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The End: The Human Experience Of Death
We sat around and on the bed, laughing and joking as if this was a typical family gathering. The shrunken form of our dying grandmother lay on the bed, breathing fast and shallow, her once-bright eyes half closed and sunken in their sockets. To some it might have seemed disrespectful to be treating her as part of the furniture as she took what were her very last breaths on this earth. But to us, it seemed almost normal that we should carry on being her boisterous, jovial grandchildren, filling her ears with the sounds of normality as she slipped away.
Looking back on that experience, Bianca Nogrady realised she had so many questions. Was her grandmother in pain? Could she hear them? Did she know they were there? Was she aware of what was happening to her? What was she experiencing as the spark of life that had sustained her for 87 years finally flickered out?
We know so much about birth - generations of women have shared their experiences with their sisters, daughters and grand-daughters, medicine has exhaustively explored and documented every possible angle of birth, and it is a joyous moment that is shared with friends and family.
But at the other end of a life, death is hidden, taboo, mysterious, fearful, rarely shared and often a lonely, dark book-end. Death will come to all of us - it is one of few experiences that unites every single being on the planet. But we don't talk about it, we try not to think about it and anyone who breaks these unspoken taboos is viewed as being unnecessarily morbid. Yet many who have been present at the death of a loved one talk of it as being a gift, they have taken part in a profound moment.
The End is an exploration of that experience, exploring the human experience of death from every angle - the spiritual, the historical, the physical, the metaphysical; from the perspective of those who have witnessed it, those who face it, and those who have somehow stepped back from it.
The End investigates an experience common to every single one of us and does so in a way that is engaging, compelling, a bit funny and a bit quirky in places, heartbreaking in others, but most of all fascinating.
The End provides a different framework through which to view death instead of the fear and mystery that so often shrouds this incredibly important moment of life.
Looking back on that experience, Bianca Nogrady realised she had so many questions. Was her grandmother in pain? Could she hear them? Did she know they were there? Was she aware of what was happening to her? What was she experiencing as the spark of life that had sustained her for 87 years finally flickered out?
We know so much about birth - generations of women have shared their experiences with their sisters, daughters and grand-daughters, medicine has exhaustively explored and documented every possible angle of birth, and it is a joyous moment that is shared with friends and family.
But at the other end of a life, death is hidden, taboo, mysterious, fearful, rarely shared and often a lonely, dark book-end. Death will come to all of us - it is one of few experiences that unites every single being on the planet. But we don't talk about it, we try not to think about it and anyone who breaks these unspoken taboos is viewed as being unnecessarily morbid. Yet many who have been present at the death of a loved one talk of it as being a gift, they have taken part in a profound moment.
The End is an exploration of that experience, exploring the human experience of death from every angle - the spiritual, the historical, the physical, the metaphysical; from the perspective of those who have witnessed it, those who face it, and those who have somehow stepped back from it.
The End investigates an experience common to every single one of us and does so in a way that is engaging, compelling, a bit funny and a bit quirky in places, heartbreaking in others, but most of all fascinating.
The End provides a different framework through which to view death instead of the fear and mystery that so often shrouds this incredibly important moment of life.
272 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2013
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111 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
April 13, 2014
‘In seeking to understand death, we are seeking to understand life.’
Bianca Nogrady, an accomplished science journalist, began this book partly as a quest to try to find answers she had to some questions about her grandmother’s experience of death. Ms Nogrady’s investigation has led her to investigate culture, ethics, history, medicine, philosophy and science. Her assumption is that the more we know about death and the process of dying, the less we will have to fear from it. The question ‘Why do we have to die?’ is one which Ms Nogrady sees as having two parts: ‘Why can’t we live forever?’ and ‘Why don’t we live forever?’
‘It would be easy if we could pinpoint a single, universal moment that delineates the point of transition between life and death, but the reality is quite the opposite.’
The book examines some of the myths associated with popular ideas about death, includes some accounts from those who returned from the brink of death, and notes that there can be no firsthand experience of death. One of the big challenges is defining death, which Ms Nogrady illustrates by recounting the ancient parable of how six blind men each have different experiences of their encounter with an elephant. One elephant, six very different experiences. Medical advances, especially in the field of intensive care, over the past one hundred and fifty years have complicated the business of dying by altering the parameters seen as defining life. Death is better described as a process than as an event.
‘In modern medicine, death is the enemy, and if a patient dies it’s tantamount to failure.’
Ms Nogrady explains complex processes (such as whole brain death versus brain stem death, and the importance of each) clearly. The issues around defining death now have a medico-legal significance that can complicate an individual’s choices and preferences immeasurably.
Thinking about death is, for many of us, difficult. We have our own notions about what constitutes ‘a good death’, our own beliefs about what will happen afterwards. In this book, Ms Nogrady explores our understanding of death from a number of different aspects, including opinions from medical experts, from those who have survived near-death experiences, from those who counsel and support the dying and their families. It’s a well written book which provides both a lot of worthwhile information and plenty of food for thought. I’m glad I read it.
‘This book began partly as a quest to find answers to the questions I had about my nan’s experience of death. At the end of this process, I believe I have found some of those answers.’
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
Bianca Nogrady, an accomplished science journalist, began this book partly as a quest to try to find answers she had to some questions about her grandmother’s experience of death. Ms Nogrady’s investigation has led her to investigate culture, ethics, history, medicine, philosophy and science. Her assumption is that the more we know about death and the process of dying, the less we will have to fear from it. The question ‘Why do we have to die?’ is one which Ms Nogrady sees as having two parts: ‘Why can’t we live forever?’ and ‘Why don’t we live forever?’
‘It would be easy if we could pinpoint a single, universal moment that delineates the point of transition between life and death, but the reality is quite the opposite.’
The book examines some of the myths associated with popular ideas about death, includes some accounts from those who returned from the brink of death, and notes that there can be no firsthand experience of death. One of the big challenges is defining death, which Ms Nogrady illustrates by recounting the ancient parable of how six blind men each have different experiences of their encounter with an elephant. One elephant, six very different experiences. Medical advances, especially in the field of intensive care, over the past one hundred and fifty years have complicated the business of dying by altering the parameters seen as defining life. Death is better described as a process than as an event.
‘In modern medicine, death is the enemy, and if a patient dies it’s tantamount to failure.’
Ms Nogrady explains complex processes (such as whole brain death versus brain stem death, and the importance of each) clearly. The issues around defining death now have a medico-legal significance that can complicate an individual’s choices and preferences immeasurably.
Thinking about death is, for many of us, difficult. We have our own notions about what constitutes ‘a good death’, our own beliefs about what will happen afterwards. In this book, Ms Nogrady explores our understanding of death from a number of different aspects, including opinions from medical experts, from those who have survived near-death experiences, from those who counsel and support the dying and their families. It’s a well written book which provides both a lot of worthwhile information and plenty of food for thought. I’m glad I read it.
‘This book began partly as a quest to find answers to the questions I had about my nan’s experience of death. At the end of this process, I believe I have found some of those answers.’
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
December 2, 2013
I thought this book was an informative read. Although it didn't provide me with the sense of being ok with death, it did give me some new insights on what death means and how end of life can be approached. It seemed to me as if this was a therapeutic exercise for the author, and I can certainly appreciate that conducting the research that assisted with the writing of this book, would provide the person in question with some peace, clarity and hopefulness. I am definitely glad that I have read this book, but, I wouldn't say that doing so has 'changed the way I think about death forever', as the enticing blurb on the back cover promises. Perhaps, in my attempt to deal with the fact this life is finite, I convinced myself that the book will provide all the answers and allow me to walk away perfectly content with new insights and learnings.
June 7, 2017
Really enjoyed this book. An exploration of the physiology of the death process, but also touched on spiritual aspects in a sensitive, non-judgemental manner. If you have a terminal illness or are caring for someone who is terminally ill, I think you'll find this book helpful.
June 24, 2013
I found this to be an incredibly well rounded insight into the human experience of death.
It seems to me that there is much to consider when faced with the imminent end of one's life, and in considering how one would like this to play out one provides oneself and one's loved ones with the opportunity to a "good", better or more comforting death than those who shy away such realities.
Nogrady, in her book, demonstrates that death is a gift to those being left behind, a gift of insight, love, compassion and understanding. She demonstrates that there is an opportunity to face shared fears, confusions and concerns about this experience we will all experience at some stage.
Nogrady does not gloss over the agony of terminal illness for those she interviewed for her book and she provides multi-faith views and philosophies, to show how people reconcile death from a cultural perspective.
I enjoyed reading this book a great deal.
It seems to me that there is much to consider when faced with the imminent end of one's life, and in considering how one would like this to play out one provides oneself and one's loved ones with the opportunity to a "good", better or more comforting death than those who shy away such realities.
Nogrady, in her book, demonstrates that death is a gift to those being left behind, a gift of insight, love, compassion and understanding. She demonstrates that there is an opportunity to face shared fears, confusions and concerns about this experience we will all experience at some stage.
Nogrady does not gloss over the agony of terminal illness for those she interviewed for her book and she provides multi-faith views and philosophies, to show how people reconcile death from a cultural perspective.
I enjoyed reading this book a great deal.
August 12, 2013
Insightful and well written.
A quote on the back described it as 'poignant' and yeah, definitely. What I learnt from this book will definitely carry on in my thoughts and hold a weight to to how I deal with life. It provides an immense context for life, in regarding death as definite with a sense of serenity that accommodates gradual comprehension.
A quote on the back described it as 'poignant' and yeah, definitely. What I learnt from this book will definitely carry on in my thoughts and hold a weight to to how I deal with life. It provides an immense context for life, in regarding death as definite with a sense of serenity that accommodates gradual comprehension.
November 16, 2014
Fascinating. I particularly liked that she addressed death from several different perspectives starting with the most clinical medical angle then moving to the cultural and ending with the spiritual perspective that we bring to the act of dying.
August 29, 2013
Interesting book on a topic that is taboo in most cultures
September 18, 2019
a good introductory read on death, its taboos, some scientific background etc. -- not as heavy a read as i expected it to be. also made me mildly less afraid of dying (or realising i just fear a painful/slow death + not finishing what i need to before dying lol)
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November 30, 2025DNF
June 25, 2014
Quite liked this book, even though it was very non-fiction and did that thing that I hate it when non-fiction authors do, which is quote some authority on a subject like a university lecturer, but they do this within context but at the same time it seems superfulous or like the author doesn't want to express their own thoughts or feelings. That might not make sense to anyone else, but that's okay, as these are really just 'study' notes for my own benefit. 4 stars is perhaps a tad generous, maybe 3.5 due to the author being too divorced from the text to make it a personal read. Yet surprsingly it did make me cry many times. But this year has been a year of loss for me, so it doesn't take much to remind me of this, and also I am one of those relatively rare males that cries with the maximum amount of frequency in response to pathos, that still lacks a diagnosis to see me hospitalised. And that is all. I would recommend it for people that like reading about this subject matter, or vague notions of philosophical content etc...
March 18, 2018
I really enjoyed this book. Bianca Nogrady has written it with such a beautiful sense of intrigue. Everything is presented thoughtfully and respectfully. So much to take in, though I have left this book with a feeling of hope. Bianca has written a beautiful book. I personally found so much to take away with me. "Death is a one-way journey - the only one we truly walk alone". And I agree with Bianca "death is what we make of it.".
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews