Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions

by Lysa TerKeurst

Do you ever feel like your emotions are working against you? Though we may find ourselves stuffing down emotions, exploding with emotions, or reacting somewhere in between, Lysa TerKeurst assures us it’s possible to make our emotions work for us. Lysa admits that she, like most women, has had experiences where others bump into her happy and she comes emotionally unglued. But the good news is, God gave us emotions to experience life, not destroy it. With gut-honest personal examples and biblical teaching, Lysa shows us how to use our emotions for good. Unglued will equip you

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Self Help, Christian Living, Faith, Spirituality, Christian Non Fiction

MP3 CD

First published January 1, 2012

About the author

Lysa TerKeurst is President and Chief Visionary Officer of Proverbs 31 Ministries. She is also an 8x New York Times’ bestselling author of I Want to Trust You, but I Don't, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, Uninvited and more. Her devotional Embraced won the ECPA book of the year for 2019. Lysa was also recently awarded the Champions of Faith Author Award and has appeared on the Today Show many times as one of the leading voices in the Christian community.

Each year, Lysa is a featured keynote presenter at events all across North America and online, including the Global Leadership Network. She also tours state-to-state regularly with TPR. She has a passion for equipping women to share their stories for God’s glory through Proverbs 31 Ministries’ annual She Speaks Conference and her writer training program called COMPEL Pro. Connect with Lysa on social media @lysaterkeurst or at lysaterkeurst.com.

Reviews

[Cathy (Thoughts on Books) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think Lysa is a 5 out of 5 kind of lady. She communicates well and you feel like your talking to a friend while reading her book. I really appreciated her honesty and could relate on pretty much every point. I think I may also be her emotional twin!

But I couldn't give her book more than a 2 out of 5 because it just felt like it lacked something. I'm not a fan of how-to books and she often said things like, "I need a go-to script" or "I need a response template." And then precedes to share hers. She never mentions sin, or the cross, or repentance. At least not in a straight forward way.

I'll give you one example that bothered me in the book. A fellow mom sends her a nasty email and Lysa's first response is a prayer, "God, the next time I see her, can I slap her?" I totally feel where Lysa is coming from, believe me I've been there, but instead of dealing with her own sin of wanting to slap another woman she gives you a 'how-to' script on writing a nice loving letter in response to the nasty e-mail. Shouldn't she have been on her knees asking God to forgive her of her own sinful attitude and asking for true grace toward this woman?

I've made some really stupid mistakes with my emotions and have regretted it later, but the most important thing I'm learning is that my negative response from my emotions is sin and I need to bring it to God and ask Him to forgive and restore. Things like jealous, hatred, anger, malice, and envy are all sin.

What this book lacked was simply, the gospel. How-to's will work for a season, but then you'll be right back where you started, a sinner in need of God's saving grace.

[Kela · Rating 4 out of 5]

I admit I had no idea what to expect from this book when I picked it up. The djs on the radio station I listen to had been talking about it a lot so when I saw it on the new arrivals shelf at my library I grabbed it. That turned out to be a great decision. Unglued is a really good book and Lysa TerKeurst is a gifted writer. I couldn't wait to sneak in a few minutes of reading here and there throughout the day. Lysa makes you feel like you're having a conversation with your best friend. The idea of "imperfect progress" is something we all could apply to many areas of life. I just finished the book last week, but I've already had several instances of Lysa "talking me down" from unglued moments. : )

[Lain · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book spoke to me in the ways I needed, right when I needed it. Talk about divine intervention! And because I listened to the audio version, I literally got to hear Lysa's voice right in my head.

So many helpful tips, presented in not a holier-than-thou, but in a I'm-right-there-with-you, sort of way. I so admire Lysa TerKeurst's lack of pride that allows her to share her not-so-great moments with us, so we can feel like we're not alone!

If I had one criticism, it would be that the book makes it sound like if we do our part, other people will do their part, too. I had an incident similar to one Lysa mentioned in the book, and responded in the way she suggested (which was EXACTLY the right way to respond, and what God would have me do). In Lysa's case, the other person responded with an open heart and they were able to work things out, at least somewhat. In my case, the other person took the opportunity to attack me again, and I wasn't sure what to do. (I'm still not sure!). If the other person is just downright mean, nasty, or unpleasant, what's the Christian response? Walk away quietly? Draw the boundary? Send them a copy of Lysa's book? ;)

In any case, I am so glad I read this, and I'm looking forward to more of the author's books.

[Lisa Kersey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was wonderful!! I had the privilege of listening to Lysa TerKeurst speak at a conference and when she mentioned this book I immediately came home and checked to see if it was available. We all have those moments when we lose it or need to lose it. We feel our blood pressure spike and we know that any second we will become "Unglued". God made us that way and instead of condemning us, TerKeurst gives us hope, teaching us it's about the "imperfect progress" we make that matters. Reading this book was like going to lunch with a good friend, filled with funny and relatable stories that make you breathe a sigh of relief that you aren't the only one feeling this way or thinking those thoughts! I think this book is a must read for anyone, no matter where you are in your spiritual walk.

[Keiki Hendrix · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why did I choose this book? Because I needed some wisdom about surviving a chaotic life. And, I wasn't disappointed.

In Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions by Lysa Terkeurst, you'll read the authors personal time of coming 'unglued' as well as stories she witnessed. She takes these chaotic times, pulls wisdom from the Bible and offers sound advice on trusting God.

Lysa Terkeurst writes to her reader in a genuine, conversational style. You will connect with her immediately and discover that we are all imperfect. It's very easy to connect with the struggles she mentions, very easy to identify that we all come unglued from time to time.

The personal experiences and events were some of the most enjoyable parts of the book. Stories range from funny to heartbreaking and everything in between.

If you are looking for some sound, biblical advice on dealing with a chaotic time and doing some self examination as a means to manage them, you'll enjoy this book. Use it as your next small group study. It's a great resource for women with hectic lives.

[Melissa (Semi Hiatus Until After the Holidays) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, I think she has a spycam in my house/life! Really appreciated the honest insights about dealing with issues and stress in various destructive ways and how to take those thoughts captive and work towards changing my reaction.

[Jennifer Radtke · Rating 5 out of 5]

My mind is unglued most of the time I think. Reading this book made me feel not so alone in my ungluedness. It also gave me hope that there was a way to glue my mind back together. It also gave me a stockpile of helpers to get me through those unglued moments.
...hope and healing for women struggling to make wise choices in the midst of their raw emotions. She shows how to positively process reactive emotions that come from situations all women face daily.

Lysa has an amazing way of sharing Biblical truths without making you feel ignorant or making your brain hurt from trying to wrap your mind around it. Reading this book felt like sitting on the front porch with a friend and talking about the latest challenges of life.

She touched on the topic of labels and how we label ourselves and how we imagine others label us, takes it's toll on our emotions and our ungluedness. Lysa asked whether we are trying to prove ourselves or improve ourselves in each moment. That was an amazing thought to take through each day. She reminded us to keep the Sabbath, even if it's only a couple of hours. Lysa also tells a little tale about the book cover photo. I thought it reminded me of searching for that missing item in my purse (you'll have to read it to find out what she says).

Trying to determine my reaction type was a challenge. I realized that it depends on who I'm around and what the situation is about. Lysa nailed it on the head about the feeling that comes over you after you react. You realize that you could have handled that so much better. That you didn't allow the light of Christ to shine through you because you let your emotions control you instead of guide you. Even if you stuffed it instead of exploding. Reading this book really pounded into my head that my reactions will show the world my relationship with Christ. What I think is how I'll live.

I would recommend this book to every lady out there, especially moms and wives. This would definitely make for an excellent study for any woman's group. Go grab yourself a copy or get one for that unglued friend of yours.

[christianchicklit · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great Advice For Controlling Emotions...And Not Letting Them Control You
As only Lysa can, she writes in a humorous, genuine style to show you her flaws and her triumphs at being all that God has planned for her to be. Her latest book, Unglued: Making Wise Choices In the Midst of Raw Emotions, provides a few real world anecdotes of times where she’s lost it and how she’s learned to find a more Godly response to those situations. Lysa talks about the four different kinds of unglued reactions:

1. The Exploder Who Shames Herself – These are times when you lose your cool and then feel horrible about your reaction

2. The Exploder Who Blames Others – These are the times when, somehow, it becomes everyone else’s fault that you have reacted the way you did….because they led you to that behavior.

3. The Stuffer Who Builds Barriers – These are times when someone has really hurt you but you keep silent about it and, in turn, react to them differently causing deeper damage to the relationship.

4. The Stuffer Who Collects Retaliation Rocks – These are times when you keep silent when someone has hurt you and you keep stuffing it down…until it explodes into a whole litany of rational and irrational things against the other person(for everything they’ve done in the last 10 years).

By being open and honest about a variety of her own reactions, Lysa speaks to the reader as if she is a good friend confiding with you about the daily struggles of marriage, raising kids and working. But, Lysa gives us practical tips along the way on how she has learned to improve her behavior and “make wise choices in the midst of raw emotions”. There are some great pearls of wisdom in this book that we can all use!

[Hannah Self · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not necessarily a parenting book, but this book changed the way I parent my kids by changing how I speak with them when I am angry.

[Stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

A few good thoughts, but mostly feel good about where you are fluff.

[mia · Rating 1 out of 5]

Living a life holy unto the Lord is lifelong lesson, but I think the author forgets the central message of the gospel that is that while we were still sinners, Christ came and lived a sinless life for us, was sacrificed and raised from the dead, that God would then be able to impute Christ's righteousness on us. Sanctification is not proved by how many times in a day we end up shaming ourselves but by the pure and simple fact that when we are aware of our guilt, we know that we can and do go to the cross. My friend explains sanctification as not being about sinning less, but about loving your neighbor more.

" Forgiveness is mandatory; reconciliation is optional." Contrast this quote from the book with Ephesians 2:13-16, "But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might RECONCILE US BOTH to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility."

When God forgives, reconciliation follows. It may even be said that one doesn't necessarily follow the other because they are in a sense, one and the same. Forgiveness doesn't just mean a clean slate, going from debt to nothing. When God forgives us and when Jesus performed the ultimate act of atonement whereby we are forgiven, our debt was not only paid in full, but paid to overflowing, abundantly! This is because God, in the act of forgiveness, imputes Christ's righteousness on us. So, it follows, that when we forgive, it is not just an act of forgetting how someone sinned against us, but to see that person (if a fellow Christian) as a saint in Christ (just as Paul addressed the Ephesians as saints) and if it is not a fellow Christian then we ought to remember that this person bears the image of God by being made in His likeness.

I would also add that I was disappointed in the way that the author used her personal stories. I have nothing against sharing and teaching from our own personal struggles and lessons, but that should not come at the expense of others in our lives in a setting such as this. Names may not have been shared, but some of the people involved in certain situations would have little difficulty in identifying themselves as the offenders.

I would disagree with many other points in this book but will only touch on one other. I would disagree with the portrayal of Joshua, the Old Testament saint. Looking back at Joshua's life as recorded in the Bible will reveal a much different character than the one suggested in the book. Joshua is not a man of doubt and who falters, but Joshua is always portrayed in the Bible as a man of God and who fearlessly trusted God. The situation that is presented as Joshua being in doubt, I think, would more accurately described as Joshua showing wisdom and discernment and spiritual maturity.

[Rebecca Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Emotions aren't bad"

I've seen this book going around for awhile. It went on sale for a Kindle a few months back & I downloaded it... & forgot I had it.

Until I saw a friend of mine who was reading it, I remembered. She talked about how she would have to take each chapter & digest it... now, I know what she means.

I ended up writing down 5 pages of notes from this book. If it was in book form, I would have been a 'highlight queen' :)

I wasn't even sure what it meant by the word "unglued" ... oh, I know what it meant, but I know it can mean a lot of different things & wasn't sure the direction this book would take.

Well, if you've ever blown up at someone for some small reason - if you've ever held an emotion inside until it ate you up - if you feel like the world is falling apart because you're running late, or someone said something that hurt your feelings... then you know what it is to be unglued.

let me tell you - I'm there daily... I didn't realize how much I needed this book.

each chapter leads you into Scripture & reminds us of God's truth in situations... so not only did I write down all these pages of notes, I was a highlight queen in my Bible, writing down notes.

Good stuff.

I was also hot on Twitter with the hashtag #unglued ... I wanted to make sure I remembered this stuff

Now the key - applying it to life... that's always the hard part, isn't it?
Taking notes is easy

But now, I'm at least going into the next thing that makes me become unglued with a little defense.

Knowing to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5)
Remember what is actually TRUTH & not made up thoughts or ideas (Phil 4:8)
& looking ahead & seeing God working in all things (Col 3:1-2)

In the end, we also see, becoming unglued or situations that can cause unglued reactions aren't a bad thing... God teaches us a lot about ourselves in these things... & gives us an opportunity to point to Him.

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"And to discover through all this seeing - being unglued isn't all bad"

[Christen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good, not great, book about how to respond more effectively when you get triggered into anger or frustration by those around you. There is a helpful section at the end that helps you understand better how you process those triggers. However, in looking at the chart, I have discovered that my responses are all over the map depending on who is giving me the trigger. One particularly helpful point is that when someone irritates you or something doesn't go your way, you can choose to respond with "If this is the worst thing that happens today, it's still a pretty good day." It has been my experience that if you're aware of your responses to stuff, as you get older, you tend to not sweat the small stuff as much. I wondered as I read the book whether another decade of age would smooth out her responses to the same stimuli. All in all, there's not a lot that's new in this book. It is packaged and organized well. But it seems like it's just the same old advice from a new author that's all the rage. h

[Mechelle · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm wondering if I need to be unglued to have appreciated this book. I read halfway through and had to just stop reading. I'm not trying to judge her, but I can't understand an adult who's emotions are that out of control--for insignificant reasons. Yes, I know there are a lot of adults who are the self-proclaimed emotional mess the author claims to be, but professional counseling anyone?

If she gets her act together by the end of the book I don't know, but I pray for her family's and friends' sake she does. Just reading about her emotional hot messiness almost made me come unglued.

[Angela Juline · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have never read a self-help Christian book. I was drawn in by the dedication:
What happens in between the smiling snapshots of life isn't pretty. I'm willing to admit that. And I love my friends who are brave enough to admit the messy stuff as well.

Once I realized it was a Christian life book, it was too late for me to stop. I have this weird compulsion to finish any book I start. Damn! So, here it goes...I'll read it with an open mind.

[Elise · Rating 2 out of 5]

Were there some useful tidbits in this book? Sure. Did they get totally and completely lost in the weeds of misapplied scriptures, over the top story telling, and dramatics? ABSOLUTELY.

There were so many times when she was so close to hitting on a Biblical precept but not giving it the solid foundation of tying it back to scripture with a reference and explanation/application of said reference. Thus, it loses the traction it needs and could have.

I think that's my biggest struggle with books like this. Everyone wants to hear (or tell) a feel good story that sounds spiritual, but it's hard to find people who want to put in the work of digging deep into God's words, HIS stories and applying those to our lives/situations.

Also, in the epilogue...her commentary on why God banished Adam and Eve from the garden...absolutely not. They were banished because their SIN separated them from God. It was NOT about His abundant love for them.

Her misuse of scripture is irresponsible at best and so dangerous.

Also, can we just address the fact that women AND men, alike, can come "unglued?" Losing control isn't something specific to women. It may look different, but either gender has been known to struggle with this. Why does she write like this is a struggle unique to women??

If you choose to read this book, I beg of you to read with a very careful, guarded, discerning mind...or maybe, just don't read it at all.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some parts had too much story, or too much “psychology” tendencies for my tastes, but still I always find something of encouragement when reading anything Lysa writes whether from her books, blog posts, or facebook notes and Unglued was no exception. My favorite chapter was on how to deal with those unglued moments of jealousy, which for me can rise up at the most unexpected times when I'm unprepared for them and leave me, as she mentions, feeling empty. Her tips for handling those jealous emotions were helpful, but it was the story of a friend who chose to live her life fully with her "own load" that God had given, instead of living in comparisons, that really challenged me and blessed me greatly.

I was hoping and expecting something different and more able to help me with my own emotional battles, or at least some encouragement, and I did at times, but in the end it was a matter of not suiting my own personal needs that gave me reason for a slightly lower rating. I didn't feel as helped or guided as I was looking for and in the end many of the tools Lysa gives were steps I've already been taking for years now (so I guess that makes me feel a little better)...I was looking for something to take me a little further though, really. Some reason for that may be that many of her story examples were as a wife and mom (which really I don't mind!), and as a single young woman I didn't feel like she was writing to a broad enough audience. But I look forward to reading more of Lysa Terkhurst's books on other topics in the future as like I said, I always find a few nuggets of encouragement from her writings.

[Monica Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’re looking for a devotional for your book club or just thinking of making a New Year’s resolution about cooling your hot head, check out Lysa TerKeurst’s “Unglued: Making Wise Choice in the Midst of Raw Emotions.”

I appreciate TerKeurst for her no-nonsense, authentic approach to just about anything (her last book, “Made to Crave” was about eating and overeating). She’s real and flawed, just like me. She opens “Unglued” with a personal story about going berserk on her kids when she finds wet towels on her bathroom floor. Who hasn’t screamed at a loved on about an unimportant frustration? Not you? OK, well bravo, you can take a pass on TerKeurst’s book. The rest of us can benefit.

The other quality I appreciate about TerKeurst is her ability to do laser surgery on a single Bible verse. She does this in Chapter 2 with Joshua 5:13. She’s a rare minister who can get freaked-out middle-age women to relate with an Old Testament prophet waging war on Jericho.

If you take up “Unglued” as part of a Bible study group, the accompanying Participant’s Guide and Study Guide with DVD are worth the extra cash. The DVD, in particular, is awesome. It’s filmed in Italy, and TerKeurst uses tourist attractions to make her devotional points. It’s quite clever, and it’s entirely new content to what you find in the book. Our group felt like we really got our money’s worth.

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I could give this 6 stars! I loved this book. Not because Lysa gave me all the answers...but she had places to look for those answers...and they were there!

I loved her crazy life. She's real. She isn't perfect! Who among us is? She tackled some tough issues...but she talks about 'imperfect progress'! What a great term! Isn't all progress imperfect? But the fact that we are trying...and seeing some kind of progress (while it may be imperfect for the fact that we all back-slide occasionally) is good!

I will need to buy this book. I will need to re-read it so I don't forget where to look. I loved the bible verses she used. If you struggle with lashing out, or not knowing what to say, or always second guessing what you did say....this book addresses those issues and more.

Read it. Buy it. Highlight it. Live it.


Note: In my own life, this book has GREATLY helped me tone down the yelling time with my children...I really can't think of a time that I've just blown at them since I started reading this book. Yes! Even the first chapter helped me realize that I've been given great power by God...all I have to do is choose to keep that power instead of giving it to someone else!

[Shellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Something funky happens when you try to get it all together in your own strength. For me, it doesn't last long before a daily crisis sneaks up on me and leaves me feeling unglued. Lysa's book is perfect for a gal like me, despite the fact that I was turned off by the cover and my own denial. I soon found that like my friend Angie, whose stellar recommendation of this book finally led me to pick it up, I had "more pages dog-eared than not" (not literally, poor book--I would never). Lysa's words were funny, raw, extremely relatable, and biblically applicable to my daily struggles. I even felt convicted to call a friend toward whom I was nursing hurt feelings and patch things up. I am putting Lysa up there with Beth Moore when it comes to counseling women with scripture transformed into catchy memory devices--like getting rid of my "attitude" by remembering "gratitude." Another really good one to remember from Lysa: "feelings are indicators, not dictators." Lysa's scriptural reference at the end really sums up what she's trying to teach us to do: "Sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers his righteousness on you." Hosea 10:12

[IrenesBookReviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author agrees with me, every woman has those moments where she is frustrated with everything that is happening around her! You want to change your attitude or reaction but you feel like it just doesn’t get any better. This book is about ways to accept that there will be no over night change and that we are all a work in progress.

The author calls this progress imperfect progress because we are moving forward in changing ourselves but there is no automatic change. We need to remember that we are seeking some kind of progress towards an attitude change not an instant change.

The best message from this book is that God made you. He does not give up on you and will always love you, even if you do still have a wrong attitude and react badly on certain days. Just keep improving and you will continue to grow spiritually.

I gave this book 4/5 stars because I liked the concept of the book but felt it fell a little flat when presenting what the author considered solutions to our frustrating moments.

I would like to thank NetGalley and the publisher for the copy of this book I enjoyed reading. I gave an honest review based on my opinion of what I read.

[Elizabeth Bollinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I could have read this book 20+ years ago! I have always struggled with being real/honest in my emotions -vs- being sensitive and in control. Lysa TerKeurst does a fantastic job of peeling away the layers of emotion that are behind my coming "unglued" and getting me to what my real goal should be: representing Jesus to this world, to every person I meet every moment of every day. I am not here to prove I am smarter or more powerful or more in the right than the next person -- issues, I learned through this book, that have a lot to do with my coming unglued. I am here to glorify God. This is a quick read (although I am rereading and studying it like a textbook)and the author is interesting, fun and real. I highly recommend this book.

[Meagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot tell you how much this book, and the author's honesty, has changed my thoughts about who I am. Thank you!! I can't stop crying as I read because I see, I'm not "crazy." I'm not "the only woman in the world who acts this way." Accusations thrown my way on a daily basis....

[Susan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I generally think of Christian books in two categories: primarily theological and primarily practical. Both categories should include elements of the other--but there is a difference between J.I. Packer's Knowing God and Tim Keller's Every Good Endeavor.

This book definitely falls in the practical category, but I think it erred on the side of trying to be so practical that it missed the mark theologically.

I don't know much about Lisa TerKeurst. This is the first of her books that I've read, and I don't follow her blog or social media pages. So I understand that I may not be seeing the whole picture of her ministry and her heart. I'm not intending to criticize a person who clearly has a heart for women and who wants to speak truth into lives.

But I found this book to be heavy on self-help without a whole lot of Scriptural exegesis. The author provides lots of "scripts" for how to respond in various emotional situations. She usually quotes a verse or two to use as a springboard, but her advice doesn't flow out of that Scripture. Instead, she offers lists of questions you might ask yourself to process your emotions, "procedural manuals" to turn yourself around, and even a personality test of sorts to help you determine your reaction type.

If there's one thing that bothers me the most about this book, it's that she sometimes misapplies Scripture in order to make her point. Here's one example. In chapter 7, the author provides a 3-step procedure for calming yourself and not freaking out when things go wrong. Step #1 is "Remember who you are." Terkeurst quotes II Chronicles 20:3-4: "Alarmed, Jehoshaphat resolved to inquire of the Lord and he proclaimed a fast for all Judah. The people of Judah came together to seek help from the Lord...." The point of this passage is that Jehoshaphat declared a national day of prayer for Judah. He resolved to seek the Lord's face and ask for help. So--maybe that's what we should do when we are facing situations that cause alarm, too. Right?

But that's not the takeaway for Terkeurst. Instead, she says: "Alarmed, Jehoshaphat resolved. The king had resolved to inquire of the Lord. This is how I want to be. When I feel alarmed, I want simultaneously to be resolved. Alarmed, Lysa resolved. And here's what I want to be resolved to do--to remember who I am."

Hold on. You're going to resolve to remember who you are? Not to inquire of the Lord?

She goes on, "King Jehoshaphat was resolved. He predetermined to remember who he was. And it prevented him from coming unglued." Huh? I thought he resolved to inquire of the Lord?

"I need to do the very same thing. I'm not an unglued woman who is a slave to her circumstances, her hormones, or to other people's attitudes...I am a child of God, holy and dearly loved, whom God has set apart for a mighty plan. And there ain't nothing in this world worth trading all that for. Indeed, I must remember who I am."

Here's the thing. You can't pick words out of verses and use them to make points the passage doesn't make. Could it be helpful to remember my identity as a child of God when I am about to make a wrong choice to be sinfully angry? Yes. But is that the point of this verse? No.

I also agree with another reviewer who said that Terkeurst's book is missing the gospel. And I don't just mean that she doesn't share the plan of salvation. Clearly, this practical book is written for believers. The problem as I see it is that the gospel doesn't inform her advice. We don't hear much in this book about running to Christ, being found in Him, or resting in the righteousness of Christ. Instead, we hear advice like, "The first step in dealing with jealous thoughts is to focus on our own responsibilities and actions. For in this focus we find reasons to celebrate what we have been given and what we are doing right." Again, huh?

I'm sure this book is just one small sliver of Lysa Terkeurst's body of teaching. I'm not trying to judge her character or worth as a teacher.

However, I thought the book was lacking in the kind of Scriptural substance that really gives us as Christians the strength to make Biblical choices.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though this book is only the second book I have read by this author, she is fast becoming one of my favorite Christian/Religious authors. I love her demeanor. She isn't overly preachy or condemning, and she isn't out to shame the sinner. She fully acknowledges her place among the sinners and I find that endearing. She has a passion for striving and enduring. I like the way she tries to share that in her books. So 4 stars.

[Sally Loftis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you ever lost control of your emotions over the tiniest thing? Maybe it's losing that extra 5 minutes of quiet that you so desperately needed. Or maybe a child breaks your sunglasses, and you completely explode on him or her. Maybe a dish burns during a holiday family dinner, and you just can't control the streaming tears on your face. Coming unglued is never a pretty sight, and we have all had experiences where a small thing sets off the waiting volcano of emotions in our hearts.

In her latest book Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions, Christian author and leader Lysa Terkeurst addresses these situations for a female audience. As a mom, wife, business woman and perfectionist, she is able to confront many facets of the female physique, including our emotions. The idea for this book came when a blog post about emotions. The response was so overwhelming that Terkeurst continued to explore the topic and ask for feedback from her readers.

Beyond serving as the President of Proverbs 31 Ministries, Terkeurst lives in Charlotte, NC, and her husband owns the Chick-Fil-A by the Arboretum, near our old house. Therefore, I was intrigued to read a book by a "local." And I started Unglued right after we moved from Charlotte to Crossnore, so the timing felt right. Terkeurst uses a term throughout the book that has just resonated with me - imperfect progress. The theme of Unglued is the desire to make progress and accept our imperfections along the way. So often we let our emotions dictate our days and relationships rather than letting emotions act as their created purpose - indicators of the heart.

Several chapters of Unglued are spent on explaining our different types of reactions to feeling unglued. The two major categories here are stuffers and exploders. Stuffers are those who process reactions internally. For instance, when conflict arises, a stuffer may become silent or avoid the situation completely. Stuffers keep emotions hidden by either building barriers in relationships or letting resentment build in the heart. Just like a Whac-A-Mole game, the emotions can only be hidden for so long before they unexpectedly pop up somewhere else.

Exploders are those who process emotions externally. An exploder is quick to react in a stressful situation and may regret his or her words later. Exploders either blame others with their actions or feel shame later for their actions. Terkeurst offers an assessment in Unglued to help determine whether you are a stuffer or exploder. She also offers the reassurance that one can vacillate between these reactions depending on the relationship. For instance, I tend to be a stuffer with my husband, but I lean toward an exploder with my kids. Why? I am still exploring that!

While this book is not a Bible study, one piece of Scripture did stand out to me. This comes in Joshua 5, where the commander of God's enemy doesn't pick a side between the Israelites and Amalekites. Between the words of God and the whispers of Terkeurst, I was reminded that people and situations are not our enemy. When we stand on the side of the Lord, we stand victorious, no matter what happens. When read in isolation, Unglued can provide some good stories and knowledge around emotional management. When read in a community built by the Holy Spirit, the principles in this book can bring sustaining change to those willing to submit to the God of angel armies.

[Rhonda Gayle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have you had one of those days where you wake up, feeling good, and ready for the day....and then.....those big words! Your kids are fighting, the dog chewed your phone cord, and your car won't start and you come UNGLUED? I hate to admit it, but I have certainly had those days. Lysa gives practical, spiritual tools in her book for women to use when these events cause to explode or say something unkind when we're just stressed We don't actually mean those words. Do you ever feel jealous of other women who seem to have it all together? Do you ever have "negative inside chatter" going on in your head that cause you to come unglued? Do you get to rest, truly rest, on your Sabbath?
Lysa encourages us to use scripture, prayer, examples from other godly women, and positive self-talk as tools in these times. I definitely can relate to all of the situations in Lysa's book which cause women to come unglued. I am a "work in progress" and "God isn't finished with me yet." Read Lysa's book if this sounds like a book that you also need. It felt like I was sitting on the porch swing having coffee with a true friend who cares about me and knows what is hurting me as I read.

[Wendy Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, to be honest, I have heard this woman on the radio for years and her voice simply grates on me. I really haven't ever processed much of what she has said on those spots because of that. So shallow of me, I know. However, this summer a good friend of mine worked as an intern for this ministry and she had so many wonderful things to say. I found the kindle book through my library and thought I would give it a try. The really funny thing is, I thought I didn't really need it - I usually keep myself pretty well together and under control. Ha ha! Now I understand a whole lot more about that misconception as well.

The book was amazing. I purchased a kindle copy for myself and now that I have completed it, I plan to start it from the beginning again - just so I can let it all really, really sink in and learn as much as I can from it. Everyone can find themselves on these pages - even those of us who can pull it together enough to fake it to everyone else. She is insightful, honest, enlightening, and positive. I love the concept of "imperfect progress" and have used that idea over and over in trying to be patient with our therapeutic foster child (who really does come inappropriately unglued a whole lot).

I highly recommend this book.

[Dean Wood · Rating 2 out of 5]

I listened to this book as part of the 2016 VT Reading Challenge. I needed to read a book "targeted at the other gender" and got this one free at some point. Lysa gets one star for reading her own book, which I always enjoy. She gets one star for her brutal honesty and for being a great story teller. (She has some really crazy stories to tell.) On the other hand, much of the book sounded like an extended Facebook status update with lots of silly slang that really got on my nerves after a while. There is no gospel to be found and her biblical basis is mostly Old Testament verses and stories taken out of context to support 3-5 reasons/checklists/things to remember/etc. After a while it just sounded like an extended Joel Osteen sermon. I'm saying all of this not to be super critical, but in the hope that there are a lot better books out there written for women.

[Drew · Rating 2 out of 5]

There is a lot of truth in this book, and potentially helpful wisdom. Yet on the whole I don't think I can commend this book.

My primary beef is that if this is to be considered a "Christian" book, it could only be considered barely Christian, but probably more likely "sub-Christian".

The gospel is referenced, but not explained or applied. The cross of Christ is overlooked while "grace" covers our sins.

The Spirit is not the help extolled in this book, but creatively expressed to-dos yanked out of the Bible.

I was convicted years ago about my own sub-Christian, moralistic self-help teaching. I was convicted when I realized that Mormon kids were listening to my teaching and I don't know that I was saying anything that they couldn't agree with.

This book sheds light on those she partners with: Craig Groeschel, Proverbs 31 ministries, Steven Furtick...