At Least My Belly Hides My Cankles: Mostly-True Tales of An Impending Miracle

by Paige Kellerman

At Least My Belly Hides My Mostly True Tales of An Impending Miracle is the hilarious debut of writer, humorist Paige Kellerman. From the moment her positive test result is revealed in a fog of canine flatulence, to the day she's gently hoisted onto the delivery table by a front-end loader, Paige guides you through her pregnancy with twins, careful to only hold one of your hands in case you need to cover your eyes with the other. You'll laugh out loud as she recounts the horrors of birthing class, her struggles with morning sickness, sexy Halloween costumes, applying for maternity leave — and of course, the impossible task of corralling those wayward cankles — all in her own inimitable style. This book is a must-read for any mother, or anyone who has a mother to whom they probably need to apologize.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction

218 pages, Paperback

First published May 28, 2013

About the author

Paige Kellerman is a writer, humorist, and mother whose hypochondria is exceeded only by her ability to change diapers. Part sinner, part saint, part gin enthusiast, she spends her days running after four children and trying to call everyone by the right name. Her humor has been featured on Mashable, Huffington Post, Babble, For Her, and many other sites. She is the author of At Least My Belly Hides My Cankles and The Beer’s Folded and the Laundry’s Cold.

Reviews

[Ciara · Rating 1 out of 5]

i legitimately feel bad giving this book only one star. but this is the kind of book that my shelf "incomprehensibly terrible" was made for. i read a sample (most of the first chapter) before i committed & thought i knew what i was getting into: a memoir of pregnancy told with a very irreverent & self-deprecating sense of humor. sounds great! just the sort of thing i love! but as things wore on, it just got worse & worse.

i don't know what happened. i think the author just took things too far. it was one of those situations where someone tells a joke & you're like, "eh, could be funnier," & then the joke gets punched up & you're like, "now you're talking," & then the joke-teller is like, "if they like a little juice, they'll like a LOT," & you're filled with regret for ever laughing at a joke in your life. as i get older, i am less attracted to hyperbole in writing. a little goes a long way. this book is nothing BUT hyperbole. she jokes about how her ankles became so swollen with pregnancy that they were knocking things over (including people) of their own accord. she jokes about how she went to a prenatal & demanded to know how exactly her babies would be born, as there didn't seem to be a trapdoor from which they would be released. there's just a lot of this sort of thing that would have been so much funnier if it had been dialed way, way back.

i've been pregnant. i know first-hand that a lot of stuff about pregnancy can be pretty funny. it's an absurd experience. but i wish she had mixed the jokes with more of a story & not tried so hard to make every line of the book a punchline. i actually had a difficult time finishing the book (though i did stick it out to the end). i feel like i complain a lot when i read the "funny essay/memoir" genre of books that the author tries too hard to make the reader laugh. but this author seriously takes it to a whole new level. it was almost unbearable.

[Stacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paige Kellerman is not just another mom humor writer. She has a unique voice and quirky sense of humor which will catch you off guard and have you laughing loud and hard. She is a true gift to the writing world and I look forward to her next book!

[Jo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Classic case of trying too hard

I wanted to like this book. I really did. And, it was funny, at first. But it lacked a real story, real dialog, everything! It was just a bunch of run on jokes and run on sentences. Honestly, I had to make myself finish the book.

[Erika]

Won an autographed copy from the author herself--very goofy, not at all serious book about pregnancy and all it's foibles. I may be too far gone from pregnancy to full appreciate the humor.

[Meredith Spidel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVE Paige Kellerman, it's no secret. Her witty humor slays me, and if she can make sugar-free ice cream and requests for maternity leave funny, she's obviously got mad crazy talent. Just sitting back and eagerly awaiting the next installment in what will surely be a long and incredible writing career!

[Kim Bongiorno · Rating 4 out of 5]

The cream of the crop of self-published books by bloggers is rising to the top.
Paige is clearly a clever girl, sharp writer, and savvy author who saved the best stories about her pregnancy for this smart, laugh-out-loud collection of essays about pregnancy.

[Vykki · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fun. I haven't laugh this much in a long time. I won this book on Goodreads. Thank you

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fun read! I thoroughly enjoyed following from the pee stick to the delivery room. It was certainly a relatable and hilarious book!

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't find this book quite as funny as Paige Kellerman's blog - but still a good quick read!

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great summer read! It is well written and very funny!

[Ellie Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

HIlarious. Highly recommended. I laughed out loud the entire book. The chapter on alcohol is brilliant, it still makes me giggle just thinking about it. I'll read this book a second time for sure.

[Allison Hart · Rating 5 out of 5]

I usually read in bed while my husband sleeps. He banned this book because my constant somewhat stifled laughter kept him up. This book is laugh out loud awesome.

[Holly · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book. I thought it might be a nice break from my typical reads and might be a funny play on being pregnant. Was hoping it might be something similar to the writing styles of Babe Walker or Chelsea Handler. Was disappointed though. The author was trying too hard to be funny that it was hard to finish the book. Don’t get me wrong, there were some funny things in the book that had me laughing but mostly I was rolling my eyes.

[Jeni Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the most hilarious book I have read in, well, longer than I can remember. I laughed so hard I was crying, snorting, and losing my vision.. laughing so hard my husband took the kindle from my hands to see what I was reading. I am sad this book ended, I will have to find more Pauge stuff.... quickly.

[Erinn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Truly funny, quick-witted and more realistic than most pre-natal guides.

[Sue · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF. I didn't find it very funny nor interesting.

[Lottie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a funny, very light hearted book. But it was a little too much run on humor. I love the aspect of finding humor in every situation, but there really wasn't a genuine moment in the book. A quick read but I felt like I was waiting for her to get real. It just never happened. I'm glad I read it while I was pregnant but not something I would rave about.

[Leslie Marinelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Paige has a gift for humor writing…and procreating. She made me laugh, leak, and rejoice that my breeding days are long behind me.

By the way, my step-dad, who is a huge fan of humorists like Dave Barry, Lewis Grizzard, and Erma Bombeck read a few chapters of "At Least My Belly Hides My Cankles" and said, "This woman is FUNNY!"

[Megen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Four stars despite some tragic typos (she "waives" her arms) because I laughed OUT LOUD the entire time I was reading it. It's one of those books without a particularly compelling plot written by someone without particularly compelling skill that is nevertheless fantastic because of the way she phrases things. Loved it!

[Shannon · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author is trying way too hard to be funny so I found myself rolling my eyes too much to actually finish the book. It's one thing to be self-depreciating, but it's another to have every single sentence be hyperbole and embellishment. I finally gave up and decided to move on to something I'd enjoy rather than feel obligated to finish.

[Tara Y · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't even finish this. The writer was trying way to hard to be funny. Every line was a hard attempt at a joke, that half the time, you couldn't tell what was truly being said and what was just a thought. Not a fan.

[Wendy Lanyon · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was very light hearted and funny.