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Only When I Laugh: My Autobiography
Known for his intelligent and often surreal humour, Paul Merton’s weekly appearances on BBC1’s Have I Got News For You – as well as Radio 4’s Just A Minute and his travel documentaries –have seen him become an artfully rebellious fixture in our lives for over 25 years.
He also has a real story to tell. In Only When I Laugh, his rich and beautifully-observed autobiography, Paul takes us on an evocative journey from his working-class Fulham childhood to the present day.
Whether writing about school days, his run-ins with the nuns and other pupils; his disastrous first confession; his meatpacking job; taking acid; leaving home to live in bedsit; his early brushes with the opposite sex – and not forgetting his repeated attempts to break into the world of comedy – Paul’s writing is always funny, poignant and revealing. And when his star finally ascends in the atmospherically drawn 1980s alternative cabaret scene there is a sense of excitement, energy, camaraderie, momentum and dramatic impending success…
…And then CRASH! In an unflinching and brilliantly written section that defines the book, we experience the disorienting and terrifying sustained manic episode that he suffered which landed him in the Maudesley hospital. These, and other tougher moments, are written about candidly and with sensitivity and honesty.
Yet throughout Only When I Laugh, Paul Merton succeeds in telling his life story entertainingly, with warmth, humour and a big bucket load of wit. Ultimately uplifting, it is the story of a fascinating life, brilliantly told -- and one of the best memoirs of the year.
He also has a real story to tell. In Only When I Laugh, his rich and beautifully-observed autobiography, Paul takes us on an evocative journey from his working-class Fulham childhood to the present day.
Whether writing about school days, his run-ins with the nuns and other pupils; his disastrous first confession; his meatpacking job; taking acid; leaving home to live in bedsit; his early brushes with the opposite sex – and not forgetting his repeated attempts to break into the world of comedy – Paul’s writing is always funny, poignant and revealing. And when his star finally ascends in the atmospherically drawn 1980s alternative cabaret scene there is a sense of excitement, energy, camaraderie, momentum and dramatic impending success…
…And then CRASH! In an unflinching and brilliantly written section that defines the book, we experience the disorienting and terrifying sustained manic episode that he suffered which landed him in the Maudesley hospital. These, and other tougher moments, are written about candidly and with sensitivity and honesty.
Yet throughout Only When I Laugh, Paul Merton succeeds in telling his life story entertainingly, with warmth, humour and a big bucket load of wit. Ultimately uplifting, it is the story of a fascinating life, brilliantly told -- and one of the best memoirs of the year.
344 pages, Hardcover
First published September 26, 2013
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432 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews
August 5, 2021
I never really liked Paul Merton much, considering him a bit of a smart-arse and kind of condescending to people of opposing political (Right Wing) beliefs, so when I saw this book I took the opportunity to find out more about him. Like so many comedy greats it turns out comedy has always been a part of his life, and he was just as much a comedy historian as many of his peers. The book overall is like a good old fashioned biography running from his childhood to his eventual success, but with such a jam-packed full career it feels like it should have been much longer and gone in to a lot more detail than the (big) collection of anecdotes that this is. Asides from that there are quite a lot of great one-liners and comedic situations that made me laugh out loud. Overall though it does feel quite sanitised and PR proofed, either that or Paul Merton is just a very nice man :). 7 out of 12
July 1, 2015
Always a favourite of mine, I probably saw everything he did from 1989-95 on telly from Whose line through his series and HIGNFY. But you don't really read these sort of books without liking the author do you? He's had an interesting time - even if his schooldays stories are not much more interesting than anyone else's really. There's a warmth in his writing which is good, and he's very open about his own failings or his difficult relationship with his father. His account of his breakdown is told well - full of detail, but with the distance of hindsight - and while the malaria tablets he was taking may well have been the instigator, I applaud that he's open enough to think they were not the sole one.
But as with similar books, he's very open about himself only, but less so about other people, saving modesty, or anonymising anyone criticised in most cases. He writes very well about his wider friendships without this becoming a checklist of people, or continual assertions of how great he and X are. And a word I'd never quite have thought of first, but there's a sense of dignity running through the book - he comes across less flighty as he does on tv, and a thoroughly decent bloke.
But as with similar books, he's very open about himself only, but less so about other people, saving modesty, or anonymising anyone criticised in most cases. He writes very well about his wider friendships without this becoming a checklist of people, or continual assertions of how great he and X are. And a word I'd never quite have thought of first, but there's a sense of dignity running through the book - he comes across less flighty as he does on tv, and a thoroughly decent bloke.
December 1, 2014
Paul Merton's autobiography is well written, and he mostly comes across the same way that he does on TV, telling of his childhood and his lucky break followed by his rise to stardom.
I found it to be a gripping read, and I loved how he developed his surreal sense of humour very early on, writing very tall stories about what he did in his school holidays and then getting into trouble when it rubbed off on other kids. The depiction of the strict Catholic school I attended was very striking.
However, the best bit was probably his account of spending time in a psychiatric hospital following a breakdown; like many TV personalities, you sense that he has a slightly troubled background, and the brutal honesty about how he coped came across very well, as did the stories of his previous marriages, one of which ended when his wife passed away.
Overall, I loved this book and thought it was one of the best autobiographies I've read.
I found it to be a gripping read, and I loved how he developed his surreal sense of humour very early on, writing very tall stories about what he did in his school holidays and then getting into trouble when it rubbed off on other kids. The depiction of the strict Catholic school I attended was very striking.
However, the best bit was probably his account of spending time in a psychiatric hospital following a breakdown; like many TV personalities, you sense that he has a slightly troubled background, and the brutal honesty about how he coped came across very well, as did the stories of his previous marriages, one of which ended when his wife passed away.
Overall, I loved this book and thought it was one of the best autobiographies I've read.
December 1, 2017
Paul Merton is one of those comedians that everyone likes, but isn't many peoples absolute favourite. This autobiography is in much the same boat, likeable but not one of the absolute best.
Paul comes across well, as a normal bloke who longed for a career in comedy but had no idea on how to go about it. Like many others he got a lucky break and never looked back.
He talks well about his career, but seems a lot more guarded about his family life. He didn't go into much detail about his first or third wives. He basically says he met them, got on well, they fell in love, got married, and in the case of Caroline Quinten, got divorced. That's it. This may link back to his childhood where there wasn't much showing of affection or discussion on feelings.
He did go into more detail about his mental episode, and this was explained pretty well.
All-in-all, an enjoyable read from an enjoyable comedian, I just feel he could have gone a little deeper.
Paul comes across well, as a normal bloke who longed for a career in comedy but had no idea on how to go about it. Like many others he got a lucky break and never looked back.
He talks well about his career, but seems a lot more guarded about his family life. He didn't go into much detail about his first or third wives. He basically says he met them, got on well, they fell in love, got married, and in the case of Caroline Quinten, got divorced. That's it. This may link back to his childhood where there wasn't much showing of affection or discussion on feelings.
He did go into more detail about his mental episode, and this was explained pretty well.
All-in-all, an enjoyable read from an enjoyable comedian, I just feel he could have gone a little deeper.
July 13, 2015
The main message from Merton in this book is that humour is hard work, and standup has to be honed. He is serious and dedicated to his craft, and it comes across strongly. If you're looking for a kiss-and-tell book, this is not for you - he gives a passing mention to his marriage to Caroline Quentin, and talks briefly of his second wife's illness and death, but everything is in the context of his work. I enjoyed hearing about his background, his experiences in show business, and his relationships (especially HIGNFY) am the more respectful of his work ethos and quick wit.
November 23, 2014
An enjoyable autobiography somewhat spoiled by a lack of detail. All the way through this book you felt like Paul was holding back and you only got to see just below the surface. There was very little details about his time of Have I Got News For You, or Just A Minute, and nothing of any note about the TV series he did about different Countries. Would have been so much better if he had gone a little deeper into things. Still glad I read it though.
December 23, 2015
You'd think Paul Merton's autobiography would be a laugh-riot. You'd be wrong. It's a fairly uninspiring, dully written work, taking the reader from A to B to C, with little wit along the way, and very little insight into Have I Got News For You and other shows. He's had interesting events to deal with in his life, but it's all so ploddingly told that there's not much emotional impact. A disappointment.
April 14, 2016
I gave this book 5* mainly because I'm a huge fan of Paul's, and also because it was so entertaining. It's well-written, very funny, and a modest description of how he fulfilled his aspiration of being a comedian and more. Lovely book.
April 7, 2019
I tore straight through this book in the course of a weekend. Merton talks mostly about his craft and the hard work that goes into making comedy look easy, without leaning on "magic moments" of meeting Celebrity X and having it all just come together and catapult him into fame, as some other famous comics have done. While he does weave what are obviously joke events into the text, he resists the temptation to insert "fame anecdotes" and pretend they really happened. Yes, I'm looking right at you, Julie Walters.
One of the strongest impressions I came away with about Merton's childhood is how mean-spirited his father was; he couldn't teach the kid how to play table tennis, he had to use each bout with his son to reassert his dominance, "smashing" shots past him till the boy was pleading for his dad to give him a chance. Though Merton plays it low-key, you can tell it still rankles, especially when he relates how he brought up the table-tennis in his wedding speech until "the glint of anger" in his father's eye made him change the subject. No wonder he repeatedly states that he "wanted to praise his father but couldn't find a way to do it." The episode with the donkey illustrates that his father's passive aggression was not limited to ping pong. Merton starts out as the classic class-clown, but unlike some I grew up with, learns that there's a difference between wit and scoring off others.
I would have liked greater detail about some of his non-HIGNFY productions, such as the series he did in China, but I suppose covering 40 years of professional life means that some things have to be cut, and of course his British public is more interested in the long-running series that is still going strong today.
Many UK-produced showbiz biographies share a certain style that tell you they were ghost-written; this one may have had some help along the way, but a strong point in the book's favour is that I could hear Merton's voice in my head narrating the stories. He doesn't emphasise family relationships or interaction, but then that's not the purpose of the book.
One of the strongest impressions I came away with about Merton's childhood is how mean-spirited his father was; he couldn't teach the kid how to play table tennis, he had to use each bout with his son to reassert his dominance, "smashing" shots past him till the boy was pleading for his dad to give him a chance. Though Merton plays it low-key, you can tell it still rankles, especially when he relates how he brought up the table-tennis in his wedding speech until "the glint of anger" in his father's eye made him change the subject. No wonder he repeatedly states that he "wanted to praise his father but couldn't find a way to do it." The episode with the donkey illustrates that his father's passive aggression was not limited to ping pong. Merton starts out as the classic class-clown, but unlike some I grew up with, learns that there's a difference between wit and scoring off others.
I would have liked greater detail about some of his non-HIGNFY productions, such as the series he did in China, but I suppose covering 40 years of professional life means that some things have to be cut, and of course his British public is more interested in the long-running series that is still going strong today.
Many UK-produced showbiz biographies share a certain style that tell you they were ghost-written; this one may have had some help along the way, but a strong point in the book's favour is that I could hear Merton's voice in my head narrating the stories. He doesn't emphasise family relationships or interaction, but then that's not the purpose of the book.
May 16, 2018
One of the things that I like about comedy is that there seems to be a taste that suits everyone from Mrs Brown’s Boys, all the way to something that is actually watchable. Some people enjoy puns, others slapstick. If you are willing to look for it, the chances are that something will make you laugh. The ease in which you can discover comedy was not always as simple as the internet and in past years access was dominated by The Footlights and other educated fellows. However, in many cases it is the oddballs that managed to sneak through that provide the best laughs. Paul Merton may be an established and quite safe pair of comedy hands, but if you think about him, he is a bit of an oddball.
‘Only When I Laugh’ is a pleasant and intelligent autobiography that in perfect keeping with the man himself. Merton’s humble background, combined with his love of old comedians meant that he never really felt like he fitted in with the raucous crowd. It did not really enter his consciousness for a long time that someone like him could get paid for being a comedian and that is why the book is so interesting.
The path between Merton and fame is not actually filled with that many pitfalls and in the grand scheme of things he did well for himself at a decent pace. The book works through his childhood to the present day and like with many lives it has its ups and downs. The best comedy autobiographies are often as funny as the person writing it, but also have a little pathos. ‘Laugh’ certainly has both of these. I actually think that the book was a little safe at times and Merton’s voice is a little standoffish, just like the straight man persona he uses on ‘Have I Got News for You’.
The book really comes to the fore in the darker times in Merton’s life. I knew little about him so read about his time being sectioned and the death of a partner had impact. Merton seemed to take these things in his stride in the same way that he also takes his successes. This makes for a methodical and detailed book, but does lack a little passion in places.
‘Only When I Laugh’ is a pleasant and intelligent autobiography that in perfect keeping with the man himself. Merton’s humble background, combined with his love of old comedians meant that he never really felt like he fitted in with the raucous crowd. It did not really enter his consciousness for a long time that someone like him could get paid for being a comedian and that is why the book is so interesting.
The path between Merton and fame is not actually filled with that many pitfalls and in the grand scheme of things he did well for himself at a decent pace. The book works through his childhood to the present day and like with many lives it has its ups and downs. The best comedy autobiographies are often as funny as the person writing it, but also have a little pathos. ‘Laugh’ certainly has both of these. I actually think that the book was a little safe at times and Merton’s voice is a little standoffish, just like the straight man persona he uses on ‘Have I Got News for You’.
The book really comes to the fore in the darker times in Merton’s life. I knew little about him so read about his time being sectioned and the death of a partner had impact. Merton seemed to take these things in his stride in the same way that he also takes his successes. This makes for a methodical and detailed book, but does lack a little passion in places.
December 28, 2014
I absolutely laugh (love) Paul Merton's humor on Have I Got News For You, the absurd way he constructs entire stories from simple cues. Being a comic also gives him a certain talent for storytelling (which comes in handy when writing a book). I am biased in my opinion, because I was really interested in his life and in someone discussing the art and craft of comedy. I can understand why someone else would find this boring, but I now have a list of great people to go search out I had never heard of before.
Read if: you are interested in either Paul Merton (he has included quite some early material) or british comedy of the 1980s and 1990s (because the balance between accounts of work and private life felt sort of 70/30 at times).
Read if: you are interested in either Paul Merton (he has included quite some early material) or british comedy of the 1980s and 1990s (because the balance between accounts of work and private life felt sort of 70/30 at times).
August 29, 2015
For such an amusing guy, this was quite dull and a bit of a disappointment.
Went to see Paul Merton at the Edinburgh Book Festival where he spoke about the book but in that hour, he really covered all of the best parts.
Did enjoy this anecdote from "Have I Got News for You" though:
"At one point in the same show, Glenda Jackson was asked what her school motto was. She wasn't sure if the question was being addressed to her, so she said "Are you looking at me ?" To which I replied "That must have been a tough school". "
Went to see Paul Merton at the Edinburgh Book Festival where he spoke about the book but in that hour, he really covered all of the best parts.
Did enjoy this anecdote from "Have I Got News for You" though:
"At one point in the same show, Glenda Jackson was asked what her school motto was. She wasn't sure if the question was being addressed to her, so she said "Are you looking at me ?" To which I replied "That must have been a tough school". "
February 23, 2016
I have always enjoyed Paul's sense of humour and had been meaning to read this for a while. This edition pictured is not the one I read. I read the hardback. I found it very easy to read and it read in just the way he speaks. I knew about certain aspects of his life and this certainly covered those for me and filled in other gaps. I found the parts about recording tv and radio the most interesting.
I did however feel it lacked a little bit of smoothness in places and could have benefited from some better transitions between sections.
However, all in all, an entertaining read.
I did however feel it lacked a little bit of smoothness in places and could have benefited from some better transitions between sections.
However, all in all, an entertaining read.
October 16, 2014
Not scintillating prose, but what a story. An absorbing and at times very moving account of working class discrimination, a life of hard work and devotion to the art of comedy, a love story about silent film, and a fascinating insider account of the 80s alternative comedy scene by one of its most important protagonists. Part social history, part memoir. Morden will always be a little more interesting now.
November 18, 2014
servicable. Merton has had a very interesting life , he is very funny and one of the best ways of spending time on radio 4.
my issue is that it never hits any nerve , merton has and interesting chip that occasionally he lets out onto his shoulder but it never seems to make you feel fully engaged.
June 13, 2016
A generally enjoyable and easy read. The focus on how he crafted and honed his comedy is by far the strongest facet of this memoir. I did have a slight problem with his tendency to only really go into detail about areas of professional success and gloss over endeavours that may not have been as successful.
November 30, 2016
Not one of my favourite comedians, but this book does give a personal insight into the journey along the rocky road to comedy success. It also throws up a few surprises, funny and at times, sad, about Paul that I never knew about. Won't give anything away, but the side effects of a malaria jab before he went on holiday makes for a disturbing and interesting read.
June 19, 2017
An interesting insight into the life of a now National Treasure. A little light on some details but I'm sure he could fill volumes with "tales from the Comedy Store" and similar and not all of it would interest the general public.
Tough to read in sections when Paul is frank about his struggles but eye-opening at the same time.
Tough to read in sections when Paul is frank about his struggles but eye-opening at the same time.
October 16, 2014
Paul Merton recounts his life story with familiar wit and humility, from being a shy schoolboy with comedic ambitions, through his early introduction and five-year plan (which worked out beautifully), through illness and tragedy, triumph and success, this is a great read.
November 16, 2014
Having seen Paul on HIGNFY, Room 101 and Whose Line Is It anyway? I was intrigued to know more about the man. I respected him before and more so now. His wit and intelligence make him one of the UK's top comedians. His autobiography is both funny and sad in places and well worth a read.
November 20, 2014
have always been a fan of Paul Merton since the Who's line is it anyway days. the stories around that and have I got news for you were the most interesting to me.
The book was a very easy read and held my attention all the way through. If you find Merton in anyway funny you will enjoy this book.
The book was a very easy read and held my attention all the way through. If you find Merton in anyway funny you will enjoy this book.
January 23, 2015
Beautifully written - I started reading it standing up in the library and when I found myself still there ten minutes later, having not moved, I realised I had better commit and borrow it and read the whole thing. A lovely and very human account.
April 5, 2015
An excellent, modest, and interesting account of someone who worked very hard for his success. Had more heart and emotion than I expected to see. Highly recommended. And uses his own voice -- no evidence whatever that it has been ghost-written.
July 15, 2015
An enjoyable read that flows very well. The narrative encapsulates other comedy characters & friends of Paul Merton in the same time frame. My only criticism is that it's a bit short and brief. It would have been better if some of the sections were expanded upon.
November 23, 2015
A very interesting look at Paul Merton away from the cameras and the journey he went on to become one of the UK's funniest comedians.
Mental health issues and the break up of marriages and relationship described in raw detail. Then losing his last wife to cancer.
Bittersweet and funny read.
Mental health issues and the break up of marriages and relationship described in raw detail. Then losing his last wife to cancer.
Bittersweet and funny read.
September 4, 2016
Devoured this in one sitting. An easy very entertaining read about a very clever and self effacing man. I read it in 'his voice' so it was like he was in conversation with me. I enjoyed this book a lot.
June 13, 2016
A blooming good read - didn't want to put it down. A very honest and open account by a very funny man. Always pacy and often 'laugh out loud'. I love Paul's quirky sense of humour. It's good that he now gets the recognition he deserves.
October 7, 2016
I wasn't planning to read this straight away, but when I looked at the first line, I was pulled into the wardrobe and not released until the final page, when I was left with a tear in my eye and a smile on my face.
3.5 stars
3.5 stars
March 29, 2018
I love Paul Merton but found this a little uninvolving. Very good about his psychotic episode but a little shallow apart from that. I enjoyed reading it but it was pretty run of the mill. I suppose I thought that a prince of impro and writer of fine comedy would produce something more memorable.
October 20, 2014
Generally a good read but I skimmed over some of the details at times.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 63 reviews