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Are You Happy Now?: 10 Ways to Live a Happy Life
What is preventing you from being happy now? Is it your partner, your health, your job, your financial situation or your weight? Or is it all the things you think you “should” do? Barbara Berger takes a look at all the things we think and do that prevent us from living happy lives now. The book’s basic premise is that our thoughts determine our experience of reality—and understanding this is the key to living a happy life. This is a revolutionary way of looking at life because most people believe that outer conditions are the reason why they are unhappy. But if outer conditions are not the cause—what is? Berger presents 10 practical ways to use this understanding in your daily life, your relationships, at work and for your health. And she gives examples from her own dramatic life since leaving America at the young age of 18 in protest against the Vietnam War and settling in Scandinavia to her lifelong exploration of the power of mind and the nature of consciousness.
197 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2007
9 people are currently reading
404 people want to read
About the author
Barbara Berger
71 books22 followersAmerican-born author Barbara Berger has written 15 self-empowerment books including her international bestseller “The Road to Power / Fast Food for the Soul” (published in 30 languages), “Are You Happy Now? 10 Ways to Live a Happy Life” (published in 21 languages) and “The Awakening Human Being – A Guide to the Power of Mind”. Barbara's latest book is "Find and Follow Your Inner Compass - Instant Guidance in an Age of Information Overload".
Barbara lives in Copenhagen, Denmark and works as coach, helping people around the globe come into alignment with their own true power. For more about Barbara see her Web site: www.beamteam.com
Barbara lives in Copenhagen, Denmark and works as coach, helping people around the globe come into alignment with their own true power. For more about Barbara see her Web site: www.beamteam.com
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
May 6, 2014
This is a book to read more than once!
I love and appreciate what the author did with this content. I could go on and on about the value and wisdom of this book. But I’ll start here, with a profound statement I heard years back: Sometimes the questions matter more to us than the answers. Though author, Barbara Berger, presents us with beneficial answers and information to consider and integrate, she also presents us with valuable questions (and all-important solutions), such as: Is the past controlling your present? Are you a people-pleaser with an aversion to conflict? Do the opinions of others influence or manipulate you? Do you have healthy boundaries? Do you fear your emotions? Do you know what the collective lie is that affects nearly all of us? What is the difference between consciousness and mind? Who are you beyond your thoughts that arise? What kind of life might you have if you stopped allowing other people to mind your business and if you stopped minding theirs? How many ways do you make or keep yourself unhappy, without realizing you’re doing this? How can you communicate honestly and clearly with others if you aren’t honest and clear with yourself? How can you have a fulfilling life if you’re afraid of making mistakes or fear others believing your choices are mistakes? How can you become mindful, especially when emotionally upset or afraid? These (and others she covers in the book) are questions many of us contend with but may not address, as this book does and does so well.
The ten chapter titles give a preview of what’s to come in the book, whether they build enthusiasm and eagerness to delve into them or, perhaps, make you quake a bit. It all depends on how ready you are to live a more authentic and fulfilling life. The titles are as follows: Accept what is; Want what you have; Be honest with yourself; Investigate your stories; Mind your own business; Follow your passion and accept the consequences; Do the right thing and accept the consequences; Deal with what is in front of you and forget the rest; Know what is what; and Learn to see beyond impermanence. There are worksheets at the back that help you address each chapter concept, as well as an Epilogue titled “Don’t Believe What You Think.” You’re either ready to see what the author has to offer about each of these or you’re telling yourself there’s laundry to fold or grass to cut (i.e., avoidance).
This is a book written by someone who who’s been through a lot, was facing a lot, including moving forward in years—and asked herself an important question: “...what do you need to remember to live a happy life? If you would sum it all up, what would it be? What do you need to know to get you through the rest of your life in a better way?” This is a question (what do you need to remember to live a happy life?) many of us contemplate, but likely do so in passing rather than addressing it head-on as the author did. Berger states in the Introduction that she recognized how much of her life she’d “spent worrying about stuff or being nervous and insecure about stuff or not really enjoying the fullness and richness of” her life. This is more of a common complaint than, I believe, most of us would like to admit, and one we truly desire to resolve. (I love the mountain example in Chapter 8, and find it highly beneficial!)
In her candid, straightforward manner, Berger discusses how we resist what-is, whatever the what-is is in a moment (weather, an event, pain, health, relationships, finances, etc.), and how we tend to fight the reality of what-is nearly all the time, as well as how this resistance affects not only us but how we experience life. However, she makes a keen point that accepting what-is is not saying “yes” to everything and doing nothing; that it is not about passivity, but the opposite. There were certainly additional brilliant points made beside these two I’m about to share, but I love these: We more often than not don’t live our lives, but live our interpretations of our lives; we’re dancing with illusions. And, we let other people manipulate us with their uninvestigated codes of behavior.
Berger proposes that all of us can lead happy lives regardless of our situation, and then demonstrates how to accomplish this throughout the book. She asks how well we know ourselves, or if we’re afraid to do this, asks why; discusses our responsibility to ourselves and our right to exist; and how we can deal with the fear of criticism and choice with integrity. She shares that we can remember the wonder of our own existence; discusses common worries and stories we tell ourselves and how to transform them; and shares what she discovered real happiness and success is, and how clear and simple it actually is.
Berger reminds us that life is always a process that we’re in; that it’s about awakening our awareness so that we make appropriate choices for ourselves, and not focus on perfection, which is unrealistic. I give this book an all-thumbs-up; and as I said earlier, it’s one to read more than once.
I love and appreciate what the author did with this content. I could go on and on about the value and wisdom of this book. But I’ll start here, with a profound statement I heard years back: Sometimes the questions matter more to us than the answers. Though author, Barbara Berger, presents us with beneficial answers and information to consider and integrate, she also presents us with valuable questions (and all-important solutions), such as: Is the past controlling your present? Are you a people-pleaser with an aversion to conflict? Do the opinions of others influence or manipulate you? Do you have healthy boundaries? Do you fear your emotions? Do you know what the collective lie is that affects nearly all of us? What is the difference between consciousness and mind? Who are you beyond your thoughts that arise? What kind of life might you have if you stopped allowing other people to mind your business and if you stopped minding theirs? How many ways do you make or keep yourself unhappy, without realizing you’re doing this? How can you communicate honestly and clearly with others if you aren’t honest and clear with yourself? How can you have a fulfilling life if you’re afraid of making mistakes or fear others believing your choices are mistakes? How can you become mindful, especially when emotionally upset or afraid? These (and others she covers in the book) are questions many of us contend with but may not address, as this book does and does so well.
The ten chapter titles give a preview of what’s to come in the book, whether they build enthusiasm and eagerness to delve into them or, perhaps, make you quake a bit. It all depends on how ready you are to live a more authentic and fulfilling life. The titles are as follows: Accept what is; Want what you have; Be honest with yourself; Investigate your stories; Mind your own business; Follow your passion and accept the consequences; Do the right thing and accept the consequences; Deal with what is in front of you and forget the rest; Know what is what; and Learn to see beyond impermanence. There are worksheets at the back that help you address each chapter concept, as well as an Epilogue titled “Don’t Believe What You Think.” You’re either ready to see what the author has to offer about each of these or you’re telling yourself there’s laundry to fold or grass to cut (i.e., avoidance).
This is a book written by someone who who’s been through a lot, was facing a lot, including moving forward in years—and asked herself an important question: “...what do you need to remember to live a happy life? If you would sum it all up, what would it be? What do you need to know to get you through the rest of your life in a better way?” This is a question (what do you need to remember to live a happy life?) many of us contemplate, but likely do so in passing rather than addressing it head-on as the author did. Berger states in the Introduction that she recognized how much of her life she’d “spent worrying about stuff or being nervous and insecure about stuff or not really enjoying the fullness and richness of” her life. This is more of a common complaint than, I believe, most of us would like to admit, and one we truly desire to resolve. (I love the mountain example in Chapter 8, and find it highly beneficial!)
In her candid, straightforward manner, Berger discusses how we resist what-is, whatever the what-is is in a moment (weather, an event, pain, health, relationships, finances, etc.), and how we tend to fight the reality of what-is nearly all the time, as well as how this resistance affects not only us but how we experience life. However, she makes a keen point that accepting what-is is not saying “yes” to everything and doing nothing; that it is not about passivity, but the opposite. There were certainly additional brilliant points made beside these two I’m about to share, but I love these: We more often than not don’t live our lives, but live our interpretations of our lives; we’re dancing with illusions. And, we let other people manipulate us with their uninvestigated codes of behavior.
Berger proposes that all of us can lead happy lives regardless of our situation, and then demonstrates how to accomplish this throughout the book. She asks how well we know ourselves, or if we’re afraid to do this, asks why; discusses our responsibility to ourselves and our right to exist; and how we can deal with the fear of criticism and choice with integrity. She shares that we can remember the wonder of our own existence; discusses common worries and stories we tell ourselves and how to transform them; and shares what she discovered real happiness and success is, and how clear and simple it actually is.
Berger reminds us that life is always a process that we’re in; that it’s about awakening our awareness so that we make appropriate choices for ourselves, and not focus on perfection, which is unrealistic. I give this book an all-thumbs-up; and as I said earlier, it’s one to read more than once.
April 7, 2020
Berger brings some new knowledge into my life regarding happiness, but also leaves a lot of my original opinion intact. Sometimes she goes over board in a way that I can’t agree with.
April 24, 2014
“Are you Happy Now?” by Barbara Berger is a book that enlightens, uplifts and transfixes a reader. In the Introduction the author tells us how her book came to be as she pondered one day laying on the sofa, “What does it take to live a happy life?”.The 10 ways she addresses in this delightful book are broken down into sections or the chapters of the book. There is so much in- depth knowledge shared in this book that I found myself re-reading portions of it as I was reading, just to make sure I was absorbing the words and information to the fullest extent. The book is written in a comprehensive and easy to understand manner, but its depth is enthralling. It begs us to question the idea of our happiness. Are we happy? How can we be happier? How do we embrace life to its fullest extent? How can we handle the stress and situations of our lives? What makes life worth living? How can we be at peace within ourselves? I found within her words a deep sense of honesty, wisdom and intrigue. Not everyday do you come across a book that makes you rethink your entire life! The author extends her hand to her readers giving us thought provoking processes to work with that can change our life and bring us more happiness, peace and contentment.
In Chapter 1 Accept What Is the author writes “ Just think how you would feel if you didn’t resist what is, just for a few minutes. “ I had never really pondered upon this before. What if I did not resist what is, and allowed it to be, how would I feel? What if I simply accepted how things were. Barbara then writes, “If we could just for a moment allow things to be exactly the way they are, without fighting them. If you play around with this idea or mind shift, you will discover that it can be quite liberating”. So I played around with it, I found a sort of silence and peace and acceptance that I found interesting, enlightening and refreshing. To an extent it felt like freedom. What a thought to just allow things to be as they are! Another section of chapter one I really loved speaks about the nature of pain. Barbara tells us “ I found that when I think about pain I am mostly resisting the pain, and that when I resist pain it definitely gets worse . “ How true is that! It goes along with the whole vantage point of what we resist often persists. Or when we focus on something in resistance, which is giving our attention to it and amplifying it, generally it does get worse and become bigger. In this section the author explains that pain can often be amplified or lessened in its degree. She writes “ I try to be with the sensation in the present moment and allow it, without going into a panic. When I am able to do this, I find the nature of the discomfort changes.” I think the concept presented here is a very relevant one, for where we focus our mind and how we feel are huge components to living a happy life.
In Chapter 2 Want what you Have Barbara address the meaning of a crisis, the blessings behind one and how to deal with them. I loved this line “ Crisis is an alarm signal, a sign that something you are thinking or doing is preventing you from experiencing the happiness that is your true nature and birthright”. To look at a crisis in this way enables us to see beyond its illusion, and gain knowledge from its occurrence. She really breaks it down for her readers in showcasing how crisis and the mind are related and how attitude plays a pivotal role in not only surviving the crisis but charting a new course. We can learn from crisis and investigate ourselves deeper, gaining a different perspective. I particularly resonated with this line “ Here’s what I’ve discovered – happiness is a mind that is at peace with itself”. To understand the balance between being fully present and the thoughts of the mind, we can free ourselves from being trapped in unhappiness. In Chapter 3 Be Honest with yourself Barbara speaks indepthly of “ Becoming your own Best friend”, “Being a people Pleaser” and about “ Being Loving and kind”. This Chapter shows us how to be honest with ourselves and how to communicate with ourselves and with others. The author writes “ And who’s to say if being clear and honest and communicating openly is not the most loving and kind thing we can possibly do in every situation!” How about that! To be clear and honest and communicate? What would that do for us? Would it help us be more open? More ourselves? Might it help even clarify our intentions? This really makes a person think about how they present themselves and about how honest they are. Can it be done in a loving way? I think it can. So why don’t we do it, out of fear of disagreement? This is addressed thoroughly in the book as well.
This book delves into the “truth” of things. Examining our own thoughts, and how we can turn our thoughts around to see the truth and bring resolution. A brilliant statement from Chapter 4- Investigate your stories “ In my experience, there’s only one way to deal with worrying – and that’s to shine the light of truth on the things we are worrying about”. This chapter helps us understand what worrying is and how to change our thoughts. By telling new stories and understanding what kind of stories we are telling, we gain more control over our own thoughts and feelings. Chapter 5 – Mind your own business gives us ideas about boundaries, and how to “ be at home with yourself” Barbara explains how to be “at home” with yourself or that is- in sync with yourself and not into invading other people’s business. “ Call it being your own best friend. Call it being there for you. Call it minding your own business. Call it peace. But whatever you call it, when you do this, everyone becomes your friend, including you.” Is that not a profound statement? Does it not send a little shiver up your spine? What if everyone was at peace with themselves and what if we did mind our own business ? How would that feel. The book gives us many brilliant ideas to consider.
One of my favorite parts of the entire book is in Chapter 6- Follow your Passion and Accept the Consequences. It is called “My deathbed Technique” This idea deals with living fully in the present moment, embracing the totality of your opportunities and following your hearts desire. While the name of this technique might sound slightly interesting, it is a remarkable and relevant concept to me. How often do we not say what we feel? Or follow our true passions? Or seize the moments life hands us? Barbara writes about life being a gift and seizing our opportunities. ” I try to envision how I will feel on my deathbed if I do not honor the highest and best in myself at this very moment in time.” When we think back on the moment we are being offered and then think about how we would feel about it on our deathbed, it helps us to follow our hearts desire and gives us conviction to allow life to flow through us. It got me thinking about my own life and how on occasion I restrain myself a bit due to social anxieties and stigmatic fears. I think this is a brilliant way to look at living in the now.
Another section I truly enjoyed was “Fearing your Emotions” in chapter 8. This line made me really think about my emotions “ So when powerful emotions arise, we are afraid because we think we’ll be swept away and lose control. “ we read here how to be mindful of our emotions and not so much fear them like an ugly monster. I think a lot of times we do run from our emotions and as such we let fear or panic control us and our circumstances. The author clearly explains here many techniques to use to overcome these so called “scary emotions” and how to remain present and “intend” to be mindful, even doing the simplest chores like the dishes. By being mindful we can experience more peace and actually “be” in our now. I like that idea a lot, being in our now without clouding it with worry, judgment, or fear. There is a beautiful parable in Chapter 9 – Know what is what called “In the Land with no Mirrors – A Parable “ The mental cages we build that keep us from seeing. Outside the cages is life. Free Life. And Love. Vast and unimaginable. “ I thought that was such a relevant and heart warming statement ,within one of the lines of the parable. So many times we build cages, around ourselves and our emotions but we are naturally free and loving. Just as a bird in a cage, we long to spread our wings and fly and experience and express.
The author asks us to question, if death is dangerous and if life is dangerous, in the last chapter. She wants us to examine these concepts for what they are. Is there proof death is dangerous? Could we liberate ourselves from fear of life if we did not fear death? A very valid point and one which is intrinsically examined here with preciseness and reasoning. The book ends with a Happy Life worksheet based on each chapter, where key points are presented and you are encouraged to write down and investigate the various parts of your life and examine for yourself things that are working and things that are not. This helps you see struggles more clearly and find the true path to your own unique happiness. “Are You Happy Now?” delivers fully with great depth, insight and invigoration. There is an tremendous amount of knowledge and information presented in this book. The language and concepts fit together with fluidity, efficiency and relevance. This book can not only help enhance your life and open your mind to seeing far beneath the surface – it can change your life as well! Phenomenal writing Barbara Berger! You have written a book of value, exploration and taken the concept of Happiness and fully helped people to understand what it is and how to be happy! After reading this book you WILL be asking yourself “ Are You Happy Now?”
Review by Brad Tesh Author of Eternal Magick and co author of Seek Joy Toss Confetti. www.awakeninglite.com
In Chapter 1 Accept What Is the author writes “ Just think how you would feel if you didn’t resist what is, just for a few minutes. “ I had never really pondered upon this before. What if I did not resist what is, and allowed it to be, how would I feel? What if I simply accepted how things were. Barbara then writes, “If we could just for a moment allow things to be exactly the way they are, without fighting them. If you play around with this idea or mind shift, you will discover that it can be quite liberating”. So I played around with it, I found a sort of silence and peace and acceptance that I found interesting, enlightening and refreshing. To an extent it felt like freedom. What a thought to just allow things to be as they are! Another section of chapter one I really loved speaks about the nature of pain. Barbara tells us “ I found that when I think about pain I am mostly resisting the pain, and that when I resist pain it definitely gets worse . “ How true is that! It goes along with the whole vantage point of what we resist often persists. Or when we focus on something in resistance, which is giving our attention to it and amplifying it, generally it does get worse and become bigger. In this section the author explains that pain can often be amplified or lessened in its degree. She writes “ I try to be with the sensation in the present moment and allow it, without going into a panic. When I am able to do this, I find the nature of the discomfort changes.” I think the concept presented here is a very relevant one, for where we focus our mind and how we feel are huge components to living a happy life.
In Chapter 2 Want what you Have Barbara address the meaning of a crisis, the blessings behind one and how to deal with them. I loved this line “ Crisis is an alarm signal, a sign that something you are thinking or doing is preventing you from experiencing the happiness that is your true nature and birthright”. To look at a crisis in this way enables us to see beyond its illusion, and gain knowledge from its occurrence. She really breaks it down for her readers in showcasing how crisis and the mind are related and how attitude plays a pivotal role in not only surviving the crisis but charting a new course. We can learn from crisis and investigate ourselves deeper, gaining a different perspective. I particularly resonated with this line “ Here’s what I’ve discovered – happiness is a mind that is at peace with itself”. To understand the balance between being fully present and the thoughts of the mind, we can free ourselves from being trapped in unhappiness. In Chapter 3 Be Honest with yourself Barbara speaks indepthly of “ Becoming your own Best friend”, “Being a people Pleaser” and about “ Being Loving and kind”. This Chapter shows us how to be honest with ourselves and how to communicate with ourselves and with others. The author writes “ And who’s to say if being clear and honest and communicating openly is not the most loving and kind thing we can possibly do in every situation!” How about that! To be clear and honest and communicate? What would that do for us? Would it help us be more open? More ourselves? Might it help even clarify our intentions? This really makes a person think about how they present themselves and about how honest they are. Can it be done in a loving way? I think it can. So why don’t we do it, out of fear of disagreement? This is addressed thoroughly in the book as well.
This book delves into the “truth” of things. Examining our own thoughts, and how we can turn our thoughts around to see the truth and bring resolution. A brilliant statement from Chapter 4- Investigate your stories “ In my experience, there’s only one way to deal with worrying – and that’s to shine the light of truth on the things we are worrying about”. This chapter helps us understand what worrying is and how to change our thoughts. By telling new stories and understanding what kind of stories we are telling, we gain more control over our own thoughts and feelings. Chapter 5 – Mind your own business gives us ideas about boundaries, and how to “ be at home with yourself” Barbara explains how to be “at home” with yourself or that is- in sync with yourself and not into invading other people’s business. “ Call it being your own best friend. Call it being there for you. Call it minding your own business. Call it peace. But whatever you call it, when you do this, everyone becomes your friend, including you.” Is that not a profound statement? Does it not send a little shiver up your spine? What if everyone was at peace with themselves and what if we did mind our own business ? How would that feel. The book gives us many brilliant ideas to consider.
One of my favorite parts of the entire book is in Chapter 6- Follow your Passion and Accept the Consequences. It is called “My deathbed Technique” This idea deals with living fully in the present moment, embracing the totality of your opportunities and following your hearts desire. While the name of this technique might sound slightly interesting, it is a remarkable and relevant concept to me. How often do we not say what we feel? Or follow our true passions? Or seize the moments life hands us? Barbara writes about life being a gift and seizing our opportunities. ” I try to envision how I will feel on my deathbed if I do not honor the highest and best in myself at this very moment in time.” When we think back on the moment we are being offered and then think about how we would feel about it on our deathbed, it helps us to follow our hearts desire and gives us conviction to allow life to flow through us. It got me thinking about my own life and how on occasion I restrain myself a bit due to social anxieties and stigmatic fears. I think this is a brilliant way to look at living in the now.
Another section I truly enjoyed was “Fearing your Emotions” in chapter 8. This line made me really think about my emotions “ So when powerful emotions arise, we are afraid because we think we’ll be swept away and lose control. “ we read here how to be mindful of our emotions and not so much fear them like an ugly monster. I think a lot of times we do run from our emotions and as such we let fear or panic control us and our circumstances. The author clearly explains here many techniques to use to overcome these so called “scary emotions” and how to remain present and “intend” to be mindful, even doing the simplest chores like the dishes. By being mindful we can experience more peace and actually “be” in our now. I like that idea a lot, being in our now without clouding it with worry, judgment, or fear. There is a beautiful parable in Chapter 9 – Know what is what called “In the Land with no Mirrors – A Parable “ The mental cages we build that keep us from seeing. Outside the cages is life. Free Life. And Love. Vast and unimaginable. “ I thought that was such a relevant and heart warming statement ,within one of the lines of the parable. So many times we build cages, around ourselves and our emotions but we are naturally free and loving. Just as a bird in a cage, we long to spread our wings and fly and experience and express.
The author asks us to question, if death is dangerous and if life is dangerous, in the last chapter. She wants us to examine these concepts for what they are. Is there proof death is dangerous? Could we liberate ourselves from fear of life if we did not fear death? A very valid point and one which is intrinsically examined here with preciseness and reasoning. The book ends with a Happy Life worksheet based on each chapter, where key points are presented and you are encouraged to write down and investigate the various parts of your life and examine for yourself things that are working and things that are not. This helps you see struggles more clearly and find the true path to your own unique happiness. “Are You Happy Now?” delivers fully with great depth, insight and invigoration. There is an tremendous amount of knowledge and information presented in this book. The language and concepts fit together with fluidity, efficiency and relevance. This book can not only help enhance your life and open your mind to seeing far beneath the surface – it can change your life as well! Phenomenal writing Barbara Berger! You have written a book of value, exploration and taken the concept of Happiness and fully helped people to understand what it is and how to be happy! After reading this book you WILL be asking yourself “ Are You Happy Now?”
Review by Brad Tesh Author of Eternal Magick and co author of Seek Joy Toss Confetti. www.awakeninglite.com
June 28, 2017
لم يكن بتلك الروعة أو الجمال الذي يتبادر إلى الذهن عند قراءة العنوان أو المختصر ... عادي جدا، غير محفز .. بل و واقعي بشكل محبط
October 11, 2017
الكتاب جميل ويوضح ماهي الاسباب للمعاناة والتعاسه ويتم طرح الحلول لها
July 23, 2021
Väga mõtlemapanev raamat!
May 1, 2014
This is a book to read more than once!
I love and appreciate what the author did with this content. I could go on and on about the value and wisdom of this book. But I’ll start here, with a profound statement I heard years back: Sometimes the questions matter more to us than the answers. Though author, Barbara Berger, presents us with beneficial answers and information to consider and integrate, she also presents us with valuable questions (and all-important solutions), such as: Is the past controlling your present? Are you a people-pleaser with an aversion to conflict? Do the opinions of others influence or manipulate you? Do you have healthy boundaries? Do you fear your emotions? Do you know what the collective lie is that affects nearly all of us? What is the difference between consciousness and mind? Who are you beyond your thoughts that arise? What kind of life might you have if you stopped allowing other people to mind your business and if you stopped minding theirs? How many ways do you make or keep yourself unhappy, without realizing you’re doing this? How can you communicate honestly and clearly with others if you aren’t honest and clear with yourself? How can you have a fulfilling life if you’re afraid of making mistakes or fear others believing your choices are mistakes? How can you become mindful, especially when emotionally upset or afraid? These (and others she covers in the book) are questions many of us contend with but may not address, as this book does and does so well.
The ten chapter titles give a preview of what’s to come in the book, whether they build enthusiasm and eagerness to delve into them or, perhaps, make you quake a bit. It all depends on how ready you are to live a more authentic and fulfilling life. The titles are as follows: Accept what is; Want what you have; Be honest with yourself; Investigate your stories; Mind your own business; Follow your passion and accept the consequences; Do the right thing and accept the consequences; Deal with what is in front of you and forget the rest; Know what is what; and Learn to see beyond impermanence. There are worksheets at the back that help you address each chapter concept, as well as an Epilogue titled “Don’t Believe What You Think.” You’re either ready to see what the author has to offer about each of these or you’re telling yourself there’s laundry to fold or grass to cut (i.e., avoidance).
This is a book written by someone who who’s been through a lot, was facing a lot, including moving forward in years—and asked herself an important question: “...what do you need to remember to live a happy life? If you would sum it all up, what would it be? What do you need to know to get you through the rest of your life in a better way?” This is a question (what do you need to remember to live a happy life?) many of us contemplate, but likely do so in passing rather than addressing it head-on as the author did. Berger states in the Introduction that she recognized how much of her life she’d “spent worrying about stuff or being nervous and insecure about stuff or not really enjoying the fullness and richness of” her life. This is more of a common complaint than, I believe, most of us would like to admit, and one we truly desire to resolve. (I love the mountain example in Chapter 8, and find it highly beneficial!)
In her candid, straightforward manner, Berger discusses how we resist what-is, whatever the what-is is in a moment (weather, an event, pain, health, relationships, finances, etc.), and how we tend to fight the reality of what-is nearly all the time, as well as how this resistance affects not only us but how we experience life. However, she makes a keen point that accepting what-is is not saying “yes” to everything and doing nothing; that it is not about passivity, but the opposite. There were certainly additional brilliant points made beside these two I’m about to share, but I love these: We more often than not don’t live our lives, but live our interpretations of our lives; we’re dancing with illusions. And, we let other people manipulate us with their uninvestigated codes of behavior.
Berger proposes that all of us can lead happy lives regardless of our situation, and then demonstrates how to accomplish this throughout the book. She asks how well we know ourselves, or if we’re afraid to do this, asks why; discusses our responsibility to ourselves and our right to exist; and how we can deal with the fear of criticism and choice with integrity. She shares that we can remember the wonder of our own existence; discusses common worries and stories we tell ourselves and how to transform them; and shares what she discovered real happiness and success is, and how clear and simple it actually is.
Berger reminds us that life is always a process that we’re in; that it’s about awakening our awareness so that we make appropriate choices for ourselves, and not focus on perfection, which is unrealistic. I give this book an all-thumbs-up; and as I said earlier, it’s one to read more than once.
I love and appreciate what the author did with this content. I could go on and on about the value and wisdom of this book. But I’ll start here, with a profound statement I heard years back: Sometimes the questions matter more to us than the answers. Though author, Barbara Berger, presents us with beneficial answers and information to consider and integrate, she also presents us with valuable questions (and all-important solutions), such as: Is the past controlling your present? Are you a people-pleaser with an aversion to conflict? Do the opinions of others influence or manipulate you? Do you have healthy boundaries? Do you fear your emotions? Do you know what the collective lie is that affects nearly all of us? What is the difference between consciousness and mind? Who are you beyond your thoughts that arise? What kind of life might you have if you stopped allowing other people to mind your business and if you stopped minding theirs? How many ways do you make or keep yourself unhappy, without realizing you’re doing this? How can you communicate honestly and clearly with others if you aren’t honest and clear with yourself? How can you have a fulfilling life if you’re afraid of making mistakes or fear others believing your choices are mistakes? How can you become mindful, especially when emotionally upset or afraid? These (and others she covers in the book) are questions many of us contend with but may not address, as this book does and does so well.
The ten chapter titles give a preview of what’s to come in the book, whether they build enthusiasm and eagerness to delve into them or, perhaps, make you quake a bit. It all depends on how ready you are to live a more authentic and fulfilling life. The titles are as follows: Accept what is; Want what you have; Be honest with yourself; Investigate your stories; Mind your own business; Follow your passion and accept the consequences; Do the right thing and accept the consequences; Deal with what is in front of you and forget the rest; Know what is what; and Learn to see beyond impermanence. There are worksheets at the back that help you address each chapter concept, as well as an Epilogue titled “Don’t Believe What You Think.” You’re either ready to see what the author has to offer about each of these or you’re telling yourself there’s laundry to fold or grass to cut (i.e., avoidance).
This is a book written by someone who who’s been through a lot, was facing a lot, including moving forward in years—and asked herself an important question: “...what do you need to remember to live a happy life? If you would sum it all up, what would it be? What do you need to know to get you through the rest of your life in a better way?” This is a question (what do you need to remember to live a happy life?) many of us contemplate, but likely do so in passing rather than addressing it head-on as the author did. Berger states in the Introduction that she recognized how much of her life she’d “spent worrying about stuff or being nervous and insecure about stuff or not really enjoying the fullness and richness of” her life. This is more of a common complaint than, I believe, most of us would like to admit, and one we truly desire to resolve. (I love the mountain example in Chapter 8, and find it highly beneficial!)
In her candid, straightforward manner, Berger discusses how we resist what-is, whatever the what-is is in a moment (weather, an event, pain, health, relationships, finances, etc.), and how we tend to fight the reality of what-is nearly all the time, as well as how this resistance affects not only us but how we experience life. However, she makes a keen point that accepting what-is is not saying “yes” to everything and doing nothing; that it is not about passivity, but the opposite. There were certainly additional brilliant points made beside these two I’m about to share, but I love these: We more often than not don’t live our lives, but live our interpretations of our lives; we’re dancing with illusions. And, we let other people manipulate us with their uninvestigated codes of behavior.
Berger proposes that all of us can lead happy lives regardless of our situation, and then demonstrates how to accomplish this throughout the book. She asks how well we know ourselves, or if we’re afraid to do this, asks why; discusses our responsibility to ourselves and our right to exist; and how we can deal with the fear of criticism and choice with integrity. She shares that we can remember the wonder of our own existence; discusses common worries and stories we tell ourselves and how to transform them; and shares what she discovered real happiness and success is, and how clear and simple it actually is.
Berger reminds us that life is always a process that we’re in; that it’s about awakening our awareness so that we make appropriate choices for ourselves, and not focus on perfection, which is unrealistic. I give this book an all-thumbs-up; and as I said earlier, it’s one to read more than once.
April 21, 2014
What a question! Are you happy now? We want to put a nice face on ... smile ... and say yes. But so many times that is a mask that we put on to cover the fact that we are not happy … that we are perhaps even unhappy. “Are You Happy Now?” is a book of wisdom to be worked with, to be placed in our lives, to be made part of ourselves. Each of the ten ways is part of the path to a happy life.
The ten ways are:
Accept what is
Want what you have
Be honest with yourself
Investigate your stories
Mind your own business
Follow your passion and accept the consequences
Do the right thing and accept the consequences
Deal with what is in front of you and forget the rest
Know what is what
Learn to see beyond impermanence
That is a lot to digest! The message? Be authentic, and take responsibility for yourself. Not a bad message at all! In her introduction Berger tells us how this book came about – as an offshoot of her personal writing about what she needed to know to live her life in a better way. She was doing this to clear her own mind – the end result with her sharing this is that her readers have a way to clear their minds and lead a happier life!
We all worry, we all have insecurities. The deal is to get past that and lead a full life … a happy life. Each chapter deals with one of the ten ways to live a happy life. I love the very personal manner in which this book is written. Berger speaks from her own life experiences, with more than a touch of humor. When we can look at what we see going on in our own lives through the lens of another person’s life, we gain perspective. That is what this book is all about – perspective. One of the phrases that I find to be so true, referencing how we deal with life: “We muck it up by fighting the way of it.” In other words, we do not allow life to flow.
From the book:
“… when we drop our interpretation of events, we find that happiness is our nature.”
Unhappiness is only a thought in our mind. What a concept … and a true one! Berger presents a great caveat here – “Live in the present, do not project into the future” . She is specifically referencing dealing with pain, but this could be referencing anything that we are dealing with.
Berger talks about the stories that we tell ourselves, and the expectation that we put upon ourselves. The “What if …” and “I’ll be a success when …” that we run through our minds. Happiness is an internal thing, not an external thing. We are the only people that can make us happy or unhappy.
I found that each chapter in this book was very well written, and brought it’s point home in a manner that the reader could accept, and that allowed them to take a look at themselves in a non-judgmental manner. This book acts as a mirror to who we are at the soul level.
I love the epilogue – “Don’t believe what you think.” We suffer because we believe what we think … and what we think is our own perception of what is. Let go of that perception, and we see the “what is’ for what it really is.
At the end of the book is an exercise in writing down what you feel about each of the ten ways. This is a beginning … a beginning into moving your life into happiness. This book, and these exercises, are excellent tools of empowerment!
The ten ways are:
Accept what is
Want what you have
Be honest with yourself
Investigate your stories
Mind your own business
Follow your passion and accept the consequences
Do the right thing and accept the consequences
Deal with what is in front of you and forget the rest
Know what is what
Learn to see beyond impermanence
That is a lot to digest! The message? Be authentic, and take responsibility for yourself. Not a bad message at all! In her introduction Berger tells us how this book came about – as an offshoot of her personal writing about what she needed to know to live her life in a better way. She was doing this to clear her own mind – the end result with her sharing this is that her readers have a way to clear their minds and lead a happier life!
We all worry, we all have insecurities. The deal is to get past that and lead a full life … a happy life. Each chapter deals with one of the ten ways to live a happy life. I love the very personal manner in which this book is written. Berger speaks from her own life experiences, with more than a touch of humor. When we can look at what we see going on in our own lives through the lens of another person’s life, we gain perspective. That is what this book is all about – perspective. One of the phrases that I find to be so true, referencing how we deal with life: “We muck it up by fighting the way of it.” In other words, we do not allow life to flow.
From the book:
“… when we drop our interpretation of events, we find that happiness is our nature.”
Unhappiness is only a thought in our mind. What a concept … and a true one! Berger presents a great caveat here – “Live in the present, do not project into the future” . She is specifically referencing dealing with pain, but this could be referencing anything that we are dealing with.
Berger talks about the stories that we tell ourselves, and the expectation that we put upon ourselves. The “What if …” and “I’ll be a success when …” that we run through our minds. Happiness is an internal thing, not an external thing. We are the only people that can make us happy or unhappy.
I found that each chapter in this book was very well written, and brought it’s point home in a manner that the reader could accept, and that allowed them to take a look at themselves in a non-judgmental manner. This book acts as a mirror to who we are at the soul level.
I love the epilogue – “Don’t believe what you think.” We suffer because we believe what we think … and what we think is our own perception of what is. Let go of that perception, and we see the “what is’ for what it really is.
At the end of the book is an exercise in writing down what you feel about each of the ten ways. This is a beginning … a beginning into moving your life into happiness. This book, and these exercises, are excellent tools of empowerment!
April 21, 2014
This is not another Law of Attraction cookie cutter self help book. This is refreshing, down to earth advice about how to make small changes that will ultimately add up to being happy. I enjoyed the candid way Barbara Berger brings her message to us in this book.
June 4, 2015
Won this Through Goodreads First Read.
This book will give all who read it a lot to think about. Well written and easy to follow. Will be re-reading this book many times I think.
This book will give all who read it a lot to think about. Well written and easy to follow. Will be re-reading this book many times I think.
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