"I want to be with you, Johanna. Whatever it takes to get you to trust me again, I'll do."
I didn't like this book. Johanna is a widow with two children (5 and 3), her drunk wife-beater husband committed suicide. Roland is a widower with one son (4). His wife died from diabetes.
Roland wants to marry Johanna. He's always loved her. Johanna is on the fence.
One of the reasons this book annoyed me was all the flip-flopping Johanna does. She loves him. She doesn't love him. She loves him. She doesn't love him. She wants to marry him. She doesn't want to marry him. She wants to marry him. She doesn't want to marry him. She wants to marry him. This got SO ANNOYING. I was with her for about 2/3 of the book, then I lost patience with her. MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND. It wasn't fair to him, either, jerking him left and right like this.
And let's talk about the horrible patriarchy and Christianity in this book. It's DISGUSTING. Women can't vote and have no say in things. Women are servants to their husbands. Men who are widowed live in filth and eat trash because NO man can be expected to cook or clean. ONLY women can do these things. If a man's wife dies, he just lies down in his own shit and eats bologna until a woman comes along to clean his house or cook him something. If a woman is married to a drunken wifebeater, she's just got to live with it. Marriage is forever, divorce is forbidden. If he beats her and her children... well, just pray for him, I guess. It's God's will. Women have to obey their husband and he makes all the decisions for the family. If he decides to move to another state, Wife must just obey and move. Her thoughts, opinions, wishes, and desires don't matter.
Now. Tons of societies exist like this nowadays, but it bothers me that evangelical Christian writers seem to glamorize, praise, admire, and be in awe of these systems. It's really, deeply disturbing to me. It bothers me that they see this life as cheerful, simple, happy, and comforting. It sounds like A FUCKING NIGHTMARE to me, to be honest. Idealizing and longing for this kind of life repulses me. UGH.
Now, who knows about the actual Amish, obviously Miller isn't Amish.
They also have some deep shame issues in this Christianity. For instance, Johanna thinks about how she makes yummy fried fish. Then she feels shame and scolds herself because that is the sin of pride. Roland wants a wife who loves him and whom he is in love with. Then he scolds himself and feels deep shame because that isn't Christian. Loving your wife is sinful and also unnecessary. Roland also feels guilty because he doesn't beat his son to discipline him, the way the church teaches him, but he can't bring himself to strike a child. This makes him a bad father.
It's garbage like this that makes me think Johanna and Roland should run away from this society - far, far away. I'm supposed to believe - like evangelical Christians who write this and devour this believe - that this is a wholesome, God-fearing, Christian, upright, moral, ethical society. But in reality it is so scary and dark. I'm kind of dumbstruck that people don't see this. SO... Johanna was married to a drunken wifebeater. What if he hadn't killed himself? She and her children would live in fear of him for the rest of their lives. He might have killed her son. Accidentally or not. And even if people know about the abuse, she's not allowed to get a divorce. THIS is your wholesome, Christian society that you are idealizing??!!?!?! Roland being raised and taught that loving your wife and marrying for love is SINFUL?! I mean... what the fuck!?!?!!? What kind of nightmarish dystopia is this?!?!!?
Well, between my reeling from the complete nightmare that is Amish society as Miller presents it and the heroine driving me UP THE WALL by acting like an indecisive, foolish 15-year-old rather than a widow and a mother of two... I couldn't stand this book.
This is nothing against Miller's writing. She actually writes pretty well for a Love Inspired novel. And I have to give her credit that it did seem like Roland and Johanna were romantically and sexually attracted to each other - that's a plus, and sorely lacking in other Christian romance novels.
~62 references to God
But overall it was a dud.
ROMANCE CATEGORIES:
Amish Romance
Contemporary Romance
Inspirational Romance
Second Chance Romance
Non-Virgin Heroine
Widower Hero
Widow Heroine
Abuse Survivor
He's a Farrier, She's a... nothing, I guess. Super-hard-working Amish woman, but no actual job title.