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Crime Diaries
Diario de un ladrón (Calle negra)
Bex y Ollie son una pareja de ladrones de medio pelo que viven en una pequeña ciudad cercana a Londres. Cualquier robo es bueno si con ello sacan para pagar las cervezas y, más aún, si con ello evitan tener que trabajar de lunes a viernes. Les gusta la sensación de la adrenalina, el riesgo y se divierten asaltando casas para llevarse vídeos y televisores. Y no tienen más ambición que seguir robando.
Diario de un ladrón nos ofrece una narración testimonial con la que el autor se adentra en el mundo del crimen con irreverencia y humor a la vez que nos desvela sus vivencias al otro lado de la ley.
Diario de un ladrón nos ofrece una narración testimonial con la que el autor se adentra en el mundo del crimen con irreverencia y humor a la vez que nos desvela sus vivencias al otro lado de la ley.
256 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2001
18 people are currently reading
227 people want to read
About the author
Danny King
39 books49 followersDanny King was born in Slough, Berkshire, the second son of Michael and Dorothy King. He and his two brothers, Ralph and Robin, lived on the Britwell Estate until 1979, when they moved to Yateley, Hampshire. He attended Yateley School but failed to gain any qualifications before leaving at the age of 16. He stacked shelves for a short stint in the Yateley branch of Somerfield (then Gateway), before working on various building sites as a hod carrier.
In 1991 he took an Access course at Farnborough College of Technology, which helped him land a place at The London College of Printing studying journalism. Between 1993 and 2002 he worked on various magazine titles, eventually becoming Editor of the Paul Raymond Publications title Mayfair (magazine). He now writes full-time.
In the late 1980s, he was arrested several times and convicted of burglary at Winchester Crown Court and car theft at Camberley Magistrates Court. It is largely due to receiving these convictions that he cites as his reasons for giving education a second go.
In 1991 he took an Access course at Farnborough College of Technology, which helped him land a place at The London College of Printing studying journalism. Between 1993 and 2002 he worked on various magazine titles, eventually becoming Editor of the Paul Raymond Publications title Mayfair (magazine). He now writes full-time.
In the late 1980s, he was arrested several times and convicted of burglary at Winchester Crown Court and car theft at Camberley Magistrates Court. It is largely due to receiving these convictions that he cites as his reasons for giving education a second go.
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
January 21, 2021
Un material bastante fresco, escrito de una forma tan descarada y sinvergüenza que simplemente resulta divertido.
Este libro cuenta las vivencias de un verdadero ladrón a modo de novela. Pero, lo hace con un toque de humor explicito y cínico que capta tu atención al instante.
No diré que sea algo que todo lector debería leer, ya que realmente no es una novela para cualquiera. Constantemente estás en una lucha con la moral que tu consciente te dicta, respecto a todo lo que está mal con esta historia (a nivel moral, no narrativo).
Pero, ver la vida desde la perspectiva del ladrón, sin ningún tipo de filtro, resulta muy fresco.
Nuestro narrador es una persona pensante, que aunque se gane la vida de una forma cuestionable, solo lo ve de esa forma, una manera de ganarse la vida. No lo ve como una posición en la cual puede abusar o aprovecharse de ello. Por supuesto, esto no significa que no deje de ser una persona con moral cuestionable, sin embargo, sí parece tener ciertos ideales.
Este libro cuenta las vivencias de un verdadero ladrón a modo de novela. Pero, lo hace con un toque de humor explicito y cínico que capta tu atención al instante.
No diré que sea algo que todo lector debería leer, ya que realmente no es una novela para cualquiera. Constantemente estás en una lucha con la moral que tu consciente te dicta, respecto a todo lo que está mal con esta historia (a nivel moral, no narrativo).
Pero, ver la vida desde la perspectiva del ladrón, sin ningún tipo de filtro, resulta muy fresco.
Nuestro narrador es una persona pensante, que aunque se gane la vida de una forma cuestionable, solo lo ve de esa forma, una manera de ganarse la vida. No lo ve como una posición en la cual puede abusar o aprovecharse de ello. Por supuesto, esto no significa que no deje de ser una persona con moral cuestionable, sin embargo, sí parece tener ciertos ideales.
April 8, 2021
I love books like this that take you into a world you would never be part of. In this case the world of a career burglar. You ever wonder how breaking and entering works? How doing it day after day, like any other job, would work? Danny King brings you the scoop, the inside view, he pulls back the curtain...and it's pretty entertaining.
King takes us along as he breaks into houses and steals their TVs and VCRs (yes, it's a bit dated, but still you get the idea). For the most part it seems very boring, like most jobs. King would find out about someone leaving town on vacation, or knows they will be out of their house on a specific date, and he would plan on breaking in. Him and a fellow burglar (he liked to work as a team) would knock on the door to make sure nobody was home, then usually break into a window around the back. They would look for all the regular items of value (TV, VCR, CDs, etc) and pile them by the door. Then they would load up a van and drive away. In and out in five or ten minutes. He actually made it sound pretty boring eh?
Well just like any other job it's the irregular days and one of a kind events that make things interesting. King takes us through a few of those situations, like when they get caught by a big burly fireman. They try to escape by locking themselves in the bathroom and going out the window. The man catches Danny and gives him a good beating before his partner whacks him with a shovel. Another time his B&A partner has to take a BM...he craps in the bathroom and finds out there is no toilet paper. The time they meet another set of robbers in a place and have to divide up the loot. There are plenty of funny mishaps that happen over the years.
King also gives us some insight into the techniques the pros use to find houses to break into. They sometimes just drive around and look for houses that seem empty. Sometimes they look for a big party and then break into the neighbour's house. Usually they have some sort of tip off. It can come from some low life who overheard a conversation to an ex lover who wants to get some sort of revenge on their previous partner.
The characters in this world are a laugh. Most of them are dim witted idiots who eventually end up in jail, but there are also surprisingly clever pros who study the art of break and enter. It's a crazy world out there.
By the end of the book I'm actually liking King, even if he is a life long criminal. He shares some of his life problems, his work problems, his relationship problems...and he seems like a nice guy. He is one of the classier burglars, if that can be a way to describe crime, who try to cause the least amount of damage possible. He doesn't do things like leave the taps running, steal wedding rings, break things just for the fun of it. He treats the robbery like a job and tries to be as professional as possible. Which is kind of endearing...he does use a lot of crude language though, which is hard to read at times. But, other than that, a great book
King takes us along as he breaks into houses and steals their TVs and VCRs (yes, it's a bit dated, but still you get the idea). For the most part it seems very boring, like most jobs. King would find out about someone leaving town on vacation, or knows they will be out of their house on a specific date, and he would plan on breaking in. Him and a fellow burglar (he liked to work as a team) would knock on the door to make sure nobody was home, then usually break into a window around the back. They would look for all the regular items of value (TV, VCR, CDs, etc) and pile them by the door. Then they would load up a van and drive away. In and out in five or ten minutes. He actually made it sound pretty boring eh?
Well just like any other job it's the irregular days and one of a kind events that make things interesting. King takes us through a few of those situations, like when they get caught by a big burly fireman. They try to escape by locking themselves in the bathroom and going out the window. The man catches Danny and gives him a good beating before his partner whacks him with a shovel. Another time his B&A partner has to take a BM...he craps in the bathroom and finds out there is no toilet paper. The time they meet another set of robbers in a place and have to divide up the loot. There are plenty of funny mishaps that happen over the years.
King also gives us some insight into the techniques the pros use to find houses to break into. They sometimes just drive around and look for houses that seem empty. Sometimes they look for a big party and then break into the neighbour's house. Usually they have some sort of tip off. It can come from some low life who overheard a conversation to an ex lover who wants to get some sort of revenge on their previous partner.
The characters in this world are a laugh. Most of them are dim witted idiots who eventually end up in jail, but there are also surprisingly clever pros who study the art of break and enter. It's a crazy world out there.
By the end of the book I'm actually liking King, even if he is a life long criminal. He shares some of his life problems, his work problems, his relationship problems...and he seems like a nice guy. He is one of the classier burglars, if that can be a way to describe crime, who try to cause the least amount of damage possible. He doesn't do things like leave the taps running, steal wedding rings, break things just for the fun of it. He treats the robbery like a job and tries to be as professional as possible. Which is kind of endearing...he does use a lot of crude language though, which is hard to read at times. But, other than that, a great book
November 16, 2021
I've read and re-read this one on numerous occasions. It's just a favorite book of mine. I "discovered" this writer by picking up a random interesting looking book during one of my last Navy deployments at a bookstore in Singapore. That one was "The Pornographers Diaries", and it cracked me, and much of the crew on my ship, up, as we passed that battered paperback among each other and laughed out loud reading it while on deployment. Danny King is one of the few writers who can consistently do that to me. So I sought out his other books, which at the time, consisted of the Burglar, Hitman, and Bank Robber diaries, and the Burglar was the first of the lot, and definitely my favorite after the PD. All of the Dairies series are great, but the Burglar Diaries and the Pornographer Diaries are my favorites. I think it's because the writer has more personal experience & expertise in these fields, and it shows in the writing. That's just my own speculation, I have no idea. Has Mr. King ever held up a bank or carried out a hit? I pretty much doubt it. But has he worked on a porno mag and maybe broken into a window or two? I'm a poker player....I'd put my wager on he has. And he will make you laugh out loud telling you stories about it.
August 28, 2018
Interesting read
This book was a really interesting one, I enjoyed most of it but sometimes when Adrian was talking as though he was a decent member of society it did get a bit irritating and hard to stomach. However it was, at times, incredibly funny - the last time Adrian and Ollie were chased by police was absolutely hilarious! Thank you for an insight into a world I knew nothing about.
This book was a really interesting one, I enjoyed most of it but sometimes when Adrian was talking as though he was a decent member of society it did get a bit irritating and hard to stomach. However it was, at times, incredibly funny - the last time Adrian and Ollie were chased by police was absolutely hilarious! Thank you for an insight into a world I knew nothing about.
October 3, 2017
Insightful read
Danny King has a way of explaining crime that shows both good and bad, he starts out with the MC as a geezer who has fun and makes money from his crimes.
He then provides you with the human element of what happens during and after the crime.
I always chuckle at most of the storylines but its also clever at teaching that crime doesn't pay!
I've enjoyed every book I've read from Danny this is no exception and its gritty and hard hitting. Strange how so e criminals have better morals than the so called innocents!
Danny King has a way of explaining crime that shows both good and bad, he starts out with the MC as a geezer who has fun and makes money from his crimes.
He then provides you with the human element of what happens during and after the crime.
I always chuckle at most of the storylines but its also clever at teaching that crime doesn't pay!
I've enjoyed every book I've read from Danny this is no exception and its gritty and hard hitting. Strange how so e criminals have better morals than the so called innocents!
January 11, 2021
Can't make my mind up about this book. At times in was entertaining, but the constant use of swearing, especially the strongest word, got a bit wearing after a while - almost as if the author thought the shock factor would work in his favour. Also, some of the errors in the book were just extremely sloppy. More than one 'your' rather than 'you're' and just blatant spelling mistakes, such as 'hypercritical' as opposed to 'hypocritical'. Slightly disappointed.
May 6, 2017
I did enjoy this book but I would put this in the category of "Loo reading"
It isn't exactly a compelling read but it is pretty funny, though in areas a bit daft and a little mad with the F'ing and blinding but over all, worth a read through.
It isn't exactly a compelling read but it is pretty funny, though in areas a bit daft and a little mad with the F'ing and blinding but over all, worth a read through.
November 20, 2023
Laugh out loud
Really enjoyed this book, it's tongue in cheek at times and you'll find yourself laughing out loud, so beware if your reading it in public you might encounter some very peculiar looks
Really enjoyed this book, it's tongue in cheek at times and you'll find yourself laughing out loud, so beware if your reading it in public you might encounter some very peculiar looks
November 30, 2023
realmente te odio, bex. escenas bastante asquerosas, comentarios machistas y racistas, y monólogos autocomplacientes son algunas de las cosas que te podrás encontrar aquí. fuera de ello, lamentablemente la pluma del autor es adictiva. lo leí dos veces y podría hacerlo una tercera vez
June 9, 2024
re reading this for some light relief from life. It's not highbrow literature but a hilarious insight into the world of what it's like to be a burglar. I like to read it every few years to remind me how not to take things too seriously. Laugh out loud stuff.
June 1, 2020
Me encanto!
May 10, 2022
A very quick and funny read,Not too heavy but gives a funny point of view from a burglar.
October 31, 2025
Narrador en primera persona, sarcástico, elocuente y gracioso. Fácil y divertida lectura.
September 28, 2014
If you are of a certain age, you might well remember the head-to-head comedy conversations between Griff Rhys Jones and Mel Smith or the two Ronnies. They’d talk earnestly about something, dive off in tangents, bewilder each other and provide the watcher with a huge amount of entertainment in the process.
There’s something about the central characters in The Burglar Diaries (Bez and Ollie) that reminded me of those comedy encounters. Maybe it’s the quality of the writing and the brilliance of the humour that I felt they had in common.
Bez and Ollie are a team. We get to follow them through a series of crimes that are never short of interesting events in themselves. It’s a collection of musings and action that come together as a well-knitted collection of short stories yet also have something of the driving narrative of a novel. There a thoughts on the criminal code, the planning of a burglary, fencing stolen goods, holding down relationships when you’re a crook, famous rip-offs, popular culture and shades of philosophy.
This was a genuine laugh-out-loud book for me and those laughs were spread all the way through the work. There’s great observational and situational humour here and I’d urge you to try it for yourself.
Smashing stuff.
There’s something about the central characters in The Burglar Diaries (Bez and Ollie) that reminded me of those comedy encounters. Maybe it’s the quality of the writing and the brilliance of the humour that I felt they had in common.
Bez and Ollie are a team. We get to follow them through a series of crimes that are never short of interesting events in themselves. It’s a collection of musings and action that come together as a well-knitted collection of short stories yet also have something of the driving narrative of a novel. There a thoughts on the criminal code, the planning of a burglary, fencing stolen goods, holding down relationships when you’re a crook, famous rip-offs, popular culture and shades of philosophy.
This was a genuine laugh-out-loud book for me and those laughs were spread all the way through the work. There’s great observational and situational humour here and I’d urge you to try it for yourself.
Smashing stuff.
October 22, 2012
A good friend recommended this book a long time ago however I have only just got around to reading.
Danny King is a convicted petty criminal turned author. Although the Burglar Diaries is meant to be a fictitious book, you can't help but think that it's based largely on fact. The book is fast paced, witty, dark and massively funny..... I won't give away any of the plot.
I loved this book and as a result have now loaded my Kindle with others written by DK. Looking forward to reading them! Just a word of warning..... if you are even vaguely offended by 'colourful' language you may want to read this one with your eyes closed at times....
Danny King is a convicted petty criminal turned author. Although the Burglar Diaries is meant to be a fictitious book, you can't help but think that it's based largely on fact. The book is fast paced, witty, dark and massively funny..... I won't give away any of the plot.
I loved this book and as a result have now loaded my Kindle with others written by DK. Looking forward to reading them! Just a word of warning..... if you are even vaguely offended by 'colourful' language you may want to read this one with your eyes closed at times....
October 15, 2014
This is a fun little read that I motored threw in just a few sittings.
It tells the story of a chap called Bex, who just happens to be a burglar by trade, and all the scrapes and capers him and his pals get into.
Told in the first person, the language is blunt and coarse, but perfectly in keeping with the tone of the story. It's bloke-down-the-pub banter.
It's funny throughout and full of wonderful anecdotes, and although our main man Bex is a bit of a lowlife, he has enough heart that the reader can warm to him.
Looking forward to read more of Danny King's books and will also seek out the BBC series Thieves Like Us, which was adapted from this book.
It tells the story of a chap called Bex, who just happens to be a burglar by trade, and all the scrapes and capers him and his pals get into.
Told in the first person, the language is blunt and coarse, but perfectly in keeping with the tone of the story. It's bloke-down-the-pub banter.
It's funny throughout and full of wonderful anecdotes, and although our main man Bex is a bit of a lowlife, he has enough heart that the reader can warm to him.
Looking forward to read more of Danny King's books and will also seek out the BBC series Thieves Like Us, which was adapted from this book.
September 28, 2010
This is where it all started for Danny King.
A romp of a comedy of the musings of a serial burgler and the scrapes that he gets in with his less than clever mates.
It is politically incorrect, has no moral message and if you have ever been burgled, will leave a bad taste in your mouth.
It is, however, very funny.
The scrapes are a mixture of urban myth and standard scrapes. His musings on crime, the middle classes, what is morally right and wrong and his ability to mock himself makes for a very easy and amusing read.
A romp of a comedy of the musings of a serial burgler and the scrapes that he gets in with his less than clever mates.
It is politically incorrect, has no moral message and if you have ever been burgled, will leave a bad taste in your mouth.
It is, however, very funny.
The scrapes are a mixture of urban myth and standard scrapes. His musings on crime, the middle classes, what is morally right and wrong and his ability to mock himself makes for a very easy and amusing read.
September 16, 2011
This is a fictional auto-biography, as told by a burglar. There's a lot of swearing, and it's a bit dubious from a moral point of view, but it's also very funny. This is the first in a "Crime Diaries" series, and I'd like to read the others, but I'd prefer to get them from the library (or as e-books) rather than cluttering my shelves, and neither of those options are practical at the moment.
November 25, 2012
c2001. I should not have liked this book considering the cavalier attitude of the main character towards morals especially as it is constantly referenced by how the burglars ended up doing the police and society in general a favour by doing what they do. But, it is funny and if you can park to one side the immorality involed, it is a quick and enjoyable read.
May 13, 2012
3.5 stars but rounded up as it was a fun listen (audiobook), narrator sounded like Jason Statham in Snatch which made it even more fun in a 'cheeky-cockney' kind of way. Nothing deep, nothing amazing but a quick read that entertains enough.
February 5, 2015
Hilarious
This is a very, very funny book and the narration is outstanding. The british accent and slang is dense and takes a while to get used to. It is by all means worth the effort though: it is funny, witty, and highly original. I hope it will have a sequel!
This is a very, very funny book and the narration is outstanding. The british accent and slang is dense and takes a while to get used to. It is by all means worth the effort though: it is funny, witty, and highly original. I hope it will have a sequel!
March 10, 2011
I read The Burglar Diaries about two years ago. BUT what you guys should know - I was laughing out loud while reading it (it hardly ever happens!) You will enjoy this piece of modern prose.
August 7, 2011
Excellent book. Most entertaining.
August 4, 2012
Really good read. Very funny in parts and as a guy recognise many of the characters in people I've met myself. Also a nice twist in the finish.
December 22, 2012
Awesome British humor, if you haven't been around Brits then the slang and humor maybe hard to understand. I was in stitches for most of the book. Great read.
February 3, 2013
Nowhere near as good as The Bank Robber Diaries, I was a bit disappointed
February 21, 2014
A very enjoyable read. Down to earth, contemporary, and funny. Danny has a great sense of humour. Days after, I found myself still giggling.
June 7, 2013
Bex is the nicest house burglar I've ever come across
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews