What Would Judy Say?: A Grown-Up Guide to Living Together with Benefits

by Judy Sheindlin

Judge Judy says, “When I was young, you either left your parents’ house in a white dress or a pine box.” But times have changed. Today couples are more inclined to test the waters before tying the knot.

In What Would Judy Say? A Grown-Up Guide to Living Together (with Benefits), Judge Judy Sheindlin enters a lively dialogue with readers from her popular Web site, www.whatwouldjudysay.com, to explore, with humor and savvy the pitfalls and possibilities of sharing a life together before marriage.

Judy’s wisdom, based on a lifetime of experience, both in and out of court, covers the territory. In her inimitable way she offers reality checks: “Men are warriors, and warriors don’t clean up after themselves.” She cautions against blind love: “Frogs don’t become princes.” About mingling money and property, she warns: “No joint before the ring.” She advises that couples entering live-in relationships protect themselves because there is no court of People Just Living Together.

Rich with stories of real men and women who share their travels in the land of love and commitment, this is a heartwarming, funny and smart guide, to help people negotiate and really enjoy what is supposed to be this wonderful journey of life.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor

116 pages, Paperback

First published April 23, 2013

About the author

Judith Susan Sheindlin , professionally known as Judge Judy, is an American prosecution lawyer, former Manhattan family court judge, television personality, television producer, and author. Since September 1996, Sheindlin has presided over her own successful 3-time Daytime Emmy Award–winning arbitration-based court show series, Judge Judy, produced by CBS Television Distribution.

Sheindlin passed the New York state bar examination in 1965 and became a prosecutor in the family court system. In 1982 New York City Mayor Ed Koch appointed her as a judge, first in criminal court, then later as Manhattan's supervising family court judge in 1986.

It was reported in mid-2012 that Sheindlin was the highest-paid television personality, making $123,000 per day, or $45,000,000 annually for the 52 days per year that she tapes her show. In October 2013 it was reported that Sheindlin was still the highest paid TV star, earning $47 million per year for Judge Judy.

The series has earned her the honorific of "Court Show Queen". Sheindlin is the longest serving judge or arbitrator in courtroom-themed programming history, a distinction that earned Sheindlin a place in the Guinness World Records.

Reviews

[Nan Silvernail · Rating 3 out of 5]

Exactly the advice she's been giving for years, and it is GOOD advice for both ladies and gentlemen of all ages.

The only thing that irritated me was the story of the weight gain messing up a marriage. What if it's not the spouse's fault but because of a medical condition, as in steroids? But again, that's the human animal for you, and I have to admit she's right, people are shallow. I'd just like to think "For better or worse" really meant that. That's my hang-up.

Also, I'm convinced my friend Marcia's advice is sound, that you should see your partner at their worst. Deal with them having stomach flu, for instance. Not pleasant, but you need to be able to deal with the whole person. Go on a road trip with them. Hopefully see them having a full-blown tantrum - this is to find out if they fight fair.

Judge Judy wakes and runs to the bathroom to groom herself so her husband will see her at the best possible. Laudable, but is it realistic? For her, it is. For most of us, maybe not so much.

Still, a great guide for the modern world for both men and women to protect themselves in relationships.

[Belinda Rule · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would love to have Judge Judy as my admirable, highly successful, intensely critical and overbearing aunt, except for the part where I would disappoint her expectations on every possible occasion. A book full of advice I will never be adequate enough to take.

Snippets of Judy's trailblazing career and history of taking no shit from husbands etc are a delight.

As the show does, this will appeal to people who enjoying haranguing - whether being harangued (me, because I suspect I deserve it) or imagining doing the haranguing (also me: I enjoy fantasising about masterfulness and moral certainty, because my exile from them pains me).

(Available as a free download from Judy's 'What would Judy say?' website.)

[Susan Coster · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a free book given out by Judge Judy so I can't complain since she did a "mitzvah" for many. The language is very simplified and her message is direct, be yourself, do the right thing and leave a footprint. In other words, don't take any sh** from anyone and be the best person you can possibly be. She also give a bit of background about how her show came to be and how she has set the standards for her own show. In the back, she asks for a contribution to Stand Up to Cancer. I will pay this book forward....thank you Judge Judy!

[Miscelleana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sound advice with some humor thrown in.

I have been watching Judge Judy for 13 of the 16 years it's been on the air. So many people just say that the Judge is a witch and ask how I can watch the show. I think if they would watch the show and pay attention to her words and her reactions to the liars, they would understand she's a realist that doesn't put up with bs. That's why I took on this book for my reading pleasure. She offers a powerful and experienced point of view on the real scenarios of couples nowadays. She has a sense of humor that many don't even know about and it shows through in her writing. A fantastic book with great advice that I recommend to the many "unmarried, living-together" couples.

[Patricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Judge Judy imparts a lot of wisdom within this paperback book which is less than 100 pages and easy to read. In the first part of the book, she relates some interesting details of her personal life, then she gives her advice to the reader about how to get the most out of life. She is blunt and some will even consider what she says to be shocking. She admits that much of what she says is not politically correct, but she is usually right!

[Pam · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you like Judge Judy, you will really like this book. I watch her show almost everyday and this book is filled with typical Judge Judyisms.

Let's face it, the woman knows her stuff. It is practical advice for real life situations.

[Dana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Judge Judy provided good advice in this book that is helpful to everyone in one way or another; especially woman. If you don't call the shots in your life someone else will...you can't allow others to define your happiness or your worth.

[Miscelleana Tsalikis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sound advice with some humor thrown in.

I have been watching Judge Judy for 13 of the 16 years it's been on the air. So many people just say that the Judge is a witch and ask how I can watch the show. I think if they would watch the show and pay attention to her words and her reactions to the liars, they would understand she's a realist that doesn't put up with bs. That's why I took on this book for my reading pleasure. She offers a powerful and experienced point of view on the real scenarios of couples nowadays. She has a sense of humor that many don't even know about and it shows through in her writing. A fantastic book with great advice that I recommend to the many "unmarried, living-together" couples.

[JacquLynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Much needed read

Breath of fresh air to read with the right about of humor! In addition, I learned quite of few things...stick with my standards of obtaining marriage and also not join finances. After two failed marriages and having to start over financially from ground zero; I will not make the same mistake a third time. Three strikes your out!

[Megan · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is an okay book. Nothing new to know. It might be good info for someone that maybe doesn't have much contact with the outside world, but to me this was all common sense and stuff we already know. I still love Judge Judy, though!

[Ophelia Gold · Rating 5 out of 5]

Judy is excellent with her direct remarks and no nonsense attitude about love and marriage, definitely something worth taking to heart.

[Nolan Vogel · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars cause Judge Judy is awesome

[M · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't know what made me pick this book up other than seeing Judge Judy's face. I was perusing the polyamorous section of the library, and this probably falls under non-conventional living arrangements. The book was sexist and uncomfortable from the get-go. She repeats the "getting the milk for free" adage so many times and claims that since she's heard it repeated so often, she can only surmise there is an "essential truth" to it. That's some pretty faulty logic. I considered abandoning it altogether but it's so short...

I think one or two contributors were gay men, so that bit of inclusivity was refreshing. It was very annoying to be constantly told what women do and how men are, as if it were so immutable and factual. There were some funny zingers in it I recognize from her style on the show, though.

I feel bad for Judy that she's in a marriage where she rushes to the bathroom in the morning to wash her face and put on lipgloss because she wouldn't want her husband to see her otherwise. This whole book just sounds like advice my mom and grandma would give me, and they're the ones who inspired a love for Judge Judy's show, so that certainly makes sense. I'm not particularly pro-marriage myself so that refrain wasn't doing much for me, but the advice about not sharing financial debts is very sound. Her ideas are practical and make sense, even if I disagree with her reasoning or the sentiment behind her advice.

It was an okay book. I didn't really learn anything and it basically just drove home the same 2 or 3 points for all ~100 pages.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Blog Review in Progress

Judge Judy strikes again with her poignant and powerful advice. Written in the same K.I.S.S. format that have made her books bestsellers, this book flowed smoothly and I finished it in about 1 hour. Now, I do have to admit that I did have a bit of a sticker shock with it. The book is 116 pages and $5.99. It didn't stop me grabbing it. This is to be part of a series based on her new interactive website http://www.whatwouldjudysay.com/ .

I loved that she included questions/stories of people who have made the mistakes of living together. I think it brought a bit of "human-ness" to it. She also didn't have quite the bite of the tongue as she is famous for either.

Now I must admit that I have been married for over 20 years, but there are things that I walked away from this book saying..."ya know...never thought of it that way." This is definitely a series I will continue with.

Wanna know just what a genius this woman is....it is Indie published and Kindle lending friendly!

[Kristin Matthews · Rating 4 out of 5]

Her book is directed at women, but would be worthwhile for men to read too. She offers advice on how to be successful living the kind of life you want to live - whether its w worker, a stay at home parent, or other. The main message is that happiness and success come from figuring out what YOU want for yourself, not what your parents, friends or society wants.

I appreciate that she acknowledges that she is luckier than most; she doesn't pretend to give us advice that may be realistic for a multi-millionaire but not for an average working person. She merely offers guidance and principles to live by which I agree are fundamental to starting a career.

Giving this book 4 stars. The only thing I would have liked to read more of was her personal challenges, or obstacles. I realize it was meant to be a short, and easy read though.

I think it was very selfless and kind of her to offer this book for free. It shows she wrote it for the right reasons - not to make money, but to inspire. Thank you Judge Judy!

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Judge Judy's New Book, Free for Girls! That's the headline I read that drew me to this book. Not being a female myself, I didn't pick it up. Then a few days later, I saw that the book was in fact free for everyone. I downloaded it and began reading it on my Kindle.

After reading the first few pages, it became clear why this book was initially advertised to young women. This book serves as an excellent piece of advice to women with a simple message, "You set your own value." While the book is geared towards young women, I greatly enjoyed reading it myself, and definitely think that young men in the workforce could benefit from following "Judy's 10 Laws of Success" in this book.

Vastly different from the sage on the stage as the media portrays her, this is Judge Judy as a person trying to give back and help young people on the path to success. When you finish this book, you'll have a greater respect for what she's accomplished, and hopefully a greater respect and value on yourself.

[Arthur Cravan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can't say with too much certainty how or why I ended up reading this, except that I was surprised to find out she'd written books, & had always had a vague fascination with her. She reminds me of staying home from school as a kid... maybe that's it.

Almost invariably oldschool, & often plain unenlightened. Having said that, you forgive it, because she IS from the oldschool. But... I mean, she seems like a nice person. This really isn't a critique on Judge Judy. I just looked at the star rating & this book was... "OK".

[Claudio Consuegra · Rating 1 out of 5]

As much as I like Judge Judy, this books speaks out of both sides of her mouth. She is very supportive if people living together outside of marriage and yet the stories contained, not to speak of the growing body of research, points to the negative effects and problems with such an arrangement. I do not rewind this book to anyone not married as it encourages people to do what the very stories contained within discourage.

[Dianne · Rating 3 out of 5]

A commonsense guide for living together. Judge Judy gets to the point. It could have gone a little bit more in depth. I would recommend this book to a young couple who has never lived with a partner.

A commonsense guide for living together. Judge Judy gets to the point. It could have gone a little bit more in depth. I would recommend this book to a young couple who has never lived with a partner.

[Jenny · Rating 2 out of 5]

I misunderstood the topic and didn't really see the subtitle and did not understand that this is based on a website as part of the Judge Judy empire. I thought it was going to be a life conduct kind of thing and it is actually, just like the title says, focused on (mainly heterosexual) marriage versus living together. Super short book, reads like she talks, not aimed at me.

[Damian Ahmadi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting approach on womanhood in America after watching how people throw herself at her courtroom with the childish victim mentality. Yet I still have to grasp what is needed to have a no-nonsense attitude...

[Thea Marlowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for living together without the benefit of marriage! Many legal things to be aware of, protect both persons. Learned a lot, and now aware of necessary legal documents.

[Kelsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read it aloud with my significant other. Lots of good advice.

[Thalarctos · Rating 4 out of 5]

I downloaded this one for free, and I have to say that it didn't really apply to my life, but I do like Judge Judy so I'd recommend it to anyone who hasn't committed to marriage yet.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple straightforward no nonsense. I gotta hand it to her.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

good reads changing their format is wack as shit and they fucked the whole sit up

[Isaiah Fapuro · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really good read. Some of JJ's views are old fashioned in parts & some of the formatting would have been best for an on screen deployment! Judge Judy forever!

[Angela]

Download for FREE here

[jj · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book of advice that can be quite helpful, though you have to know yourself. You must learn to be strong and give your opinions
or else others will walk all over you.

[Winter Sophia Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enlightening, Funny & Point On!