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Splitsville
Splitsville : a 21st century screwball comedy about the employees, clients and victims of a company in Manhattan that breaks up relationships for people who can't say the words "It's over." Chester wants to break up with his fiancee, Sara. Holly wants revenge on Felix for breaking up with her. And she's starting to develop a crush on Charlie. Charlie thinks it would be better for Sallie if she left the man in her life. Thurston wants to have a baby with Lainey because a TV executive thinks it will be good for ratings. But Marvin the Millionaire Meat King wants Thurston and Lainey busted up. Lainey still has feelings for Charlie. Charlie's falling for Adelaide. And Adelaide's married to Rob. Luckily, there's a company that can work all this out for everybody and send them to the happiest place on earth ... Welcome to Splitsville.
- GenresFiction
364 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2013
2 people are currently reading
215 people want to read
About the author
Sean Condon
16 books30 followersSince 1996 I have published seven books, beginning with the genre-busting travelogue 'Sean & David's Long Drive' up to 2013's comic novel 'Splitsville', my most accomplished work so far. I've also had work in many anthologies, including 'The Best of McSweeney's Humor'. I also co-wrote an episode of an excellent and very funny sitcom which was made into a non-excellent and mostly terrible pilot (abysmal direction was to blame) as well as several quite-good feature screenplays, one of which was very nearly produced by Michael Bay. I've had columns and articles in newspapers and magazines all around the world. 'Sean & David's Long Drive' was short-listed for the WA Premier's Award and I've received three Australia Council literature grants. All of it while failing to carve out a successful career in advertising.
I live in Melbourne with my wife and daughter. (We have no pets but I promise that if we did we'd have a dog or cat, whichever is your preference.)
Books
Sean & David's Long Drive (Lonely Planet Journeys. 1996)
In 1995 my friend David O'Brien and I drove around the eastern half of Australia in an old Ford or Holden or something. (It was definitely light blue.) This very popular book, which was reprinted nine times, is the result.
"One of the funniest road stories in print." Toronto Globe and Mail
"Funny, pithy, kitch and surreal." Time Out London
"I enjoyed it immensely." Bill Bryson
"Condon can be quite funny." Times Literary Supplement
"An amusingly subversive commentary on stereotypical travel writing... shrewd as well as funny." The Age
"Condon is a cool wit who comes off like Hunter S Thompson on prescription drugs." The Australian
Drive Thru America (Lonely Planet Journeys. 1998)
In 1996, David O'Brien and I, still friends despite the previous year's ordeal, made the mistake of driving around the United States in a rented Chrysler Neon (white). We didn't have much fun. The book has an excellent cover - designed and painted by David - and is genre-busting and brilliant.
"Funny and high on popular culture, it is one of the most accurate accounts of how travellers really experience America, and the most fun." The Times (U.K)
"When it's good [it] reaches well-paced brilliance." The Independent On Sunday (U.K)
"Hilarious." The Philadelphia Enquirer
"Hilarious and cruel." Elle magazine
"Tedious, self-indulgent, unrelentingly unrewarding... a cautionary example of exactly how not to write a book about a road trip across the United States." Sonoma County Independent
My Dam Life (Lonely Planet Journeys. 2003)
A hilarious - and yet frequently moving - account of my first three years in Amsterdam with my wife Sally. Parts of it were even quoted in a speech by the Dutch prime minister, Jan Peter Balkenende, in April 2006. It is an excellent book - in fact, my very best. If you're thinking about going to Amsterdam then this is a great point of reference for you. Although it's more of a memoir than a travel book it is nevertheless full of interesting information about Amsterdam and, to a lesser degree, me. It's also pretty funny.
"Fans of offbeat travel literature rejoice! Stylistically and philosophically, Condon is as close to Bill Bryson as it's possible to be. He mixes fascinating facts with hilarious humor... and keeps us thoroughly in stitches from beginning to end. This one's an absolute must-read." Booklist
"A smart and funny book." San Francisco Chronicle
"Condon is a humorous chap from Australia who writes humorous books... in a David Sedaris sort of way - dry and ironic with a skewed sense of the absurdity of it all." Chicago Tribune
Film (4th Estate. 2003.)
A semi-autobiographical novel about obsession, ambition, failure and redemption. With a beautiful cover.
"A stunning tragi-comedy." Vogue
"Funny and touching... On present form [Condon] is a storyteller who will be delighting us for many years to come." The Bulletin magazine
"Notably lucid and imaginative... whim
I live in Melbourne with my wife and daughter. (We have no pets but I promise that if we did we'd have a dog or cat, whichever is your preference.)
Books
Sean & David's Long Drive (Lonely Planet Journeys. 1996)
In 1995 my friend David O'Brien and I drove around the eastern half of Australia in an old Ford or Holden or something. (It was definitely light blue.) This very popular book, which was reprinted nine times, is the result.
"One of the funniest road stories in print." Toronto Globe and Mail
"Funny, pithy, kitch and surreal." Time Out London
"I enjoyed it immensely." Bill Bryson
"Condon can be quite funny." Times Literary Supplement
"An amusingly subversive commentary on stereotypical travel writing... shrewd as well as funny." The Age
"Condon is a cool wit who comes off like Hunter S Thompson on prescription drugs." The Australian
Drive Thru America (Lonely Planet Journeys. 1998)
In 1996, David O'Brien and I, still friends despite the previous year's ordeal, made the mistake of driving around the United States in a rented Chrysler Neon (white). We didn't have much fun. The book has an excellent cover - designed and painted by David - and is genre-busting and brilliant.
"Funny and high on popular culture, it is one of the most accurate accounts of how travellers really experience America, and the most fun." The Times (U.K)
"When it's good [it] reaches well-paced brilliance." The Independent On Sunday (U.K)
"Hilarious." The Philadelphia Enquirer
"Hilarious and cruel." Elle magazine
"Tedious, self-indulgent, unrelentingly unrewarding... a cautionary example of exactly how not to write a book about a road trip across the United States." Sonoma County Independent
My Dam Life (Lonely Planet Journeys. 2003)
A hilarious - and yet frequently moving - account of my first three years in Amsterdam with my wife Sally. Parts of it were even quoted in a speech by the Dutch prime minister, Jan Peter Balkenende, in April 2006. It is an excellent book - in fact, my very best. If you're thinking about going to Amsterdam then this is a great point of reference for you. Although it's more of a memoir than a travel book it is nevertheless full of interesting information about Amsterdam and, to a lesser degree, me. It's also pretty funny.
"Fans of offbeat travel literature rejoice! Stylistically and philosophically, Condon is as close to Bill Bryson as it's possible to be. He mixes fascinating facts with hilarious humor... and keeps us thoroughly in stitches from beginning to end. This one's an absolute must-read." Booklist
"A smart and funny book." San Francisco Chronicle
"Condon is a humorous chap from Australia who writes humorous books... in a David Sedaris sort of way - dry and ironic with a skewed sense of the absurdity of it all." Chicago Tribune
Film (4th Estate. 2003.)
A semi-autobiographical novel about obsession, ambition, failure and redemption. With a beautiful cover.
"A stunning tragi-comedy." Vogue
"Funny and touching... On present form [Condon] is a storyteller who will be delighting us for many years to come." The Bulletin magazine
"Notably lucid and imaginative... whim
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
January 4, 2014
A whipsmart screwball satire, honestly LOLworthy, and with dialogue worthy of whoever might be this generation's Katherine Hepburn (Amy Adams? Lake Bell?). The premise is golden, the action rattles along at a furious clip, and it packs in an extravagantly high ratio of gags per page. Having grown up reading Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, I expect a lot from comic novels ("The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared", for example, left me feeling pretty betrayed) so this one here is highly recommended.
The Albanian Spinster Pillow Fight was one of their most effective operations - subtle, swift and emotionally merciful. But another scheme from a few months earlier offered a superb finishing touch. "Just add the banana movement from Sayonara Lunchtray, and bang - Splitsville." (p49)
"Jeepers, you've got me all wound up, Addy." It was true; the sheet was now coiled and twisted, snaking in and out of Rob's arms and legs like a cotton cobra. "I'm all confused. Here." He pointed to his head. "And here." He pointed to his groin. (p44)
There was "Liver & Onions & Liver" and "Haddock served in Aspic" and something called "Estimation of Quail". The menu of "Traditional Noord-Hollandse" cuisine was discouraging enough but the smell coming from the kitchen really put the lid on dinner - somebody out there was boiling dark nappies in milk, Elodie was sure of it. (p246)
Steve Lamont held up a warning finger. "Don't do that. Talking about yourself in the third person is Steve Lamont's thing." (p224)
July 29, 2016
Splitsville is a farce. The kind of good, old-fashioned, screwball comedy that seems as if, were it to be turned into a movie, it would be in black and white and feature either Jack Lemmon or Myrna Loy (It's even got a dog named Asta!) And that's not a bad thing at all.
Author Sean Condon shows a real flair for the nonsensical as the various and diverse characters follow arcs and coincidence after improbable coincidence to end up at a birthday party only to find out not just who dunnit, but what, exactly, it is that they dun. Along the way, Mr. Condon throws in jokes, puns, and enough alliteration to stun a, well, anyway.
Really, it's a thoroughly entertaining book and probably my personal favorite of Mr. Condon's since Drive Thru America. Recommended for anyone who's ever stayed up too late watching old movies.
Author Sean Condon shows a real flair for the nonsensical as the various and diverse characters follow arcs and coincidence after improbable coincidence to end up at a birthday party only to find out not just who dunnit, but what, exactly, it is that they dun. Along the way, Mr. Condon throws in jokes, puns, and enough alliteration to stun a, well, anyway.
Really, it's a thoroughly entertaining book and probably my personal favorite of Mr. Condon's since Drive Thru America. Recommended for anyone who's ever stayed up too late watching old movies.
June 11, 2013
Eclectic mix of charicters takes you to a very funny place, where you quite frankly end up laughing out loud in a coffee shop much to your own shock horror.
Sean Condon has been one of my favourite writers since his series of travel books for Lonely Planet. His dry sarcastic wit combined with keen character discriptions made Splitsville for me. You find a piece of yourself in all characters of this book, no matter how mental they seem at first. Besides the wicked sense of humor I seem to share with the author, I loved the orginality of the story and how all these somewhat excentric characters ended up in one story.
Brilliant and entertaining read.
Sean Condon has been one of my favourite writers since his series of travel books for Lonely Planet. His dry sarcastic wit combined with keen character discriptions made Splitsville for me. You find a piece of yourself in all characters of this book, no matter how mental they seem at first. Besides the wicked sense of humor I seem to share with the author, I loved the orginality of the story and how all these somewhat excentric characters ended up in one story.
Brilliant and entertaining read.
June 23, 2013
Condon knows how to put together an ensemble of characters for a fun and engaging comedy exploring the modern nature of relationships.
His peculiar mix of optimistic misanthropy brings a realism to his characters and credibility to the story telling.
It's a light read, taking the audience on a journey reminiscent of a Preston Sturges or Howard Hawks comedy. That means I recommend it.
His peculiar mix of optimistic misanthropy brings a realism to his characters and credibility to the story telling.
It's a light read, taking the audience on a journey reminiscent of a Preston Sturges or Howard Hawks comedy. That means I recommend it.
May 15, 2015
I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
The comical characters made this book an easy read. I loved that there were several different plot lines that eventually intersected. It is a great summer read.
The comical characters made this book an easy read. I loved that there were several different plot lines that eventually intersected. It is a great summer read.
December 23, 2013
'He's just not that into you' meets 'Arrested Development' meets 'The Game'(yes that Michael Douglas film).
LOL in parts.
Would make a fantastic TV series.
A whip smart satirist for our times...
July 1, 2013
Perfect holiday reading
June 16, 2014
clever storyline, hilarious, great characters
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews