がらんどう

by Asako Otani, 大谷 朝子

「ルームシェアっていうの、やらない? もっと広い部屋に住めるし、生活費も節約できるし、家事も分担できるよ」
「若い人たち同士ならわかるけど……本気なの?」
「四十過ぎた女二人が同居しちゃいけないって法律はないよ」
「でも、普通はしないよ」

人生で一度も恋愛感情を抱いたことがない平井と、副業として3Dプリンターで死んだ犬のフィギュアを作り続ける菅沼。
二人組アイドルグループ「KI Dash」の推し活で繋がった二人のコロナ禍での共同生活は、心地よく淡々と過ぎていくが――

恋愛、結婚、出産、家族……どんな型にもうまくはまれない、でも、特別じゃない。
《今》を生きるすべての人へ、さまざまな属性を越えて響く“わたしたち”の物語。

Genres: Fiction, Japan, Japanese Literature, Contemporary, Novella, Literary Fiction, Translated Fiction

120 pages, Hardcover

First published February 3, 2023

Reviews

[Laubythesea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lástima la corrección a la traducción y de estilo que le falta :(

[lecturas_niponas · Rating 5 out of 5]

4,5 ⭐️
Me encanta como esté libro testimonia la generación de mujeres que deciden mantenerse solteras.
Tanto con las incertidumbres y convicciones que llevan esa decisión pero no sin evidenciar la culpa de sentir que hay algo en nosotras que no es normal y necesita ser cuestionado.
Creo que es un libro que dialoga muy bien con Pechos y huevos de Mieko Kawakami. En lo personal, Nada dentro me resultó con una fluidez mucho más amigable, puede deberse a la comparación de páginas entre uno y otro.
Una pluma sutil, directa pero nada brusca, sin dudas volvería a leer a Asako Otani.

[Readergirl {hiatus} · Rating 4 out of 5]

A curious commentary on life, where society meets the self.

I fell asleep and awoke to the wonderful life inside this book. We follow the life, the passions, desires or lack thereof of Hirai. A woman in her near-forties, she isn't lost. She has her life panned out, go to work and come home to her flatmate, Saganuma (which seems to be the only odd part of her life, living with another woman).

There are a lot of themes to get snagged up on here. The integration of the lives of celebrities to ourselves is one of the most prominent ones. The way how we let them into our life or how much we want their lives into our lives. We form a specific image of them, decorate it, adorn it with our expectations. We blatantly project on them, our feelings, our reflections. And then we are broken when they don't live up to it. We wish we hadn't even know what they had done to break the picture-perfect image of them we have in our heads.

Repulsion or confusion to sexuality
A running theme is Hirai's apparent repulsion to males. It's a realistic reflection a lot of people face everyday. The constant confusion about the glaring WHY they don't want to be in a relationship. The questions they ask themselves - am I even capable of a relationship? This particular theme really drew me in. Drew Hirai alive from just words on the sheet to a real person.

And lastly, the want of a child. Another running theme is how she wants a child. So badly it refuses to listen to her reason of reality and circumstances. The want even she can't put a finger on why she wants one except it being a projection of society's expectation and it being the logical next step planned for her by the community.

All these themes form an amalgamation of the crude and raw reality of today, being different, and feeling hollow inside.

"I'm the sort of person who can't fall in love."

"My baby. Hollow inside, misshapen, defective. It was perfect for me."

⋆⭒˚𖠋𖠋𖠋*.⋆⋆⭒˚𖠋𖠋𖠋*.⋆⋆⭒˚𖠋𖠋𖠋*.⋆⋆⭒˚𖠋𖠋𖠋*.⋆⋆⭒˚𖠋𖠋𖠋*.⋆

𐦂𖨆𐀪𖠋𝓹𝓻𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭
Looking forward to a short social satire, that leaves me questioning the real meaning of a society and people.

Thank you Netgalley, the author and the publisher for the eARC of the book.

[Michela · Rating 5 out of 5]

MASTERPIECE MASTERPIECE MASTERPIECE!

It’s always the random tiktok recs that end up being the most incredible reads for me.

This was like a combination of all the most perfect contemporary Japanese authors (Sayaka Murata, Rin Usami, Kikuko Tsumura, Junko Takase, etc) and their themes, but also it focused on different facets of the human experience (being in your 40s, not following societal conventions, female friendships in your 40s, asexuality, loneliness).

I’m shocked this is a debut, and so grateful I’ve read it for January in Japan.

Will be recommending it nonstop!

[My.bookish.diaries · Rating 3.75 out of 5]

3.75⭐️

Thank you Pushkin Press US for the gifted copy!

A short Japanese novella that was a short but impactful read. Love 💕 !!

We follow Hirai in her late thirties who moves in with one of her friends in Japan. This causes a lot of inner dialogue about whether what she is doing is socially acceptable. Whether she should continue and try for a life that society wants her to follow..

This book delves into questions about societies expectation on marriage, relationships and motherhood.

I do wish we got to go deeper into her family life and what she has gone through with her mother and stepfather. Thought we also spent a little too much time on the coworkers shirt when it didn’t do much for such a short story.

Overall I enjoyed the read. I liked the ending and see it’s ok to not take the path everyone does.

I love reading stories like these and hope to read more from Pushkin Press US!

[Kate O'Shea · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not quite sure what to make of Hollow Inside. It feels less like a structured story than a snapshot of two characters.

Hirai and Suganuma are flat mates. Hirai has a boring office job, isn't interested in marriage but has frozen her eggs just in case she wants a child but time may be running out. When she learns that Suganuma is seeing someone she resolves to try dating again in case Suganuma leaves.

Suganuma is a strange character who makes replicas of pets using a 3D printer. When she offers Hirai a special birthday present, Hirai's request takes her by surprise.

The story doesn't particularly go anywhere and feels like we just dropped in and then dropped out of these women's lives to see how ordinary people live.

It was difficult to be enthusiastic about it. If you like short stories that don't particularly go anywhere then you'll enjoy this.

Thankyou to Netgalley and Pushkin Press for the digital review copy.

[Berry · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Nothing in this world had anything to do with me.”

This short novel is for the women who feel like their time will never come and who may need to hear that maybe it won't.

I read this in one sitting and really enjoyed it. Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

[Tala (mrs.skywalker.reads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

small and uneventful but somehow touched something in me deeply

[Bella Azam · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a short read but raised great questions on sexuality, expectations on marriage & relationship, also on motherhood.

Full RTC

Thank u to Edelweiss and Pushkin Press for the review copy

[Jenn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Le iba a dar tres estrellas, pero la edición tiene demasiados errores ortotipográficos y algunas decisiones de la traducción son, cuanto menos, cuestionables, que le he quitado una.

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

La historia me gustó bastante, aborda una realidad latente y temas interesantes, pero como dijeron por ahí, lamentablemente le faltó corrección al texto y es notorio en varias partes.

[Kari · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a short, just okay read, in my opinion… though I’m wondering if it’s because of the book itself or the marketing for said book. It was billed as something fans of Sayaka Murata would enjoy, but aside from the main character being someone who doesn’t necessarily conform to society’s expectations when it comes to dating and marriage, I don’t see the likeness. Murata very intentionally often makes the reader feel deeply uncomfortable while tackling societal norms and taboos, where this book skimmed the surface of the main character’s life. Aside from an odd fixation on the logo from her colleague’s polo shirt, I don’t feel like we really got enough character depth to really understand or relate to her.

There were so many threads we could have followed that probably would have made the book more enjoyable for me, especially because some of the themes brought up were really interesting. Some of these include societal pressure to raise a family, friends in problematic relationships, and the desire to find a new job while also understanding the safety that can be found in settling for the mundane).

I really wish we’d learned more about her strained relationship with her mum to the aversion she has to her stepfather, her pondering her identity as she comes to terms with the fact that she doesn’t want to date but also doesn’t want to be lonely, or even the dynamic with her odd flatmate. It feels like the main character didn’t really do much introspection, which means that we as the reader weren’t able to really know her.

Maybe that was the point?

All in all, I didn’t dislike the book, but I also didn’t feel like it told a really unique or thought-provoking story. That being said, if you’ve never tried Japanese literature before, you might have a totally different perspective and may learn something about the culture or experiences as laid out in the book!

Thanks so much to NetGalley and Pushkin Press for the advanced ebook!

[Taylor · Rating 2 out of 5]

A tale of non conformity and the uncertainty of being different in a society that values sameness almost to the level of virtuousness.

This is a short story of the realities of being a late thirties woman, childfree and single, in the marriage and family focused Japan. And while I appreciate these kinds of stories and usually enjoy them. Hollow Inside felt like it added nothing new to the genre.

And partly I feel like the advertising this book received is part of the problem. Advertised on NetGalley as for fans of Sayaka Murata, I kept waiting for this book to get weird or have some kind of reality shifting twist and it never came.

I also felt frustrated with the way the author spent so much time analysing the shirt of our MC’s coworker. With how short this book is, it felt like we were wasting words focusing on some truly unimpressive details that have nothing to do with the story.

Ultimately I thought this book was fine, there was nothing wrong with it but it also gave me nothing new and ultimately it’ll be forgettable by the end of the year.

2.75

[Samantha · Rating 4 out of 5]

“It wasn’t possible to give up everything and keep on living without feeling pain.”

When you’re a woman in your 30s/40s and decide to never marry or have children, moving in with your female bestie seems like a more sensible option than more traditional ones. But when Hirai and Suganuma get an apartment together and vibe tf out, they are plagued with a guilt and judgement many women experience.

Female friendship and platonic love is such a threat to the patriarchy because it gives women a chance to live outside of its constraints, and if there’s one thing men don’t like, it’s women existing outside constraints. Hirai’s and Suganuma’s cohabitation feels cozy and comfortable and efficient because the power dynamic of a heterosexual relationship is taken out of the picture. No longer is the division of labor uneven and oppressive, and these two women get to be their authentic selves in their own space, instead of tirelessly performing a role of expectations.

“...I was scared of choosing something so out of the ordinary. I found it easier to be as plain and unobtrusive as possible, which suited my personality and appearance.”

Easier why, though? Because of societal expectations, not because it actually IS easier to be unobtrusive. Two women living together wouldn’t even be unobtrusive in the first place, if not for the stigmas rooted in tradition. Nevertheless, Hirai is so timid about her decision she keeps it a secret from her coworkers. Coworkers who judge without even considering that this living situation works well and makes Hirai content with her life.

People in certain societies are too attached to fascism and patriarchy, without even realizing it. Marriage and children happen for many with little forethought as to whether that’s something they actually want; furthermore, we’re taught to believe it’s normal to just do these things almost on autopilot. This is by design, as the cult of oppressed women can only thrive if they don’t open their eyes and look at what’s going on too much.

“As far as I was concerned, my decision to move in with Suganuma meant that I’d given up. A future in which I was married and had children was looking impossible.”

Hirai seems at times to feel uncertainty on whether or not she wants marriage and kids, also a common refrain among women raised to believe it is their purpose to create and raise families. This uncertainty creates an inner conflict on top of the external one - moving in with another woman would essentially close the door on a traditional family life. Not true in the grand scheme of things, but it’s easy to see why she would feel this way.

People cling to ideas of things when they can’t cling to the actual thing. I think a lot of men and women don’t necessarily want a family, they just want the idea of one. Suganuma runs a side hustle 3D-printing and selling figurines of people’s dead dogs so they can hold on to a memory of their pet. The dogs are hollow inside, a nod to the title, and suggestive of the notion that the memory can’t be held through a plastic 3D printed copy; rather, it’s held in your head and heart.

Similarly, Hirai and Suganuma must follow what their hearts want, not a copy of what everyone else is doing. Suganuma acquires a ‘burn box’, initially for all the dog misprints the 3D printer messes up; however, it becomes a dumping place for the traditional ideals the women wish to discard in their own lives. Hirai throws in a self-help book lent to her by a man (“I don’t read fiction, only self-improvement!”) on a date, a rejection of not just the man but dating them as a whole.

“In my life up to now, I had never once felt attracted to a man.”

As Suganuma goes on to develop a casual affair with a man she never intends to marry, Hirai makes an important discovery of her own - she is asexual and aromantic. I did not expect this representation, on top of highlighting single, childless older women, and it’s great. Hirai’s realization that she doesn’t just want to opt out of marriage and a family, she wants to opt out of romantic relationships altogether. And well, duh, because having sweet nothings whispered in your ear is actually so silly and funny and embarrassing, no?

And there’s some nuance between these two opt-outs. It’s one thing to not want a man in your space, providing financially while you bear and raise his children, etcetcetc. In the details here, we see that Hirai doesn’t even want a romance without marriage or children. She’s grossed out by holding hands (again, this is reasonable, I don’t know where your hand has been) and doesn’t really evaluate the men on her dating app through any kind of sexualized lens.

Hirai is eventually able to make peace with whether or not to have kids when Suganuma 3D-prints her a baby. An imperfect one that the printer messed up, but Hirai loves it because “it’s enough for me.”

There’s a commentary on work here, as well, a suggestion that the monotony of dull office work may contribute to people going after what is promised as the ‘dream life’ of starting a family. Hirai seems so bored at her job that she fixates on a coworker’s shirt for days. There is something beneficial to be said about a job that doesn’t have too much drama, intensity, stress, etc. But work that is deeply uninspiring extends into our personal lives, at times, leaving us uninspired to seek anything outside the status quo.

This is Convenience Store Woman vibes, minus the convenience store. Same translator! It’s a one-sitting read that packs a little punch. The only thing missing was the perimenopause lmao, but I’ll let that slide this time.

[G_occasionally_reads [semi-hiatus cuz work] · Rating 4 out of 5]

🥚 Short and straight to the point, this novella tells the story of Hirai, who lives with a roommate at the age of 38 which, according to society, is unacceptable. Cause ofc society wants us married with kids at 38. It does not want us questioning rules, it does not want us to build a path for ourselves that is different from the one of others.
🕳️ Asako Otani does an excellent job at describing Hirai's struggles to fulfill society's expectations while her mind, heart and entire body (literally) wants something different.
🐕 This book might be short and uneventful but it touched me (I just turned 40 and I surely do not fit society's expectations).

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very brief book, mostly a character study of two early-middle-aged women in Japan. Both unmarried and likely to remain so, they live together and the narrator gradually analyzes their lives and how they fit in with cultural expectations of work, marriage, children, and so on. They are both sort of floating through time, minimally motivated professionally and socially; the biggest emotional outburst happens when a member of their favorite boy band gets married. As a single, childless, unmarried woman at 43, I can relate to the drifting and anxiety about the pull of lifestyle expectations and occasional pointlessness of it all....but I haven't figured out what I make of the ending, which doesn't necessarily arrive at any specific conclusions. And maybe that's the most accurate outcome? Because there is no "arriving," only choices and living, but I don't know whether I want that from my books or not.
/stream of consciousness musing on meaning
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for the arc!

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 rounding down to 3 stars.

I wrote on my Instagram review of this book that I had a hard time seeing this be anyone's new favorite book - LOL I see plenty of mutuals who gave this 4 or 5 and utterly loved it/found it very relatable, so what do I know?

I wish I'd felt the same. I liked this well enough, 3.5 for me is acknowledging there was craft, care, and nuance in this story, I liked various elements, but at 100 pages it felt too short for me and didn't fully explore some of the themes that I'd wanted it to. Still, as a person in his mid/late 30s, single, and on the outside of society as a queer person, this resonated with me to a degree - how much of what we really want is because it's our desire as opposed to what society imposes on us?

There's food for thought here, and I liked the ending. It just could have been so much more fully developed/fleshed out. Someone likened this to Mieko Kawakami's writing, and I'm not a fan of her or her writing at all, so perhaps it's just a me problem.

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Two single women in Tokyo navigate work, friendship, and the pressure to date and settle down, while questioning whether they actually want the lives society expects of them.

For such a short and quiet story, this spoke very loudly. I thought it was fantastic, full of personality and humour while still tackling important themes.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Julia Ríos · Rating 4 out of 5]

Un libro que te hace reflexionar sobre el sentido de la vida.

¿Por qué dos amigas no pueden decidir vivir juntas con más de 40 años si la vida está planteada para vivir en pareja sin que se las juzgue continuamente?

[brokebookmountain · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started reading Hollow Inside on my phone in the standing zone near the barricade, waiting for Magdalena Bay — a great artist, progressive and experimental but in the best way possible — to perform for their concert at my university. I know: it sounds pretentious and performative, but I was just too bored to be standing there doing nothing, and I went to the concert alone so I had nobody to talk to. And since I wasn't in the mood to make conversation with strangers, I thought I'd read a couple pages just to have something to get my mind off the dreadful tedium of waiting.

They arrived 30 minutes later, but it did not feel that long because I was so absorbed in this book. Honestly, the artist and concert have little to do with the book, I just wanted to make a point on how Otani successfully weaves a dull premise — two 40-somethings women started a life of platonic cohabitation for each other's companionship — into an engrossing tale on marriage, sexuality, and the dilemma of having or not having a child. I was truly into the story and finished it the same day I read it.

The writing reminds me of Nanae Aoyama and Mieko Kawakami — Hollow Inside is definitely reminiscent of All the Lovers in the Night — in that Otani writes in an unassuming manner, but sprinkled in the book are lines that just swept me off the floor, making me reflect and think about marriage, parenthood, and whether society's normal is something one wants to partake in or not.

Instead of the question of coerced conformity i.e. society pressures you to get married and have children à la Convenience Store Woman, Otani brings up the question of personal desires vs social pressures, and how the line between those two might be more of a gray area than one thinks. Are your personal desires truly personal, or were they influenced by social pressures and familial trauma? Is choosing to have children or to get married means that you are surrendering to societal standards? Hirai's dilemma on marriage felt personally relatable, especially her views on how she personally doesn't see marriage as the be-all and end-all in life.

The pressures of society and the judgements they have towards actions that they deem abnormal are still very much present in the narrative, but it is not as haunting as the what-ifs, the fear and anxiety one might have on making the decision itself to not conform. The fear of regretting your choices and the guilt of throwing it all away is the emphasis in this story, which has always been something that haunts me when I think about my own personal choice to opt out of marriage and parenthood (I'm not completely closed off to the option, but I don't hold it much value either). I ended up loving it, even though it isn't a life-changing book. Sometimes a good book is a book that just gets you.

I found the second half of the book to be more interesting than the first half, but overall it is still a thought-provoking, poignant read. The ending where we see Hirai becoming content with the 3D-printed dud baby instead of a real one is really a very smart callback to the whole story of the 3D-printed dead chihuahua being "hollow inside". Even if it's not what society wants, it is still a life Hirai cherishes, a life where she can choose to not be with a man and to not have children. Maybe a life of choosing yourself over society would be a choice of potential loneliness and isolation, but at least it's a choice you truly value and believe in, rather than a choice that will eat away at your soul, wondering if maybe, just maybe, you had chosen yourself.

4 ⭐️

Thank you to Edelweiss and Pushkin Press for the review copy!

[Cris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Para mí es un 3.5
Me la he leído en un solo día, es una historia ligera y cotidiana. Me ha gustado porque se entiende (y se vive) la incomodidad de la protagonista tal y como lo describe la autora. Al principio me ha parecido curioso que en Japón sea algo inusual que dos mujeres alrededor de los 40 se planteen no casarse, compartir piso juntas y la (no)maternidad. Luego he caído en que en realidad aquí aún hay muchas personas que lo ven algo "demasiado" progresista. Trata también sobre la asexualidad, un tema del que se habla y trata poco en general. El final me ha gustado por lo inesperado, raro y original.

[Pau · Rating 3 out of 5]

Me gustó el ritmo del libro, pero entre los idols y el final quedé WTF 😂

[Cecilia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Un relato breve pero que pone sobre la mesa un tema muy actual, que es la decisión de muchas mujeres de no buscar más pareja, con las dudas y cuestionamientos que acompañan esa decisión: ¿hay algo mal conmigo? ¿Debería congelar mis óvulos por si acaso? ¿Es tan raro compartir piso con otra mujer de mi edad? ¿La gente pensará que somos pareja? ¿Es tan importante lo que piense la gente? ¿Me arrepentiré si decido no ser mamá?

Con una pluma delicada su autora nos presenta un entorno cotidiano cargado de dudas en torno a lo que significa ser una mujer soltera cerca de los 40 años. Esto a través de la historia de dos amigas que deciden salirse de lo que la sociedad espera de ellas.

Me gustaría volver a leer a su autora, me cautivó totalmente en esta que es su primera novela

3,5 estrellas

[lee_readsbooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This short novel ended up being one of the most relatable reads I’ve had this year. The protagonist feels repulsed by men but still longs for companionship and the possibility of having a child. As an asexual reader, I found her inner world deeply recognisable. A quiet, introspective book about loneliness, connection, and the many forms family can take.

[Suki J · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Pushkin Press and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

In this translated Japanese novella we follow Hirai, a woman in her late 30s who decides to move in with Suganuma, her female friend in her 40s.
Neither woman is interested in the idea of a romantic relationship with a man, although they feel continual pressure from their families and the people around them.
As the story progresses they question their own attitudes and what they really want.

I found this an interesting look into societal expectations, tackled in a gently funny and quirky way, and it reminded me a little of Convenience Store Woman.
I'm happy to have found another Japanese author to watch out for, this was great.

[LX · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you so much for the e-arc!

3.5

I liked how this questions the expectations of women. Women are supposed to get married and have babies to many people and society still pushes that idea. The stigma non-married, childless women get is beyond flabbergasted for someone who just wants to live their own life the way they want, not what is expected of them.

Also would say some representation of being asexual which again gets the discussion on expectations of people.

How this is written to express the above and put that forward was great but the ending just left me wanting just something a tad more, for my own taste of course!

[Serhiy · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is more of a short story that explores a meh-taphor about the protagonist's internal emptiness. It is padded by day-in-the-life descriptions, with minor conflict, and a resolution that feels more like a start of a much more interesting book.

The raspy helium voice narrator was also a struggle to listen to.

[Carleen Harring · Rating 3.75 out of 5]

Quick car ride read on the way to NY!

[em · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting commentary on womanhood, motherhood, and what it means to belong in society. Although a short story, this still conveyed important themes and the questions around being a modern, working woman. A great read.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for kindly providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review. #HollowInside #NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

[Ina Groovie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sin ser una apasionada por la literatura japonesa, me he ido acercando cada vez más a esta. Per debo confesar que probablemente esta novela breve me resonó más porque se siente occidental en muchas formas. Una pareja de amigas en sus 40s deciden compartir departamento por varias razones (desde económicas a emocionales) y un evento parasocial con un idol de su juventud renueva las preguntas a medio dormir: ¿soy suficiente? ¿Soy vista? Maternidad, pareja, trabajo, valor personal y vacíos se atan fuerte hasta que la novela se abre en una corta y esperable revelación.