Resisting Gossip: Winning the War of the Wagging Tongue

by Matthew C. Mitchell, Edward T. Welch (Foreword)

Gossip. It's on Facebook, on the television, in the break room, and even in our churches. With gossip being so prevalent in our culture, it can be hard to resist listening to and sharing stories about other people's business. But what does God say about gossip? And is it possible to follow his instructions? In Resisting Gossip, Pastor Matt Mitchell not only outlines the scriptural warnings against gossip, but also demonstrates how the truth of the gospel can deliver believers from this temptation.

Genres: Christian Living, Christian, Nonfiction, Christianity, Church, Counselling, Christian Non Fiction

190 pages, Paperback

First published September 2, 2013

About the author

Matthew Mitchell is Heather's hubby and daddy to Robin, Andrew, Peter and Isaac. He has pastored Lanse Evangelical Free Church, a 120-year-old rural church parked along Interstate 80, since 1998. The Mitchells live in the woods of Central Pennsylvania with a flock of free-range chickens. They love to read books, play games and go for long hikes.

A graduate of Moody Bible Institute and Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, Pastor Matt received his doctorate in biblical counseling from Westminster Theological Seminary in 2012. Matt is active in his family of churches, the Evangelical Free Church of America, and is the book-review coordinator for EFCA Today. He loves getting to talk about Jesus at conferences, seminars, retreats and workshops.

Matt writes a blog about passionate truth called Hot Orthodoxy, where he posts his thoughts on pastoral ministry and biblical counseling, book reviews and sermon manuscripts, links to helpful and humorous places, glimpses into family life and personal reflections along the journey of following the Lord Jesus Christ with both head and heart.

Reviews

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so thankful for this book. It reveals root issues to the too-often overlooked sin of gossiping. The author is never condemning and seeks to bring reconciliation and healing.

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some topics seem to elicit automatic groans or knee-jerk retaliation. Gossip is like this. Whether it is because we have felt so condemned and powerless over the issue in the past, because we don't feel it applies to us, or because of one-sided approaches to the topic, teaching about the sin of gossip has gotten a pretty bad rap in our day.

Into the void, steps Matt Mitchell with his thoroughly biblical handling, pastoral care, and positively convicting message. This is the kind of book that when one finishes reading, it is impossible to be the same again. The beginning part of the book helped me to grow in my understanding of my own sinful heart, putting aside my self-justification and rationalization. But alongside that positively convicting heart surgery, Matt's approach is truly to move toward walking in light and truth -- not for us to dwell in the spirit of condemnation. This book has completely changed my perspective on how I view, speak about and write about other believers, and the church.

Similar to books on prayer, there may be other books available addressing the topic, but when one like "A Praying Life" came along, it made such a huge impact - because of the depth, the Biblical foundation and the pastoral care by which the author handled the topic. The same thing is true for this book "Resisting Gossip".

I pray that this book will gain as wide an audience as "A Praying Life" has found, because it deserves to have as profound an impact.

[Amy Esslinger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good, practical, easy-to-read resource! This book was a good refresher of the things I’ve been taught after being in a Biblical church for several years. I didn’t glean much new information (not that it isn’t convicting still!), but it’s a helpful resource to have!

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first few words that come to mind as I am writing this book review are - "Get ready to be convicted." This little book of 190 pages tuned out to be a BIG book after all! Big, in the sense that I was convicted of sin in my life after only a few pages into reading it. And here I thought that I had gossip under control in my life. Turns out that Mitchell had a few lessons to teach me straight from the Word of God.

I loved it! Did I mention I LOVED this book? Mitchell has a way with bringing the Scriptures alive. While gently giving us the desire to seek more of where he’s coming from: the Gospel. Thus, creating in us a desire of purity in wanting to eliminate gossip in all its different forms.

What was astonishing to me and made me appreciate this author even more, is the fact that I never felt that he was placing a burden on me, moralizing me or judging me in any way. Many times he uses himself as an example. All the while leaving it up to the Spirit to do its work in our lives, while being the messenger of truth in delivering us such a needed well thought out biblical book.

This is an easy reader, friendly book, which is wonderful. Yet, it is also a book that won't leave you without some conviction on the part of the Holy Spirit if you’re really listening... impossible. As much as I tried, I can't find anything Mitchell didn't think to cover in his book! Not that I am looking for faults, but I'm thinking he must of forgotten something. Yet he seems to have covered all significant grounds. And there are quite a few!

Despite the fact that this book has only 190 pages, I found it to be incredible all he had covered on gossip. If you’re wondering why I was convicted of gossip. That's an excellent question. All I can say is that, when Mitchell starts explaining what gossip really is biblically, lived out in all different forms... I had an “a ha” moment! He not only explains in details what gossip is and isn't, he also gives us wonderful truths on how to stop gossiping. Tools taken straight from the Bible!

Like him, I also believe that most Christians are not being taught enough on the sin of gossip in our churches. Unfortunately, I think many of us believe we know what the sin of gossip is. But as I found out rapidly by reading his book, I had much to learn. I am so thankful for Mitchell’s book on “Resisting Gossip”. Honestly, I now comprehend deeper all that lingers beneath and around the issues of gossiping. Which enables me to say NO to gossip!

Here are some major topics that he covers in his book just to name a few:
Recognizing Gossip
What, Exactly is Gossip?
Resisting Gossip
Regretting Gossip

This book brings up a subject that we greatly need to be taught on, and unfortunately we just ignore the problem most of the time. Well, here is a wonderful tool to help us deal with this sin that is based on the Word of God. We are also given practical ways as to how to overcome this battle in our lives.

I leave you with this quote that sums up just how great a writer Matthew Mitchell is and so you can get a feeling of just how good his book is.

“If a desire for power is your temptation, then what you really want is Jesus. The power of gossip enslaves, but the power of Christ emancipates.” 1

1 Mitchell, C. Matthew, Resisting Gossip, Fort Washington, CLC Publications, 2013, p. 49

[Mandy J. Hoffman · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Overview

I thought I had a fairly good handle on gossip. That is until I read this book. While I was convicted over and over again, I was also gently encouraged with the grace of God and the real life answers that the Bible has to offer for overcoming this sinful habit. While being a fabulous in-depth read on gossip, this book is also incredibly easy to read and a balanced meal of theology and practical application of that theology. It simply defines gossip in terms that will sober any reader, then quickly gives hope and help through the Word of God. The many examples make it easy to see your own weak areas and know how to change them. This is truly the most thorough and helpful read on the topic of gossip I have ever read.

The Readability

Many books that pack a good punch when it comes to biblical truth can also be slightly dry to read. This one is not one of those books. Mitchell is an engaging author that keeps the entire flow of this book on the main point. Each chapter fits neatly together with all the others and you do not feel like you're reading a bunch of mini-books. It is also a fairly quick read that is so well presented that you do not have to work through this book, you can just enjoy the read. I was delighted to find that it is written in such a manner that a wide audience may read it and benefit greatly.

The Highlights

There are so many definitions of what gossip is that it can often times leave someone frustrated. This book goes right to the Bible to define, explain, and offer application in every-day ways. There are no promises, steps, or secret tips - it's straight application of God's Word that any reader can understand and apply.

The Recommendation

As you can already assume, I highly recommend this book. It's applicable and readable for teens and adults, men and women, and anyone at any stage of life. While there is no bad time to read this book, I do think it would be particularly helpful to read this before the holiday season in preparation for all the conversations that come along with the festive gatherings.

This book is also set up to make one awesome Bible study curriculum with a companion study guide and free videos on Mitchell's blog. For those who are familiar with Biblical Counseling, this is one of the best resources I have ever seen and I would recommend keeping several on hand for homework assignments. And all pastors should have this book in their library and pay special attention to the chapter called Cultivating a Gossip-resistant Church.

[Ebookwormy1 · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are some things that are clearly identified as sinful in the Biblical text and we, conveniently, avoid. We don't consider them as significant as immorality, yet these sins still entangle us and impede our relationship with God and others.

If you ever speak with people, this is a powerful book to help you examine what the Bible says about all those words we generate. Even if you think you are doing well, Mitchell’s examination of speech that honors God will help you grow in speaking edifying words to those around you -- and eliminate words that harm you and others. What makes Resisting Gossip even better is that it is written in an engaging way, so you won’t have to choke down the good medicine he is offering.

A particular take away for me was that I realized I need to be sharing the good things God is doing, not dwelling on life’s oh-so-commonplace frustrations.

The framework for the book may sound basic, but the application of the truths to gossip specifically is profound. Mitchell focuses on the biblical exhortations that 1) Christ died for this – the victory is won! The price is paid! 2) God gives us power to change through Christ and 3) He will ultimately, at his return, free us from the sin of gossip and all else that entangles us. This approach prevents the work from having a negative self-help-fix-yourself-already approach and grounds the wisdom presented in our sanctification in Christ.

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Disclosure Statement: I have known Matt Mitchell almost 20 years. He sent me a draft of the manuscript and asked me to participate in it's development as a critical reader. I have also received a pre-release copy of the book. However, I have not been compensated for my review in any way, and the opinions stated here are a true representation of my thoughts about this book.

[Gabriel · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've read on gossip. My pastor just preached on James 3 this pass weekend, and I had this book on my kindle to read for 2014, but I couldn't wait. I recommend every Christian read this book.

We've all have been victims and participants of gossip. But there is a way to resist and win the battle with gossip!

[Tessalynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
- Luke 6:45

Gossip takes no exclusions. At one point in our lives, we all have been actively involved in it by being an instigator, a victim, or both. Rumor mongering has ever been so appealing and prevalent that most of us would understate the malice that goes with it. It usually comes off with dignified social acceptance that makes it hardly distinguishable from a pastime or a preference. The perverted thrill to make a big deal out of somebody else’s business is hard to compute. We become less interested in self-reflection because in our prideful spirit, other people’s mistakes are more deserving of our criticisms. How does God feel about the times we chose to speak with a loose mouth? Are there real strategies that will empower us to avoid listening to and spreading gossip?

Scripturally reasoned and carefully detailed, Matthew Mitchell’s Resisting Gossip gives its readers practical tips on how to be freed from such a temptation. Captured in four major parts, each segment presents a confluence of real scenarios, biblical proofs, and discussion questions that could be used for personal and group reflections.

Recognizing sinful talk is highlighted in the first three sections of the book. Mitchell submits the Word of God on gossip in a single statement: Sinful gossip is bearing bad news behind someone’s back out of a bad heart. This sentence alone would tell us that anything we say mirrors the condition of our thoughts and emotions. The chapter also reveals a gallery of gossips. Profiled based on a person’s motivation – be it a sense of belonging, power, discontent, hatred, or boredom - we could easily find ourselves in the shoes of at least two of the five characters. Understanding the essential qualities of gossip can help us realize the need to surrender our mouths for a godly purpose.

In the second chapter, Mitchell offers proactive and powerful approaches to resisting gossip. The author suggests plans of action that would prod us to be more sensitive to what we think of, talk about, and listen to. Training our minds to believe the best in a person is a major step. This would direct us to exercise charitable judgment towards others. Coupled with spiritual discernment, we can combat the dangers of our wagging tongues either by offering words of mercy, talking to and about the Lord, or valuing silence.

Relating to God and the people who spread lies about us can also be very challenging. As we pine for our tarnished reputations, is it still possible to respond in faith and love? Since gossiping is definitely an outright betrayal, Mitchell shows the third chapter with King David’s vignettes when he was gossiped about. King David was completely honest about his hurt feelings in Psalms 140. But as he took the matter to the Lord to secure justice from his enemies, he never made his good name a source of idolatry. He had full faith in God’s sovereignty and timing. This section also makes the command “loving our enemies” doable. When we find ourselves the target of gossip, we should pray for our foes like Jesus did. Overlooking an offense or simply returning blessings for beatings may seem contrary to the world or even in our nature, but Christ assured us that when we do that, we get rewarded (See Matthew 5:46).

The four-part series ends in regretting gossip. When we lack the wisdom to preserve our mouths for purposeful talk, we have already offended God, others, and ourselves. Mitchell encourages us to let repentance be our stance, for it is much better than self-loathing. Through confession, we agree with the Lord that we sinned with our divisive tongues. Admitting our wrongdoing puts us in a position of humility, thus magnifying our Master’s faithfulness to forgive, heal, and restore.

Mitchell adds a bonus chapter on gossip-proofing the church. Given the mandate to love one another, we have to be steadily diligent in promoting unity. Every member is called to bear with, and not bite, one another. Leaders must also be spurred on teaching against the sin of gossip. They should never assume that people under their leadership can solidly tell the difference between right and wrong. While resolving conflicts caused by gossip may be easier said than done, prayers will always equip and remind us of the gospel.

I chose to read this book for three reasons: First, I am a big talker. I delight in sharing things that I know, relevant or otherwise. Sin is never sophisticated, and I admit not being classy when I engage in mindless chatter. Gossip is extremely deceiving. I often mistake it for a right to express myself. Now that gossiping has an explicit definition, I should begin owning up to the mess I have made.

Second, I was a victim of gossip. Hearing stuff that is untrue can be very mind-bending, but this book spared me from the throes of fleshly retaliation. Praying for my enemies and overlooking their faults do not completely relieve the pain caused by it, but I learned to rest in my Father’s leadership. I am certain that He is perfectly able to do something about it.

Lastly, I love breakthroughs. If we can be strategically genuine about fighting against gossip, consider the suggestions in this book as a head-start. I cannot aspire for meaningful fellowships with others if I do not keep my motives right with the Lord when I speak.
Our mouth has been created for God’s pleasure. If you are not certain about using it for the purpose for which it is made, but would like to relish in the unfolding of His amazing promises, this book is for you.

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5

Convicting, practical, encouraging, and concise. It even briefly addresses imprecatory Psalms, which was interesting. Knocked off half a star because I still have some questions, but overall this book was great.

[Michael Boling · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gossip. Admit it. We all fall prey almost daily to this insidious cancer. The urge to talk about someone in a manner that is not full of grace and truth is far too common in our lives despite the persistent commands throughout Scripture to avoid such activity. How do we deal with the temptation to gossip? What does gossip look like? Why is it wrong to engage in gossip? Answers to these and many other valuable questions on this topic are addressed by Matthew Mitchell in his timely and helpful book Resisting Gossip: Winning the War of the Wagging Tongue

Mitchell deftly defines gossip as “bearing bad news behind someone’s back out of a bad heart.” That definition is pregnant with meaning which Mitchell fleshes out in this excellent book. He rightly notes right from the start that “Gossip is hard to resist.” But how can we identify gossip and differentiate it from what is at times needed conversation or guidance when dealing with our fellow man? Is talking about someone when that individual is not present always classified as gossip? To help define what gossip is and what it looks like, Mitchell digs in to his previously provided definition noting that according to Proverbs 18:8, gossip is quite often a choice morsel that goes down to our inward parts. Thus, gossip is both “talking and listening.” We are guilty of gossip whether we actually say anything in the gossiping conversation or not.

Furthermore, Mitchell explains that gossip flows from the heart. This is in keeping with Jesus’ words to the Pharisees in Matthew 12:33-37 where he declares “the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.” This is a rather frightening thought. Gossip comes from the overflow of our hearts. It is something by definition that we actually delight in doing. Mitchell rightly notes “The residue of indwelling sin lingers within us and continues to create evil motivations even when we are Christ followers.” Dealing with gossip is a daily and continuous battle. Since this is a heart issue dealing with gossip must take place by the power of the Holy Spirit replacing the urge to speak ill of others with the desire to speak grace and truth to our fellow man.

Mitchell also identifies helpful ways in which we can resist the temptation to gossip. This is where the proverbial rubber meets the road and the part of the book I think is most helpful. In this section, Mitchell necessarily gets a bit “nerdy” by explaining some of the meanings to key Greek words used in the New Testament in relation to gossip. Understanding what these words mean is essential to better grasp how gossip reveals its ugly head in our lives. For instance, the word slander used in James 4:11 is the Greek word katalaleo meaning “to speak against someone, to talk them down, to speak ill of them, to disdain someone or to run somebody down verbally.” As Mitchell rightly explains, we have to make judgments and thus making judgments in relation to others is not inherently evil. He explains that when we “rush to judgment”, engage in “prideful judgment” or “unloving judgment”, we enter into the domain of gossip, the malicious and purposeful tearing down of others.

After establishing what gossip looks like and the ugliness that forms the basis for that activity, Mitchell next outlines ways to avoid the insidious cancer that is gossip. Instead of tearing others down, we are to do what the Apostle Paul commanded in Ephesians 4:29, namely only speaking that which builds others up according to what they need. Mitchell helpfully avers “Overcoming gossip is not just about what not to do but what to do.” This involves putting off that old man and its desires of the flesh and instead putting on Christ. Mitchell states “Doing this comes not through our self-effort but out of our faith in Christ and our new identity in Him.”

Another way to resist gossip is to practice active listening. Now listening can also be an evil activity given that we can participate in gossip by listening and not actively breaking off the unfruitful and unloving conversation. Thus, “How we are listening is determined by why we are listening. The key is to listen in love.” If we listen for the purpose of building up and weighing our response, a response that should be an imitation of Christlike love, we are on the path to breaking the pattern of gossip in our lives.

Gossip is a poison, one which has infected us all more often than we would like to admit. Mitchell’s book is replete with sound biblical advice containing the prescription that will dig at the root of this cancer in our lives. The only way to rid ourselves of this cancer is to have our hearts endure the life changing chemotherapy found in God’s Word and through the work of the Holy Spirit. I highly recommend this book by Mitchell for all believers, especially those who find themselves struggling with the sin of gossip which is pretty much everyone.

[Michal · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

[Brittany Shields · Rating 4 out of 5]

“The problem is not that we love stories but that we can love stories too much, and, especially, we can love the wrong stories.”

This is a good book reminding us of the ways we may mask or justify our gossip and exposes the evils of gossip.

It would be a good book to do in a small group and also a great resource for pastors. Mitchell is an EFCA pastor with credentials from Moody, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, and Westminster Theological Seminary and serves as the book review coordinator for EFCA Today.

Pastors will especially appreciate the bonus chapter called: “Cultivating a Gossip-Resistant Church” which details ways pastors can lead their congregation in how they relate to each other.


Resisting Gossip is just shy of 200 pages. I didn’t find it earth-shattering or even profound, but it is surely practical and probably more necessary than we’d like to admit.

Mitchell gives us five categories of gossipers:

1. The Spy (finding dirt on someone to use to your own advantage)

2. The Grumbler (complaining and criticizing… often masked as ‘venting’)

3. The Backstabber (motivated by revenge)

4. The Chameleon (trying to fit into a group; motivated by fear of being excluded)

5. The Busybody (escaping boredom; seeking entertainment; living vicariously through others’ stories)


You may not fall into all of these categories, but chances are, if you’re like me, you’ve done at least one or two, even if you didn’t realize it.

Dividing his book into four parts, Mitchell seeks to help us Recognize gossip (are we doing it?), Resist gossip (can we avoid it?), Respond to gossip (are we experiencing it?), and Regret gossip (are we sorry for it?)— the last one referring to God’s forgiveness for people repenting of gossip.

I liked how he uses Ephesians 4:25-29. Sometimes we focus on ‘stopping’ a certain behavior and forget about what we are actively pursuing.

He says this:

“Overcoming gossip is not just about what not to do but what to do…
Put off lying. Put on truth-speaking. (4:25)
Put off sinful anger. Put on peacemaking (4:26-27)
Put off stealing. Put on generosity (4:28)
Put off gossip. Put on up-building speech (4:29)”


Supported by Scripture throughout (a lot of Proverbs) with an emphasis on the gospel message of sin, forgiveness, and the help of the Holy Spirit, this book is biblical, practical, and encouraging.

Gossip is one of those things that is often hard to pin down. We have a lot of ways to rationalize what we listen to or what we say to others. We may disguise it as seeking advice, asking for prayer, or any other myriad of excuses, but when it comes down to it, this is the definition of gossip:

“the sin of gossip is bearing bad news behind someone’s back out of a bad heart.”

It is also “sharing someone else’s secret.”

It’s strange to say, but he tells us that not all gossip is sinful. We have to look at our hearts.

“Our sinful motivations for speaking about or listening to any form of bad news are what makes gossip sinful. Therefore, in recognizing gossip the most important question for us to answer is, ‘Why am I saying, listening to, or attracted to this?’”

Mitchell advises that most, if not all, gossip includes the sin of judging others.

“The spy tries to get people to feel judgmental enough to wrangle a secret out of them. The grumbler has decided in his heart that the person he is talking about is clearly wrong and exits a complaint, at least, and probably a much stronger denunciation. The backstabber is certain of her judgment and knows that her target deserves the retaliation that is on the way. The chameleon listens in on the judgments of others and does not speak up for fear of reprisal. The busybody escapes from boredom by issuing entertaining but condemning judgments about other people to his or her friends. Busybodies snicker at those they judge to be ‘the stupid people.’”


Much of this book requires honest reflection and willingness to consider changing the ways we talk to or about people. Is it really right or necessary for us to say the things we do? What is our true motivation?

Some ‘secrets’ are hard to keep, but when we see the ways relationships can be hurt and sometimes lives completely ruined by gossip, hopefully we can find strength from the Holy Spirit to hold our tongues.


As I mentioned, it is meant to be used as a tool for groups, churches, or church leaders to help navigate the complicated waters of gossip. There are discussion questions at the end of each chapter.

It is a pretty short book so I don’t know if it would make much sense to only take a chapter at a time. I would recommend either reading the entire book before coming together to discuss, or reading it in its four parts (as listed above).


It’s a quick read and worth it even if it’s something you think you know already. We all know gossip is bad, but don’t we all think we’re above gossiping because we know it’s wrong? We wouldn’t call ourselves gossipers. But do our words and actions line up?


“We have seen throughout this book how the gospel defeats gossip. As individuals, the gospel empowers us to resist gossip’s lure and gives us the ability to love instead. The gospel also covers us with grace when we have failed.”

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[Lorie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I placed this in my "Important" Bookshelf, and gave it 5 stars, because it was that compelling. I love that Mitchell wrote from the angle of not only resisting, but replacing the habit with productive, loving actions, not on our own power, but through Jesus' transforming power within us. Far from a boring scold, this book is empowering and motivating to the max. I feel utterly emboldened! And, forgiven through confession and the acceptance of God's grace. If the whole Church read this and took it to heart, the Church would be transformed, and more transforming, again, through the Power of the Lord. Great job, Mr. Mitchell!

[Peter Somervell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book on this subject I've ever found. Thoroughly biblical, practical and gospel centred. A huge help for my preaching series on the tongue.

[Tiffany · Rating 4 out of 5]

So many good reminders!

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a biblical book that was both practical and made me think very hard about how I talk. A bit convicting but in a good way!

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A must read for believers, best in a group setting.

[Michael L Gowens · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Resisting Gossip" is one of the most personally challenging books I've read in 2017. Mitchell's book is a "word spoken in season" to contemporary Christians, for it tackles a subtle, yet insidious and subversive sin. We tend to think of gossip, like worry, as one of those "little, white sins"--one that falls into the "acceptable" category. After all, everyone likes a juicy morsel of gossip from time to time. We chuckle at the suggestion that gossip is serious, remembering the line from the HeeHaw skit, "You'll never hear one of us repeating gossip; So you better be sure and listen close the first time."

However, gossip, talebearing, and other sins of the tongue are, in fact, extremely serious, chiefly because they are so pervasive. When Isaiah lamented, "I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips," he highlighted the area of human anatomy that participates with the greatest frequency in sin. Sins of the mouth--whether lying, boasting, blasphemy, cursing, hyperbole, verbosity, criticism, perjury, gossip, backbiting, talebearing, slander, and all the rest--constitute a major portion of our daily struggle in the pursuit of holiness. Because "all talk is heart talk," as Mitchell puts it (or, in biblical terms, "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh..."), lingual sins reveal serious heart trouble. Mitchell says, "There is something really wrong within us that makes us want to know and to talk about the shameful things other people do" (p. 27).

And yet this natural proclivity within us to gossip doesn't seem to be getting any better. "Our culture," says the author, "encourages gossip" (p. 161). From the tabloids at the grocery-store check-out counter, to the latest trending topics on Twitter, to television "talk" shows, to Facebook and other social media outlets, opportunities to either share or listen to gossip are everywhere. Mitchell observes, "Technology has made it possible for us to gossip long-distance" (p. 23). When Christian people yield to the fallen nature, adopt the patterns of this world, and succumb to the temptation to gossip, it does great harm to the gospel witness.

The sin of gossip is very subtle. Sometimes, it is even indulged under the guise of prayer. "We need to pray about Jim and Tammy. I'm not at liberty to share the details, but they need prayer for family trouble." It all seems so genuine and even spiritual, but everyone may not deserve to be apprised of Jim and Tammy's situation, even if it is true. The verse "Tell it not in Gath; publish it not in the streets of Ashkelon, lest the daughters of the Philistines rejoice..." may prove to be a necessary check and balance before "sharing" concerns about other people on Facebook, on the telephone, or on the church prayer list.

We should be very careful before we make (and before we allow others to make) other people the subject of conversation. We forget the Divine prohibition against violating the sanctity of another person's name ("Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor") at our peril. To steal someone's reputation is a serious ethical breach.

Gossip hurts not only the person who is the subject of the report, but also the person who listens to the gossip, as well as the one who spreads it. It hurts the one who reports it, for it reveals unloving motives that threaten to destroy gospel unity. It hurts the one who listens, for it promotes suspicion and paranoia that destroys trust between brethren. And it hurts the subject, for it undermines his influence and steals his reputation. As someone who has uncomfortably found himself in each of these three positions, I can testify that the pain associated with being the subject of pernicious gossip is the greatest. "The words of a talebearer are as wounds; they go down into the innermost parts of the belly" (Pro. 26:22).

I've never felt more helpless than when attempting to rectify the injustice done through malicious gossip. "The whisperer separates chief friends," and few experiences are more painful than to witness those who were once close confidants distance themselves because they were influenced by a whisper campaign. If you have been the target of malicious (or even, recreational) gossip, however, there is comfort to be found in knowing God to be both just and the justifier of the one who trusts in Christ. The Lord Jesus is a loyal friend, and he himself knows how it feels to be the subject of hurtful rumor. In his time, God will vindicate the righteous and condemn the unjust tongue.

Mitchell addresses many of the verses in Proverbs, James and the Psalms that concern the sin of gossip. He also gives hope through biblical counsel to those who have both perpetrated this crime and been victimized by it. The book helped me to recognize the many nuanced forms that gossip may take, and challenged me to pursue greater self-control of my words. May God help me to "set a watch before my mouth that I sin not with my tongue." Tolle lege.

[Shannon Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really helpful book I would recommend to all Christians. It talks about all the avenues that gossip effects us, how to deal with it and the forgiveness we have in Christ.

[Mark Lickliter · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a helpful (and almost the only one I could find!) book on the topic. I think there is something here to learn for everyone in the church. I think many Christians deceive themselves into thinking that they have never participated in gossip. I know I have. I think it is more common than we realize. This book will help your church biblically define gossip, and provide you with helpful ways to root it out of your church. I highly recommend it as a "go to" guide to winning the war on the wagging tongue.

[May · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent and practical book on something we all struggle with. I was convicted and challenged to put these truths into practice - giving grace and forgiveness to others because it's been given abundantly to me! It's never too late to turn from gossip and seek love.

[Bob · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Resisting Gossip” this book is good. It’s revealing, convicting, & encouraging to have some wisdom on this topic, to see more of the ins & outs of gossip, & to know what not to do & how to help. I still think the best book on gossip is “A Bible Handbook on Slander and Gossip”, by Robert Morey. However that book is a big heavy book; this one is more manageable & very down to earth & practical.

Unfortunately, many of us believe we know what the sin of gossip is. But as you will find out we all have much to learn. After reading this you will comprehend what lingers beneath & around the issues of gossiping.

Gossip has always been a problem & the Bible has a lot to say about it. Solomon warned against it, James compared it to a raging forest fire; Paul admonished those who engage in it. Today we face all kinds of new ways to encounter & to spread gossip. Facebook, Twitter, blogs, & endless electronic media simply add to the many ways we can speak wisely or speak foolishly, the ways we can relate to others in love or in spite.

So this book is timely, helpful, needed, & whether you read it alone or use it in group study it will be most profitable.

[Erica Schrader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every woman should read this book! In it, Pastor Matthew clearly defines gossip and addresses the heart problems that are behind those who gossip. He gives helpful and practical instruction on how to respond when you are the gossiper, when you are the one listening to gossip, and when you are the one gossiped about. All of this is communicated with pastoral care. If you are serious about growing in holiness, protecting your relationships, and protecting your church, you will read this book. It’s a must!

[Will Turner · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Apostle James tells us, “no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.”

No human being can tame the tongue, but with the help of God’s Spirit we may turn a raging fire into a tiny flame. There’s always the danger of it flaring up again, but Matt Mitchell’s Resisting Gossip helps us keep our tongues in check. It offers much needed backfires to keep our flaming tongues under control. A backfire is when firemen intentionally burn the fuel up that lies in the path of a raging forest fire. This cuts the fire off, directs it, and eventually starves it off.

Resisting Gossip offers followers of Christ necessary backfires to help win the war over gossip. Here’s Mitchell’s definition of gossip: “Sinful gossip is bearing bad news behind someone’s back out of a bad heart” (23). Gossip offers us “choice morsels” of news about others. We listen to it and we spread it. And the reason why we often tolerate and spread gossip is because of the depth of sin that remains in our hearts. Out of the overflow of our hearts the mouth speaks (Matt 12:33-37). What comes out of our mouths has root in our hearts. “Everything that comes out of our mouths reflects something that is deep within” (40).

In chapter 3 Mitchell presents us with “A Gallery of Gossips.” He argues that Scripture more often presents gossip as a noun. The words being spoken are important but those words flow out of someone’s heart. He five unique portraits of gossips. First, there is the “Spy.” The one who “betrays a confidence” (Prov. 11:13). They hear a piece of information and spread it along. Second, is the “Grumbler.” Those are the ones who vent, who with no constructive purpose, go on a rant. The third gossiper is “the Backstabber.” Mitchell writes, “Backstabbing gossip overflows from a heart bent on revenge, retaliation and real malice” (52). The fourth, is “the Chameleon.” They gossip out of fear and cave into peer pressure. Last, there is “the Busybody.” They talk about others because they have nothing else to do.

I appreciate that Mitchell makes clear, “Gossip… is a gender-equal sin” (56). For too often guys have gotten off the hook because we blame gossip on the female gender. It flows both ways. I deal with it constantly at work and it flows equally from both genders.

Mitchell explains the sinful heart motivation behind each of the gossipers, but I wish he would have fleshed out a bit more how the Gospel uniquely addresses each one of their heart issues. He did for the first two, but could have spent more time on the remaining three.

The second part of Resisting Gossip deals with how we resist gossip. He begins by helpfully pointing out that “Most, if not all, sinful gossip includes the sin of judging others. When we sinfully gossip, then even before we go and bear bad news behind someone’s back, our bad hearts have already passed sentence upon that person” (64). Gossip flows out of judgmental hearts. We rush to judgment without giving the benefit of the doubt. And when this happens the potential for destruction is limitless. The story of Emily is heartbreaking and sobering: “The fire started and cannot be put out” (66-67).

The next two chapters, 5 and 6, offer practical suggestions on how to stop gossip. We need to put off gossip and put on building-up speech (80). And we need to learn to listen. We must be careful though. There is a dangerous type of listening. They key is to listen in love (94). We need to lovingly learn the art and practice of shepherding conversations (99). I really appreciate this metaphor. Like a shepherd leading and guiding his sheep we need to shepherd our words and the words of others toward green and beautiful pastures.

Part 3 deals with how we should respond to gossip. We respond in faith and love. This is a structural suggestion but it would have been nice to have also had a chapter on how we respond to gossip with hope, thus completing the faith, hope, and love Pauline trifecta. He does briefly refer to the “end of gossip” but given the complexity and challenge of our flaming tongues it would have been nice to have an entire chapter devoted to the future hope. Hope that not only will one day our tears be wiped away, but so will our muttering, gossipy mouths!

He ends with offering a chapter for pastors on how to cultivate a gossip-resistant church. (I haven't finished this chapter yet. I will adjust review if necessary.)

Two minor “complaints,” suggestions really: First, given that today much of our “talk” is online it would have been helpful to have more specifically addressed, social media. Twitter, Facebook, et. al. are ripe for gossip. In reality, social media is fueled by gossip. One wonders: “if gossip would cease would social media fall away as well?” Second, it would be nice to have an appendix that lists key Scripture verses on gossip, the tongue, etc. that we could challenge ourselves with memorizing. If gossip flows out of a bad heart, our goal is to reshape and re-write that corrupt heart with God’s good Word.

Resisting Gossip is a helpful book for every Jesus follower. The taming of our tongues may seem beyond our reach, but with the help of the Spirit and the body of Christ such an endeavor is within reach. We strive for Christ-likeness with our speech with the hope that one day we will ultimately enjoy the perfection of maturity in Christ. A day that is yet to come, but a day that our hope is centered upon. On that day, our tongues will no longer gossip, slander, or tear down, but we will sing, praise, and rejoice in the glory of our Redeemer King.

Until then, we pray and sing and hope with Cowper:

When this poor lisping, stammering tongue
Lies silent in the grave,
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I’ll sing Thy power to save

[Clifton Hickman · Rating 4 out of 5]

We now live in a age of authenticity. I appreciate this in a lot of ways because it prizes vulnerability and fosters community. However, it can be easy to foster a culture of sinful gossip in attempts to be real as opposed to fake. In fact, how many of us have confessed to struggling with gossip? It isn,t because we do not struggle with it. Sometimes, (Me including) we shouldn't say what is on our minds and hearts because they are destructive words that flow from a sinful heart. Mitchell does a great job of explaining sinful gossip, why we do it, and how the gospel helps us to grow against it. He has some great biblical practicals on what to do to dissuade gossip when we are confronted with it.

[Cassandra Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Matt shares a wide array of wisdom on the subject of gossip. He offered insight to me in areas where I have gossiped, and in how to deal with when I have been the subject of the wagging tongue.

I didn't feel berated or put down by the instruction, but rather gently guided into Biblical truth.And there was a sense of Pastoral guidance and care for healing from being the brunt of gossip.

Matt used clear, Biblical teaching and breaks Scripture into original Hebrew to take the topic of gossip beyond the surface level "Just don't do it" messages which surround the issue.

As a Youth Worker, it has caused me to stop and think of ways to incorporate this into my curriculum.

[Oliver Pierce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gossip is not really the kind of thing I saw myself struggling with yet I was intrigued by book addressing the topic. It is a rarely talked about sin and originally wanted to read the book in order to learn how to deal with other gossips. However after reading the book I realized that I too struggle with gossip. I would honestly recommend this book to anyone; even those who think gossip is a sin other people commit. Matthew deals with the issue thoroughly from a biblical perspective and gives a lot of great practical advice to deal with gossip in your heart and others.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

A powerful challenge on the realities and consequences of gossip. It is becoming more obvious to me that this is definitely a universal problem. I often disguise it as my need to vent at the end of the day. I'm so quick to criticize rather than extending grace as I have received. Loaded with truth and extremely helpful practical questions for evaluating our thoughts, heart, and actions. Good read.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

If anyone should think she is something, this book will expose the utter foolishness of self-pride and will send her to her knees in recognition of her desperate need for the Savior`s Grace on an hourly basis. If she thinks she excels in love by her own strength, she will be moved to plead with God that her love for the bride of Christ would excel far, far more in a fuller understanding of the holiness of God that she offends every time gossip slips from her lips.

[Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

We none of us like to think of ourselves as gossips, but it's very tempting both to spread and to revel in gossip. In this book, Matthew Mitchell analyses what gossip is and how we can adopt strategies not to gossip or listen to gossip. He also suggests what our response should be if we are gossipped about. It's not easy confronting sin in our own life, but this book is helpful rather than condemning.