Connecting Through "Yes!": How to Agree When You Don't Agree to Get Cooperation and Closeness in Your Marriage

by Jack Ito

This book shows how to use agreement to transform the biggest areas of marital conflict into closeness, cooperation, and mutually desirable outcomes. Licensed psychologist, marriage, and relationship coach Jack Ito PhD illustrates with clear, easy to follow examples, how to communicate about the biggest problems that couples face.

These are the same techniques his coaching clients use to stop divorces, end affairs, deal with addicted spouses, solve problems, end blaming, improve dating, handle money issues, parent cooperatively, get out of debt, and more.

This book is unique in offering communication training to couples when one spouse (or significant other) is not ready or willing to work on the relationship.

Genres: Self Help

292 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2013

Reviews

[Larry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Find some part of what your partner is saying to agree with.
Have boundaries. Zero tolerance for verbal abuse.
Use the problem solving method. On paper:

Brainstorm at least 5 ideas.
Write down advantages and disadvantages of each idea.
Choose a #1 plan and a #2 backup plan.

The rest of the book is applying this method in specific cases such as finances, parenting, separation and divorce, substance abuse, affairs.
About a third of the way through the book, author quotes scripture. By the end, it's pretty clear he is a Christian.

[Chen Zhao · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book and Jack Ito’s work in general offers a really transformative approach to relationships.

His strategies of connecting through agreement not only makes wonderful theoretical sense, on a practical level, they truly work… if only I could implement this consistently in my daily life!

[Lillian Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book if you aren't getting what you want out of important conversations and relationships. Lots of practical advice, easy to follow.

[Susannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Targeted, straightforward, practical advice for communicating well with one's spouse. This comes complete with scripts tailored for typical contexts in which couples disagree.

[Jill Leach · Rating 5 out of 5]

Connecting Through Yes is just an excellent book on communication. It is targeted at couples in romantic relationships, but you can easily translate the tools taught to all areas of communication, particularly in difficult situations.

It's not just got great content, but it's also very well laid out, concise, and practical. The author outlines specific examples of dialogue to illustrate his points.

If there is any relationship you have that struggles with communication, do not hesitate. Buy this book and enjoy a better relationship with better communication.

[Stacy-Ann Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, excellent book

This book is so intense and so practical. If you've ever read a book with only filler you'll never read one again after this. From the very first chapter there was specific info on using the advice in this book. Never vague, clear cut advice and techniques. Thank you.

[Phani Kumar]

i want to read once it is done i can give review

[Eric George · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good tips on agreement, boundaries, problem solving and walking away :)