The Laughing Policeman: My Brilliant Career in the New Zealand Police

by Glenn Wood

This is a re-edited version of the best selling book The Laughing Policeman. It has been edited by the author as an ebook and some new content has been added.

Genres: Autobiography, Memoir, Humor, Crime, Nonfiction, Biography

257 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1998

About the author

Hi. I'm Glenn Wood but then you already know that because you've come to my page. I'm a freelance writer with five published books - Two about my misadventures in the Police and three children's books - The Brain Sucker, The Bully Chip and Deadhead. I surf. I like dogs, and cats, Hell, let's just include the whole animal kingdom and be done with it (except those monkeys with the red butts, they're just plain weird).

For more of my writing see my substack.

glennw.substack.com

Reviews

[Majenta · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.75 big blue stars!

[Haldoor42 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this in one day - it felt like stepping back in time for me personally because the author is talking about a time when I was only a year or two younger than him and in my own country. He certainly has a way of telling stories, and his humour is very typically Kiwi. I love how easy it was to relate to, even though I've never done anything quite like it myself. The universal story of comradeship and doing something you feel is right but having to deal with people who bend things to suit themselves and rules that don't make sense along the way, as well as all the good people and things that helped, is one anybody can empathise with. A jolly good read, although the abrupt ending just left me wanting more. I'm assuming there's another book and will have to look out for it.

[Betty · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've noticed when I'm trying to find a movie to watch that comedies are never rated highly. It's just hard to get a whole lot of people to agree that something is funny. This book is funny as far as I'm concerned. It's a PG Woodhouse type of humor where almost everything goes wrong, sometimes because the hero isn't invested in a smooth and obstacle free course.

See if these lines don't at least bring a smile to your face.

My idea of a good sunrise is one that doesn't involve me.

Hitting the water was like being slapped in the genitals with a frozen trout.

I had been 19 for a month and seven days when I became a sworn-in member of the New Zealand Police. I wasn’t allowed to see R20 movies, I couldn’t drink in a pub by myself and I was still two years away from receiving the key to adulthood on my 21st birthday. I could, however, take away your car keys, your drugs, your money, your property, your right to work, your standing in the community and your freedom.

This is not fiction. Wood is self-deprecating at all turns and is able to recall this period of his life with the kind of subdued shock that he worked so hard to keep his parents and commanding officers from experiencing at the time. It's relatable and personal. I greatly enjoyed the read.

[Stefani Akins · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really want to give this book five stars for content. It is sweet, funny, and even touching, so you'll likely breeze right through it like I did. However, there are several misspellings, paragraphs where for no discernible reason the font is a third of its normal size, not to mention quite number of freely mingling apostrophes where there should be none. As I frequently and with much sarcasm point out, editing does indeed appear to be a dying art, and yet I expect it to be applied to publications that someone is hoping to sell for profit. If you are not easily irritated by hiccups like these, the story of how 17-year-old Glenn Wood joined the New Zealand Police and his adventures while doing so might be a fun read for you.

[Glenn Wood · Rating 5 out of 5]

I admit to being biased as I wrote the book. It is the first one I've written and I'm very pleased with it. It's a very personal account so it may not appeal to some people but I'm hoping the humour translates to most markets. Don't read it if you are looking for something literary but if you want something warm and funny with some interesting insights into Police Training in New Zealand then this book's for you. I hope you enjoy it.

[Coleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was curious about this book because my grandfather, whom I'd never met, had been the chief of police of the Auckland Police Department when my mother was growing up. I found it funny and entertaining and I look forward to the follow-up book, Cop Out.

[Kathy Cohen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, engaging tale (and true!) of a New Zealand police cadet. Wood isn't afraid to make fun of himself here. (As an aside--makes me want to see New Zealand).

[J.P. Willson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review to follow...

[Michele · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is exactly what I needed to get me to the end of the school year.

[Ralph · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first picked up this book, I expected a rather dry, yet interesting account of a life in law enforcement in New Zealand, much as Chester Porter's autobiography was an account of a life in Australia's legal system. I quite forgot that "brilliant" has a particular meaning in the Queen's English, very often with a snarky twist. During the course of this book, Glenn Wood proves himself quite snarky, often wonkey and at times even a bit gonzo. It is one of the funniest books I have ever read, eliciting from me quiet chuckles, not-so-quiet guffaws, and even peals of laughter accompanied by tears. I frequently annoyed the Wife with my outbursts, and annoyed She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed even further by sharing aloud the bit that amused me...well, at least the ones not too profane for mixed company. She laughed too.

Woods has a deft touch when it comes to relating the events of his life in an absurd and absorbing manner. He begins with his life just before deciding to join the police and ends with his starting out as a working police officer, but he majority of the book is occupied by his quasi-military and usually harrowing training period as a police cadet. Though the narrative is not quite in the same vein as the "Police Academy" films, he nonetheless manages to portray himself and his fellow cadets and instructors (all whom you get to know quite well) as if they were players in a Ritz Brothers' film, with the film written and directed by the inmates of Bedlam. The lengthy periods of hilarity are tempered now and then with moments of deep feeling and insight. The vocabulary is not American English, of course, but the humor transcends national and cultural divides.

[Angie Boyter]

My Kindle Lending Library book for the month.
It has a nice pleasant conversational style, but I only read the first 20% and decided it wasn't really what I was looking for. The police academy reminded me of a boot camp, and I just was not enjoying what went on. My impression of Aussies has generally been that they are a bit on the rough-and-ready side; apparently Kiwis are, too.
I think a lot of people would enjoy this book, but I have a lot on my pile that I think are better-suited for my taste.

[Sandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a free ebook from Amazon and it looked humorous, so, what the heck … It was just OK. It was 90 percent focused on young Wood's experience leading up to and including the police academy. It ended soon after he was hired as a 19-year-old police officer and only at the end of the book I found out that it was part of a series, with the next one focusing on events in his new career. I didn't like it enough to read the second, but it had some funny moments.

[Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Flat-out hilarious. The author recounts his experience as an 18 year old police cadet in New Zealand in 1980. Lots of laugh out loud moments. He is self deprecating and readily admits to all his bumbling short comings. The academy sounded like a cross between a frat house and a vicious army boot camp. I'd love to meet this guy. Can hardly wait to read the follow-up book about his years actually on the force.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the book -- however, the title is misleading. 99% of the book was about the author training for the police. The experiences he related were great, I really enjoyed it. However, I would have liked a little more about his experiences when he actually joined a police force. There was a little there, but not much.

Good book, I would recommend it.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was hilarious. The guy has a terrific ability to see his younger self for what he was and still dare to admit it! I laughed all the way through, even though I cannot relate to an older guy from NZ who was a cop when he was young. One doesn't have to relate, because he has the special talent of bringing you along with him in his storytelling.

[Nel Lombardo · Rating 1 out of 5]

Boreing

I was so disappointed with this read. I was expecting some great funny and interesting stories on the beat. Instead I got a book about why not to become a cop, sexual exploits of a young man and what to do and not to do at police training school. Sorry but this all just so lack lustre I could barely wait till I got to the end.

[Lynette · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this, good for a laugh or two. What mainly attracted me was the fact that Glenn came from New Plymouth (which is pretty close to where I live) and being a New Zealand story. Very different from the type of book I usually read but an enjoyable way to pass a lazy day or two after Christmas. Looking forward to starting the sequel.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is a funny book and gives a nice insight into New Zealand's police training. Still, I was disappointed that the book just finished when the author starts his real job after training. Still, a nice and quick read.

[Shanna Davis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not a funny book.

The title was a bit misleading for me. I did learn a few things about the New Zealand police. I was expecting more funny stories. I wasn't impressed enough to read the follow up book.

[Rita Allen · Rating 3 out of 5]

The laughing POLICEMAN

Not as funny as reviews lead me to believe but had me smiling in places. If not a monthly rental probably wouldn't have finished it.

[Sashankh Kale · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun read; witty with quite a few laugh-out-loud portions.

Shall get to the second part Cop-Out some time later.

[Jane · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too bad about the writing here. Otherwise am amusing bit of biography with some great turns of phrase, but utterly lacking in polish or style.

[Caffeinated Weka · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really entertaining memoir of the author’s journey while training to join the New Zealand Police and the earliest days of his career. It’s full of humorous tall tales but also some moments that run much deeper than the lighthearted narrative suggests. There is a large unedited section in the second half where the typos and grammatical errors becomes distracting at times but otherwise it’s an easy and enjoyable read.

[Priscilla Bruce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book and brilliantly written. I laughed out loud all the way through. A great story and I highly recommended. Can’t wait to read his next book. Thanks for the story and laughs😁

[Sonia]

Delightful book had me laughing out loud and reaching for the sequel, Cop Out - The End Of My Brilliant Career In The NZ Police (The Laughing Policeman Series Book 2)

[Stephen Tubbs · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some concerns at times from a taxpayer's point of view but overall it was entertaining.

[Lynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Glenn joined the New Zealand Police when he was 18. This is the story of his year of training. I loved out loud several times.

[Terri McClean · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's funny, which is what this book was meant to be. I did enjoy reading his journey. So why the 3 stars instead of 4 or 5...Well I am not a fan of books that have no proper ending ....a book that ends with you deciding on it.such as G M Fords last book is different than one that just abruptly ends(even though GMFords drove me crazy,lol). This is in my own opinion why it lost a star.Is it brilliant writing, no it's not so there went another star. NOW why the 3 stars..Its a good fun read that can make you chuckle. The peek into his life is interesting enough to make you keep reading. This is a perfect book to give as a gift to anyone thinking of entering the police force regardless of country. His exploits as a teen , will make you think back on yours with a lighter mood. I will also probably remember it enough to read the next book when it comes out. Considering the amount of books I read that in it self is a minor miracle. ( ok after thinking that fact over I gave it another star, only because there are so many books I can't remember) . Overall, go read it.