What this book is about?
This book helps us find out if people are lying to us. If you follow the instructions from this book, you can really become a human lie detector. The principles are simple, practical and so obvious that we are not aware of them.
Mainly the objective of the techniques laid out my David are:
1 to get a confession by putting the lier on the spot and in the corner so much that he impulsive needs to spit out the truth
2 if no confession is gotten, then to find out serious enough red flags or inconsistencies in his words to determine it is a lie
3 if he doesn’t speak, then using his facial expressions, and body language to determine it is a lie or not
Of course the assumptions of all the techniques in this book is that the person we think is lying is in front of us, or on the phone or at least is not avoiding us. Alas many people who will not be in front of us long enough to use the techniques laid out in this book. However there are still many cases where this is possible like in romantic relationships, employee/employer relationships, parents/children relationships. The examples in the book are mainly around these relationships.
Here I will give some excerpts from the book:
1 Body Language: The person will make little or no eye contact. A person who is lying to you will do everything to avoid making eye contact.
2 Emotional States: Consistency and Contradiction: The timing is off between gestures and words. If the facial expression comes after the verbal statement (“I am so angry with you right now” … pause … and then the angry expression), it looks false.
3 Emotional States: Consistency and Contradiction: The timing is off between gestures and words. If the facial expression comes after the verbal statement (“I am so angry with you right now” … pause … and then the angry expression), it looks false.
4 What Is Said: Actual Verbal Content : He will use your words to make his point. When asked, “Did you cheat on me?” The liar answers, “No, I didn’t cheat on you.” In addition, when a suspect uses a contraction
5 How Something Is Said : Deceitful response to questions regarding beliefs and attitudes take longer to think up. However, how fast does the rest of the sentence follow the initial one-word response? In truthful statements a fast no or yes is followed quickly by an explanation.
6 Psychological Profile: We often see the world as a reflection of ourselves. If you’re being accused of something, check your accuser’s veracity. Watch out for those people who are always telling you just how corrupt the rest of the world is. Beware of those asking you if you believe him. They may respond with, “you don’t believe me, do you?” Most people who tell the truth expect to be believed.
7 General Indications of Deceit : When the subject is changed, he’s in a better, more relaxed mood.
Here are some examples of what you can say to trigger a confession:
1 Suspicion: You feel that your girlfriend was unfaithful the night before.
Question: “Anything interesting happen last night?”
2 Suspicion: You suspect one of your salespeople has lied to a customer in order to make the sale.
Question: “Jim, I’m wondering if you could help me with something. It’s come to my attention that someone in the
sales department has been misrepresenting our products to customers. How do you think we can clear this up?”
3 Ask-a-Fact : During the conversation simply ask general, clear questions pertaining to your suspicion. This causes the person you are questioning to recall information. If he’s lying, he’ll take a while to answer because he first has to check his response mentally to be sure it makes sense. Made-up stories do not have details because they never happened
4 Mind Games : This is the method you use when you want the truth as it relates to a person’s previous behavior. A parent suspects that her twelve-year-old son is smoking cigarettes.
Approach: “I know all about the smoking and the sneaking around. You know I’m not happy about that, but I just want you to promise me that you won’t drink alcohol until you’re twenty-one.” This is by far the finest approach because it works on so many levels.
-First, it takes a forward assumptive stance –the parent “knows all about the smoking.”
- Second, it uses two truisms. The phrases “sneaking around” and “you
know I’m not happy about that” set the tone for honesty.
The child hears two things that he knows to be true
-He was sneaking around and his mother is unhappy about his smoking. He is therefore willing to accept at face value what follows.
- Third, the mother gives her son an easy out. All he has to do is promise not to drink and he’s home free. There’s no threat or punishment, just honest statements followed by a deal that he believes to be true as well.
How is it useful to you in your :
Life
This book is highly usable for our daily lives. Even if you forget all the details, just knowing the general principles listed above in the summary will suffice. Mostly we rely on our instincts but adding this repertoire in your investigation of the truth, will definitely help.
Business
At work, lying is unavoidable because the stakes are so high. Being able to detect lies will prevent many managers from being taken advantage of and also the moral of the team will become higher as except the manager, the rest knows the truth, usually
Careers
Many careers are destroyed by lies. So this book will definitely help you save your job, and move your career ahead by protecting yourself from lies in the office.
Conclusion
So the world has come back to pre-corona stage it seems. Was it not for Putin’s madness, we would really be happy as a world. But this too shall pass.
I am working on various new strategies for fulfill in what I believe is my life’s mission:
To make a few billion people embrace the mode of goodness, moving away from the current mode of passion.
Those of you not familiar with the Bhagvad Gita won’t understand what I am mean in exact terms but those who know about the 3 modes of nature (goodness, passion, and ignorance) will know exactly what I mean.
In plain language let me re-state my life mission:
To make a few billion people more curious about self-discovery, and less eager to chase material success
Truly I believe there is more to life than money, big cars, traveling the world, being number 1 in your industry etc.
For myself I have experienced and I am living that life I am professing, so I am not speculating. I just wish more people could experience the inner peace, the infallibility and eternity of this way of life for which I still have no fixed name yet.
Anyways. See you next week.