Clover Doves

by Courtney Filigenzi

Emma thought Eric was her soul mate. The power between them was undeniable—they could sense each other’s presence and feel each other’s emotions even when they were miles apart. Yet, from the very beginning, something in the pit of Emma’s soul told her they weren’t meant to be together.

A vicious attack at a local park leaves Emma near death and changes her life forever. The emotional turmoil sends both Emma and Eric into a downward spiral that tears their lives apart. At a time when their love is the strongest, they separate for good, with the undying hope that their love will bring them back to each other—but life has different plans.

After years of healing and longing for Eric, Emma gives up on their love when she meets Jared, a gorgeous student at her community college. The love she and Jared share blossoms quickly and remains strong until Emma’s father confesses to a horrible secret when he suddenly collapses from a heart attack in Emma’s arms.

Will Emma’s past come back to haunt her? Will she learn to confide in Jared while clinging to the memory of Eric? Can a person be lucky enough to find true love twice in a lifetime? And when all is said and done, who will be there for Emma in her greatest time of need?

“Clover Doves is a must-read, and I will continue to tell my friends and family about it. It gave me so many things to think about and made me rethink some things that I believe.”
—Eric Bohacek, Arizona Paranormal Activity Team

265 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 11, 2013

About the author

I write to figure out life. I live to experience everything I can.

Reviews

[Aditi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nicholas Sparks said,

“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.”

And guess what his words are actually true! Have you ever wondered after losing someone you loved so dearly and badly, why does it breaks your soul into two and you never ever get over that person, because maybe in reality that person might have been your soul mate or twin flame! Clover Doves by Courtney Filigenzi is the book which answers it all that why does it hurt too much and breaks us apart after losing someone and that undeniable psychic connection with the person you love. A very beautiful, emotional and certainly very heart-touching story about 3 people bound together with their heart and soul even in the life after! Sounds crazy and scary!! No but the book is romantic and according to me very logical too!

A huge thanks to the author, Courtney Filigenzi for providing me with a copy of her incredible book, in return for an honest and unbiased review.

Emma and Eric are soul mates. But a sudden horrifying accident changes that status and eventually pulls them apart in a very bad way. Eric falls to drug and gets expelled and Emma gets mental problem and nearly kills herself. Fast forward to few years later, Emma is still single in her life and Eric is still single in his. But that undeniable psychic connection is so disturbing for them. But them can never put a finger to it that why all the time their thoughts travel back to each other. But finally Emma keeps Eric's thoughts aside and gets in to the dating world and soon she starts dating Jared, a very nice guy. They fall in love, move in with each other and finally get married, but after Jared's death, Emma gets way too miserable and this time not because of losing Jared, but because of Eric. And soon her questions are answered and her pains are eased away!

The author has explained it all. The big question, why does it hurt and why can we still hear voices in our head after the relationship ends! Maybe it was already decided in the afterlife that the person you broke up with might have been your soul mate in your present life and if you don't embrace that person, you can feel that psychic connection and that torturing pain in your heart! I loved how the author has stressed upon the fact that lives after lives, the soul mates never changes and also that we have a soul family too in our after life, which as a matter of fact remains close to us even in our present life. I've learnt about these facts in a nonfiction book, Soul Journaling- Lesson from the Past series by Karen Valiquette.

The author has portrayed this story in a very beautiful way. Reading after few pages, your eyes will eventually well up and your eyes will remain like that almost all through the book. This book might be painful for some people. The book has way too much pain and heart-break and also some events that are going to make your heart wretch! Also the author has tried to give glimpse upon the fact that how drugs can drive people apart. The addiction part of Eric's life was rendered very gently and with care. The issue with drugs and falling for them generally happens when the person thinks that he is not worthy of any importance and how these drugs turn from being their best friend to enemy in the hardest time of their lives. Also the author has tried to make the parents of the young kids who are suffering or suffered any sexual abuse from their family relatives, to support their children boldly. Finally, when it comes to love, it seems the author has wanted to make us fall in love for another time and this time without any mistakes.

The writing is flawless and eloquently narrated and passionately told by the author. Once you're in the book, you can't put it down, till the very end. It seems sometimes pain is equally required in our life to maintain the balance. The characterization is quite well-developed and strong, especially, Emma, Jared and Eric. They have been described quite strikingly and profoundly. After reading the book, it seems that I've known Emma and Eric for a very long time. And the chemistry between Jared and Emma is quite inevitable. There is not much physical romance between Emma and Eric, but while I was reading about their chemistry, I felt like it’s too strong that you can almost feel their love.

My favorite character is no doubt, Emma, she is one true brave young woman, who is determined and strong and comes out from the trauma very gallantly and never loses her soul to this trauma and how after going through so much, she forgives her mother in the end! She is an epitome of this love story and how she holds her head high and moved forward in her life.

If you want to read something better and want to experience something so profound and beautiful, then this is a must-read for you. Truly a soul-touching love-story, which will be forever etched in your hearts!

P.S. Checkout that beautiful cover picture, it's quite justifying and gives a peaceful feel!

[Len Boswell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t usually write book reviews, but a new book, Clover Doves, by Red Room author Courtney Filigenzi caught my attention and kept me rapt from start to finish. The title alone was enough for me to pick up the book. Do you know what a clover dove is? I didn’t, but the way Filigenzi reveals the answer and ties it to the plot is writing at its best.

Oh, it’s probably not for everyone—what book is?—but if you like romance and the paranormal, not to mention sentences you can’t help bookmarking, you can't go wrong with Clover Doves, a brilliant debut novel that has forever changed my concept of "forever" and "eternity." And, to be honest, "love." Filigenzi's amazing descriptions of paranormal events will have your hair on end and chills running up and down your spine. Turn off your cell phone, curl up on the couch, and let the adventure begin. Highly recommended.

[Michelle Abramson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is most definitely up there in my top ten and I highly recommend Clover Doves to anyone, male or female. The concept and story line behind it is completely original and really opened my eyes to a completely new way of thinking. Emma is a great main character and she narrates most of the book, but it does show several character's points of view which really makes the story mesmerizing. Honestly if I didn't have class today I would of read the whole thing when I started last night around 9pm. Unfortunately I had to go to sleep at 4am to get up at 12pm. #collegestudentproblems

Again, I think this book is a must read and thank you so much Goodreads and Courtney Filigenzi for the giveaway!!!!! I LOVE YOU BOTH IMMENSELY <3

[Raymond Mathiesen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Struggling towards the light
Emma Fiorello is sixteen and deeply in love with Eric Florentino, a bright and caring, but wayward youth. They have a very special connection which Emma felt virtually as soon as they met. According to Emma they are “soul mates”. Eric knows what she means, but is perhaps a little less ‘spiritual’ in his outlook. Life is fresh and good, but Emma also senses that perhaps she and Eric will not stay together. Suddenly Emma is attacked and raped and her life begins the swift process of falling apart. Can Emma survive this turmoil and will she and Eric struggle through it, or will the premonition of relationship break-up come true?

Clover Doves could be classified as a paranormal romance: it is a love story with references to precognition, empathic telepathy and ghosts. The novel is, however, also part spiritual philosophy and part self-development/psychology. This is not to imply that Clover Doves is overly ‘preachy’ or contains lectures on these subjects: the philosophy and psychology arise naturally from the plot and characters, and are quite skilfully woven into the novel. It is clear, though, that Filigenzi has done much reading and thinking about the subject of human potential. Beyond these specialized subjects the novel is also very much about ‘ordinary’ life struggles: family, friends, love relationships, suffering, conflict and death. Clover Doves is skilfully written and will appeal to a quite wide variety of readers, especially those willing to keep an open mind.

The plot is divided into three sections of equal length. Part 1: The End begins with a peak of disaster and descends in a spiral of crises as life falls apart for Emma and Eric. Part 2 adds further development and complication, and consists of a series of revelations about the past. Several years after Part 1 Emma meets Jared, a very loving and understanding college student who seems to have his future well planned and who is very much interested in Emma. Part 3: The Beginning once again starts with a peak and continues with increasing sadness, but also increasing joy, as relationships are developed and worked out, and plot details are resolved. Emma must face the complicated issues of her love for both Eric and Jared, her dislike of her drunken mother, Cassie, her need for other friends, and the general question of meaning and development in her life.

Filigenzi writes well and the plot moves its readers along, never boring them or dwelling too much on any particular point. There are a number of plot twists to surprise us and keep us wondering where we are going. At times the writing is quite poetic and at other times it is full of tension. The two chapters describing Emma’s rape and subsequent experiences in hospital are very well written. The emotion is quite palpable. As just one example the reader should note the subtle comparison between the rapist’s “dark, rough whiskers” which “scratched” Emma’s face and the “scratchy hospital blanket” which covers her when she awakes from her ordeal to face yet another ordeal of investigative prying. The narration shifts from character to character and we see experiences from first one point of view and then another. This Postmodernist technique allows us to see deeper into the narrating characters and reveals the inadequacies of point of view. What one character thinks of another is incomplete, biased and occasionally quite wrong. There is one example of imagery associated with the title of the book (which I will not describe in order to avoid spoiling the reading experience), but beyond this symbolism is absent. Just as a word of warning, there are mild sex scenes in the novel and occasional course language, both of which may offend conservative readers. Clover Doves, however, would certainly not qualify as erotica. Sex is of course a normal part of romantic relationships and most modern readers will have no trouble accepting Filigenzi’s tasteful depictions.

The characters are very likable, though they possess personality failings, and the reader immediately empathises with them and hopes the best for them. Even Cassie, who is a classic ‘bad’ mother, has hidden depths as we come to know her better, recognising our own failings. All of the five main characters, Emma, Eric, Jared, Cassie and James, Emma’s guilt ridden father, are well rounded, having a mix of good and bad points, which makes them quite believable and lifelike. All of these characters must struggle to grow and in some way, great or small, overcome their failings. Jared is the most ‘perfect’ character, but even he has moments of jealousy and suffers from some lack of thought about the implications of his relationship with Emma.

As has already been indicated, the main theme is suffering and overcoming pain and difficulty. As Buddhist philosophers point out, the First Noble Truth is that life inherently involves “dukkha” or suffering, and that even in our happiest moments there is latent pain (Michael Carrithers. Buddha: A Very Short Introduction: Oxford University Press, 2001, p. 55 - 57). Why do we suffer and what are we to do about it? Can we grow toward happiness, or is this the idle fantasy of the optimist? Does spirituality and psychological development offer at least some reconciliation with pain and suffering? These are the types of questions Emma must struggle with. There is also a related theme of relationships (in the form of family, friends and lovers). Personal connections can cause us pain, but can also heal. As the Existentialist Gabriel Marcel points out in Man Against Mass Society (Gateway, 1970) modern people “lack a sense of their own worth and are strangers to themselves and one another” (Thomas Flynn. Existentialism: A Very Short Introduction: Oxford University Press, 2006, p. 90). We are lonely, afraid and hurt but aid is near if we can overcome our resistance, our defensiveness. But of course no relationship is perfect or runs entirely smoothly. Death is the final, inevitable affliction and it too appears as a prominent theme in this novel. Once again from a Buddhist perspective, “without an awareness of death, life can only be lived on a shallow level” (Jane Hope. Introducing Buddha: Allen & Unwin, 1999, p. 31). We fear death, feel life is made meaningless by death and deny our own death (because when young it seems unreal and with age it seems too close). Since prehistoric times people have speculated about death and an afterlife and Emma, along with many, many others in this long tradition, is forced to contemplate her own mortality from a very young age. At sixteen she is beaten almost lifeless and the implications of this last for years to come. Closely allied to death is the theme of violence and war. Aggression is of course usually avoided, but is it sometimes a solution to extreme problems? Do we sometimes walk lightly into violence and what are its consequences? Is the immediate victim the only one to suffer? Of course life is complex and there are not always clear answers, and Filigenzi’s text does not always offer hard and fast rules or solutions.

As has already been noted spirituality features prominently in this novel. We see references to the concepts of “Yin” and ”Yang”, “soul mates”, “guardian angels” and the “afterlife”. This is not surprising in a book which talks so much about death. The void of the unknown naturally comes to mind as we all contemplate our mortality. As Emma comments:

“Facing death with no spiritual belief is difficult, especially as a child. You’re left with so many unanswered questions.”

The spiritual philosophy presented is not Orthodox. “God” is mentioned, but church-going Christians come out looking not so nice. Jared talks about the garbage that “so-called religious people” talk about abortion. The “faith” presented is “personal and private” with a New Age flavour, that is a mix of Hinduism and modern mysticism. The paranormal aspects of the novel are given a distinctly spiritual aspect. Emma regularly watches the popular TV program “Spirit Hunters” with her friends. They have a light hearted party, but later she remembers those days with a much more serious attitude. Her paranormal experiences give her strength and peace of mind, helping her to face difficult circumstances. Just as an aside it should be noted that the paranormal ideas concerning “electromagnetic fields” comes from real research by the university academic Michael Persinger (Wikipedia. Michael Persinger: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_...). Persinger has conducted an extraordinary number of experiments and studies on this subject.

Psychology naturally goes along with spirituality. As Emma comments, she finds peace of mind, strength and meaning in “a belief system outside myself”. Clover Doves is jam packed with details which will be noticed by those interested in the mind. Filigenzi has obviously done library research into psychology and her characters and plot are much more real and believable as a result. The psychological effects of rape on the victim are vividly depicted, including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder flash backs, rage, guilt and feeling ‘dirty’ (Psychology Today. To Forgive Or Not Forgive: That Is The Question: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/t... for anger and guilt). The plot also includes society’s tendency to blame and bully rape victims (Psychology Today. The Blame Game: Rape And Bullying I Teen America: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/y...). The therapeutic techniques of deep breathing, meditation and mindfulness as a way of dealing with psychological pain and stress are also alluded to. The most notable psychological concept explored in the novel is the idea of the “Other”. As the psychoanalysis Jaques Lacan pointed out (Lionel Bailly. Lacan: A Beginner’s Guide: Oneworld, 2009, Ch. 7), we are very much haunted by a sense of lack and separation from the world. We see ourselves as an isolated ‘I” and believe that we are cut off from others and they from us. We are even ‘other’ to ourselves, that is cut off from self-understanding. We consequently feel a void, a longing, a desire for connection and true understanding. We long for unity with someone truly ‘like us’, who comprehends our experiences and perspectives and who we can comprehend. This longing is central to Clover Doves. According to Lacan the sense of separation from the ‘Other’ can never really be overcome, but Filigenzi, following a more mystical path of ‘Oneness’, peruses the ideas of connection and of finding those who truly understand us (for one of many books on Oneness’ see – Alan Watts. The Book: On The Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are: Vintage Books, 1972).

Clover Doves largely deals with a very individualistic view of life, but the larger perspective of society is present to some extent. Much of the action takes place in the “small town” of Ellicott City, Maryland. We are not presented with the much celebrated view of small town America, but instead we see a rather shallow, nasty, gossip ridden, small-minded place. Rather than producing individuals of character this part of the U.S. is depicted as resulting in high conformity. The girls who torment Emma all have the “same fake disgusted look”: they are carbon copies and artificial at that. From the perspective of the Marxism/Capitalism debate we see that the pursuit of money and power is virtually completely absent from Emma’s life. She decides on a career in “Special Education” helping “autistic students” because it gets her out of her own problems and gives her personal satisfaction and meaning. Cassie, on the other hand, is lost in a pursuit of the good life: wine, parties, clothes, make-up and money. She is depicted as a result of this attitude as being a hollow and bad mother. Successfully, or unsuccessfully, Marx tried to create a more humane society (Gill Hands. Understanding Marx: Hodder Education, 2011, Ch. 6) and criticised Capitalism for being exactly the opposite.

Feminists will be pleased to note that Emma as a sixteen year old is a physically fit young woman who enjoys outdoor sports, like jogging. She has a positive attitude and is already contributing to society in a caring way through her part-time job at the local veterinary clinic. The great bulk of the book of course deals with the personal effects of rape, which is an overwhelmingly male crime and one which is proposed by Feminists to be at least partly motivated by a desire for power (Wikipedia. Rape: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape). As we have already noted Filigenzi depicts the ‘re-rape’ which the interview and legal process inflicts on the victim (Susan Alice Watkins & Marta Rodriguez. Introducing Feminism: Allen & Unwin, 1999, p. 136-137). Emma is very much disempowered by the rape, but the capable 16 year old is never completely lost, and we can admire her as a woman who struggles through difficult circumstance. Emma’s friend, Erica, who appears in Part 3:The Beginning, is a caring woman willing to go to considerable trouble to help her friend, travelling long distances to aid Emma. Cassie, by contrast, is a ‘painted lady’, following the values of male dominated society and representing much of what Feminism stands against.

From the wider perspective of Gender Studies Eric in some ways fits the Western stereotyped view, which was propagated in the 1950’s, of the ‘tough guy rebel’ who others know to leave alone. His room is messy and his temper is short. Eric, however, is also loving and sensitive towards Emma, and has hidden depths and understanding. As he develops through time he, like Emma, overcomes his failings becoming a much more rounded, non-stereotypical male. Jared is sensitive and loving from his first appearance in the book. Emma is surprised by his apartment noting “how clean it was inside”. As we have noted he does have some stereotypical male qualities: he is unthinking. He is, however, much more a New Age man of the Men’s movement type: strong but feeling. James, Emma’s father, first appears in the text as the typical retro-1950’s father who feels he must be strong and who is insensitive to others’ needs. As the story progresses, though, he gains at least some contact with his caring side.

LGBTIQ readers will be unhappy to find that they are negatively represented by Eric’s paedophile gay Uncle Tim. Not all paedophiles are gay and not all gays are paedophile, but this is the wide spread accusation in popular culture. Of course gay paedophiles do exist, but we wonder why this character could not have been balanced by a more positive LGBTIQ portrayal in another minor character? The statistics clearly reveal that LGBTIQ people contribute positively to society (Prudential Financial. The LGBT Financial Experience: 2012-2013 Prudential Research Study: Prudential Financial, c2012, http://www.prudential.com/media/manag...). There is in fact some evidence that these people contribute more than other groups, although it should be noted that these studies have been criticised on methodological grounds (for one example of extra contribution see – Richard Florida. Technology And Tolerance: The Importance Of Diversity Too High-Technology Growth: Center On Urban & Metropolitan Policy, The Brookings Institution, June 2001, http://www.urban.org/UploadedPDF/1000...).

African-Americans also receive representation in Filigenzi’s novel, though in this case the representation is positive. Erica, a friend Emma’s meets later in the book, is described as having “chocolate brown skin” and we can infer from this that she is African-American. Erica is represented as bright, caring, a good friend, and married to a successful officer in the Marines. Dr. Reynolds, similarly has “brown skin”. He is an “oncologist” and has a “kind” and gentle manner.

From the perspective of Structuralism we note that, in line with the binary theory of Claude Levi-Strauss (Boris Wiseman. Introducing Levi-Strauss and Structural Anthropology: Allen & Unwin, 2000, p. 87, 96, 149), Filigenzi’s novel centres on a number of complementary pairs. They are: Emma/Eric, Emma/Jared, Eric/Jared and Eric/Cassie. In each case these characters have something in common: both Emma and Eric, for example, suffer from very painful pasts. The members of these binary pairs are of course individuals and not exactly alike, but the comparisons are notable. In terms of ethics we also see the good/bad dichotomy, although in this case the binary relationship is opposed. Emma, Eric, Jared and Erica are ‘good’ while Cassie and the school kids of Ellicott City are ‘bad’. This dichotomy is not always sustained though, and, in line with Postmodernist thought, good and bad blends into grey. We see that people behave as they do partly because of circumstances, and that we are not necessarily simply one thing or another. This is certainly a more mature view of the world and ethics.

Continuing with Levi-Strauss’ anthropological version of Structuralism it should be noted that myth plays an important role in Clover Doves. The paranormal and spiritual elements of the book give it a mythic quality, though I do not mean to imply that it is pure myth. The Emma, Eric, Jared love triangle is a type of element that often appears in myth, and indeed in life, both really and metaphorically (Sallie Nichols. Jung And Tarot: An Archetypal Journey: Samuel Weiser, 1984, p. 130-131). If we take the Tarot card The Lover as one example we can very much see the pertinence to Filigenzi’s tale. In the Marseilles Deck, the ‘traditional’ version, we see a young blond haired man standing between two women. On his right we see a woman with a different visage, who is perhaps older and who touches him on his shoulder (near his head). On the youth’s left is a blond haired woman who has similar facial features to the young man, and who touches him on his heart. The lover’s head is turned to the first woman, but his body turns to the blond. Above them all, and presumably unseen by them, hovers the god Cupid, his arrow aimed at the Lovers heart. Cupid can be said to represent fate, or natural forces, or greater unseen powers (Sallie Nichols. Jung And Tarot: An Archetypal Journey: Samuel Weiser, 1984, p.135-137). In the Waite Deck Cupid is replaced by “a great winged figure with arms extended, pouring down influence” (Arthur Edward Waite. The Pictorial Key To The Tarot: Being Fragments Of A Secret Tradition Under The Veil Of Divination: U.S. Games Systems, c1971, p.92). This “winged figure” is in essence an angel. It is said that the first, older woman could represent intelligence and things of the mind, and the blond woman the emotions and matter of the heart and body (Sallie Nichols, p.130). In Filigenzi’s novel we have a woman and two men, but the circumstances are otherwise quite similar. Emma has “brown eyes” and “gorgeous brown hair”. Eric also has “brown eyes” and “soft brown hair”. Jared, by contrast has “blue eyes” and “long locks of blond hair”. Emma is very attracted to Eric, emotionally and physically, but her mind (especially later in the book) and her intuition tells her that things will not go smoothly. When Emma meets Jared her emotions make her hesitate, but on reflection she decides on a rational plan of openness and honesty which will enable her to have a sensible love relationship with him. For Emma fate and other ‘spiritual’ forces will play a great role in her relationships with both Eric and Jared. Interestingly a number of people who positively influence Emma are referred to as being like a “guardian angel”.

[Elizabeth · Rating 1 out of 5]

**Goodreads First Reads**

First of all let me say that I only read about 50 pages of this book. It was very poorly written, and I could already tell it was going to be a very predictable story.

Based on those 50 pages I am going to say that the horrible secret that Emma's father confesses is that he killed her rapist. Emma will fall in love with Jared but some tragic turn of events will bring her back to Eric in some supernatural way.

There is no way I am going to read another 200 pages to find that all out, the quality just isn't there. Sorry.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though not a classic, the story of Emma and Eric's love is powerful. I could not put it down!