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Melissa Explains It All: Tales from My Abnormally Normal Life
Melissa Joan Hart explained it all-from dating to bullies-in her groundbreaking role as Clarissa Darling on Clarissa Explains It All. She cast a spell on millions more viewers as Sabrina, the Teenage Witch. Now, in Melissa Explains It All, Melissa tells the frank and funny behind-the-scenes stories from her extraordinary past and her refreshingly normal present.Melissa has been entertaining audiences most of her life; when there were no girls named Melissa on her favorite show, the forceful four year old decided she'd get on television her way. From that moment on, Melissa has shown a singular determination and focus-whether it's for booking three national commercials so her dad would build her a tree house or for nailing the audition for Clarissa.From her first commercial to her current starring role in ABC Family's hit Melissa and Joey, Hart never let fame go to her head. She always had one foot in Hollywood and one foot in reality-and still does. Melissa makes us laugh along with her as she talks appearances in shows like Saturday Night Live and The Equalizer --auditioning for Punky Brewster and Clarissa--her early Broadway days--wacky parties she's thrown and attended-- the actors who influenced her and whom she befriended, worked with and competed against --her experiences both on and off-set-with Sabrina's Salem the Cat and Elvis the Alligator on Clarissa --how she met the love of her life at the Kentucky Derby Melissa Joan Hart explains all that she's learned along the way-what's kept her grounded, normal and working when others have not been so fortunate-and that she's the approachable, hilarious girl-next-door her fans have always thought she'd be.
288 pages, ebook
First published January 1, 2013
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4232 people want to read
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July 11, 2015
Melissa called this book "tales from my abnormally normal life" - so why then she tried to beef it out with allusions to as much rebellious behaviour as she could is beyond me. She glosses over Clarissa & Sabrina, the two characters she's best known for. There are no backstage secrets (unless you wanted to know that there were 7 real life Salem cats and 2 fake ones, or that the actress who played Zelda Spellman used to flash her "ta-ta's" at Melissa for fun). Melissa comes across as incredibly controlling - from describing herself at a very early age, she knew exactly how to shoot commercials and how to stage scenes but nobody would listen to her, she was intuitive and spunky, had an amazing work ethic, always did exactly as she was told, and didn't even get upset when she found out she had been cut from a scene. She was a model child........well, according to her. She also planned her first kiss down to a tee, the same again with losing her virginity, and again with getting drunk on her 21st.
"I often suspect that the reason I'm able to maintain such an untarnished image isn't that I'm such a good girl, but simply because I've never been caught with my pants down, so to speak." Then why waste a memoir alluding to so much "bad" behaviour? She seems to relish in referencing drinking, drugs, sex, tattoos she "couldn't remember", drunken nights, smoking - but never actually tells us what went on. It all comes across as some kind of attempt to remain socially relevant (references to Fifty Shades of Grey, Lady Gaga, Katniss Everdeen, Twitter and Cougar Town)but with a bad-girl twist. She may as well have started the book with "You think you know Clarissa & Sabrina? Well wait until I tell YOU all the bad stuff I did! No really, I did! I did!" okay Melissa. Okay. "As you can tell, I've always liked to take a risk, push my limits, and feel some kind of immediate gratification from it all." Come off it Melissa - you took drugs at a party, did a rude photo shoot and now you're Courtney Love? Seriously.
Melissa has, evidently, always been full of self confidence (which is by no means a bad thing) but this starts to come across as arrogance the more you read. "I tap danced with Dick Van Dyke, I wasn't half bad either"; "I've been told I've missed my calling as as a party planner" "I'm perfectly perfect in every way" (okay, I made the last one up).
Something I don't like is the way she insults other people in the book (James Van Der Beek gets a roasting because he was cast in Clarissa despite her "not liking the look of him" and is then referred to as "James Van Der Blah"). She is also less than complimentary about Drew Barrymore, who she worked with when she was 9 and Drew was 10. She describes Drew as "a contentious, pot-smoking wild child" who used a cuss word she would NEVER have used. She gives sly digs to the Kardashians and Snooki, as if to say she is so much better than them. Macaulay and Kieran Culkin are "brats", and William "Bill" Hurt was "cheap and forgetful" for giving handwritten notes of thanks to cast members after wrapping a play.
I didn't think it was possible to name-drop more than David Gest, but Melissa manages it. She probably mentions every famous person she's ever met, made out with, or acted alongside. Kissed Ryan Reynolds? He gets a mention. Shared a cigarette with Calista Flockhart? Let's mention that too. Had some coincidences with Sarah Michelle Gellar over the years? Throw that in as well. What about tying September 11th in with an Island bash with N*Sync? Sure. Attended a party that Vince Vaughn was at? Yep. Or a smooch with Nick Carter? That too. Bill Murray? He's in there. Adrian Grenier? Best kiss ever, apparently. At one point she states that she is responsible for showing Britney Spears how to escape from a hotel and gain entry anonymously to niteclubs through the back door. Bill Murray's brother (stay with me here) says she has "eyes second only to Elizabeth Taylor".
Chapter 15 is all about how much her husband loves football. And how much she then managed to learn about football. "Aren't you wowed?" No, I'm not. I'm really not.
Chapter 16 is all about the four (yes, only four things in the whole wide world) things that Melissa can not do as well as everyone else. 1.She cannot put on her makeup herself. Oh! But hang on!! Her skin is tight, supple, and easy to maintain. Her hands were so soft when filming Clarissa that the adults used to talk about them. So no real need for makeup. So that's grand.
2.She cannot do her own hair. Oh! But hang on!! She sometimes rips styles from magazines, copies them, and subsequently receives "rave reviews" from her friends. So that's also grand.
3. She cannot dress herself. But...she has people who help her. So that's grand too.
4. She cannot make food. But Melissa!! Why, just two chapters ago you described going hunting a la Katniss Everdeen, shooting five pheasants, and turning them into a fabulous dinner! Weren't you serving up lobster a few pages ago too? But - wait. It's all grand. Why? Because as a result of her never learning how to cook and having to eat out with her family, her boys have "developed their young palates". So that's not only grand, it's like....beneficial.
She goes on for a whole page about how she chooses to fly coach class so that she can save money to put into the boys' 529 plan. Which is commendable. Or it would be, if she didn't follow it up with a sentence about how the boys have a big home, a vacation house, and a playroom with more toys in it than you could believe.
Can you tell she absolutely wrecked my head from about page 75 onwards??
To be honest, the only interesting things I took from reading this were:
1. The actors who played Harvey & Valerie on Sabrina were really dating.
2. The actor who played Mr. Pool on Sabrina, Paul Feig, went on to direct Bridesmaids.
She says that people are always asking her "how did you end up so normal?" - presumably because she's had her head so far up her own arse for the last thirty years that she missed the opportunity to be anything but.
"I often suspect that the reason I'm able to maintain such an untarnished image isn't that I'm such a good girl, but simply because I've never been caught with my pants down, so to speak." Then why waste a memoir alluding to so much "bad" behaviour? She seems to relish in referencing drinking, drugs, sex, tattoos she "couldn't remember", drunken nights, smoking - but never actually tells us what went on. It all comes across as some kind of attempt to remain socially relevant (references to Fifty Shades of Grey, Lady Gaga, Katniss Everdeen, Twitter and Cougar Town)but with a bad-girl twist. She may as well have started the book with "You think you know Clarissa & Sabrina? Well wait until I tell YOU all the bad stuff I did! No really, I did! I did!" okay Melissa. Okay. "As you can tell, I've always liked to take a risk, push my limits, and feel some kind of immediate gratification from it all." Come off it Melissa - you took drugs at a party, did a rude photo shoot and now you're Courtney Love? Seriously.
Melissa has, evidently, always been full of self confidence (which is by no means a bad thing) but this starts to come across as arrogance the more you read. "I tap danced with Dick Van Dyke, I wasn't half bad either"; "I've been told I've missed my calling as as a party planner" "I'm perfectly perfect in every way" (okay, I made the last one up).
Something I don't like is the way she insults other people in the book (James Van Der Beek gets a roasting because he was cast in Clarissa despite her "not liking the look of him" and is then referred to as "James Van Der Blah"). She is also less than complimentary about Drew Barrymore, who she worked with when she was 9 and Drew was 10. She describes Drew as "a contentious, pot-smoking wild child" who used a cuss word she would NEVER have used. She gives sly digs to the Kardashians and Snooki, as if to say she is so much better than them. Macaulay and Kieran Culkin are "brats", and William "Bill" Hurt was "cheap and forgetful" for giving handwritten notes of thanks to cast members after wrapping a play.
I didn't think it was possible to name-drop more than David Gest, but Melissa manages it. She probably mentions every famous person she's ever met, made out with, or acted alongside. Kissed Ryan Reynolds? He gets a mention. Shared a cigarette with Calista Flockhart? Let's mention that too. Had some coincidences with Sarah Michelle Gellar over the years? Throw that in as well. What about tying September 11th in with an Island bash with N*Sync? Sure. Attended a party that Vince Vaughn was at? Yep. Or a smooch with Nick Carter? That too. Bill Murray? He's in there. Adrian Grenier? Best kiss ever, apparently. At one point she states that she is responsible for showing Britney Spears how to escape from a hotel and gain entry anonymously to niteclubs through the back door. Bill Murray's brother (stay with me here) says she has "eyes second only to Elizabeth Taylor".
Chapter 15 is all about how much her husband loves football. And how much she then managed to learn about football. "Aren't you wowed?" No, I'm not. I'm really not.
Chapter 16 is all about the four (yes, only four things in the whole wide world) things that Melissa can not do as well as everyone else. 1.She cannot put on her makeup herself. Oh! But hang on!! Her skin is tight, supple, and easy to maintain. Her hands were so soft when filming Clarissa that the adults used to talk about them. So no real need for makeup. So that's grand.
2.She cannot do her own hair. Oh! But hang on!! She sometimes rips styles from magazines, copies them, and subsequently receives "rave reviews" from her friends. So that's also grand.
3. She cannot dress herself. But...she has people who help her. So that's grand too.
4. She cannot make food. But Melissa!! Why, just two chapters ago you described going hunting a la Katniss Everdeen, shooting five pheasants, and turning them into a fabulous dinner! Weren't you serving up lobster a few pages ago too? But - wait. It's all grand. Why? Because as a result of her never learning how to cook and having to eat out with her family, her boys have "developed their young palates". So that's not only grand, it's like....beneficial.
She goes on for a whole page about how she chooses to fly coach class so that she can save money to put into the boys' 529 plan. Which is commendable. Or it would be, if she didn't follow it up with a sentence about how the boys have a big home, a vacation house, and a playroom with more toys in it than you could believe.
Can you tell she absolutely wrecked my head from about page 75 onwards??
To be honest, the only interesting things I took from reading this were:
1. The actors who played Harvey & Valerie on Sabrina were really dating.
2. The actor who played Mr. Pool on Sabrina, Paul Feig, went on to direct Bridesmaids.
She says that people are always asking her "how did you end up so normal?" - presumably because she's had her head so far up her own arse for the last thirty years that she missed the opportunity to be anything but.
March 21, 2021
I got to say I was reading this book with a smile on my face. It is so great to read about someone I grew up watching on to come through the movie/famous/broke business, and not just survive but thrive and have a great life with much more to come.
I am about the same age as Melissa Joan Hart, and remember sky coming out and one of the new channels was Nickelodeon. Of course the Clarissa Explains it All was a show that stood out to me. The thing that really attracted me to that show was what I liked about reading this book. An intelligent girl, who breaks to 4th wall to talk to fans through the tv as well as through the book.
Unfortunately as many stories I hear or successful stints in the movie business, most of them do not last the longterm and end badly. I am really happy to see a true success story. Melissa has had trials and tribulations, but thanks to a great foundation of support from family, friend and even coworkers she has weathered them and created lifelong friendship/relationships.
I am about the same age as Melissa Joan Hart, and remember sky coming out and one of the new channels was Nickelodeon. Of course the Clarissa Explains it All was a show that stood out to me. The thing that really attracted me to that show was what I liked about reading this book. An intelligent girl, who breaks to 4th wall to talk to fans through the tv as well as through the book.
Unfortunately as many stories I hear or successful stints in the movie business, most of them do not last the longterm and end badly. I am really happy to see a true success story. Melissa has had trials and tribulations, but thanks to a great foundation of support from family, friend and even coworkers she has weathered them and created lifelong friendship/relationships.
July 18, 2018
I feel like this is a big, guilty embarrassment. But I must press onward. I READ MELISSA JOAN HART'S MEMOIR. There, I said it. And what a poor choice I made.
I don't need to explain much about the book--it's written by Melissa Joan Hart, child star of Sabrina and Clarissa Explains It All, whom I fondly remember from my childhood days as a spunky, cool girl. It seemed like a great idea to read her memoir and hear about how great it must have been to work on those shows (robot cat puppets and Caroline Rhea? YESSSS).
So I was very shocked by what I actually got. The book is slim (288 pages), but this little book manages to be bloated, and that's one of its biggest problems. In fact, I'll start there. Now, the reason that MJH is famous? Those two TV shows I mentioned earlier. You would think those would get the majority of the text devoted to them (or, in the very least, two significant sections) because they're really the reason we care enough to buy her memoir.
But what do we get? Two very short chapters that whiz through her experiences (which lasted a combined 12 or 13 yearsof her life), providing few interesting details or anecdotes from either show's production. What we're left with is a general statement along the lines of "oh, I had a good time and people were nice". That's the best you can do for the two career-creating/defining moments of your life?
In general, the book moves sequentially, and it doesn't take long for it to annoy. MJH was, of course, a TV commercial star from a very young age, and the opening chapters devoted to these times are sickeningly self-congratulatory. All she wants to do is tell her devoted fans about how hard she worked and how "real" her life was as a child: her work ethic is so strong and she was so full of charm that she wowed everyone from such a young age. The subtitle of this book is "Tales from my abnormally normal life" and that is something she feels it's necessary to stress over and over again. It was surprisingly grating and something I wasn't expecting.
There's a bizarre amount of name-dropping, too, moments where Hart is eager to remind us about her famous life where she knows all of the other '90s sitcom kids and she partied with Mr. X and made out with Mr. Y and Bill Murray was the first person to know she was pregnant after they golfed together and she starred with this relatively-forgotten person in a movie you maybe saw. It's an uncomfortable combination of "look, I'm relevant" and "see how more culturally relevant I am than him!?".
By the time we're halfway through the book, we've finished talking about her fame-inducing career. "What else does the book talk about?" you ask. "LOL," I respond. There are a variety of things MJH sees fit to discuss--lengthy discussions of her relationship with her husband, which she is oddly defensive of (I'm talking multiple assertions of how great her marriage is), a whole chapter about her husband's passion for the Crimson Tide, a section about her desire to throw a good party but her inability to do so--and they're just boring.
What's most disappointing are the moments when Hart has a flash of really great humor. They're disarming because of how different they are from the drivel-y moments of narrative where Melissa wants only to tell us about how great she is. There was potential for her to write a great, really funny book here, and the glints of that behind the annoyingly flavorless fluff serve only to darken the rest of the book and show how weak it really is.
Unless you're one of her superfans who Googles her regularly, don't waste your time.
My rating: 2/5
http://jonathanlikesbooks.blogspot.com
I don't need to explain much about the book--it's written by Melissa Joan Hart, child star of Sabrina and Clarissa Explains It All, whom I fondly remember from my childhood days as a spunky, cool girl. It seemed like a great idea to read her memoir and hear about how great it must have been to work on those shows (robot cat puppets and Caroline Rhea? YESSSS).
So I was very shocked by what I actually got. The book is slim (288 pages), but this little book manages to be bloated, and that's one of its biggest problems. In fact, I'll start there. Now, the reason that MJH is famous? Those two TV shows I mentioned earlier. You would think those would get the majority of the text devoted to them (or, in the very least, two significant sections) because they're really the reason we care enough to buy her memoir.
But what do we get? Two very short chapters that whiz through her experiences (which lasted a combined 12 or 13 yearsof her life), providing few interesting details or anecdotes from either show's production. What we're left with is a general statement along the lines of "oh, I had a good time and people were nice". That's the best you can do for the two career-creating/defining moments of your life?
In general, the book moves sequentially, and it doesn't take long for it to annoy. MJH was, of course, a TV commercial star from a very young age, and the opening chapters devoted to these times are sickeningly self-congratulatory. All she wants to do is tell her devoted fans about how hard she worked and how "real" her life was as a child: her work ethic is so strong and she was so full of charm that she wowed everyone from such a young age. The subtitle of this book is "Tales from my abnormally normal life" and that is something she feels it's necessary to stress over and over again. It was surprisingly grating and something I wasn't expecting.
There's a bizarre amount of name-dropping, too, moments where Hart is eager to remind us about her famous life where she knows all of the other '90s sitcom kids and she partied with Mr. X and made out with Mr. Y and Bill Murray was the first person to know she was pregnant after they golfed together and she starred with this relatively-forgotten person in a movie you maybe saw. It's an uncomfortable combination of "look, I'm relevant" and "see how more culturally relevant I am than him!?".
By the time we're halfway through the book, we've finished talking about her fame-inducing career. "What else does the book talk about?" you ask. "LOL," I respond. There are a variety of things MJH sees fit to discuss--lengthy discussions of her relationship with her husband, which she is oddly defensive of (I'm talking multiple assertions of how great her marriage is), a whole chapter about her husband's passion for the Crimson Tide, a section about her desire to throw a good party but her inability to do so--and they're just boring.
What's most disappointing are the moments when Hart has a flash of really great humor. They're disarming because of how different they are from the drivel-y moments of narrative where Melissa wants only to tell us about how great she is. There was potential for her to write a great, really funny book here, and the glints of that behind the annoyingly flavorless fluff serve only to darken the rest of the book and show how weak it really is.
Unless you're one of her superfans who Googles her regularly, don't waste your time.
My rating: 2/5
http://jonathanlikesbooks.blogspot.com
November 8, 2013
I was so disappointed in this book. I loved all things Melissa Joan Hart growing up and was so stoked to see she had an autobiography coming out. I even preordered it! This book was totally self-serving and was just a way for Melissa to show the world just how amazing and awesome she is. Too bad for me it was more about how amazingly and awesomely boring she is.
I was on board at first when she talked about her humble beginnings, but shortly there was nothing humble left. This book seemed like one boring brag after another.
I used to love Melissa, but now I just think she's pretentious with a higher sense of worth than is reality (this is the extremely toned down version of what I really wanted to say, but I wasn't sure if I'd get kicked off of Goodreads if I used more colorful language and said what I really wanted to say).
So, basically, don't waste your time on this one. I already wasted enough time reading it for everyone.
I was on board at first when she talked about her humble beginnings, but shortly there was nothing humble left. This book seemed like one boring brag after another.
I used to love Melissa, but now I just think she's pretentious with a higher sense of worth than is reality (this is the extremely toned down version of what I really wanted to say, but I wasn't sure if I'd get kicked off of Goodreads if I used more colorful language and said what I really wanted to say).
So, basically, don't waste your time on this one. I already wasted enough time reading it for everyone.
November 2, 2013
That's a lie! She didn't explain the Vasiliev theory! Not to mention the Higgs-Boson or the finer points of quantum mechanics. Guess I'll have to try Soleil Moon Frye's book.
August 7, 2015
So my gripe is not the common one with this book. Most have said that her subtitle is misleading with all the names she drops and the mostly lavish life she lives. But I had a teacher that said that the very fact that we have things like "Stars- They're Just Like US!" proves how NOT like us they are (since we have to emphasize it). So, no, I didn't expect to read about Melissa being quote unquote "normal." What I did hope to read was a relatable book by a 90s star who did not get eaten by fame. I never watched all of Clarissa, and Sabrina was always too over-the-top for me (also, a pox on that show for beating Boy Meets World in the ratings), but, nevertheless, they were present in my childhood. After watching a lot of Sabrina and a few interviews with Melissa, I just felt like she was a nice, relatable person. I figured this would be a fun, breezy read. Well, don't meet your heroes, indeed (though she is not that for me at all, but you get my point). Melissa Joan Hart is not a nice person. And if she really is a nice person but was putting on an act for this book, then she's a fake person, and that's even worse. I'm not sure where to begin with the multitude of sins this book racks up.
The most obvious theme throughout the book is, sadly, how bitter Melissa is at not being more famous. I think all of her name-dropping is not an attempt to seem cool and less C-list but, instead, an attempt to show us that she is better than these people. This is because she insults almost all of the celebrities that she mentions. She completely reams Drew Barrymore for calling her (Melissa's) mom a bitch, even though Drew was only 10 and in a very troubled period in her life. The clincher? Melissa says, "I'm sure she'd take it back now if she could." Ouch. Ironically, I would say actually that Drew is the most normal celebrity I can think of now. She has two beautiful daughters, she has a normal body, and she found the love of her life. Also, she's fucking nice. Like genuinely. Melissa isn't. At all.
It really bothered me when she dissed Lizzie McGuire, citing that show as an example of someone wearing "a full face of makeup, hair extensions, and daring clothes." Okay, when did Lizzie EVER wear a full face of makeup? She looked normal. And I don't think Hilary had hair extensions at the time, though she and Miranda wore funky hairstyles. And Lizzie's clothes were as mismatched and crazy as Clarissa's! But they were never inappropriate for a 12 year old. Good lord. Has she even seen the show? She also dissed Wizards and Hannah Montana, so I'm guessing this was also meant to be a dig at how Disney portrays girls. Ugh.
Melissa's relationship with her mom is most troubling. She praises and praises her (after all, she is her momager), but the behavior she talks about sounds very controlling and disturbing. When Melissa went to auditions as a child and afterwards if she told her mom that she didn't think she got the part, Melissa's mom would immediately start screeching and telling her that they were done, that they would never go on another audition. Mrs. Hart also had serious problems with Melissa getting married. Instead of wishing for her daughter's happiness, she got majorly bitter that she was no longer the center of her child's life. Not a stage mom my ass.
Speaking of controlling, this is a word that also defines Melissa. Look, I'm super type A as well. But I try to portray the good side of that and acknowledge how annoying I can be. Melissa never really does this. She just gets pissed when she cannot control every aspect of life. Even things that should happen to a person naturally (like losing one's virginity) Melissa planned to a tee. This controlling nature leads to her fighting with her husband over things like ketchup. Yes, ketchup. One likes it room temp, the other likes it cold, but instead of coming immediately to the conclusion of having two separate bottles of ketchup, they fight about it until Mark locks Melissa out of the house. She also seems baffled that she has to give up so much of her husband to football but it's like... how did you not know the man you were marrying? If your interests are so disparate, why stay together? Good grief.
Horrifyingly, she makes a dig on Farrah Fawcett that is overheard when she says that the reason she was chosen for a story in People is because Farrah hadn't died that week. She has absolutely no tact or class whatsoever (Melissa, not Farrah).
The most horrific story for me was one she shared at the end about parenting. She couldn't get her son Mason to potty train, so she cut a hole in his diaper so that his poop would fall into the potty and he'd believe his feces was too strong for a diaper and thus quit wearing one. But instead of falling into his toilet, it fell onto the floor before he could make it to the toilet, and he ran around in his own poop, terrified about what had happened while Melissa stood by and laughed hysterically, wishing she had recorded the whole thing. It takes too much energy to hate celebrities, but boy did I come close when I read this.
One last thing: Dearest Melissa, the casts of Breaking Bad, Pretty Little Liars, Full House, The Wonder Years, Degrassi, Boy Meets World, The Golden Girls, et. al. all disagree with your statement that casts aren't close outside a TV show. The public isn't disappointed by your insight that casts generally don't grow close, because it simply isn't true. All the ones I listed and many more are thick as thieves, even years later. If you're not close with your cast then it's you, honey, not them.
The most obvious theme throughout the book is, sadly, how bitter Melissa is at not being more famous. I think all of her name-dropping is not an attempt to seem cool and less C-list but, instead, an attempt to show us that she is better than these people. This is because she insults almost all of the celebrities that she mentions. She completely reams Drew Barrymore for calling her (Melissa's) mom a bitch, even though Drew was only 10 and in a very troubled period in her life. The clincher? Melissa says, "I'm sure she'd take it back now if she could." Ouch. Ironically, I would say actually that Drew is the most normal celebrity I can think of now. She has two beautiful daughters, she has a normal body, and she found the love of her life. Also, she's fucking nice. Like genuinely. Melissa isn't. At all.
It really bothered me when she dissed Lizzie McGuire, citing that show as an example of someone wearing "a full face of makeup, hair extensions, and daring clothes." Okay, when did Lizzie EVER wear a full face of makeup? She looked normal. And I don't think Hilary had hair extensions at the time, though she and Miranda wore funky hairstyles. And Lizzie's clothes were as mismatched and crazy as Clarissa's! But they were never inappropriate for a 12 year old. Good lord. Has she even seen the show? She also dissed Wizards and Hannah Montana, so I'm guessing this was also meant to be a dig at how Disney portrays girls. Ugh.
Melissa's relationship with her mom is most troubling. She praises and praises her (after all, she is her momager), but the behavior she talks about sounds very controlling and disturbing. When Melissa went to auditions as a child and afterwards if she told her mom that she didn't think she got the part, Melissa's mom would immediately start screeching and telling her that they were done, that they would never go on another audition. Mrs. Hart also had serious problems with Melissa getting married. Instead of wishing for her daughter's happiness, she got majorly bitter that she was no longer the center of her child's life. Not a stage mom my ass.
Speaking of controlling, this is a word that also defines Melissa. Look, I'm super type A as well. But I try to portray the good side of that and acknowledge how annoying I can be. Melissa never really does this. She just gets pissed when she cannot control every aspect of life. Even things that should happen to a person naturally (like losing one's virginity) Melissa planned to a tee. This controlling nature leads to her fighting with her husband over things like ketchup. Yes, ketchup. One likes it room temp, the other likes it cold, but instead of coming immediately to the conclusion of having two separate bottles of ketchup, they fight about it until Mark locks Melissa out of the house. She also seems baffled that she has to give up so much of her husband to football but it's like... how did you not know the man you were marrying? If your interests are so disparate, why stay together? Good grief.
Horrifyingly, she makes a dig on Farrah Fawcett that is overheard when she says that the reason she was chosen for a story in People is because Farrah hadn't died that week. She has absolutely no tact or class whatsoever (Melissa, not Farrah).
The most horrific story for me was one she shared at the end about parenting. She couldn't get her son Mason to potty train, so she cut a hole in his diaper so that his poop would fall into the potty and he'd believe his feces was too strong for a diaper and thus quit wearing one. But instead of falling into his toilet, it fell onto the floor before he could make it to the toilet, and he ran around in his own poop, terrified about what had happened while Melissa stood by and laughed hysterically, wishing she had recorded the whole thing. It takes too much energy to hate celebrities, but boy did I come close when I read this.
One last thing: Dearest Melissa, the casts of Breaking Bad, Pretty Little Liars, Full House, The Wonder Years, Degrassi, Boy Meets World, The Golden Girls, et. al. all disagree with your statement that casts aren't close outside a TV show. The public isn't disappointed by your insight that casts generally don't grow close, because it simply isn't true. All the ones I listed and many more are thick as thieves, even years later. If you're not close with your cast then it's you, honey, not them.
February 3, 2016
I wish I could go back to life before this book, when I could still believe that MJH was "abnormally normal" and down-to-earth, and probably more like her Sabrina/Clarissa characters than she actually is in her actual life. Part of why I disliked this book is because I just read Amy Poehler's Yes Please, which showcased Amy as a much more giving, emotional, helpful person. (Not saying my comparison is fair, just saying that IT HAPPENED).
MJH isn't normal~, despite all her great attempts to seem so (what "normal" person gets to pick between houses in four different not-bordering-each-other states, and gives their friends MASSAGE PARTIES for Christmas, and tweets to famous football players that they then get to meet and have dinner with so their husband will be impressed with them?), and her constant reiteration of how "normal" she was just made everything she said seem disingenuous and very try-hard. Some anecdotes in the book were amusing, but more often it felt like she was trying to impress the reader, especially with all the pointless namedropping -- HEY, I am ALL for namedropping in celebrity memoirs, but with a POINT or a story attached and not just to say "I exist on the same level as this person". Also, she spoke badly of a lot of celebrities in her book, and while I don't DISBELIEVE her stories about them, it left a bad taste in my mouth. I'd much rather have heard GOOD stories about people she was actually friends with than how gross she thought James Van Der Beek was.
Also, her book was so filled with cliches and metaphors/similes and idioms that, again, it didn't feel like any kind of conversational Real Talk, and was a little hard to get around in parts. I probably would've liked the book and MJH's portrayal of herself a lot more if it hadn't felt so abrasive and fake.
(This is to say, I'm still a fan of MJH's work, as I've loved pretty much every show and movie she's been in that I've seen. I don't dislike her as a person after reading this because I still don't KNOW her as a person, and her love for her family seems real and I admire that, even if I think she is trying really hard to simultaneously appear to be a wholesome family woman AND a "fun-loving" energetic badass at the same time [and note that the two are things you can be at the same time, but in her book it felt like she couldn't decide which she wanted to be known for MORE and that the two sides of herself were warring for dominance].)
In short, there's some interesting stuff in here, but be aware that you might feel like you're being regaled with too-tall-tales by someone who wants you to both like and fear them a little or something.
MJH isn't normal~, despite all her great attempts to seem so (what "normal" person gets to pick between houses in four different not-bordering-each-other states, and gives their friends MASSAGE PARTIES for Christmas, and tweets to famous football players that they then get to meet and have dinner with so their husband will be impressed with them?), and her constant reiteration of how "normal" she was just made everything she said seem disingenuous and very try-hard. Some anecdotes in the book were amusing, but more often it felt like she was trying to impress the reader, especially with all the pointless namedropping -- HEY, I am ALL for namedropping in celebrity memoirs, but with a POINT or a story attached and not just to say "I exist on the same level as this person". Also, she spoke badly of a lot of celebrities in her book, and while I don't DISBELIEVE her stories about them, it left a bad taste in my mouth. I'd much rather have heard GOOD stories about people she was actually friends with than how gross she thought James Van Der Beek was.
Also, her book was so filled with cliches and metaphors/similes and idioms that, again, it didn't feel like any kind of conversational Real Talk, and was a little hard to get around in parts. I probably would've liked the book and MJH's portrayal of herself a lot more if it hadn't felt so abrasive and fake.
(This is to say, I'm still a fan of MJH's work, as I've loved pretty much every show and movie she's been in that I've seen. I don't dislike her as a person after reading this because I still don't KNOW her as a person, and her love for her family seems real and I admire that, even if I think she is trying really hard to simultaneously appear to be a wholesome family woman AND a "fun-loving" energetic badass at the same time [and note that the two are things you can be at the same time, but in her book it felt like she couldn't decide which she wanted to be known for MORE and that the two sides of herself were warring for dominance].)
In short, there's some interesting stuff in here, but be aware that you might feel like you're being regaled with too-tall-tales by someone who wants you to both like and fear them a little or something.
December 9, 2013
In the late 80s, I wanted to be Punky Brewster. In the early 90s, I developed a new “girl crush” on Melissa Joan Hart in “Clarissa Explains It All” (ironically enough, Hart and Soleil Moon Frye are best buds and starred together in later seasons of “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch”). Her look, attitude, the set of her bedroom…I wanted to be her. Now more than 20 years later, I still hold a special place in my heart…for well…Hart. Luckily, Melissa Joan Hart opens her life to fans in, “Melissa Explains It All: Tales from My Abnormally Normal Life”.
As much as I adore Hart, I was instantly worried that her memoir would be exactly like those of her celebrity peers: a terribly written, “Woe is me”, gossipy tale of sex and drugs. It didn’t help that an endorsement from Tori Spelling graces the back cover and that Hart’s introduction comes off as shallow and trying too hard to be portrayed as a fun, partying mama. Uh oh…
Thankfully, this eases up and “Melissa Explains It All” isn’t as bad as one may think. Although not written in a traditional chronological way, “Melissa Explains It All” shares quirky stories and lessons from Hart’s life. The world of a child star in the 90s is truly revealed (with some juicy name dropping); but doesn’t feel overly contrived or shallow. Yes, there are moments when Hart’s tone is too conversational and she endeavors to be funny like a mom painfully trying to impress her children; but there are also some intelligent passages (this does display inconsistency, however). Basically, “Melissa Explains It All” isn’t as overly simplified like other celeb memoirs which assume the audience is filled with idiots (or perhaps the writers are the idiots). In fact, Hart even adds some statistics and research to her TV-explaining ways.
The reader will truly learn about how television works (from lingo to production) in “Melissa Explains It All”. Hart’s passion is clear and her experience is inspiring, resulting in a readable memoir. Plus, Hart mixes in her personal stories versus focusing on them causing a mature versus gossipy feel. On the other hand, there are moments when Hart doesn’t dive deep enough, skimming on details and rushing through the story. Perhaps these are writing jitters or a confidence wall she created for privacy but either way, they can be disappointing.
The major issue with the format of “Melissa Explains It All” is that the absence of chronology makes the storytelling choppy and induces the reader to have to (and want to) mentally line up what happened at a specific age as the events are relayed more by topic than age. This consumes reader energy and is frustrating.
“Melissa Explains It All” enters the shallow name-dropping, drug-popping realm in the middle of the memoir which slows the pace for those readers seeking more depth. For once, I want to hear about a celeb who has NOT done drugs! At least Hart’s stories are rather tame in comparison to some other celeb tales and didn’t lead to addiction.
It is very common in Hollywood memoirs to have concluding chapters which are weaker than the preceding text with authors dragging the story to end it on a memorable note (but failing to have the writing chops to do so successfully). “Melissa Explains It All” is no exception with Hart attempting to solidify that she is a ‘normal girl’. This should be gathered through the entire text without the need to prove anything on the final pages. Despite this, the ending isn’t terribly awful and doesn’t dampen the work too much, overall.
In terms of celeb memoirs, “Melissa Explains It All” is better written, more entertaining, and reveals lessons in Hart’s life. However, like the subtitle states; expect tales versus an autobiographical timeline. “Melissa Explains It All” is recommended for nostalgic Hart fans or even those of her current work. Plus, it is only about a 2-day read so it won’t take too much time to complete.
As much as I adore Hart, I was instantly worried that her memoir would be exactly like those of her celebrity peers: a terribly written, “Woe is me”, gossipy tale of sex and drugs. It didn’t help that an endorsement from Tori Spelling graces the back cover and that Hart’s introduction comes off as shallow and trying too hard to be portrayed as a fun, partying mama. Uh oh…
Thankfully, this eases up and “Melissa Explains It All” isn’t as bad as one may think. Although not written in a traditional chronological way, “Melissa Explains It All” shares quirky stories and lessons from Hart’s life. The world of a child star in the 90s is truly revealed (with some juicy name dropping); but doesn’t feel overly contrived or shallow. Yes, there are moments when Hart’s tone is too conversational and she endeavors to be funny like a mom painfully trying to impress her children; but there are also some intelligent passages (this does display inconsistency, however). Basically, “Melissa Explains It All” isn’t as overly simplified like other celeb memoirs which assume the audience is filled with idiots (or perhaps the writers are the idiots). In fact, Hart even adds some statistics and research to her TV-explaining ways.
The reader will truly learn about how television works (from lingo to production) in “Melissa Explains It All”. Hart’s passion is clear and her experience is inspiring, resulting in a readable memoir. Plus, Hart mixes in her personal stories versus focusing on them causing a mature versus gossipy feel. On the other hand, there are moments when Hart doesn’t dive deep enough, skimming on details and rushing through the story. Perhaps these are writing jitters or a confidence wall she created for privacy but either way, they can be disappointing.
The major issue with the format of “Melissa Explains It All” is that the absence of chronology makes the storytelling choppy and induces the reader to have to (and want to) mentally line up what happened at a specific age as the events are relayed more by topic than age. This consumes reader energy and is frustrating.
“Melissa Explains It All” enters the shallow name-dropping, drug-popping realm in the middle of the memoir which slows the pace for those readers seeking more depth. For once, I want to hear about a celeb who has NOT done drugs! At least Hart’s stories are rather tame in comparison to some other celeb tales and didn’t lead to addiction.
It is very common in Hollywood memoirs to have concluding chapters which are weaker than the preceding text with authors dragging the story to end it on a memorable note (but failing to have the writing chops to do so successfully). “Melissa Explains It All” is no exception with Hart attempting to solidify that she is a ‘normal girl’. This should be gathered through the entire text without the need to prove anything on the final pages. Despite this, the ending isn’t terribly awful and doesn’t dampen the work too much, overall.
In terms of celeb memoirs, “Melissa Explains It All” is better written, more entertaining, and reveals lessons in Hart’s life. However, like the subtitle states; expect tales versus an autobiographical timeline. “Melissa Explains It All” is recommended for nostalgic Hart fans or even those of her current work. Plus, it is only about a 2-day read so it won’t take too much time to complete.
November 11, 2013
GoodReads considers 2 stars to be "OK." That's what this book was "OK." Melissa was sometimes annoying as the narrator and was occasionally conceited. Plus, she barely mentions "Sabrina" which was most certainly her biggest, most important role to date.
There was a lot of repetition in the book as well, and she tended to jump around a lot in her narration. I appreciate that she clearly authored the book, though, instead of working with a "real" writer.
There was a lot of repetition in the book as well, and she tended to jump around a lot in her narration. I appreciate that she clearly authored the book, though, instead of working with a "real" writer.
November 3, 2013
Melissa Joan Hart needs to step off of her high horse and realize she is not normal. She also needs to get over herself. Her book was so boring because her life did not warrant the need for a book. I have been a fan of hers since 'Clarissa Explains It All' but not sure I'd count myself as a fan after reading this book. Her views on life are skewed but she's too self involved to realize it.
July 17, 2015
Melissa Joan Hart, you are no Jodie Sweetin.
May 21, 2014
Perhaps the failings of this memoir should be blamed on the second or third pair of eyes that reviewed MJH's writing. My recurring thought as I read was: she could have used a better editor. I don't doubt the former child star has stories to tell--who wouldn't, with her resume?--but the stories are jumbled, the writing isn't concise, and you get the sense that she's writing more for herself than the audience she purports to be reaching.
There have been few moments where I've felt any connection to her "by the bootstraps" upbringing, and in fact, her whole life seems more privileged than she claims. This memoir seems to be more of an attempt to completely paint over the clean image that came with her association to Sabrina and in trying so hard to reintroduce herself as a wild child, she loses all of the charm that made me want to pick up this book in the first place. In fact, she even ends the book with the thought in the last chapter about washing away her "Pollyana image."
The incessant name dropping (we get it, you ran with the elites), the constant reassurances that she was indeed into tequila shots and shrooms, and the frequent reinforcements of gender stereotypes felt exhausting and overdone, and by the end of each chapter I just felt sorry for her. It felt like she was trying to prove she HAD been offered big roles and that it was her choice she wasn't as big of a star she says she didn't want to be.
I don't know how much truth there is to some of her anecdotes (several of the names she's dropped have come out and criticized her inaccurate retellings of events), but I'm not interested in a follow-up if one happened to come along.
There have been few moments where I've felt any connection to her "by the bootstraps" upbringing, and in fact, her whole life seems more privileged than she claims. This memoir seems to be more of an attempt to completely paint over the clean image that came with her association to Sabrina and in trying so hard to reintroduce herself as a wild child, she loses all of the charm that made me want to pick up this book in the first place. In fact, she even ends the book with the thought in the last chapter about washing away her "Pollyana image."
The incessant name dropping (we get it, you ran with the elites), the constant reassurances that she was indeed into tequila shots and shrooms, and the frequent reinforcements of gender stereotypes felt exhausting and overdone, and by the end of each chapter I just felt sorry for her. It felt like she was trying to prove she HAD been offered big roles and that it was her choice she wasn't as big of a star she says she didn't want to be.
I don't know how much truth there is to some of her anecdotes (several of the names she's dropped have come out and criticized her inaccurate retellings of events), but I'm not interested in a follow-up if one happened to come along.
March 3, 2015
I was excited to read this book, because I watched 'Clarissa Explains It All' as a kid, and I loved 'Sabrina the Teenage Witch', so I wanted to read all about both of those shows in this book.
The book touched on both shows a little, but not much. Melissa did write how she started out becoming a child actress, and through that, getting the Clarissa show, but she didn't talk about either show much, which disappointed me.
Something about her voice as an author though, I didn't like. I felt that she was name dropping a lot, and saying she did such and such to seem cool, and spoke about random things which personally, I didn't really care about. One chapter was in my opinion, kind of offensive. She explained how during football season, she feels like 'football widow', because she husband is so into the game. I felt that wasn't the right choice of words, especially with real widows that may be reading her book.
I just didn't like her voice in this book at all. It felt to me that she was bragging at times, and not that appreciative of her fans.
I gave this book three stars, because I do like books about those in the entertainment world, but it kind of turned me off to her as a person.
The book touched on both shows a little, but not much. Melissa did write how she started out becoming a child actress, and through that, getting the Clarissa show, but she didn't talk about either show much, which disappointed me.
Something about her voice as an author though, I didn't like. I felt that she was name dropping a lot, and saying she did such and such to seem cool, and spoke about random things which personally, I didn't really care about. One chapter was in my opinion, kind of offensive. She explained how during football season, she feels like 'football widow', because she husband is so into the game. I felt that wasn't the right choice of words, especially with real widows that may be reading her book.
I just didn't like her voice in this book at all. It felt to me that she was bragging at times, and not that appreciative of her fans.
I gave this book three stars, because I do like books about those in the entertainment world, but it kind of turned me off to her as a person.
February 12, 2014
I was surprised on how disappointed with Hart's biography. She has achieved a lot, and I will give credit when it's due, but she was very self-congratulatory. It became tiresome very fast. Also, her name dropping got very annoying. Some people she named that she didn't really know. Hart named them because of the caché of their name.
I've read many memoirs but this one made me cringed. She does or did drink a lot and experiment with different drugs. How professional is it to be high on a photoshoot? That was ridiculous and it could have cost her so much if she had gotten caught. It wasn't because she was clever but because Hart's trangressions bappened just so that they were missed. They were like ticks between a clock.
Also, for a book that generally follows sequential order, it felt very disjointed. I always have liked Melissa Joan Hart but when I saw her during a signing at a bookstore, I found her unlikable. This was how her memoir was: unlikable and insincere. That was a letdown.
I've read many memoirs but this one made me cringed. She does or did drink a lot and experiment with different drugs. How professional is it to be high on a photoshoot? That was ridiculous and it could have cost her so much if she had gotten caught. It wasn't because she was clever but because Hart's trangressions bappened just so that they were missed. They were like ticks between a clock.
Also, for a book that generally follows sequential order, it felt very disjointed. I always have liked Melissa Joan Hart but when I saw her during a signing at a bookstore, I found her unlikable. This was how her memoir was: unlikable and insincere. That was a letdown.
August 11, 2016
I wasn't incredibly impressed. I liked her matter of fact opinion of child acting but after that, there was a tone of arrogance and self worth I wasn't interested in.
January 18, 2025
It was okay. I enjoyed the beginning with her talking about being on Clarissa and Sabrina. I liked the end with her talking about her husband and trying to be the mom that has it all while shooting in LA while her husband and kids are in Connecticut. She is really easy to relate to and I enjoy her voice, I don't feel like she dumbs it down or preaches things to me or is all high and toity. Only thing I didn't like was her twenties, because I felt she spent half of those chapters talking about how she was a good girl and half of those chapters talking about how she was not so I am left with the impression there was a lot about her twenties she left out of here. Which is okay, I'd do the same if I was to write a book (I could tell with her family she left a lot out too but that makes sense because I'm sure a lot of those stories were not hers to say). That said, she wrote how she hated kissing James Van Der Beek on tv at 15 and how Danny Masterson was very touching feel-y at age 16 and how she made out with Jerry Connell the day she met her husband (or the night before? don't remember) and all that made me laugh so maybe I should bump this up to 3.5 stars. Not the worst celebrity bio I've read.
December 5, 2013
I listened to the audiobook and am glad I did that instead of trying to read this - you can tell she did not use a professional ghostwriter or have a good editor because wow, she is all over the place. I would say the biggest revelation for me was about her drug use and I did some Googling to find the druggie boyfriend she trashes but doesn't name in the book. I feel like she's very defensive of her stage mom (who sounds not fun) and her relationship with her husband and doesn't spend a lot of time talking about Clarissa or Sabrina, which obviously is the only reason anyone would want to read this book. Spends way too much time near the end detailing boring parties she's thrown for her friends and kids (no one cares about your Gilligan Island theme party, MJH) and seriously, a whole chapter about her musician husband's obsession with a football team? Skipped that whole section, obviously. I couldn't recommend it unless you're a big fan.
April 1, 2016
This was the longest read I ever had because I constantly had to put this book down. 200 page books typically take me a day, two days tops to finish. Melissa's took what felt like forever because I could only stand her terrible writing and horribly obvious celebrity name dropping for a chapter or two. She seemed to gloss over such key moments in her career (Clarissa, Sabrina) and rather wanted to brag about who her current boy toy of the moment was. All her talk about the various drugs she did, girls she made out with, and celebs she either friended and/or hooked up with come off as she was desperately trying to impress the reader in the same way that one really annoying kid in high school would brag about everything they did in an attempt to be popular. Suffice it to say, I expected so much more from Melissa and could not have been more relieved to finish this book.
June 22, 2015
If I could give this book 'zero' stars, I would. Basically, Melissa Joan Hart should have just created a long list of people in Hollywood she encountered (even in the most obscure way-like going to the same school as them but not actually talking to them) and you would have the essence of this book. I don't think you can go more then two pages without her obnoxious and unnecessary name dropping. Besides, the name dropping, she just comes off as extremely arrogant. Even as a young child, she is constantly boosting how she is better then everyone else. Really, just don't even waste your time with this "book".
September 14, 2018
I’ve loved MJH since Sabrina and knew bits and pieces of her life, but it was nice to see how her past experiences have made her who she is today. Yep, there were some crazy times, but she also helped Britney Spears sneak out for a fun night. She took classes to help her husband with his music. She did everything she could to be an active part of her kids lives while working in LA. I’m amazed! I can’t wait to see what she’s in next.
November 13, 2021
I'm in between 3 and 4 stars for this review, but I'm going 4 because the first 3/4s was brilliant.
- I LOVED reading about Melissa's initial entrance into the business, auditions, theatre work etc.
- I LOVED reading about the school she went to with Tara Reid, Macauley Culkin and Sarah Michelle Gellar
- I LOVED reading about her celebrity parties
I wish there had been more about the Sabrina years, and also a little more about Melissa & Joey even though I couldn't get into the show, she said it was the best show she ever worked on but then barely mentioned it.
I also wish all that stuff about her husband and football had been condensed into a paragraph because I didn't get it and I didn't really care. Sorry, not what I wanted to read about personally, definitely not to that length. Whereas the hectic work schedule where she balanced filming in LA in the week then flying back home to see her boys every weekend, was really interesting and showed how amazingly talent and hard working she is.
Overall, I really enjoyed this, just a shame that end part (up until the final chapter where we returned to interesting) was not as engaging as the rest.
- I LOVED reading about Melissa's initial entrance into the business, auditions, theatre work etc.
- I LOVED reading about the school she went to with Tara Reid, Macauley Culkin and Sarah Michelle Gellar
- I LOVED reading about her celebrity parties
I wish there had been more about the Sabrina years, and also a little more about Melissa & Joey even though I couldn't get into the show, she said it was the best show she ever worked on but then barely mentioned it.
I also wish all that stuff about her husband and football had been condensed into a paragraph because I didn't get it and I didn't really care. Sorry, not what I wanted to read about personally, definitely not to that length. Whereas the hectic work schedule where she balanced filming in LA in the week then flying back home to see her boys every weekend, was really interesting and showed how amazingly talent and hard working she is.
Overall, I really enjoyed this, just a shame that end part (up until the final chapter where we returned to interesting) was not as engaging as the rest.
July 23, 2017
I finished reading Melissa Explains It All by Melissa Joan Hart. I have been trying to finish this for quite some time, but much like my last autobiography, there was something that kept me from completing it. I must have instinctively known it was going to be bad, otherwise I would have had a hard time putting it down.
I don’t want to delay the inevitable, so I will just come out and say it in one word. Disappointing. My exposure to Ms. Hart was purely through her show Sabrina. I really loved her in those episodes. Guess I failed to realized is that I loved her character. I don’t even know the woman behind the character so how can I “love” her.
I thought the book would be entertaining, but what I found was boring stories about her partying and drinking. What I once thought as a cute and gifted actress, after reading this book, I see her as arrogant and pretentious. It’s sad really. There was no “heart” from Hart.
There were areas where she just droned on and on, but others where she didn’t go into enough detail. Perhaps the most enjoyable part of the book was when she met her husband and started on down that path of serious dating, engagement, wedding and marriage. And why not write more about her other relationships outside of the “guys” she used to date. If she was expecting her readers to feel sorry for her poor choices in men, it didn’t happen with this reader.
Luckily I spent Saturday baking cookies, so I could read though the last half of this as quickly as possibly. Usually, I can find a kernel of interest that will draw me in to a book. Not with this one. I never wanted to be more “over” something than I did wanting to be over reading Melissa Explains It All. No recommendation on this one. My cookies were better than this book.
I don’t want to delay the inevitable, so I will just come out and say it in one word. Disappointing. My exposure to Ms. Hart was purely through her show Sabrina. I really loved her in those episodes. Guess I failed to realized is that I loved her character. I don’t even know the woman behind the character so how can I “love” her.
I thought the book would be entertaining, but what I found was boring stories about her partying and drinking. What I once thought as a cute and gifted actress, after reading this book, I see her as arrogant and pretentious. It’s sad really. There was no “heart” from Hart.
There were areas where she just droned on and on, but others where she didn’t go into enough detail. Perhaps the most enjoyable part of the book was when she met her husband and started on down that path of serious dating, engagement, wedding and marriage. And why not write more about her other relationships outside of the “guys” she used to date. If she was expecting her readers to feel sorry for her poor choices in men, it didn’t happen with this reader.
Luckily I spent Saturday baking cookies, so I could read though the last half of this as quickly as possibly. Usually, I can find a kernel of interest that will draw me in to a book. Not with this one. I never wanted to be more “over” something than I did wanting to be over reading Melissa Explains It All. No recommendation on this one. My cookies were better than this book.
July 14, 2021
I never watched 'Clarissa Explains It All' but I did catch some episodes of 'Sabrina the Teenage Witch' growing up. Still, I was curious enough to listen to Melissa Joan Hart's autobiography, which she narrates herself (the only kind of auto-bios I'll listen to).
MJH talks about her early start as a child actor, all the way to her current life with her husband and 3 small boys. She kisses and tells - from Ryan Reynolds, Mario Lopez, James Van Der Beek, to Joey Lawrence (and more). She also talks about failed relationships and how she meet her husband.
I was surprised at how much MJH was into drugs in her young adult years. She was probably able to keep it a secret (until now) since she grew up in the pre-TMZ/internet era. You might recall the spread she did for Maxim magazine, which she turned up to still high on Ecstasy (from the previous night when she was a the Playboy mansion). She was also into drinking, and seems to still be.
There was a (read: BORING) section about her husband's serious love of football, and how they're known as 'the crimson family' because they're always wearing their favorite team's colors.
All in all, this autobiography was okay. The were times I found myself zoning out while listening to this audiobook but I don't feel like I missed anything interesting. There wasn't anything spectacularly interesting about MJH career/life but if you were a fan of hers growing up, you might want to check it out.
MJH talks about her early start as a child actor, all the way to her current life with her husband and 3 small boys. She kisses and tells - from Ryan Reynolds, Mario Lopez, James Van Der Beek, to Joey Lawrence (and more). She also talks about failed relationships and how she meet her husband.
I was surprised at how much MJH was into drugs in her young adult years. She was probably able to keep it a secret (until now) since she grew up in the pre-TMZ/internet era. You might recall the spread she did for Maxim magazine, which she turned up to still high on Ecstasy (from the previous night when she was a the Playboy mansion). She was also into drinking, and seems to still be.
There was a (read: BORING) section about her husband's serious love of football, and how they're known as 'the crimson family' because they're always wearing their favorite team's colors.
All in all, this autobiography was okay. The were times I found myself zoning out while listening to this audiobook but I don't feel like I missed anything interesting. There wasn't anything spectacularly interesting about MJH career/life but if you were a fan of hers growing up, you might want to check it out.
November 5, 2013
Looking back on my 22 years of life, the two people I styled myself after were Melissa's Sabrina and Avril Lavigne. It's funny, because I've never wanted to meet Avril, but reading this book has taught me that I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to meet Melissa (seriously, if you're reading this, come sign books in Oregon--preferably at Barnes & Noble Bridgeport).
All Sabrina fans should read this if you want to know Salem's secrets, Archie Comic's requirements and so on. Of course, Melissa has some solid non-Sabrina stories and advice here as well.
Got to say, Melissa Explains It All has me craving a more Sabrina-oriented book. Melissa mentions in passing the Sabrina merchandise--like the video games and books--all of which I totally owned. Am I the only one who wants to know more about how the book series has a different author for each book (were they writers for the show???), how they made the video games and more about the show's relationship with Archie Comics? Seriously, someone should write that.
All Sabrina fans should read this if you want to know Salem's secrets, Archie Comic's requirements and so on. Of course, Melissa has some solid non-Sabrina stories and advice here as well.
Got to say, Melissa Explains It All has me craving a more Sabrina-oriented book. Melissa mentions in passing the Sabrina merchandise--like the video games and books--all of which I totally owned. Am I the only one who wants to know more about how the book series has a different author for each book (were they writers for the show???), how they made the video games and more about the show's relationship with Archie Comics? Seriously, someone should write that.
August 23, 2014
I never watched Melissa Explains It All...I tried once or twice but just found the hyper character annoying. Now having read the book (well most of it) I realise that "sugar rush opinionated brat" thing was an acting style imposed by Nick and Co back in the day, apparently because they thought it was...cute? Cool? Who knows. It did nothing for me, so I never managed a whole episode.
The authoress' narrative voice is pretty familiar for anyone who's ever watched all or part of an episode of the live-action version of Sabrina the Teenage Witch (I'm old enough to remember the very first cartoon!). Bubbly, superficially "sweet little good-girl" but she can be devastating when she chooses. Such as her description of working with "Bill" Hurt, how hard it was for him to relate to her as a kid, and how even then she appreciated it was difficult for him to relate to her on a child's level because it was hard for him to be open and express emotion. She describes how his "wrap gift" was a hand-written note to each cast member. This makes her look oh so compassionate...until you read the line that says that these painstakingly handwritten notes "made him look cheap and forgetful." Apparently a piece of the man's soul wasn't enough for her. Zzzing!
She also goes out of her way to praise her parents over and over for "doing their best" raising her "huge brood" of brothers and sisters (with herself as bossy eldest, don't forget)--and just lets slip as if it weren't important that her mom handed her over to "guardians" while she was doing Clarissa so she could take a several-months cruise with another sibling who was "singing showtunes." On a cruise ship? Really? No description of her siblings' lives or work...I guess they aren't very important...well, yes, it's her autobiography but her family hardly gets a look-in. ZZzzing!
Her mom wasn't a typical stage mother, according to Miss Melissa, but was her "manager" until she became an adult. "I have no idea how much money I made in those years, it wasn't important." It apparently was, though--or she wouldn't have brought it up. Repeatedly. Along with descriptions of their "fights" and the revealing name of her production company--Hartbreak. Zzing!
It's rather obvious that this book wasn't ghost written...or even edited much. I realise that American English has changed a lot since I left the States 30 years ago, but describing a concept (or anything else) as "thinky" is just...cringe. Oh, and by the way, 3 years is not four, Ms Hart. She says in so many words that she worked on Clarissa from January 1991 to December 1993. Let me see now...January 1991 to December 1993 is...three calendar years. And yet she repeatedly speaks of working with the cast and crew for...four years. Even though the fourth season was not released for broadcast until 1994, it was obviously finished in 1993. That's an interesting way to count to four.
Will I finish it? I might. I don't know. I'm not sure I can handle her particular saccherine brand of self-worship.
The authoress' narrative voice is pretty familiar for anyone who's ever watched all or part of an episode of the live-action version of Sabrina the Teenage Witch (I'm old enough to remember the very first cartoon!). Bubbly, superficially "sweet little good-girl" but she can be devastating when she chooses. Such as her description of working with "Bill" Hurt, how hard it was for him to relate to her as a kid, and how even then she appreciated it was difficult for him to relate to her on a child's level because it was hard for him to be open and express emotion. She describes how his "wrap gift" was a hand-written note to each cast member. This makes her look oh so compassionate...until you read the line that says that these painstakingly handwritten notes "made him look cheap and forgetful." Apparently a piece of the man's soul wasn't enough for her. Zzzing!
She also goes out of her way to praise her parents over and over for "doing their best" raising her "huge brood" of brothers and sisters (with herself as bossy eldest, don't forget)--and just lets slip as if it weren't important that her mom handed her over to "guardians" while she was doing Clarissa so she could take a several-months cruise with another sibling who was "singing showtunes." On a cruise ship? Really? No description of her siblings' lives or work...I guess they aren't very important...well, yes, it's her autobiography but her family hardly gets a look-in. ZZzzing!
Her mom wasn't a typical stage mother, according to Miss Melissa, but was her "manager" until she became an adult. "I have no idea how much money I made in those years, it wasn't important." It apparently was, though--or she wouldn't have brought it up. Repeatedly. Along with descriptions of their "fights" and the revealing name of her production company--Hartbreak. Zzing!
It's rather obvious that this book wasn't ghost written...or even edited much. I realise that American English has changed a lot since I left the States 30 years ago, but describing a concept (or anything else) as "thinky" is just...cringe. Oh, and by the way, 3 years is not four, Ms Hart. She says in so many words that she worked on Clarissa from January 1991 to December 1993. Let me see now...January 1991 to December 1993 is...three calendar years. And yet she repeatedly speaks of working with the cast and crew for...four years. Even though the fourth season was not released for broadcast until 1994, it was obviously finished in 1993. That's an interesting way to count to four.
Will I finish it? I might. I don't know. I'm not sure I can handle her particular saccherine brand of self-worship.
May 14, 2014
I don't think anything here could be considered a spoiler... most of this stuff is alluded to in the first paragraph of the book.
I love autobiographies and I love Melissa Joan Hart, but this book disappointed me. A lot of people have been complaining about this book because she admitted to drug use and same-sex make outs. That stuff doesn't bother me as much as how she tidily swept these things under the rug (the drug use and partying, I don't care a bit about the kissing). With no regret for past actions, she justifies and rationalizes her behavior, presenting herself as "typical" and even "responsible" person. She even consults an alcoholic to see if she could have been considered one in her 20s, and uses his anecdote about her consumption being in the "realm of normal" as a glowing personal recommendation. I know she's a super social extrovert, but she tells stories of partying all night, every night, and sleeping at every break on the Clarissa set. She talks about showing up to a Maxim photo shoot high (and look at the pictures, you can TOTALLY tell). She has no apologies for this, for falling asleep during the shoot, and for being completely unprofessional. She even talks about how much she loves the pictures. All is rose-colored in Melissa's world.
All in all, I don't even care that much that she was a party girl, rather than squeaky-clean like one of her characters (my childhood role models). Frankly, I'm more affronted by the fact that she's a GOP supporter. The thing I'm most disappointed about is that the book focused so much on the partying and her relationships (the facts, more than the experiences), but not on her work. I would love to hear more about the behind-the-scenes stories from Sabrina and Clarissa, two of my favorite childhood shows. She glosses over these things, spending more time talking about her immediate success, winning personality, and consistently wonderful career in the abstract (complete with lots of superficial name dropping). Even football, a sport she watches only for her obsessed husband, is given more book time that the stuff I would be interested in. I mean, I know it's her autobiography, but sheesh! It would have been better if her "dark" habits had been presented as a contrast to her shiny success, but she obviously doesn't see it that way. To Melissa, her whole life is one big success story. Everything is given a positive spin, absolutely everything.
I feel like she should write a second memoir, filling in all the spaces she left out with this one: behind the scenes stuff, how she felt about her work and co-stars, and how being a child star changed her. That's a book I would love to read. I saw an interview she did about the birth of her first child, and that seemed so much more real to me than this. She didn't gloss over the bad, painful bits. Why wasn't there any of that here?
I feel like I'm finally back to writing reviews and they are all negative. I need to do one of a book I loved...
I love autobiographies and I love Melissa Joan Hart, but this book disappointed me. A lot of people have been complaining about this book because she admitted to drug use and same-sex make outs. That stuff doesn't bother me as much as how she tidily swept these things under the rug (the drug use and partying, I don't care a bit about the kissing). With no regret for past actions, she justifies and rationalizes her behavior, presenting herself as "typical" and even "responsible" person. She even consults an alcoholic to see if she could have been considered one in her 20s, and uses his anecdote about her consumption being in the "realm of normal" as a glowing personal recommendation. I know she's a super social extrovert, but she tells stories of partying all night, every night, and sleeping at every break on the Clarissa set. She talks about showing up to a Maxim photo shoot high (and look at the pictures, you can TOTALLY tell). She has no apologies for this, for falling asleep during the shoot, and for being completely unprofessional. She even talks about how much she loves the pictures. All is rose-colored in Melissa's world.
All in all, I don't even care that much that she was a party girl, rather than squeaky-clean like one of her characters (my childhood role models). Frankly, I'm more affronted by the fact that she's a GOP supporter. The thing I'm most disappointed about is that the book focused so much on the partying and her relationships (the facts, more than the experiences), but not on her work. I would love to hear more about the behind-the-scenes stories from Sabrina and Clarissa, two of my favorite childhood shows. She glosses over these things, spending more time talking about her immediate success, winning personality, and consistently wonderful career in the abstract (complete with lots of superficial name dropping). Even football, a sport she watches only for her obsessed husband, is given more book time that the stuff I would be interested in. I mean, I know it's her autobiography, but sheesh! It would have been better if her "dark" habits had been presented as a contrast to her shiny success, but she obviously doesn't see it that way. To Melissa, her whole life is one big success story. Everything is given a positive spin, absolutely everything.
I feel like she should write a second memoir, filling in all the spaces she left out with this one: behind the scenes stuff, how she felt about her work and co-stars, and how being a child star changed her. That's a book I would love to read. I saw an interview she did about the birth of her first child, and that seemed so much more real to me than this. She didn't gloss over the bad, painful bits. Why wasn't there any of that here?
I feel like I'm finally back to writing reviews and they are all negative. I need to do one of a book I loved...
February 25, 2015
"...but with my first significant smooch out of the way, I was free to make out to my Hart's delight."
Sentences like these are what make this book a fail.
Like other reviewers mentioned, Melissa breezes over her time as Clarissa (and even Sabrina), leaving out the fun details that most fans sought when picking up this book. To top it off, she jumps around constantly - in one chapter she talks about being 17 and in the next she talks about being 14 and then jumps back again. I'm not sure why she couldn't keep her memoir in chronological order. After realizing I had made it half way through this book with nothing interesting, I then hit the snooze fest of her marriage - how many pages can one person write about her husband's obsession with college football and her quest to be the perfect "football widow"?
Melissa, please stop explaining. Call Corey Feldman and let him explain instead.
Sentences like these are what make this book a fail.
Like other reviewers mentioned, Melissa breezes over her time as Clarissa (and even Sabrina), leaving out the fun details that most fans sought when picking up this book. To top it off, she jumps around constantly - in one chapter she talks about being 17 and in the next she talks about being 14 and then jumps back again. I'm not sure why she couldn't keep her memoir in chronological order. After realizing I had made it half way through this book with nothing interesting, I then hit the snooze fest of her marriage - how many pages can one person write about her husband's obsession with college football and her quest to be the perfect "football widow"?
Melissa, please stop explaining. Call Corey Feldman and let him explain instead.
August 11, 2014
I found this book full of humour and empathy, the book I assume is directed to woman but still am enjoyable read full of enquiring sentence's, one liners, east to understand antidote's, as fir the empathy, look at page 155. lower paragraph ... young star coming to celebrity status , and those of the future .a fair discrepancy ..( that boys are have a device that make them cheat ?... some girls do also) yet adolescence is a learning curve ..... if it isn't.... sorry for you ... she has a supportive mum more than once in her life and who discover an opportunity that made the "big time" read the book for the reason, also to find out "who" keep saying ( why did you turn out so normal)... yeah..... Melisa explained it al
March 15, 2018
DNF, I would not be surprised if the motivation behind the existence of this book is just to make us readers know how great she is and make us read 276 pages of pure horn tooting. This one was heavy on the name drops and didn’t offer me anything I went in excited to hear about.
May 11, 2024
I think this is a 3.5
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