A.D.D. & Romance: Finding Fulfillment in Love, Sex & Relationships

by Jonathan Scott Halverstadt

In A.D.D. and Romance , licensed therapist Jonathan Scott Halverstadt looks at how attention deficit disorder can damage romantic relationships when partners do not take time, or do not know how, to address this unique problem. The book aims to give people with A.D.D. and their partners the tools they need to build and sustain a more satisfying and fulfilling relationship.

Genres: Self Help, Adhd, Nonfiction

241 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 1998

Reviews

[Andrew · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reader, proceed with caution.
The factual information is eye opening and very well explained if you’re new to ADHD or even for someone that after three years of having been diagnosed and done extensive research. That part of the book, 10/10.

My main criticism is that the couple examples in this book were quite unimaginative. The characters were god-fearing, cis-gendered, heterosexual, monogamous, white presenting, sexist, boomer, and parents. It was quite limited in scope. Personally, I am the opposite of all of these things. It was all very distracting since it was poor story telling.

The SWEETHEART acronym presented at the end to summarize provided no value. It’s an extremely long acronym, surprised it was created by a professional in the field that has ADHD himself.

The last chapter contains a list of 50 ridiculous ways to surprise your partner and be more intimate. Take a shot for every time the author mentioned “love notes”. A minimum of three times per chapter and was represented in three different list items. While my husband and I do leave each other love notes every now and then, it won’t save our marriage and neither “will feeding each other Chinese takeout in a bathtub”. This is real life, not a silly romcom.

[Debbie Carlson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is seriously one of the best books I've ever read on relationships! In the last few years my husband and I read a lot of marriage books and they all failed to help us, in fact they caused more problems then they helped. This is simply because my husband was just diagnosed with adult ADD and looking back, he only felt more incapable of doing all that those other books were suggesting. This book is well organized and written by a man with ADD, he wanted to make sure that the ADD mind would not get distracted. As someone without ADD, I devoured this book in one afternoon. The author succinctly describes my feelings to a T and helps me to understand where my husband is coming from. Then he gives step by step directions on activities and procedures to make a relationship more fulfilling. I'm feeling very hopeful!

[Danita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don't let the title fool you. It really isn't about romance as it is about communication and understanding. I wish I knew about this book 20 years ago. Excellent read if you are dating, married or even separated from someone who has ADD.

[Sarede Switzer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book.

[Monica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a FANTASTIC and helpful book, especially relevant because I'm in a relationship with someone who has treated, but still fairly extreme, ADHD as an adult. There were so many behaviors and patterns in my current relationship that this book helped to be better understand and either appreciate or question while I was reading. It also gave me immensely helpful insight into my previous relationship with some living with ADHD. The first and most important bit of information, for this and all other mental/physical health issues is to find a team of professionals who know their stuff about your own stuff - and follow their advice about treatment and medication. Second - be patient, this is affecting all of life and it's pretty big stuff, so remember that and take the time and space needed to really address the things that are happening.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is living with ADHD, or in any kind of a romantic relationship with someone with ADHD. I will be re-reading this book yearly as a reminder of the challenges and the benefits to my relationship with my partner.

[Lily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Skimmed most of this book. Made me feel a lot more functional than I thought I was.

Lots of stories, and not as much helpful or educational insights about what to expect from ADHD partners or how to cope.