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Intersections: Transdisciplinary Perspectives on Genders and Sexualities
The Bully Society: School Shootings and the Crisis of Bullying in America’s Schools
Choice's Outstanding Academic Title list for 2013
In today's schools, kids bullying kids is not an occasional occurrence but rather an everyday reality where children learn early that being sensitive, respectful, and kind earns them no respect. Jessie Klein makes the provocative argument that the rise of school shootings across America, and childhood aggression more broadly, are the consequences of a society that actually promotes aggressive and competitive behavior. The Bully Society is a call to reclaim America's schools from the vicious cycle of aggression that threatens our children and our society at large.
Heartbreaking interviews illuminate how both boys and girls obtain status by acting "masculine"--displaying aggression at one another's expense as both students and adults police one another to uphold gender stereotypes. Klein shows that the aggressive ritual of gender policing in American culture creates emotional damage that perpetuates violence through revenge, and that this cycle is the main cause of not only the many school shootings that have shocked America, but also related problems in schools, manifesting in high rates of suicide, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self-cutting, truancy, and substance abuse. After two decades working in schools as a school social worker and professor, Klein proposes ways to transcend these destructive trends--transforming school bully societies into compassionate communities.
In today's schools, kids bullying kids is not an occasional occurrence but rather an everyday reality where children learn early that being sensitive, respectful, and kind earns them no respect. Jessie Klein makes the provocative argument that the rise of school shootings across America, and childhood aggression more broadly, are the consequences of a society that actually promotes aggressive and competitive behavior. The Bully Society is a call to reclaim America's schools from the vicious cycle of aggression that threatens our children and our society at large.
Heartbreaking interviews illuminate how both boys and girls obtain status by acting "masculine"--displaying aggression at one another's expense as both students and adults police one another to uphold gender stereotypes. Klein shows that the aggressive ritual of gender policing in American culture creates emotional damage that perpetuates violence through revenge, and that this cycle is the main cause of not only the many school shootings that have shocked America, but also related problems in schools, manifesting in high rates of suicide, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self-cutting, truancy, and substance abuse. After two decades working in schools as a school social worker and professor, Klein proposes ways to transcend these destructive trends--transforming school bully societies into compassionate communities.
318 pages, Paperback
First published March 1, 2012
18 people are currently reading
636 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
June 14, 2012
This book is an incredibly important read for parents, schools, and communities. I started out skeptical of this book. I had my own high school experiences and I've taught in three or four schools since that time. The examples she provides at the beginning of the book of bullying seemed unreal to me. I'm suspicious of her samples of students and the fact that most of them are probably from one secluded area of the Northeastern U.S. I certainly never experienced people who must own Hummers and Prada even though I lived in one of the wealthier districts of the suburbs of a large midwestern city. That is my one criticism of this novel that I don't think the students she talked to are really the typical case that she would like them to be. It comes off to me as fear-mongering to make people really horrified before they read the better part of the book. However, she is right about children being mean to each other and the need to combat those actions wherever possible.
She thoroughly explores a multitude of bullying situations between children, between adults, from children to adults, and from adults to children. I really was with her when she started to analyze the role of society in developing bullying and why it persists. The chapter on the U.S. versus Europe in terms of ways of dealing with bullying was probably the most fascinating because I have no experience with European schools. Did anyone else want to move to Denmark after reading about their society and methods of schooling? I am of the opinion as well that the response of the U.S. to bullying incidents is not effective and very harmful to a school environment so it was interesting to hear a different way. I think it would take a society-wide effort to start to make necessary changes in behavior because many students learn that it is okay at home long before they are ever in school. Parents, they learn by your example.
On a personal note, she's entirely right about teachers being bystanders most of the time. In my experience this is because no school that I've worked at trained its teachers to deal with bullying or were even clear about who to contact about an incident and what the consequences would be. This is incredibly frustrating for me because I'd love to see a whole school approach to change the situation and make sure that everybody together is committed to fighting bullying. Right now it seems the best I can do is model respect in my classroom and demand similar respect among my students. I'm hoping for an effective school-wide effort in the future.
She thoroughly explores a multitude of bullying situations between children, between adults, from children to adults, and from adults to children. I really was with her when she started to analyze the role of society in developing bullying and why it persists. The chapter on the U.S. versus Europe in terms of ways of dealing with bullying was probably the most fascinating because I have no experience with European schools. Did anyone else want to move to Denmark after reading about their society and methods of schooling? I am of the opinion as well that the response of the U.S. to bullying incidents is not effective and very harmful to a school environment so it was interesting to hear a different way. I think it would take a society-wide effort to start to make necessary changes in behavior because many students learn that it is okay at home long before they are ever in school. Parents, they learn by your example.
On a personal note, she's entirely right about teachers being bystanders most of the time. In my experience this is because no school that I've worked at trained its teachers to deal with bullying or were even clear about who to contact about an incident and what the consequences would be. This is incredibly frustrating for me because I'd love to see a whole school approach to change the situation and make sure that everybody together is committed to fighting bullying. Right now it seems the best I can do is model respect in my classroom and demand similar respect among my students. I'm hoping for an effective school-wide effort in the future.
September 27, 2012
All I could think while reading the first 1/3 of this book is "this is exactly why it is so important that DOMA is overturned." I had never known enough about US school shootings (or how very many there have been in the past 30 years) to know how large a role taunts and insinuations of insufficient masculinity or outright gay bashing -- of boys who weren't gay -- played in eroding the coping abilities of boys who ended up becoming shooters. Eradicating legal discrimination at the federal level won't immediately solve the daily hurdles of hyper-masculine bullying and marginalization so many kids have to face in middle and high school, but it's an important start. What motive does a hyper-masculine high schooler have to lay off the "soft" or "weak" or "skinny" boys when the US government itself enshrines the notion that gay men don't deserve equal status under the law?
The book is not in any sense an apologist for the numerous school shooters. Rather, it is a careful analysis of what conditions we now know have led to young adults believing that mass violence was the only way they could be heard, and armed with such knowledge, we can start to target those underlying conditions. For every shooter, there are dozens more whose suffering is equal but who don't take the final, violent step. For the safety of teachers, students and school employees, as well as for the unsung misery of those who don't lash out, it is important to understand and address the many causes of school violence.
The book is well-researched, with anecdotal data in addition to discussion of studies in the US, Europe, Asia and Oceania. Although I felt the solutions proposed were somewhat over-optimistic, the overwhelming sense of bleakness of the first 2/3 of the book clearly demonstrate that *something* needs to be done. It was not a comfortable book to read, but I thought it was well worth the time invested -- even those of us who fancy ourselves enlightened can use a reminder of how powerful even casual bigotry can be to those who experience it day in and day out.
The book is not in any sense an apologist for the numerous school shooters. Rather, it is a careful analysis of what conditions we now know have led to young adults believing that mass violence was the only way they could be heard, and armed with such knowledge, we can start to target those underlying conditions. For every shooter, there are dozens more whose suffering is equal but who don't take the final, violent step. For the safety of teachers, students and school employees, as well as for the unsung misery of those who don't lash out, it is important to understand and address the many causes of school violence.
The book is well-researched, with anecdotal data in addition to discussion of studies in the US, Europe, Asia and Oceania. Although I felt the solutions proposed were somewhat over-optimistic, the overwhelming sense of bleakness of the first 2/3 of the book clearly demonstrate that *something* needs to be done. It was not a comfortable book to read, but I thought it was well worth the time invested -- even those of us who fancy ourselves enlightened can use a reminder of how powerful even casual bigotry can be to those who experience it day in and day out.
April 19, 2024
I had to read this for school but I’m so glad I did read this. I think more schools should require students to read this and just more people in general should read this. Bullying is a really big problem and not a lot of things are being done about it. I found this very educational and it was interesting to learn more about this topic and learn the actual statistics. Highly recommend. It’s a great book to read to become more educated about this topic.
October 29, 2019
There are several problems with this book in how it is formatted, but above all the main problems stem from its age. It does however provide a must needed scope of Bullying in America and specifically the ramifications of our views of masculinity and how this leads us to create each new generation of bullies within our schools. For any future teacher it is a must read.
July 13, 2012
This awesome book explains the heartbreak of bullying and what is going on in today's schools. If you were ever bullied it's a must read of what is still going on and even worse than when I was in school.
April 7, 2020
Slightly repetitive in the information it offers but nonetheless spot on in its holistic diagnosis of the problems facing our schools and culture in large.
November 26, 2020
Great book on the intersection of masculinity, homophobia, violence, misogyny, individualism, consumerism and capitalism. Every parent, teacher & counsellor should read this.
June 15, 2019
“The Bully Society” was written by Jessie Klein as a Social Studies and Criminal Justice Professor at Aldelphi University concerned with the quantity of bullying and hate crimes in United States. “The Bully Society” cites and categorizes many stories (166 shooting between 1979 and 2009) of students facing “hell” on their school campuses and recounts their challenges to cope as well as .
Jessie researched a “small portion” (Howe and Lisi Pp 171-172) of all bullying and hate crimes between 1979 and 2011: 191 school shootings, yet the crimes she researched were particularly alarming and widely broadcasted and brought necessary urgent attention to the issue of violence on school campuses.
Jessie Klein conducted more than sixty interviews and reviewed mountains of press accounts in gathering her data for “The Bully Society”. “The Bully Society” prompted the making of the film “Bully” and launched Jessie Klein and her work as a household name and inspired many national, state and district wide “Bully Proofing” programs. “She shares successful school based efforts, where teachers are working to bond with students and help them become leaders in creating a caring school environment; students then reach across ethnic, economic, social , cultural, and gender divides to create authentic connections among on another”.
“While bullying is a perennial issue in schools, the recent release of the move “Bully” has really brought discussion of the issue to the forefront of the conversation.” New York University Press.
https://docs.google.com/presentation/...
Another deeply stirring and controversial book to read; "the Bully Society". Supportive of GLTB safe choices in USA schools.
Please join me on GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4...
The focus is not only about the issues of bullying but also ways to develop a more “kind and compassionate society” through efforts of schools and communities. Through research and interviews this book shows the deep issues of bullying and how the increase of depression, suicide, and violence has risen. Approaching ways to develop and change our society away from this bully society come through education and knowledge to students, parents and members of the community.
Book Review: “The Bully Society”
Author Jessie Klein
By: MaryEllenElizabeth Hart
October 22, 2014
EDS 3150 Multicultural Education
Professor Jan Evenstad
“The Bully Society” Publisher: New York University Press
Date of Publication: 2012
Number of Pages: 243
DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT
Book Review Rubric:
(Compiled from several descriptions within our EDS3150 Multicultural Education syllabus.) Rule of Thumb: First one half or two thirds of the review should summarize the author’s main ideas (synopsis) and at least one-third should evaluate the book (using this rubric) in the final third.
Note the equity issues addressed by the book and how this information impacts schools, teaching and learning.
How this relates to a particular culture or group, what stereotypes need to be challenged?
How can this book be used by educators in knowing more about their students?
Why would a teacher want to read this book?
Why or why not would your recommend this book?
How well the book has achieved its goal?
What possibilities are suggested by the book?
What the book has left out?
How the book compares to others on the subject?
What specific points are not convincing?
What personal experiences you’ve had related to the subject.
How this relates to a particular culture or group?
What stereotype needs to be challenged?
In detail describes how this topic relates to the larger topic of your presentation.
In detail describes why this topic of interest to you was.
In details describes why the topic is important and impacts education and teaching.
In detail describes how you might deal with this topic as an educator.
In detail describes things that you already knew about my topic that my research reaffirmed.
“The Bully Society” was written by Jessie Klein, a Social Studies Teacher (for more than twenty years), also a Social Worker Supervisor, Guidance Administrator, Conflict Resolution Coordinator, Substance Abuse Prevention Counselor, College Advisor, Social Work and Assistant Professor of Sociology and Criminal Justice at Adelphi University. Jessie Klein was concerned about the hate crimes that were occurring in United States. “The Bully Society” cites and categorizes many stories (166 shooting between 1979 and 2009) of students facing “hell” on their school campuses and recounts their challenges to cope.
Jessie Klein’s book “The Bully Society” researched only a “small portion” (as recorded in: Howe and Lisi Pp 171-172) of all bullying and hate crimes between 1979 and 2011: (191 school shootings) and 10,000 reported incidents of all types of bullying (including school shootings) per year; yet the crimes she researched were particularly alarming and widely broadcasted and brought necessary urgent attention to the issue of violence on school campuses. In this book review we are going to hear and see distressing facts which report widespread school bullying and hate crimes. As we review these distressing facts, I present a note of encouragement (some light) for our audience to hold on to: Our textbook (Howe and Lisi) Pages 171-172 Figure 6.3 “FBI Uniform Crime Report: Hate Crime Statistics” Reports (10,700) as the number of reported (bullying) hate crimes collected by police departments in 1996, in comparison to a reduced number of reports in 2009 (6,604). The number of annual reports illustrate a decreasing number of hate crimes.
Jessie Klein conducted more than sixty interviews and reviewed mountains of press accounts in gathering her data for “The Bully Society”. “The Bully Society” prompted the making of the film “Bully” and launched Jessie Klein and her work as a household name. Jessie Klein inspired many national, state and district wide “Bully Proofing” programs. “She shares successful school based efforts, where teachers are working to bond with students and help them become leaders in creating a caring school environment; students then reach across ethnic, economic, social, cultural, and gender divides to create authentic connections among on another.” “While bullying is a perennial issue in schools, the recent release of the movie “Bully” has really brought discussion of the issue to the forefront of the conversation.” (New York University Press).
This book explains why the crisis of bullying occurs in the best way. It educates parents, students, and members or the community about what kinds of bullying there are and ways we can begin to change.
The focus is not only about the issues of bullying but also ways to develop a more “kind and compassionate society” through efforts of schools and communities. Through research and interviews this book shows the deep issues of bullying and how the increase of depression, suicide, and violence has risen. Approaching ways to develop and change our society away from this bully society come through education and knowledge to students, parents and members of the community.
Definition of Bullying
“Bullying” is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance that is repeated (for example: name calling, physical intimidation, stealing, or harming a person or their property). “Bullying” is defined as aggressive and includes: “An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.” http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-b.... Howe and Lisi Pg. 172 “One third (5.7 million Students) grades 6-10 public, private and parochial schools are bullied.
The Bully Society: What Causes Bullying? Some of these facts are pretty bleak. I have kept many of the heart-wretching facts to be presented in the video(s):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaXo2...
http://vimeo.com/105186473
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUy2Z...
Not all jocks or masculine men are bullies. Football Players Protect Special Needs Girl from Bullies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtkHs...
Hegemonic masculinity refers to the form of masculinity most legitimate in a given society (a.k.a. “Patriarchal”); today, military heroes, successful businessmen, and powerful politicians tend to represent this type. Men who have this kind of power are likely to embody stereotypical masculine traits, such as being unemotional, tough, authoritative, and/or controlling. “Jocks” and “Preps” are often referred to as “hypermasculine” en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypermasculinity, however, not all jocks, not all preps, not all “patriarchs” or masculine men are bullies. Don’t stereotype.
The Bully Society: What Causes Bullying?
All groups participate in competition bullying, (minorities are equally problematic in participating in bullying behaviors: gender minorities, minority races, minority political parties, and women). Finding a group with minimal bullying (schools and school districts) is a gift from God. Teaching anti-bullying communication and anti-bullying behavior is key. In our textbook, “Teachers, Schools and Society, A Brief Introduction to Education” Third Edition By: Sadker and Zittleman Pages:131 the author’s recommend for students, parents, and school staff to:
“Talk accurately about behavior. Bullying is a broad term. If it’s sexual harassment, call it sexual harassment; if it’s homophobia, call it homophobia. Calling behaviors what they are encourages more complex and meaningful solutions. Move beyond the individual. To understand why a child uses aggression toward others, it’s important to understand what impact race, ethnicity, social class, gender, religion, and ability has on his or her daily experiences in school. How do these realities affect the kinds of attention and resources a child receives, where he fits in, or whether she feels marginal or privileged in school? 1. Stop labeling students. 2. Bully Proofing Programs. Bully prevention programs typically put kids into three categories: bullies, victims, and bystanders. Labeling focuses on the child as the problem, downplaying the roles of parents, teachers, the school system, a powerful media culture, and societal injustices children experience every day. Labels also simplify the issue: We are all complex individuals with the capacity to do harm and to do good. Accentuate the positive. Instead of labeling kids, affirm their strengths and believe that they can do good, rave, remarkable things. The path to safer, less violent schools lies less in adults control over children than in appreciating their need to have more control in their lives, to feel important, be visible, and to have an effect on people and situations.” (Textbook resource: 98) Lyn Mikel Brown, “Ten Ways to Move Beyond Bullying Prevention (and Why We Should Do It), Education Spotlight on Bullying, 2010 pp. 10-11.)
In the following activity: “Bully Bingo” you are able to develop compassion with those who have experienced bullying.)
Bully Bingo
The goal of this activity is to create awareness within the class of the immensity of the bullying issue through awakening students about some of their own personal experiences with bullying. (“Teasing” is listed as the Bullying offense, any bullying greater than “teasing” would qualify.)
Instructions:
Read the bullying activities listed in the Bingo Squares, and circulate within the classroom seeking other students who identify themselves as having experienced that type of bullying. Place a circle around the square when you find someone and listen to their one minute description of their bullying experience. Try to gain five in a row to win your “Bingo”.
Name calling because your opinion differs from someone.
Teasing about facial characteristic (shape of eyes, nose, ears, mouth, bone structure.)
Teasing about body size (large or small, tall or short, big or skinny).
Teasing about color of skin.
Teasing about race or heritage.
Criticizing because of an activity of a family member.
Teasing about a gender characteristic (size) or lack thereof.
Teasing about one’s sexual disposition or lack thereof or gender preference. (Masculinity or Femininity.)
Teasing about age.
Teasing about grades gained in class.
Teasing about one’s voice, pitch, tone, pronunciation of words or accent.
Teasing about location of one’s household.
FREE
Teasing about one’s religion or spiritual practices.
Teasing about the family or person’s car age, style, make, model, color.
Teasing about one’s hair style or lack thereof.
Teasing about one’s clothing, style, brand, label, fabric, color, cleanliness,
Teasing about one’s social status or lack thereof.
Cyber bullying where others illegally gain from you power or profit.
Physical violence from someone who doesn’t respect your personal boundaries (any of the above).
Teasing about food preference.
Teasing about political party affiliation.
Teasing because of the name of your employer or type of work.
Teasing or threats because of your authority.
Teasing because of your intelligence or academic challenges.
Prevention: Bully-Proofing
Distinctive programs have already made a significant difference in guiding schools in being a more safe and enjoyable for all. The distinctive program goals are similar and set out to help schools build close-knit communities where students and faculty feel valued and appreciated. Building community is essential for eradicating bullying behaviors. Different schools will do this in their own ways. Town meetings…are effective. Jessie Klein. The Bully Society, Chapter One: Social Status Wars Pages 11-42. Schools need to find ways to help target bullies, teachers support is very important and necessary to help these students. Bully Proofing Programs (October National Bully Awareness Month and Bully Proofing Activities: including morals and self-esteem building) are making a difference and are effective and increasing school wide collaborative efforts to resolve differences and conflicts in peaceful ways, to build students moral values and self-esteem. The results are encouraging. “There is great hope for change. It takes very little to make people more compassionate.” Jessie Klein. “Together we can move from a destructive one-size –fits all bully society to more compassionate communities-where students, families, and community members can finally thrive.” Jessie Klein.
The official Website of the movie “Bully”:
http://www.thebullyproject.com/
Another bully–proofing communication is for a school’s administration and teachers to communicate the consequences of bullying: Loss of time with family, less time with children, fragmentation of families due to work, increasing isolation, loss of connections with community.
Bully-Proofing: “Teaching and Learning Nonviolent Communication”
Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC)
Differentiating observation from evaluation: being able to carefully observe what is happening free of evaluation, and to specify behaviors and conditions that are affecting us;
Differentiating feelings from thinking: That is being able to identify and express an internal feeling, stated in a way that does not imply judgment, criticism, or blame nor punishment;
Connecting with the universal human needs and values: (e.g. sustenance, trust, understanding ) in us that are being met or not met in relation to what is happening and how we are feeling;
Requesting what we would like a in a way that clearly and specifically states what we do want (rather than what we don’t want): that is truly a request and not a demand (i.e. attempting to motivate, however subtly, out of fear, guilt, shame, obligation, etc., rather than out of willingness and compassionate giving.)
Jessie Klein: Nonviolent communication is a way of communicating that is cooperative, conscious, and compassionate” pg. 216.
Jessie Klein’s ideas toward Bully Proofing
“Jessie Klein’s Twelve Themes” that have not been addressed in previous studies of bullying: “The Bully Society” Appendix Pg. 247. Please note, I edited this section of Jessie’s book and have highlighted the “essence” of Jessie’s communication.
Perpetrators lashed out against those they perceived to be at the top of their schools’ status hierarchies; they targeted those who tried to increase their status by assaulting, harassing, and threatening the (the book uses the word “perpetrators” however I am suggesting the best word maybe “victims”).
Gender issues, including gay and perceived-gay (“hypomasculine”) {(Please refer to the definition of hypomasculine on-line: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypomasculinity)} bashing against the (“perpetrators” the book uses the word “perpetrators” however I am suggesting the best word maybe “victims”). The perpetrators (almost all of whom were identified as heterosexual) played a role in catalyzing the violence.
A pattern of sexual harassment (and or dating violence and perceived rejections) characterized many of the perpetrators’ relationships with the girls they targeted and killed.
Perpetrators tried to defeat the boys whom they perceived as threatening their relationships with girls.
Perpetrators acted because they felt humiliated after “being dumped” by girls.
Perpetrators sought revenge against their school when they believed that no one was willing and or able to stop the bullying they experienced.
White supremacy, related to efforts to demonstrate masculinity, motivated some of the perpetrators to commit their crimes.
As a way to retaliate, some perpetrators targeted those who had hurled racist epithets at them.
When girls committed violence, they did so for similar reasons to those attributed predominantly to boys.
In some cases perpetrators raged against high-stakes tests or low grades which were perceived as creating overwhelming obstacles to future opportunities.
Adults too often turned a blind eye to warning signs about imminent violence as a result of deep-seated beliefs that “boys will be boys”, “girls will be girls”, “school bullying is part of typical adolescence” or “school bullying is a normal way of being in a competitive culture; adults were sometimes targeted as a result of their perceived “complicity” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complicity) in related shootings.
Community–oriented programs related to preventing bullying, which have been widely practice in European schools, have been more successful in reducing school violence than the more common zero-tolerance policies practices in United States. Denmark (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denmark) prioritizes social harmony and works to avoid gaps in wealth between social and occupational groups, starting with their educational system.
Bully-proofing or “Anti-bullying Programs”:
U.S Programs Addressing Masculinity: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masculinity
Sports Leadership Institute – work to get students to take more responsibility around issues of destructive gender socialization and its relationship to institutionalized bullying and hazing.
Jessie researched a “small portion” (Howe and Lisi Pp 171-172) of all bullying and hate crimes between 1979 and 2011: 191 school shootings, yet the crimes she researched were particularly alarming and widely broadcasted and brought necessary urgent attention to the issue of violence on school campuses.
Jessie Klein conducted more than sixty interviews and reviewed mountains of press accounts in gathering her data for “The Bully Society”. “The Bully Society” prompted the making of the film “Bully” and launched Jessie Klein and her work as a household name and inspired many national, state and district wide “Bully Proofing” programs. “She shares successful school based efforts, where teachers are working to bond with students and help them become leaders in creating a caring school environment; students then reach across ethnic, economic, social , cultural, and gender divides to create authentic connections among on another”.
“While bullying is a perennial issue in schools, the recent release of the move “Bully” has really brought discussion of the issue to the forefront of the conversation.” New York University Press.
https://docs.google.com/presentation/...
Another deeply stirring and controversial book to read; "the Bully Society". Supportive of GLTB safe choices in USA schools.
Please join me on GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4...
The focus is not only about the issues of bullying but also ways to develop a more “kind and compassionate society” through efforts of schools and communities. Through research and interviews this book shows the deep issues of bullying and how the increase of depression, suicide, and violence has risen. Approaching ways to develop and change our society away from this bully society come through education and knowledge to students, parents and members of the community.
Book Review: “The Bully Society”
Author Jessie Klein
By: MaryEllenElizabeth Hart
October 22, 2014
EDS 3150 Multicultural Education
Professor Jan Evenstad
“The Bully Society” Publisher: New York University Press
Date of Publication: 2012
Number of Pages: 243
DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT
Book Review Rubric:
(Compiled from several descriptions within our EDS3150 Multicultural Education syllabus.) Rule of Thumb: First one half or two thirds of the review should summarize the author’s main ideas (synopsis) and at least one-third should evaluate the book (using this rubric) in the final third.
Note the equity issues addressed by the book and how this information impacts schools, teaching and learning.
How this relates to a particular culture or group, what stereotypes need to be challenged?
How can this book be used by educators in knowing more about their students?
Why would a teacher want to read this book?
Why or why not would your recommend this book?
How well the book has achieved its goal?
What possibilities are suggested by the book?
What the book has left out?
How the book compares to others on the subject?
What specific points are not convincing?
What personal experiences you’ve had related to the subject.
How this relates to a particular culture or group?
What stereotype needs to be challenged?
In detail describes how this topic relates to the larger topic of your presentation.
In detail describes why this topic of interest to you was.
In details describes why the topic is important and impacts education and teaching.
In detail describes how you might deal with this topic as an educator.
In detail describes things that you already knew about my topic that my research reaffirmed.
“The Bully Society” was written by Jessie Klein, a Social Studies Teacher (for more than twenty years), also a Social Worker Supervisor, Guidance Administrator, Conflict Resolution Coordinator, Substance Abuse Prevention Counselor, College Advisor, Social Work and Assistant Professor of Sociology and Criminal Justice at Adelphi University. Jessie Klein was concerned about the hate crimes that were occurring in United States. “The Bully Society” cites and categorizes many stories (166 shooting between 1979 and 2009) of students facing “hell” on their school campuses and recounts their challenges to cope.
Jessie Klein’s book “The Bully Society” researched only a “small portion” (as recorded in: Howe and Lisi Pp 171-172) of all bullying and hate crimes between 1979 and 2011: (191 school shootings) and 10,000 reported incidents of all types of bullying (including school shootings) per year; yet the crimes she researched were particularly alarming and widely broadcasted and brought necessary urgent attention to the issue of violence on school campuses. In this book review we are going to hear and see distressing facts which report widespread school bullying and hate crimes. As we review these distressing facts, I present a note of encouragement (some light) for our audience to hold on to: Our textbook (Howe and Lisi) Pages 171-172 Figure 6.3 “FBI Uniform Crime Report: Hate Crime Statistics” Reports (10,700) as the number of reported (bullying) hate crimes collected by police departments in 1996, in comparison to a reduced number of reports in 2009 (6,604). The number of annual reports illustrate a decreasing number of hate crimes.
Jessie Klein conducted more than sixty interviews and reviewed mountains of press accounts in gathering her data for “The Bully Society”. “The Bully Society” prompted the making of the film “Bully” and launched Jessie Klein and her work as a household name. Jessie Klein inspired many national, state and district wide “Bully Proofing” programs. “She shares successful school based efforts, where teachers are working to bond with students and help them become leaders in creating a caring school environment; students then reach across ethnic, economic, social, cultural, and gender divides to create authentic connections among on another.” “While bullying is a perennial issue in schools, the recent release of the movie “Bully” has really brought discussion of the issue to the forefront of the conversation.” (New York University Press).
This book explains why the crisis of bullying occurs in the best way. It educates parents, students, and members or the community about what kinds of bullying there are and ways we can begin to change.
The focus is not only about the issues of bullying but also ways to develop a more “kind and compassionate society” through efforts of schools and communities. Through research and interviews this book shows the deep issues of bullying and how the increase of depression, suicide, and violence has risen. Approaching ways to develop and change our society away from this bully society come through education and knowledge to students, parents and members of the community.
Definition of Bullying
“Bullying” is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance that is repeated (for example: name calling, physical intimidation, stealing, or harming a person or their property). “Bullying” is defined as aggressive and includes: “An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.” http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-b.... Howe and Lisi Pg. 172 “One third (5.7 million Students) grades 6-10 public, private and parochial schools are bullied.
The Bully Society: What Causes Bullying? Some of these facts are pretty bleak. I have kept many of the heart-wretching facts to be presented in the video(s):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaXo2...
http://vimeo.com/105186473
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUy2Z...
Not all jocks or masculine men are bullies. Football Players Protect Special Needs Girl from Bullies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtkHs...
Hegemonic masculinity refers to the form of masculinity most legitimate in a given society (a.k.a. “Patriarchal”); today, military heroes, successful businessmen, and powerful politicians tend to represent this type. Men who have this kind of power are likely to embody stereotypical masculine traits, such as being unemotional, tough, authoritative, and/or controlling. “Jocks” and “Preps” are often referred to as “hypermasculine” en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypermasculinity, however, not all jocks, not all preps, not all “patriarchs” or masculine men are bullies. Don’t stereotype.
The Bully Society: What Causes Bullying?
All groups participate in competition bullying, (minorities are equally problematic in participating in bullying behaviors: gender minorities, minority races, minority political parties, and women). Finding a group with minimal bullying (schools and school districts) is a gift from God. Teaching anti-bullying communication and anti-bullying behavior is key. In our textbook, “Teachers, Schools and Society, A Brief Introduction to Education” Third Edition By: Sadker and Zittleman Pages:131 the author’s recommend for students, parents, and school staff to:
“Talk accurately about behavior. Bullying is a broad term. If it’s sexual harassment, call it sexual harassment; if it’s homophobia, call it homophobia. Calling behaviors what they are encourages more complex and meaningful solutions. Move beyond the individual. To understand why a child uses aggression toward others, it’s important to understand what impact race, ethnicity, social class, gender, religion, and ability has on his or her daily experiences in school. How do these realities affect the kinds of attention and resources a child receives, where he fits in, or whether she feels marginal or privileged in school? 1. Stop labeling students. 2. Bully Proofing Programs. Bully prevention programs typically put kids into three categories: bullies, victims, and bystanders. Labeling focuses on the child as the problem, downplaying the roles of parents, teachers, the school system, a powerful media culture, and societal injustices children experience every day. Labels also simplify the issue: We are all complex individuals with the capacity to do harm and to do good. Accentuate the positive. Instead of labeling kids, affirm their strengths and believe that they can do good, rave, remarkable things. The path to safer, less violent schools lies less in adults control over children than in appreciating their need to have more control in their lives, to feel important, be visible, and to have an effect on people and situations.” (Textbook resource: 98) Lyn Mikel Brown, “Ten Ways to Move Beyond Bullying Prevention (and Why We Should Do It), Education Spotlight on Bullying, 2010 pp. 10-11.)
In the following activity: “Bully Bingo” you are able to develop compassion with those who have experienced bullying.)
Bully Bingo
The goal of this activity is to create awareness within the class of the immensity of the bullying issue through awakening students about some of their own personal experiences with bullying. (“Teasing” is listed as the Bullying offense, any bullying greater than “teasing” would qualify.)
Instructions:
Read the bullying activities listed in the Bingo Squares, and circulate within the classroom seeking other students who identify themselves as having experienced that type of bullying. Place a circle around the square when you find someone and listen to their one minute description of their bullying experience. Try to gain five in a row to win your “Bingo”.
Name calling because your opinion differs from someone.
Teasing about facial characteristic (shape of eyes, nose, ears, mouth, bone structure.)
Teasing about body size (large or small, tall or short, big or skinny).
Teasing about color of skin.
Teasing about race or heritage.
Criticizing because of an activity of a family member.
Teasing about a gender characteristic (size) or lack thereof.
Teasing about one’s sexual disposition or lack thereof or gender preference. (Masculinity or Femininity.)
Teasing about age.
Teasing about grades gained in class.
Teasing about one’s voice, pitch, tone, pronunciation of words or accent.
Teasing about location of one’s household.
FREE
Teasing about one’s religion or spiritual practices.
Teasing about the family or person’s car age, style, make, model, color.
Teasing about one’s hair style or lack thereof.
Teasing about one’s clothing, style, brand, label, fabric, color, cleanliness,
Teasing about one’s social status or lack thereof.
Cyber bullying where others illegally gain from you power or profit.
Physical violence from someone who doesn’t respect your personal boundaries (any of the above).
Teasing about food preference.
Teasing about political party affiliation.
Teasing because of the name of your employer or type of work.
Teasing or threats because of your authority.
Teasing because of your intelligence or academic challenges.
Prevention: Bully-Proofing
Distinctive programs have already made a significant difference in guiding schools in being a more safe and enjoyable for all. The distinctive program goals are similar and set out to help schools build close-knit communities where students and faculty feel valued and appreciated. Building community is essential for eradicating bullying behaviors. Different schools will do this in their own ways. Town meetings…are effective. Jessie Klein. The Bully Society, Chapter One: Social Status Wars Pages 11-42. Schools need to find ways to help target bullies, teachers support is very important and necessary to help these students. Bully Proofing Programs (October National Bully Awareness Month and Bully Proofing Activities: including morals and self-esteem building) are making a difference and are effective and increasing school wide collaborative efforts to resolve differences and conflicts in peaceful ways, to build students moral values and self-esteem. The results are encouraging. “There is great hope for change. It takes very little to make people more compassionate.” Jessie Klein. “Together we can move from a destructive one-size –fits all bully society to more compassionate communities-where students, families, and community members can finally thrive.” Jessie Klein.
The official Website of the movie “Bully”:
http://www.thebullyproject.com/
Another bully–proofing communication is for a school’s administration and teachers to communicate the consequences of bullying: Loss of time with family, less time with children, fragmentation of families due to work, increasing isolation, loss of connections with community.
Bully-Proofing: “Teaching and Learning Nonviolent Communication”
Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC)
Differentiating observation from evaluation: being able to carefully observe what is happening free of evaluation, and to specify behaviors and conditions that are affecting us;
Differentiating feelings from thinking: That is being able to identify and express an internal feeling, stated in a way that does not imply judgment, criticism, or blame nor punishment;
Connecting with the universal human needs and values: (e.g. sustenance, trust, understanding ) in us that are being met or not met in relation to what is happening and how we are feeling;
Requesting what we would like a in a way that clearly and specifically states what we do want (rather than what we don’t want): that is truly a request and not a demand (i.e. attempting to motivate, however subtly, out of fear, guilt, shame, obligation, etc., rather than out of willingness and compassionate giving.)
Jessie Klein: Nonviolent communication is a way of communicating that is cooperative, conscious, and compassionate” pg. 216.
Jessie Klein’s ideas toward Bully Proofing
“Jessie Klein’s Twelve Themes” that have not been addressed in previous studies of bullying: “The Bully Society” Appendix Pg. 247. Please note, I edited this section of Jessie’s book and have highlighted the “essence” of Jessie’s communication.
Perpetrators lashed out against those they perceived to be at the top of their schools’ status hierarchies; they targeted those who tried to increase their status by assaulting, harassing, and threatening the (the book uses the word “perpetrators” however I am suggesting the best word maybe “victims”).
Gender issues, including gay and perceived-gay (“hypomasculine”) {(Please refer to the definition of hypomasculine on-line: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypomasculinity)} bashing against the (“perpetrators” the book uses the word “perpetrators” however I am suggesting the best word maybe “victims”). The perpetrators (almost all of whom were identified as heterosexual) played a role in catalyzing the violence.
A pattern of sexual harassment (and or dating violence and perceived rejections) characterized many of the perpetrators’ relationships with the girls they targeted and killed.
Perpetrators tried to defeat the boys whom they perceived as threatening their relationships with girls.
Perpetrators acted because they felt humiliated after “being dumped” by girls.
Perpetrators sought revenge against their school when they believed that no one was willing and or able to stop the bullying they experienced.
White supremacy, related to efforts to demonstrate masculinity, motivated some of the perpetrators to commit their crimes.
As a way to retaliate, some perpetrators targeted those who had hurled racist epithets at them.
When girls committed violence, they did so for similar reasons to those attributed predominantly to boys.
In some cases perpetrators raged against high-stakes tests or low grades which were perceived as creating overwhelming obstacles to future opportunities.
Adults too often turned a blind eye to warning signs about imminent violence as a result of deep-seated beliefs that “boys will be boys”, “girls will be girls”, “school bullying is part of typical adolescence” or “school bullying is a normal way of being in a competitive culture; adults were sometimes targeted as a result of their perceived “complicity” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complicity) in related shootings.
Community–oriented programs related to preventing bullying, which have been widely practice in European schools, have been more successful in reducing school violence than the more common zero-tolerance policies practices in United States. Denmark (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denmark) prioritizes social harmony and works to avoid gaps in wealth between social and occupational groups, starting with their educational system.
Bully-proofing or “Anti-bullying Programs”:
U.S Programs Addressing Masculinity: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masculinity
Sports Leadership Institute – work to get students to take more responsibility around issues of destructive gender socialization and its relationship to institutionalized bullying and hazing.
July 5, 2025
Dust jacket hardcover
Fascinating look at how if you make the economy and thể society less cutthroat, you will cut down on bullying and end up in a similar position to Europe, in terms of violence. If it doesn’t feel like we often give up on kids and people, they are unlikely to lash out in extreme violence
Fascinating look at how if you make the economy and thể society less cutthroat, you will cut down on bullying and end up in a similar position to Europe, in terms of violence. If it doesn’t feel like we often give up on kids and people, they are unlikely to lash out in extreme violence
May 17, 2018
aswm book... loving it.
February 14, 2019
This book is provocative and insightful.
January 8, 2013
The book's analysis of the crucial roles of gender policing, racism, gay bashing, "slut" shaming, teen dating violence, and flamboyant heterosexuality play in the motives of school shooters -- and much school bullying -- is a crucial addition to the literature.
I wish her analysis of anti-bullying intervention programs was as insightful. She doesn't critique some of the existing programs much for failing to address these crucial sexist dynamics, and she doesn't mention many of the excellent programs that do so - Mentors in Violence Prevention (she does mention a related program to mobilize athletes against violence that was sadly closed down), Men Can Stop Rape, etc. She also doesn't address the well-documented effectiveness of the KiVa anti-bullying model (see http://www.kivaprogram.net/evidence-o...), though it would have fit her thesis about the importance of encouraging what she calls collective courage quite well.
She does have a small section discussing the importance of Nonviolent Communication-related approaches (www.baynvc.org), which I was glad to see. I would have enjoyed hearing more about how the author has used NVC approaches in her own work.
I wish her analysis of anti-bullying intervention programs was as insightful. She doesn't critique some of the existing programs much for failing to address these crucial sexist dynamics, and she doesn't mention many of the excellent programs that do so - Mentors in Violence Prevention (she does mention a related program to mobilize athletes against violence that was sadly closed down), Men Can Stop Rape, etc. She also doesn't address the well-documented effectiveness of the KiVa anti-bullying model (see http://www.kivaprogram.net/evidence-o...), though it would have fit her thesis about the importance of encouraging what she calls collective courage quite well.
She does have a small section discussing the importance of Nonviolent Communication-related approaches (www.baynvc.org), which I was glad to see. I would have enjoyed hearing more about how the author has used NVC approaches in her own work.
October 29, 2012
A powerful analysis of bullying that addresses the underlying problems of a capitalist consumer-based culture, hypermasculinity, and the ineffectiveness of telling bullying victims to just deal with it. I loved the fact that Klein, unlike many who write and talk about bullying, looks past the "kids will be kids" trope to really look at the socialization taking place in schools and elsewhere. On the other hand, her contention that parents just aren't capable of fighting a $12 billion marketing industry I find questionable, and her blithe commentary about the great work she's done in mediation programs and as a social worker I find somewhat self-serving. She talks about how certain kids came to these great realizations, but I feel that kids learn pretty fast how to say what adults want to hear and aren't necessarily going to learn any life-long lessons from one counseling session. Her assessment of school and community-wide programs was more credible, and it was nice to read a cultural critique that, unlike others, offer solutions to the problems addressed.
November 22, 2014
I thought it was a little repetitive and I don't always agree with trying to compare the United States to Europe or most other countries. Many other countries are so much smaller in human population and don't have the variety of cultures like the US. Bullies are everywhere but especially within places where people are afraid of what they don't understand. The US is built from cultures of countries all over the world and instead of being afraid of them we need to learn to embrace them and understand them.
October 11, 2016
Here's the thing: this book has a lot of valuable information in it concerning School Shootings and the different types of bullying. Extremely valuable information to have or know about in some way. I just didn't like the fact that the author seemed sympathetic toward the shooters and justifying their actions. Like, I don't care if they got good grades or not. I don't care if they got scholarships. They killed people, and that should never be justified.
May 15, 2012
This book was phenomenal. I recommend it to anyone who is going into education as a career. Actually, I honestly recommend it to everyone. It's very powerful and informative - and it gives ways to fix the problem at hand. It takes a look at a crisis in America and analyzes it in ways that are compelling and scary. Such a great read.
February 12, 2013
Neat book explaining the link between violence in our society and bullying in our schools. Lots of case studies outlining types of bullying, but the book is short on solutions.
September 29, 2013
Well written, but so depressing I returned it to the library without finishing it.
December 8, 2013
Review forthcoming in "men & masculinities"
April 30, 2014
Great tool for teachers, students, and parents.
May 6, 2015
I very much enjoyed the statistics and the comparisons between the way Europe and America handle things.
January 19, 2016
This was a very informative book. The content was dark, as it is a dark subject, but you start to see the toxicity that is festering in the school system and beyond. Well written book.
August 22, 2016
Great book but hard to read. I thought the emphasis on Satanic activity in America to be counterproductive to the subject matter.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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