Body Language: How To Read Others' Thoughts By Their Gestures

by Allan Pease

A copy that has been read, but is in excellent condition. Pages are intact and not marred by notes or highlighting. The spine remains undamaged.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Communication, Personal Development, Science, Business

257 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2006

About the author

Allan Pease is an Australian author and motivational speaker. Despite having no education in psychology, neuroscience, or psychiatry, he has managed to establish himself as an "expert on relationships".

Originally a musician, he became a successful life insurance salesman, he started a career as a speaker and trainer in sales and latterly in body language. This resulted in a popular sideline of audio tapes, many of which feature his irreverent wit.

His best-selling book Body Language brought him international recognition. It has been followed by several others. He is quite well known in Australia and during the 1980s he was an occasional TV analyst for political debates where he would analyze the body language and overall performance of the contestants.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allan_Pease

Reviews

[Tharindu Dissanayake · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The acquisition of knowledge and skills in non-verbal communication serves to make every encounter with another person an exciting experience."

Decrypting body language has been a fascinating subject for me. There are a number of different 'theories' for interpreting our common gestures. Allan Pease's Body Language is book is a brief, well-organized and easy to understand guide book which contains the basics of non-verbal communication. With everything being explained from a practical standpoint, readers of any understanding of the subject could read the book quite easily.

"Albert Mehrabian found that the total impact of a message is about 7 per cent verbal (words only) and 38 per cent vocal (including tone of voice, inflection and other sounds) and 55 per cent non-verbal."
"It is good to learn and to use positive open gestures to communicate with others and to eliminate gestures that may give negative signals."

Pease has divided to the book in to a series of chapters, some based on the part of the body (palms, hands, arms, legs, face, eyes etc.) and others based on the characteristics of the immediate surroundings. His views on each particular gesture and how to interpret them using 'gesture-clusters' while considering in which context they occur, were very clearly explained. Though I have read a couple of recently written books on the subject, I was surprised to see a lot of new opinions here, especially considering this had been written almost 40 years ago.

"Many people claim that they habitually take the arms folded position because it is comfortable. Any gesture will feel comfortable when you have the corresponding attitude; that is, if you have a negative, defensive or nervous attitude, the folded arms position will feel good."

The author does not hold back when it comes to profiling gestures in anyway he sees fit to drive the point home. Some of the opinions will appear somewhat shallow or sexist - especially the 'courtship gestures' - and probably will offend a lot of people. Still, I think it's important to have them explained. Author's aim is not to make you a connoisseur of such gestures but to help one identify individuals who might use such gestures to control situations. When it comes to subjective content such as this, it's always up to the reader to select what is appropriate or acceptable.

"When it comes to courtship rituals, most men are about as effective as someone standing in a river trying to catch fish by hitting them on the head with a big stick."
"In given light conditions, the pupils will dilate or contract as the person’s attitude and mood change from positive to negative and vice versa."

Overall, I enjoyed the book. Book felt like a a dictionary of gestures, which you could easily refer whenever you want to interpret a set of gestures or to improve your own non-verbal communication techniques to enhance your communication skills.

"People form 90 per cent of their opinion about you in the first ninety seconds of meeting you, and you never get a second chance to make a first impression!"

[Chia · Rating 2 out of 5]

به طرز فجیعی ناقص و ساده‌لوحانه‌‌س این کتاب و متاسفانه در ایران خیلی مشهور. اگه بخواین بر اساس این کتاب زبان بدن کسی رو رمزگشایی کنین خودتون رو مسخره کردین. اصلاً وقت تون رو باهاش تلف نکنین. با پیشرفت علم تو زمینه‌ی ارتباط مغز و بدن این کتاب دیگه تاریخ‌مصرفش تموم شده. بهترین کتاب در این زمینه از "جو ناوارو"، متخصص ارتباطات غیرکلامی هست که سالها مامور اف‌بی‌آی و متخصص در این زمینه بوده. اسم کتابشم اینه :

What Every BODY is Saying
by Joe Navarro

ترجمه نشده.

اگر که کتاب خوب و کامل و جدیدی تو این زمینه خوندین لطفاً معرفی کنین.

[Rasha Alafkhry · Rating 4 out of 5]

قرأت مجموعة من الكتب حول موضوع لغة الجسد ...
ولكن هذا الكتاب كان مميزا ...
أذكر أني قرأته خلال فترة طويلة نسبيا نظرا لأني كنت في اليوم التالي لقراءة كل قسم منه وحين أكون في أماكن مزدحمة بالناس (وكانت الجامعة مكانا مناسبا جدا في حينها) أراقب تحركات الأفراد وأقارنها بما قرأته في الكتاب ... فعلا من الممتع قرائته وملاحظة المجتمع من حولك في أثناء ذلك...

[Arman V · Rating 4 out of 5]

بیشتر علائم زبان بدن رو به صورت ناآگاه انجام‌ میدیم و راجبشون آگاهی نداريم
برای من که دانشجوی روانشناسی هستم و راجب زبان بدن مطالب زیادی توی اینترنت خوندم این کتاب تکراری بود
ولی در کل ارزش 4 ستاره رو داره
این کتاب کم حجم برای بازاریاب های تازه کار و دانشجو های روانشناسی و مشاوره پیشنهاد میشه

[Amir Tesla · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice, brief introduction to body language.

[Mitch C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Informative, precise, sensible and entertaining.

This in-depth analysis of human body language is really handy. From head to feet, may it be the person is sitting or standing, and whether the person being analyzed is the sender or receiver, it’s all in black and white. Even the illustrations are noteworthy. Thus, this book is perfect for both professional and personal purposes – from buyer and seller situational analysis to courtship.

Side Note:
Did you know? Even the positioning of the feet, where it is pointed to, is considered a body language.

Awesome.

[Adelina · Rating 1 out of 5]

Currently reading this for my Anthropology class, and I don't think it's too early to rate it. Actually, I think it is because I might give it just one star in the end. This book hasn't aged very well, and I can't stop laughing at the author's assumption (based on the body language, of course) that every woman in the world wants to f*** him. Just no!

Edit: Yep, definitely one star! Endless list of sexist attitudes:

"A woman can give a man a ‘look to kill’; she will convey a very clear message to him without opening her mouth." (Thank God she didn't open her mouth this time! But she will open her mouth for sth else later.)

"When a man passes a woman in a crowded street, he usually turns his body towards her as he passes; she usually turns her body away from him. Does she instinctively do this to protect her breasts? Is this an inborn female reaction or has she learned to do this by unconsciously watching other females?" (How about minding your own business and leaving those poor women alone, you old creep?!)

"In a home a woman’s private territory may be her kitchen and laundry and she objects to anyone invading that space when she is using it." (I've no words.)

"The husband who leans across to his friend, points toward his wife with a closed fist thumb gesture and says, ‘Women are all the same, you know’, is inviting an argument with his wife. (Amazing.)

"When wearing dresses or the like, the sexually aggressive female displays one thumb tucked into a belt or pocket." (At this point, I had to put the book down because I couldn't stop laughing. So baaaaad!)

"If a woman loves a man, she will dilate her pupils at him and he will decode this signal correctly, without knowing he does so." (Goddammit, and all this time I was doing it wrong.)

"The most aggressive sexual display he can make towards the female is the aggressive thumbs-in-belt gesture that highlights his genital region. He may also turn his body towards her and point his foot at her. He uses the intimate gaze and holds her gaze for a split second longer than normal. If he is really keen his pupils will be dilated." (How the hell is this a male courtship gesture in the author's mind? If I saw a guy doing this, I'd run for my life.)

"When a woman becomes sexually aroused her lips, breasts and genitals become larger and redder as they fill with blood. The use of lipstick is a technique thousands of years old that is intended to mimic the reddened genitals of the sexually aroused female." (I'm done! This book ruined wearing lipstick for me.)

[Ali Alghanim · Rating 3 out of 5]

إن واحدا من أفدح الأخطاء التي قد يرتكبها مبتدئ في لغة الجسد هو أن يترجم إيماءة متوحدة بكيفية منعزلة عن إيماءات أو ظروف أخرى .مثلا ،إن حك الرأس قد يعني امورا كثيرة_ القشرة أو البراغيث ،أو التعرق،او عدم التأكد ،او النسيان ،او الكذب ،و ذلك متوقف على سائر الايماءات التي تحدث في الوقت نفسه،لذا علينا دوما أن ننظر إلى مجموعة الايماءات لقراءة صحيحة.

مثل سائر اللغات،تتضمن لغة الجسد كلمات و جملا و تنقيطا. إن كل إيماءة مثل كلمة مفردة،و قد يكون لكل كلمة معان عدة مختلفة. و فقط عندما تضع الكلمة في جملة مع كلمات اخرى تستطيع ان تفهم كليا معناها. إن الايماءات تأتي في جمل و تقول الحقيقة بكيفية ثابتة حول مشاعر شخص ما أو موافقة. و الشخص المدرك هو شخص يستطيع قراءة الجمل غير الشفهية،و يلائمها بصورة دقيقة مع جمل الشخص الشفهية.

[spring ~♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

will come back and rate it 5 stars if i get good grades in my communications exam.
*crossing arms, legs, ankels and everything else to show my hostility and defensiveness* 🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️

edit: got the highest score in class. 😭 EVERYONE READ THIS BOOK NOW

[عبدالله العمادي · Rating 5 out of 5]

الكثير من الكتب تتحدث عن لغة الجسد وتأتي كلام لا يُعرف شرقه من غربه. وهذا واقع لأن هذا العلم لم يُعرف إلا في العقود القليلة الماضية.

هذا الكتاب أعدّه رائعًا بتبويباته وحديثه المختصر عن لغة الجسد وبالأخص الإيماءات الجسدية العامة بدون التركيز على لغة الوجه مثلًا، بل بمجموع إيماءات الجسد في مواقف عديدة.

يُساعد الكتاب الإداريين والمُسوّقين وكل من يتعامل مع شخصيات مختلفة ويخضع في مقابلات إقناعية ونقاشية. الجميل في الكتاب أيضًا أنه يُرفق رسومًا توضيحية بالإيماءات ويقيّمها بحسب تجارب علمية تجريبية ولا شك أن الإدراك الأولي سيعطي انبطباعًا صادقًا عن حقيقة الإيماءة.

أنصح بقراءته جدًا.

[Weam Obaid · Rating 4 out of 5]

قرأت هذا الكتاب لأول مرة قبل ست سنوات تقريبا، وقرأته مرارا بعد ذلك، والآن أعيد قراءته وأراه لا زال محافظا على سحره، على الرغم من أن المعلومات التي فيه صارت بديهيات بالنسبة لي بعد مرور هذا الزمن ...

قرأت كثيرا عن لغة ال��سم، وأجد هذا الكتاب أفضل ما قرأته عن هذا الموضوع

[Lavinia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Haha, I'm really looking forward to the next staff meeting :)

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Вече леко остаряла информация, има базови неща, които могат да се прочетат и в "Космополитън". Хареса ми частта за личното пространство, може да се каже, че ми даде отговори на въпроси, за които винаги съм се чудила, но не съм се замисляла. Блесва на моменти с любимото ми "личното пространство на жената най-вероятно е кухнята.", но като цяло е интересно и може би полезно четиво.

[Panata Harianja · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ketika orang-orang bijak bestari jaman dulu menemukan kaitan berupa 'segitiga suci' antara mind, body and soul, mereka bukan asal njeplak dan ngomong ngayal. Keberadaan manusia memang sebuah formulasi chemistry. Manusia yang sempurna dan berkilauan segitiga sucinya bahkan bisa menjadi Alchemist seperti tersurat dalam karya Paulo Coelho.

Sikap mental dan pikiran kita pasti tercermin dalam tingkah laku dan gerak-gerik kita. Sederhana saja; kalau kecewa kita merunduk. Kalau optimis kita akan tegak, tegap dengan dada membusung. Beberapa gerak ternyaya bisa berulang dan membentuk pola. Disadari atau tidak disadari.

Nah di buku ini kita bisa belajar bagaimana tubuh manusia bergerak mencerminkan pikirannya. Dengan tahu ilmu unik ini kita akan lebih awas saat berinteraksi dengan orang lain. "O dia nggak suka. Biarpun ngomongnya dia bilang suka". "Wah, dia ternyata agak-agak naksir". "Yes, dia percaya banget omongan gw". Dan lain-lain kesimpulan bisa kita dapatkan dalam berbagai interaksi setelah belajar lagi tentang ilmu bahasa tubuh di buku ini.

[Beau Johnston · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many years ago, one of my martial arts instructors made his students read this book. At the end of the lesson he would set a chapter to read before we came back for next week's lesson. Reading that chapter was not optional, because he would ask each student something about the homework chapter. We thought his fascination with the book was a little strange to begin with, but we quickly learned otherwise.

We didn't know it at the time, but our instructor was teaching us about situational awareness. Reading body language is a big part of situational awareness, and most instructors don't have time (or the knowledge) to go into the fine details of the subject.

This is a great book that everyone should read at least once in their lives, it's easier to avoid trouble if you can read the moods of the people around you.

[Sandra Soetanto · Rating 4 out of 5]

A survey once notified that body language conveys 55% of what you’re communicating. I was never having any attempt to learn about it before I learned about how important personal branding is. To support our personal branding, we have also learned about body language, since our body (realized it or not) also sends a message, and we do want to send the right message to the people around. The book talked about positive and negative gestures (from hand, face, legs, etc.) – I personally like ‘Three Wise Monkeys’ chapter - and also complemented by drawings, so the reader can visually see the descriptions of a gesture. This book is recommended for those who’d like to refine their communication skill, especially non-verbal communication.

[Semiophrenic · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is the most awful book on body language that has ever been written. It is so widely received and taken at face value even today, that it is difficult to underestimate the damage these 150 pages have done to the notion of body language and popular understanding of nonverbal communication. Every other person has read this book or otherwise become acquainted with it's inane myth-filled contents and whatever use it may have had to the businessmen of the mid-1980 has clearly been overshaded by the misconceptions and misunderstandings this book has propagated all over the world. You CANNOT read others' thoughts by their gestures.

[Marta :} · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was quite a long read! It was interesting, really, but some parts were quite boring because the book is not only talking about body language between normal people, but more about sellers and buyers. And this is a domain which I'm not very interested in. But even after saying this, I quite liked the book, it had interesting facts and it made me really curious to watch more for body language. Useful book!

[Mihai Chindris · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book comes with precise explanations. It is an easy-read, meaning that every one of us can understand what the author tries to communicate with us. Also... it is handy! Whenever you feel like you want to revise the concepts you have learned, you have the choice to dive right into your desired chapter and review the things mentioned there. I enjoyed it! So simple and straight-forward!

[Anna Marija Reidzāne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Iespējams, ka labāka grāmata par ievadu ķermeņa valodā. Kaut arī lasīju studiju vajadzībām, ne mirkli nebija garlaicīgi, vietām iekļauts foršs humoriņš, visi varianti papildināti ar piemēriem no dzīves un ilustrācijām.

[Tawfeek · Rating 4 out of 5]

كتاب جيد جدًا في مجاله

[M.S. Amir · Rating 4 out of 5]

این کتاب رو بخونید و در رفتار های آدمای اطرافتون رو تفسیر کنید. بعد از خوندن این کتاب متوجه میشید که چقدر گفتار آدم ها با اون چیزی که تو فکرشونه در تضاده!

[ᴍᴀʀɪᴀ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Много интересно и полезно четиво.

[Ready · Rating 3 out of 5]

Allan Pease dalam buku ini secara sistematis menguraikan posisi-posisi, gerakan-gerakan, dan isyarat-isyarat tubuh beserta pengertian yang dapat ditangkap dari isyarat tersebut. Gerak isyarat tangan, lengan, wajah, mata dipelajari dalam bab-bab khusus. Gerakan yang didukung oleh perlengkapan lain seperti cerutu, sigaret atau gelas, bahkan pengaturan meja, kursi dalam suatu ruangan memberikan pengertian-pengertian tertentu pula.
Pembicaraan dalam buku ini, walaupun cukup memenuhi syarat-syarat universalitas, harus dipertimbangkan dalam pengertian spesifik. Karena penelitian yang dilakukan Allan Pease pun sifatnya juga spesifik, yaitu mencakup orang dewasa, masyarakat kelas menengah (kulit putih) di Australia, Selandia Baru, Amerika Utara dan beberapa tempat yang memakai bahasa Inggris sebagai bahasa utama (h. 7). Selain itu gerakan isyarat tersebut memperhitungkan pula konteks, serta gugus isyarat—seperti halnya kata-kata, gerakan isyarat harus dipahami dalam keseluruhan rangkaian.
Secara praktis; buku ini berguna bagi tenaga penjualan, manajer penjualan, atau orang-orang yang berminat pada bidang ini. Selain itu bagi mereka yang mempeajari psiklogi atau Ilmu Komunikasi, buku ini akan menjadi bahan referensi yang cukup berharga. Dengan gambar-gambar yang hampir ada di setiap halaman, buku ini makin menarik untuk dibaca. ~ “Mengenal Bahasa Isyarat”, Harian Jayakarta, 11 April 1989.

[Izlinda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I know there are updated editions of this book, but I read an earlier one. Perhaps this isn't the right edition. Oh well.

From my foggy memories, this book was illuminating to me. I was eleven years old at that time and didn't realize there was so much information divulged in the way people's bodies move, or their faces. They also had diagrams/illustrations which I found useful, as well as pivotal in a book about body language.

As a pre-pubescent girl, I was more interested in chapters such as illustrating liking someone or how to know if someone liked you by body language then about the power motions. I remember several of them and sometimes catch myself either doing them or watching others. It's quite amusing!

I was a little appreciative that the Peases included other cultures/countries in their book, because what is prominent in the American culture does not necessarily mean the same in other nations, even other Western nations.

Of course, what we learn in this book may not be applicable to those who don't have social skills we might deem "normal" in our society...

[Mihai Cotea · Rating 4 out of 5]

La finele anilor ’90, se traducea în limba română volumul faimos al autorului Allan Pease, care ne promite „cum pot fi citite gândurile altora din gesturile lor”.

Contrar formulării ușor bombastice din subtitlu (afișat inclusiv pe coperta cărții), autorul ne spune, încă din introducere, că „această carte nu poate fi considerată ca reprezentând ultimul cuvânt în problema limbajului trupului și nici nu conține acele formule magice pe care le promit unele lucrări”. Allan Pease studiază comparativ problema limbajului uman, din perspectivă sociologică, antropologică, zoologică, pedagogică etc., analizând fiecare element constitutiv al limbajului trupului și gesticulației.

Tentat fiind să-l compar pe Pease cu Peter Collet și lucrarea sa „Cartea gesturilor europene”, găsesc cartea autorului de origine australiană o analiză globală, ușor generalizată, a unei întregi suite de gesturi, poziții corporale și semnale pe care ființele umane le abordează cel mai des.

recenzia completă:
https://coltulcultural.wordpress.com/...

[G.S. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd recommend this book to anyone who deals with people. Which is really almost anyone. I'd also especially recommend it to writers and aspiring writers. I picked it up because I was tired of the narrow range of nonverbals I was using in expressing emotions in my writing. The book is organized the wrong way for writers. A writer would prefer that it be organized by feeling or emotion. (My character is angry. What body language might he be evincing?) Instead, the book is organized by parts of the body. (The arms are in this position, or that position, or the other position. What might that mean?) Still, it's fascinating, and it broadens the horizons. As for the main target audience of the book--people engaging in sales, or any kind of people-facing consulting--it's right on the mark. It's also an engaging and fun read. I borrowed this book from the library, but I think I'm going to buy it.

[Pratyush Agarwal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once I read somewhere - 55% of what we communicate occurs through the body language, 38% through voice intonations and only 7% through the words that we speak. So, I was curious to know more about it whether it is correct or not. Then somehow I got this book recommended on the internet.
The author explains the importance of body language, their origins and their types with variations in different cultural and geographical regions all over the world. Very informative, precise and most of all entertaining to read. One would certainly wonder in awe as to how much we communicate only through non-verbal languages using our expressions, gestures, positions and movements of each and every part of the body. A magnificent book for body language and non-verbal communication explained with examples and beautifully illustrated with the help of pictures to amuse you and make you learn at the same time.

[Ant · Rating 1 out of 5]

Στην καλύτερη περίπτωση θα μπορούσα να το χαρακτηρίσω Freud for dummies, αλλά αυτό θα ήταν προσβλητικό για τον Φρόυντ.
Η ιδέα ότι η γλώσσα του σώματος μπορεί να αποκωδικοποιηθει σημειωτικα, ανάγεται πολύ πριν αυτό το βιβλίο(και έχει αναπτυχθεί καλή ώρα και από τον Φρόυντ) αλλά η συγκεκριμένη ερμηνεια/"οδηγός" για τη γλώσσα του σώματος δεν είναι τίποτα παραπάνω απο τετριμμένες ψευδοεπιστημονικες ανοησίες, που βασίζονται σε παμπάλαιες "έρευνες" τύπου πάνελ Μενεγακης. Περιέχει εδώ και εκεί κάποια ενδιαφέρουσα πληροφορία, αλλά στο σύνολο του είναι ανούσιο, κουραστικό, παρωχημένο, γεμάτο γενικεύσεις και προκαταλήψεις για την συμπεριφορά διαφόρων λαών και ξεχειλισμενο από εμφυλα στερεότυπα για τη συμπεριφορά των φύλων. Παράλληλα, δεν λείπουν και οι λανθασμένες ιστορικές αναφορες. Σίγουρα δεν το προτείνω.

[José Contreras · Rating 3 out of 5]

"En la misma forma, el conocimiento de las formas no verbales de comunicación sirve para convertir al encuentro con otra persona en una experiencia interesante".

Como material, es un interesante acercamiento para el que no conoce este tipo de comunicación. Está orientado especialmente para el mundo de las ventas, de esas que se hacen cara a cara y, en ese aspecto, cumple a grandes rasgos. Sin embargo, atenta contra el libro su antigüedad (1981), ya que enfoca ciertos gestos como meramente sexuales o donde los gestos femeninos están apuntados necesariamente a este fin.

Vale la pena como un primer contacto al tema, pero es necesario complementarlo con otras lecturas o herramientas para tener un panorama más actual.