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Until Today
Kat is alone with a secret she doesn't want to keep but can't risk telling. A victim of longtime sexual abuse at the hands of her family's trusted friend, Kat is torn between trying to protect herself and safeguarding her little sister, whom she fears might be next.
Greg is a clever and manipulative abuser who has Kat convinced that she is as much to blame for his behavior as he is. Caught in a tangled web of deception and self-loathing, Kat believes Greg when he says that no one will accept her word over his. Thanks to him, Kat is already isolated from her parents and at risk of losing her best friends. With no one to turn to, Kat keeps a secret journal where she writes the truth about everything that has been going on since she was a little girl. But now the journal is missing, and Kat's secret is about to unravel.
Greg is a clever and manipulative abuser who has Kat convinced that she is as much to blame for his behavior as he is. Caught in a tangled web of deception and self-loathing, Kat believes Greg when he says that no one will accept her word over his. Thanks to him, Kat is already isolated from her parents and at risk of losing her best friends. With no one to turn to, Kat keeps a secret journal where she writes the truth about everything that has been going on since she was a little girl. But now the journal is missing, and Kat's secret is about to unravel.
- GenresYoung AdultFictionCanada
184 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 2013
1 person is currently reading
173 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
July 14, 2021
Great book, but very difficult subject matter to read about.
Reading this reminded me of the t.v. movie that came out in the eighties, “Something About Amelia”. It was the first movie of its kind that brought the matter of child sexual abuse out into the open. Both of the main characters, Amelia and in Until Today, Kat, were afraid to reveal what was occurring because they were afraid of not being believed. In Kay’s case, the “old family friend” actually threatened her about telling. My heart bled for both of these young girls.
This book carried well the message that the only way to stop abuse is to tell someone you trust about it, so it won’t keep happening to you or anyone else. Excellent read for Y.A. age, but with adult guidance, because of the mature subject matter.
Reading this reminded me of the t.v. movie that came out in the eighties, “Something About Amelia”. It was the first movie of its kind that brought the matter of child sexual abuse out into the open. Both of the main characters, Amelia and in Until Today, Kat, were afraid to reveal what was occurring because they were afraid of not being believed. In Kay’s case, the “old family friend” actually threatened her about telling. My heart bled for both of these young girls.
This book carried well the message that the only way to stop abuse is to tell someone you trust about it, so it won’t keep happening to you or anyone else. Excellent read for Y.A. age, but with adult guidance, because of the mature subject matter.
May 28, 2018
TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!
This book really should come with a trigger warning. I found this book at the library to fulfill a book challenge for one of my reading groups and was unaware of the content of the book. However, as I began reading and realized the main premise of the book was child sexual abuse, I continued reading, as it was own fault for not doing research before beginning it. Typically I would use spoilers, though considering the trigger warnings all over this book, I will abstain from the spoilers.
I will say, from personal experience, this book was incredibly triggering and I'm now in my late 20's and over 15 years past my own traumas. I think the author did a good job of making the trauma realistic and giving Kat a voice for her pain. However, there were many things that bothered me. Primarily Amy. What grown woman in her right mind blames a child, even AFTER finding said child's diary detailing the events that happened long before the woman confronted her? I am so confused and baffled by Amy's response. She continued to blame Kat, belittling and victim shaming her. She acted as though this CHILD ruined her marriage with her husband, altogether ignoring the fact that her husband is a pedophile and child molester. That was so abnormal and unrealistic and quite honestly, scary. This is a Young Adult novel, geared towards teenagers. It is one thing to present sexual trauma. It is another thing entirely to present characters who are victim shaming and accusing children of ruining their marriages and refusing to admit pedophilia when the evidence is insurmountable.
I understand the need for books of this nature in our society, though I wish the author would have taken more time to consider what message a victim-shaming character would potentially have upon impressionable readers, who may be actively experiencing the subjects discussed within this book.
This book really should come with a trigger warning. I found this book at the library to fulfill a book challenge for one of my reading groups and was unaware of the content of the book. However, as I began reading and realized the main premise of the book was child sexual abuse, I continued reading, as it was own fault for not doing research before beginning it. Typically I would use spoilers, though considering the trigger warnings all over this book, I will abstain from the spoilers.
I will say, from personal experience, this book was incredibly triggering and I'm now in my late 20's and over 15 years past my own traumas. I think the author did a good job of making the trauma realistic and giving Kat a voice for her pain. However, there were many things that bothered me. Primarily Amy. What grown woman in her right mind blames a child, even AFTER finding said child's diary detailing the events that happened long before the woman confronted her? I am so confused and baffled by Amy's response. She continued to blame Kat, belittling and victim shaming her. She acted as though this CHILD ruined her marriage with her husband, altogether ignoring the fact that her husband is a pedophile and child molester. That was so abnormal and unrealistic and quite honestly, scary. This is a Young Adult novel, geared towards teenagers. It is one thing to present sexual trauma. It is another thing entirely to present characters who are victim shaming and accusing children of ruining their marriages and refusing to admit pedophilia when the evidence is insurmountable.
I understand the need for books of this nature in our society, though I wish the author would have taken more time to consider what message a victim-shaming character would potentially have upon impressionable readers, who may be actively experiencing the subjects discussed within this book.
July 15, 2014
This is one of the books that I got at the OLA Super Conference this year. It’s a powerful look at the experience of child sexual abuse, especially coming from an author who freely admits that she also has had personal experience with mental and sexual abuse. Fluttert’s website talks about her work on the issue of childhood sexual abuse and with the group Yes YOUth Can which promotes inspirational youth.
Kat is basically a list of the warning signs of childhood abuse: loose, baggy, unappealing clothing, disinterest in dating, mood swings and moodiness, trying to protect another potential victim without anyone realizing what she’s doing, vague statements about her abuser, fanatically protecting the secret even though she hates him and what he does, depression and self-loathing, fear of stigma of being known as an abuse survivor, problems with family & friends…A lot of these are common to teenagers, but they can also be warning signs of something seriously wrong. Greg is also a warning sign himself: he is charming and smooth, someone who everyone likes and trusts, and manipulates Kat from a young age into believing that what they do together is a special secret, a game, something that they do because he loves her and wants her to prove how much she loves him, that no one else will understand and everyone will hate her and she will lose all her family and friends if she tells because they will pick him over her… The whole book is a little After School Special, but it works very well as an explanation of what Kat goes through and what she thinks about everything.
My only issue with the book is that she never once uses the words rape or sexual assault. Words are powerful, as we see when Kat recognizes that she has been a victim of child abuse. Throughout the book, Kat says that Greg “does things to her” and that he “touches her” but she never once says that he rapes her or that he sexually assaults her or that they have sex. I don’t think that Kat yet recognizes that that was what he did–a real survivor at that point might not think in those terms–but I think it would have been even more powerful for the book to use the words. It is a YA book– I wonder if that was a choice made to make the book more ‘appropriate’ to market to young teens? Regardless, Kat is a character who find the courage to help someone else, which helps her find the courage to help herself.
Kat is basically a list of the warning signs of childhood abuse: loose, baggy, unappealing clothing, disinterest in dating, mood swings and moodiness, trying to protect another potential victim without anyone realizing what she’s doing, vague statements about her abuser, fanatically protecting the secret even though she hates him and what he does, depression and self-loathing, fear of stigma of being known as an abuse survivor, problems with family & friends…A lot of these are common to teenagers, but they can also be warning signs of something seriously wrong. Greg is also a warning sign himself: he is charming and smooth, someone who everyone likes and trusts, and manipulates Kat from a young age into believing that what they do together is a special secret, a game, something that they do because he loves her and wants her to prove how much she loves him, that no one else will understand and everyone will hate her and she will lose all her family and friends if she tells because they will pick him over her… The whole book is a little After School Special, but it works very well as an explanation of what Kat goes through and what she thinks about everything.
My only issue with the book is that she never once uses the words rape or sexual assault. Words are powerful, as we see when Kat recognizes that she has been a victim of child abuse. Throughout the book, Kat says that Greg “does things to her” and that he “touches her” but she never once says that he rapes her or that he sexually assaults her or that they have sex. I don’t think that Kat yet recognizes that that was what he did–a real survivor at that point might not think in those terms–but I think it would have been even more powerful for the book to use the words. It is a YA book– I wonder if that was a choice made to make the book more ‘appropriate’ to market to young teens? Regardless, Kat is a character who find the courage to help someone else, which helps her find the courage to help herself.
November 8, 2013
Until today by Pam Fluttert is a YK novel I could not put down. The subject matter is very sensitive. It’s the story of Kat, a young girl who was sexually abused by a friend of the family. Fluttert did a masterful job telling Kat’s story. This book was an eye opener for me, since the subject is taboo and one hardly hears about it in such a personal way. Learning about Kat’s big secret that she kept to herself all her life and the burden she carried made me feel her pain. I cheered for her and I wanted to see her win her battle against the big bad uncle figure who took advantage of her. Kat is a real hero in my eyes. She has her whole life ahead of her, I know that she will do great things in the future. I would love to see a sequel to Until today and read about how Kat’s life changed for the better and all the wonderful things she achieved, and the people she helped. I highly recommend this book. It should be in every school library and actively promoted to young people as a learning tool. If there are any young people out there who are silently suffering at the hands of abusive adults posing as trusted friends of the family. Until today will show them the way to freedom from abuse.
Meltem Y.K
Meltem Y.K
October 12, 2018
This thrilling, mysterious, and suspenseful young adult fiction book, "Until Today", by Pam Fluttert will urge you to keep reading. Kat has been holding onto this secret for as long as she can remember. She wants to let it all out, but she can't risk telling anybody. All she has is her and her journal; where all her secrets are written down. She has been a victim of sexual abuse since a young age; it's either protecting herself or her little sister.
A close family member has been sexually abusing Kat for a long time, but nobody is aware of this fact. Kat is hesitant to let this out because she fears that nobody will believe her when she claims that her abuser is a close family friend. Kat becomes quiet, not wanting to ruin her family relationship more than what it already is. The abuser decides to take advantage of this and comfort Kat, so she will get on "his side". He continues to abuse her, but as soon as they are with others, he takes out his innocent side. Kat is in a mess because of this incident, causing higher risks of losing her family and friends. She doesn't have a choice but to go to a "secret" journal where she unveils all of her deep secrets. She is at "ease" because she is telling "somebody" her secrets, but when her journal disappears, Kat's secrets might become a story.
Pam Fluttert writes this book in a way that will make you understand Kat and follow through with her story. This novel is something that younger kids might not want to read yet. It provides an inspirational story about how someone SHOULD speak up IF this ever happens. This book would be great for 13-14-year-olds; maybe even 12-year-olds (if mature enough). If kids find abuse a topic that they shouldn't be reading, they should not go through reading this book. I personally enjoyed reading this book, not because it was about such a horrible topic, but because it gives inspiration. It also had some twists and turns, causing our mind to want to read more. This novel would greatly appeal to those who are in a similar situation, whether it's a family, friends, abuse, or even no confidence problem. Those who are in a similar situation would learn to speak up to defend themselves rather than letting this incident repeat itself over and over again. It could also teach us that keeping things to yourself isn't always the solution to a problem.
A close family member has been sexually abusing Kat for a long time, but nobody is aware of this fact. Kat is hesitant to let this out because she fears that nobody will believe her when she claims that her abuser is a close family friend. Kat becomes quiet, not wanting to ruin her family relationship more than what it already is. The abuser decides to take advantage of this and comfort Kat, so she will get on "his side". He continues to abuse her, but as soon as they are with others, he takes out his innocent side. Kat is in a mess because of this incident, causing higher risks of losing her family and friends. She doesn't have a choice but to go to a "secret" journal where she unveils all of her deep secrets. She is at "ease" because she is telling "somebody" her secrets, but when her journal disappears, Kat's secrets might become a story.
Pam Fluttert writes this book in a way that will make you understand Kat and follow through with her story. This novel is something that younger kids might not want to read yet. It provides an inspirational story about how someone SHOULD speak up IF this ever happens. This book would be great for 13-14-year-olds; maybe even 12-year-olds (if mature enough). If kids find abuse a topic that they shouldn't be reading, they should not go through reading this book. I personally enjoyed reading this book, not because it was about such a horrible topic, but because it gives inspiration. It also had some twists and turns, causing our mind to want to read more. This novel would greatly appeal to those who are in a similar situation, whether it's a family, friends, abuse, or even no confidence problem. Those who are in a similar situation would learn to speak up to defend themselves rather than letting this incident repeat itself over and over again. It could also teach us that keeping things to yourself isn't always the solution to a problem.
January 6, 2019
The characters were one dimensional, they all sounded the same and had no defining personality. The plot wasn’t well developed, and there were a lot of hastily, magically resolved storylines, like the beginning of a few subplots that never really got the attention that was necessary. The characters were all annoying, even Kat, whom I was meant to sympathize with. It didn’t make for a very realistic story and the whole thing came off disorganized.
May 9, 2017
The style was great, really strong voice. The romance was understated, which is appropriate for the circumstances. The pacing was a little off, but it was a poignant take on an important subject.
September 22, 2022
Ważny temat niestety sam styl pisania totalnie mi nie odpowiadał
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March 27, 2016This is a realistic fiction book because someone could have gone through this similar situation as Kat. The theme of the book is when you think you are in a bad situation you should go tell a trusted adult. Kat gets put into some not pleasant situations and she doesn’t know for sure what she should do about it. Once she told someone the problem go taken care of.
In this book the main character is Kat. Kat get sexually abuse by a family friend. She believes that no one will believe her if she tells anyone what the family friend, Greg, has done to her. Once Kat tells hey best guy friend about everything her friend ends up helping her talk to her parents about what has happened. The family friend gets into trouble and in the middle of the story another little kids get abused and Kat ends up helping her through the little girl’s situation.
The main character I am going to describe is Kat. Kat is a caring person and she would do anything for a friend or family member. She is really shy. Kat volunteers at the hospital; she talks to the children there to make them happier and to have a sense of hope. She meets this little girl whose father was abusing her but, the little girl doesn’t want to tell anyone and the little girl’s mother is being extremely over protective. Kat gets the little girl to talk to her about what was happening at home and the little girl got help. The little girl getting help makes Kat realize that she needs to tell someone about what happens with Greg. Kat gets help and everyone was so happy once Greg was gone.
This book is an eye opener because you never know what some people can be hiding from you. The book makes you realize of how much this could be happening to other people around the world. I understand what the author is trying to say through this book. This book shows you what could be happening in real life to other people and what steps of action steps you should take to solve the problem. The issue in this book is about sexually abuse and the possibilities that the book kind of shows is that you can either let it happen or you can go get help. This book changed my view of the world. The people that are shy and act like they are doing extremely well.. They could actually doing not as well as you think they are. When people that are not happy I go up to them and ask what is wrong. This book opened my eyes so much that it changed me. I talk to others more often, especially when they have a problem and then I try to help them to get out of the problem.
There is no one way to describe Until Today. It put you through an emotion train with Kat. It is an eye opener to what kids could be hiding. It shows you that no matter who you talk to they could be in a bad situation but, they can hide what they think and feel very well. I would suggest this book to everyone because everyone needs to know what could be happening with people that are around you.
In this book the main character is Kat. Kat get sexually abuse by a family friend. She believes that no one will believe her if she tells anyone what the family friend, Greg, has done to her. Once Kat tells hey best guy friend about everything her friend ends up helping her talk to her parents about what has happened. The family friend gets into trouble and in the middle of the story another little kids get abused and Kat ends up helping her through the little girl’s situation.
The main character I am going to describe is Kat. Kat is a caring person and she would do anything for a friend or family member. She is really shy. Kat volunteers at the hospital; she talks to the children there to make them happier and to have a sense of hope. She meets this little girl whose father was abusing her but, the little girl doesn’t want to tell anyone and the little girl’s mother is being extremely over protective. Kat gets the little girl to talk to her about what was happening at home and the little girl got help. The little girl getting help makes Kat realize that she needs to tell someone about what happens with Greg. Kat gets help and everyone was so happy once Greg was gone.
This book is an eye opener because you never know what some people can be hiding from you. The book makes you realize of how much this could be happening to other people around the world. I understand what the author is trying to say through this book. This book shows you what could be happening in real life to other people and what steps of action steps you should take to solve the problem. The issue in this book is about sexually abuse and the possibilities that the book kind of shows is that you can either let it happen or you can go get help. This book changed my view of the world. The people that are shy and act like they are doing extremely well.. They could actually doing not as well as you think they are. When people that are not happy I go up to them and ask what is wrong. This book opened my eyes so much that it changed me. I talk to others more often, especially when they have a problem and then I try to help them to get out of the problem.
There is no one way to describe Until Today. It put you through an emotion train with Kat. It is an eye opener to what kids could be hiding. It shows you that no matter who you talk to they could be in a bad situation but, they can hide what they think and feel very well. I would suggest this book to everyone because everyone needs to know what could be happening with people that are around you.
October 12, 2013
Review to be posted on http://kristineandterri.blogspot.ca/ on Oct 13th
I won this book from a giveaway on Goodreads in exchange for an honest review.
As I sit down to write out my thoughts I find that I am struggling to find the right words to describe my feelings towards the book. This book was an easy read in regards to the writing style, pace and general flow however it was a heavy read in regards to the topic.
Instead of following the usual format for a review I will instead choose to just share the general thoughts that keep going through my mind. This book was written for the YA audience which in my opinion is genius. While the adult population is accustomed to reading about such difficult topics as abuse it is not commonly seen in the YA market at least in my experience. This is what makes this book stand out to me. By gearing this towards the young adult reader, Fluttert is targeting the same audience that could also be victims of the same abuse as faced by Kat in the story. She outlines the different emotions that victims face such as denial, confusion, and anger. She also outlines the courage and strength it takes to overcome the abuse and expose the secrets and lies.
Fluttert has created a powerful message and if this book assists just one person to "tell" and then start down the path of healing then she should be proud of what she has accomplished here. This story has the power to make an impact on some young lives. This will stay with me for a while
I won this book from a giveaway on Goodreads in exchange for an honest review.
As I sit down to write out my thoughts I find that I am struggling to find the right words to describe my feelings towards the book. This book was an easy read in regards to the writing style, pace and general flow however it was a heavy read in regards to the topic.
Instead of following the usual format for a review I will instead choose to just share the general thoughts that keep going through my mind. This book was written for the YA audience which in my opinion is genius. While the adult population is accustomed to reading about such difficult topics as abuse it is not commonly seen in the YA market at least in my experience. This is what makes this book stand out to me. By gearing this towards the young adult reader, Fluttert is targeting the same audience that could also be victims of the same abuse as faced by Kat in the story. She outlines the different emotions that victims face such as denial, confusion, and anger. She also outlines the courage and strength it takes to overcome the abuse and expose the secrets and lies.
Fluttert has created a powerful message and if this book assists just one person to "tell" and then start down the path of healing then she should be proud of what she has accomplished here. This story has the power to make an impact on some young lives. This will stay with me for a while
December 1, 2015
This seems like an extremely important book. First off, let me start by saying that it's nearly impossible to find a book with this type of subject matter for a specific age group(juvenile fiction age 8-12). Most of these books range from the younger picture books to YA books which can be too graphic for middle age children. I really believe this is a disservice to this age group since it's at that time that most children are sexually or physically abused. Also, the way that Pam Fluttert handled it was delicately but honestly. She didn't use explicit details that seem to be sensationalized in some YA books about sexual abuse. The main point of this book was that 1) You don't always know what's going on behind closed doors. 2) It's important to pay attention to "warning signs" or behavioral issues, even when physical evidence isn't present, 3) And the most important point, is that it shows it's ok to tell when a secret is harming you or someone else. I kept thinking to myself that if a child who is dealing with sexual or physical abuse were to read this book, it could give them the voice to speak up about what was happening to them.
January 10, 2014
Pam Fluttert has taken the very difficult subject of sexual abuse and made it accessible to a younger audience. The use of the journal allows the reader to get a sense of the inner turmoil Kat is facing and is an excellent device to provide a intimate inner voice as a foil to the more impersonal third person narrative used to advance the plot.
Fluttert has a lot going on in her plot but she has kept the language simple and description sparse. Because of her delicate touch, the novel is appropriate for the younger teen as well as the older teen. I hesitate to give it a higher rating because, for me, it did feel contrived at times and the ending was a bit disappointing.
It should be on library shelves and in the hands of students.
Fluttert has a lot going on in her plot but she has kept the language simple and description sparse. Because of her delicate touch, the novel is appropriate for the younger teen as well as the older teen. I hesitate to give it a higher rating because, for me, it did feel contrived at times and the ending was a bit disappointing.
It should be on library shelves and in the hands of students.
September 14, 2013
Until Today provides an interesting perspective about how sexual abuse can affect a family as well as the direct victim (Kat). The feelings and behaviours exhibited by Kat provide a realistic insight into this serious topic. Written in true young adult style (nothing too graphic, but not "censored"), this book offers its readers an understanding of how it can be difficult for a victim to "just tell someone" and yet at the same time, it also provides a message of encouragement for victims to reach out for support. I recommend this book to readers with an interest in teen issues.
October 8, 2013
I received this book through Goodreads and I would like to thank Pam Fluttert for sending me this book, I am grateful for having had the chance to read it.
Until Today is a touching and moving book on the issue of child sexual abuse. It is a realistic read on how this very traumatic experience can impact a victim's life and affect family, friends and relationships. Until Today is a must read for anyone who may feel that they are alone and have no one to turn to and for those who wish to have a better understanding of the impacts upon the victim.
Until Today is a touching and moving book on the issue of child sexual abuse. It is a realistic read on how this very traumatic experience can impact a victim's life and affect family, friends and relationships. Until Today is a must read for anyone who may feel that they are alone and have no one to turn to and for those who wish to have a better understanding of the impacts upon the victim.
December 27, 2013
While there need to be more books that take on this subject, this one was not very authentic. Things wrapped up a little too nicely and did not depict the true devastation that sexual abuse victims have to deal with for years and years beyond the time that the abuse stops. Also, most survivors/victims are not automatically believed by others as Kat was. The characters were very flat in this book. I'd give it a 2 1/2 if I could, but couldn't give it a 3.
December 30, 2014
Hopefully anyone in an abusive situation like Kat or worse would be inspired to tell their story and get help after reading this. The author does a good job giving a look into an abuse victim's mind and the self-doubt, the guilt, and threats that often occur.
It's a lighter version than abuse often is, which makes it easier to read. That means younger teens can read this as well. It's a short read that packs a punch in the gut.
It's a lighter version than abuse often is, which makes it easier to read. That means younger teens can read this as well. It's a short read that packs a punch in the gut.
June 9, 2014
The subject, sexual abuse, is a very sensitive topic as it can affect her family. Pam Fluttert is able to make me feel how Kat felt. Once I started reding this book, I cannot put the book down. This book is a must read
October 9, 2014
whoa to have something like that happen to you is just sad. That sick bastered glad that they found out the truth. poor Kat she had to face that almost all her life but know she has her family with het.
January 4, 2016
A good effort on a difficult subject, but I found the issues with the writing to be distracting. There were times when I had no idea where the characters were, the dialogue had issues, and some of the characters and scenes were just not written in a way that I could suspend disbelief.
July 19, 2014
4.5 stars
Kat Thompson is being sexually abused by her dad's best friend, Greg. The only thing she confides in is her journal but when it goes missing, she has to tell someone.
Kat Thompson is being sexually abused by her dad's best friend, Greg. The only thing she confides in is her journal but when it goes missing, she has to tell someone.
August 21, 2014
A tough read. This fictional account of a sensitive and devastatingly difficult issue was well done.
Want to read
September 2, 2014For readers who liked speak?
May 5, 2016
This books was good. It made you feel her emotions.
March 15, 2022
this book was so sad. fuck u greg.
Want to read
January 29, 2018The story "Until Today" is a fictional story but is definitely a story that may happen in real life. In this story there's a young teenage girl named Kat, who was being sexually abused by her fathers best friend. This story was an eye opener and will really keep you on your feet and make you wonder what will happen next. This story is mainly based on sexual abuse and finding your voice, being able to open up to another person and reach out for help when you're in any kind of danger. I would definitely recommend this book for everyone to read.
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