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Belonging Matters: Conversations on Adoption, Family, and Kinship
Belonging Matters supports the adoption community while creating a conversation with those not directly touched by adoption. The collection explores the pursuit of identity and the boundaries of family and kinship. It challenges the reader to embrace all of who we come to be, and to discern with whom and where we belong. Because belonging defines the human experience, and it is what nourishes our spirit, fuels us with purpose, and compels us to soar beyond the limitations of our lived experience.
- GenresAdoptionInspirational
280 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 1, 2023
About the author
Julie Ryan McGue
5 books58 followersJULIE RYAN Mc GUE is an American writer. Her award-winning memoir, Twice a Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, and Belonging released in May 2021. It is about the five-year search that she and her twin sister undertook to find their birth relatives. On her weekly blog, “That Girl This Life,” Julie writes about finding out who you are, where you come from, and making sense of it. Her work has appeared in the Story Circle Network Journal, Brevity, Imprint, Adoption.com, Lifetime Adoption, Adoption & Beyond, and Severance Magazine. Personal essays appear in several anthologies: REAL WOMEN WRITE: Seeing Through Her Eyes, and Art in the Time of Unbearable Crisis.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
January 2, 2024
Belonging Matters: Conversations on Adoption, Family, and Kinship is a deeply stirring memoir of a domestic adoptee, Julie Ryan McGue, and her quest for historical details of her long-lost family.
McGue and her twin sister were adopted from St. Vincent’s Orphanage, Chicago, at three weeks of age. This was during the Baby Scoop Era in the early 1970s when birth mothers were not involved in the adoption process. In those days, McGue's biological mother had been forced to give them up for adoption because she was forbidden by her religion from marrying their father, who was a non-Catholic. After their birth, she never got the chance to hold her children and was quickly rushed into signing the relinquishment papers. From that moment on, it was official: she was prohibited from all future contact with the newborns.
For a long time, McGue considered herself to have been given up because her sense of origin and identity had been snapped off by the harshness of closed adoption. This, however, began to change in her forties when her twin sister joined her in a quest for their original family's health history. The search was triggered by McGue's diagnosis of breast cancer during one of her routine checkups. Months later, not only was she able to uncover crucial information about a genetic pattern, but she was also able to make contact with her biological mother. A detailed explanation of the events surrounding their birth and adoption was the first thing she yearned for, but little did she know that the search was going to get more complicated by the day.
In Belonging Matters, McGue exhaustively captured her life as an adoptee and the numerous challenges she went through, such as rejection by a close family member. She has offered practical advice to thousands of adoptees on how they can overcome the fear of researching who they are and where they come from. Her persistence and resilience are remarkable and undeniably prove that the puzzles known to lead adoptees to mental instability could be overcome.
It was an excellent idea for McGue to include a second section where she describes various birth parents' predicaments. Listening to her birth mother helped her understand issues such as grief and guilt and how they affected her lifestyle, attitude, and behavior. Illuminating knowledge of the disadvantages of closed adoption, such as identity confusion, fear, and limited medical history, forms the basis of this text. Readers will appreciate the author's brilliance in articulating these themes and then backing them up with solid first-hand encounters. Belonging Matters: Conversations on Adoption, Family, and Kinship is a realistic resource that will bring encouragement to anyone who has ever felt abandoned. The author has offered honest explanations that aim at making an adoptee feel less alone and more normal in how they feel.
Quill says: Written in a simple-to-understand manner, Belonging Matters: Conversations on Adoption, Family, and Kinship is a must-read for everyone who has found themselves caught up in the adoption triangle.
McGue and her twin sister were adopted from St. Vincent’s Orphanage, Chicago, at three weeks of age. This was during the Baby Scoop Era in the early 1970s when birth mothers were not involved in the adoption process. In those days, McGue's biological mother had been forced to give them up for adoption because she was forbidden by her religion from marrying their father, who was a non-Catholic. After their birth, she never got the chance to hold her children and was quickly rushed into signing the relinquishment papers. From that moment on, it was official: she was prohibited from all future contact with the newborns.
For a long time, McGue considered herself to have been given up because her sense of origin and identity had been snapped off by the harshness of closed adoption. This, however, began to change in her forties when her twin sister joined her in a quest for their original family's health history. The search was triggered by McGue's diagnosis of breast cancer during one of her routine checkups. Months later, not only was she able to uncover crucial information about a genetic pattern, but she was also able to make contact with her biological mother. A detailed explanation of the events surrounding their birth and adoption was the first thing she yearned for, but little did she know that the search was going to get more complicated by the day.
In Belonging Matters, McGue exhaustively captured her life as an adoptee and the numerous challenges she went through, such as rejection by a close family member. She has offered practical advice to thousands of adoptees on how they can overcome the fear of researching who they are and where they come from. Her persistence and resilience are remarkable and undeniably prove that the puzzles known to lead adoptees to mental instability could be overcome.
It was an excellent idea for McGue to include a second section where she describes various birth parents' predicaments. Listening to her birth mother helped her understand issues such as grief and guilt and how they affected her lifestyle, attitude, and behavior. Illuminating knowledge of the disadvantages of closed adoption, such as identity confusion, fear, and limited medical history, forms the basis of this text. Readers will appreciate the author's brilliance in articulating these themes and then backing them up with solid first-hand encounters. Belonging Matters: Conversations on Adoption, Family, and Kinship is a realistic resource that will bring encouragement to anyone who has ever felt abandoned. The author has offered honest explanations that aim at making an adoptee feel less alone and more normal in how they feel.
Quill says: Written in a simple-to-understand manner, Belonging Matters: Conversations on Adoption, Family, and Kinship is a must-read for everyone who has found themselves caught up in the adoption triangle.
February 7, 2024
Julie's story, as chronicled in Belonging Matters, is a poignant exploration of identity and belonging from an adoptee's perspective. Growing up aware of her adoption alongside her twin, Julie's narrative delves into the complex emotions surrounding her upbringing in a loving adoptive family, juxtaposed with an innate curiosity about her biological roots. The book effectively conveys the challenges adoptees often face in forging connections with their adoptive relatives, capturing the subtle sense of being an outsider at family gatherings. The author skillfully guides readers through Julie's internal journey, marked by anxiety and a quest for self-understanding brought on by the need to uncover her genetic history for health reasons. This quest leads her to her birth mother, raising questions of abandonment, the desire for connection, and the complexities of familial relationships.
This book's candid exploration of adoption and the accompanying emotional landscape makes it particularly engaging. It sheds light on the nuances of adoption, addressing the often-overlooked stigma associated with it. The author's openness in sharing her emotional experiences is commendable, offering readers a raw and honest perspective. Additionally, the book highlights the unique bond between Julie and her twin, adding a fascinating dimension to her journey. The author also acknowledges the role of the Catholic community in their adoption process, particularly their policy of keeping twins together, which is a thoughtful inclusion.
Belonging Matters is not just for those who have experienced adoption firsthand. It resonates with anyone who has ever felt a sense of disconnection from their family or questioned their background. The story is a testament to the power of self-discovery and the courage it takes to seek out one's origins. Readers looking for inspiration to embark on their own journeys of self-exploration will find this book both motivating and insightful.
This book's candid exploration of adoption and the accompanying emotional landscape makes it particularly engaging. It sheds light on the nuances of adoption, addressing the often-overlooked stigma associated with it. The author's openness in sharing her emotional experiences is commendable, offering readers a raw and honest perspective. Additionally, the book highlights the unique bond between Julie and her twin, adding a fascinating dimension to her journey. The author also acknowledges the role of the Catholic community in their adoption process, particularly their policy of keeping twins together, which is a thoughtful inclusion.
Belonging Matters is not just for those who have experienced adoption firsthand. It resonates with anyone who has ever felt a sense of disconnection from their family or questioned their background. The story is a testament to the power of self-discovery and the courage it takes to seek out one's origins. Readers looking for inspiration to embark on their own journeys of self-exploration will find this book both motivating and insightful.
December 19, 2023
The author of this article collection, Julie Ryan McGue, had grown up knowing that she and her twin sister were adopted. Although she had pondered the obvious questions raised by this, it was not until her late forties that she decided to track down her biological parents for medical reasons. She eventually succeeded, and even developed a relationship with her birth mother as well as some of her half-siblings. She recorded her journey in her first book, Twice a Daughter, launching a later-life writing career. In this book, she has compiled several articles relating to adoption, family, writing, and other aspects of her life.
While most of the themes that McGue touches on are not especially relevant for my life, I still found them compelling. Being an only child of my biological parents, I had not idea what it would be like to be adopted or to have siblings, much less a twin. McGue's personal perspective was fascinating to read about, and opened my eyes to a point of view I had never considered before. She is careful to stress that she is relating her search for her birth parents as it unfolded for her, and that her reflections are not meant to apply to everyone in that position.
Overall, I would recommend this book, especially if you are someone to whom the subject matter has personal relevance. Because much of the material consists of previously published essays, it can come across as a bit choppy at points. However, it touches deftly on several important themes surrounding the life journey of adoptees, and does so in a relatable and interesting way.
While most of the themes that McGue touches on are not especially relevant for my life, I still found them compelling. Being an only child of my biological parents, I had not idea what it would be like to be adopted or to have siblings, much less a twin. McGue's personal perspective was fascinating to read about, and opened my eyes to a point of view I had never considered before. She is careful to stress that she is relating her search for her birth parents as it unfolded for her, and that her reflections are not meant to apply to everyone in that position.
Overall, I would recommend this book, especially if you are someone to whom the subject matter has personal relevance. Because much of the material consists of previously published essays, it can come across as a bit choppy at points. However, it touches deftly on several important themes surrounding the life journey of adoptees, and does so in a relatable and interesting way.
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July 2, 2026What stayed with me after reading *Belonging Matters* was its insistence that belonging is not something defined solely by biology or legal relationships. Instead, the collection explores belonging as an evolving experience shaped by identity, family, memory, and the people who help us understand where we fit.
I appreciated the conversational structure, which allows different reflections on adoption and kinship to build upon one another rather than forcing a single conclusion. Throughout the book, there is a thoughtful balance between personal experience and broader questions about what makes a family. Rather than presenting adoption through one perspective, the essays invite readers to consider the many emotional layers involved in identity, connection, and acceptance with honesty and compassion.
This collection will resonate with adoptees, adoptive families, birth families, counselors, and readers interested in memoir and reflective nonfiction. The lasting impression is that belonging is rarely something we discover all at once. It is something we continue to shape through understanding ourselves and the relationships that give our lives meaning.
I appreciated the conversational structure, which allows different reflections on adoption and kinship to build upon one another rather than forcing a single conclusion. Throughout the book, there is a thoughtful balance between personal experience and broader questions about what makes a family. Rather than presenting adoption through one perspective, the essays invite readers to consider the many emotional layers involved in identity, connection, and acceptance with honesty and compassion.
This collection will resonate with adoptees, adoptive families, birth families, counselors, and readers interested in memoir and reflective nonfiction. The lasting impression is that belonging is rarely something we discover all at once. It is something we continue to shape through understanding ourselves and the relationships that give our lives meaning.
December 18, 2023
While I am not adopted nor a twin, I found myself deeply drawn to the author's essays in this book. Though there is some overlapping as you read through each short essay, you really get a sense of what it was like for Julie, not only learning she was adopted but also the struggles she went through pertaining to her health matters.
Each essay looks at either life as a twin, life as an adoptee, or life trying to figure out your history to keep yourself alive -- the battle, the struggle -- but Julie goes through these things with her head held high, as you can read in her words. And, even when she finds the answers, there are more questions.
If you are curious about the world of closed adoptions and what people go through with them, I highly recommend this book. It's a touching tale that will make you think, and perhaps even cry a little.
Each essay looks at either life as a twin, life as an adoptee, or life trying to figure out your history to keep yourself alive -- the battle, the struggle -- but Julie goes through these things with her head held high, as you can read in her words. And, even when she finds the answers, there are more questions.
If you are curious about the world of closed adoptions and what people go through with them, I highly recommend this book. It's a touching tale that will make you think, and perhaps even cry a little.
December 4, 2023
Being that my girlfriend is adopted, the topic strikes a chord with me, and really hits home. Author Julie McGue utilizes her unique perspective to explore the true meaning of family, belonging, and love. This is an relatively easy read, as you do not necessarily have to read in order. Each chapter is a stand-alone passage, brimming with vibes of encouragement and positivity. I am sure that I will find myself coming back to this masterpiece time and time again! I have already suggested it to my girlfriend and her family!
February 8, 2025
This was a thoughtful and eye opening read that explores adoption, family, and kinship through a series of personal stories and conversations. The book brings together voices from adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents, offering a wide range of perspectives on identity, loss, love, and belonging. I really appreciated how it tackled both the challenges and the beauty of adoption with honesty and depth. It made me think more about what truly defines family and connection. A great read for anyone interested in the complexities of adoption and what it means to belong.
March 31, 2025
This was a hard book for me as I was adopted only to find out not finalized til I was 25 in a closed state. I was given the opportunity to find my birth parents,not meeting but finding them, and as this book states, it's difficult due to contemplate why and the what medical needs are wanted. I loved this book and will reread it often. This it a tool all adopters need and I even feel the birth parents should read this as well. Thanks, goodreads and author for this chance.
December 22, 2024
❤️💯❤️💯❤️
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Want to Read
July 6, 2026Won in the Universal by Design America 250 4th of July giveaway.
August 6, 2023
In her book Belonging Matters, Julie Ryan McGee records her experience as an adoptee during the Baby Scoop Era. After a breast biopsy, questions about her health history prompted her on a journey to locate her birth parents. The information she and her twin sister discovered was beneficial, but she still lacked a true bond with her biological family. She speaks about the emotional difficulties and points to the adoption process during the middle of the twentieth century as a deterrent to healthy mental and emotional growth for adoptees. Additionally, McGee brings to light the stressors of beginning the search for biological relatives and the disappointment adoptees can face, even if biological families respond to their requests.
Julie Ryan McGee has a story that relates to millions of people in America, and her work is certain to start many conversations. Adoptees who enter a loving home are left with a rainbow of questions and feel an array of emotions about their biological family and their reasons for choosing adoption. McGee’s writings provide a link to other adoptees, giving them a sense of belonging, as her story reflects the circumstances of scores of adults who have been adopted. The author’s book is heartbreaking and outlines many social constructs most people take for granted, like feelings of connection at family reunions and holidays. Her views are the result of serious introspection and observation and are worthy of conscious evaluation. Belonging Matters is a great selection for an adoptee or a family member of an adoptee.
Julie Ryan McGee has a story that relates to millions of people in America, and her work is certain to start many conversations. Adoptees who enter a loving home are left with a rainbow of questions and feel an array of emotions about their biological family and their reasons for choosing adoption. McGee’s writings provide a link to other adoptees, giving them a sense of belonging, as her story reflects the circumstances of scores of adults who have been adopted. The author’s book is heartbreaking and outlines many social constructs most people take for granted, like feelings of connection at family reunions and holidays. Her views are the result of serious introspection and observation and are worthy of conscious evaluation. Belonging Matters is a great selection for an adoptee or a family member of an adoptee.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews