Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus

by Allison Hawn

Has being late to work due to dancing clowns ever been a problem for you? Have you ever had to defend yourself against a giant iguana? Does the overture to The Music Man make you violently twitch? In Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus readers are immersed into what it would be like to live every day as if a herd of ballerinas were chasing you, without the inconvenience of actually having to run.

This collection of truly bizarre short stories taken from the author, Allison Hawn’s, life takes one across the world and into the strangest crevices of civilization. The lessons learned through her adventures might very well save the reader if they too ever have to face birthing a cow, calming distraught technical support or death by furniture.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Short Stories, Memoir, Comedy, Biography

142 pages, Paperback

First published May 6, 2013

About the author

Allison Hawn was born in Idaho and has spent her life obtaining adventures. The daughter of a musician, she was
brought up all over the United States with occasional dalliances into foreign lands. She holds a degree in psychology from Northwest Nazarene University in Nampa, Idaho, where she also had a weekly humor column with a small time newspaper "The Crusader." She is also the author of two collections of short, bizarre, humorous stories titled "Life is a
Circus Run by a Platypus" and "Life is a Pirate Ship Run by a Velociraptor." She currently resides in Spokane, Washington, where she works with the homeless, domestic violence victims, and other disenfranchised populations as a case manager, but calls a myriad of locations home.

Reviews

[Melki · Rating 4 out of 5]

My circus train pulls through the night
Full of lions and trapeze artists
I'm done with elephants and clowns
I want to run away and join the office
Mike Doughty

I was either going to go with that one, or the much more famous "Damn everything but the circus." by Corita Kent...which led to yet another quotation - "Love the moment and the energy of the moment will spread beyond all boundaries."

Now THAT one seems particularly appropriate, because for one so young, Allison has had a lot of strange moments in her life, and weird as they may have been, I expect she loved every one of them. AND, luckily for us, she has chosen to share these moments in a series of comic essays.

She succinctly describes the horrors of pet sitting:
Five hours later I came back to find... well... imagine that instead of using bullets, the soldiers in the Civil War had fought with feces.

The horrors of working in the fast food industry:
...I spent my days wearing a shirt advertising "Five dollar foot-longs." as my blonde ponytail stuck out behind a visor, while selling sandwiches mostly to a group of people whose teeth to tattoo ratio was not in their favor.

The horrors of clowns:
The leader clown turned to me, "Oh hell, you're not afraid of clowns, are you?" ...the lecture ensued. Had I all of my wits about me, or at least some still in the same county, I would have mentioned that being yelled at and lectured by a clown was not really helping the "Don't be afraid of clowns" point.

Each delightful essay concludes with morals, or lessons learned, or "flower petals of knowledge" to be "plucked from the stem" of experience, as the author calls 'em.

Examples?

-There is such a thing as a dumb question.

-Just because someone is employed by a school does not mean that they are intelligent.

-The headaches caused by a small, screaming child can eventually be squelched with a glass of wine after work.

But getting back to that first quotation...should you join the circus or the office? I think Allison has proven that one can be just as strange and wonderful as the other.

[Simon Okill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus by Allison Hawn is a wonderful humorous anecdotal collection of the author's life. I laughed out loud at her wise-crack punch-lines that followed every misfortune she had to endure and have come to the conclusion the author is either quite mad, like me, or actually lives in a circus run by a platypus.
Every short chapter bounces off the page right into the reader's face insisting on coercing a wide smile with comments such as - "faster than Jell-O flung by a monkey on crack". The author's love for animals, except cows, iguanas, large dogs, even larger cats to name a few, is used to brilliant effect to describe one hilarious scene after another. And us humans are also up for grabs in the author's no-holds-barred continual assault at our many failings. I especially laughed at one character who complained to the police that his stash of pot had been stolen. DUH!!!!
Well done to Allison Hawn for revealing her own life in such a manner that this reader can only describe as brave beyond climbing Mount Everest with a team of kangaroos.
FIVE STARS for this humorous memoir and highly recommended.

[Darrin Mason · Rating 5 out of 5]

In life, we have two choices. We either laugh or cry. Allison Hawn has chosen to laugh and not only does she laugh, she makes us laugh too with this book of very short stories that pokes fun at many of the lemons life seems to have thrown her way. It is well written and edited and each story stands on its own for those who wish to nibble on the sweet succulent whole. They are also well-connected by Allison's straight-to-the-point telling of a story, not to mention her blunt sense-of-humor and fast as lightning wit, and go down well as a whole for those who simply cannot stop at one. And believe me, you'll find it hard to stop at one. Five stars, and a hell of a lot of laughs. PS Being an artistic type, I tend to first judge a book by its cover. This book deserves an extra star for its cover which is one of the better ones, making it SIX stars and a hell of a lot of laughs.

[Kevin Patrick · Rating 2 out of 5]

I tried very hard to like this book. It has one of the highest ratings here of any of the books on my shelves so I thought for sure that I would fall instantly in love. I was very wrong.

Perhaps it's because I completed the book in about three sittings but I was so tired by it within the first few chapters. The humor is in no way smart or subtle. The book is full of overt exaggerations and there is absolutely no finesse in Allison's writing. I found myself rolling my eyes continually at her synonyms and similes and was both bored and annoyed by these stories that she tries to make us believe are all true.

I have a sincere appreciation for smart, witty writing. The reviews on here led me to believe that Allison's work was at the top of that category. Unfortunately, this work really fell short in my opinion. I know this is her first published work but I think she could really focus her humor and writing style by paying attention to authors like Christopher Moore, Steve Martin, etc. Humor is much more appreciated and palatable when it is delivered in a subtle, honest manner.

Also, she misspells the word "onomatopoeia" in the book TWICE. Give me a break.Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus

[Andy Peloquin · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book chronicles some of the ridiculous--and almost unbelievable-- things that have happened to this author in her lifetime. It explains the benefits of working with pothead idiots, provides sage advice on why you should never pet-sit for anyone ever, tells you why having children is about as wise as placing your foot beneath a steam-roller, and gives great reasons why Subway is one of the greatest places to work if you want to be exposed to some pretty god-awful people. Plus, there's stories in there too…

Surprisingly, there are actually morals to the stories she tells, though they're definitely odd takeaways that will have you questioning your sanity as you read.

It's an absolutely hilarious read, and worth every penny. It's hard to believe so much s*** has happened to one person, but that's what makes it so much fun!

[John Logsdon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think if I were to write up a series of stories about my life, they’d pale in comparison to Allison Hawn’s. She has a way of making even the scariest (a 104+ degree temperature comes to mind!) moments quite humorous, though many of her bizarre tales are humorous on their own.

I think my favorite moment was when one of her not-so-bright college dorm mates explained that she had just peed green and Allison replied that the aliens must have gotten to her! So cruel. So mischievous. So…damn…funny.

If you’re into reading Dave Barry style articles, “Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus” is for you.

[Thom Stark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus is a very funny book. Rib-ticklingly, laugh-out-loud, milk-coming-out-of-your-nose, doubled-up-with-laughter funny.

Allison Hawn's collection of ... essays? Anecdotes? Inventions, perhaps? Anyway, Hawn's collection of prose pieces are, she claims, rooted in her own, real experiences. If that's true, not only has she already lived an unusually-rich existence for such a young person, but she's clearly been taking notes along the way.

Whether they're all true or not, Hawn's stories are entertainingly madcap, each in its own way. Taken together, they create an experience that can, I think, fairly be called "rollicking."

Treat yourself. Visit Allison Hawn's Circus. It may not change your life ... but I guarantee it will improve your mood!

[Ronna · Rating 1 out of 5]

Terrible book. The anecdotes are not particularly "hilarious", and the author takes every opportunity to create a complicated simile and pull and stretch it beyond recognition. It's like someone told her she was a good writer in grade 6 and never changed her style. It's as hairy as a gorilla on steroids and PCOS who never waxed and is Italian and needs fur to stay warm at night. That's the quality of the writing. Also, no one either told her about punctuation or edited the book. Glad I paid less than 2 dollars for it.

[Lauren Gallucci · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have never written a full review for a book, but this one was so disappointing, I felt I should. I found it on a Goodreads list of highly rated books, and got it on a whim. I don't know what everyone else sees in this book, but I couldn't finish it. The events she describes in each chapter are funny, but if I had to read one more simile, I was going to go crazy "like Charlie Sheen after a falling out with his dealer." It just didn't work for me.

[Beverly Diehl · Rating 1 out of 5]

Humor is a very subjective thing. I really, really wanted to like or love this book, but it exhausted me. Soooo many similes, and one liner jokes, that it felt harder to follow the gist of the stories than a three-legged dog with casts on two of his legs and a thorn in the other paw chasing a bionic cat on crack which had been turbo-charged. That's about the level of them; they felt convoluted and too complicated. Way too many quips about crack and steroids and there was also some trans-shaming/body-shaming that was not cool.

I did laugh once or twice, and smiled a few times, but in a collection of 41 stories, I wanted to be more amused than annoyed, at least once per chapter, and that didn't happen for me. YMMV.

[John Hartnett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Allison Hawn is a very funny writer with a gift for storytelling. Her world is one most of us are familiar with: working minimum wage jobs, dealing with the people you meet while working in minimum wage jobs, navigating friendships and family situations, altercations with select members of the animal kingdom, surviving college and being selected to play linebacker for the school's intramural female football team, The Bruisers. Ok, maybe not that last one.

Ms. Hawn's endearing personality shines through much of her work. Often self deprecating, she is not one to put herself up on a pedestal to look down at the rest of the world. In many of her pieces, she's right there clamoring and stumbling along with the rest of us and writing from that vantage point is where Ms. Hawn excels.

Here's an example:

I have held some pretty awesome jobs in my life thus far. I’ve helped train horses, worked at a small time newspaper and was a lighting technician for professional concerts. On the other end of that spectrum, I have also held jobs that smelled of burning dough, grease and shame.

There are a many talented independent authors out there who deserve an audience. Ms. Hawn is one of them. Life is a Circus Run By a Platypus is a light hearted, fun and entertaining read. Highly recommended.

[Wade White · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you ever been scolded by an angry clown? Owned a car that died on you before you even got to drive it? Been stampeded by a herd of tiny ballerinas? Well, it's all happened to Allison Hawn. Luckily for all of us, she lived to tell these tales. And they're hilarious. From start to finish, this book is packed with amusing stories and outrageous situations. Allison has that coveted talent for taking the everyday weirdness of life and telling it in a way that will make you laugh until you cry—and then start laughing again.

The book is presented in forty-one not necessarily chronological chapters. You can read it all in one sitting, or skip around and re-visit your favourite stories again and again (might I recommended "Chapter 34: Dance Like Everyone is Watching"?). Also, each chapter ends with at least one life lesson (presuming you consider things like "Some animals need medication for their personality disorders" a life lesson; I do now). Great for an afternoon at the beach or short snippets each day on the train ride to and from work (as long as you don't mind people staring at you, because this is not a book you can read silently and so they will be staring).

I highly recommend this book. Four-and-a-half stars. Allison Hawn is now on my "purchase anything by this author" list.

[E.J. Lamprey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was thoroughly glum and out of sorts when I picked this book from the 5 waiting to be read, and in 15 minutes I was laughing out loud for the third time. In 30 minutes I was reading her blog and following her on Twitter.

Allison has a knack for anecdotes, and this book is like having a really funny email buddy who richochets through life, wryly telling you the latest zany misadventure. The only reason I don't give a 5* rating (apart from the fact that I hardly ever give 5* ratings) was that it is a hard book to gulp down because it zigs and zags all over the place. But if you commute, or occasionally have to hurry-up-then-wait somewhere, do yourself a favour, have this book on your Kindle. You'll thank me. I'm halfway through and am reluctantly putting it aside for now, because I have a life to run and those other 4 books to read (and one to write) but I've been delighted so far, and I've peeked ahead and they're all good. I'm simply not going to gulp them down, I'm enjoying them too much. I hope finishing the book will take MONTHS but the review shouldn't have to wait that long. What I have read so far is more than worth the price of admission.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

I do think if Allison and I met in person we could be friends. As difficult to believe as it sounds, I have had many life experiences similar to hers.

She has a knack for storytelling but in this book I think she tries too hard. Her exaggeration for synonyms or descriptive word picture painting is over the top. Her stories could get a humorous point across without the exaggeration.

I would have enjoyed the book more if it was shorter and better organized. As is, it is a collection of anecdotes bouncing back and forth across her lifetime. I would have preferred to see the stories grouped together, either by time of life or by situations, such as school, work, family, etc.

[Paul (Life In The Slow Lane) · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was funny, like a cactus enema.

I like a good comedy story. This book is a collection of, what seems to be, blog posts. I laughed once at the first blog, then it just got boringly repetitive. The only tool in this comedian's toolbox is exaggerated simile: It was hypnotizing, like watching an infomercial at three in the morning for one of those ladders that can bend into ninety-five different positions.

If you're looking for good comedy, maybe try one of David Sedaris' books or Spike Milligan if you like slapstick. I suffered through 70% of this authors stories, after which, the similes just bugged me too much.

[Jillian · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is my first review, but I felt so strongly about this book that I had to write something. I was really surprised by how much I disliked the book, given all of the positive reviews on here.

I really didn't enjoy reading this book, but I have a thing about getting closure with books, so I finish pretty much every book that I start. Overall, I didn't find her stories that funny. I think I laughed out loud at one sentence in the entire book.

The book is ridiculously repetitive, both in terms of structure and of the stories themselves. She'll describe the same scenario multiple times, as if you haven't already read about it (e.g. where she went to college, a specific job she held or person she worked with). There are "lessons" at the end of each chapter, which I found grating, and she uses more (very painfully "creative") similes than I could have thought possible.

I noticed a few spelling and grammatical errors, which always drives me crazy (don't copy editors still exist?), and she mis-used a few phrases, like "bold faced lie." She was also somewhat inconsistent in a couple of her stories: one of them started with her stating that she's not an out of the box thinker, and the entire story proceeded to describe a scenario in which she thought completely outside of the box.

[Katrina Cope · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are after a book full of laughs and one-liners, this is the book for you. Ms Hawn has spent the time to write about hilarious moments of her life, or maybe not so hilarious but she has seen the funny side.
Many of the moments actually reminded me of weird and wacky things that happened to me when I was growing up.

If Ms Hawn were able to stand in front of an audience, judging from this book she would make a good stand up comedian. I did have a little trouble relating to some comedy due to my living location, but unlike stand up comedians, the author did not have the luxury of changing the one-liners to suit the location in which it was being read.

If you are after a 'story' as such then this book would not be for you, however I would definitely recommend it if you need a good laugh.

[Carla Hanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Experience builds character. In Allison Hawn’s original memoir, Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus, positive perspectives on her experiences teach her readers valuable life lessons. Mundane jobs like working at Subway or managing events at a conference center even have relevance when perceived through Hawn’s humanist eyes. She sees people for their contributions in light of their failures and shares the whimsical tales with colorful humor.

I enjoyed getting to know Ms. Hawn through her memoir. I like her and appreciate her wit. I highly recommend reading a few tales with friends during book club and sharing fun times with each other.

I look forward to reading her next installment. What weapons will she learn to shoot next?

[E.N. McNamara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus, is a collection of stories about the trials and tribulations of a well intentioned young woman, who is a magnet for unusual situations and people. Allison Hawn writes with flair, sharing her adventures of small town college life (I especially liked the mosh pit story), rotten fast-food jobs, and the dark underbelly of Spokane WA, where she works with at-risk youth.

Short column style chapters make this book and easy read for a busy person on the go.

Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus would be a great gift for the high school graduate, ready to start out on their own adventure!

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came across this book quite by accident. I have a thing for Platypus' so since this book was a freebie I decided to give it a try. I was not disappointed. Allison Hawn give glimpses into her life through experiences that are relatable to the reader. Then at the end of the chapter, the chapters are very short, she gives 1-3 lessons learned.
I found myself laughing out loud as I cruised through the book. This is a book that I will go back too when I need a lift. The metaphors that she uses are spot on and hilarious. Maybe I just relate very well to Allison's experiences.

I liked the book so much that I bought her other one.

[B.S. Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. What a book! I have always enjoyed books with variety- and this one has it. Ms. Hawn has flair for telling a story so that it's funny and keeps you interested. When I was reading this book, my husband was attempting to talk to me, and I never heard a word he said- I was that captivated by this book! (Needless to say, he was NOT a happy camper) I highly suggest reading this book, as it is one you can read over and over again. It will lift your spirits, and some of the stories will even make you realize that maybe you don't have it so bad! :)

[Miriam Stern · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd like to give Ms. Hawn a very well deserved round of applause! This book is a quirky, witty read with "laugh out loud" moments. Too often you wonder if your life could be made into a book. This is what "Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus" is basically about. Of course, the author's stories are die hard funny and vastly entertaining. From cats that pounce on you while you shower to man-turned-velociraptor for a meal, it is definitely a book that showcases how funny life can be and how every situation can be turned into a laugh. Kudos!

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book of stories was a great find. We can all use a little humor in our lives today, and that’s what this author gives us. This is a well written, well edited debut. I love the end of each story where Miss Hawn has a list of tidbits of information learned. Very clever and entertaining. I look forward to reading more by this wonderful author. Rebecca Scarberry (@Scarberryfields on Twitter)

[Marika Germanis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection of stories is fantastic for several reasons. The humor is unforgettable and I was constantly laughing out loud, to the confusion of the people who happened to be in the vicinity. Well done! She had me in stitches throughout the book.

[Bookfairy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entertaining, funny, I'd recommend it for a laugh and light reading, but very disapointed with the editing, if indeed there was any. Seemed like a collection of blogs, and it seems she has a blog, so perhaps that is what this was.

[Amanda Farina · Rating 1 out of 5]

A disappointing read. Not funny, not good writing, and not what the description promised. I'm really baffled by the stars it has. We read it in book club and we all found the writing style annoying and found little to laugh at. Skip it!

[Othen Cummings · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been interested in this ever since I noticed the cover! It didn't disappoint either! An incredibly awesome read!

[deborah trout · Rating 5 out of 5]

Needed this.

This book is great for the health, since laughter is good for us. Don't watch the news, read this instead; your blood pressure will thank you.

[ECH · Rating 2 out of 5]

Started off thinking it was a bit mean spirited but funny. Quit reading after a bad trans joke. It's not funny anymore.

[Bill Naylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Platypus has landed.


“Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus,” is an invitation by author Allison Hawn
to accompany her on a roller coaster ride as she revisits episodes of in her life, which have been scary, frightening, annoying, life enhancing and plain boring. Traumatised by her experiences as a child in a cow-birthing shed. And as a youth in a competition with her friends, watching the film Titanic, and attempting to drink the equivalent amount of water that surrounded the ill-fated ocean liner without visiting the bathroom.
She seamlessly moves from story to story, like a flyer on a trapeze, with no sign of a safety net. Her take on everything, real and imagined, is hilariously descriptive, and self-deprecating. Each page bursting to the seams with one-liners. Re-read it and you’ll get twice as many laughs. The meaning of life has been revealed. “Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus.”