Kids These Days

by Drew Perry

Walter and Alice are expecting their first baby, but their timing is a bit Walter, once a successful loan officer, has been unexpectedly downsized. They've had to relocate to Florida so that they can live rent-free--in Alice's deceased aunt's condo. When Alice's brother-in-law Mid offers Walter a job, he literally can't refuse. But what he doesn't know--about the nature of the job, about the depth of Mid's shady dealings, about what he's really supposed to be doing--far outweighs what he does know. And soon enough, things escalate so out of control that Walter is riding shotgun with Mid in a bright yellow Camaro--chased by the police.Drew Perry paints a landscape of weird and beautiful Florida and its inhabitants--all wholly original and hilarious, and utterly believable. And at the center is a portrait of a father-to-be who is paralyzed by the idea of taking responsibility for another human life when he can't seem to manage his own. Kids These Days takes perfect aim at the two sides of impending fatherhood--abject terror and unconditional love.

Genres: Fiction, Family, Comedy, Ebooks, Humor

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 14, 2014

About the author

Drew Perry lives in Greensboro, NC, with his wife, a dog, and two cats, and, somehow, two boys. His first book, THIS IS JUST EXACTLY LIKE YOU, was a finalist for the Flaherty-Dunnan First Novel Prize from the Center for Fiction, and was an Atlanta Journal Constitution best-of-the-year pick. A new novel, KIDS THESE DAYS, is due out January 2014. More info here: www.drewperry.net .

Reviews

[Shawn · Rating 1 out of 5]

Have you ever had someone start telling you a story and a few minutes in you realize that it is the dumbest, most pointless story you've ever heard, and the person thinks he is a really funny, gifted storyteller, but he's not, and now you're stuck because etiquette calls for you to at least hear it out...? Well, that's Drew Perry.

I'm trying to think how this book could possibly be worse than it is. And, I can't. It is as bad as it can possibly be. So..., kudos for maxing out on that, I suppose.
I read this author's first book, "This is Just Like You", or whatever it was called, and I declared then that I'd not read more inane, pointless dialogue in all my life. And, while I still think that first novel takes the crown for stupid, repetitive dialogue, this one isn't too far behind.
What's unfortunate is, I still think this guy is not a bad writer. He just cannot sustain an interesting story. He appears to start out with an idea in mind, and then can't bring it together. And, because he can't think of anything meaningful to add to the story, he throws in a lot of unnecessary, pointless, meaningless, asinine dialogue and loopy, far-fetched, unrealistic scenarios that are supposed to pass for "wacky fun", and that may or may not have anything to do with the plot. It's filler. You read it, and you almost feel sorry for him because you know he just plum ran out of stuff to write, but had 280 more pages to go.

Awful. Just. Awful. As promising a talent as I think he may actually be, I won't be trying anything else by this author. I think the two I read were the best he's got in him and, hard as it is to imagine, it will only get worse.

[Danimal · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nothing they put on this book's jacket is true. It is not "sweet" or "soulful" or "funny as hell." It is definitely not true that "readers of Nick Hornby, Dave Eggers, and Jonathan Tropper should enjoy this 'compelling' novel." The author does not do "some amazing things" in this "wonderfully funny novel." It is not "wholly original and hilarious, and utterly believable." It is none of these things!

Should I have run screaming from it when I saw the lead quote was from Dave Barry? Was Carl Hiaasen busy? Because that's who might like it. People who like Hiaasen but wish there was less crime and worse dialogue.

Because this guy seems to have not learned the main thing you learn in writing class: Do not have an action and then have the main character tell the other characters about that action. It's incredibly boring. And it happens again and again. Along with characters constantly asking each other if they are ok.


Are you okay?

I think so. Are you?

Maybe. I'm not sure. Are you?

You just asked me that.

Well, I'm asking you again.

I can't tell. I think so.


Oh my god, shoot me! Such bad dialogue, absolutely no resolution to the plot, which isn't that interesting to begin with. Worst book I've read in ages.

[Shelleyrae at Book'd Out · Rating 2 out of 5]

When Walter is unexpectedly downsized and his wife announces she is pregnant, he and Alice are left with no option other than to relocate to Florida and live rent free in Alice's dead aunt's condo. Generously, Walter's successful brother in law, Mid, offers him a job assisting with the maintenance of his various business interests, but it soon becomes obvious that something isn't quite right about Mid's dealings and added to his general anxieties about impending fatherhood and his family's future, when things begin to spiral out of control Walter has no idea what to do about it.

This book didn't really work for me, I found Walter largely irritating, as his constant angst became wearying. While I understood he was struggling to deal with the upheaval in his life - the loss of his job, the forced move and the impending birth of his first child, for a thirty something year old who had a successful career, he was painfully clueless and I couldn't really identify with him much at all. I did have some empathy for Alice, especially when she had difficulties with the pregnancy, and Mid and Caroyln's rebellious teenage daughter, but most of my sympathy lay with Mid's wife Carolyn, who obviously put up with a lot with regards to her husband's scheming.

The action in the novel stems from Mid's dubious business interests, in which he involves Walter. There is some mystery as Walter tries to make sense of Mid's investments, and his clandestine meetings with a pair of law enforcement agents. The story descends into a bit of a farce as Mid's schemes begins to fall apart, though it is amusing to think of he and Walter fleeing the police in a canary yellow Camaro and Mid flying off in a parachute buggy as Walter stands open mouthed below.

I think I just wasn't the right audience for this story which perhaps better suits hipster readers who have managed to grow older, without actually growing up.

[Tina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this up after hearing the author speak. He was really charismatic and funny. As I started "Kids These Days" I was enjoying the style and quirkiness, but as things went on it started to get a little confused. I felt like the novel was two semi-formed ideas meshed into one book. There's the story of Walter and Alice having their first child, and Walter totally freaking out about it. And then there's the story of Mid and his mysterious, probably criminal business, as well as his family, falling into pieces. For the most part I liked both Walter and Alice, but their arguments about the pregnancy got pretty old about halfway through the book. It started to feel like they really weren't ready to have a kid, like they needed everything to be their perfect fantasy imagination for it to be ok. Then I had some trouble visualizing and understanding Delton, Mid's rebellious teenage daughter. She seemed always to be so even-keel and wise, but then also was going through this classic date-an-older-boy-get-a-tattoo phase and I just couldn't place her anywhere. My last problem was with Mid's business. In improv there's a rule that if you bring something up i.e. a gift, rules, a past event, you need to name it or it runs away in the audience's imagination. The longer you don't name it the more disappointing it is when you do. The plot kept circling around what was going on and we only got cryptic dialogue from Mid. Walter himself was too passive to go find anything out. He preferred to stare out at the beach immobilized much of the time. This started to leave me suspicious if there really was any meat to all the mystery. I stuck with the book and gave it three stars because despite issues with plot it still had a great writing style that kind of carries you along with it and you're sucked in to see what happens at the end. Maybe a good quick beach read.

[Jane · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was such a waste of time. When I finished the last page, I kept looking for more pages, and said out loud, "Well that was a stupid book." No conclusion, no hints at how things turned out, no explanation about what the heck Mid was into, no grand lesson or overall theme, the main character was TOTALLY annoying, and the conversations were bumpy and not written well. I think I stuck with it thinking it would get better and everything would be explained in the end, but the main characters just ended up at some fair that I guess was supposed to be symbolic in some way, but the author was either trying so hard to make a connection, that it wasn't made, or, more likely, he just got tired of his own story or was about to not make his publisher's deadline, and just smashed on an ending that leaves the reader unfulfilled, frustrated, and grumpy. Don't read it, it is NOT worth your time!!

[Marcus · Rating 1 out of 5]

Part screenplay, part random stream-of-thought, I couldn't wait to get this rhythm-lacking book done soon enough. While it provided a fresh perspective, none of the characters were worthy of any empathy. Case in point: perhaps the most "normal" character is the underage-drinking, pot-smoking college guy who is implicitly committing statutory rape in that his girlfriend is a high school freshman. Overall, just a depressing look into the lives of people who are imprisoned, though together, by their deficiencies and flaws.

[The Loopy Librarian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny and engaging from page one. Honest and self-deprecating voice of narration with an amusing view of himself, his life, and the world. I could've done without the foul language. There were, however, surprisingly sweet moments where it was impossible not to feel empathy for the characters and to share in their fear and expectancy as they prepared for their first child. There was also crazy drama with riotous humor well-balanced by sensitivity, vulnerability and depth. I recommend this for fans of humorous fiction or for those who are trying to raise children in these crazy times.

Quotes:

"She was skinny in a way that made me want to feed her a burger" (p. 14).

"She opened the doors again, let another amount of air in. We stood there like that, not knowing while the whole of the outside pressed in against us" (p. 158).

"But there was not much left that felt at all solvable anymore. I was as lost, I knew, in that condo, in my whole life as I would be in the Intracoastal if I fell out of the boat and had to swim back home" (p. 178).

"If we were not in paradise, there was at least a billboard every five miles that would tell us how many exits were left before we got there" (p. 297).

In accordance with FTC guidelines, please note that I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review through LibraryThing Early Reviewers.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a fun book to read but not much else.There was very little character development. The entire book is basically all the characters asking one another what is going on and the other character says they do not know what is going on. It is very similar to Jonathan Tropper books and The Financial Lives of Poets by Jess Walter except it is less focused.
If the author wrote a sequel or another book, I would probably read it.

[Kathy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn't even finish this book, and that's saying a lot! Maybe this book seems well written to some people, but I felt like I was stuck in the brain of a hyped up 9 year old...constantly changing story lines, not much character development at all -- just blah! I tried to stay with it but I feel so much relief that I've allowed myself to just put the book down and not return!

[Robinne]

Astonishingly bad. Zero stars.

[Lois Baron · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyable writing. We spend a lot of time with Walter, who is uncertain he really wants to be a father now that his wife is pregnant. Walter is also deeply confused about his job with his brother-in-law, which consists of driving around to the brother-in-law's dubious enterprises.

Very little is conclusive, but its insights are amusing nonetheless. I finished mostly because the book isn't that long and I wanted to see how the author wrapped it up. Happily, not with a bow, but not entirely satisfactorily. But isn't that life?

[Mary Lou · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think I am too old to get this book. I got tired of all the wavering about having a child, when the wife was pregnant. Every character seemed to just sit back and let happen to them rather than take charge of their lives. Mid, the one character that seems to try to take charge, screws up all the time. I just wanted to reach into the book and slap the characters and say, "Grow up!" So it definitely was not to me. Maybe all the angst works for a younger reader.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did find this funny - not haha funny, more that the way the characters, especially Walter & Mid, relate to each other is absurd & yet rings true to me. The notions of family loyalty, children who are wise beyond their years, and how many people are fumbling through life, doing the best they know how, all are woven throughout. The end was a bit of a letdown, in that I didn’t quite feel like the loose ends/questions were wrapped up.

[Evelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I seem to be one of the only who enjoyed this? But I went in with no expectations. It's feels like a delayed coming of age story as Walter and Alice process a job loss and pregnancy while Mid and Carolyn juggle their marriage, questionable life decisions, and kids. It's definitely a bit shallow and repetitive but I thought maybe it worked with the characters level of stress and anxiety.

[Andrey · Rating 1 out of 5]

full disclosure - i am a millenial (allbeit an older one) and I didn't finish this book. so the author tries to be confrontational and make a point. he makes it. he is largely wrong but... who cares, right? the message sells.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

(no. 52 of 2017)

[Brian Tucker · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dialogue and repetition tripped me up. I really wanted to like this one. (Due to be a dad in 2 months.) The plot seemed fitting for my life stage, but the conflict didn't deliver. 2/5.

[Kara · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think this was an attempt to be madcap and zany, but it just came out flat.

[Bobby Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A humorous read. Atmospheric, episodic and engaging. I will read more by Mr Perry.

[Vaishnavi Hardas · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disappointing read. Too lengthy a story with unnecessary details. Neither captivating nor funny. I had to put it aside when I was half way through because it felt pointless to go any further.

[Beth · Rating 1 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this book but it was more confusing than anything and the ending stunk... There just wasn't much to it. Disappointed.

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Inconsistent with his other writing. Dialogue poorly written. So much potential, but not worth reading.

[Sally Boyd]

Pointless. A waste of time. The ending wasn't really an ending

[Esther · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just not my cup of tea.

[Darcy Godwin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed this, thought it was witty...but not a complete story almost. Didn’t feel invested in anyone’s story, but thought it was still a nice read. Wouldn’t recommend but still glad I read it

[John Luiz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Drew Perry’s “This Is Just Exactly Like You” is one of my favorite novels, so I was particularly looking forward to this one. Here he delivers another very entertaining novel about a man’s struggles with his family relationships. Walter Ingram has just lost his job in a bank’s mortgage department and he is forced to move to Florida with his pregnant wife to live in an apartment his wife’s late aunt left them. He was also drawn there by his wife’s sister and her husband, Mid, who has promised to give Walt a job. From the outset, it’s not clear what Walter is supposed to do. Mid is the money man behind a number of small businesses, and other than ride around in a car with Mid to visit them, it’s not clear that Walter will have anything specific to do. But then we gradually learn Mid’s business are a tad shady – one of them is a front for a marijuana-selling operation. Lots of comic hi-jinx ensue as Mid’s operation unravels and threatens to take Walter down with him. On top of all that, Walter is not sure if he’s ready to become a father so there is a lot of mild tension with his wife about his lack of complete enthusiasm for the soon-to-arrive baby. Perry has such an easy-going writing style and such well-developed characters, and he manages to take the details of everyday and ratchet them up just a notch so that they’re fun and entertaining. The premise of his first novel – a wife leaving her husband and moving in with his boyfriend, leaving him to raise their autistic son – was totally absorbing. I didn’t think half of the premise here – a soon-to-be father’s misgivings about parenthood – could be sustained across a whole novel, but Perry manages to do it. I enjoyed spending time with these characters so much that I felt like if updates of their lives were delivered in serial form, I would keep on reading. Perry’s a really gifted writer, and I’m looking to all of his future books. Fans of Jonathan Tropper, Nick Hornby and Tom Perrotta will find Perry belongs right in their ranks.

[Radhika · Rating 4 out of 5]

I do not know why I had requested this book , that was my reaction when I got the notice from the library that it was ready for me. Coincidentally the same day while driving home for lunch I heard the author of this book being interviewed and he really was so eloquent about how this book came about that I decided to give it a try and I was glad that I did!

Walter and Alice decide to have a kid! Alice is pregnant and happy but Walter though happy for his wife whom he loves has a lot of reservations and he is so apprehensive that he cannot enjoy this phase of his life. He is petrified of being responsible for another human being which will be totally dependent on him.

He loses his job and they move to Florida where they live in Alice's aunt condo as they do not have to pay rent and also Alice's sister Carolyn and her family live there. Walter watches Carolyn and her husband Mid traipse the path of parenthood and watches the anguishes, the commitment needed to get the kids going and it makes him more wary.

But as he watches the children everyday he realises that there is no perfect way to parent, no guarantees but only the satisfaction of doing the best and loving the little being that is coming into this world .... To love we have to overcome fear! Loving is hurting,feeling,joy heartbreak ..

Well written story of contemporary America!

[Harry Brake · Rating 3 out of 5]

Monotone, unclear what is happening and random. At first, these characteristics throw you off when you begin Drew Perry's novel, and yet, as you get used to the characters, everything settles in. Not your typical novel, that is truly what sets this nice apart. By the end of the novel, you figure what seemed tone a vert flat character has found his place and has developed with the events that are occurring around him. I have to admit, I was completely frustrated with a very irresponsible Dad and character found in Mid rather than amused and by the end, glad to see Walter having taken on more responsibility than Mid coming into being a new father. Yet, throughout the novel, I felt Walter was emotionless, (on purpose I am sure), as well as harassed when he truly was trying to deal with the new life situations around him, and yes, as well as playing babysitter.

Overall, I appreciated the toned down themes and plot, yet at times, it drove me crazy. Maybe that is why I kept going due to the unusual nature of the plot, yet, there is something that is said and understood about the whole ordeal of becoming a father, life changing with teenagers in the picture, and the interpretation of life around you with a little chaos. Perry is able to take us to a wide range of emotions, conflicts and adventures and truly hits low and high points throughout.

[Holly Booms Walsh · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a charmingly odd little novel. Walter, our protagonist, loses his job and his wife, Alice, is about to have a baby, which is freaking him out. They move to Florida to take a house and a job from his brother-in-law, who turns out to be having a mid-life crisis himself amid the Florida t-shirt shops, alligators, and housing developments. He's got a finger in all kinds of business ventures, each shadier than the next. Walter watches the barely controlled but loving chaos of his in-laws' three kids and worries about becoming a dad and how to be a good husband to Alice when everything seems out of his control.

This book is written in a meandering, laid-back, beach town kind of way, which fits the sort of clueless overwhelmed "dude" way that Walter thinks. He means well, and tries to glean what wisdom he can out of the experience to try to use in bring a dad. His interactions with the teenage daughter is particularly touching and funny. There's a lot of humor in this book despite its subjects being fairly deep about family and marriage and responsibility. The zany characters, Florida setting, and semi-improbable plot developments all reminded me of a Carl Hiaasen book. It's sort of chick-lit, but as told by a guy in a Hawaiian shirt.

[Astrid Delgado · Rating 3 out of 5]

So I finally finished this book. I got a copy from Library Things in exchange for an honest review.

The reason it took me a while to read it is because it does move a little slow. It is also all over the place. There are story lines and details that are there to make it unique, but seem unnecessary to the book. It basically tried to put many different story lines into one.

I feel it should have stuck to the story of Mid and the law and to Walter coping with having a child. I feel including Hank the parachutist and some of the other details should have been left out. Also while I liked Delton's story line and she was often the voice of reason, some parts of her storyline like moving in with Walt and Alice and the pirate incident could have been left out. Also the ending was disappointing.

Other than that, the book is a nice relaxing read. I love that you can see Walt's personal journey of coping with becoming a father when he hadn't pictured being one. Like I said I liked Delton balancing things out as well as Alice. The second part was definitely more exciting and I felt it should have come sooner. It was a nice break from the darker books I've read lately (Gone Girl and Reconstructing Amelia)!