Lived Through This: Listening to the Stories of Sexual Violence Survivors

by Anne K. Ream

In these pages you’ll meet a community of rape and sexual violence survivors who have been shaped, but refuse to be defined, by their histories of violence. They are brave, and they are outspoken—but, mostly, they are hopeful.
 
From its insistently resolute opening essay to its final, deeply moving story, Lived Through This is a book that defies conventional wisdom about life in the wake of sexual violence, while putting names and faces on an issue that too often leaves its victims silent and invisible.
 
Part personal history of Anne Ream’s own experience rebuilding her life after violence, part memoir of a multi-country, multi-year journey spent listening to survivors, Lived Through This is at once deeply personal and resolutely political. In these pages we are introduced to, among others, the women of Atenco, Mexico, victims of rape and political torture who are speaking out about gender-based violence in Latin America; Beth Adubato, a woman who was raped by a popular athlete and then denied justice when her college failed to fully investigate the attack; and Jenny and Steve Bush, a rape survivor and her father who are working together to share Jenny’s testimony of surviving rape at the hands of a veteran in order to alter the US military’s response to sexual violence committed by those in its ranks.  
 
Writing with compassion, candor, and, at times, even much-needed humor, Ream brings us a series of stories and essays that are as insistent as they are incisive. Considered individually, her profiles are profoundly moving, and even inspiring. Considered collectively, they are a window into a world where sexual violence is more commonplace than most of us imagine.
 
The accomplished and courageous women and men profiled in Lived Through This are, in the words of the author, “living reminders of all that remains possible in the wake of the terrible.”

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

202 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2014

Reviews

[Martha Love · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a remarkable, candidly expressed, and very empowering book. Anne Ream has demonstrated with the assistance of the brave people in this collection of interview stories that sexual abuse has victimized a cross-cultural population and people in all walks of life. I love the way Ream has written of both her own feelings and responses concerning the interview process, woven in a story with the words of the participants themselves. And each story is a perfect length to read to give you a deep understanding of the impact of each person's life experience as a victim and as a survivor.

I personally found it educational and heartfelt to read of all the many ways that people have taken their traumatic abuse experiences and been empowered to do something to help others who have been through what they have and to end this violence that continues to touch so many lives all over the world. For instance, I am familiar with the organization Dreamcatcher Foundation, and was deeply moved to read the shared story of abuse by its founder Brenda Myers-Powell. Story after story in Lived Through This features abuse victims who have forged on in life despite the impact of abuse and who have become authors, artists, advocates and campaigners of justice and social change.

It is my hope that Ream will write more volumes of these story interviews and continue this much needed sharing. I think what really grabbed me reading this book was the sheer range of people interviewed and the fortitude of each to make an impact that would make life better for others.

I received this book as a Goodreads First-read winner and very happy that I did.

Martha Char Love,
author of What's Behind Your Belly Button? A Psychological Perspective of the Intelligence of Human Nature and Gut Instinct and
Increasing Intuitional Intelligence: How the Awareness of Instinctual Gut Feelings Fosters Human Learning, Intuition, and Longevity

[Liralen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lived Through This is a collection of people's stories of sexual violence, wonderfully done in both curation and content. Ream didn't solicit individual essays but rather conducted interviews and wrote the content around those interviews, obviously aiming for a variety of experiences. It's still a little straight-white for my liking (not exclusively, but probably disproportionately), but the thing it did best, I think, was not dwell on the details. Ream generally steers clear of the what-happened-where-how-who: not that that's not important, but there are many accounts out there of people's experiences, and instead Ream contextualises them, giving us a sort of cross-section of sexual assault and its scope and impacts. It's not that she shies away from the difficult matter but more that she zeros in on the less salacious details that do not usually get enough press time. It's very thoughtfully done, obviously with an eye toward respecting the individuals whose stories lie within these pages.

[Sydney Stein · Rating 3 out of 5]

The way Ream portrays survivors of sexual assault is lovely and empowering. The focus on the diverse backgrounds of her interviewees and how they coped with their trauma helps to showcase the idea that trauma is universal. Most of the profiles in this book are from educated people in powerful positions who lean toward the wealthy side of the scale, highlighting the prominence of gender-based violence in upper classes. The lack of stories from survivors of a lower socioeconomic status and the emphasis on positive outcomes post-trauma make me hesitant to revisit this book.

[Loretta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anne Ream lived through her rape experience...she did more than that. She testified at the trial and put him in prison. She became an advocate for other rape victims. She became the founder of The Voices and Faces Project. She interviewed other rape victims and Patricia Evans photographed them. It is frightening how many people, men, women, children, soldiers have had to experience this violence and then deal with the sometimes ineffective law enforcement and medical help afterwards. We've a long way to go in this field. But Anne is making a difference!

[Meg · Rating 4 out of 5]

The variety of experiences and personalities is both encouraging and horrifying. Many of these people have transformed terrible experiences into energy for change, which is beautiful. There is such strength and resilience in these very real stories.

[Sanchita · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very insightful, nuanced account of a group of people brave enough to talk about their abuse. Very empathetic writing.

[Claudia Huang · Rating 5 out of 5]

as a sex violence survivor,this book is moving and inspiring. Thanks so much for publishing this book Anne❤️

[Createpei · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an amazing book of experiences shared by sexual violence survivors. These experiences are not for the faint of heart, however, it is so important in today's society that they be shared with at least parents and teens.

The author has shared stories of both females and males - so the book is balanced from the male perspective.

There are several Prince Edward Island connections in the book and I have to say those women who came forward are so brave and I admire them all for sharing their experiences. We are a very small place with many people knowing each other and I can only imagine how difficult it must be to share.

Sexual violence happens every day - everywhere - all around the world - every hour. It happens to the poor and the wealthy; the educated and the uneducated; and quite often is committed by those very people that we put our trust in (family members, friends, co-workers, teachers, coaches, babysitters just name but a few).

I encourage EVERYONE but particularly parents to read this book and then to share these stories with their pre-teens. We must all as a society stand up and let it be known that it is NOT OK for this to continue to happen. We must help all who suffer and let them know how much we love and support them.

[McKenzie Richardson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book from LibraryThing in exchange for an honest review.

A powerful and inspiring collection of stories from survivors of rape and sexual assault.

This is truly a remarkable work. Ream provides the stories of many survivors spanning over race, sex, age, and profession. Each story provides details into the survivor's experience, which is often difficult to read, but ends with the inspiring way each person changed due to the experience and how it influenced his or her fight against rape, sexual assault, and sexual violence.

This is an amazing work that takes each person's unique experiences and combines them to create an inspiring work of activism.

Statistic and resources are provided at the end of the book, which include sources for getting help as well as advocacy and services to fight against sexual violence.

[Cassie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Retelling the stories of sexual abuse victims and informing the public about sexual violence is the main focus of this book. It contains a number of true stories of brave men and women who have come forward to tell their stories to the world. Anne Ream does their stories justice and weaves them into research and statistics in a way that is easy to read and informative. It is sad and hard to read at times but modest in details about the incidents. It is a good read for adults and fellow survivors of sexual abuse. Whether you are a victim of it or not, you will take something from reading this book.

[Sherry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Difficult to read, but ultimately an uplifting book. Well worth the time if you're interested in strength of human character, and the ability to use negative situations to achieve positive change. Great project!

[Caryl Barnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read the book and, while I greatly appreciate and am moved by the individual stories, what stuns me is the powerful voice of oneness. They lived through it, they're going to tell the story, and they're going to do everything they can for as long as it takes to stop it!

[LynthePen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Man, woman, victim, or not this is a must read. Period.

[Cassidy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was thoughtful, accessible, and inspiring. I'm very grateful to Anne K. Ream for skillfully bringing light to the world of sexual violence survivors.

[Mlg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very well written book about the survivors of sexual assault. Each interviewee has a very different story to tell, some are attacked by strangers, others by family members, some are American, some are women from African countries. What makes this a valuable book are the ways in which people survive what has happened to them. In many cases, the women become advocates for others or find peace in telling their story through a book or a film. Well done, I'm sorry I missed the author when she came to speak at the Stevenson Center.