Creating Myself: How I Learned That Beauty Comes in All Shapes, Sizes, and Packages, Including Me

by Mia Tyler

On the surface, Mia Tyler led a seemingly perfect life. She was a world-renowned plus-size model and the daughter of Aerosmith's Steven Tyler and seventies It girl Cyrinda Foxe. But growing up under the shadow of celebrity wasn't as glamorous as it's cracked up to be. From a poverty-stricken childhood in New Hampshire to running with troubled rich kids on Manhattan's Upper East Side, she has an incredible story to tell.In "Creating Myself," Mia shares scintillating details about her rock-and-roll family, as well as battling her own personal demons: dumping her mother's cocaine vial down the toilet at just eight years old, running around backstage at her father's concerts (including the one where she first met her sister, Liv), and attempting to distract herself from her pain through drug addiction and self-mutilation. Yet this memoir is ultimately a tale of redemption. Mia learns that in order to truly grow up, she must forgive both herself and those who hurt her, give up the quest for perfection, and acknowledge that she is still a work in progress.

"Creating Myself" is raw and inspirational, the tale of a hell-and-back journey from the depths of depression and addiction to triumphant self-discovery.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Autobiography, Biography Memoir

304 pages, ebook

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

Mia Abagale Tallarico, better known as Mia Tyler, is an American actress, model, public speaker and advocate. She is the daughter of Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler, and actress Cyrinda Foxe.

Primarily a plus size fashion model and designer, Tyler launched her own clothing line, titled Revolution 1228, in February 2009.

At the age of 17, Tyler appeared on the MTV show House of Style. Tyler has been represented by the Wilhelmina modeling agency. She has appeared in such elite magazines as Seventeen, Teen, Teen People, Mode, Us, Jump, YM, Moxie Girl, Vogue and on the cover of Flare. She has also appeared on the runways of New York and Paris.

In 2005 Tyler was a member of the VH1 reality show Celebrity Fit Club, and featured in Really Rich Real Estate, also on VH1, in 2006. In March 2009, Tyler was a judge on Pretty Wicked, a reality show that airs on the Oxygen network.

She has had a few acting roles, including Marsha in Rush Hour 3, Inheridance, People Are Dead, and A Little Bit of Lipstick.

In 2008, Tyler released her autobiography Creating Myself.

Reviews

[Abby · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wow. I can't believe I wasted so much time on this one book. I didn't seek it out, but I found it on the shelves next to the books about fashion (which I DID seek out) and picked it up because it looked mildly interesting. Then I made the bad choice of taking it as my sole source of entertainment on a weekend trip and became so invested that I had to finish it, just to see if it got better by the end. (It didn't.)

This is by Mia Tyler, the daughter of Aerosmith singer Steven Tyler and one of his groupies (who he married briefly) from the seventies. There are several main points of this book:

1. The author hated her mother. I don't blame her; she sucked. She was a drug addicted, neglectful, horrible woman. However, she seems to adore her father, always begging him to let her live with him and talking about what a great dad he was, never seeming to register that this AMAZING dad left her for 18 years with a drug addicted, neglectful, horrible woman to care for her. If you love you kid, then why would you choose drugs, groupies and rock n' roll tours over her? Yep, he deserves Dad of the Year. I mean, he had a successful rock n' roll career, so that makes up for being a complete loser in every other aspect of his life, right?

2. This girl has done a LOT of drugs. Her dad put her in re-hab around 18 or 19ish (when she pointed out how grateful she was to have a dad like Steven Tyler who knew all about re-hab and could afford a really good one, neglecting the fact that she wouldn't NEED re-hab if her parents hadn't passed their drug habits on to her), and she seems to think she was a success because she wasn't as hard core a drug user afterwards. Yet about every page after her rehab stint she talks about smoking some pot or getting wasted on alcohol. So, what....? How is that recovered? She was even devastated when she miscarried a pregnancy about three weeks in, realizing with guilt she'd used coke for a few days with her husband the week or two prior, and this was six months after going off birth control. I don't think she's nearly as improved as she thinks she is. She has a loooooooong way to go before she is a healthy person.

3. She lost her virginity young (her promiscuous behavior and drug use I blame on her awful parents to a large extent, by the way), and sleeps with SO MANY guys in the book. Maybe I'm just an old married lady, but when she would say things like, "I am not a slut" and then talk about her fling from the night before that was preoccupying her thoughts, I say, your stupid actions speak louder than your words. I know, I know. You won't just sleep with ANYONE, Mia. He has to be hot and in front of you, and...not dead. And being involved in a band is a plus. And any time a guy wants to lose his virginity that night, you clearly can't say no to that, right?

4. She reports that her mom finally found a "good guy" right before she died of brain cancer. But this perfect guy that Mia had always dreamed of for her mom (who she hated) was a big scary looking dude who had done time in prison. So... when the perfect guy (in your mind) is an ex-criminal, I think you've set your standards really low. I hope this "good guy" doesn't read me writing this about him and come beat me up.

5. Not surprisingly, she had a bad marriage to an abusive man. She was engaged again to a new guy right before she wrote this book. Are they still together? I have no idea. All I know is that I hope Mia doesn't have kids. Not unless she can unscrew up her life 90,000%. Her mom has screwy parents, too. It just keeps going from on generation to another. The end of the book wraps up with her explaining some of her current relationship problems with this guy, but that they're working it out and now she has finally learned all of her lessons and is a responsible, cured human being. It sounds to me like the first chapter of the next disaster in her life to me. (Also, I loved the first time she met him, when a typo said she met a guy named "Brain". His name is actually Brian, of course. Even the editors couldn't stand to pay close attention by the end, when I saw several typos pretty close together.)

By the way, I am not all the impressed with models, plus sized or not. If you can do the job totally plastered, can it REALLY be that hard?

I thought the whole family was so dysfunctional, and I can't believe that Mia Tyler is supposed to be this great role model for young women. Because if you're a fat teenage girl, the only person you can look up to and model your life after is a fat super model, right? It doesn't matter if she is a drug addicted, irresponsible, promiscuous, crass, emotionally unstable, suicidal, law breaking psychopath. But she's fat and still thinks she's hot, so...put her on a pedestal. Mia Tyler is a role model. No wonder this world is so screwy! She should not be a role model. Surely I am not the only one noticed this, right? Or am I the only sane person willing to read her book?

[Dale Stonehouse · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wonder how many people write memoirs before they turn 30 years old? Not many, but since the author lived more as a child than most do in an entire lifetime, there is plenty of grist here. It is a mixed bag of the usual coming-of-age happenings and mishaps, parent-child conflict, parties,drugs and sex, but for Aerosmith fans there is also plenty about her dad, Steven Tyler. Turns out the man with such a wild reputation is a pretty nice guy if not the best father. For her age, Tyler has some pretty good insights on life, showing that all life experience can be valuable if learning takes place as a result.

[Shannon · Rating 2 out of 5]

I saw this one in the library a couple of weeks ago when I was checking the online catalog...turned my head and there it was. As most people know, I am an Aerosmith nut. And, I have to admit that I have been in sort of a depression about the news of Steven Tyler checking into rehab again and the rest of the band interviewing potential new lead singers (Billy Idol?!?! You HAVE to be kidding!!!) At any rate, I thought that this would be an interesting read. It was, in fact, a seriously guilty read...along the lines of reading People Magazine or watching America's Next Top Model!

Mia Tyler is Steven Tyler's daughter by his first wife, Cyrinda Foxe (Steven Tyler never married Liv Tyler's mom, Bebe Buell). Cyrinda Foxe was a 1970s "It Girl," having been taken under Andy Warhol's wing and parading through the club and drug scene of the day. After having an affair with Steven Tyler and getting pregnant once (subsequently aborted) and then getting pregnant again with Mia, they got married in her sixth month. Interestingly enough, Cyrinda got pregnant two more times after that and aborted both and Mia wonders in her book why her mother, who was conspicuously absent physically, mentally, and emotionally throughout much of her life, decided to keep her. What a sad thought that no child should ever have to have!

This book is more of a memoir than the subtitle of the book would lead one to believe. Tyler talks about her life growing up, her mother complaining about her father all the time, her mother's drug use, her mother's friends and boyfriends, her mother's lack of parenting skills. She speaks fondly of her father whom she believes, despite being a rock 'n' roll star and long absences while touring and recording, was and is a normal dad. Tyler talks about her descent into drug and alcohol use and somewhat promiscuous sex both at an early age, her stint in rehab at age 19, her very successful plus-size modeling career, and her failed and abusive marriage. The story ends as she is entering her 30s, engaged to be married again, and managing a "community" on MySpace and feeling good helping to solve others' problems...mind you, not that she has any formal training in social work or psychiatry or anything.

Despite the subtitle of the book, I am not so sure that Tyler has learned anything. I don't think that she ever had issue with her physical beauty or her weight so she never had to learn to accept those attributes. As for internal beauty, even though she berates her mother for not doing anything with her life, finding purpose, getting with it, etc. and, in general, talks a good game, I found Tyler to be much the same. Her life appeared to be aimless, without purpose, full of drugs/alcohol and other irresponsible behavior, and failed personal relationships. There were several times I just wanted to slap her upside the head, but, of course, she didn't have a very good role model or boundaries growing up so no wonder the cycle continued.

As an aside, the editing was pretty poor...and Simon and Schuster, which is a big publishing house, should be ashamed. I read this book pretty fast and the mistakes were pretty glaring even then.

At any rate, if you are into somewhat self-indulgent rocker chick stories about lots of sex, drugs, booze, and partying, this one is for you...

Oh and BTW, right after reading this book, I received an e-mail from the Aerosmith Official Fan Club that a new tour is being launched WITH Steven Tyler in his rightful place as lead singer. Yay!!!

[Laura Buechler · Rating 2 out of 5]

You can tell that Mia really wants her story to be important and interesting, but mostly it isn't.

[What Angie Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mia has always been one of my idols. I gave admired her hard work, her art, her modeling career.

She doesnt bank on her famous father and flaunt their wealth.

This book was a reread from when it came out. It is signed by her although I have yet to meet her.

She writes honest and openly about her life. It is about self worth, something I didn't really know about as a teen.

Now as a mom, I value all this. Mia is a fierce mom now, and even more relatable.

[Elevate Difference · Rating 4 out of 5]

Imagine growing up with these parents: Steven Tyler from Aerosmith and Cyrinda Foxe, a popular actress and model from the 1970s. At first glance, it might seem luxurious, glamorous, exciting, and fun to be part of this family, but Mia Tyler tells the real story of her experiences with her rock 'n roll mom and dad in Creating Myself.

From the first lines of the book, which reveal Tyler's intention to commit suicide in 2001, readers will find riveting details, shocking stories, and jaw-dropping secrets. For example, as an eight-year-old, Tyler had to pour her mother's vial of cocaine into the toilet, and later in life she struggled with her own drug addictions and self-mutilation.

But this book is much more than an exposé of a celebrity family; it is Mia's story of coping, growing, forgiving, moving on, and finding herself amidst the chaos and confusion of a rollercoaster home life. Stories and memories are shared, along with descriptions of birthdays, romances, family tension, crazy social sprees, and her work as a plus-size model. Tyler recounts her trials with using men, drugs, and food, and working to overcome these addictions. She even provides a detailed examination of her own sanity at different points in her life, and how her psychological well-being impacted her choices and the way she encountered the world.

Tyler's candid stories and honest self-evaluations reflect a woman who has been through a lot, has taken a good hard look at herself and the world around her, and has chosen to take the best approach possible by forgiving herself and her family, moving on, and deciding to take care of herself. She comes out stronger in the end, with seemingly endless love and wisdom to share.

Creating Myself will hit home with all readers, even those who don't share Tyler's celebrity status or her extreme past. Those who choose this book will find out that it is possible to take on—and overcome—all that the world has in store for us.

Review by Amanda Moss

[Stacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've liked Mia Tyler since I knew who she was (by this I mean a plus-size model, not Steven Tyler's daughter) - unfortunately, I had no idea who she was while she was a model; I found out when I passed by Celebrity Fit Club on VH1 once or twice. I loved how she had attitude - that she may not have lost pounds, but she fit her clothes better, and she felt better. This was an engrossing read - it was hard to put down - and I'm glad I read it. I'll never claim to understand self-mutilators, even to hear it from their perspectives, but I still appreciated it for what it was. My only real complaint was that she included in some MySpace forwards, which were really trite, but she points out that they had meaning to her at one time. So I can't begrudge her that, really.

[Pandora · Rating 2 out of 5]

Try as I might, I couldn't get more than halfway though this book. It certainly wasn't terrible, but there are so many other celeb-kid autobiographies out there - that DON't make you want to punch the writer. Mia's writing style is okay, but you just can't really feel that sorry for her. She's whiny, priveliged and knows it, but doesn't have enough charm to wink at the reader and say 'hey, I really haven't had it *that* bad, have I?' I much prefer Fierceby Kelly Osbourne, who seemed to get her shit together by the end, and copped a lot more flak than Tyler ever did.

[Kenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an absolutely beautiful book. She was honest, she let down all of her walls and we saw her for who she truly is: a survivor. She didn't sugarcoat anything. I've read this book at least twice if not three times for when I need a bit of uplifting and when I'm feeling insecure. It's a lovely well-written book recollecting Mia's journey to loving herself despite what the critiques say. I loved this book and recommend to everyone willing to read it!

[Deanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok, I'm not into the celebrity autobiographies or any of the sort AT ALL... but I absolutely loved this book. I found that she was extremely down to earth and honest all or most of the time. Who in Hollywood or any fame at all can say that? I loved her willingness to put it all out there and try to help others and inspire. I'll just end it with, I really enjoyed it.

[Karen Slater]

Review

Mia wrote a book that helps people to look at their own lives and actions. She showed a lot of courage in writing this book. Mia shared a lot of her issues in her life, and her growth from her life's issues. I'm sure Mia you're family is proud of your accomplishments.

[Steph · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will be the first to admit that I am not typically one to read celeb autobiographies. But I stumbled across this book while sorting through my array of books that I am boxing up and thought, ‘why not?’ Once I realized that the author was also a former cutter, I was hooked. It’s not a subject that many people enjoy talking about, but it really resonated with me. I quickly became engrossed with the words and couldn’t stop reading. While Mia obviously had a privileged life in some regards, she also had to grow up quickly. An interesting read told in a manner that allowed me to envision myself right beside her.

[Arlenea Higginbotham · Rating 5 out of 5]

how to love yourself

At 49 I had never quite put together it is not about finding one’s self but creating ourselves. It sounds so simple. Fairy tales and tv have done such a disservice to many. We expect to be Rescued if we are loved. We need to learn to thrive.

[Amanda Phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it!

[amie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars.
Fun and sad and hopeful. The book is 11 years old now and I wish I knew more about her current life.

[Juliette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a Warhol muse/Rock n' Roll groupie/former actress for a mom? Me either, but now that I have read Mia Tyler's memoir about growing up with her mother, Cyrinda Foxe, I know at least one version of this story. Mia Tyler's dad, of course, is Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler. Before bedding and wedding Steven Tyler, Cyrinda was with David Bowie, and later, married New York Doll David Johansen. After divorcing Johansen, she married Tyler in the late 1970s. They had Mia about a year later, and then proceeded to slowly drift apart. Cyrinda & Mia lived in the woods of New Hampshire while Tyler toured the world, and had other relationships (and kids) with women. Cyrinda and Tyler divorced, and the strained relationship between the two had a major impact on Mia's childhood. As you can imagine, her childhood was filled with neglect, abandonment and isolation. During Mia's teen years, she and Cyrinda moved back to NYC, home of Cyrinda's glory days. Most nights, Cyrinda was out reliving the Studio 54 days with her fading fame and beauty, while Mia courted the hard partying, club kid life you'd expect from a teenager with access to rock star money and absent parents. Mia writes about her deep drug addiction, anger and resentment toward her mother, issues with her own search for purpose in life, success as a model, painful marriage to a dude from Papa Roach, her divorce, and eventual sobriety. I love reading memoirs, especially ones that have a connection to rock and roll 1970s life, and this book touches nicely on that history. I would give it 3 1/2 stars. I read this on an airplane and was very entertained. I wish Mia would have included photos from her modeling portfolio (there isn't a single modeling shot!) Also, she is really hard on her mother, which seems fair, but is really light on her criticism of her dad, which seemed unfair, as he was absent and was also a big part of her neglect-filled childhood. I imagine that since her dad is still living, she went easy on the old guy.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mia was on her own pretty much since puberty. Her (in)famous parents, Steven Tyler and Cyrinda Foxe were never there for her when she needed them the most. Her mother WAS there physically for most of her early years but she was never REALLY present since she was extremely self-absorbed and constantly bemoaning her lot in life. Mia's dad, Steven Tyler wasn't a bad dad, he just wasn't there for her as much as she would have liked and she accepted this, knowing who he was but she could never get over her mother's lack of involvement in her life, Her mother was always on the hunt to better herself and really couldn't be bothered with raising a child.
Mia's life during her teen's and twenties were definitely filled with sex, drugs and rock and roll - Emphasis on drugs. Then a marriage to "Papa Roach" drummer came along when Mia was still searching for a place to belong where she felt safe in this tumultuous world of hers. After her marriage ended, she found herself afloat and thankfully with the support from family members and loving friends, She got back on her feet and eventually found her one true love.
Mia Tyler has become a strong and caring young women, with the help of others, but truth be told, Mia is a lovely, compassionate person due to her inner strength.
I wasn't sure how I would respond to to a biography about Steven Tyler's daughter by I was pleasantly surprised by her writing style and sped through every chapter. Mia Tyler is one interesting young women and deserves all the good things that come her way!!

[Shelby Upton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have owned Creating Myself for about 3 years now and I've tried reading it but never really could get into it until now. I am very happy that I started reading this book again and actually stuck with it because this book was freaking awesome! When the book first opens up Mia gives you a visual of when she almost committed suicide and she hooks you from there. After the first chapter she goes back to when she was younger and goes through points in her life that pretty much brought her to this point of almost committing suicide. I would like to point out that there are some funny and happy parts to balance out the bad parts. I would agree with Mia when she says that she "had the best of both worlds" through out this book, she spends a great deal of time talking about her childhood with her famous mother and father.

Even if you don't know much about Mia Tyler or care to know much I would still tell you to read this book. This book is very inspiring especially to young girls. For someone who struggles with self image issues, I gained a lot from this book. Mia not only talks about the really fabulous parts of her model life but also the really bad stuff and I would say that is what made this book so good. Someone who can admit their own faults when they dont have to is truly beautiful.

[Allison Renner · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought Mia was beautiful and inspiring when I saw her as the first plus-sized model in Seventeen. I loved that her style was more rock, rougher around the edges than typical models would allow you to see. Reading various books about Aerosmith and those who surrounded them, I was eager to hear about her hectic childhood from Mia herself. The book is very open and honest, but I kind of feel like her childhood was glossed over. She shares all sorts of details about her relationships with her parents, friends, drugs, sex, and more, but it seemed like she was holding back, emotionally. As she got into the more recent years of her life, it seemed like she was being more true to herself - which is understandable: it's easier to remember emotions you felt recently as opposed to those in childhood. By the time I got to the last few chapters, I could actually feel the emotion, which in turn affected me. It's a very interesting account of her life, and very inspirational. It's never just about her, and despite being a model, she rarely mentions physical appearance, which is refreshing. She focuses on what helped her get through tough times, and how she's trying to help others as well.

[Holly Booms Walsh · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up the book because I've been a fan of her beauty and her career as a plus-size model, and was curious about her background with a famous father and half-sister. It's a bit amateurishly written and in a lot of her teenage years her attitude, problems, and choices make you sort of want to slap her, but overall the book reads as an honest conversation with the author. I found things to identify with and admire in Mia, and it was an enjoyable, interesting read. I suspect that it works well in a YA framework, since she is very honest and immediate about the tribulations of growing up in a split family and with an unstable mother. She loves her father, and she casts a much different picture of him than I would have imagined. Mia ends up, for all her early bad choices (particularly with drugs), as a pretty good role model figure.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I stumbled upon this book in the library while looking for another biography and decided I'd read it, even though I never knew too much about Mia Tyler, other than she was a plus-sized model and Steven Tyler's daughter. I really enjoyed reading her story, although at times it felt very repetative and as if she was rambling. It's really interesting to read about a celebrity's life through their eyes instead of the tabloids. She seemed to have a very difficult childhood and her family never had any money, which was quite a shock to me since her dad was a HUGE rockstar, and still is today. I would definately recommend this book to anyone who likes to learn about other people's lives or anyone who has sturggled with drugs or body issues.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was interesting to read about her life. She's made some crazy choices but they have made her stronger. As an outsider looking in I could have told her that her marriage would never work and even the final relationship in the book. At the end of the book she is engaged but the paperback edition of this will probably contain a new epilogue because she is no longer in that relationship. They broke up right before the book came out. One thing both relationships had in common was the guy was already dating someone. That's the first sign you should turn around and walk away. My theory is if he'll do it to her he'll do it to you.

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

I felt that at times in this book, Tyler was on a delicate line of "poor me" and "this is why I did drugs and partied, so there". Her career as a "plus size" model (to the industry they are, to us who are truly larger than life, not so much)was barely touched on. She did not talk about body image issues except to report vaguely about being sent to fat camp. She is a positive roll model for younger girls as she is larger than the average model, and is reaching our to those who seek advice and is willing to listen.

[Shannon Anicas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Creating Myself: How I Learned That Beauty Comes in All Shapes, Sizes, and Packages, Including Me- By Mia Tyler. This is an amazing book that takes you on a journey of self discovery, real hurt and real people living life. This isn't a "tell all book" about her dad or life as a rock stars daughter, it is about how we as humans make mistakes, learn from them and if we are lucky enough we grow from them. Mia is a great story teller and a great role model. You can feel her pain and her triumphs. Great book all around.

[Deyara · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

I didn't know who she was before I read this, but didnt really need to as the book read okay without that. This is an open and candid account of Mia's early life, and does have some interesting insights into her life. Sometimes I laughed, and other times I cried... usually I would call this a success, but this is at times self-indulgent and other times preachy, and I think a bit more editing could have reigned that in a bit without losing her voice. Stll, she did reach me, as I feel the urge to have a google to see what she is up to now :)

[Lex C · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am not really into Biographies but this one was not that bad. It was interesting and not boring like other bios.The reason i gave it a 3 star is because im not a big fan of bios but like i said this one was pretty good. It was cool to see the life of a young women (daughter of Steven Tyler). My parents are a fan of him so i thought why not try reading about his daughter and learn a little more behind The Tyler's.

[Julie Ehlers · Rating 2 out of 5]

The subtitle of this book is misleading. It's really about Mia not getting along with her mom, doing a lot of drugs, cutting, getting divorced, and eventually finding happiness with another fiance and a MySpace page. Ultimately I didn't take much away from it, but the gossipy stuff made it a pretty quick read.

[Lisa]

This is a book about Mia, Steven Tyler's daughter. It was interesting to hear a daughter of a rock singer's perspective as to what it was like.

It seems that it would be great to be a daughter of a rock singer, however there are a lot of pressures that go along with that. Mia was just trying to find her way, and she wrote a book about it.

[Krysia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Your standard "celebrity" autobiography. Some of the more interesting aspects of her life she alludes to but doesn't choose to go into here. I think there is a better book in the material, but it isn't realized here.

[Bianca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mia Tyler does not put on any sort of act in this book. Her writing isn't amazing-- it really is just her telling us about her life, her memories, and her emotions. It's extremely relatable and interesting.