Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much: The Way of Love in a World of Hurt

by Charlie Peacock, Andi Ashworth

A hopeful and practical model for what it means to be a culture-maker and a Christian in a world in crisis from multi–Grammy winner Charlie Peacock and his wife and author, Andi Ashworth. If you feel powerless and overwhelmed by the pain, suffering, and crises you see in your family, your community, or the world around you, here comes hope from two guides who are further down the road. Charlie and Andi have written a collection of letters to Christians who think deeply and care acutely about the state of the world and their personal spheres of influence. In Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much , beloved and trusted mentors, Charlie and Andi offer It might be said of Christians that our lives are either moving in the direction of the redemption Jesus has on offer, or away from it. Each of these letters is a gentle nudge back in the direction of God's powerfully ordinary purpose for each of us, no matter what the future holds, to participate fully in the redemptive work of Christ.

Genres: Nonfiction, Faith, Biography, Christian, Theology, Music, Christianity

256 pages, Paperback

Published March 12, 2024

Reviews

[Bailey T. Hurley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a love letter to me those with questions about vocation, parenting, making a home, neighboring, creating, faith and so much more. There were so many chapters that spoke to the thing I exactly needed. And I appreciated the contrast between Charlie and Andi’s writing. They both bring so much wisdom and experience and can speak to different things and in different ways that really spoke to me.

This book isn’t a linear story but I found myself enjoying picking up and reading what I needed. I would gift this book to new Christians and “old” Christians; somewhere around their 30s as they are entering changes in their lives and considering harder things in their marriage, parenting, neighborhoods, workplace and church life

[Adam Shields · Rating 4 out of 5]

Summary: A book of wisdom.

I am a fan of memoirs, especially memoirs written toward the end of life that evaluate life and what is important. This isn’t a memoir, but it has the feel of a memoir. Why Everything that Doesn’t Matter, Matters So Much is a series of essays. Some of this retreads ground that has been trod before. I love Charlie’s thoughts on music and art and what it means to be an artist as a Christian, but I have heard those parts before.

What I haven’t heard is anything from Andi, Charlie Peacock’s wife. From the book it is clear that I just haven’t been paying attention, because she is the better writer. It is not that Charlie is a bad writer. I think he has important things to say and I think that his role as musical mentor and sage is important, but she has grappled with life and her thoughts in a way that I think shine brighter.

Part of what is important here is that they are both showing the struggle of the Christian life even as relatively successful people. Part of what she ends the book with is a discussion of success. They emphasize that their view of success isn’t money or records sold or influence, but the deeper things of life. And I appreciate that they share vulnerably and appropriately about struggles with health and marriage and vocation and trauma.

Charlie clearly says he was not the husband and father he should have been. Andi held things together while Charlie toured and made records and dreamed dreams. Dreams are important, but as Charlie says at one point, there is no possible way to fulfill every dream. Good dreams get passed by all the time because we just can’t do it all. Especially because we can’t do it all, we need to prioritize the people around us not just how much good we can do.

It is very clear that Charlie has done a lot of soul searching and emotional and relational work over the past decade and beyond. A chapter talks about his health and how his body revolted about a decade ago because he has subjected it to abuse and trauma without attention. And that forced him to grapple with many areas of his life that he had been reluctant to grapple with. Part of what I think is important in that discussion is that he and she both said that things got much worse before they started to get any better. Grappling with trauma and our limitations and weaknesses and the harm we have done to others often causes pain. But the options are to work through the pain and suffering toward healing or to resist that invitation to a more abundant life.

I do think that Christians have a lot of magical thinkings. “If you believe in Jesus everything will work out” is magical thinking. We need more stories like this where everything is not magically better. I can read between the lines and see where growth has happened; and where there is still more room for growth.

Personally, I was drawn to Andi’s chapters on hospitality, self care, vocation and marriage. These are people who have lived through struggle and who do not have it all together in all areas, but they have lived through difficult times and are continuing on. I thought the book probably could have been trimmed a bit, but it is always hard to know what needs to be trimmed and what just wasn’t what I needed to hear, but was good to have in it for others.

This is a book of essays and I treated it like a books of essays. I dipped in and out in the midst of other reading. Most chapters were in the 15-20 page range. There were a few that were significantly longer. I think I read almost all of the chapters in a single sitting so that I would not have the ideas split up. But this is more a book about wisdom than a book about ideas. And that is part of what I loved about it.

Originally posted on my blog at https://bookwi.se/why-everything-that...

[Ashlee Gadd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Literally bought this based on the title alone and it didn’t disappoint — underlined a ton. ❤️

[Addi Newman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t have any prior knowledge of the authors, but the title felt like it was trying to communicate something important. I was surprised that the book was a memoir instead of a self-help, but once I adjusted my expectations, I found a lot of wisdom was being shared.

This book is a collection of stories and individual experiences; It shares a specific set of thoughts and perspective forged out of many years of living a particular course of life. Many of the experiences were not personally relatable to my life course, but there were underlying truths that were certainly relatable. When Andi discussed at length her journey of cooking nourishing food for friends and family and strangers in their open home, I gleaned an overarching inspiration to learn how to love people well. When Charlie opened up about a charged relationship with his father and his father’s unforeseen death, I was motivated to contemplate my own opportunities to forgive.

This book was sweet and slow.

[Molly Grimmius · Rating 4 out of 5]

Essay/ letter format written between his wife and him. Charlie Peacock has been a professional musician his whole life from performing to producing to creating a whole program at a college. His faith which changed his world in his twenties is reflected in all he does. His wife, a writer and hospitality expert, and him founded and ran a place called the art house in Nashville. This is filled with all so sorts of letters to musicians and what is being a Christian artists to food and hospitality and chronic illness and marriage. I definitely preferred Andi’s writing had her stories and writing resonated more… I loved what Charlie would talk about but got a little lists in his thoughts and style of writing. So much goodness found in these essays.

[Christy Krispin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This brand new book by Charlie Peacock and Andi Ashworth is so beautiful and resonates deeply with me. I can hardly put it down. If you’re looking for something that will inspire you and help you see how the most meaningful lives are lived out in the seemingly small and insignificant acts of love, hospitality, generosity, and compassion, you need to take their stories in. They have a remarkable love story filled with stories of God’s grace and mercy, and they help put both the challenges and joys of being followers of Jesus into words.

“In our late 20s, along with our new belief in Jesus, we unknowingly entered the ‘80s evangelical subculture. For all that was redemptive, there was an equal measure of extraneous belief and behavior to sift through, question, and ultimately reject. We learned difficult (and often embarrassing) lessons. Without wisdom and discernment, we could too easily find ourselves associating with a form of Christianity bearing little resemblance to the way of Jesus. Staying watchful and informed became an essential safeguard.”

I treasure this insight and relate to it. In fact, some of the choices Karl and I have made in recent years (hosting a house church and focusing on hospitality and connection with our neighbors, for one) are reflected in this sentiment.

Reading this book, I wish we lived close enough to be neighbors with Andi and Charlie. But I’m grateful for the ways they have influenced us over the years from afar by their example, and treasure the insights they share here.

Put it on your must-read list!

[Deannamand · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book started slowly for me, hence it took more than a year to buckle down and finish. I’m so glad I did. While the early chapters didn’t grab me, I persevered and was rewarded with those that focused on hospitality, marriage, navigating change, the challenge of being a writer, sharing of faith publicly and fruitfulness as a believer in Jesus. While there were some opinions I took exception to, I have great respect for the writer’s willingness to share openly their struggles, their own perseverance and the great regard they hold one another in. The humility exhibited was an encouragement to me and I am grateful for their example.

[Daniel K · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for Christian creatives and the people that love them.
Part heart-felt encouragement, part theological treatise on what it means to be an artist and a Christian, and part memoir, this book, with gentleness and raw honesty gives encouragement on what it means to live a fruitful life.

Presented as 16 letters to the reader alternating from Charlie Peacock and his wife Andi Ashworth.

Took me a while to finish this book because each chapter requires soul searching and reflection.

Highly recommend.

[Liv Holloway · Rating 5 out of 5]

I. Loved. This. Book.

Such a tender and storied call to a life of faithfulness and fruitfulness. I related with so much from both of them, and loved their honesty and hearts throughout. A very orienting and grounding set of love letters to us.

[Graydon Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just loved this book! It written as letters to the reader, and it’s mostly written about ordinary life yet it’s imbued with creativity and beauty along the way. Certainly artists and creatives should read this, but really everybody will be encouraged by this book!

[LeeAnn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved their vulnerability, perspective, honesty and transparency. Authors reading their stories (audiobook) make it that much better.

[Robin Langford · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 excellent “letters,” especially the letters from Andi. So many of her thoughts resonated with me, gave me hope and encouragement.

[F.J. Akkerman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautifully written collection of essays with wisdom to glean for people wanting to discover and use their "gifting" – whatever talent or skill you enjoy which simultaneously benefits other people.

I hadn't heard about the couple who co-authored this book: Andi Ashworth, a writer, mother, and grandmother with a ton of experience in hospitality, and Charlie Peacock, a musician, father, and grandfather. Both are Christians (yay!), which was how I heard about the book and why I decided to listen on Spotify.

The content is structured well. Charlie and Andi take turns, and their chapters weave in and out until they end the book by closing it together. There wasn't much overlap or repetition. Their voices and what they chose to focus on differed to create a refreshing variety. Charlie's advice usually came at the end of his chapters, in a few short paragraphs. Andi's advice was more interspersed throughout each chapter, so I got a sense of their personalities (and I like that it wasn't forced into a formula).

It was all good stuff and a pleasure to listen.

The strength of the book is also its weakness: it attempts to do two things.

Firstly, it's a memoir: recording bits and pieces of Andi & Chuck's lives, an overview of certain seasons, and reasons for the decisions they made and how they were affected. It comes across as a kind of catharsis, therapy, a legacy, and of interest in the sense that readers might be encouraged by their story. But I think each chapter is better read as an essay which fits into a wider work rather than part of a chronological memoir which progresses from A to B.

Secondly, it's a collection of letters containing advice and wisdom for their readers.

And because of this it felt...a tad sporadic?

Chuck's part of the memoir doesn't get very specific about things which (I assume) his fans would be interested in, i.e. his musical career and things he's learned as a creative. His chapters were highly specific about certain niche topics, i.e. his relationship with his father, personal health difficulties, and his opinion about Christian music as a label. Which weren't quite what I came for, in the sense that I expected to be reading advice for artists (maybe my mistake, based on the recommendation I'd received rather than the book blurb itself, which is more generalised). It would've benefited from condensing – and adding more experiences or insights from his career and the musicians he rubbed shoulders with.

(There was a chapter about raising kids to be decent citizens and doing good in whatever area God has placed you instead of rushing headlong into "ministry" or "missions", as if our work isn't for God's kingdom unless it's got one of those spiritual labels. This all made sense but also...I might not be the target audience, since that's just common sense to me? Or maybe it's a testament to Chuck and Andi's generation of Christian thinkers and leaders that they've succeeded in battling what wasn't common sense before but is now!)

Andi's memoir is eloquently detailed and a tad saddening. She's also incredibly talented at saying a lot through what she doesn't say. (You know a good writer by what they edit out.) She's good at including descriptive details which could bring scenes to life, but her prose is also clean and capable of keeping things moving. Her advice is excellent, too, and she didn't go overboard "imparting sage wisdom", which is probably a huge temptation if you're writing a series of letters of advice. She stayed focused on the things which she considered most important. I was just saddened by the note of tiredness and futility regarding her years of hospitality, like she hadn't found her purpose until she started writing seriously and by then she was too advanced in years. She didn't necessarily say that, but it's sort of what I picked up. (Maybe I'm just projecting my own fears.)

Overall, I was encouraged but not "struck" by much that was new. Possibly I'll come back and jot down my notes in this review later, but needless to say, both Chuck and Andi gave me a bit to think about in terms of writing, marriage, hospitality, father-son relationships, finding balance, being Christ-centric, rethinking how we individually measure success, and reclaiming the ground which Christians frequently relinquish to the "secular vs sacred" distinction.

My favourite takeaway of all: be confident in your calling. Use your skills to enrich people's lives. God is pleased with that, whether you're a shoemaker or a caretaker or an orthopaedic surgeon.

Glad to have found out about Charlie Peacock (apparently I'm late to the party) and now I'm enjoying listening to his music. Some of his songs are real winners in my camp. I'm also keen to read Andi's other book(s).

[Nathan Chud · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fairly niche book on the whole, though many people would deeply enjoy certain chapters immensely. Artists, particularly those who aim to live like Christ, are the primary audience. I learned a lot about Charlie Peacock, and through him a lot about the emergence of the modern world of "Christian music." His resistance to using that phrase itself was enough for me to feel invested. I finish the book freshly inspired to create and to do so courageously, sustainably, and meaningfully.

Excerpts:
- Parenting is the noble task of citizen-making. Parent the child to become the adult you will one day meet. This requires living a good story in their presence, passing onto them the best information about the most important things, placing a higher premium on empathy and imagination than performance, lots of prayer and patience, and very often, learning to live with delayed satisfaction.
- A defining characteristic of a healthy young person is hope for a better future and a willingness to pursue it.
- Is my cultural witness - my word, work, and play - seamless and congruent with Christ's renewal mission?
- Grace is not opposed to effort; it is opposed to earning (Willard).
- May you have the wisdom to know when to open your doors and when to close them for a season...
- Writing as a way of knowing (epistemology): we write to know what we know. It's through writing that we come to understand something or someone more clearly.

[Fiona · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a special book. Charlie and Andi open up their struggles and life lessons with humility and honesty. Their grace and wisdom is powerful. I was particularly touched by Charlie’s letter about health struggles as I can relate to that personally. Definitely one I will re-listen to.



I think the book might work best in audio form if you are able to get the audiobook - the authors’ gentle humility and wisdom are most powerful there. (Also I read a 2** review on here that realised my nagging worry that it might not come across quite right on paper, particularly if you aren’t familiar with Charlie’s work and writing). The bonus interviews on the audiobook didn’t add much, and I found them awkward and odd after the gentle pace of the book itself. Would still highly recommend though!

[Paul Nunn · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an encouraging gift of a book. As Andy and Charlie tell their story and share their insights you get no sense that they are trying to be impressive or that they are particularly impressed with themselves. They aren’t selling something or trying to convince their audience of anything. Instead they humbly and skillfully set a table of vulnerability, affirmation, and hard won wisdom. This book is an act of generosity from two people who love Jesus and have seen the transcendent beauty of the devine show up in every aspect of life from the glorious to the mundane.
I’m grateful to have received these encouragements at this particular time in my life. I’ll be recommending it for a long time to come.

[Connie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful series of letters that felt like a memoir of this lovely married couple who serve the musicians of Nashville with their hospitality.

I love how they love on artists and musicians. I identify with their calling to both the church and the arts without wanting to be reduced to the name of one or the other or both. I respect how they value meeting needs with beautiful and timely food and a sense of place. The term "intellectual hospitality " will stick with me for a long time.

This one was personally meaningful to me.

[Zak Schmoll · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book on Christianity and creativity. They speak about God's calling, the concept of "Christian art", engaging in the public square, dealing with challenges, and so much more. Even if some of my own personal strategies and strengths differ from the authors, that's kind of the point they try to make. This is their story and how it has worked for them, but we are all unique individuals, gifted by God in different ways. Nevertheless, we do what we can with what we have. I definitely recommend picking this one up.

[Bailey L. · Rating 2 out of 5]

Saw this book recommended on the insta of the author of every moment holy. I love the title for one. That caused me to want to read, and I love the idea of husband wife books. Unfortunately perhaps the title is the best part of the book. Husband’s bad writing and egotism is unbearable. Seems completely lacking in humility. Constantly name drops famous Christians and musicians. Wife’s chapters were more of a 3 star, and husband’s were 1 star. I did like what the wife had to say about radical hospitality though! She also is a pretty good writer, in comparison.

[Sharon Beaucond · Rating 4 out of 5]

First the title was intriguing. Second, the book was recommended by Ann Patchett. Third, I read for a creative peoples gathering. I found the book intriguing. About the time I would find myself bogged down, something presented itself which touched something with me or gave me pause to think further about. The book really came alive when sharing with a larger group and tossing back and forth passages or happenings in the book struck chords with them. A good and enlightening, thoughtful, hopeful read.

[Rudy · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s common to read books that contain challenging, insightful, and practical applications for daily life. But it’s not at all common to encounter books that make the reader feel know. This is one such book, and the truly didn’t see it coming.

For artists of all stripes, cooks, and anyone who wishes to practice authentic hospitality, this is a must read. Thank you, Charlie and Andi, for your vulnerability and honest depictions of what it means to serve Christ and others with intentionality.

[Debra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Charlie and Andi welcome you into their lives, the ups and the downs, and do such an authentic job of drawing you into their lives. I feel as though I'm their friend. I did not want this book to end. It inspired me and touched me in ways no book has done for a long time. I highly recommend, especially to anyone who has given out a lot to others for decades. Honesty and wisdom make these chapters so worthwhile.

[Linda White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every Jesus follower who is gifted in the arts should read this book. A series of “letters” from musician/writer/music producer Charlie Peacock and his gifted wife, Andi Ashworth to, well, us, the book is grounded in solid theology and buoyed by inspiring, thoughtful reflections. It’s a guide, a lighthouse for those of us seeking to bear fruit in an often messy life. I’ll read this book many times over, I’m sure.

[Katelyn Dalton · Rating 3 out of 5]

For whatever reason, I just wasn’t feelin this one, despite its really good reviews. All good info and good reminders, but it wasn’t what I was expecting. It felt more like a memoir, or reflections on their life running the art house- I didn’t feel like it was made to be as broadly applicable to everyone as the description suggests. Might also appeal to people with a more musical and artistic bent than me- I just didn’t connect with it that much.

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book felt a bit like a big hug from an older friend/relative. Letters written that certainly don’t shy away from the trials and troubles of life, that look honestly at the good and bad things one had done in their years, all woven together with wisdom and encouragement. Yep, this life is tough, even heartbreaking at times, but there’s always a way forward - toward your dreams, toward healthy relationships, toward grace. Exactly what I needed right about now.

[Jordan Douglass · Rating 2 out of 5]

This felt like more of a memoir rather than a self-help book. I enjoyed Andi's chapters far more than Charlie's. It felt like he name drooped every chance he got, and one of the chapters he used such big words for multiple sentences, I just got lost and nearly put the book down. I thought this book was going to be different, better, but it is not what I was expecting. Maybe if I was a musician or into music, this book would have been more enjoyable. #goodreadsgiveaway

[William Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easily the best book I've read this year. Charlie Peacock and his wife Andi's book was just what I needed. It was practical and inspiring, authentic and encouraging. I am inspired to live with my eyes open to the little things and be appreciative of every gift God brings my way, every day. Wonderful book.

[Karen (Living Unabridged) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love books from The Rabbit Room and RR adjacent writers/thinkers/dreamers and this book definitely qualifies as adjacent. (You'll find Ned Bustard, Douglas McKelvey, Sandra McCracken, etc. mentioned)

The book is constructed as letters to the reader, some from Charlie, some from Andi and they're all thoughtful and encouraging.

[Sally · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting back-and-forth between the two individuals (Ashworth and her husband Charlie Peacock) about their marriage, their lives, and their relationship with God. It is a comforting book, full of encouragement and gentle exhortation. Topics include relationships, hospitality, success, etc.

[Abby Elliott · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this for book club. Beautiful descriptions of aspects of the Christian life. Loved hearing about Charlie & Andi’s life, experiences, and what the Lord has shown them. I had a hard time connecting with it though. Is written like different letters on separate topics.