A Neglected Grace: Family Worship in the Christian Home

by Jason Helopoulos

Pastor Jason Helopoulos calls parents and church leaders to reclaim the practice of family worship. This indispensable means of grace directs our children to seek Christ daily, preparing them to go out into the world as fully functioning Christian adults, who love Christ and see all of life in relation to Him.

Genres: Parenting, Family, Christian, Christian Living, Theology, Nonfiction, Spirituality

128 pages, Paperback

First published June 30, 2013

About the author

Jason was born in the “Land of Lincoln,” central Illinois. He graduated from Eastern Illinois University in 1999. Jason then attended Dallas Theological Seminary and completed a Masters of Theology degree (ThM) with a concentration in Historical Theology and Christian Education in 2003. He served on the staff of Park Cities Presbyterian Church as a pastoral intern for one year and then accepted a call as an Assistant Pastor at Meadowview Reformed Presbyterian Church (PCA) in Lexington, North Carolina. In the fall of 2007, Jason was called by Christ Church PCA in Grand Rapids, Michigan to plant a daughter church in Lansing, Michigan. He accepted the call and moved to the field (and snow) as church planter and pastored Providence PCA in East Lansing until 2012. In the summer of 2012, Jason accepted the call as Assistant Pastor of University Reformed Church in East Lansing, Michigan and accepted the call to Senior Pastor in the spring of 2018.

Jason is married to his beautiful bride, Leah. They are blessed with two wonderful children, Gracen and Ethan.

He enjoys spending time with his family, history, reading, laughing, watching a good Chicago Bears’ game (as rare as they are), and feasting upon Chicago-style pizza.

Reviews

[Evan Cruse]

I keep using the phrase balm in my reviews, but this book was a balm for a family shifting from a church background with limited emphasis on family worship to a covenant family understanding.

[Grant Hohlbein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Family worship was entirely foreign to me prior to reading this book by Pastor Jason. Jason does a great job of casting a vision for my family that is hard not to desire, while simultaneously approaching the topic with a refreshing realism. I imagine I will turn to this book many times as I try my best to lead my family in the upcoming years. Moving out of this book, my hope now is to connect with some families currently in the habit of family worship and hear more of what works and what doesn’t for them!

[Eric Wu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, pointed, and convicting! Oh yeah, and also encouraging haha

[Mark Wooten · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent and practical book. Written to be encouraging and digestible, Helopoulos lays out both the why and how of family worship. Later chapters address concerns such as feeling inadequate or single parenthood. His consistent refrain is that family worship must not be a burden to us. It is a gift of grace that the Lord has given. We should come to it joyfully and fully expect God to bless our effort and time spent worshipping Him.

[Jeffrey · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a short, introductory book on the topic of family worship. The author did a good job of explaining the topic, including practical examples of what it can look like, which I appreciated. There’s much to commend here, but I personally struggled with the establishment of this as a distinct category from corporate worship and private/individual worship. I wholeheartedly agree with the need for our relationship with and worship of Christ to permeate every aspect of our lives, including the home and relationships therein—it’s just that the Scriptual justification for the creation of a separate named category for family worship didn’t fully click for me, at least as explained in this book.

[Maria Hilliker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an easily consumable book, and steeped in encouragement and Gospel truths in every chapter. Not a book to make you feel guilty, but one that encourages the reader to run back to the Lord over and over again. I hope you read it.

[Michaël St-Amour · Rating 5 out of 5]

Un excellent livre sur le culte familial!
Ma prière est que tout chef de famille puissent prendre le temps de le lire.
Que vous soyez en train d'instaurer un culte familial chez vous ou qu'il soit déjà bien entamé, ce livre vous sera très utile.
Il donne d'excellents conseils pour demeurer ordonné et stable, ainsi que plusieurs conseils pour certaines situations compliquées.
Vous y trouverez:
- L'importance de la stabilité des cultes
- Conseil pour la structure des cultes
- Une section "que faire si?" (Mon époux est incroyant, pas intéressé, mes enfants ont un grand écart d'âge, etc.)
L'auteur est bien disposé sur le sujet et surtout réaliste dans notre contexte, ce qui rend le livre particulièrement intéressant et utile.

[Samuel Laflèche · Rating 5 out of 5]

Un livre que je recommande chaudement à tous les chefs de famille. Maris, pères, mères monoparentales! Et jeunes hommes qui désirent se marier! Il montre la base et l'importance du culte familiale pour l'édification de nos familles dans l'adoration et la conformité de nos vies à celle de notre Seigneur. C'est un très bon encourageant à faire ce qui est commandé par l'Éternel et qui a été oublié par notre société. À Dieu soit la gloire!

[Kelly Gwin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a pretty solid book and an important subject. Not overly idealistic or unrealistic. Includes a great foundation of the “why” behind worship the identity of God’s people as worshippers (private, corporate, and family). It’s very practical and also includes encouragement for some unfortunately common challenges for some families in this area. All in all it was straightforward and what I would expect from a book of this length.

[Ali · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would highly recommend this book! Just waiting for the hubby to finish it so we can work to implement what we learn!

[Jason Williamson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really great little book about a topic I had no knowledge of before. Excited to try and start some of these rhythms!

[James Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Addresses the importance of regular times of family worship, as well as encouragement and pointers as to how to go about it. Concise and readable! Includes useful appendices.

[Ray Perry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great little book on family devotions. Family worship should include singing, Scripture reading, and prayer. Provided historical perspective, anecdotes, and practical tips.

[Josh Kirby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really, really enjoyed this one. It’s a short, easy read, written to Spiritual home leaders. Family worship isn’t something I’ve ever considered or experienced before. Now, as a single young adult, I have a much better picture of how to lead my future wife and kids in the home. Lord willing, I will be referring back to this one in the future.

[Josh · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Neglected Grace: Family Worship in the Christian Home, is a great little book by Jason Helopoulos that desires to be a gentle nudge to all Christians to actively participate in family worship. Jason sets out at the beginning of his book to make sure that his readers understand that his true desire is not for them to incur guilt because they don't practice family worship (or they practice it infrequently), but that they would be encouraged to overcome, by God's grace, every stumbling block that is currently hindering them from this biblical act of obedience. I loved this quote from Jason on Page 11:

"As we approach the subject of family worship it is helpful to be reminded that it is nothing more than our response in the home to God's magnificent and infinite grace. And it is by that grace that we gather together with our family members to delight in His excellent goodness and eternal glory. Family worship is not something we have to do. Our right standing before God is not impacted by whether we lead our families in worship or not. Christ has already accomplished all for our salvation. Rather, family worship, like other spiritual disciplines, becomes something we want to do."

Jason calls family worship a "joyful responsibility", and I wholeheartedly agree with him. Too often, those of us who actually practice family worship, treat it like it is another box we need to check off on our Christian to-do list, rather than viewing it as a wonderful privilege to share the love of Christ with our other family members on a daily basis and watch the Spirit move in all of our lives. This is especially true for us who have loved ones in our family who are currently not born-again believers...sharing the love of Christ by sitting together as a family and discussing the things of Christ, reading the Word systematically from the beginning of a book to the end of that book, memorizing Scripture together, and then praying over what was read/other areas of concern in our lives is a way for us to glorify God. Consistent, and God-glorifying family worship, is one of the best ways for us to proclaim the excellency of the gracious and merciful God who redeemed us through the precious blood of His Son. We can hang every manner of Joshua 24:15 plaque/banner that we want to in our homes, but nothing "screams louder" that our house truly serves the Lord than consistent and genuine family worship that doesn't incur guilt because they don't practice family worship as often as they want to but a family who practices worship together because they want to and don't turn it into a form of legalism.

This is definitely not a long book, and Jason even acknowledges at the outset of his book that this is not an exhaustive book about family worship, but I think it fully accomplishes what Jason intended it to accomplish and that is a book that gently encourages those who are discouraged in family worship to stay faithful, to those who aren't practicing family worship to "just do it", and offers those who are thinking about doing it sample ways to do it. I have already given one copy of this book to someone in my church and will fully recommend it to others going forward.

I received this for free from Christian Focus Publications via Cross Focused Reviews for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

[Mykaël Arsenault · Rating 4 out of 5]

Une grâce négligée est un petit livre qui encourage les chrétiens à faire des cultes familiaux. Il démontre l’importance de cette pratique et donne de nombreux conseils pratiques afin d’aider ceux qui ont plus de difficulté avec le culte familial. Jason Helopoulos fait attention à ne pas trop culpabiliser ceux qui ne pratiquent pas le culte familial, il cherche plutôt à les encourager et les exhorter à le faire. C’est un livre que tout chef de famille devrait lire.

[CJ Bowen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent encouragement towards family worship, including a list of helpful resources and sample structures. There are a number of similar books, but this one felt most like it was written in the voice of a father, rather than the caricature of a stern presbyterian elder with a long flowing beard. He helpfully focuses on the idea that family worship is worship, not family time, and allows that insight to simplify things down to Bible, singing, and prayer. I'll be getting more of these to give away.

[Rachel Powell · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick, easy read with some good points and practical ideas. I like the fact that he sets high expectations and says that "we too often underestimate our children." In addition to the basic elements of Bible reading, prayer, and singing, he encourages old-fashioned disciplines like learning the catechism. "Catechizing is a lost discipline in the evangelical church today, and we are suffering as a result."

[Hidi Gardner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Practically, it is a good read. It starts off with the reasoning behind family worship and ends with how-to and how not-to and a grace-based mention that no one will do this perfectly. While acknowledging single mothers, the author puts such a heavy emphasis on male leadership that I nearly gave up reading. I'm glad I finished, though, because he does give helpful information. I also appreciated the reminder that "it is never a failure to run to God." pg103.

[William]

Chapter two contains a strong admonition to fathers. The author does a good job of discussing the responsibility of the husband/father to not only care for the physical needs of the family but also the spiritual needs (cp. 1 Tim. 5:8).

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good little book that introduces and describes family worship, a neglected grace. It's brief and accessible an provides some encouragement and tools to practice family worship but is also realistic and full of grace for us stumbling and bumbling our ways through.

[Peter Stonecipher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, solid, presentation of the need for family worship in Christian homes, and what family worship can look like. I read through this book in just a couple of hours, and was left greatly encouraged to incorporate much of what I read into my own home.

[Dan Sudfeld · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good practical book on the importance of family worship. Some helpful appendices at the end.

[Chuck · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful, encouraging book.

[Daniel Henderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Très pratique pour aider des gens à developper et comprendre cette habitude souvent pas pratiquer.

[James Hogan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful little book on family devotion/worship time. This book is well-needed and I very much hope it is read by those who are starting a family (even if it's just a husband/wife, and no kids yet!). Even in fairly solid Christian circles, I feel that a regular family worship time is rare in this day and age. And why? Well, as the author points out, there are multiple reasons. People are tired and overwhelmed, a plethora of other activities filling the days. Parents (most notably husbands/fathers) don't feel suitably trained or equipped to lead family worship. Family devotion time seems old fashioned and is surely awkward, right? None of these reasons are valid cause to give up on such a valuable and important practice. Yes, there is the danger of Christians replacing the local church with the family. But that is not the direction in which the vast majority of the modern western evangelical Christian family leans. Nowadays, most families are all too eager to hand off any and all worship and leadership responsibilities to the local church. And yes, there are reasons for that which would fill books (and probably have).

Nonetheless, as this review quickly threatens to spill out of the "short" category, I would like to recommend this book to all Christians. The author does a wonderful job of explaining the proper place of family worship, highlighting the importance and value of it, and giving numerous examples of how it might work in different contexts. The author is not judgmental or "one size fits all" with the idea of family devotion, explaining how it might (and should!) look different in different families, and extending grace to those parents who are not able to always craft and provide the perfect family worship experience. For that is not what family worship is about, for at its core, family worship is not about the family. It is about God. And so as the parents seek to model what it is to love and worship God to their children, simply setting aside some time each day to worship God and come before Him is...beyond priceless in impact. But even aside from impact (as no parent can truly dictate or decide how their children will follow the Lord), leading family worship is about being faithful to our God, step by step, day by day, even amidst the trials and tribulations of this daily life. This book was helpful in (multiple times!) making the point that even if a worship time only consisted in a short reading of Scripture and a prayer...still better than nothing!! Grateful for this book and the reminders and helpful tips it provided. Yes, I came at it from a friendly perspective, sure that I would agree with its viewpoint and admonitions. Still though, this book reinforced my beliefs and encouraged me in my longings for what my own family's daily worship times will be like - a time of humbly and faithfully coming to our Lord as His children, our family seeking to glorify God in a small way that echoes the praises that one day all the earth will resound with.

[Michael Boling · Rating 5 out of 5]

The idea of family worship for some may conjure up images of the days of the Puritans or perhaps even the days of Little House on the Prairie. In an age where most families activities are centered on work, school, after-school pursuits with worship and Bible study often restricted to Sunday mornings, the idea of carving out time for consistent family worship and Bible study might seem impossible. Jason Helopoulos, in his book A Neglected Grace: Family Worship in the Christian Home, provides the reader with a biblically centric and practical guide for families to instituted what God commands, namely the necessity to build families on the foundation of Scripture and glorifying God.

As a fan of the Puritans, I was immediately excited to read what Helopoulos had to say in his book and I will state right off the bat, I was not disappointed one iota. In the tradition of the Puritan authors, Helopoulos provides not only the biblical mandate for instituting family worship, he also provides numerous practical ways for families of all shape, sizes, age ranges, and levels of busyness to establish this important element in their homes.

Helopoulos readily admits that family worship is not easy and can at times seem rigorous and forced. In response to that perception, he notes “leading our families in worship is a responsibility that is given to us.” Commands in Scripture such as Deuteronomy 6:6-7 states “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” The words spoken of in that passage refer to Scripture. Furthermore, worshiping God by engaging His word and singing praises to His name should bring us unending joy.

As a new father of an adopted soon to be 12 year old girl, I am becoming more mindful of my responsibility as the shepherd of my little flock of three which includes me, my wife, and our daughter. Part of this responsibility as a shepherd is to “tend the sheep” God has blessed me with. Helopoulos rightly notes “God is honored and glorified as a Christian family gathers to commune with him, receive from Him, and give praise, adoration, and thanksgiving to Him.” Instituting consistent family worship is the means by which I can, as a shepherd of my family, establish a framework by which my family remains devoted to worshiping God and studying His word. As Helopoulos so wonderfully states, “A family that reads the Bible, prays together, and sings praise to God will begin to have its actions, thoughts, and words shaped by this daily event.”

With the necessity of family worship as a foundation, Helopoulos provides a number of practical reasons and methods by which families can start practicing family worship. He notes that family worship is just that, worship of a holy God. Thus, it should be approached as serious business and not a time for entertainment or fun and games. This certainly does not mean that family worship has to be boring or dreadful by any means. However, one should not approach the throne of grace with a lackadaisical attitude. Worship can thus be anything from reading God’s word, singing songs of praise, prayer or any combination of those. With that said, Helopoulos aptly notes “If the Scriptures teach the truth of God and what He desires from us, which they do, then they must have central place in our worship together.” Reading the Bible together as a family may be a bit frightening for some parents as they may be a bit nervous their children may ask them a question for which they do not know the answer. Other parents might feel as if most of Scripture is above the level of understanding for their children. To the former issue, Helopoulos reminds the reader to “take their time. It is something to endeavor towards. However, do not let that fear stop you form reading the Word of God with your family.” In addressing the idea children may not be able to understand Scripture, Helopoulos comments “We too often underestimate the power of the Word of God. And we too often underestimate our children.”

I really appreciated the encouragement of Helopoulos for families to sing songs of praise together using hymns, praise songs or even responsive readings. Singing as a family, especially for those tonally challenged, might seem embarrassing at first, however, all God requests is a joyful noise which at first may be all that comes from your mouth. Regardless of how well one might sing, singing praise to God is a vital part of family worship and for my family, I think it will be awkward at first but well worth the effort.

Additionally, the emphasis on interacting with the ancient creedal statements and catechisms was also greatly appreciated. Far too many people view these statements of the faith as the area of the scholar, something Helopoulos rightly rejects. In fact, he provides in the appendix section of this book, numerous resources to include the Apostle’s Creed and the Nicene Creed. These important creedal statements of faith combined with the Westminster Confession of Faith and the Heidelberg Catechism, are historical statements of faith that can become a vital part of family worship.

A Neglected Grace is a truly valuable shot in the arm for families to engage worshiping God together as a family unit, something Scripture actually commands us to do. The timeless truths discussed by Helopoulos are vital to the health of the overall family unit. As the head of my household, I was excited to read this book and what Helopoulos has to share has encouraged, invigorated, and spurred me to institute family worship as a daily element of my family’s relationship with God. I highly recommend this book for those desiring to grow together as a family in the fear and admonition of the Lord as well as for those wanting to discover ways to train up their children in the way they should go so when they are older, they will not so quickly depart from the ways of God. Instituting a family tradition such as family worship will benefit not just your immediate family unit, it will also benefit generations to come.

I received this for free from Christian Focus Publications via Cross Focused Reviews for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 : "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read on the importance of family worship, which could be simply described as a daily gathering to pray, read scripture, and sing hymns together as a family.

It was interesting to read old theologians and pastors comment on the importance of family worship as it made you think, why was this practice lost? I would have enjoyed even more quotations from people long ago who valued family worship, but I think it’s good the author focused more on the practicalities/importance of why we should strive to do this still today.

I think personally, the plan for our family will be to build up gradually and adapt what we can and cannot include in our schedule. The idea is to not be legalistic or check off a box. I think these daily practices will grow naturally with our family.

Lastly, The author is very understanding and humble in his approach. I appreciated that. So, you can read this as a single parent, the spouse of an unbeliever, a family with kids who have huge age gaps, or lots of young children, etc and he explains how family worship may look in these different circumstances.

[Leonardo Antonio · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is a simple an practical book about how to start family worship, it provides the basic theology points to justify it, the basic tenets of the practice, how to start, it deals with basic objections and provides a few strategies on how to deal with most problems you may have.

I think the book is good and useful for someone starting but somewhat limited for someone already doing it hence the 3 stars. Probably for somebody wanting to start it can be a 5.

I think the introduction is a little bit slow and could benefit from a more systematic approach to deliver it. Having said that I understand the purpose of the author is not to be a long exposition about the topic but a pastoral letter for parents trying to teach the word of God to their children.

The latter part of the book I find very good and practical. As well as encouraging to include the testimonials of other parents.

If you are thinking about starting family worship and don’t know where to start this can be a good starting point.

[Michael Sanelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really glad I picked this one up. Makes times of Family Worship quite simple and doable for any household. Men should read this to be encouraged to put God's word in front of their families regularly. If you've failed as a husband/father in the home, don't feel shamed to not pursue this. Helopoulos makes it easy. Read. Sing. Pray. You don't need to be a theologian to read the scripture with your family. You don't need to be a professional singer to sing simple songs of praise in the home. You don't need to be a pastor to pray with power in the home. Just read, sing, and pray together and watch how the Lord ministers to your family over the long haul. One great encouragement I found reading this was that it isn't necessarily about transformative moments with your family, but ongoing faithfulness that can leave great impact on your family.