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Wife for Life: The Power to Succeed in Marriage
Winner Kirkus Indie Reader Discovery Awards, Reader's Favorite International Book Awards, Indie Excellence Book Awards, and USA Best Books Awards. In a marketplace full of relationship books that range from clinical to sensational, Ramona Zabriskie's Wife for Life, The Power to Succeed in Marriage stands out for its sympathetic, elegant wisdom. Written in a warm, feminine tone, this book masterfully interlaces authoritative voices with personal stories from the author's 38-year marriage and her motivational speaking and mentoring career. Nearly divorced two years after her own wedding, the author has become an advocate and exemplar of marital success for women who want to believe. Her compassion and know-how, uniquely presented in three "Why You Both Want a Grand, Lifelong Marriage", "How to Avoid Becoming a Dream Breaker", and "What to Do to Make Dreams Come True", is proving transformative. Inspired by new perspective, women from every stage of life and marital status are gaining the skills, confidence, and long-range vision needed to affect their own happiness as well as the ultimate outcome of their marriage. Wife for Life has helped women turn troubled marriages around, transform good marriages into great ones, and grow great marriages into "grand empires of love" that can last forever.
325 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 30, 2013
66 people are currently reading
291 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
September 21, 2016
I thought this book had some great points and reminders to anyone who is married, getting married, trying to prepare for marriage, or struggling with getting along with their partner.
I enjoyed the stories that helped bring the whole purpose to focus and understanding, I enjoyed the break down in sections and points.
I posted a picture of this book on Facebook and had a friend (not married) tell me that they read it after seeing the picture she was interested and read it and LOVED IT! She then later told me that she liked it so much that she told some of her other friends to read it!
It's a quick and easy way to remind ourselves as women who we are in our roles along side our spouse and how we can help build the relationship as we understand our role and who men are in general. It clarifies truth versus myth which is a great thing in todays world of living off so much stigma and tradition.
Overall if you need a better understanding of how to be a better person in your marriage then this would be a great read.
I enjoyed the stories that helped bring the whole purpose to focus and understanding, I enjoyed the break down in sections and points.
I posted a picture of this book on Facebook and had a friend (not married) tell me that they read it after seeing the picture she was interested and read it and LOVED IT! She then later told me that she liked it so much that she told some of her other friends to read it!
It's a quick and easy way to remind ourselves as women who we are in our roles along side our spouse and how we can help build the relationship as we understand our role and who men are in general. It clarifies truth versus myth which is a great thing in todays world of living off so much stigma and tradition.
Overall if you need a better understanding of how to be a better person in your marriage then this would be a great read.
April 16, 2015
An empowering read! With stories and examples, an extensive amount of marriage research, and her own enthusiasm for empowering women, Ramona focuses on the positive opportunities of being a modern day woman. She raises the bar for marriage higher than any other marriage book on the market, and gives you the education and hope to achieve this kind of marriage yourself. I'm a Marriage, Family, Human Development graduate from BYU and I've read several marriage books. This is BY FAR the best. I'm so impressed with the amount of time and research Ramona put into writing it and preparing to write it. And I love hearing her own voice in the audiobook as she reads it with so much energy and passion. I feel uplifted and encouraged (unlike the beating I felt I received from Dr. Laura's book, which I did like, mostly, but could only handle reading a chapter at a time). :) I feel Ramona's love and hope shine through to me personally. It's beautiful, just beautifully done. If you're going to read just one marriage book, this is it.
November 1, 2013
Ramona Zabriskie's Wife for Life: The Power to Succeed in Marriage is a marriage book to be taken seriously. Written in a personal, romantic style that women will connect with and enjoy, Ramona aims to inspire women, not just give them a how-to manual for getting your man to make love to you. Drawing on a variety of sources, including hundreds of marriage books and articles, biographies and love letters of successful people or famous marriages, and most interestingly - the personal experience of turning an on-the-rocks marriage into an "empire of love", the book has the capacity to empower women in their relationships, helping them realize they can turn the tide of boredom, dissatisfaction, or alienation in their marriages towards a relationship that is fulfilling, romantic, supportive, and filled with love! Even the good marriage is made better and the better, grand by an exploration of the principles in this book. An entertaining, flowing read that will quite literally inspire you to change your life, if you let it. Ramona doesn't just flout / tout (not sure which word is right) marriage principles; she lives with love and is an inspirational mentor to woman all over the world. She turns the clichés about men and women and the devastating divorce statistics on their heads. Read this book. You won't regret it and you'll never forget it!
Topics this book addresses that I found very helpful and insightful:
Dealing with stresses particular to women and combating them so that you won't have to place that burden on your husband.
Understanding male psychology- especially fears and how women's fears and reactions can incite the fears particular to men.
Division of labor (and support) in a marriage.
Filling your "cup" of self-love by living your dreams so that you can have the confidence to nurture and inspire his dreams.
Drawing him to you with her "laws of attraction" which is really all about your attitude and how you treat him.
Acceptance, forgiveness, romance, respect, and so so so much more!
Totally revolutionary. Makes you see men and marriage in a whole different light. You won't believe what she says at first - you'll say that may be true about some men but not my husband- and then you'll start noticing things or trying some things from the book and think "Holy crap! She was right!"
Topics this book addresses that I found very helpful and insightful:
Dealing with stresses particular to women and combating them so that you won't have to place that burden on your husband.
Understanding male psychology- especially fears and how women's fears and reactions can incite the fears particular to men.
Division of labor (and support) in a marriage.
Filling your "cup" of self-love by living your dreams so that you can have the confidence to nurture and inspire his dreams.
Drawing him to you with her "laws of attraction" which is really all about your attitude and how you treat him.
Acceptance, forgiveness, romance, respect, and so so so much more!
Totally revolutionary. Makes you see men and marriage in a whole different light. You won't believe what she says at first - you'll say that may be true about some men but not my husband- and then you'll start noticing things or trying some things from the book and think "Holy crap! She was right!"
June 3, 2013
I'm a newlywed and I am so grateful I made reading this book a priority on my pre-wedding "to do list." It should be required reading for anyone preparing for marriage or was recently married. Zabriskie targets the women who are married to "Nice Guys" as in they are well intentioned, kind, well meaning but far from perfect (just as we are far from perfect). She makes it quite clear that if you are in abusive or harmful relationship that you should seek professional help and that her book is not aimed at this audience. Nevertheless, this book is a relatively inexpensive form of marriage counseling/ therapy and far more fun and rewarding to read this book than to go through a divorce.
One of the strengths of the book is that the author's conversational style is warm and inviting. I appreciate that I felt like Zabriskie was speaking to me as though I were a good friend and we were having a long "girlie chat." Furthermore, I appreciated that while she drew heavily from her personal experiences, she supported her assertions with professional opinions, studies and research. Together her argument is wholly compelling as it appeals to both the emotional and logical aspects of how men and women interact.
I also appreciated Zabriskie's approach in that she offered practical advice so you knew how to apply the ideas she presents in her book. Additionally, as I read the book, I immediately wanted to share it with all my friends so we could discuss it. It is the type of book that would spark a dialogue and could make quite interesting material for a book club. Although I am still new to being a wife, I appreciate this positive, hopeful and inspiring look at how to build a happy, long lasting and successful marriage. We need more material like this in this day and age.
One of the strengths of the book is that the author's conversational style is warm and inviting. I appreciate that I felt like Zabriskie was speaking to me as though I were a good friend and we were having a long "girlie chat." Furthermore, I appreciated that while she drew heavily from her personal experiences, she supported her assertions with professional opinions, studies and research. Together her argument is wholly compelling as it appeals to both the emotional and logical aspects of how men and women interact.
I also appreciated Zabriskie's approach in that she offered practical advice so you knew how to apply the ideas she presents in her book. Additionally, as I read the book, I immediately wanted to share it with all my friends so we could discuss it. It is the type of book that would spark a dialogue and could make quite interesting material for a book club. Although I am still new to being a wife, I appreciate this positive, hopeful and inspiring look at how to build a happy, long lasting and successful marriage. We need more material like this in this day and age.
March 14, 2015
Update 8/19/13 - It just came out in paperback and now I can read it not on a computer screen! Hooray! (I'm rereading, of course, and picking up new things. I still love it!)
This is the marriage book I have been looking for. I have read many books on marriage and gotten a lot of good out of them. But "Wife for Life" puts all those good things together and then adds many profound ideas that I have never come across before. I wish I had had this book when I got married! It helped me understand so much about myself and my husband that I never really "got." (Or if I had already learned, I had learned the hard way.)
In addition to all the great information in the book, I also loved the style it was written in. It's an easy read, very conversational in style, but it's deep enough to read over and over. Personal anecdotes are interspersed with scientific studies and wisdom gained from a lifetime of experience. I loved every minute of my read!
This is the marriage book I have been looking for. I have read many books on marriage and gotten a lot of good out of them. But "Wife for Life" puts all those good things together and then adds many profound ideas that I have never come across before. I wish I had had this book when I got married! It helped me understand so much about myself and my husband that I never really "got." (Or if I had already learned, I had learned the hard way.)
In addition to all the great information in the book, I also loved the style it was written in. It's an easy read, very conversational in style, but it's deep enough to read over and over. Personal anecdotes are interspersed with scientific studies and wisdom gained from a lifetime of experience. I loved every minute of my read!
June 12, 2013
This is the best marriage advice/how-to/information/inspiring book I have ever read. It's not a typical 'here's how to fix it quick book'.
Ramona shares so much background of what builds a grand marriage now and throughout your life with your husband. Some of those steps are quick and easy to implement, others may take longer to implement or get in a good practice of, it really depends on where you are at and where you are coming from.
Which is what adds to how personal her words are as you read and learn and discover all that this book is offering. She intertwines personal experience, she was days from court to be divorced in her first years of marriage, with scientifically proven facts about men and women's lives that make for a very interesting and informative read. I really liked how she adds the facts and it's very easy to read, not like your in a textbook for course work on marriage.
One of the greatest things is that it's a book just for me, my husband doesn't have to read it, but we both are enjoying the benefits. Learning how to respond instead of react and knowing more about his processing has definitely improved our communication. And I feel much more secure with myself in taking care of myself and my needs knowing that it will in turn benefit our relationship.
There are many tools that you can use right now if you picked it up today and started reading. You would feel the positive result in your life almost instantly. Other tools she presents are ones that you will continuously grow in as you live your life with your husband learning from each other and becoming better individuals, resulting in a more positive and grand relationship.
It will be the book you will forever compare all other marriage books to, (if you even choose to read any others after this)and no other books will come close. It's that different and that wonderful.
Ramona shares so much background of what builds a grand marriage now and throughout your life with your husband. Some of those steps are quick and easy to implement, others may take longer to implement or get in a good practice of, it really depends on where you are at and where you are coming from.
Which is what adds to how personal her words are as you read and learn and discover all that this book is offering. She intertwines personal experience, she was days from court to be divorced in her first years of marriage, with scientifically proven facts about men and women's lives that make for a very interesting and informative read. I really liked how she adds the facts and it's very easy to read, not like your in a textbook for course work on marriage.
One of the greatest things is that it's a book just for me, my husband doesn't have to read it, but we both are enjoying the benefits. Learning how to respond instead of react and knowing more about his processing has definitely improved our communication. And I feel much more secure with myself in taking care of myself and my needs knowing that it will in turn benefit our relationship.
There are many tools that you can use right now if you picked it up today and started reading. You would feel the positive result in your life almost instantly. Other tools she presents are ones that you will continuously grow in as you live your life with your husband learning from each other and becoming better individuals, resulting in a more positive and grand relationship.
It will be the book you will forever compare all other marriage books to, (if you even choose to read any others after this)and no other books will come close. It's that different and that wonderful.
June 29, 2013
Wife For Life is, hands down, the best self help book I have ever read. It doesn't preach, it doesn't get prosy or bogged down in information that is difficult to relate to. In fact, I would say this author has a future in writing fiction. Not that Wife For Life is fiction--it is anything BUT. It is filled with personal experiences of both the author's and all sorts of people with whom she has come in contact and mentored. She has seen marriage from many different angles and really has an accurate handle on what works and what doesn't. Mostly, she is passionate about helping everyone to succeed in marriage--you can feel it in every word she writes. I am going to have my 18 year old daughter read this because I think this information is so valuable and I want it to shape her perceptions from the get-go.
June 9, 2015
Wife for Life is a "how to" guide we all wish we had when we got married. Ramona's lighthearted style is engaging, and her message is poignant--marriages will stand the test of time if we learn how to make them grand through a lot of effort on our part. While many of us know it takes effort, we don't know WHAT to do! Through her rich treasure trove of stories from her own life that help us get to know her throughout the book, she clearly outlines what NOT to do if you want a healthy marriage, but more importantly she tells you very clearly what TO do. She freely exposes her own failures and triumphs in her marriage and inspires hope that each of us can overcome challenges to make our marriage grand. A wonderful read!
March 16, 2017
Review:
You could read dozens of marriage and relationship books. Or you could read Ramona's--who has already read those books for you--and puts basic principles into easy-to-remember, easy-to-apply, and encouraging bits of information. Yes it's a LOT of bits and the book requires many read-throughs to gain all you can from it. (Repetition is key so that you can take all this information in bite-sized pieces.) The best part about the book is how personal it is--with real, honest examples that can help a reader apply these principles even more. I could never recommend this book enough. Definitely one of my most influential reads and look forward to it playing a vital role in my life.
History:
10/6/15 Copy on my Nook to read for my W4L University class.
9/22/16 Finally got a print copy. Started the book over. In my 3rd semester of W4L, training as a TA.
3/15/17 I feel like I have my own personal journey with this book. I remember before it was published I helped edit I believe a prospectus of the book. It was published, and one of my closest friends highly recommended it. I added it to my To Read, but with no intention of reading it while I was still a single adult. In August of 2015, I watched one of Ramona's webinars (she already being an "online friend" of mine and I highly respected and enjoyed what she had to say). By the end of that webinar called "Understanding the Men and Boys in Your Life," I knew that Wife for Life included me, single as I was. I signed up for 3 semesters of W4L University and began a couple weeks later.
I ordered the Nook version and made it about 1/4 through. But life was still hectic from work responsibilities winding down and my body and mentality physically catching up from 2 years of sheer craziness. I made it to most of the classes, but my reading dropped off. I liked what I was learning in class, and found some things applicable to my single situation. But my heart wasn't fully in it. I could see so much of the principles in marriage around me, and certainly some in me (Crazy Ladies!!!), but it hadn't quite clicked all the way. A radio that was catching snippets of a staticky station, but not attuned to make it clear yet. The following semester, I was able to take a pottery class--a dream of mine for years--with one of my best friends. It was the same night as Wife for Life University. I had to choose and I went for pottery, since that was a more pressing desire at the time (and now I know is a Dazzle!).
Spring term rolled around. Potter class ended. I had been through an amazing workshop related to my singleness that suddenly had my dating life completely turned around. Though I'd had a few setbacks, I was still charging ahead courageously and joyously. With some of life calming a bit, me missing my friends who were an integral part of W4LU, and having a semester left, I thought "What the hey! I like what I have learned so far and maybe there is more I can apply." Second semester tuned me in so much more. While there were still things that I was not able to apply to my single status, more opened up. And I was able to see how I could start living principles now that would help me in my some day marriage. Meeting some of my fellow W4L-ers that summer (including my first time meeting Ramona in person after a friendship of 10 years) suddenly sealed in to me the awesomeness that the sisterhood brought in supporting each other in these principles. I never wanted to leave. But I thought my semesters were over.
To my great joy, I was informed that I still had a semester left. The semester I took off did not count as one of the semesters I had paid for. I was not only invited back to class, but asked if I had interest in being a TA. Overwhelmed that my inexperience left me woefully unqualified, and work responsibilities having gone back up again, I opted to be an assistant TA. Now that I was fully behind W4L principles and wanted to apply them to my life every which way I could, I decided to buy a print copy and start all over again. Sometimes I sailed through the reading. Other times I got held up by marking so much or by a certain young man who entered my life a couple of weeks into the semester.
The book got put aside for the last few weeks of class and the few weeks afterwards which happened to include mon amour reading the book (and I believe finding some healing from his divorce in it) as well as mon amour's marriage proposal being accepted. In winter 2017, I signed on as a full TA.. Tonight is the last class of the semester, and I decided to finally pull the book out again and read the last two chapters that had been waiting for so long. And they were even more perfect for me to read now, coming at the end of my 4th semester of W4LU thoughout which I had a fiance that I was able to more fully apply these principles to/with. A fiance who whole-heartedly supports my dream to be his Wife for Life, understanding the principles and concepts I am studying and applying.
I look forward to reading this book again and again, especially when I am my love's wife. Applying principles that are no longer new but a part of who I am--but which need constant work and reminding. I will continue to read the book. And continue to go to class. Because I feel there is nothing more important in my life (outside of my living my religion) than being the best wife I can be to the man I love more than anyone and anything.
You could read dozens of marriage and relationship books. Or you could read Ramona's--who has already read those books for you--and puts basic principles into easy-to-remember, easy-to-apply, and encouraging bits of information. Yes it's a LOT of bits and the book requires many read-throughs to gain all you can from it. (Repetition is key so that you can take all this information in bite-sized pieces.) The best part about the book is how personal it is--with real, honest examples that can help a reader apply these principles even more. I could never recommend this book enough. Definitely one of my most influential reads and look forward to it playing a vital role in my life.
History:
10/6/15 Copy on my Nook to read for my W4L University class.
9/22/16 Finally got a print copy. Started the book over. In my 3rd semester of W4L, training as a TA.
3/15/17 I feel like I have my own personal journey with this book. I remember before it was published I helped edit I believe a prospectus of the book. It was published, and one of my closest friends highly recommended it. I added it to my To Read, but with no intention of reading it while I was still a single adult. In August of 2015, I watched one of Ramona's webinars (she already being an "online friend" of mine and I highly respected and enjoyed what she had to say). By the end of that webinar called "Understanding the Men and Boys in Your Life," I knew that Wife for Life included me, single as I was. I signed up for 3 semesters of W4L University and began a couple weeks later.
I ordered the Nook version and made it about 1/4 through. But life was still hectic from work responsibilities winding down and my body and mentality physically catching up from 2 years of sheer craziness. I made it to most of the classes, but my reading dropped off. I liked what I was learning in class, and found some things applicable to my single situation. But my heart wasn't fully in it. I could see so much of the principles in marriage around me, and certainly some in me (Crazy Ladies!!!), but it hadn't quite clicked all the way. A radio that was catching snippets of a staticky station, but not attuned to make it clear yet. The following semester, I was able to take a pottery class--a dream of mine for years--with one of my best friends. It was the same night as Wife for Life University. I had to choose and I went for pottery, since that was a more pressing desire at the time (and now I know is a Dazzle!).
Spring term rolled around. Potter class ended. I had been through an amazing workshop related to my singleness that suddenly had my dating life completely turned around. Though I'd had a few setbacks, I was still charging ahead courageously and joyously. With some of life calming a bit, me missing my friends who were an integral part of W4LU, and having a semester left, I thought "What the hey! I like what I have learned so far and maybe there is more I can apply." Second semester tuned me in so much more. While there were still things that I was not able to apply to my single status, more opened up. And I was able to see how I could start living principles now that would help me in my some day marriage. Meeting some of my fellow W4L-ers that summer (including my first time meeting Ramona in person after a friendship of 10 years) suddenly sealed in to me the awesomeness that the sisterhood brought in supporting each other in these principles. I never wanted to leave. But I thought my semesters were over.
To my great joy, I was informed that I still had a semester left. The semester I took off did not count as one of the semesters I had paid for. I was not only invited back to class, but asked if I had interest in being a TA. Overwhelmed that my inexperience left me woefully unqualified, and work responsibilities having gone back up again, I opted to be an assistant TA. Now that I was fully behind W4L principles and wanted to apply them to my life every which way I could, I decided to buy a print copy and start all over again. Sometimes I sailed through the reading. Other times I got held up by marking so much or by a certain young man who entered my life a couple of weeks into the semester.
The book got put aside for the last few weeks of class and the few weeks afterwards which happened to include mon amour reading the book (and I believe finding some healing from his divorce in it) as well as mon amour's marriage proposal being accepted. In winter 2017, I signed on as a full TA.. Tonight is the last class of the semester, and I decided to finally pull the book out again and read the last two chapters that had been waiting for so long. And they were even more perfect for me to read now, coming at the end of my 4th semester of W4LU thoughout which I had a fiance that I was able to more fully apply these principles to/with. A fiance who whole-heartedly supports my dream to be his Wife for Life, understanding the principles and concepts I am studying and applying.
I look forward to reading this book again and again, especially when I am my love's wife. Applying principles that are no longer new but a part of who I am--but which need constant work and reminding. I will continue to read the book. And continue to go to class. Because I feel there is nothing more important in my life (outside of my living my religion) than being the best wife I can be to the man I love more than anyone and anything.
February 15, 2021
I went to lunch with a good friend and we were discussing how to better support to our busy husbands in the middle of their demanding careers and she mentioned this book. I read it on my kindle and now I want to order a hard copy for keeps. It was exactly the boost I needed. I'm pretty selective on the self-help stuff (ignorance is bliss?) and I've read enough marriage therapy books for my college minor degree to last a lifetime, so I was pretty hesitant going in.
A couple disclaimers- and the author makes this one herself- this book is for women married to a "Nice Guy." This is not the book to turn to for help with a spouse dealing with addiction, abuse, childhood trauma, etc. Second, I didn't love the analogies. She goes the fairy tale route- knight, hero, queen, castle, etc. I get it. For the sake of explaining principles, it helps to have a relatable framework but it came off too cheesy and glib for me.
Those two things aside, I have found myself referring to it over and over. It's very empowering, humbling, eye-opening, instructive information presented in an extremely positive way. This book aligns so closely with my personal mantras for marriage- it was so validating to hear that they are successful strategies. It reminded me and energized me to keep doing the things I've been doing that have given my husband and I nearly 20 years (and counting!) of a happy marriage. Highly highly recommended for every woman in a great marriage, who wishes to make it even better.
A couple disclaimers- and the author makes this one herself- this book is for women married to a "Nice Guy." This is not the book to turn to for help with a spouse dealing with addiction, abuse, childhood trauma, etc. Second, I didn't love the analogies. She goes the fairy tale route- knight, hero, queen, castle, etc. I get it. For the sake of explaining principles, it helps to have a relatable framework but it came off too cheesy and glib for me.
Those two things aside, I have found myself referring to it over and over. It's very empowering, humbling, eye-opening, instructive information presented in an extremely positive way. This book aligns so closely with my personal mantras for marriage- it was so validating to hear that they are successful strategies. It reminded me and energized me to keep doing the things I've been doing that have given my husband and I nearly 20 years (and counting!) of a happy marriage. Highly highly recommended for every woman in a great marriage, who wishes to make it even better.
February 24, 2022
Just never could get into this book. I’m sure it has great advice but just couldn’t read more than a few pages before I my mind was wandering
April 11, 2014
There's a lot of good advice in here. I recommend it to all married women. Implementing just a few of the suggestions in this book will help out your marriage immensely. My only beef with the book was all the metaphors; I'm more of a literal kind of girl. I remember that "Pioneer Women" were mentioned but I don't remember exactly what was meant by that. My guess is that it would mean you need to be tough but I really don't know. I liked "First Respect" because that phrase means exactly what it sounds like; Perfect. The writing style was engaging and, overall, I thought it a good read.
January 23, 2019
Meh. I got about half way through. She does have some good tips if you can get past all the flowery words to get to them. Just get to the point already please! I also felt like she excused men's bad behaviors way too much. She practically pointed the finger at us women and said it was all our fault if we are having struggles in our marriage. Read this book if you want a guilt trip! I just couldn't stomach it anymore. That and I had to turn it back into the library.
February 27, 2017
I really wanted to like this book since a friend had recommended it. And maybe I would have if I hadn't listened to the author read it (it was a lesson in patience). That being said, there are nuggets of good advice in it but you have to plough through some serious cheesiness to get to them.
March 7, 2017
This book has a lot of shame based language. Pretty much, if anything wrong in the marriage it blames the woman. Blech!
There are some helpful insights into a man's brain that have changed the way I interact with my husband that I appreciate.
There are some helpful insights into a man's brain that have changed the way I interact with my husband that I appreciate.
September 28, 2017
I found that most of the info in this book could be reciprocally applied to women as well. The book was really helpful in understanding what power one has in making their relationship better. I will return to this book often. One of my favorite marriage/relationship books.
April 11, 2018
I believe the principles and ideas are right on, but the writing style was too flowery for me. It was really hard for me to finish this book. I would’ve loved a summary of the key points instead.
December 27, 2017
The marriage I want takes work, and that is why I sometimes read books like this. It's like REAL homework, people. :)
Value in a lot of her ideas but I did struggle to feel confident that I could apply it all without signing up for her online community. In my notes I wrote, "how are you going to apply all of this when you're upset?" :) That's funny for me to read a couple of months later. Friends, I have this tendency to take everything I read way too seriously! The best things that I took from this book, however, are very good things that help me see the gifts and the power I have as a woman to embrace what is already really good in my marriage, and good about me, and improve on it. I also gained insight into understanding my husband's perspective and that's awesome because sadly... I rarely make time for that.
I'll share some favorite quotes below. Overall I was tuned in quite well to the great ideas here, until the final 1/3 of the book when I began to feel like she was trying to prescribe my happiness with her method and her method only. For me, that dampened a little bit the hope I was initially feeling and made for a discouraging and overwhelming finish.
"Pioneer woman skills"
She learns how to take care of herself, emotionally and physically, so that she can give with abundance (from a full heart and a strong body) and receive with confidence (from a deep-seated belief that she deserves nurturing and attention); She makes, and sticks with, difficult choices and lives from the heart; She believes in her own objectives, but finds a way to meld them with the hopes of others, particularly those of her husband, so that in the end, her little homestead has turned into a thriving estate; humming with activity, life, and love -- a fully orchestrated piece of music instead of a lonely solo. (41)
I am a woman. I am a relational creature by instinct. Like all mothers, grandmothers, daughters, sisters, and wives at the Wailing Wall, my whole life, my every prayer, is about relationships. (pg 50)
Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have of trying to change others. - Jacob M. Braude
...to be just about perfect, and therefore to have, a just-about-perfect marriage, we have to master only two things: requesting forgiveness and extending forgiveness. (181)
Value in a lot of her ideas but I did struggle to feel confident that I could apply it all without signing up for her online community. In my notes I wrote, "how are you going to apply all of this when you're upset?" :) That's funny for me to read a couple of months later. Friends, I have this tendency to take everything I read way too seriously! The best things that I took from this book, however, are very good things that help me see the gifts and the power I have as a woman to embrace what is already really good in my marriage, and good about me, and improve on it. I also gained insight into understanding my husband's perspective and that's awesome because sadly... I rarely make time for that.
I'll share some favorite quotes below. Overall I was tuned in quite well to the great ideas here, until the final 1/3 of the book when I began to feel like she was trying to prescribe my happiness with her method and her method only. For me, that dampened a little bit the hope I was initially feeling and made for a discouraging and overwhelming finish.
"Pioneer woman skills"
She learns how to take care of herself, emotionally and physically, so that she can give with abundance (from a full heart and a strong body) and receive with confidence (from a deep-seated belief that she deserves nurturing and attention); She makes, and sticks with, difficult choices and lives from the heart; She believes in her own objectives, but finds a way to meld them with the hopes of others, particularly those of her husband, so that in the end, her little homestead has turned into a thriving estate; humming with activity, life, and love -- a fully orchestrated piece of music instead of a lonely solo. (41)
I am a woman. I am a relational creature by instinct. Like all mothers, grandmothers, daughters, sisters, and wives at the Wailing Wall, my whole life, my every prayer, is about relationships. (pg 50)
Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have of trying to change others. - Jacob M. Braude
...to be just about perfect, and therefore to have, a just-about-perfect marriage, we have to master only two things: requesting forgiveness and extending forgiveness. (181)
September 11, 2022
I'm disappointed that the style of writing in this book (a cross between an infomercial and a pep rally) detracts from what are actually some excellent messages about how to create a strong marriage. The few ideas I've already incorporated had instant positive reactions in my relationship with my husband. But sadly the true principles are hidden behind annoying nicknames and infantile terminology that I had to fight my barf reflex in order to hold on to the valid points beneath them. So I'm left giving this book 3 stars because it's the average of the 1 star for the way it is written and the 5 stars for the valuable info under all the hyperbole.
February 26, 2025
I think this book has a lot of good ideas, but I felt like it was all delivered one-sided. I felt like it was telling me that I held full responsibility for my marriage and my husbands happiness, and not the other way around. I just think that there needs to be more of a partnership and responsibility on both ends.
March 1, 2023
This was so helpful to me and I’m going to gift it to new brides. Ramona is definitely of the theatrical bent! It makes her a good storyteller. Wish I could have read this as a newlywed, but it’s great info even now.
January 28, 2017
Content is 5 star worthy. I just had difficulty with the many metaphors, one after another. But this one is worth owning and highlighting and referring to repeatedly.
May 22, 2017
Wise and helpful. I have a thing for books on improving marriage. I have read many books and articles. I related to this for some reason and would recommend it to others.
June 26, 2018
Lot of insperacial information, Now to use it.
July 18, 2018
Some helpful advice, interesting insight into how a man thinks.
February 26, 2019
A bit old fashioned at times but I did take away some solid points. Some of the tactics in there did work in my quest to bring peace to my marriage! Ha!
January 17, 2020
A very empowering read. Lots of insights and things to think about. I’m excited to recommend this one to any wife!
February 10, 2020
Every woman should read this.
May 24, 2023
This book had some interesting insights that could be worth pursuing. Most of the advice I’ve already heard in other books about marriage, but the idea of the quest was new to me.
October 8, 2015
What is Marriage? It is when two people decide they want to spend their life together and form a union. In today’s world the overall divorce rate has increased, and more young couples (in their twenties) are divorcing. This is part of the reason Ramona Zabriskie wrote “Wife for Life: Power to Succeed in Marriage”.
In the preface, Zabriskie shares a story of when she was talking to a friend about young women who were already on their second marriages. In this story Zabriskie relates her own experience to this friend as a newly married young women; of the separation between her and her new husband; of filing for divorce after 15 months of marriage; of getting back together and being married now for 31+ years. Her friend asked “what happened?” between getting back together after filing for divorce and now, married for 31+ years. This is what Zabriskie says she try’s to answer in this book through the research she has studied and the interviews she has conducted with couples who have Grand marriages (marriages of many plus years).
The book is split into three parts. The first talks about the Why in marriage. The second talks about how to avoid being a dream breaker in marriage, and the third talks about having a Grand lifelong marriage.
I had a hard time at first getting into this book because I thought, “I’m not married, how does this apply to me?” As I read though, ideas and concepts popped out at me and I found myself thinking, “when I get married, I want to do that” or “when I get married, I want to stay away from that if I can.”
One thing that really stood out to me was when Zabriskie said, “If you will focus on defining why you want to be a wife and then learn as much as you can about how to be a wife, and what being his wife is all about…..then you will have a much better chance of creating a grand marriage that is solid and stunning forever.”
I’ve always grown up being taught to trust in Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, to stay strong in the gospel, to eventually get married to a man in the temple and be sealed for all time and eternity. As I think on what Zabriskie said about focusing on the why I want to get married, I realized that I want to get married because I’ve always been taught that’s what I’m supposed to do; that I’m supposed to marry and have a family of my own. Now, that’s not a bad reason, but I shouldn’t get married just because that’s what I’ve been told to do; that shouldn’t be my why reason. I should find and believe in my why reason I want to get married; I should learn how and what being my husbands wife is all about. This will, as Zabriskie says, help me to have a “much better chance of creating a grand marriage that is solid and stunning forever”. This is what I want, to have a solid and stunning marriage forever. I’m working on creating my forever now; by the decisions I am making each and every day.
Therefore, I would recommend this book to women who may or may not be struggling in their marriage currently, as well as for women who may not be currently married whether it is because they have never been married before or because they have been divorced. The concepts and ideas, the knowledge, can be learned, and even applied in a women’s life in whatever state of marriage or lack of marriage they may find themselves.
In the preface, Zabriskie shares a story of when she was talking to a friend about young women who were already on their second marriages. In this story Zabriskie relates her own experience to this friend as a newly married young women; of the separation between her and her new husband; of filing for divorce after 15 months of marriage; of getting back together and being married now for 31+ years. Her friend asked “what happened?” between getting back together after filing for divorce and now, married for 31+ years. This is what Zabriskie says she try’s to answer in this book through the research she has studied and the interviews she has conducted with couples who have Grand marriages (marriages of many plus years).
The book is split into three parts. The first talks about the Why in marriage. The second talks about how to avoid being a dream breaker in marriage, and the third talks about having a Grand lifelong marriage.
I had a hard time at first getting into this book because I thought, “I’m not married, how does this apply to me?” As I read though, ideas and concepts popped out at me and I found myself thinking, “when I get married, I want to do that” or “when I get married, I want to stay away from that if I can.”
One thing that really stood out to me was when Zabriskie said, “If you will focus on defining why you want to be a wife and then learn as much as you can about how to be a wife, and what being his wife is all about…..then you will have a much better chance of creating a grand marriage that is solid and stunning forever.”
I’ve always grown up being taught to trust in Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, to stay strong in the gospel, to eventually get married to a man in the temple and be sealed for all time and eternity. As I think on what Zabriskie said about focusing on the why I want to get married, I realized that I want to get married because I’ve always been taught that’s what I’m supposed to do; that I’m supposed to marry and have a family of my own. Now, that’s not a bad reason, but I shouldn’t get married just because that’s what I’ve been told to do; that shouldn’t be my why reason. I should find and believe in my why reason I want to get married; I should learn how and what being my husbands wife is all about. This will, as Zabriskie says, help me to have a “much better chance of creating a grand marriage that is solid and stunning forever”. This is what I want, to have a solid and stunning marriage forever. I’m working on creating my forever now; by the decisions I am making each and every day.
Therefore, I would recommend this book to women who may or may not be struggling in their marriage currently, as well as for women who may not be currently married whether it is because they have never been married before or because they have been divorced. The concepts and ideas, the knowledge, can be learned, and even applied in a women’s life in whatever state of marriage or lack of marriage they may find themselves.
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