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Ben jij mijn moeder?
Hoewel ze geadopteerd is, heeft Emma zich als kind nooit 'anders' gevoeld. De geboorte van Stella, de echte dochter van haar ouders, bracht daar geen verandering in. Tien jaar daarna overleden hun ouders bij een verkeersongeluk en Emma, die toen negentien was en eigenlijk had moeten genieten van het leven, nam de zorg voor Stella op zich. Nu is het weer tien jaar later en Stella begint vol zelfvertrouwen aan een studie. Ze heeft haar grote zus niet meer zo nodig als vroeger. Emma heeft het druk genoeg met haar werk en haar onweerstaanbare, doch onbetrouwbare vriend, maar mist toch wat in haar leven. Na een bijzondere ontmoeting met een zwerver besluit ze haar echte moeder op te sporen, iets wat ze steeds heeft uitgesteld. Jarenlang had ze aan Stella het kinderboekje Ben jij mijn moeder? voorgelezen, over een vogeltje dat zijn moeder zoekt, en dat zinnetje krijgt voor haar nu een speciale lading. Emma's zoektocht verloopt niet gladjes. Bovendien ziet ze gaandeweg in dat ze eigenlijk vooral op zoek is naar haar eigen identiteit. Ze is dochter, vriendin, zus en surrogaatmoeder geweest, maar wie of wat is ze eigenlijk zelf? Emma doet ontroerende ontdekkingen, over zichzelf, over haar echte ouders, maar ook over haar adoptie-ouders.
344 pages, Paperback
First published June 2, 2003
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245 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
March 15, 2012
This book has been a very pleasant surprise. I love it more and more each time I read more of it. It's like opening a gift and finding it has lots of different parts that all go together beautifully. It's so up to date and current. LOVED IT.
February 13, 2012
Being male and middle-aged I'm sure I'm in completely the wrong demographic for this fluffy chick-lit version of the adoptee-searching-for their-roots narrative, but being adopted myself I can't get enough of these tales.
The heroine's quest begins when she has an encounter with a lost homeless man on London's Underground - which took me back to reading Orwells 'Down and Out in Paris and London' when I was a youngster and being alarmed how easily I identified with the hopeless state of the characters he encounters, and having a vision of myself as a tramp in later life ( it hasn't happened - yet )- so I warmed to the story immediately. I should say that she goes about her quest in completely the 'wrong' way: no intermediary, no counselling - but this isn't real life, it's just a story, and all that beaurocratic paperworky stuff would perhaps make for a dull read. Instead she sets about tracking down all, the fortunately only five, women in the country who share her birth mother's name, along with her BBC documentary-making friend who is coincidentally also adopted. Having lost both her adoptive parents when she was just out of her teens she was left to bring up her younger sister by herself, and though mildly neurotic she seems to bear remarkably few scars from this second devastating trauma. As the story winds to it's all-too-neat conclusion I would have expected a greater emotional reaction from the heroine as her possible mothers are crossed off her list, especially so given what we eventually learn about her birth-mother's nature, but here I think the author is constrained by the up-beat imperative of this kind of fiction. The happy ending was a little too sweet for me, but perhaps that's me being bitter.
The heroine's quest begins when she has an encounter with a lost homeless man on London's Underground - which took me back to reading Orwells 'Down and Out in Paris and London' when I was a youngster and being alarmed how easily I identified with the hopeless state of the characters he encounters, and having a vision of myself as a tramp in later life ( it hasn't happened - yet )- so I warmed to the story immediately. I should say that she goes about her quest in completely the 'wrong' way: no intermediary, no counselling - but this isn't real life, it's just a story, and all that beaurocratic paperworky stuff would perhaps make for a dull read. Instead she sets about tracking down all, the fortunately only five, women in the country who share her birth mother's name, along with her BBC documentary-making friend who is coincidentally also adopted. Having lost both her adoptive parents when she was just out of her teens she was left to bring up her younger sister by herself, and though mildly neurotic she seems to bear remarkably few scars from this second devastating trauma. As the story winds to it's all-too-neat conclusion I would have expected a greater emotional reaction from the heroine as her possible mothers are crossed off her list, especially so given what we eventually learn about her birth-mother's nature, but here I think the author is constrained by the up-beat imperative of this kind of fiction. The happy ending was a little too sweet for me, but perhaps that's me being bitter.
July 22, 2016
Not what I expected from this author in the least. I ploughed on till I had managed 30% but that was it for me. I've read a few of her collaborative books with Mark Edwards and they're great but I wasn't enjoying this at all. I was aware it wasn't going to be a thriller like those but the writing and mistakes in this drove me nuts. I've also bought another by her alone which I wouldn't have done off the back of this one......
I didn't like Stella-she was a selfcentred little cow and Emma got on my nerves as well with all her soul-searching claptrap all the time. Her head not being able to support the weight of her thoughts and then "as if in a dream"........I found it all a bit ridiculous.
Now their ages....One minute Emma's 19, Stella 11 then Emma's 24 and Stella 13, then Emma's 13 and Stella 3, then a 9 year age difference again followed by a 10 year difference. So I've no idea of the age-gap. Then Darrell's surname started out as Hawkes, morphed into Hawkins and back again to Hawkes. That's just sloppy.
She puts in too many commas but before conjunctions where they're not supposed to be, no apostrophe in Ladies' almost every time it was written, then a missed fullstop, missed a from a sentence, I was used when she was meant to have been.....didn't anybody proofread this ?
I did like what Emma said upon meeting Stella-that was very sweet. However, I'd not recommend this one and I'm just hoping Lifesaver is a lot better presented altogether.
I didn't like Stella-she was a selfcentred little cow and Emma got on my nerves as well with all her soul-searching claptrap all the time. Her head not being able to support the weight of her thoughts and then "as if in a dream"........I found it all a bit ridiculous.
Now their ages....One minute Emma's 19, Stella 11 then Emma's 24 and Stella 13, then Emma's 13 and Stella 3, then a 9 year age difference again followed by a 10 year difference. So I've no idea of the age-gap. Then Darrell's surname started out as Hawkes, morphed into Hawkins and back again to Hawkes. That's just sloppy.
She puts in too many commas but before conjunctions where they're not supposed to be, no apostrophe in Ladies' almost every time it was written, then a missed fullstop, missed a from a sentence, I was used when she was meant to have been.....didn't anybody proofread this ?
I did like what Emma said upon meeting Stella-that was very sweet. However, I'd not recommend this one and I'm just hoping Lifesaver is a lot better presented altogether.
April 12, 2015
I have been reading a new updated version of this book which is due to be republished by the author Louise Voss and I wasn't disappointed.
The story follows Emma who at the yoing age of 19 had to grow up very quickly after her parents were killed in a car accident. Emma not only had to look after herself, she had the sole responsibility for her 9year old sister Stella. Times were tough but one thing always niggled away at Emmas conscience and that was the fact she was adopted. 10 years passed Stella was growing up was this the right time to try and find her birth mother. While on a train journey something happened that made her think and gave her the courage to try and trace her.. Emma didn't even know her birth mothers name let alone how to go about finding her. Should she tell Stella her plans? who would she turn to for
support? her long term boyfriend is unreliable her friends had all moved on over the years.
The story is full of surprises, it has funny elements but covers the tough subject of adoption wonderfully.
The story follows Emma who at the yoing age of 19 had to grow up very quickly after her parents were killed in a car accident. Emma not only had to look after herself, she had the sole responsibility for her 9year old sister Stella. Times were tough but one thing always niggled away at Emmas conscience and that was the fact she was adopted. 10 years passed Stella was growing up was this the right time to try and find her birth mother. While on a train journey something happened that made her think and gave her the courage to try and trace her.. Emma didn't even know her birth mothers name let alone how to go about finding her. Should she tell Stella her plans? who would she turn to for
support? her long term boyfriend is unreliable her friends had all moved on over the years.
The story is full of surprises, it has funny elements but covers the tough subject of adoption wonderfully.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 11, 2016
This was a predictable read about searching for her birthmother. She went about it in the wrong way, but I guess everyone starts their search and then turns for help. I felt the search was unrealistic and there was trauma in the story that was glossed over in an attempt to keep everything shiney & happy.
There was a lot of British terminology that caused me to reflect on what the American version would be.
I'm glad it was a freebie for the Kindle because I know I would not pay for this book had I found it on a shelf.
There was a lot of British terminology that caused me to reflect on what the American version would be.
I'm glad it was a freebie for the Kindle because I know I would not pay for this book had I found it on a shelf.
April 13, 2015
I have been lucky enough to receive an updated version of this book by the author for an honest review. This is a book covering the topic of adoption and a young woman's journey to find her birth mother. Full of humour and emotion and love it was an enjoyable book.
January 15, 2023
Nice story, good plot, very dated (I read the original, I think it's been updated since).
May 15, 2013
At the young age of 19 Emma's adoptive parents die and she is left to bring up her little sister , Stella. Putting everything on hold Emma might as well have become a mother herself.
Previously she had begun a tentative search for her birth mum and given it up as life got in the way. Following a chance meeting on a train with a homeless man and Stella now old enough to live her own life ,prompts her into beginning her search in earnest. Helped by her film making friend Mack she tracks down all the possibilities and starts to work her way through them.
The story depicts her family life, her no good for nothing boyfriend Gavin and the characters she meets throughout the search. The book takes it's title from the much loved children's book of the same name, about a baby bird who when he finds his mum missing feels isolated and abandoned ( a wonderful child's book) and this is how Emma feels deep down.
Fantastic well constructed read covering a topic I have little knowledge or experience of.
Previously she had begun a tentative search for her birth mum and given it up as life got in the way. Following a chance meeting on a train with a homeless man and Stella now old enough to live her own life ,prompts her into beginning her search in earnest. Helped by her film making friend Mack she tracks down all the possibilities and starts to work her way through them.
The story depicts her family life, her no good for nothing boyfriend Gavin and the characters she meets throughout the search. The book takes it's title from the much loved children's book of the same name, about a baby bird who when he finds his mum missing feels isolated and abandoned ( a wonderful child's book) and this is how Emma feels deep down.
Fantastic well constructed read covering a topic I have little knowledge or experience of.
June 5, 2015
I received an ARC from The Book Club,
this is a re release with updates to modernise the book, due to the advancement of internet etc...
I have read Louise's books with her writing partner, but this is the first one of hers I have read by herself and a different genre to the style of writing she has now.
I really enjoyed this book, and found it a good read, the subject of adoption was handled well, and with the way that she was looking for her mother. It tied in beautifully with a children's book.
The characters were well written, there was humour, sadness and good plots within the main story line, which didn't deter, but gave the whole book a more rounded feeling.
The main character really grew within the story and I had much empathy with her.
The ending was well written and I felt the story was complete.
An easy read, with interesting subjects that were tackled extremely well.
I would recommend this book to friends who aren't so keen on reading the darker style that Louise writes in.
this is a re release with updates to modernise the book, due to the advancement of internet etc...
I have read Louise's books with her writing partner, but this is the first one of hers I have read by herself and a different genre to the style of writing she has now.
I really enjoyed this book, and found it a good read, the subject of adoption was handled well, and with the way that she was looking for her mother. It tied in beautifully with a children's book.
The characters were well written, there was humour, sadness and good plots within the main story line, which didn't deter, but gave the whole book a more rounded feeling.
The main character really grew within the story and I had much empathy with her.
The ending was well written and I felt the story was complete.
An easy read, with interesting subjects that were tackled extremely well.
I would recommend this book to friends who aren't so keen on reading the darker style that Louise writes in.
July 14, 2015
Are You My Mother? was originally published in 2011. It has now been republished and updated by the author, Louise Voss.
Emma was adopted as a baby and had a very happy upbringing. When she was nine, her adoptive parents had a baby of their own. Emma loved nothing more than reading to her little sister Stella, especially a book called 'Are You My Mother?' about a lost little baby bird. But tragedy struck 10 years later, as her adoptive parents were killed in a car accident, leaving 19-year-old Emma to bring up her sister. Now that Stella has turned 19 herself, Emma decides to search for her own birth mother, something she has been putting off for years. The book follows Emma's journey as she searches for her mother, love and romance and her own identity.
This is a wonderful book with a lovely story and amazing 'real' characters. It's heart-warming and believable without being overly sentimental. I fell in love with the characters and felt as if I knew Emma by the end of the book. I desperately wanted her to have some happiness and loved the twist at the end.
Emma was adopted as a baby and had a very happy upbringing. When she was nine, her adoptive parents had a baby of their own. Emma loved nothing more than reading to her little sister Stella, especially a book called 'Are You My Mother?' about a lost little baby bird. But tragedy struck 10 years later, as her adoptive parents were killed in a car accident, leaving 19-year-old Emma to bring up her sister. Now that Stella has turned 19 herself, Emma decides to search for her own birth mother, something she has been putting off for years. The book follows Emma's journey as she searches for her mother, love and romance and her own identity.
This is a wonderful book with a lovely story and amazing 'real' characters. It's heart-warming and believable without being overly sentimental. I fell in love with the characters and felt as if I knew Emma by the end of the book. I desperately wanted her to have some happiness and loved the twist at the end.
November 13, 2012
Another whimsical buy for me, during gaps in my favourite authors releases. Hit a chord with me due to the subject matter. Made me laugh and cry in equal measure. Being adopted myself but without the desperate need to find anything I thought that this story might throw some light on why some adopted kids go hunting for their birth 'mothers'.
It did and it didn't...either way it is an enjoyable read and I even then went out an bought the other books by Ms Voss. Nothing matches this book, but I do think it the personal connection that makes this book so good to me.
Just read it and enjoy the surprises!
It did and it didn't...either way it is an enjoyable read and I even then went out an bought the other books by Ms Voss. Nothing matches this book, but I do think it the personal connection that makes this book so good to me.
Just read it and enjoy the surprises!
March 21, 2016
A grerat book. Having tried to read another of Louise Voss's books and found it too dark for me, I was really glad to discover that Her earlier books are not so dark!! Another adoption book, but deftly handled. I really liked the interplay between Emma and Stella, two sisters who lose their parents in a car accident when they are 19 and 9. Emma goes hunting for her birth mother and the story unfolds.... The writing drew me in so much I forgot it was a novel - it felt so real. Great characters and storyline- fab twist - I laughed out loud (not sure that's what Louise Voss had in mind when she wrote it!). Very much recommended even if you like dark storylines!!
October 4, 2015
When I started reading this I thought it was ok. But as I continued, it really picked up. It is written with subtle humour not laugh aloud and you gradually grow to like a character that initially seems pitiful but not lovable. As her own belief in herself grows so does the reader's. The book is not a difficult read and takes a number of unexpected turns which show you never know what you'll find until you look.
May 27, 2015
I was sent a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. This is the first book I have ready by Louise Voss and I loved it.
It's the story of an adopted woman finding herself. At times heartbreaking, at times uplifting but always captivating. I was completely carried away by this book and will definitely be reading more by Louise.
It's the story of an adopted woman finding herself. At times heartbreaking, at times uplifting but always captivating. I was completely carried away by this book and will definitely be reading more by Louise.
June 10, 2015
I received this from THE book club in exchange for an honest review, and I loved it.Its so beautifully written with wonderfully developed characters. I found the theme of adoption really gripping, and although I've no personal experience, the emotions rang true for me. I laughed, I cried, and lost a lot of sleep reading it. Although not my preferred genre I loved it and would recommend.
October 24, 2015
I'm still not entirely sure what I think. I found it hard to get into, and never quite believed in the characters. I think I read to the end because I wanted to know how the story turned out, rather than because I was enjoying it. It was well written, for sure, but pretty cheesy in places.
If I could have, I would have given it 2.5 stars.
If I could have, I would have given it 2.5 stars.
August 18, 2014
Een leuk boek alleen naar het einde toe kabbelde het voor mij iets teveel door. Op een bepaald moment ben je voorbij de 'point of no return' en wil je het ook uitlezen maar eigenlijk was ik er al eerder klaar voor!
February 21, 2016
I thoroughly, utterly and completely loved this book. Mystery and suspense, travelling on the journey with the lead character, and then the unexpected ending. Well written, well structured, interesting characters with interesting stories and substories. Thoroughly enjoyable!
January 15, 2017
Good read with unexpected twists
I haven't read Louise Voss before but will definitely be reading more. The relationship between the two sisters works really well and you feel empathy with both.
I haven't read Louise Voss before but will definitely be reading more. The relationship between the two sisters works really well and you feel empathy with both.
May 22, 2011
Enjoyable story - with plenty of sad moments - about an adopted woman's search for her birth mother.Strong believable characters though some of the situations were not entirely realistic.
April 6, 2012
Couldn't get into this book. Story started entirely too slow.
November 29, 2012
Gelezen in het Nederlands "ben jij mijn moeder?"
Een aardig boek om even tussen door te lezen.
Een aardig boek om even tussen door te lezen.
January 19, 2016
One of those books you just have to finish...BUT...it just did not meet my expectations.
February 24, 2016
Enjoyable standard chick lit with an adoption twist!
May 25, 2016
This book was an easy, connective read that I thoroughly enjoyed.
April 28, 2016
Engaging
At first I wasn't sure where the book was going but it drew me in and then I couldn't put it down.
At first I wasn't sure where the book was going but it drew me in and then I couldn't put it down.
February 7, 2012
Not a bad book, but a little predictable.
May 1, 2017
I enjoyed this more than I expected - this type of family story is not normally my thing, but it held my interest although I think it is 100 pages too long. The story of Emma whose adoptive parents died in a car crash when she is 19, leaving her to bring up a 10 year old sister who was born to those parents when she was 10. She is now 29 and a event on the Tube causes her to evaluate her position and think of searching for her birth mother. Well written.
dnfs
April 17, 2019DNF 2 April 19
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews