What do you think?
Rate this book


402 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 20, 2023
“everybody dies, kolyuchka.”
“not you. you have to live. i command it.”
“i can’t live forever.”
“then live until i allow you to die.”
he watches me in silence for a long time. then he drops to his knees, startling me, and he bows his head in front of me, resting his forehead against my thighs. “until you allow me to die, then. i swear it.”
“Then live until I allow you to die.”
He watches me in silence for a long time. Then he drops to his knees, startling me, and he bows his head in front of me, resting his forehead against my thighs.
“Until you allow me to die, then. I swear it.”
"You make me happy, I want to tell her. My beautiful rose, my thorny saviour. You make me happy because you’re the place where I feel most safe and most loved. And one day, I’m going to marry you"
“I weep because of Iakov, not just his face, or how rough his voice sounds, and not even because whatever Iakov just went through, he still made sure to come home with a sweet treat for me.”#I would have thrown myself at his feet and wept for those sweet treats.
“I bury myself between her legs, delve deep with my tongue, let her grind herself on my wet face, which should never be anything more than a tool for her pleasure.”not even gonna comment on this let's move on.
“I follow her obediently—don’t I always? Am I not devoted to her, abjectly obedient, her dog to command and mistreat and reward as she pleases?”forget what you know about poetry.
“If God let me have Iakov, I would spend the rest of my life trying to deserve him.”
“I swear to myself to lavish so much love upon Iakov Kavinski that he won’t know what to do with it. And I swear to myself to make him smile and laugh. I’ve always been so obsessed with being loved, being happy. None of it has even been as important as this. Making sure Iakov is loved, making sure Iakov is happy.”
“I like your thorns, though. And roses without thorns are weaker. They die faster.”
“You’re just saying that,” she says with a huff of tearful laughter.
“No. It’s true. Look it up.”
“You’re a botanist now?”
“I have to be. My girl loves plants.”
“Why should I not want him? He’s the only person in the world who sees me for who I am and still wants me. So why can’t I want him back? Why can’t I have him?”
“Yes, you've been thorny, and you've scratched me. You've scratched hard, Kolyuchka, but you've never hurt me.” I swipe my thumb across her lips, wiping away the tears. “I don't think you even really wanted to hurt me. Probably because you love me or something.”