Seek the Risk: One Man's Journey into Non-Monogamy

by Adam Anonymous

A firsthand recounting of a wide-open relationship, told with unflinching candor from the male perspective.

Adam had spent most of his life pursuing adventure—climbing some of the world’s steepest mountains, snowboarding dangerous backcountry terrain, and BASE jumping off of cliffs. Jane was a sex educator with a PhD in psychology, a female sexuality empowerment activist—and a self-described slut, who rejected monogamy and the societal norms of what a sexually well-behaved woman should be. No stranger to extreme living and taking risks, Adam thought he could handle whatever his relationship with Jane threw at him. But the very public, open-as-fuck relationship was more than his strong male persona could bear. Rather than walk away and protect his ego, Adam applied the lessons he had learned about fear while free soloing high up on rock faces and free diving a hundred feet below the surface of the sea to navigate an even more terrifying situation—the woman he loved having lots of sex with lots of other men. Neither a celebration of non-monogamy nor a cautionary tale, Seek the Risk is a firsthand account of what one extreme sports competitor went through after falling in love with the “wrong girl.” His journey forced him to reevaluate his ideals about relationships, female sexuality, and his own masculinity. It was also the wildest ride of his life.


- “A roller-coaster ride of wild sex, crazy adventures, and exploration of the self. This is the kind of book I thought I was going to read when I picked up Fifty Shades of Grey .”

- “An incredibly compelling story that I couldn’t put down. It’s also the most honest portrayal of non-monogamy I have ever read.”

- “Absolutely amazing. This will now be required reading for present and future boyfriends.”

- “Adam’s fast-and-loose style of storytelling brings you in without distracting you with anything other than full immersion in the moment.”

Genres: Nonfiction

276 pages, Paperback

Published June 22, 2023

About the author

Adam Darrow (aka: Adam Anonymous)

Adam's philosophy centers on experience hunting, the idea of seeking out meaningful, transformative experiences without attachment to outcomes. His compelling style of story telling encourages you to step out of your comfort zone, confront fears, and embrace life's uncertainties with courage and curiosity. His journey is a testament to the power of living boldly and fully, always in search of the next adventure.

Raised by parents who were passionate about the arts and culture in a turbulent 1980's New York City, Adam developed a love for exploration and pushing boundaries. After spending his 20's participating and competing in various extreme sports Adam left to pursue a business focused professional career applying his experience hunting philosophy to his endeavors. What resulted has been as diverse as his passions, with professional adventures ranging from Wall Street to photography to teaching high school to home restoration. Through it all, Adam has embraced both the risks and rewards that come with a life lived on the edge.

His memoir Seek the Risk delves into his journey into non-monogamy, exploring love, sex, and masculine identity, through an unconventional relationship. Adam's story is one of self-discovery, where he confronts his fears, embraces his desires, and challenges societal norms. His writing is brutally honest and introspective, sharing his journey to live fully and encouraging others to do the same. He invites us to question our own lives, explore beyond the conventional, and find deeper meaning in every experience.

Reviews

[Ferran · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have no words to express how this book has helped me understand myself and my feelings in some of my past and present relationships. I feel that I'm not crazy neither alone on the way I sometimes feel and think. Adam's way of explaining his story and the way he has progressed in his self-exploratoon made me more motivated than ever to keep exploring non-monogamy and live my life in an open and understanding way.

[Stephanie Stoffella · Rating 4 out of 5]

A man’s first hand experience with non monogamy. Adam was always a thrill seeker not just in the bedroom but in extreme sports as well. Relating those experiences to his relationship with Jane was an interesting viewpoint. When first approached with the idea of an open relationship, he thinks he won at life! Instead, he was forced to rethink his viewpoint on everything he thought he knew of both himself as well as the opposite sex.

[Neil · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think in the subject area of ENM you come across books or stories that aren’t the same as your approach. This can be challenging in good ways and also affirm how you feel and approach relationships. The relationship in this book is one I wouldn’t choose but also it was a fun journey and I really appreciated how the author used their experience with extreme sports to model how they worked through relationship challenges.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book. I felt it was refreshing and incredibly self aware. Adam showed unabashed vulnerability, honesty, and growth throughout his story, which is one that doesn't follow societal norms.
A great look behind the taboo curtain into very real lives and how it can work well, and how it can crash and burn without honesty, openness, self-reflection, vulnerability, trust, and love. And how, with all those elements, when a relationship unfortunately breaks down, how beautiful a friendship can come out of the ashes.

[Rachel M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential reading for the non-monogamy-curious. Adam’s book will make you feel less alone, more understood, and deeply validated in your desire for an unconventional relationship. His powers of self-analysis and inner exploration are razor-sharp. Plus it’s a totally sexy read.