague religious affiliation? Her father was supposedly a Republican - her mother a bleeding heart Democrat. But what were her relations with them? And what was Blair's faith? And how did they feel about her marriage to Kelly or her being a communist?

We get nothing.

[Lori Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book mainly for the bits about Gene Kelly, which which occupied well over half of the book. It was an ex wife's point of view, but I think that time had mellowed the animosity she may or may not have felt for Gene at the time of their divorce. I struggled a bit with how I felt about Betsy. For most of the book, she was out of touch with reality, except that it wasn't quite that. And it wasn't that she was young and then grew up. I still can't place my finger on what I disliked about her so immensely. But by the end of the book, she fared better in my opinion. This was a quick read. It was written in a conversational tone, with some asides and authorial commentary. Organizationally, I did not like how she would jump back and forth in time, especially at the beginning (although, I really like how she opened with meeting Gene). Anyway, four stars, if only because it sheds some light on Gene Kelly by someone who knew him quite intimately for 16 years.

[Graceann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Please see my detailed review at Amazon.com Grace's "Memory of All That" Review

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This book could have earned five stars if it had been more organized. The lady lived through a lot, and I was not able to put the book down once I started it, but I did get frustrated with how she skipped around in the narrative. Still worth the time and effort, however, especially for those interested in stories about women finding their own way, and for those interested in what the Blacklist was like for those caught in the middle of it.

[Gayle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up because of my love for watching Gene Kelly movies. I found it somewhat interesting and mostly sad as I read yet one more biography of a life without Christ. There wasn't as much about Gene Kelly as I anticipated either. But I finished it and now know more about his first wife than I ever wanted to know--along with the life of Blacklisted actors and actresses in Hollywood during the 1950's. Wouldn't really recommend it.

[Celia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a very interesting book about Hollywood in the 40s. It's truly a biography so you don't get a whole picture but it's still interesting. Like most biographies, the author is pretty self centered and there are a couple places I wish she would have expanded on. The end of the book is about her experiences in the European film industry which I admit I skimmed through.

[Althea · Rating 2 out of 5]

As one of the reviewers stated, Ms. Blair comes across as smug. The book is a litany of her accomplishments, her acquisitions and her friendships; all of which she never would have experienced had she not met and married Gene Kelly when she was a very young woman. After the first few chapters which chronicled her meeting and falling for Kelly, it was just plain boring.

[Kellygirl · Rating 3 out of 5]

just grabbed it off the shelf as abe was not cooperating at the library and am surprised by how much i like it. i feel it might start me on a biography binge.

[Joanne Woodhead · Rating 5 out of 5]

A true insight in to Gene Kelly's life given by his first wife. A great read for Gene Kelly fans.

[Patricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Made me fall in love with Gene Kelly

[Nancy Loe · Rating 2 out of 5]

Y'know, I felt sorry for Gene Kelly. Something about Betsy Blair - the smugness, probably - grates.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the memoir of Gene Kelly's first wife, and it is amazing so far.