Het voorbijgaan

by Nicci Gerrard, Sabine Mutsaers (Translator)

Wanneer was het allemaal begonnen? Ze zou het nooit precies weten, al kon ze het later, als een vinger die op een kaart de brede rivier volgt tot aan het onzichtbaar dunne lijntje van zijn oorsprong, terugvoeren op een avond in het begin van de winter.

Ooit waren Irene en Adrian verliefd; was één blik genoeg. Maar na jaren huwelijk, kinderen en de sleur van alledag is de glans eraf. Ze zijn vergeten waardoor ze vroeger zo verbonden waren. Hun drie jonge dochters hebben de band weliswaar vereeuwigd, maar het is anders geworden: zakelijker, praktischer. Binnen korte tijd zal er echter veel gaan veranderen in het leven van iedereen binnen dit gezin...

Genres: Fiction, Roman, Thriller, Literature, Contemporary, Novels, Chick Lit

316 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

Half of the writing team known as Nicci French . Nicci Gerrard & Sean French also write separately.

Gerard still works as a journalist for the Observer, covering high-profile trials.

Novels include Things We Knew Were True (2003), Solace (2005) and The Moment You Were Gone (2007), The Winter House (2009) and Missing Persons (2011).

Reviews

[Lyda Van Den Bos · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mooi boek!

[Tracey · Rating 5 out of 5]

a brilliant read. I loved it. I have been through emotions and life events very similar and it is a great book

[Corine Bouma · Rating 2 out of 5]

Blij dat ik het boek uit heb. Sprak mij persoonlijk niet zo aan.

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

heeeeeeel veel onnodige details

[Jules · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have had this book on my book pile for ages and regret that I didn’t get around to reading it sooner.

Nicci Gerrard is a whizz at being able to dissect failing thirty/fortysomething relationships and has a knack for knowing what makes them fail in the jigsaw-puzzle of long-time love. Somehow, she is able to give a parallel ‘je ne sais quoi’ yet all-knowing critique of the relationships process without ever being chick-litty or trite. She seems like one smart cookie to me and I respect her for being able to look over the relationships sphere both philosophically and realistically.

Gerrard investigates both sides of the relationship break-down and here shows how a woman can triumph from being a victim (a woman ‘left’ after her husband’s affair) to re-becoming a woman in her own right again. The tone of the book is very mild, calm and almost lulling, surprisingly the writing never strikes an angry feminist tone which is quite refreshing in modern-day fiction.

Her portrayal of characters seems very studied and again intelligent. It’s quite obvious from the first few pages that ‘affair-territory’ is going to be reached and, after some sharp drama, the rest of the novel tends to focus on how the female protagonist Irene learns to accept her fate and move on eventually positively.

I seemed to relate to the book particularly as I found that it has a resonance to my own life. It was quite assuring to know that eventually Irene was able to lift herself out of the fog caused by a long-term relationship and I enjoyed the way that Gerrard sketched and plotted this.

The style of writing is really smart – sometimes poetic but often straight to the point – often it’s just poetically brutal with its mix of home truths and gently communicated fact.

Will I read Nicci Gerrard again? Without a doubt – what a great writer on modern life and human relationships she is. I love it when books surprise you and this one did most positively.

[Connie53 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Een boek over het einde van een huwelijk, over sleur en kinderen en opruimen en zorgen. En hoe er toch nog iets moois uit kan ontstaan. Een 7,5

[Sophie Mirgaux de Pina · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's only my second book by Nicci Gerrard, but I was again, from the first page onwards, sucked completely in to the emotions of the lead character, Irene, in this case. Irene, the mother who loves her children so much it hurts and is stuck in this unhappy cold place with her husband Adrian...
Minor spoiler (it's on the back of the book): Adrian meets someone else. As a chubby woman, I found it quite refreshing that this new lover is described so positively as a voluptuous woman, with soft flesh and round cheeks and plump breasts as opposed to skinny Irene. Usually, but it may be me being biased, the new attractive partner is the one with the "socially preferred" slim figure. :)

[Marleen Janssens · Rating 3 out of 5]

In het Nederlands gelezen: Het voorbijgaan. De stijl van de ene helft van Nicci French is herkenbaar: oog voor kleine dagelijkse handelingen. Voor mij was het jammer dat een belangrijk element uit de voorgeschiedenis pas laat aan bod komt. Het is geen detective en dit structuurelement past hier niet, vind ik. Ik had het liever vroeger geweten omdat mijn inleving in Irenes psyche dan gemakkelijker zou geweest zijn.

[Ingrid Booij · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ze is heel goed in het beschrijven van gevoelens. Dat maakt het boek goed en herkenbaar ookal heb je zelf nooit in zo'n situatie gezeten. Een kind die ze verloren heeft aan de wiegendood, wat later in het boek naar voren kwam, had er voor mij niet in gehoeven. Haar gevoelens van ellende, verdriet en zich verlaten voelen waren overtuigend genoeg.

[Veroniek Isebaert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Een heel mooi en interessant begin; de eerste helft van het boek is gewoonweg volmaakt. Ik heb genoten van de slimme stijl (en de goede vertaling!)
De tweede helft valt tegen.... de vakantie in Frankrijk leek wel op een Libelle-verhaal. Jammer!

[Leentje · Rating 5 out of 5]

Het troostrijkste boek dat ik ooit las

[Lucy McLaurin · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good book that drew me in with the main character's emotions through the breakdown of her marriage; with events that led up to it. Very good.

[An Brouckaert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mooi

[Joanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

It may have been about what I was goi gtjroigj at the time of reading it but it totally resonated with me. Highly recommend

[Annette van de Wetering · Rating 4 out of 5]

Compleet anders dan de thrillers die ze met haar echtgenoot schrijft. Is nice.

[Heidi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nicci Gerrard has a knack of making her characters come to life by her insightful writing about the ordinary things in live, the things we can all relate to. So when Irene's husband leaves her for a younger woman, the reader can really empathize, feel the betrayal and hurt and get angry on her behalf. I enjoyed this story about Irene reclaiming her life although the ending left a lot of unanswered questions - then again, this was probably the author's intention (although I thoroughly hope that the nasty Adrian got his just deserts). I really enjoyed how the characters came to life in this book by exploring each character's feelings and the author's insights into the dynamics of this troubled relationship. I also loved the twist at the end which explained why the relationship may have derailed and the cause and depth of Irene's pain.

[ilse · Rating 2 out of 5]

"Het voorbijgaan" van Nicci Gerrard, laten we zeggen een middelmatig boek.

Wel een paar quotes, die ik wil onthouden:

Halverwege, zei ze tegen zichzelf, toen ze midden in een slapeloze nacht met haar kin op haar handen geleund op de trap zat. Ik ben ongeveer halverwege mijn leven, en ik kijk vooruit en ik kijk terug. Als je heel jong bent heb je hoop, en als je heel oud bent heb je herinneringen. Maar daartussen moet je ze allebei hebben. Hoop en herinneringen, vertrouwen en verlies, begin en einde, allemaal tegelijk. Het mag een wonder heten dat we niet allemaal knettergek worden.

We herinneren ons momenten en verbinden die met elkaar om onze eigen versie van een leven samen te stellen. Je moet de juiste momenten kiezen die je in je hoofd bewaart.

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved it. This author is a whizz. The author leads us through a marriage breakdown. We read it all not quite sure but fairly convinced that we know why the marriage is breaking down. The pain is so raw. When it finally ends the wife (Irene) is left in tatters a complete wreck, the husband (Adrian) a new partner, a new look and a new start. He and his newly pregnant wife take his three daughters on a big overseas trip and finally it allows time for Irene to recover body and soul from her loss, to concentrate on herself. Then Nicci Gerrard drops a bomb. Irene and Adrian had much more to recover from than we first knew. The story is suddenly much clearer more painful, different.................

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

So I read this in a day - a poorly duvet day, admittedly. It was a good, entertaining and undemanding read, although I did get a bit fed up with the heroine throwing things and breaking glass objects, especially in her home where her children lived. I know she was under some provocation, but still... Also her financial situation was a bit confusing - why, when she was no longer having to support her husband financially, was she suddenly struggling to cope with debt? But I quibble. This book was a pleasant and diverting companion through 24 hours of autumnal greyness and post-flu vaccine misery.

[Godelieve · Rating 3 out of 5]

In het begin vond ik het een minder boek, veel te veel beschrijvingen. Duurde lang vooraleer ik me kon inleven in Irene.
Boek begon mij pas echt te grijpen vanaf het moment dat ze naar haar broer in Frankrijk vertrok.
Nicce Gerard is een kunstenares in beschrijvingen en gevoelens. Op een bepaald moment zat ik zo in het verhaal dat ik Irene werd en heel erg alles met haar meebeleefde. Heel herkenbaar voor mensen die ooit een stukgelopen relatie hebben gehad waar kinderen bij betrokken waren. Wegens de trage start geef ik het drie sterren, maar de laatste 100 bladzijden zijn er zeker vier waard.

[Caroline Jayson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about the break up of a marriage and the sense of betrayal and loss that goes with that.If you've ever been cheated on by someone you love you'll recognise the pain and despair Irene goes through when her husband leaves her for another woman.Irene's world falls apart and I thought her behavour was totally believable. I sympathized with her and identified with her. The book does offer some hope in the end and I would recommend this to anyone going through a similar situation as I think it would help.

[Zoe · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unfortunately, I gave up as I was nearing the end. The lead character was irritating and wooden and I just found her to be melodramatic and odd.
Nicci Gerard spent too much time giving too much unnecessary detail. I found myself having to skip large passages of descriptions of surroundings and I found it a bit dull. This book started off reasonably well – The scandal of an affair and wrath of a woman scorned – but it gradually became boring and slow. It completely lost me when this massive description about steering a boat ensued.. Just not needed.

[Marisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this could have been shorter by half, I was engaged up until the trip to France and the boat trip, however I could overlook the boat but the disjointed anger displaced by one of the members on the boat towards Irene was unnecessary. It was a sad story to the core but ultimately Irene is able to come back to the living for herself and her daughters. That was the only redeemable quality in this book.

[Kirsty Darbyshire · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story of a divorce; and much better than it might sound from that description! Adrian leaves Irene and their three young daughters and this is what happens as she falls to pieces and then gradually picks the pieces up again. Like Gerrard's last book I enjoyed it much more than the Nicci French thrillers she co-authors with her husband.

[Mireille Divjak · Rating 3 out of 5]

My first Nicci Gerrard book. After reading Nicci French this was totally different but it also had the depth in the caracters I love so much.
It tells the story of love, and loosing love. About the changes in a relationship over the years. I liked it but it wasn't as easy to read as I hoped. Not a beachnovel but very great for cold evenings in the autumn and winter

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first of her books that I had read although I have read several of the books she has co-authored with her husband.

The description of a marriage disintegrating was painful to read but the characters were believably flawed.

The ending was not entirely a surprise and was gently hinted at throughout.

[Michelle Richards · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am enjoying this book although it is pretty tragic and raw and you feel so sorry and embarassed by Irene as a woman who's husband has an affair and leaves. The worst bits are how the children treat her and the things they say, it breaks your heart.

[Fiona · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was the first Nicci Gerrard book I have read and I enjoyed it. A story of marriage, children, divorce and betrayal set in Hackney, London with realistic characters and a believable plot. Looking forward to reading some more Gerrard!

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read in a couple of days as couldn't put down. I cried towards the end, there was a twist that I didn't see coming. I'm a massive Nicci French fan, so I have a few of Nicci Gerrard's books to read now :)

My first summr holiday read.

[Hilde · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was just what I expected from Nicci Gerard, the female writer of the Nicci French books.
I adored it. I appreciate Nicci Gerrard books much more than the Nicci French-books. They go deeper,it's about real life. A book you can't stop reading.