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The Second Baby Book: How to cope with pregnancy number two and create a happy home for your firstborn and new arrival
'The thing about having a second baby is it's likely to differ a lot from your first experience. Sarah Ockwell's Smith's guide looks at the challenges you might face along with some practical tips to consider. The book offers a friendly feel that reminds us issues and all, we'll be just fine' Mirror, Best Baby Books for Parents 2020
Having a second baby is a very different experience from having your first, yet there is little recognition of the wide range of issues that need to be considered when bringing a second child into the family. In this incredibly helpful book, Sarah Ockwell-Smith helps parents feel more positive and prepared for life with two children.
The book begins with the obvious when is the right time to add another member to the family? It then goes on to examine the specific issues that can arise with a second pregnancy and birth; the common concerns about siblings, such as how to prepare your firstborn for what's to come; how to cope with the practicalities of life with two young children (aka actually managing to get anything done!); and the feelings parents are likely to experience, too.
The Second Baby Book examines all the questions and issues Sarah herself faced second time around, as well as sharing the experiences of the many parents who have sought her advice. It also highlights what scientific studies reveal about such issues as the spacing of children and the differences between first and second births. Practical, insightful and honest, this book will help you understand the challenges ahead but, more importantly, it will equip you to meet them with knowledge, confidence and a sense of excitement for the future.
Having a second baby is a very different experience from having your first, yet there is little recognition of the wide range of issues that need to be considered when bringing a second child into the family. In this incredibly helpful book, Sarah Ockwell-Smith helps parents feel more positive and prepared for life with two children.
The book begins with the obvious when is the right time to add another member to the family? It then goes on to examine the specific issues that can arise with a second pregnancy and birth; the common concerns about siblings, such as how to prepare your firstborn for what's to come; how to cope with the practicalities of life with two young children (aka actually managing to get anything done!); and the feelings parents are likely to experience, too.
The Second Baby Book examines all the questions and issues Sarah herself faced second time around, as well as sharing the experiences of the many parents who have sought her advice. It also highlights what scientific studies reveal about such issues as the spacing of children and the differences between first and second births. Practical, insightful and honest, this book will help you understand the challenges ahead but, more importantly, it will equip you to meet them with knowledge, confidence and a sense of excitement for the future.
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First published March 7, 2019
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About the author
Sarah Ockwell-Smith
84 books227 followersBorn in Bedfordshire, England in 1976, Sarah Ockwell-Smith is a mother of four school aged children, three boys and one girl.
After graduating with an honors degree in Psychology, specialising in child development, she embarked on a five year career in Pharmaceutical Research and Development, working with clinical trial data, until she became pregnant with her first child in 2001. After the birth of her firstborn Sarah retrained as an Antenatal Teacher, hypnotherapist/Psychotherapist, Infant Massage Instructor and Birth and Postnatal Doula. Over the years Sarah has updated her knowledge with various study days and courses including paediatric first aid, paediatric safeguarding, perinatal psychology and birth trauma.
Sarah now works as a parenting author, writer and coach. With a particular interest in child sleep.
After graduating with an honors degree in Psychology, specialising in child development, she embarked on a five year career in Pharmaceutical Research and Development, working with clinical trial data, until she became pregnant with her first child in 2001. After the birth of her firstborn Sarah retrained as an Antenatal Teacher, hypnotherapist/Psychotherapist, Infant Massage Instructor and Birth and Postnatal Doula. Over the years Sarah has updated her knowledge with various study days and courses including paediatric first aid, paediatric safeguarding, perinatal psychology and birth trauma.
Sarah now works as a parenting author, writer and coach. With a particular interest in child sleep.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 123 reviews
December 30, 2020
I'm glad I didn't read this before deciding to have a second baby (I would have been paralysed by indecision, I suspect - how long is long enough? Jury is still out), but I wish I had read it before giving birth, as there's lots of helpful advice around pregnancy and labour, particularly after a traumatic first birth.
The second half of the book focusing on sibling dynamics and how to ensure you support your firstborn was really helpful. My feelings of near constant guilt and anxiety that I'm getting everything wrong was reassuringly validated as normal, and the advice on how to handle little people feelings was also useful. Helpfully, the pandemic has ensured I always have a second pair of hands in the house, but there are other challenges we face and will no doubt continue to do so as the kids grow up, but this book has given me lots to think about.
The second half of the book focusing on sibling dynamics and how to ensure you support your firstborn was really helpful. My feelings of near constant guilt and anxiety that I'm getting everything wrong was reassuringly validated as normal, and the advice on how to handle little people feelings was also useful. Helpfully, the pandemic has ensured I always have a second pair of hands in the house, but there are other challenges we face and will no doubt continue to do so as the kids grow up, but this book has given me lots to think about.
June 15, 2021
I didn't get much from this book at all, baby number 2 is on the way, our firstborn will be 18 months when number 2 arrives, there is advice if your firstborn is 3+ but younger than that I didn't find anything. Alot of it is common sense, things you can reuse - breast pump, blankets, bassinet, I just felt like reading that was a duh moment/ filler for a chapter. Obviously you can reuse all those things. Saying you feel bad reusing your first babies clothes, baby number 2 getting hand me downs, I mean buy baby number 2 a few special things but honestly newborn clothes are worn for what a few weeks? No need to feel guilty about reusing them at all.
I did take one thing away from this book but for a book based on baby number 2 arriving, the advice was a bit lacking I wouldn't recommend.
I did take one thing away from this book but for a book based on baby number 2 arriving, the advice was a bit lacking I wouldn't recommend.
November 25, 2021
Ši knyga yra būtent tai, ko man reikėjo besilaukiant antrojo vaiko. Praktiniu požiūri juk antrąjį vaiką prižiūrėti lengviau, žinai, ko tikėtis, ką daryti ligų atveju ar kaip paprasčiausiai tvarkytis buityje su naujagimiu. Tačiau ne viskas taip paprasta. Juk pirmagimis su savo emocijomis niekur nedingsta, o kur dar tapimas iš vienturčio ir dėmesio centro į vyresnįjį brolį. Esu mačiusi labai skirtingų pavyzdžių brolių ir seserų santykių ir niekaip nesupratau, iš kur toks skirtumas, juk tėvai visada nori tik geriausio ir kad vaikų tarpusavio santykiai būtų kuo sklandesni. Tad ši knyga būtent apie viską nuo pradžių: apsisprendimo turėti antrąjį vaiką, paties nėštumo, pasiruošimo gimdymui, vidinių mamos jausmų bei pirmųjų dienų jau su dviem vaikais.
Pirmieji skyriai skirti dar tik svarstantiems, ar tikrai būtų džiugus šeimos pagausėjimas. Kada geriausias laikas susilaukti antrojo vaiko, koks visgi amžiaus skirtumas tarp vaikų geriausias (ne tik vaikams, bet ir tėvams). Gana plačiai net papunkčiui išryškinti tiek privalumai, tiek trūkumai, moksliniai faktai bei kitų tėvų patirtys. Taip pat rašoma apie antrąjį pastojimą, kokia tikimybė pastoti žindant, savo viso ciklo metu ir kodėl galbūt taip lengvai pastojus pirmąjį kartą, susiduriama su antriniu nevaisingumu.
Tolimesni skyriai labiau praktiški. Kodėl būtent nuo šešto nėštumo mėnesio ir po vaiko gimimo pirmus tris mėnesius pirmagimio atžvilgiu niekas neturėtų kisti, kodėl rutina tokia reikalinga. Kokius, daiktus galima vėl panaudoti. Kai prasideda gimdymo veikla, kaip elgtis ir kur turėtų likti pirmagimis. Šie skyriai man priminė, kad tikrai dar ne viskam esu pasiruošusi ir liko daug neatsakytų klausimų, kuriuos šeimoje dar teks aptarti.
Galiausiai autorė gana plačiai kalba ir apie mamą užplūdusius naujus labiau neigiamus jausmus. Atsiranda baimė dėl meilės antrajam, kaltė dėl per mažai skiriamo dėmesio vyresnėliui, o kur dar sudėtingos situacijos, kai abiem vaikams tuo pačiu metu prireikia mamos. Labiausiai įsiminė mini praktiniai pasidalijimai tarp vaikų bei vyro ir žmonos, kurie gali padėti išlaikyti tėvų – vaikų ryšį ir kad nei vienas vaikas nesijaustų apleistas kito šeimos nario. Taip pat kitų mamų pasakojimai, kokios emocijos užplūdo tam tikrose situacijose bei kaip su jomis tvarkėsi.
Norėjosi sužinoti daugiau apie pirmojo vaiko emocijas ir kaip reiktų su jomis kovoti, nepalūžtant pačiai. Žinoma, kiekvienas vaikas skirtingas ir reakcija į tam tikrus dalykus gali kardinaliai skirtis. Tačiau norėjosi išgirsti daugiau pasakojimų apie pirmojo vaiko tiek emocinį, tiek psichologinį pasaulį. Taip pat Lietuvoje kai kurios gimdymo praktikos (pasirinkta savu noru iš anksto cezario pjūvio operacija ir kiti su tuo susiję prašymai, gimdymas namuose) netaikomos bei neaktualios. Nors buvo įdomu sužinoti kaip tokiu atveju elgiamasi.
Man ši knyga buvo naudinga ne tik išsikelti konkretiems klausimams, kuriuos dar reiks aptarti šeimoje, bet ir ramesnei jausenai, užtikrinimui, kad bet kokiu atveju, viskas bus gerai. Visiems visko pasitaiko. Tiek blogesnių dienų, tiek geresnių, nuo ko keičiasi emocijos bei santykiai. Todėl drąsiai šią knygą rekomenduoju planuojantiems šeimos pagausėjimą ar jau besilaukiantiems tėvams.
Daugiau apžvalgų rasite:
https://www.juoduantbalto.lt
IG: https://www.instagram.com/panele_zi
Pirmieji skyriai skirti dar tik svarstantiems, ar tikrai būtų džiugus šeimos pagausėjimas. Kada geriausias laikas susilaukti antrojo vaiko, koks visgi amžiaus skirtumas tarp vaikų geriausias (ne tik vaikams, bet ir tėvams). Gana plačiai net papunkčiui išryškinti tiek privalumai, tiek trūkumai, moksliniai faktai bei kitų tėvų patirtys. Taip pat rašoma apie antrąjį pastojimą, kokia tikimybė pastoti žindant, savo viso ciklo metu ir kodėl galbūt taip lengvai pastojus pirmąjį kartą, susiduriama su antriniu nevaisingumu.
Tolimesni skyriai labiau praktiški. Kodėl būtent nuo šešto nėštumo mėnesio ir po vaiko gimimo pirmus tris mėnesius pirmagimio atžvilgiu niekas neturėtų kisti, kodėl rutina tokia reikalinga. Kokius, daiktus galima vėl panaudoti. Kai prasideda gimdymo veikla, kaip elgtis ir kur turėtų likti pirmagimis. Šie skyriai man priminė, kad tikrai dar ne viskam esu pasiruošusi ir liko daug neatsakytų klausimų, kuriuos šeimoje dar teks aptarti.
Galiausiai autorė gana plačiai kalba ir apie mamą užplūdusius naujus labiau neigiamus jausmus. Atsiranda baimė dėl meilės antrajam, kaltė dėl per mažai skiriamo dėmesio vyresnėliui, o kur dar sudėtingos situacijos, kai abiem vaikams tuo pačiu metu prireikia mamos. Labiausiai įsiminė mini praktiniai pasidalijimai tarp vaikų bei vyro ir žmonos, kurie gali padėti išlaikyti tėvų – vaikų ryšį ir kad nei vienas vaikas nesijaustų apleistas kito šeimos nario. Taip pat kitų mamų pasakojimai, kokios emocijos užplūdo tam tikrose situacijose bei kaip su jomis tvarkėsi.
Norėjosi sužinoti daugiau apie pirmojo vaiko emocijas ir kaip reiktų su jomis kovoti, nepalūžtant pačiai. Žinoma, kiekvienas vaikas skirtingas ir reakcija į tam tikrus dalykus gali kardinaliai skirtis. Tačiau norėjosi išgirsti daugiau pasakojimų apie pirmojo vaiko tiek emocinį, tiek psichologinį pasaulį. Taip pat Lietuvoje kai kurios gimdymo praktikos (pasirinkta savu noru iš anksto cezario pjūvio operacija ir kiti su tuo susiję prašymai, gimdymas namuose) netaikomos bei neaktualios. Nors buvo įdomu sužinoti kaip tokiu atveju elgiamasi.
Man ši knyga buvo naudinga ne tik išsikelti konkretiems klausimams, kuriuos dar reiks aptarti šeimoje, bet ir ramesnei jausenai, užtikrinimui, kad bet kokiu atveju, viskas bus gerai. Visiems visko pasitaiko. Tiek blogesnių dienų, tiek geresnių, nuo ko keičiasi emocijos bei santykiai. Todėl drąsiai šią knygą rekomenduoju planuojantiems šeimos pagausėjimą ar jau besilaukiantiems tėvams.
Daugiau apžvalgų rasite:
https://www.juoduantbalto.lt
IG: https://www.instagram.com/panele_zi
March 27, 2021
This book is charming to give you a professional view on the aspect while expecting and later a second baby. It mainly gives you an overview of what you help you can have while living in the UK. Nevertheless, it is helpful to know all possibilities and included stories are very inspiring, even if you live elsewhere than in the UK it may benefit you as it gives an excellent knowledge to create labour that you want.
June 17, 2020
Fast and light reading, I found few useful points, the rest is mainly something you already know but it’s reassuring to read again.
March 8, 2022
I took my time reading this and I am so glad that I did. The book is set up to first approach *if you want to have a second baby, then when you get pregnant, and finally when your second arrives.
I started reading this a few months after giving birth, so the first half of the book I had already gone through. But it was great validation that I did tackle some things that were advised.
The second half is really what I appreciated. Sarah Ockwell-Smith really does outline as many situations and scenarios that a mother/family can go through when welcoming in another child. I really enjoyed the friendly tips, especially the section on Mom Guilt and the importance of self-care. The only issue I had with this book is that it is very UK-centric. Some terminology used and resources offered are not really what we have here in the US, but you still get the gist of what is implied. Highly recommend!
I started reading this a few months after giving birth, so the first half of the book I had already gone through. But it was great validation that I did tackle some things that were advised.
The second half is really what I appreciated. Sarah Ockwell-Smith really does outline as many situations and scenarios that a mother/family can go through when welcoming in another child. I really enjoyed the friendly tips, especially the section on Mom Guilt and the importance of self-care. The only issue I had with this book is that it is very UK-centric. Some terminology used and resources offered are not really what we have here in the US, but you still get the gist of what is implied. Highly recommend!
April 29, 2021
Useful, practical, easy-to-read, calming and down-to-earth book. The book, which after finishing it, I wanted to come back to and review the notes/ideas again to remember them.
"A sibling is life's greatest gift and to give that to your firstborn child is a privilege - however rocky the road may initially be."
"Second babies bring with them opportunity, promises of the future and a chance to create something magical - a lasting relationship for your firstborn."
"The experience of parenting more than 1 child could make a fantastic addition to a CV: you become a pro at tackling crowd control, you develop military-grade organisational skills and have the ability to keep people happy, when they have different wants and needs - all of which would be welcome in any workplace."
"A sibling is life's greatest gift and to give that to your firstborn child is a privilege - however rocky the road may initially be."
"Second babies bring with them opportunity, promises of the future and a chance to create something magical - a lasting relationship for your firstborn."
"The experience of parenting more than 1 child could make a fantastic addition to a CV: you become a pro at tackling crowd control, you develop military-grade organisational skills and have the ability to keep people happy, when they have different wants and needs - all of which would be welcome in any workplace."
February 8, 2022
A lot of useful tips and reassuring reminders. However, I wasn't a big fan of the suggestion that the best way to solve childcare for your firstborn when the second baby arrives is to give birth at home. There was a fair amount of questionable pseudoscience in this book.
July 3, 2023
Overall decent. Really liked some of the advice and having my feelings validated however, for sure pushing for a certain birthing style, doctor, delivery etc. Also felt a bit judgemental toward if you choose to not go this route and left much around delivery very one sided.
March 11, 2021
Autorė labai teisingai pastebėjo, jog visas dėmesys nukreiptas į pirmakartes mamas: gydytojų patarimai, paskaitos, kursai, video įrašai ir netgi knygos. Į besilaukiančias antrą kartą, paprastai numojama ranka: „ai, juk tu jau viską žinai”.
Taip, dauguma dalykų jau nebe naujiena, tačiau tapimas antrąkart tėvais, be abejo, yra nauja patirtis. Dažnai labai džiaugsminga, laukiama, o kartais ir bauginanti, bei atnešanti nežinomybę ir kaltės jausmą. Gera žinia yra ta, jog visa tai yra normalu ir daugybė tėvų susiduria su panašiais jausmais.
Sarah Ockwell-Smith yra keturių vaikų mama, prieraišiosios tėvystės šalininkė ir rašydama knygą ji rėmėsi tiek savo, kaip mamos patirtimi, tiek kaip psichologės, gimdyvės padėjėjos ir švelnios tėvystės specialistės praktika. Ji taip pat yra parašiusi puikią knygą tėvams „Ramaus miego knyga”.
Pastebėjau, kad knyga „Antrasis kūdikis” labai lengvai skaitoma, realistiška, neperkrauta teorija ir apžvelgia daugybę aspektų tiek planuojant antrą vaiką, tiek jau jo susilaukus. Nuo sprendimo, ar turėti antrą vaiką, geriausio amžiaus skirtumo tarp vaikų, vaisingumo ir pastojimo, pirmagimio paruošimo brolio/sesės atsiradimui, gimdymo planavimo, vaikų maitinimo, rūpinimosii savimi, įvairių praktinių patarimų, iki informacijos, koks tas iš tikrųjų gyvenimas su dviem vaikais.
Taip pat vienas skyrelis paskirtas brolių/seserų santykiams ir konkurencijai tarp jų. O jei ši tema jums aktuali ir norėtumete paskaityti daugiau, labai rekomenduoju puikią knygą: L. Markham „Ramūs tėvai, geri brolių ir seserų santykiai”. Beje, autorė dažnai mini gimdymą namuose – Lietuvoje kol kas tokios galimybės nėra, bet Didžiojoje Britanijoje tai legalu ir dalis moterų renkasi šią galimybę. Taip pat, man labai patiko autorės pasidalintos kitų mamų patirtys, kurios tik įrodo, kokios skirtingos mes esame ir kaip svarbu pasirinkti tai, kas geriausiai tinka mūsų šeimai.
„Manau, kad daugiau nei vieno vaiko auginimo patirtis tėvams gerokai prideda pliusų CV: jie tampa profesionalais, gebančiais valdyti minią, nes išvysto karinės organų įgūdžius ir geba suteikti žmonėms laimę, kai šie turi skirtingų norų ir poreikių”.
Knygų apžvalgos: www.profesionalimama.wordpress.com
Taip, dauguma dalykų jau nebe naujiena, tačiau tapimas antrąkart tėvais, be abejo, yra nauja patirtis. Dažnai labai džiaugsminga, laukiama, o kartais ir bauginanti, bei atnešanti nežinomybę ir kaltės jausmą. Gera žinia yra ta, jog visa tai yra normalu ir daugybė tėvų susiduria su panašiais jausmais.
Sarah Ockwell-Smith yra keturių vaikų mama, prieraišiosios tėvystės šalininkė ir rašydama knygą ji rėmėsi tiek savo, kaip mamos patirtimi, tiek kaip psichologės, gimdyvės padėjėjos ir švelnios tėvystės specialistės praktika. Ji taip pat yra parašiusi puikią knygą tėvams „Ramaus miego knyga”.
Pastebėjau, kad knyga „Antrasis kūdikis” labai lengvai skaitoma, realistiška, neperkrauta teorija ir apžvelgia daugybę aspektų tiek planuojant antrą vaiką, tiek jau jo susilaukus. Nuo sprendimo, ar turėti antrą vaiką, geriausio amžiaus skirtumo tarp vaikų, vaisingumo ir pastojimo, pirmagimio paruošimo brolio/sesės atsiradimui, gimdymo planavimo, vaikų maitinimo, rūpinimosii savimi, įvairių praktinių patarimų, iki informacijos, koks tas iš tikrųjų gyvenimas su dviem vaikais.
Taip pat vienas skyrelis paskirtas brolių/seserų santykiams ir konkurencijai tarp jų. O jei ši tema jums aktuali ir norėtumete paskaityti daugiau, labai rekomenduoju puikią knygą: L. Markham „Ramūs tėvai, geri brolių ir seserų santykiai”. Beje, autorė dažnai mini gimdymą namuose – Lietuvoje kol kas tokios galimybės nėra, bet Didžiojoje Britanijoje tai legalu ir dalis moterų renkasi šią galimybę. Taip pat, man labai patiko autorės pasidalintos kitų mamų patirtys, kurios tik įrodo, kokios skirtingos mes esame ir kaip svarbu pasirinkti tai, kas geriausiai tinka mūsų šeimai.
„Manau, kad daugiau nei vieno vaiko auginimo patirtis tėvams gerokai prideda pliusų CV: jie tampa profesionalais, gebančiais valdyti minią, nes išvysto karinės organų įgūdžius ir geba suteikti žmonėms laimę, kai šie turi skirtingų norų ir poreikių”.
Knygų apžvalgos: www.profesionalimama.wordpress.com
April 14, 2022
Brolis ar sesuo pirmagimiui yra geriausia dovana ir didelis džiaugsmas, kad ir kokie sunkumai laukia iš pradžių. O jų tikrai bus..
Knygose, žurnaluose, internete - visur straipsniai apie gimdymą, vaiko priežiūrą, auginimą ir ugdymą. Tačiau laukiantis antro, kyla visai kitokie klausimai, kurie lygiai taip pat neduoda ramybės vos pastojus.
Šios knygos pradžioje kalbama apie apsisprendimą turėti antrą kūdikį ir kokį amžiaus skirtumą rekomenduoja mokslininkai. Pateikti mažo ir didesnio amžiaus skirtumo privalumai, bei vaisingumo iššūkiai.
Toliau kalbama apie gimdymą po sunkių patirtų traumų bei neišsipildžiusiusius lūkesčius, ko galima tikėtis šįkart. Ypač aktualu, kaip paruošti pirmagimį ilgesniam atsiskyrimui ir pirmam susitikimui, svečių priėmimui.
Gimus kūdikiui, didžiąją dalį moterų aplanko kaltės jausmas. Šis skyrius raminantis, paaiškinantis, kad yra begalė priežasčių jaustis kaltai, tačiau visiškai bereikalingai.
Be emocinės tėvų ir vaikų būklės aptarimo, gausu ir praktinių pavyzdžių. Trumpi patarimai, kaip išsiruošti į lauką, guldyti miego du vaikus, kaip užmegzti ryšį su abiem vaikais bei kovoti su pirmagimio pykčiu ir kitomis emocijomis. Ypatingai įsiminė autorės frazė - išmeskime iš galvos žodį "pavydas" ir keiskime jį į "sielvartas". Gal tuomet į pirmagimio netinkamą elgesį žiūrėsime atlaidžiau ir su užuojauta.
Nors knyga kartais ir gąsdina, tačiau joje atradau daug ramybės. Ir ji man priminė ypač svarbią taisyklę, kuri turi galioti visada, nepriklausomai nuo to, kiek vaikų auginame - svarbu nepamiršti rūpintis savimi. Tik tinkamai pailsėjusi, skirdama laiko sau ir vyrui, mama gali rūpintis vaikais. O jiems reikia ne supermamos, jiems reikia mylinčios ir kantrios mamos.
Knygose, žurnaluose, internete - visur straipsniai apie gimdymą, vaiko priežiūrą, auginimą ir ugdymą. Tačiau laukiantis antro, kyla visai kitokie klausimai, kurie lygiai taip pat neduoda ramybės vos pastojus.
Šios knygos pradžioje kalbama apie apsisprendimą turėti antrą kūdikį ir kokį amžiaus skirtumą rekomenduoja mokslininkai. Pateikti mažo ir didesnio amžiaus skirtumo privalumai, bei vaisingumo iššūkiai.
Toliau kalbama apie gimdymą po sunkių patirtų traumų bei neišsipildžiusiusius lūkesčius, ko galima tikėtis šįkart. Ypač aktualu, kaip paruošti pirmagimį ilgesniam atsiskyrimui ir pirmam susitikimui, svečių priėmimui.
Gimus kūdikiui, didžiąją dalį moterų aplanko kaltės jausmas. Šis skyrius raminantis, paaiškinantis, kad yra begalė priežasčių jaustis kaltai, tačiau visiškai bereikalingai.
Be emocinės tėvų ir vaikų būklės aptarimo, gausu ir praktinių pavyzdžių. Trumpi patarimai, kaip išsiruošti į lauką, guldyti miego du vaikus, kaip užmegzti ryšį su abiem vaikais bei kovoti su pirmagimio pykčiu ir kitomis emocijomis. Ypatingai įsiminė autorės frazė - išmeskime iš galvos žodį "pavydas" ir keiskime jį į "sielvartas". Gal tuomet į pirmagimio netinkamą elgesį žiūrėsime atlaidžiau ir su užuojauta.
Nors knyga kartais ir gąsdina, tačiau joje atradau daug ramybės. Ir ji man priminė ypač svarbią taisyklę, kuri turi galioti visada, nepriklausomai nuo to, kiek vaikų auginame - svarbu nepamiršti rūpintis savimi. Tik tinkamai pailsėjusi, skirdama laiko sau ir vyrui, mama gali rūpintis vaikais. O jiems reikia ne supermamos, jiems reikia mylinčios ir kantrios mamos.
July 30, 2024
An excellent resource. Started reading it ages ago to help me think through possible timing of a little sibling. Put it down until I was pregnant again. Some parts were not applicable to our situation, but the book is laid out such that it’s very easy to skip those parts and get to what matters to you. I have also dog-eared many sections for future reference once baby brother arrives.
I was particularly surprised to find a story from a mom with a toddler daughter who gave birth to a son with heart defects. This hits close to home, and it was really enlightening to read her story and consider some things I hadn’t thought about yet in terms of preparing big sister and her caregivers during those early days when brother will be in the NICU.
I was particularly surprised to find a story from a mom with a toddler daughter who gave birth to a son with heart defects. This hits close to home, and it was really enlightening to read her story and consider some things I hadn’t thought about yet in terms of preparing big sister and her caregivers during those early days when brother will be in the NICU.
March 28, 2023
This is a must-read if you are anxious about having a second child. While I am writing this review I am 17 weeks pregnant with a very much wanted baby and yet have been feeling especially anxious about introducing a new child into our family. This book felt like a conversation with a friend, answering so many of my most pressing questions and reassuring me that I am not alone in my anxiety. I am so glad I read this book and fully intend to reread chapters from it during challenging times as a mom to two. Thank you for this book, Sarah Ockwell-Smith!
October 2, 2022
I really enjoyed this book. It touched on so many topics from baby gear, planning, emotions, preparing your first born, etc. I also appreciated the various stories told from different moms to help give ideas on what’s best for our family.
February 22, 2023
I haven't been as drawn to parenting/pregnancy books this time around (have been listening to a ton of the Birth Hour podcast instead--so good!), but this book was lovely. Just some gentle, helpful tips for making the transition from one to two kiddos in a way that felt very validating. Recommend for second time mamas!
March 29, 2023
One of those books you can read and take away only what you need/what resonates with you. Loved a lot of the topics discussed especially pregnancy/labor & birth the second time around. Enjoyed that it had advice/thoughts from other moms.
December 2, 2022
Wow wow, adult feelings validated.. check!
May 16, 2025
Book was so good !! Got me so emotional. Good tips on not only going from 1 to 2 but more. Such a good read
July 16, 2021
Lovely book that finally offers insights into a lot question and thoughts that have been going through my mind now that I'm expecting baby number two. A very pleasant listen, and very reassuring!
July 26, 2019
I have found this such a useful book. It sets out the guidance in clear chapters, which I either skim-read or read thoroughly depending on relevance.
It’s been a great way to prepare for our next arrival and ensure we feel confident in settling our daughter in a positive and calm way. It’s helped us discuss things that we may not have considered; moving her into her new bedroom by the time I’m 6 months pregnant, how bedtimes will work, how to introduce them to each other and how to deal with ‘jealousy’, which Sarah Ockwell-Smith instead refers to as ‘grieving the loss of their place as the baby in their family.’ This made me feel so emotional about what our daughter could go through and had really helped me to consider how best to support her.
It’s been a great way to prepare for our next arrival and ensure we feel confident in settling our daughter in a positive and calm way. It’s helped us discuss things that we may not have considered; moving her into her new bedroom by the time I’m 6 months pregnant, how bedtimes will work, how to introduce them to each other and how to deal with ‘jealousy’, which Sarah Ockwell-Smith instead refers to as ‘grieving the loss of their place as the baby in their family.’ This made me feel so emotional about what our daughter could go through and had really helped me to consider how best to support her.
October 24, 2021
Rarely have I been so disappointed by a nonfiction book as I am with this one. What should be an empowering read is a lacklustre synthesis of simple common sense and oftentimes questionable advice. I felt the book was geared more towards home birth, small age gaps, stay at home parents, who can afford doalas. Meanwhile back in reality….
One piece of advice I fundamentally disagree with is about buying a load of presents for your first born and asking visitors to dole them out to them (or ask them to bring a gift so they don’t feel left out). On what planet is that socially acceptable?
I won’t be reading anything else but Sarah Ockwell-Smith. I’ll opt for things written by midwives in future.
One piece of advice I fundamentally disagree with is about buying a load of presents for your first born and asking visitors to dole them out to them (or ask them to bring a gift so they don’t feel left out). On what planet is that socially acceptable?
I won’t be reading anything else but Sarah Ockwell-Smith. I’ll opt for things written by midwives in future.
January 8, 2021
I am so happy I decided to pick this one up. With all the info on first pregnancies I was really relieved to see the specific love for woman who are emotional about their second pregnancies. I’m in my third trimester and am having trouble finding excitement for our second baby because of all the anxiety I have about splitting my time with my first born. This book made me feel so much better. Highly recommend.
April 29, 2021
So incredibly helpful. Preparing child one for # 2, dealing with logistical issues that come up before & after new baby arrives, supporting the older child through resentment/jealousy and behavior problems... So much practical advice doused in realistic expectations of both parents and children in a difficult transition. Can't wait to reread certain chapters right before baby #2 shows up and again and again after.
August 22, 2020
Puiki knyga, detaliai nagrinėjanti įvairius klausimus, susijusius su antruoju kūdikiu - sprendimą susilaukti, pasiruošimą nėštumo metu, gimdymą, gyvenimą su dviem vaikais, mamos jausmus. Rekomenduoju paskaityti, jei galvojate apie antrąjį vaiką ar turite du vaikus. Arba tiesiog domina tema. Aš asmeniškai radau joje daug naudingos ir vertingos informacijos.
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February 21, 2023The beginning of the book asks if you're ready for a second child... Been there, done that! Therefore, I skipped the first few chapters (i.e., I won't be giving any star rating).
I wanted to list several takeaways from the book (mostly for myself):
1. Put a child to bed at 8 pm - not before.
2. Use a red light in their bedroom - red doesn't interfere with sleep.
3. Don't act as a judge or referee between siblings - let them resolve their own conflicts (unless it gets physical/violent, then be a mediator).
4. Instead of saying your firstborn is jealous, use the word "grieving" instead.
5. Aim to split bedtime 50/50 with your partner - my husband has been exclusively putting our firstborn to bed since our second was born three months ago... After reading this particular tip, I put our firstborn to bed tonight.
A friend recommended this book to me as I voiced some frustration and exasperation with our firstborn who's been in major meltdown mode since our second child was born. There's a lot of emphasis on "mom guilt" throughout the book, which I haven't experienced-ish, so that was not as helpful.
I wanted to list several takeaways from the book (mostly for myself):
1. Put a child to bed at 8 pm - not before.
2. Use a red light in their bedroom - red doesn't interfere with sleep.
3. Don't act as a judge or referee between siblings - let them resolve their own conflicts (unless it gets physical/violent, then be a mediator).
4. Instead of saying your firstborn is jealous, use the word "grieving" instead.
5. Aim to split bedtime 50/50 with your partner - my husband has been exclusively putting our firstborn to bed since our second was born three months ago... After reading this particular tip, I put our firstborn to bed tonight.
A friend recommended this book to me as I voiced some frustration and exasperation with our firstborn who's been in major meltdown mode since our second child was born. There's a lot of emphasis on "mom guilt" throughout the book, which I haven't experienced-ish, so that was not as helpful.
April 21, 2020
🐭 Yra keletas knygų, kurias rekomenduoju ne tik perskaityti iki gimstant vaikui, bet ir turėti šalia, kai ištinka tam tikros su vaikų auginimu susijusios problemos. Tokios knygos yra “Nepakeičiamas kaip motinos meilė” (žindymo vadovėlis), “Ramaus miego knyga” ir manau dar ir šita - “Antrasis kūdikis”. Perskaičiau, daug ką įsiminiau, bet kadangi antras vaikas dar tik kažkur mintyse, tai tikiu, kad jam gimus ir atsiradus realioms situacijoms bus tikrai naudinga dar kartą perversti šią knygą. Iš tikrųjų kai laukiesi pirmą kartą, gali net pasimesti nuo literatūros, paskaitų ir kursų pirmakartėms mamoms, o štai apie antrą (ar tolimesnius) nėštumus, gimdymus, pirmiuosiu mėnesius gimus vaikui informacijos yra labai labai skurdžiai. Dažniausiai rašoma apie pirmagimio ir antragimio santykį, tačiau apie mamos emocijas, apie išgyvenimą pasikeitus nusistovėjusiam ritmui informacijos labai mažai. Gal dėl to ši knyga man pasirodė tikrai naudinga. Ir nors jaučiau, kad kartais gylio trūksta, tačiau puikiai suprantu, kad negalėjo autorė išsiplėsti ir smulkiau išdėstyti visas aprašytas (ir neaprašytas) situacijas.
January 10, 2023
I definitely appreciate the practical, uncomplicated advice provided in this book; there were many tips and suggestions I never would have thought of, e.g., ensuring the newborn is in a crib/cradle rather than holding them the first time your elder child meets them so they don’t have the image of “Your parents are back, and here’s the new baby we replaced you with!” immediately emblazoned in their mind. She addresses a lot of tender spots in second-time moms’ minds (guilt, worries about sibling conflict, sex disappointment, etc.), which I also appreciate, but I’d say the book may be a bit alienating for any non-white, non-middle class folx, as it is very much centered in that perspective. Of course, she is largely speaking from personal experience, but I still chuckled a little at times when she talked about feeling guilty about things like not filling in a baby book for her second (which I never came close to with my first, and really had no desire for). Anyway, it was worth reading, but probably not a book I’d recommend universally.
January 2, 2025
The Second Baby Book, is a practical and insightful guide for navigating the transition from one child to two. I gave it 4 stars because it offers so much valuable advice, and I plan to put most of the principles into practice when introducing my firstborn to her new sibling.
The book covers everything from managing pregnancy with a toddler, preparing your firstborn for the arrival of the baby, and handling the early days of juggling two children. Ockwell-Smith’s tone is reassuring and empathetic, making the advice feel realistic and achievable rather than overwhelming.
What I appreciated most was the focus on understanding the emotional needs of the firstborn during this significant change. The strategies for fostering a positive bond between siblings and maintaining harmony in the household were particularly helpful. It’s clear that Ockwell-Smith understands the challenges parents face in this transition, and her guidance feels grounded in both expertise and experience.
While there were a few sections I skimmed through, overall, this book is a fantastic resource for parents expecting their second child. It’s given me a clearer sense of how to prepare my family for this exciting new chapter, and I’d recommend it to anyone in the same position.
The book covers everything from managing pregnancy with a toddler, preparing your firstborn for the arrival of the baby, and handling the early days of juggling two children. Ockwell-Smith’s tone is reassuring and empathetic, making the advice feel realistic and achievable rather than overwhelming.
What I appreciated most was the focus on understanding the emotional needs of the firstborn during this significant change. The strategies for fostering a positive bond between siblings and maintaining harmony in the household were particularly helpful. It’s clear that Ockwell-Smith understands the challenges parents face in this transition, and her guidance feels grounded in both expertise and experience.
While there were a few sections I skimmed through, overall, this book is a fantastic resource for parents expecting their second child. It’s given me a clearer sense of how to prepare my family for this exciting new chapter, and I’d recommend it to anyone in the same position.
September 10, 2025
I read this book as my first “getting prepped for whenever baby#2 arrives” and honestly this would be a great book if you were someone who has almost never read quality parenting books before. If this was the first book I ever read I’d give it higher reviews. A lot of it was just very general knowledge that I’m very fortunate to have had and know the information already.
Another reason this book just wasn’t right for me was because this book is definitely geared towards “2 under 2” or both baby’s in diapers when your second comes. As in going through the struggle of having two babies practically back to back and not knowing how to manage especially beds the oldest doesn’t understand. We’re wanting a roughly 4 year age gap so most of this info didn’t pertain to me. But I’m not someone who doesn’t finish a book. Again it was good general knowledge and if you’re having small age gaps between children it’s worth the read if you haven’t read other parenting books prior.
Another reason this book just wasn’t right for me was because this book is definitely geared towards “2 under 2” or both baby’s in diapers when your second comes. As in going through the struggle of having two babies practically back to back and not knowing how to manage especially beds the oldest doesn’t understand. We’re wanting a roughly 4 year age gap so most of this info didn’t pertain to me. But I’m not someone who doesn’t finish a book. Again it was good general knowledge and if you’re having small age gaps between children it’s worth the read if you haven’t read other parenting books prior.
January 11, 2023
Lots of thought-provoking content. Plenty of reassurance around first child guilt. And I particularly enjoyed the exploration of how baby 1 might cope with becoming a sibling; I intend to be more patient and considerate of their reactions thanks to the advice in the book. Some sections were not relevant to our circumstances, but you are encouraged to skip over these by Ockwell-Smith, which is a great way of personalising what you take from the book to your own needs, rather than feeling like the book had sections that didn't interest you. I often read reviews where the reader complains about sections not being relevant to them, making the book less enjoyable or too detailed, but one size does not fit all, and Ockwell-Smith prepares you for this from the outset. I have purchased another of her books already and can't wait to start it.
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