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Trey Grey #1
The Darker Side of Trey Grey
No one told Trey Grey that life could be dark and unpredictable. With the death of his father when he was eight, his mother’s departure from Earth on a syringe full of Heroin and the brutal abuse of his stepfather, Trey learned these lessons all too well on his own.
Now at twenty years of age, he is nearing the completion of his accounting degree and can finally glimpse the end of his life as a prostitute, the only profession he has ever known.
Wracked by nightmares of Willie’s years of abuse, and controlled by severe obsessive-compulsive disorders as a result, he seems to have a tentative handle on his own life. That is, as long as he keeps a death-grip and no one touches his Camaro, kitten.
But even the best laid plans can be torn to gory bits.
His savior comes in the unlikely form of a spiky-haired blond named Justin, after a night of drunken debauchery that neither of them seems able to forget. Justin might just need Trey as much as Trey needs him.
Trey travels through his fearscapes and begins to find his own forgiveness, but at what cost to the manic-depressive Justin? Will they be able to live through the trauma of each other’s lives and find their own version of normal?
Now at twenty years of age, he is nearing the completion of his accounting degree and can finally glimpse the end of his life as a prostitute, the only profession he has ever known.
Wracked by nightmares of Willie’s years of abuse, and controlled by severe obsessive-compulsive disorders as a result, he seems to have a tentative handle on his own life. That is, as long as he keeps a death-grip and no one touches his Camaro, kitten.
But even the best laid plans can be torn to gory bits.
His savior comes in the unlikely form of a spiky-haired blond named Justin, after a night of drunken debauchery that neither of them seems able to forget. Justin might just need Trey as much as Trey needs him.
Trey travels through his fearscapes and begins to find his own forgiveness, but at what cost to the manic-depressive Justin? Will they be able to live through the trauma of each other’s lives and find their own version of normal?
445 pages, Paperback
First published June 11, 2013
33 people are currently reading
1325 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 123 reviews
November 23, 2018
Posted at Shelf Inflicted
First off, I really hope that the author sent me an uncorrected review copy and this was not the final published version. I would have been very annoyed if I had paid $3.99 for it. Though my tolerance is higher for errors in self-published books, there were so many here that they threw me out of the story on many occasions. Typos I can handle, but constant misuse and abuse of words was much harder to put up with.
“too” instead of “to”
The club was roué, fashionable and raunchy all at once.
She has a reprobation toward sex.
My hips thrust fallaciously…
And it goes on…
The woman-hating that goes on in the m/m romance genre is so prevalent, that it wasn’t a surprise to me here. It’s OK to include well-developed, interesting, intelligent female characters with full lives in stories that focus on men’s relationships. Women are part of men’s lives too, if not as lovers, then certainly as mothers, sisters, friends, or co-workers. They don’t all have to be bitchy, bitter, lonely, gossipy, or meddlesome.
There were inconsistencies in this story that were a little off-putting. Halfway in, Trey and Justin knew each other for a week. 232 pages later, they knew each other only 3 days. In either case, they fell in love just a little too quickly for my liking, particularly considering Trey’s history of physical and emotional abuse, his mental illness, and his years working as a prostitute. Justin, like Trey, has difficulty with relationships. He is also deeply insecure and suffers from depression. Even though this is Trey’s story, I wish Justin’s mental illness was portrayed a little more convincingly. He was a very strong character while supporting Trey and didn’t show evidence of his depression. Other times, he was needy and insecure.
Some of the medical and psychological aspects didn’t ring true either. I’m far from an expert, but I would think if you stab yourself with a 3-inch wide butcher knife, you would do more damage than just nick your diaphragm. Trey’s suicide attempts and self-harming behavior were treated far too casually. Realistically, he would have had to be evaluated by a psychiatrist and receive extensive treatment, or even hospitalization, if he was determined to be a risk to himself.
Trey’s physical, sexual and emotional abuse by his stepfather was shown in flashbacks. He had recurring nightmares, and difficulty enjoying sex, until Justin entered his life. Despite the inconsistencies and inaccuracies here, I felt the author realistically portrayed the effects of severe child abuse on adult survivors and created two broken but strong characters that were very easy to care about.
I enjoyed being a part of Trey’s and Justin’s lives as they handle their struggles and cope with life’s challenges. Their strength drew me in and kept me involved right up to the very end.
Flaws notwithstanding, I am very much looking forward to the sequel.
*Book provided by author in exchange for an honest review.
First off, I really hope that the author sent me an uncorrected review copy and this was not the final published version. I would have been very annoyed if I had paid $3.99 for it. Though my tolerance is higher for errors in self-published books, there were so many here that they threw me out of the story on many occasions. Typos I can handle, but constant misuse and abuse of words was much harder to put up with.
“too” instead of “to”
The club was roué, fashionable and raunchy all at once.
She has a reprobation toward sex.
My hips thrust fallaciously…
And it goes on…
The woman-hating that goes on in the m/m romance genre is so prevalent, that it wasn’t a surprise to me here. It’s OK to include well-developed, interesting, intelligent female characters with full lives in stories that focus on men’s relationships. Women are part of men’s lives too, if not as lovers, then certainly as mothers, sisters, friends, or co-workers. They don’t all have to be bitchy, bitter, lonely, gossipy, or meddlesome.
There were inconsistencies in this story that were a little off-putting. Halfway in, Trey and Justin knew each other for a week. 232 pages later, they knew each other only 3 days. In either case, they fell in love just a little too quickly for my liking, particularly considering Trey’s history of physical and emotional abuse, his mental illness, and his years working as a prostitute. Justin, like Trey, has difficulty with relationships. He is also deeply insecure and suffers from depression. Even though this is Trey’s story, I wish Justin’s mental illness was portrayed a little more convincingly. He was a very strong character while supporting Trey and didn’t show evidence of his depression. Other times, he was needy and insecure.
Some of the medical and psychological aspects didn’t ring true either. I’m far from an expert, but I would think if you stab yourself with a 3-inch wide butcher knife, you would do more damage than just nick your diaphragm. Trey’s suicide attempts and self-harming behavior were treated far too casually. Realistically, he would have had to be evaluated by a psychiatrist and receive extensive treatment, or even hospitalization, if he was determined to be a risk to himself.
Trey’s physical, sexual and emotional abuse by his stepfather was shown in flashbacks. He had recurring nightmares, and difficulty enjoying sex, until Justin entered his life. Despite the inconsistencies and inaccuracies here, I felt the author realistically portrayed the effects of severe child abuse on adult survivors and created two broken but strong characters that were very easy to care about.
I enjoyed being a part of Trey’s and Justin’s lives as they handle their struggles and cope with life’s challenges. Their strength drew me in and kept me involved right up to the very end.
Flaws notwithstanding, I am very much looking forward to the sequel.
*Book provided by author in exchange for an honest review.
April 28, 2016
5 heart breaking, gut-wrenching, beautiful stars.
This is not a typical m/m romance. This is on the bit of the dark side for sure. And you know me when it comes to my dark book I have to read them. I was really intrigued since it was a m/m also. I haven't read a m/m dark book yet. This is a first for me and will not be the last. Something about this book drew me too it and I bought it right away and started it that very night. When a title like The Darker Side of Trey Grey pops out, it catches my attention and I am very glad I picked it up.
As I was saying this is not your typical m/m romance in anyway shape or form. Warning though this book includes Rape, Child Molestation, prostitution, among other things. Does it get pretty graphic? I would like to say at some parts yes it does. Did it make me want to stop reading it, hell no. When Trey Grey comes into a story he captures my entire attention on every page. He is very hard not to read even though 90% of the time I just wanted to hold him down and hug him to wash out all of his worries.
I really, really, love this book deeply down to my breaking heart.
Trey Grey, how do I even start to put this boy into words. Trey, he is a prostitute, this is all he knows. He is also a college student that suffers from severely OCD. He has been sexual abused since he was a kid. Has been prostituted out as a young boy by the very person who should be caring for him. Trey is so broken almost beyond repair. Almost! He is the one that breaks my heart through out he entire story while reading this. You just hurt for everything that he has ever been through.
It's so hard not to fall in love with Trey. Living his life day by day with nightmare, reminders, OCD freak outs. It is almost like what else can happen to his poor guy. *HUGS TREY*
One day at a restaurant he meets Justin. Trey feels a attraction for Justin but nothing serious at first. He has never been close to anyone and you can blame him for feeling this way. Trey and Justin head over to a house party and hit it off pretty well I might say so myself.
Not only does Trey have his own demons battling him every single day, so does Justin. Justin has his own battles, history, mental illness. These two are so fucked up that they are perfect for each other really. It seems like they are just a disaster waiting to explode and trust me it does. The things they both go through to be together is unreal. I really does make me what to hug them both tightly and fight off all their battles for them.
Given these two characters they are perfect in their own way and makes me love them even more. God, I love this book. The author did a amazing job writing this book. This is in Trey's POV only. There will be a sequel from what I seen on the authors page suppose to be released this year. Fingers cross.
After reading this book I am anxiously waiting for what is to come with Trey and Justin. I need to know what is going to happen next. There are so many things that were left unanswered, so many details that I need to know and find out. I just have to have the next book. So, yes I will be stalking the authors blog waiting to see what she is going to do with these two. It's fucking hard seating here thinking about it when I need the damn book now. UGH! That is a good UGH. I just want the next book. I would highly recommend this to those that like m/m and like it on the dark side.
This is not a typical m/m romance. This is on the bit of the dark side for sure. And you know me when it comes to my dark book I have to read them. I was really intrigued since it was a m/m also. I haven't read a m/m dark book yet. This is a first for me and will not be the last. Something about this book drew me too it and I bought it right away and started it that very night. When a title like The Darker Side of Trey Grey pops out, it catches my attention and I am very glad I picked it up.
As I was saying this is not your typical m/m romance in anyway shape or form. Warning though this book includes Rape, Child Molestation, prostitution, among other things. Does it get pretty graphic? I would like to say at some parts yes it does. Did it make me want to stop reading it, hell no. When Trey Grey comes into a story he captures my entire attention on every page. He is very hard not to read even though 90% of the time I just wanted to hold him down and hug him to wash out all of his worries.
I really, really, love this book deeply down to my breaking heart.
Trey Grey, how do I even start to put this boy into words. Trey, he is a prostitute, this is all he knows. He is also a college student that suffers from severely OCD. He has been sexual abused since he was a kid. Has been prostituted out as a young boy by the very person who should be caring for him. Trey is so broken almost beyond repair. Almost! He is the one that breaks my heart through out he entire story while reading this. You just hurt for everything that he has ever been through.
It's so hard not to fall in love with Trey. Living his life day by day with nightmare, reminders, OCD freak outs. It is almost like what else can happen to his poor guy. *HUGS TREY*
One day at a restaurant he meets Justin. Trey feels a attraction for Justin but nothing serious at first. He has never been close to anyone and you can blame him for feeling this way. Trey and Justin head over to a house party and hit it off pretty well I might say so myself.
Not only does Trey have his own demons battling him every single day, so does Justin. Justin has his own battles, history, mental illness. These two are so fucked up that they are perfect for each other really. It seems like they are just a disaster waiting to explode and trust me it does. The things they both go through to be together is unreal. I really does make me what to hug them both tightly and fight off all their battles for them.
Given these two characters they are perfect in their own way and makes me love them even more. God, I love this book. The author did a amazing job writing this book. This is in Trey's POV only. There will be a sequel from what I seen on the authors page suppose to be released this year. Fingers cross.
After reading this book I am anxiously waiting for what is to come with Trey and Justin. I need to know what is going to happen next. There are so many things that were left unanswered, so many details that I need to know and find out. I just have to have the next book. So, yes I will be stalking the authors blog waiting to see what she is going to do with these two. It's fucking hard seating here thinking about it when I need the damn book now. UGH! That is a good UGH. I just want the next book. I would highly recommend this to those that like m/m and like it on the dark side.
February 1, 2014
Phew!
Phew wee!
That was pretty darn intense.
Warning: This book deals with heavy abuse: pedophilia, prostitution, rape, suicide, self-mutilation, and severe OCD.
I haven’t felt so invested in such a dark, heart breaking story in a very long time. Hand over my heart – I will never EVER … forget Trey Grey.
You read the blurb and you assume (just like I did) that this is just another one of those healing heart rent-boy type tropes. You know the one; where the victim meets his soul mate who is so magnificent he is only to wave his magical dick and the healing love and light shall pour forth – thus erasing all traces of psychological scarring and it’s manifestations which have plague said victim for a lifetime. And then, you the reader have to accept that all is well and wonderful because love cures everything, right? Well, thank God! This is NOT that book.
Not only does this author deliver a story that is incredibly realistic in terms of how severe child abuse can manifest itself in adult life; she takes the left track in choosing a man with a magical dick who is quite possibly, even more screwed up than Trey himself. It’s an almost laughable scenario but one I can appreciate with glee. What’s the old saying: Like attracts like? Uh-huh …crazy loves crazy alright.
It’s not an easy book to read and considering Trey’s state of mind, his job as a prostitute, his severe OCD and his abhorrence for semen which leads to frantic bouts of scrubbing away layers of his own flesh; I honestly thought it would be darker – more depressing read than it is. It really could have been worse and yes, I was affected …deeply. But Trey’s acceptance of his lot somehow makes it a much easier and dare I say: an enjoyable read. His regular clients are a colourful bunch who brought their own uniqueness and discrete desperation to the story – now juxtaposed with Trey’s own circumstances – it gives him the higher ground, and for me, that makes it easier. I liked that they needed him. Hell! I’m just glad that anyone needed him. I found a lot to ponder about Trey between the lines …
The author has a great skill with characterisation and her knowledge of psychology is well applied. The subject matter is tough and Trey’s recollection through night terrors is not just a device to garner empathy like many other tellers of this trope do. This reads like an unequivocal truth not even the most cynical of readers (ie: me) could knock.
If you want an insta-cure for Trey it’s not happening in this book – you don’t cure years of abuse in a few weeks – I don’t care if your dick was created by Apollo himself. This is a happy-for-now-but-we-still-got-a-long way to go ending – just as it should be.
There are typo’s here, inconsistencies and the misuse of too and to drove me nuts. It’s probably too long for some but I like lengthy novels, though I do admit to feeling the lag between 75% and 90%. I’m happy to ignore all that because this author has written something special here and this (warts and all) is a lot better than plenty of published works out there. She knows her characters, she writes with a true sense of realism that I loved, and that’s a commodity I rarely find anymore.
Highly recommended, but do take note of the warnings.
Phew wee!
That was pretty darn intense.
Warning: This book deals with heavy abuse: pedophilia, prostitution, rape, suicide, self-mutilation, and severe OCD.
I haven’t felt so invested in such a dark, heart breaking story in a very long time. Hand over my heart – I will never EVER … forget Trey Grey.
You read the blurb and you assume (just like I did) that this is just another one of those healing heart rent-boy type tropes. You know the one; where the victim meets his soul mate who is so magnificent he is only to wave his magical dick and the healing love and light shall pour forth – thus erasing all traces of psychological scarring and it’s manifestations which have plague said victim for a lifetime. And then, you the reader have to accept that all is well and wonderful because love cures everything, right? Well, thank God! This is NOT that book.
Not only does this author deliver a story that is incredibly realistic in terms of how severe child abuse can manifest itself in adult life; she takes the left track in choosing a man with a magical dick who is quite possibly, even more screwed up than Trey himself. It’s an almost laughable scenario but one I can appreciate with glee. What’s the old saying: Like attracts like? Uh-huh …crazy loves crazy alright.
It’s not an easy book to read and considering Trey’s state of mind, his job as a prostitute, his severe OCD and his abhorrence for semen which leads to frantic bouts of scrubbing away layers of his own flesh; I honestly thought it would be darker – more depressing read than it is. It really could have been worse and yes, I was affected …deeply. But Trey’s acceptance of his lot somehow makes it a much easier and dare I say: an enjoyable read. His regular clients are a colourful bunch who brought their own uniqueness and discrete desperation to the story – now juxtaposed with Trey’s own circumstances – it gives him the higher ground, and for me, that makes it easier. I liked that they needed him. Hell! I’m just glad that anyone needed him. I found a lot to ponder about Trey between the lines …
The author has a great skill with characterisation and her knowledge of psychology is well applied. The subject matter is tough and Trey’s recollection through night terrors is not just a device to garner empathy like many other tellers of this trope do. This reads like an unequivocal truth not even the most cynical of readers (ie: me) could knock.
If you want an insta-cure for Trey it’s not happening in this book – you don’t cure years of abuse in a few weeks – I don’t care if your dick was created by Apollo himself. This is a happy-for-now-but-we-still-got-a-long way to go ending – just as it should be.
There are typo’s here, inconsistencies and the misuse of too and to drove me nuts. It’s probably too long for some but I like lengthy novels, though I do admit to feeling the lag between 75% and 90%. I’m happy to ignore all that because this author has written something special here and this (warts and all) is a lot better than plenty of published works out there. She knows her characters, she writes with a true sense of realism that I loved, and that’s a commodity I rarely find anymore.
Highly recommended, but do take note of the warnings.
July 16, 2015
You won’t like this book if:
Your eyes bleed while reading grammatical errors.
You can't stand abuse, rape and pedophilia.
You don't like open relationships.
You can’t bear drama.
You ban prostitution.
You won’t accept "cheating".
You reject BDSM and kinky sex.
You are afraid of suicide and self-harm.
You avoid psychos and lunatics.
You can’t digest irony and black humor.
You will like this book if:
You overlook mistakes.
You love tortured souls finding their soul mate.
You adore less than perfect MC.
You seek a permanent zenith.
You can’t live without "angsty" books.
You always have hope against all odds.
You like your molds being broken.
You worship a twisted but true romance.
You need that dizziness in your stomach.
You dream about that so hard-to-find fulfillment.
The story is quite something. And some of you would say: “Oh, no! Abuse again? Crap, drama-drama-drama? Bye bye!”. But here there is something that erases that melodramatic feeling that always accompanies these books: the narrator is sarcastic and ironic and it's a pleasure to listen to him. He doesn’t perceive his life as a tragedy or whines about it all day long. He just lives and accepts it as his own version of an ordinary world with his past, his clients and his classes. Not the normal existence he craves, but an existence anyway.
We are the minions on his shoulder following him everywhere and we live with him the most diverse of situations. Some of them are just so surrealistic you would think you have just jumped into a Dalí picture. Some of them are so crude and raw you would think you are reading a masochistic's diary. Some of them are funny in a dark comedy sense of humor. Some of them are adorable in a bloody teddy bear way. Some of them are just unclassifiable and you don’t look for a shelf for them to fit in. Because all of them, weird as it is, create a puzzle with pieces that, even if they are not from the same box, it’s pretty nonetheless.
I loved the romance. Justin and Trey have a less than romantic beginning, that’s an understatement. But Trey can’t forget him. Why is that? Ok, we already know why, that’s the reason of reading this genre. But self-discoverent is always interesting to me. And I enjoyed the trip. Trey is broken but maybe there is another guy even more broken than himself. I adore that premise, I’m always eager to see how they lead one another in blindness without falling into the pit.
It’s hard, and tortuous and sad, but it’s also beautiful and bright. I suffered, but hey, I love suffering in my books. Because the important feeling always wins, or, to put it another way, the hope always wins. I live that hope and I always pray there is a HEA but if there is no such a thing, at least I have the hope. It’s a bittersweet thought, but the aftertaste is all that matters in the end, because that’s what will accompany you after closing the book.
Now I’m sorry but I should play the devil’s advocate.
First of all, there is something I help can’t myself from criticizing: is everybody here blond? Because it seemed so. At the beginning I thought Trey was blond with blue eyes, but then he was a brunet? I got confused here. Freddie was blond, Thor-like. And Justin is a blue-eyed blond, Pettyfer-like. Seriously, maybe it’s just geography, but I don’t meet that many blond people everyday.
The writing didn’t measure up to the story and that’s a waste and a pity. Editing this book would turn it into something marvelous. I hope there are some corrections for future readers, because they were as distracting as catching a pink elephant driving a car. They stood out. I’m not native, but it hurt. I can’t imagine with English speakers.
*Bitch mode off.*
In the beginning I would have complained about all those pet peeves and run the opposite direction. But Trey’s voice is mesmerizing and there was no way I would have quitted. It’s just not a choice. He made me willing to fight till the end. That should be common in all the novels, that they encourage you to dive into the story and the character’s mind, but it’s not.
So, all in all, would I read it after knowing all that happens in this book?
No idea.
But, was it worth reading? Lemme think...
Answer here:
June 22, 2013
Although I beta-read this book and so already knew what happened, I had to get it from amazon and read it again. This is a very gripping and dark tale about two young men, both with heavy baggage from their younger years. How they find each other, tentatively open up to each other, only to emotionally withdraw again, trying to protect themselves - that all is in times rather heartbreaking. Poor Trey and also poor Justin. The whole read is unputdownable, at least it was for me:) It ends with a very nice HFN, but please know that there will be a sequel. Hopefully not too far in the future, as I really want to know how their journey develops.
August 4, 2013
WARNINGS: Rape, Child Molestation, Prostitution, Self Mutilation, Attempted Suicide
As you can tell from the warnings, this book is heavy on the dark side. Trey Grey was sexual abused from the age of 8 by his step-father and used as a prostitute from around 12 or 13, when his mother died. Trey has severe OCD and can’t even stand his own sperm. He will scrub himself until he bleeds if he comes into contact with sperm. Hell of a disorder to have when you are putting yourself through college as a prostitute.
Trey is attracted to a man he meets at a restaurant, Justin. Justin also has a mental illness. He’s Manic Depressive. There is something about Justin that Trey warms to. Justin never has a relationship with anyone and Trey is the exception to his rule as well.
This is a dark story about Trey and Justin attempting to overcome the symptoms of their illnesses together. I may be strange but I find the ins and outs of mental illness fascinating so this was an extremely interesting read for me. I became emotionally involved with Trey and Justin early on and even understood some of their actions due to their mental illnesses. To say you are rooting for two dark characters to make it on the other side of mental illness seems strange and even a bit stupid to hope for. Those types of mental illnesses tend to keep rearing their dark heads. I was glued to the book to watch as these two pulled themselves up after each fall and grabbed onto each other for sanity. It a strange, dark love story and I enjoyed it. I’ll have to patiently wait for book 2 to see if they come out on the other side of crazy.
The reason I gave this book four stars instead of five is it’s a bit long. I do want to give Tara kudos for the research she would have had to do to get these two mental illnesses so exact and creating a story around the two complicated illnesses.
I was provided a free copy of this book by the author for a honest review.
As you can tell from the warnings, this book is heavy on the dark side. Trey Grey was sexual abused from the age of 8 by his step-father and used as a prostitute from around 12 or 13, when his mother died. Trey has severe OCD and can’t even stand his own sperm. He will scrub himself until he bleeds if he comes into contact with sperm. Hell of a disorder to have when you are putting yourself through college as a prostitute.
Trey is attracted to a man he meets at a restaurant, Justin. Justin also has a mental illness. He’s Manic Depressive. There is something about Justin that Trey warms to. Justin never has a relationship with anyone and Trey is the exception to his rule as well.
This is a dark story about Trey and Justin attempting to overcome the symptoms of their illnesses together. I may be strange but I find the ins and outs of mental illness fascinating so this was an extremely interesting read for me. I became emotionally involved with Trey and Justin early on and even understood some of their actions due to their mental illnesses. To say you are rooting for two dark characters to make it on the other side of mental illness seems strange and even a bit stupid to hope for. Those types of mental illnesses tend to keep rearing their dark heads. I was glued to the book to watch as these two pulled themselves up after each fall and grabbed onto each other for sanity. It a strange, dark love story and I enjoyed it. I’ll have to patiently wait for book 2 to see if they come out on the other side of crazy.
The reason I gave this book four stars instead of five is it’s a bit long. I do want to give Tara kudos for the research she would have had to do to get these two mental illnesses so exact and creating a story around the two complicated illnesses.
I was provided a free copy of this book by the author for a honest review.
June 26, 2013
3.5 stars
One line stands out in the blurb: “Trey travels through his fearscapes”… and we travel right along with him through the good, the bad, and the ugly.
This boy has some serious issues. Trey is abandoned by his mother for a heroin needle, and severely abused from a tender age by his pederast step-father, Willie— who not only beats and tortures him, but uses him, pimps him out, and there’s no one else to care. The childhood sexual and mental abuse is so relentless, taking place over the course of about five years, that it has left Trey with a legacy of self-loathing, depression, and severe OCD— particularly towards semen (including his own). He spends a lot of time cleaning, wiping and scrubbing himself until he bleeds. Such a dilemma for Trey who is now putting himself through college by hooking. Sex for trade moves beyond complicated when simple bodily emissions can trigger nightmares and a downward spiral to self harm. Trey has escaped the home but he hasn’t escaped the horror.
Trey is barely able to keep it all together on his own. Shrinks haven’t helped him, he has no close friends. Well, his closest friend is his car, kitten, which he treats with the utmost care, an uncomplicated love… Trey follows a daily regimen of such strict structure and control that he is stretched tight to snapping, and he walks a dangerous line every time he walks the Avenue. Each trick brings risk and yet he goes back for more. It’s as if he enjoys dancing with danger or… more likely, it’s all he knows, this systematic degradation.
The author is intent that we witness every dark corner, every cranny of Trey’s nightmares. We get a front-row seat to the graphic abuse his step-father inflicted on him. A warning— if these are hard limits. As a result, Trey is resolute in his belief that he is unlovable and un-wantable. It breaks my heart… Trey is in a world of hurt; inner nightmares surface and are relived in an instant from a trigger point— and anything could trigger them.
It’s when a trick assaults Trey that he begins a downward spiral becoming inundated in Willie’s past abuses. At around this time, Trey meets Justin, a seeming ‘golden boy’ on the outside, but actually a fellow inmate who hides his own horrors. The two are immediately attracted to each other. They share an understanding of their personal demons and are able to forge a relationship, rocky though it is, that just might see them through.
“Trey” reminds me a lot of Amy Lane’s, “Chase in Shadow.” That book also gives an up-close, blow-by-blow look at early childhood trauma leading to mental breakdown. Both Chase and Trey are twenty years old at the time of their stories, and they both use the sex trade to deal with their dysfunction. Both stories are very raw portrayals of young men hiding severe pain. Both books have an abundance of angst. However, where Chase has to face and accept his true sexuality (and there lies the issue of that book), Trey is never in doubt that he is gay, he feels comfortable with his orientation. “Trey” is a much darker read because the issue here is the hellacious sexual abuse of a child and how it manifests itself in Trey’s adult behavior. Not only does he get beaten up by his tricks but he’s great at self-inflicted abuse. Much of the story seems to have him recovering from some beating or knife wound. He is punishing himself for what Willie did to him and for his mother’s abandonment.
The writing is very good, generally. The author’s habit of dropping us suddenly into one of Trey’s past nightmares while effective, is jarring. There are lots of tangents to the plot (various rent-boys who come and go; Freddie, the sub who wants to hire Trey as a Dom (!!); Georgie, the trick who’s sudden and brutal murder is left unresolved), and these affect the flow, so some editing would be warranted— the last third of the book dragged a bit for me. This looks to be the first big book for this author and it’s obvious she has serious skills. The story has a satisfactory ending, an HFN, and it seems that there will be a sequel which will continue Trey and Justin’s journey. I’d call this a commendable initial showing.
For this review and lots of other cool stuff please visit: The Blog of Sid Love
March 3, 2014
2 out of 5 stars
***This book was provided free by the author in exchange for an honest review, through the Goodreads “Don't Buy My Love” program***
I am in a very small minority when I rate this book only 2 stars. I was hopeful for so much more, and was expecting the hurt/comfort trope I enjoy so much to be a large part of the story because of the severe abuse that Trey (and to a lesser extent, Justin) experienced as children. Unfortunately, the technical failures of the book overshadowed the story for me, and I actually found it a chore to read.
Positives: there is hurt/comfort which is moving and hopeful. Although there is no HEA, the book does end with a tentative HFN as well as some character healing. Trey is committed to leaving the sex trade, and Justin is coming to grips with his own demons at the end of the book.
Negatives: unfortunately, for me there were many. Firstly, the book is poorly written. There are frequent grammar mistakes (to vs too, your vs you're, missing apostrophes and commas, etc). Early on, I switched into English teacher and essay corrector mode, and I couldn't turn it back off, so all the mistakes just became magnified in my eyes, and took me right out of the story. I had the very definite feeling that someone went crazy with a thesaurus and picked out obscure words to drop in randomly. Or made up words that seem like they should be real, but aren't, like “abnegator”. Blatant disregard became “latent disregard” which is something entirely different. I actually started highlighting them in my Kindle I was getting so irritated with them.
Secondly, the medical and psychiatric aspects of the book were very poorly researched. I'm a medical professional, so I know that I am going to be more critical than the average reader, but it bothered me nonetheless. There is no such thing as a 5 day “psychological coma”. Anyone who scrapes the skin off their body repeatedly and sprays bleach on it will have some really horrific scars that will not be fixable via plastic surgery. When someone has a serious suicide attempt they are going to be committed to a psychiatric hospital for a few days at least. When you stab yourself with a 3 inch wide butcher knife the likelihood of missing all vital organs is slim to none, and the bladder is at the very bottom of the abdomen with the diaphragm at the top, so worrying about both in the same stab wound doesn't make any sense. AAAAUGH!
And finally, I wasn't very happy with the characterization. Trey is fucked up. He has a right to be. It is why I am reading this story, to see him try to heal. And yet, he is fairly successful in college, on scholarship, making good grades, never missing a class, and supporting himself in relative comfort on his prostitution wages for several years until the events of this story. Until his coma. And then he meets Justin, admires his 10 inch dick, they fuck, and he wakes up with a reason to live. Justin also falls in insta-love with Trey. And supposedly Justin has significant psychiatric issues of his own, but he just comes across as whiny and clingy instead of mentally ill, except when he is being supportive of Trey – those were the best parts of the story, but at those moments he was not the broken man he is elsewhere suggested to be. There was little consistency with the characters and their actions, and none of it seemed believable. The parents and grandparents were just bizarre – I mean, whose grandmother walks in on her grandson getting fucked on the kitchen table and “smile[s] warmly and sa[ys] “Hello dear, this must be your new boyfriend?” Really?????
Overall, a very disappointing read. I don't think I will read further in this series
***This book was provided free by the author in exchange for an honest review, through the Goodreads “Don't Buy My Love” program***
I am in a very small minority when I rate this book only 2 stars. I was hopeful for so much more, and was expecting the hurt/comfort trope I enjoy so much to be a large part of the story because of the severe abuse that Trey (and to a lesser extent, Justin) experienced as children. Unfortunately, the technical failures of the book overshadowed the story for me, and I actually found it a chore to read.
Positives: there is hurt/comfort which is moving and hopeful. Although there is no HEA, the book does end with a tentative HFN as well as some character healing. Trey is committed to leaving the sex trade, and Justin is coming to grips with his own demons at the end of the book.
Negatives: unfortunately, for me there were many. Firstly, the book is poorly written. There are frequent grammar mistakes (to vs too, your vs you're, missing apostrophes and commas, etc). Early on, I switched into English teacher and essay corrector mode, and I couldn't turn it back off, so all the mistakes just became magnified in my eyes, and took me right out of the story. I had the very definite feeling that someone went crazy with a thesaurus and picked out obscure words to drop in randomly. Or made up words that seem like they should be real, but aren't, like “abnegator”. Blatant disregard became “latent disregard” which is something entirely different. I actually started highlighting them in my Kindle I was getting so irritated with them.
Secondly, the medical and psychiatric aspects of the book were very poorly researched. I'm a medical professional, so I know that I am going to be more critical than the average reader, but it bothered me nonetheless. There is no such thing as a 5 day “psychological coma”. Anyone who scrapes the skin off their body repeatedly and sprays bleach on it will have some really horrific scars that will not be fixable via plastic surgery. When someone has a serious suicide attempt they are going to be committed to a psychiatric hospital for a few days at least. When you stab yourself with a 3 inch wide butcher knife the likelihood of missing all vital organs is slim to none, and the bladder is at the very bottom of the abdomen with the diaphragm at the top, so worrying about both in the same stab wound doesn't make any sense. AAAAUGH!
And finally, I wasn't very happy with the characterization. Trey is fucked up. He has a right to be. It is why I am reading this story, to see him try to heal. And yet, he is fairly successful in college, on scholarship, making good grades, never missing a class, and supporting himself in relative comfort on his prostitution wages for several years until the events of this story. Until his coma. And then he meets Justin, admires his 10 inch dick, they fuck, and he wakes up with a reason to live. Justin also falls in insta-love with Trey. And supposedly Justin has significant psychiatric issues of his own, but he just comes across as whiny and clingy instead of mentally ill, except when he is being supportive of Trey – those were the best parts of the story, but at those moments he was not the broken man he is elsewhere suggested to be. There was little consistency with the characters and their actions, and none of it seemed believable. The parents and grandparents were just bizarre – I mean, whose grandmother walks in on her grandson getting fucked on the kitchen table and “smile[s] warmly and sa[ys] “Hello dear, this must be your new boyfriend?” Really?????
Overall, a very disappointing read. I don't think I will read further in this series
August 3, 2013
Must. Have. Out of the Dark. Now! Wow this was good but holy shit not an easy read at all. Abuse victims beware. Tara Spears was startlingly brutal in her honesty but fuck if it didnt work for me. Just wow. Soooo ready for the next Trey Grey book!
August 30, 2016
5 I need book 2 stars! Review to come!
September 28, 2013
What a terrific debut novel! This is the story of a boy with a history of HEAVY abuse and the author slowly exposes every one of his many torments. But we also witness how he finds true comfort for the very first time in his adult life.
We meet Trey at 20, he has escaped his step-father and managed to attend university for a couple of years now, but he's still hurting, still turning tricks. And it's not clear where he's going. Especially if you're like me and never pay much attention to the blurb.
Was it depressing? I guess. One of Trey's usual matter of fact assessments of his life sounds like this:
"He could get as rough as he wanted since he couldn't really hurt me. Anything he might do, or could think of for that matter, had already been done to me."
It's dark and super-realistic, though. It's also brutal and hoffific, although we "only" experience the abuse through nightmares and short flashbacks. However, the story never felt outright bleak or hopeless (unlike others, i.e. Angel). Instead, it made me very angry at the sick bastards who mindlessly set out to destroy a young boy. It's not everyday that an author can evoke these emotions.
And the book tells a love story, too, that will eventually provide some healing for Trey: "I didn't itch, I wasn't shaking, and my mind was in a bright place."
I hope the author keeps going, because this was a very promising start. Not alsways a smooth ride, sometimes the writing is a bit on the clumsy side (and there are some typos). I didn't like that we're told about 20 times how Trey experiences sth for the very first time (desire, safety). That could have been handled smoother. Also, there are some inconsistencies, but oh well. It's still much better than what's usually out there.
February 28, 2014
This was a surprisingly enjoyable story about a rentboy with serious phobias resulting from traumatic sexual abuse as a child. Although, the story deals with a dark subject matter I didn't find it overly dark or depressing - I was quite fascinated by how one deals with that type of severe trauma as an adult. There are a few typos and it's pretty long, but I am looking forward to reading the second book in this series.
Want to read
September 1, 2013Kindle FREEBIE today! 9/1/13!
November 26, 2013
4.3 stars. Wait...wait...yes...you will have to wait for my review, but I promise it will be a good one :D
September 15, 2019
Truly amazing and I'm still catching my breath. What an epic tale and I just want more.
Trey has been through some horrific abuse and he's just trying to survive and cope any way he can. When Justin comes into his life he's force to take risks and hope this relationship is real.
I loved how Trey was open about his abuse and tries to get help. I'm still wondering about those "blocked" memories and if his new therapist can reveal them.
I was hoping to dive right into book 2 but I see it's not available...does anyone know why, it's been years since the first book!!!
Trey has been through some horrific abuse and he's just trying to survive and cope any way he can. When Justin comes into his life he's force to take risks and hope this relationship is real.
I loved how Trey was open about his abuse and tries to get help. I'm still wondering about those "blocked" memories and if his new therapist can reveal them.
I was hoping to dive right into book 2 but I see it's not available...does anyone know why, it's been years since the first book!!!
March 2, 2014
Despite the title, I didn't think Trey was dark in the least. Screwed up, yes. Dark, no. Trey had a hard life. His father died early on. His mother turned to drugs and ended up killing herself from an OD. And his lovely step-daddy sexually abused him and rented him out to all of his pedophile friends and business associates through out his teen years. When given an opportunity to run from his step father, Trey takes it and does the only thing he knows to do, he sells himself on the streets.
Trey's early life leaves him with a truckload of baggage including OCD, low self-esteem, active nightmares, and misplaced guilt. He leads a lonely life with only his beloved car, Kitten, to bring him any kind of happiness. Trey is a truly a hot mess and then some. Enter Justin. Justin is a mess of a different kind. And sometimes that is just what you need in order to feel a bit normal.
I know the story seems dark (and it is), but the book isn't. I found the book to be troubling, but hopeful. This was such an interesting look at dealing not only with abuse, but mental illness as well. For me, it underlined the thought that we all just want to feel understood and accepted. There is that innate need to feel normal, even though my normal isn't your normal. Amazingly, despite their combined struggles and trust issues, Trey found that in Justin.
Kelly added a different dimension as well. She was the consummate caregiver and genuinely nice, seemingly without ulterior motive other than to be loved and accepted in return. I'll be curious to see the part she plays in the next book.
This was seriously a good read. Lots of open doors for book two. Can't wait.
Trey's early life leaves him with a truckload of baggage including OCD, low self-esteem, active nightmares, and misplaced guilt. He leads a lonely life with only his beloved car, Kitten, to bring him any kind of happiness. Trey is a truly a hot mess and then some. Enter Justin. Justin is a mess of a different kind. And sometimes that is just what you need in order to feel a bit normal.
I know the story seems dark (and it is), but the book isn't. I found the book to be troubling, but hopeful. This was such an interesting look at dealing not only with abuse, but mental illness as well. For me, it underlined the thought that we all just want to feel understood and accepted. There is that innate need to feel normal, even though my normal isn't your normal. Amazingly, despite their combined struggles and trust issues, Trey found that in Justin.
Kelly added a different dimension as well. She was the consummate caregiver and genuinely nice, seemingly without ulterior motive other than to be loved and accepted in return. I'll be curious to see the part she plays in the next book.
This was seriously a good read. Lots of open doors for book two. Can't wait.
June 10, 2014
Trey was sexually abused for more years then he cares to remember. He's got a psychotic bout of OCD and nightmares he just happens to reenact at times. He escaped his step fathers (the abuser) control but never stop the prostituying. He's almost completely done with college so he plans to
Quit his job. Trey has got some serious issues and has break downs where his mind will go into a coma. He knows he's going to be alone forever.
Then he meets Justin. He seemed normal at first until after a while,a situation happens and he discovers Justin suffers from Manic depression.
They both know nothing good could ever come out of a relationship together but there willing to try and see where it goes.
Justin seemed totally fcked in the head Mayb a little bipolar, but I so loved his character. He was so needy and insecure at times, but when Trey really needed him during his episodes, he was there through everyone. He was the only one who could calm trey and make him feel safe when all trey felt was lost and lonely.
This book of corz is all about trey and how he slowly starts overcoming certain things. I know there's a second book coming and I can't fckin wait, but I hope to see a lot more of Justin and his issues and neediness. I also hope to see trey hurry up and quit his fckin job cause it's hurting Justin and he doesn't deserve all of that. Great read.
Quit his job. Trey has got some serious issues and has break downs where his mind will go into a coma. He knows he's going to be alone forever.
Then he meets Justin. He seemed normal at first until after a while,a situation happens and he discovers Justin suffers from Manic depression.
They both know nothing good could ever come out of a relationship together but there willing to try and see where it goes.
Justin seemed totally fcked in the head Mayb a little bipolar, but I so loved his character. He was so needy and insecure at times, but when Trey really needed him during his episodes, he was there through everyone. He was the only one who could calm trey and make him feel safe when all trey felt was lost and lonely.
This book of corz is all about trey and how he slowly starts overcoming certain things. I know there's a second book coming and I can't fckin wait, but I hope to see a lot more of Justin and his issues and neediness. I also hope to see trey hurry up and quit his fckin job cause it's hurting Justin and he doesn't deserve all of that. Great read.
August 4, 2014
How Trey managed to survive until he was 20, I just don't know. The kid is a big ole fucked up mess and rightfully so. I just couldn't get over his strength. Amazing. Then we finally meet Justin who seems like the perfect, all American boy with the perfect life but he's not so stable either. Together you'd think they'd be a hot mess and they were but in the best possible way. Even though the book was long, I feel we're just at the beginning of their story. They still have so much to overcome. I can't wait to read Trey Grey: Out of the Dark. Loved it!
March 5, 2015
Being the author you would think I would give my own book 5 stars. But I am a finicky reviewer, and although I love Trey and Justin, this was my first book and suffered my zealousness as a new writer.
A revised edition was published 2/28/2015 on both Amazon and Allromanceebooks. I still have more editing to do, but the new edition is much cleaner. Thank you to all who have loved it despite its faults.
A revised edition was published 2/28/2015 on both Amazon and Allromanceebooks. I still have more editing to do, but the new edition is much cleaner. Thank you to all who have loved it despite its faults.
September 8, 2013
My tags/shelving of this book might seem confusing I'm not always referring to the main characters...but mostly I am.
I've labeled several books not the faint of heart but I've never meant it more. If you have survived books from the following: P.L. Nunn, Kele Moon, J.P. Barnaby, Ann Sommerville, and/or Derekica Snake then read Trey's story; if not move the hell on.
I've labeled several books not the faint of heart but I've never meant it more. If you have survived books from the following: P.L. Nunn, Kele Moon, J.P. Barnaby, Ann Sommerville, and/or Derekica Snake then read Trey's story; if not move the hell on.
August 13, 2016
An overwhelming emotional experience from start to finish!
Trey Grey is one of the most complicated characters I have had the privilege of reading in quite some time. He was horrifically abused as a child and continues to deal with the damaging consequences, both physical and mental, that resulted from that abuse. He has been on his own for as long as he can remember, is highly intelligent, and possesses an inner strength that keeps him going even day after day. Trey wants nothing more than to find someone who loves him that he can love in return. When he meets Justin, and experiences his first spark of something more, the unexpected emotions change Trey's world forever.
He has received counseling in the past for the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms that resulted from his years of abuse, and is now attending college. He gets through each day by dealing with his emotions to the best of his ability, but it is a fragile balance between the trauma of the past and hope for the future.
The fact that he continues to work as a prostitute and turn tricks on the street to support himself is a double edged blade. On one side, he works for himself now, no one forces him onto the streets, and there is a strange comfort to be found in the demon that he knows. A part of him still longs to walk away from the chains of the past and find his own way, but fear of the unknown is a battle that is difficult to fight when all his energy is consumed by getting through the day.
While some reviewers have criticized the characterization of the mental health issues Trey displays, I found Spears' interpretation to be believable. Trey is a young man whose mind and body have been pushed beyond the limits most humans will ever have to endure and survived. While certain aspects of the story, (for example his 9 day psychological coma) push the human body's ability to survive to the limits, readers must remember that Trey is, at his core, a young man with an innate will to live, and the extreme circumstances exemplify that aspect of his personality.
The instance of OCD is particularly high among people with above average intelligence, and most people who have OCD are fully aware of the irrationality of their compulsions. It is also frequently seen in people with PTSD. Many people with OCD function for years without medication of any kind, but may need to re-adapt to their environments or start taking medication again, if stressful events occur in their lives. While often able to anticipate this need, symptoms may overwhelm their coping strategies if ignored or triggered unexpectedly, thus resulting in a medical emergency. The symptoms can, and often do, improve for certain patients when they feel safe in their environment. For Trey, his OCD rituals are usually more representative of a coping mechanism than an anxiety based disorder unless he is experiencing a flashback. I also thought that the counselor was wonderful in the way that he interacted with Trey. Counseling is about meeting the needs of each patient individually, and not treating every one like a textbook case. Every person with mental health issues has a unique experience, root cause, and manifestation of their symptoms. Recognizing this uniqueness and responding on a patient to patient basis is the only way to develop a successful doctor / patient relationship.
I thought Trey's perception of himself was particularly well written, as most patients don't think in medical terms about their own diagnosis, and tend to explain it to other people in their own way and using their own terminology. The human mind has a fantastic ability to repress memories and only deal with what it can handle at the time.
This book will take readers on a deep and dark emotional journey, and is not for those readers looking for a lighthearted romance or feel-good story. I thought Spears did a wonderful job with this book. It is steadily paced with a complex story line that builds upon itself as the book progresses. I loved the character interaction, both between Trey and Justin, as well as the complicated array of supporting characters. The level of sexuality was perfect, considering the difficult subject matter; descriptive enough to convey the scene and emotions without being overly graphic.
I gave this book five stars because of the profoundly emotional content but will mention that there were several typos, punctuation, grammar and editing errors. While noticeable, I didn't feel they detracted significantly from the story. I read a lot of self published titles and have learned to overlook most of these type of errors and focus on essence of the story. I also thought the author's vocabulary was great. While I occasionally had to use my dictionary, it's nice to read grown-up words every once in awhile!
I copy of THE DARKER SIDE OF TREY GREY was provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.
Trey Grey is one of the most complicated characters I have had the privilege of reading in quite some time. He was horrifically abused as a child and continues to deal with the damaging consequences, both physical and mental, that resulted from that abuse. He has been on his own for as long as he can remember, is highly intelligent, and possesses an inner strength that keeps him going even day after day. Trey wants nothing more than to find someone who loves him that he can love in return. When he meets Justin, and experiences his first spark of something more, the unexpected emotions change Trey's world forever.
He has received counseling in the past for the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms that resulted from his years of abuse, and is now attending college. He gets through each day by dealing with his emotions to the best of his ability, but it is a fragile balance between the trauma of the past and hope for the future.
The fact that he continues to work as a prostitute and turn tricks on the street to support himself is a double edged blade. On one side, he works for himself now, no one forces him onto the streets, and there is a strange comfort to be found in the demon that he knows. A part of him still longs to walk away from the chains of the past and find his own way, but fear of the unknown is a battle that is difficult to fight when all his energy is consumed by getting through the day.
While some reviewers have criticized the characterization of the mental health issues Trey displays, I found Spears' interpretation to be believable. Trey is a young man whose mind and body have been pushed beyond the limits most humans will ever have to endure and survived. While certain aspects of the story, (for example his 9 day psychological coma) push the human body's ability to survive to the limits, readers must remember that Trey is, at his core, a young man with an innate will to live, and the extreme circumstances exemplify that aspect of his personality.
The instance of OCD is particularly high among people with above average intelligence, and most people who have OCD are fully aware of the irrationality of their compulsions. It is also frequently seen in people with PTSD. Many people with OCD function for years without medication of any kind, but may need to re-adapt to their environments or start taking medication again, if stressful events occur in their lives. While often able to anticipate this need, symptoms may overwhelm their coping strategies if ignored or triggered unexpectedly, thus resulting in a medical emergency. The symptoms can, and often do, improve for certain patients when they feel safe in their environment. For Trey, his OCD rituals are usually more representative of a coping mechanism than an anxiety based disorder unless he is experiencing a flashback. I also thought that the counselor was wonderful in the way that he interacted with Trey. Counseling is about meeting the needs of each patient individually, and not treating every one like a textbook case. Every person with mental health issues has a unique experience, root cause, and manifestation of their symptoms. Recognizing this uniqueness and responding on a patient to patient basis is the only way to develop a successful doctor / patient relationship.
I thought Trey's perception of himself was particularly well written, as most patients don't think in medical terms about their own diagnosis, and tend to explain it to other people in their own way and using their own terminology. The human mind has a fantastic ability to repress memories and only deal with what it can handle at the time.
This book will take readers on a deep and dark emotional journey, and is not for those readers looking for a lighthearted romance or feel-good story. I thought Spears did a wonderful job with this book. It is steadily paced with a complex story line that builds upon itself as the book progresses. I loved the character interaction, both between Trey and Justin, as well as the complicated array of supporting characters. The level of sexuality was perfect, considering the difficult subject matter; descriptive enough to convey the scene and emotions without being overly graphic.
I gave this book five stars because of the profoundly emotional content but will mention that there were several typos, punctuation, grammar and editing errors. While noticeable, I didn't feel they detracted significantly from the story. I read a lot of self published titles and have learned to overlook most of these type of errors and focus on essence of the story. I also thought the author's vocabulary was great. While I occasionally had to use my dictionary, it's nice to read grown-up words every once in awhile!
I copy of THE DARKER SIDE OF TREY GREY was provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.
August 12, 2016
*I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.*
This is review take 2 now that I've had some time to step away from the book and process.
I was really hoping I would like this book but it turned out to just not be for me.
I did like the beginning and the characters. I was very impressed with how strong Trey had to be to deal with the absolutely awful things that happened to him. I was a bit uncomfortable with Trey's attitude towards women, but given his past I thought it was understandable. I liked Justin as well, but since the whole book is from Trey's point of view, I didn't get to know him as well.
This book is definitely not your average romance with a meet cute and HEA. It's really more Trey's story but it still has lots of romantic moments. I found Trey and Justin's relationship rather insta-lovey. There's nothing wrong with that, I'm just personally not a fan of this. The book does have a HFN and sets up for a sequel.
I found some of the medical issues and therapy discussed in the book very unrealistic. My personal experiences with psychiatry and health insurance didn't line up with what was portrayed in the book. I cannot imagine any of the mental health professionals that I know in real life ever saying some of the things that the therapist in this book says. However my feelings are just based on my own observations, it's quite possible things like this could be happening elsewhere. It was just hard for me personally to believe.
As a reader, I am unable to turn off my inner editor. At the time I read this book, it had not been edited, which I was unaware of until I read it. I have never read a book with as many mistakes as this one. It had a lot of their/they're/there, its/it's, and your/you're mix ups, as well as other word swaps of the kind that aren't picked up by spell check. There were also words that I felt were used incorrectly and comma and apostrophe misusage. I absolutely cannot handle these kinds of mistakes in books. I know this about myself, so I try to avoid things that might have these errors, but the sample for this is actually pretty clean. I didn't start seeing these issues until a quarter of the way in. Unfortunately, I am just completely unable to get my brain to ignore these. This pulled me out of the story every page or so and made the book seem way too long. I feel like I may have missed some important points because I was so distracted.
I thought this book had a lot of potential at the beginning but it just didn't work for me. However I'm in the minority with this review, so your mileage may vary.
This is review take 2 now that I've had some time to step away from the book and process.
I was really hoping I would like this book but it turned out to just not be for me.
I did like the beginning and the characters. I was very impressed with how strong Trey had to be to deal with the absolutely awful things that happened to him. I was a bit uncomfortable with Trey's attitude towards women, but given his past I thought it was understandable. I liked Justin as well, but since the whole book is from Trey's point of view, I didn't get to know him as well.
This book is definitely not your average romance with a meet cute and HEA. It's really more Trey's story but it still has lots of romantic moments. I found Trey and Justin's relationship rather insta-lovey. There's nothing wrong with that, I'm just personally not a fan of this. The book does have a HFN and sets up for a sequel.
I found some of the medical issues and therapy discussed in the book very unrealistic. My personal experiences with psychiatry and health insurance didn't line up with what was portrayed in the book. I cannot imagine any of the mental health professionals that I know in real life ever saying some of the things that the therapist in this book says. However my feelings are just based on my own observations, it's quite possible things like this could be happening elsewhere. It was just hard for me personally to believe.
As a reader, I am unable to turn off my inner editor. At the time I read this book, it had not been edited, which I was unaware of until I read it. I have never read a book with as many mistakes as this one. It had a lot of their/they're/there, its/it's, and your/you're mix ups, as well as other word swaps of the kind that aren't picked up by spell check. There were also words that I felt were used incorrectly and comma and apostrophe misusage. I absolutely cannot handle these kinds of mistakes in books. I know this about myself, so I try to avoid things that might have these errors, but the sample for this is actually pretty clean. I didn't start seeing these issues until a quarter of the way in. Unfortunately, I am just completely unable to get my brain to ignore these. This pulled me out of the story every page or so and made the book seem way too long. I feel like I may have missed some important points because I was so distracted.
I thought this book had a lot of potential at the beginning but it just didn't work for me. However I'm in the minority with this review, so your mileage may vary.
February 10, 2014
Alright, I've been able to give my brain some time to come down off of its Trey Grey high so I'm able to tell you all how fucking amazing it is!
First off- Big thank you to the lovely Amber over at Amber's Reading Room (http://www.ambersreadingroom.com/?zx=...) for introducing me to the oh so lovely Trey!
Let's get down to business.
I am a lover of all things dark. If it hurts to read, I want it. I am a literary masochist and this book definitely raised the mercury on my dark-o-meter!
TREY GREY
I wanted to crawl inside of my kindle and cuddle the fuck out of him! Life took a giant steamy shit on Trey and seems to enjoy using him as its own personal toilet because he just can't seem to catch a break! My heart broke for him over and over and over. I don't want to get into any specifics because you should hear it from Trey himself, not me.
What I will tell you is that as a result of his horrifying life experiences, he has developed an intense case of OCD. When I say intense, I mean douse-yourself-in-bleach-and-scrub-yourself-until-you-bleed intense!
Then finally, Trey meets someone who will change how he sees and experiences everything!
Justin <3<3
JUSTIN+TREY=SOOOO MUCH HAPPYFACE
Anyways, Trey isn't the only one with issues in this book. Justin hasn't had an easy life either. Sure, he didn't suffer like Trey, but he suffered in his own way and it molded him into who he is today;broken and scared. I see him as this super sweet teddy bear that I want to cuddle up with, I need a Justin/Kelli/Trey sammich <3
You're probably thinking something like "two people with a shit ton of issues is just a recipe for disaster" I could totally see where one would think that. HOWEVER, sometimes finding someone as equally broken is exactly what you need to feel whole. That's how it is for them. Trey and Justin heal each other, understand each other, support each other, and ultimately complete eachother.
This is a story I won't forget and DAMNIT I CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE!!
First off- Big thank you to the lovely Amber over at Amber's Reading Room (http://www.ambersreadingroom.com/?zx=...) for introducing me to the oh so lovely Trey!
Let's get down to business.
I am a lover of all things dark. If it hurts to read, I want it. I am a literary masochist and this book definitely raised the mercury on my dark-o-meter!
TREY GREY
I wanted to crawl inside of my kindle and cuddle the fuck out of him! Life took a giant steamy shit on Trey and seems to enjoy using him as its own personal toilet because he just can't seem to catch a break! My heart broke for him over and over and over. I don't want to get into any specifics because you should hear it from Trey himself, not me.
What I will tell you is that as a result of his horrifying life experiences, he has developed an intense case of OCD. When I say intense, I mean douse-yourself-in-bleach-and-scrub-yourself-until-you-bleed intense!
Then finally, Trey meets someone who will change how he sees and experiences everything!
Justin <3<3
JUSTIN+TREY=SOOOO MUCH HAPPYFACE
Anyways, Trey isn't the only one with issues in this book. Justin hasn't had an easy life either. Sure, he didn't suffer like Trey, but he suffered in his own way and it molded him into who he is today;broken and scared. I see him as this super sweet teddy bear that I want to cuddle up with, I need a Justin/Kelli/Trey sammich <3
You're probably thinking something like "two people with a shit ton of issues is just a recipe for disaster" I could totally see where one would think that. HOWEVER, sometimes finding someone as equally broken is exactly what you need to feel whole. That's how it is for them. Trey and Justin heal each other, understand each other, support each other, and ultimately complete eachother.
This is a story I won't forget and DAMNIT I CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE!!
August 8, 2021
I liked the book, but it didn't blow me away. I found myself much more engaged during the first half of the book than the latter half.
During the last half, the story began to feel every bit of its 434 pages, with a lot of droning on that I found harder to stay focused on than in previous pages.
I actually ended up liking Justin (slightly) more than Trey, but it seemed that as soon as we found out about Justin's insecurity issues, we never again saw the slightly cocky, in-your-face side of Justin that drew Trey to him to begin with.
Also, if you're a grammar Nazi, then the incorrect use of 'to' vs. 'too' is bound to make you a little nuts. It also seemed like the author found a thesaurus and was *dying* to pull quite a few seldom-used words out of it to spray here and there like lawn fertilizer. Kind of odd coming from Trey, who never mentioned that he was ever decent in English or any type of a reader. It left me feeling like, ‘from whose butt did that word get pulled?’
I do want to read the sequel when it's released; however, if you're looking for other abuse-themed books that (IMHO) are better, my suggestions would be 'The Sky is Dead' by Sue Brown or 'Silent' by Sara Alva. Both of those books were well-paced and keep your attention from first to last page.
3 ½ ★'s, rounding up.
March 15, 2015
★★★☆☆½
Read this for the EZ M/M March BoTM. As the book opens we learn that Trey is a rent boy and student. But that's not all (it never is, right?) Through dreams and flashbacks, Trey's horrific childhood becomes apparent when his father dies when he's 8 and his mother remarries when he's 10 to a man who has his eyes and more on Trey and his mother becomes a heroin addict and abdicates all sense of responsibility and protection for Trey.
Needless to say, when the book opens, Trey has more than a few tics and the fact that he's been able to mostly stay on track with his degree shows his survival instinct. .
He's sort of holding it together and meets Justin who has his own issues and quirks. Trey knows immediately it's different with Justin - he feelz. Except will each other's issues destroy them both?
I wasn't sure what to expect and it was much better than I thought it would be. Needs more editing but overall a good story.
Read this for the EZ M/M March BoTM. As the book opens we learn that Trey is a rent boy and student. But that's not all (it never is, right?) Through dreams and flashbacks, Trey's horrific childhood becomes apparent when his father dies when he's 8 and his mother remarries when he's 10 to a man who has his eyes and more on Trey and his mother becomes a heroin addict and abdicates all sense of responsibility and protection for Trey.
Needless to say, when the book opens, Trey has more than a few tics and the fact that he's been able to mostly stay on track with his degree shows his survival instinct. .
He's sort of holding it together and meets Justin who has his own issues and quirks. Trey knows immediately it's different with Justin - he feelz. Except will each other's issues destroy them both?
I wasn't sure what to expect and it was much better than I thought it would be. Needs more editing but overall a good story.
February 15, 2014
This book captivated me. Although the subject matter is so sad and depressing, with Tara Spears skill, that by the time I was finished my heart was full of joy. The writing had a few issues, but I just skipped over them as I was so engrossed in the story. There was even a little bit of humour to be found that saved my heart from completely breaking. But the most important part of this story for me was that there was no magical fix for the problems that Trey faced. In far to many of books like this, love is found and lifetime problems are solved. That didn't happen, and I, as a fairly jaded reader, appreciated that wholeheartedly.
There is a wonderful cast of secondary characters, that have both small and more important parts in this story. I enjoyed them all. I also enjoyed the affection and humour supplied by two characters that are actually cars.
I can't wait for the next book. I am very excited to continue on with Trey and Justin on their journey.
There is a wonderful cast of secondary characters, that have both small and more important parts in this story. I enjoyed them all. I also enjoyed the affection and humour supplied by two characters that are actually cars.
I can't wait for the next book. I am very excited to continue on with Trey and Justin on their journey.
February 27, 2014
I received a copy of this book via Goodreads' Don't Buy my Love program in exchange for an honest review.
Trey Grey is a college student, and a prostitiute. He has been turning tricks since he was a young teen, prodded on this course by his physically and sexually abusive step-father. Trey is a survivor of some of the most horrific exploitation one could imagine, and now on his own he turns tricks to supplement his scholarship money. He's a pretty high class hooker, with a semi-regular clientele of well-to-do closeted men, women and pairs.
He also suffers nightmares, interactive episodes that trigger self harm through OCD scrubbing. After one particularly bad episode, Trey becomes psychologically catatonic for five days and is discovered soiled in his bedclothes. The treatment to return him to functioning includes mandatory therapy. After his first visit, Trey meets Justin at a nearby restaurant. They share a meal and Justin invites Trey to the party he's attending, warning Trey that it's a sex party...
In this event, Trey actually experiences arousal of his own. He's been a sex trade worker so long he's inured to the arousal, but Justin turns him on as no one ever had. Justin is emotionally battered, too, however, and Trey flees. Temporarily.
Between these two broken souls, they recognize a need, an ability to smooth the rough edges. Justin is able to assuage Trey's nightmares--not always in time.
Trey is still a prostitute, but Justin and he reach an understanding. They agree to live together, as soon as the semester ends. There are some serious issues between them, not the least of which is Trey's self-harming behavior, and Justin's struggles with depression, however, in the end it seems as though they are better for having each other to lean on. Through therapy, and opening up to Justin, Trey comes to terms with some deeply repressed memories that may even be healed in the near future.
The book is written to be the first in a series, but ends in a way that is complete. No cliffhanger.
The material within is as advertised: DARK. There is no escaping the horror of Trey's habitual rape at the hands of his stepfather and johns. He is also brutalized by his current johns, and himself. It is really gut-wrenching in its scope. I had trouble with some of the editing--there were numerous grammatical and spelling errors that did detract from my reading enjoyment. This aside, the story is powerful and compelling and I would consider reading the second book to find out if Trey can conquer his demons enough to find solace and love, with Justin, and for himself.
Trey Grey is a college student, and a prostitiute. He has been turning tricks since he was a young teen, prodded on this course by his physically and sexually abusive step-father. Trey is a survivor of some of the most horrific exploitation one could imagine, and now on his own he turns tricks to supplement his scholarship money. He's a pretty high class hooker, with a semi-regular clientele of well-to-do closeted men, women and pairs.
He also suffers nightmares, interactive episodes that trigger self harm through OCD scrubbing. After one particularly bad episode, Trey becomes psychologically catatonic for five days and is discovered soiled in his bedclothes. The treatment to return him to functioning includes mandatory therapy. After his first visit, Trey meets Justin at a nearby restaurant. They share a meal and Justin invites Trey to the party he's attending, warning Trey that it's a sex party...
In this event, Trey actually experiences arousal of his own. He's been a sex trade worker so long he's inured to the arousal, but Justin turns him on as no one ever had. Justin is emotionally battered, too, however, and Trey flees. Temporarily.
Between these two broken souls, they recognize a need, an ability to smooth the rough edges. Justin is able to assuage Trey's nightmares--not always in time.
Trey is still a prostitute, but Justin and he reach an understanding. They agree to live together, as soon as the semester ends. There are some serious issues between them, not the least of which is Trey's self-harming behavior, and Justin's struggles with depression, however, in the end it seems as though they are better for having each other to lean on. Through therapy, and opening up to Justin, Trey comes to terms with some deeply repressed memories that may even be healed in the near future.
The book is written to be the first in a series, but ends in a way that is complete. No cliffhanger.
The material within is as advertised: DARK. There is no escaping the horror of Trey's habitual rape at the hands of his stepfather and johns. He is also brutalized by his current johns, and himself. It is really gut-wrenching in its scope. I had trouble with some of the editing--there were numerous grammatical and spelling errors that did detract from my reading enjoyment. This aside, the story is powerful and compelling and I would consider reading the second book to find out if Trey can conquer his demons enough to find solace and love, with Justin, and for himself.
August 13, 2016
I received a copy of this book via Goodreads' Don't Buy my Love program in exchange for an honest review.
I want to start off by saying this is not a typical m/m romance. The main characters meeting did not solve all problems. It is something that they were working together to improve. Not a magical fix, which I liked. It was realistic in how severe child abuse can manifest itself in adult life, and how these issues are worked through and improved upon.
This story is slightly dark and deals with rape, child molestation, prostitution, and the effects these things have on a person. At times is was graphic but this way it was presented made it slightly more bearable. At no time was I overwhelmed and want to stop reading. I felt sorry for Trey and Justin and wanted to see them getting better.
This is not an easy book to read, due to mental issues in both MC's resulting from past abuses. It is made enjoyable due to acceptance and hope for a chance to be normal, or at least to a closer version of normal.
The only real negatives I have are length and typo's. There are quite a few typos throughout the book which distracted from the overall story. The novel is also a little on the long side and had a few slow sections that could have been reworked / shortened to make the story flow better.
Overall, I felt the story was very powerful and compelling and I would consider reading the next book to find out if Trey and Justin can conquer their demons enough to find comfort and love with each other.
I want to start off by saying this is not a typical m/m romance. The main characters meeting did not solve all problems. It is something that they were working together to improve. Not a magical fix, which I liked. It was realistic in how severe child abuse can manifest itself in adult life, and how these issues are worked through and improved upon.
This story is slightly dark and deals with rape, child molestation, prostitution, and the effects these things have on a person. At times is was graphic but this way it was presented made it slightly more bearable. At no time was I overwhelmed and want to stop reading. I felt sorry for Trey and Justin and wanted to see them getting better.
This is not an easy book to read, due to mental issues in both MC's resulting from past abuses. It is made enjoyable due to acceptance and hope for a chance to be normal, or at least to a closer version of normal.
The only real negatives I have are length and typo's. There are quite a few typos throughout the book which distracted from the overall story. The novel is also a little on the long side and had a few slow sections that could have been reworked / shortened to make the story flow better.
Overall, I felt the story was very powerful and compelling and I would consider reading the next book to find out if Trey and Justin can conquer their demons enough to find comfort and love with each other.
March 8, 2014
(This book was provided free in return for an honest review.)
Trey Grey, child abuse victim, now prostitute and college student lives a dark, nightmare-riddled life. The first half of the book is mostly about his current life and portrays how his memory nightmares of abuse have manifested as OCD, a high aversion to bodily fluids and self-abuse in regards to cleanliness. His emotions are flat (the author intended this I believe) and as a reader you feel like maybe he doesn’t care about himself, but deep down he does (and the reader does too). After a psychotic breakdown, Trey starts to meet the right people to get his life together. He is “nursed” back to health by a wonderfully helpful male nurse named Gale, and meets a simple, straightforward therapist (Dr. Greene). Healed of his latest disaster he meets Justin and Kelley. Justin and Trey hit it off right away and turn out to be the best medicine for both of them as Justin is a suicide-attempt victim. The boys turn to each other for emotional and physical support.
This is a very emotionally driven book. My heart aches for Trey and Justin and sings for the love they declare for each other at the end of the story. Book 2 is noted at the end as their story continues. While I doubt I would read this story a second time (don’t know if my heart could take it), I’m curious where the boys will end up.
Trey Grey, child abuse victim, now prostitute and college student lives a dark, nightmare-riddled life. The first half of the book is mostly about his current life and portrays how his memory nightmares of abuse have manifested as OCD, a high aversion to bodily fluids and self-abuse in regards to cleanliness. His emotions are flat (the author intended this I believe) and as a reader you feel like maybe he doesn’t care about himself, but deep down he does (and the reader does too). After a psychotic breakdown, Trey starts to meet the right people to get his life together. He is “nursed” back to health by a wonderfully helpful male nurse named Gale, and meets a simple, straightforward therapist (Dr. Greene). Healed of his latest disaster he meets Justin and Kelley. Justin and Trey hit it off right away and turn out to be the best medicine for both of them as Justin is a suicide-attempt victim. The boys turn to each other for emotional and physical support.
This is a very emotionally driven book. My heart aches for Trey and Justin and sings for the love they declare for each other at the end of the story. Book 2 is noted at the end as their story continues. While I doubt I would read this story a second time (don’t know if my heart could take it), I’m curious where the boys will end up.
February 12, 2016
I quite liked this book, it was another rather nasty book about 2 teens in collage coming to terms with their violent and abusive childhoods. I really want to read book #2 but this was released in 2013 and book #2 is nowhere to be seen.
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