Saffron Cross: The Unlikely Story of How a Christian Minister Married a Hindu Monk

by J. Dana Trent

A Christian minister and a Hindu monk fall in love and get married. How does this interfaith relationship work?
Saffron Cross is the intriguing memoir of the relationship between Dana, a Baptist minister, and Fred, a devout Hindu and former monk. The two meet on eHarmony and begin a fascinating, sometimes daunting but ultimately inspiring journey of interfaith relationship and marriage.
Dana's compelling vignettes, laced with self-deprecating humor and refreshing honesty, give you a glimpse into the challenges and benefits of bringing together two vastly different spiritual paths into one household.
Saffron Cross includes chapters on Dana and Fred's honeymoon at an ashram in India, their individual spiritual journeys, Sabbath keeping, vegetarianism, grief, community, and more. You will sense what an adventure their East-meets-West partnership has been, and you'll also see how much Fred's commitment to his faith has enhanced Dana's Christian growth.
At a time when we are inundated with messages of intolerance and hate, Saffron Cross offers a welcome and inspiring story of empathy, love, and understanding.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Religion, Christianity, Hinduism

143 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2013

About the author

J. Dana Trent is a speaker, professor, award-winning spirituality author, and minister. A graduate of Duke Divinity School, she teaches world religions and critical thinking at Wake Technical Community College in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Reviews

[Coral Rose · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess I'm disappointed - I was under the impression that Dana was a minister in the sense of leading a church, but she's more of a lay ordained in the Southern Baptist tradition, which isn't the same.

I came away feeling that she felt her husband's traditions were richer and more meaningful than her own, and the majority of the book seemed focused on her growing understanding of his tradition rather than a mutual growing understanding.

She portrays her husband a little saint-like, his only flaw being how perfectionist he is in his religious devotion. She paints herself as needy, and him as transcendent. He comes across harsh when chastising her imperfect practice of his religion, but other than that just seems one-dimensional.

I don't know. I guess I was interested in how marriage works when you really believe your spouse is lost, because that seems unfathomable to me, but instead I read about an all but Unitarian married to an saintly Hindu, which seems to me to be far less tension to deal with.

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did like this book even though I was shocked to find that they have only been married just over two years. I was frustrated by the fact that Fred was allowed to mock Dana's beliefs during a worship service (laughing at hymn #666). Dana, however, was chastised for making errors in ignorance during Hindu retreats. I had hoped that Fred would accompany Dana on a Christian retreat as she went to so many Hindu events. I was also saddened that Dana seemed to perceive Christianity as a Sunday religion and not as a daily practice. That has not been my experience. The bible does instruct us to "pray without ceasing". This was an interesting look at Hinduism from a Christian perspective. I hope that Dana will consider sharing more after they have celebrated a 10th or 20th anniversary. I'd love to hear how this lovely partnership weathers the years. I hope it grows, flourishes and mellows.

[Patty · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one of the books I picked up at Book Expo that I kept for myself. Partly because the author signed it directly to me and also because I was intrigued by the topic. I don't know any ministers married to monks.

Although I liked this book well enough, I was disappointed in it. I can't articulate what I thought would be in this book, but there just didn't seem to be enough depth. More about Hinduism would have been useful, even more about the Baptists would have helped.

I don't understand how the Baptist Church works - I am not even sure what part of the Baptist denomination Trent is from. Not knowing created one issue for me. In my church, pastors are not ordained until after seminary. Trent was ordained before she attended Duke Divinity School.

Overall this is an interesting book because I doubt there are many books about Christians, Hindus and their interfaith marriages.

I read this book because I received it at the Book Expo. I can't imagine coming up with another book that would link to this one.

I can't think of anyone to recommend this memoir to.

[Leigh Kramer · Rating 3 out of 5]

After reading Trent's guest post for Rachel Held Evans' on interfaith marriage, I was intrigued by her memoir. What would marriage look like between a Christian minister and a Hindu monk? Is there middle ground there? Well, more so than I originally would have thought. It does seem Trent immerses herself more in Hinduism than her husband immerses himself in Christianity. Or perhaps it seems that way because her husband appears more devoutly religious than she does. Then again, they've only been married a couple of years and for this reason, I wish she'd waited a few more before writing their story. It's one worth sharing but perhaps would benefit from a little more distance as they figure out how to blend their faiths and just plain get used to being married. There were some beautiful reflections throughout this memoir and I walked away having a more nuanced understanding of both faith traditions. I don't think I could marry someone who does not share my faith but I appreciated learning about this couple and the way they're making it work.

[M.A. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this title from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

Dana Trent is an ordained Southern Baptist minister from the south, a divinity school graduate and a somewhat lukewarm Christian. She meets Fred, a Hindu convert with a a deep and abiding faith. They fall in love and attempt to meld the two religions and cultures in an interfaith marriage. The book is a look at the first five years of their relationship and the struggles and victories of forging an unusual path.

I enjoyed the book and it was a short, easy read. However Trent often comes across as so in awe of her husband's spiritual depth and taken aback by what she perceives as her own spiritual weakness that it can be frustrating at times. The writing style itself is simplistic and easy to follow and is entirely earnest. Worth a read as long as expectations of a mind-shattering interfaith journey are kept to a minimum.

[Kat Robey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I share the belief that God is everywhere, all the time. I would like to see more depth, more seeking within for Dana, more balance in what each believes about their faith and how powerful it is to bring their faiths together. This felt more like a comparison of what’s “right” stemming from Dana’s insecurity and Dana leaning on Fred and acceptance from others for her own validation.

I’d be interested in a sequel to this from a more mature author, more mature marriage, and a deeper perspective.

Something like “Pilgrimage of the Saffron Cross” offering an update on their union, more lessons learned, more depth, and more ways for the reader to integrate doubts, faith, and tolerance into their walks with their God.

[Kari]

The title basically says it all. I enjoyed learning more about Hinduism, but as the book went on, I felt like Dana only talked about her own flaws as a person of faith rather than also showing where they have compromised. I was a little bit disappointed not to hear more about Fred as a person - it made him seem a little bit overly perfect to only focus on his spiritual devotion. This is a cool story but I think fleshing it out would have helped a lot. Recommended for: people who want to learn more about Hinduism from a Christian perspective.

[Johnwmorehead · Rating 3 out of 5]

According to recent research by Naomi Schaefer Riley, the number of interfaith marriages is increasing. 45% of all marriages in the last decade involved couples from differing religious traditions. Riley’s research also shows that these marriages are not easy. Although we live in an age that is calling for increasing religious tolerance, this does not make the daily struggles of interfaith marriage any easier to wrestle with.

These difficulties are illustrated in Saffron Cross, where Dana Trent, a Christian minister with connections to the Southern Baptist Convention, shares her experiences in an interfaith marriage with her husband Fred, a Hindu and former monk. This is an interesting volume that provides insights into what the partners in such marriages experience, and it includes lessons for those outside of such marriages. Their experiences navigating such relationships have much to teach us in navigating religious pluralism.

The book begins dramatically with Dana sharing her “sex-free honeymoon” in the village of Vrindavan in India. Dana is transparent with the reader as she shares her strong displeasure with many aspects of Indian life due to its very different complexion as a Two Thirds World country. Everything that Westerners, and Americans in particular, take for granted on a daily basis, from safe driving on city streets to fresh running water to the easy availability of toilet paper, are readily available in poverty-stricken India. As this chapter unfolds, Dana also shares her growing awareness of the differences between her experiences in the Western expression of the Christian faith and that of the Eastern religion of Hinduism. Unlike the American experience where religion is often relegated to the private sphere of the individual, in India religion is the center of every aspect of daily life. Beyond that, its basic worldview assumptions, rituals, beliefs, and forms of worship, are very different from the Southern Baptist church experience that Dana was used to back in the U.S. After the honeymoon experience in India, the couple’s return to North Carolina comprised the early stages of the challenges of an interfaith marriage.

Dana and Fred met as a result of using the eHarmony online dating service. When completing her profile on the question “What faith(s) would you accept as a partner?” (28), she opted for an openness to a wide variety of religious traditions, thinking that as a self-identified Christian the chances that the service would connect her with someone distant from her religious preferences was unlikely. She was wrong. Soon she was contacted by Fred, who identified himself as a religious person, and a former monk. Dana assumed he meant something in the Roman Catholic tradition. Instead she would learn that Fred had previously pursued the path of the Hindu monk in the Gaudiya Vaishnavism tradition. This is most familiar to Americans through the work of A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada in the 1960s popularly known as the “Hare Krishna Movement.” This was a little off-putting for Dana, who early on in their dating made efforts to try to persuade Fred to be baptized and return to the Christianity he had negative experiences with in his youth.

Fred and Dana found great interest in each other’s religions and experiences, and in dating they also worked through various interfaith tensions that naturally arose. After the couple married these continued, and at one point seriously intensified, so much so that they came to question whether or not the marriage could survive. But Fred and Dana were just as committed to each other as they were to their differing religious pathways, and the book describes the challenges they faced and how they successful navigated through them as a married couple. As a result, Dana describes not only how she has grown closer to Fred, but also how her Christian faith has deepened and expanded. As Dana describes it, “Immersion into a religious tradition different from my own did not convert me, mix me up, or derail me” (26).

As mentioned in the introduction to this review, this volume is not only helpful for learning about interfaith marriages, it also provides food for thought on working through issues related to religious pluralism.

Dana describes herself as theologically progressive, and this is evident in several statements she makes in the book where she advocates a pluralistic understanding of religion. She says that, “the Holy Spirit lived and breathed in each representation of the Divine” (24), both Hindu and Christian; speaks of grasping “Hinduism’s validity as a bona fide spiritual path toward God” (47); says that at one point she “had no sense that Krishna was any different from Jesus” (60); and that “God was mercifully showing up as Jesus, Spirit, Vishnu, and Krishna” (140). Dana’s attempt at finding similarities between Christianity and Hinduism is laudable. And certainly these can be found. But while contrasting the religions with interpretive and analytic humility, and taking cultural considerations into account, we are left with the reality that religions teach very different things at a foundational level. We have to be careful in our search for religious unity that we don’t force this where it is not found. As Stephen Prothero has said in his book God is Not One, seeking religious unity in the name of tolerance that does not recognize real religious difference can lead to “naïve theological groupthink,”1 which he sees as dangerous rather than helpful.

This does not mean that Christians need to embrace a form of particularism or exclusivism that is hostile. In the book Dana shares her struggles with reconciling Christianity and Hinduism and says, “I was one of those Christians” (48, emphasis in original), referring to the narrow mindedness, defensiveness, and hostility that often characterizes Christian understandings and interactions with other religions. But this need not be the case. As Bob Robinson reminds us, one of the most famous Indian Christians, Sadhu Sundar Singh, was a particularist who “combined a deeply Christocentric faith with a quite positive attitude towards Hinduism.”2 Christians can practice a faith identity that is rooted in the love and example of Christ, even while recognizing irreconcilable differences with other religions.

Saffron Cross is an interesting story of an interfaith relationship. It promises to reward readers who want insights into an increasing marital trend, and thoughts for reflection on interreligious relationships in the pluralistic public square.

1. Stephen Prothero, God is Not One: The Eight Rival Religions That Run the World – and Why Their Differences Matter (New York: HarperOne, 2010), 3.
2. Bob Robinson, “Response to Bart Abbott,” Sacred Tribes Journal 8, no. 1 (2013), special theme edition on The Ethics of Evangelism: When is Proselytism Predatory?,” Kindle edition at http://tinyurl.com/nd3zzdc.



John W. Morehead is the Custodian of the Evangelical Chapter of the Foundation for Religious Diplomacy and the Director of the Western Institute for Intercultural Studies. He is the editor of Beyond the Burning Times: A Pagan and Christian in Dialogue (Lion, 2009), and works in interreligious dialogue in the areas of Islam, Mormonism, and Paganism.

[Sharon Hardin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting story of interfaith marriage. The sequence of events was a bit confusing with jumps from honeymoon to childhood and adolescent influences to early marriage to college to retreats in two different chapters, etc. The story covers their early histories, dating, and the first two years or so of marriage, so there will be new challenges and adventures for them ahead. I hope the author and her husband will continue the story and I wish them every happiness in creating an unusual faith partnership and a fulfilling marriage.

[Jocelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

To quote Larry the Cucumber, “I laughed, I cried, it moved me,Bob.”
After reading this book, I felt like I could be besties with Dana and Fred. Dana’s writing is fresh, open, entertaining, and enlightening.
My biggest take-away from this book was that they never tried to change each other. Their mutual love and respect for each other has enhanced their love and respect for their different faiths as well.

[Jon Kidwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

The "Saffron Cross" by Dana Trent is a quick read four year adventure of an inter-faith couple who are both devout in their own traditions.

Dana was raised Southern Baptist and went through all the Baptist rites of passage, to the point that she became ordained in the church. I know what you're thinking.... I don't know of any Southern Baptist Church that has women ministers. Lest we forget the autonomy of Southern Baptist churches in the the collective.

After much encouragement, and hope from her mother, and her loving church family, Dana yielded to the call to the ministry in her North Carolina church. Subsequently, she attended Duke University's Theological Seminary.

The TV commercial of Neil Clark Warren got Dana's attention one day, and she decided to use Mr. Warren's e-Harmony online dating service to find a man to date.

Enter....Fred... another e-Harmony member who was matched to Dana. Their date turned into a second date, then a third, then a budding friendship, and finally a romantic relationship. The challenge our two protagonists must overcome is that Fred is a former Hindu monk, and though he has left the cloistered monastery for life outside the walls, he is still a very devout practicing Hindu.

This book journalizes their unique relationship, as they both pursue God through their own traditions, yet, respect the traditions of one another. Their relationship grows into a deeply spiritual marriage, where they oftentimes struggle to overcome their cultural differences, philosophical differences, and even simple every day minor things.

I believe this book is food for the soul of others contemplating an inter-faith marriage of their own, as well as everyday Christians married to everyday Christian spouses. Get the book, and read about how these two lovely souls overcame their challenges, and let their lives be examples to you of how one pursues God.

I highly recommend this book to the select audience previously mentioned. It is entertaining, heart-warming, and just plain interesting. At times, its a love story. At times, its a theological treatise. And at times, its an inspirational read, showing us that there are people out there who are totally committed to finding God, and resting in his presence, regardless of the place, the sect, or the faith.

4 Stars for this one.

I received this book as an ARC (Advanced Readers Copy) from the publisher, Upper Room Books, in exchange for an honest review. I have no personal or professional ties with the author or the publisher.

This review will appear in NetGalley.com; Goodreads.com; my personal blog "JonReviewsBooks1.Wordpress.com". It will also appear on Amazon.com when the title is opened up for reader reviews.

[Bridget · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's difficult to review a book when you know the author. Hell, it's difficult sometimes to read a book when you know the author because it's hard to remove the literal sound of their voice from your head and to form an opinion on the work alone, without considering the author's intention. In my MFA program, it was common to say "Write as if everyone you know is dead" to remove the feeling that you can't say something because Aunt Shirley will be offended. In the same way, I had to read Saffron Cross as if it's not possible to call Dana up and ask her to deconstruct a line of text on page 37. (For full disclosure, I've known Dana for nearly 5 years and Fred for over 20 years now.)

The above said, I really enjoyed this book and found the writing to be very engaging without alienating a reader who might not be familiar with specific religious customs.
I agree with some other reviewers that commented that the book focuses more heavily on Dana learning about the Hindu faith than on Fred learning about Christianity. That said, it's Dana's book -- written in her voice about her experience in her marriage. If I was writing a religious memoir or really a book like this one that defies easy categorization on the shelf, I definitely would feel strange about putting words in my spouse's mouth or presuming to speak at length about what they felt or believed or learned from our relationship. It's natural to me as an author that there is more focus on what she learned from her relationship rather than re-stating the story of her own (and intimately familiar to her)faith.
I'd also on a more detail oriented note argue that there are WAY more Christians than Hindus in the US and the audience for this book is overwhelmingly Christian, most of whom do not need a through Christian education beyond pointing out the nuances of what constitutes a specifically Southern Baptist tradition.

Overall, this is not Inter-faith Marriage for Dummies (though you should jump on writing that title in the future Dana!) It's not a self-help book for anyone else, though if someone were to find something within the text that helps them in their own relationship that would make perfect sense. It's the story of their marriage specifically and how their faith traditions both crash and blend together and what works for them.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Protestant marrying a Catholic could fit the bill for an interfaith marriage. A Christian marrying a Hindu defines the bill. I liked the premise of Dana and Fred's marriage as soon as I saw the subtitle, let alone once I actually started reading. Take the disagreements/adjustments of a "normal" (ie, same wavelength on key values like outlook and religion) marriage and multiply it by ten. Even Dana at times thought it wouldn't last. Ultimately, making a firm commitment to practice Hinduism and Christianity together made them grow as a couple and in their respective faiths. I love how instead of dividing and alienating, their East and West religions became a source of unity. Of course, I googled J. Dana Trent after finishing the book to make sure she and Fred were still hitched, and they are.

[Richard B · Rating 3 out of 5]

A short but enjoyable read. This is a memoir written by a local Southern Baptist minister about her relationship with a former Hindu Monk she met on eHarmony. It is both an exploration of the relationship and how two people with what on the surface would seem to be intensely different outlooks are able to make things work in the long run. It is also an exploration of faith and religious practice in general. A book for fans of memoir and those interest in spiritually.

[Bette Isacoff · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an interesting chronology of the lives of two people from similar backgrounds whose religious pursuits diverge as they mature. She stays close to her Baptist roots and is ordained a minister; he turns away to become a Hindu monk. How they blend their beliefs and lifestyles as they become a couple makes for some entertaining and thought-provoking reading.

[Jennifer Hege · Rating 5 out of 5]

Saffron Cross is an inside story of how a Southern Baptist minister is married to and lives with a former Hindu Monk. I loved the book in getting to know mroe about the Hindu religion. As a Christian minister myself - I feel well versed in the Christian tradition. I'm excited for her next book.

[Brittany Henderson Dhawan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was an amazing piece, straight from the heart and full of practical advice. And as a fellow Christian marrying a Hindu it was full of practical advice on how to deal with the regular everyday problems and opportunities...

[Florinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

reviewed for Shelf Awareness, October 2013: http://www.shelf-awareness.com/ar/rea...

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I so enjoyed this book! What a combination-Baptist and Hindu! Just confirms that we're more alike than we are different. And if you get the chance to hear Dana speak, GO!!!

[Samira · Rating 2 out of 5]

The amount of exoticism in this book was truly disgusting.