Integrative Parenting: Strategies for Raising Children Affected by Attachment Trauma

by Debra Wesselmann, Cathy Schweitzer, Stefanie Armstrong

An accompanying parent’s guide filled with effective techniques to help challenging children with traumatic pasts. Designed as a manual to complement the clinician’s guide, ,  this book is written for birth, foster, or adoptive parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents, or anyone who may be raising a child who has experienced attachment loss and trauma. Their severe behaviors can often leave caregivers feeling confused, frightened, hurt, and overwhelmed, as they struggle to make sense of a massive amount of information―and misinformation―that exists on attachment issues.

This book provides understanding, validation, and solutions for these caregivers. In it, the authors explain their innovative model of “team” treatment that includes an EMDR therapist and a family therapist. Best used in conjunction with therapeutic help, it walks readers through an array of parenting strategies that will lead them to a deeper understanding of their traumatized child, and better enable them to calm their behavior and improve their attachment security so they can heal. 7 illustrations

Genres: Parenting, Adoption

160 pages, Paperback

First published February 24, 2014

Reviews

[Lynn Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book for parents with children who are victims of trauma. We have two adopted sons (both 9, 7 months apart, about to enter 3rd grade). One was a victim of trauma. We adopted him a year ago and we have been struggling with a lot of his behaviors. I really wish we had this book a year or year and a half ago when he first arrived in our home. I almost feel guilty for the way I have parented him as it has been all wrong. But the important thing is not feeling guilt over what has been done but finding a better way which will improve things moving forward. This is a good complement to the therapy he is currently receiving. The book isn't long (170 pages) and is easily read in a day or two. It is very easy to read and understand. My wife read it before me. I look forward now to going back and reading it a second time, with my wife, and discussing how we can implement and use the strategies discussed in the book. I think all foster and adoptive parents should read this book because most foster/adopted children have suffered one type of trauma or another in their past. These children may appear to be "normal" but you just cannot parent a trauma child the same way you can one which has not experienced trauma. I am thankful to better understand that through this book.

[Roderick · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are parenting or co-parenting a child suffering from a history of adverse experiences, then this should be the first book you read. If you are parenting and you had adverse childhood experiences, then this book is for you too. This is my first reference resource for the families I counsel and support. Even non-book lovers love this work. It can be read chronologically or jump in where you're attracted, either way it will be on your shelf until your grandchildren become parents.

[Emily Brooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super practical book written without lots of jargon or a preachy tone. It still includes the brain physiology component, and is consistently positive. The copy at my kid's trauma therapist's office is dog-eared and highlighted and well-loved in other ways. I highly recommend this short read to anyone caring for a child with attachment trauma.

[Paige Beaty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easily the most helpful, practical, and accessible book I’ve read on parenting trauma kiddos. Highly recommend to anyone parenting children with hard pasts.

[Taylor McCarthy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm so glad I read this book. It was recommended by a coworker, and I will be recommending to caregivers. It is easy to read, has clear examples and guidance, and is using evidence based approaches.

[Jonelle Tiffany Boulter · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me by my son's therapist. I read bits and pieces last year and some this year for his Summer program.
There is a lot of scientific findings regarding the brain, growth, and learning how to adequately discipline in a delicate approach.
My child has struggled in many areas, but sometimes I have to roll my eyes at this book. Like, wake up... the parents are human too and have their own triggers. Parenting is taxing, and pulls at all your emotions and sometimes you can do the best you can, and still don't get it right.

Parental Warning: this is only for parents or those thinking of parenting kids with attachment trauma. Some of it can be useful for a typical kid, but these "kid glove" delicate techniques are for those already traumatized. (That's my opinion).

[Susan Armstrong · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book I've read on supporting traumatized kids. Easy to read. Covers wide range of challenging behaviors. Provides sample dialogues to have with kids. If you are in this situation, read this book. It is designed for caregivers,but would be a good read for any support person.

[Kirsta Scranton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book and has helped me understand the behaviors of my foster kiddos.

[Apzmarshl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really found this book helpful. I've read many others, but this seemed to integrate them (including their quotes, such as Dan Siegle and Tina Bryson) concisely enough that my emotionally overwhelmed brain felt capable of using the suggestions.
Parenting a traumatized child is a continual struggle. Tools are absolutely necessary or you will become triggered by what amounts to their abusive behaviour. Tools help you feel like you have knowledge and power to be proactive.