Marriage and Virginity According to St. John Chrysostom

by Josiah Trenham

This book is a treasure trove of the distilled counsels of St. John Chrysostom—distilled from his thorough knowledge of and love for the Holy Scriptures and his profound respect for and obedience to the mind of the Church—concerning matters of great interest and importance for people of all ages and circumstances: virginity, chastity, celibacy, marriage, contraception, parenting, family life, sexual practices, divorce, remarriage, and widowhood. You will find that this great fourth-century preacher and pastor of the Church still has an urgent (and salvific!) message to proclaim to people of the twenty-first century and beyond—the soul-profiting message of the beauty of consecrated virginity and the blessedness of marriage. I trust that after receiving his inspired counsel you will marvel at the beauty of the Scripture-based teachings so as to be lifted to the clouds in appreciation of and admiration for the God Who fashioned and sanctifies both states for His glory. May it be so!

—From the Foreword by His Grace Basil, Bishop of Wichita and Mid-America, Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese of North America

****

Saint John Chrysostom still speaks, today even louder than in the fourth century. Not all will wish to hear him, as not all wished to hear him then.… But those who have humility will find in him an able instructor, and will find a place of confidence in these confusing times. He radiates amidst the Holy Fathers of the Church as the great defender and sanctifier of the Christian home and city. Adherence to his teaching has produced innumerable saints in the Church, spiritually born both in the monastery and in the Christian home, and is capable of producing the same today.

—from the Afterword by Fr. Josiah Trenham

Genres: Theology, Marriage, Christian, Religion

298 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2013

About the author

Archpriest Josiah Trenham, Ph.D., is a native Southern Californian. He was ordained to the Holy Priesthood in 1993, and was awarded the Ph.D. in Theology from the University of Durham, England, in 2004. He has served as pastor of St. Andrew Orthodox Church in Riverside, Ca. since 1998.

Father Josiah is the founder and director of Patristic Nectar Publications, a company dedicated to “nourishing the spiritually thirsty with the sweet teachings of the Holy Fathers” in quality audio recordings. PNP produces both recordings of patristic works as well as recordings of lectures and homilies available in direct download formats. Father Josiah’s weekly homilies and additional theological reflections are published weekly and listened to by thousands all over the globe on The Arena podcast on Ancient Faith Radio.

Father serves as an instructor in and on the Board of Advisors of the Ss. Cyril and Athanasius Orthodox Institute in San Francisco. He is an adjunct professor of theology at St. Katherine College in Encinitas, Ca. (2010-present), and was an Adjunct Professor of History at California Baptist University (2003-2010). He is a member of the Orthodox Theological Society of America, and participates in yearly academic forums and symposia. Since 2004 he has served on the Mayoral Environmental Committee (GAP) of the City of Riverside. Father Josiah has also served as a member of the Secretariat of the Assembly of Orthodox Bishops in the United States since its inception in May, 2010. Father Josiah was married in 1988, and has ten children.

Father Josiah’s books and articles have been published by St. Herman Press, New Rome Press, Zoe Press, St. Vladimir’s Orthodox Theological Journal, Logos: A Journal of Eastern Christian Studies, The Journal of the Institute on Religion and Democracy, CIVA: The Journal of Christians in the Visual Arts, Divine Ascent, The Word Magazine, OrthodoxyToday.org, American Orthodox Institute, Sourozh, Pemptousia.com (Vatopaidi Monastery), Eastern Churches Review, and more.

Father Josiah has been interviewed by Fox News, Voice of Russia Radio (VR), Russian Television (RT), Ancient Faith Radio, Culture Shocks: The Radio Show of Americans United for the Separation of Church and State, and numerous local news outlets: ABC, NBC, KTLA, 590 AM talk radio, and more.

Father Josiah has conducted interviews for his own podcast with numerous religious leaders of Orthodox, Roman Catholic, and Protestant traditions including Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone of San Francisco, Metropolitan Kallistos Ware of Oxford, England, Pastor Jim Garlow of Skyline Church, San Diego, and Prof. Wesley Hill of Trinity Seminary, PA.

Father Josiah has conducted numerous diocesan, parish, and clergy retreats and seminars for every Orthodox Christian jurisdiction in America and in Canada. He has also spoken at numerous colleges and universities including Westmont College, St. Katherine College, Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology, St. Vladimir’s Orthodox Theological Seminary, St. Paul University, California Baptist University, San Jacinto Community College, and more.

Reviews

[Joshua · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is almost nothing in this book that accords with any modern "knowledge" about sex, marriage, and virginity. If you have come looking to have your views about these topics endorsed, look elsewhere—indeed, even most of the Orthodox I know would become irate at this book, myself included. I wanted to stop reading this book and throw it across the room at several points. I wanted St. John Chrysostom to be wrong about marriage and sex (or at least I wanted Fr. Josiah to be wrong in his interpretation). Yet the problem is that Chrysostom is right, and us moderns are grievously wrong, because we would make our passions and desires the ontological center of the cosmos.

This book seems most known for its condemnation of contraception (it counts as a condemnation for anyone who cares about what the Church Fathers have to say, at least). However, after reading it, I can safely say that this is the least incendiary thing in the book. There are many claims which are much more controversial, to wit: that sexual intercourse did not exist before the fall, nor was it "part of the plan," but is a distinctively non-paradisal activity; that God slowly weaned man off of incest and polygamy, and has now, under the New Covenant, made it possible for man to live even without monogamy, i.e. as a virgin; that virginity is greater than marriage; that sex is not a means to holiness, but is rather a distraction; that a couple ought not have sex on fasting days or sundays; that sex ought to be modest and not perverse (i.e. it ought to be vaginal exclusively); that marriage exists primarily to prevent sin; that the making of sex into a sacrament is a grave evil; that there is a single standard for both marriage and virginity (monasticism); that being married does not get you any allowances (parents are basically to work ceaselessly for the salvation of their families, rising before the sun to pray, fasting like monks, reading spiritual books whenever they can, shunning large estates and wealth, spurning adornments, having a room set aside to house the poor, and waking in the middle of the night to pray, among other things); and that there is no equality in marriage, but that the man is the head.

These things are very clearly antithetical to even the most "conservative" modern views of sex and marriage—even those expressed by the Roman Catholic Church, which likewise condemns contraception, but which teaches the "theology of the body," turning sex into a sacrament. Yet, at the end of the day, I am more willing to trust St. John Chrysostom than my inborn postmodern sensibilities and passions.

[Nathan Duffy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I suspect this topic/title would strike most -- even Christians, even many Orthodox Christians -- as perhaps dry or dull, but it's the furthest thing from, provided you have even a slight interest in the subject matter. The patristic understanding of these and related issues (sex, contraception, eschatology etc.) would strike the vast majority of modern Christians as peculiar and idiosyncratic, if not crazy, but it's the genuine teaching of the Orthodox Church even to this day. On its face, marriage and virginity seems like a narrow area of study, but from the Orthodox/patristic view, these are the only two authentic modes of Christian life itself, so it's actually an expansive topic. Father Josiah brilliantly examines this through the teachings of St. John Chrysostom, as he is the Church Father whose extant corpus has the most breadth and depth, thereby touching on many topics from many angles, and because his thought is reflective of the patristic period and in concert with other Fathers. A welcome and direly needed antidote to the ever-expanding feminized and/or liberalized Christianity that abounds.

[Mina · Rating 5 out of 5]

A deep, challenging, substantial, fascinating book. Recommended if you want to know what Chrysostom taught. Not recommended if you want to revisit everything you held to be true about marriage, sexuality, virginity, and family.

[Marcas · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very poor effort; it doesn't add anything of value Historically or Theologically. Trenham's work is severely lacking in it's placing of Chrysostom in any honest historical context and is more worryingly, very theologically flawed about key elements of Christian Life.
This work is not unlike JP2's 'Theology of the Body' quite ironically, not only in those ways mentioned above but in it's incredible academic hubris and naivety.

The ideas around birth control are anachronistic and lacking when compared to the more multifaceted understandings among serious Moral Theologians.
There are much better, much more orthodox options out there relating to Marriage, 'Eros' , Agape, Philia, sexuality and the purposes of monasticism, ascetism, etc.
Much prayer and rigorous exegesis is essential in any work on Marriage and Virginity beausethey're so complex and you're safer looking at the work of Fr Meyendorff, Fr John Behr, Evdokimov, Sherrard, Dr Richard M Davidson, Fr Ed Vacek, WB Zion, Evgeny Lampert, Samuel Terrien, Tremper Longman, Werner Neuer, Fr R. McCormick, Dr Guroian et al for that. Even crazy old fools like BP Mitchell and V Moss do a better job than Trenham (Each with serious problems of their own though).

These and others offer much more enlightening and nuanced approaches. A deep understanding of exegesis is needed to show how shallow works like this are, which unfortunately is something that most Lay People wont have and that's why books like this are so dangerous. There are unjustified underlying assumptions which lend themselves to an unorthodox clericalism and the idea that the virginal state is superior to the Marital state shows an incredible misinterpreting of both the Old and the New Testament, especially Paul. Moreover, since Genesis is key to any Marital Theology, see Peter Bouteneff's, John Walton's, Jordan Peterson's, Robert Alter's, Fr Louth's, Bill Arnold's, Alice Linsleys etc books, articles and talks on Genesis to see just how complex our relationship with Scripture is in reality.

The liberal Adrian Thatcher or Patricia Beattie Jung, even with their heretical elements, offer a great alternative from that end as well and by listening to people like them we can see just how 'orthodox' a lot of those claims, like those in this book, actually are.
Thatcher's Exegesis of Song of Songs and recognition of its Liturgical significance should add another nail to the coffin of the argument for virginity as a higher state.

Other Liberals, such as Timothy Johnson, when read charitably (as Alan Jacobs would put it) have good points in their work, which should not be dismissed because they're proclaimed to be 'liberal' or 'heterodox'; things are not nearly so simple.
Mark D Jordan's work on Aquinas is worth considering to place the tone of works like this in historical context. There is no place for an Eastern Orthodox Manualism to replace the old Catholic one. (See Alvin Rapien's article on The Church Fathers as well, to show how hard it is to read' them.)

I suggest one should avoid this pseudo- orthodoxy and read the Bible and Fathers collectively and directly instead or else look for a more capable scholars, or better, a collection of scholars. (Fr Behr, Fr Florovsky, Martin Thornton, Peter Leithart, Alice Linsley, N.T Wright etc)

Let's Hope and Pray for a Pentecostal Way of Exchange as Alan Jacobs calls it or a balance of the schools and the wilderness as Martin Thornton calls it. Ascetism and Mysticism, Marriage and Monasticism.

[Joshua Finch]

This was a big influence for me when I read it, but regrettably so, because I have heard doubts about the academic quality of this work, and I heard these doubts from a PhD student who has spent years reading St John Chrysostom as his focus. He said Trenham is not cited in academic circles. Well I also disagree with this student about the topic, which is where I disagree with Trenham, to be fair. But I think he's probably right about the quality. And I disagree with Trenham on the basis of Bradshaw's insights. And I trust Bradshaw more.

Here was my main topic of interest. Marriage will be abolished in the eschaton. That's what we know from the relevant scriptural verse. But what does it mean to live as the angels? What *kind* of marriage is abolished? The kind that the Sadduccees thought was unchangeable - to be strict. Obviously there is the marriage of Christ to the church and to each soul. So there is some kind of marriage. We will have bodies in the eschaton. We will have gendered anatomy. Also contraception is not necessarily a sin. (See the interview of Ubi Petrus with David Bradshaw.) So non-procreative sex for unity looks both physically and morally possible in the eschaton. Augustine said sex could have happened in Eden. And yet many fathers say it won't happen, at least not physically. It will be a union of souls as Chrysostom says in Letter to a Young Widow (cited in this book), spouses will reunite, it won't be physical marital relations but something different, more delightful, more 'dignified.' Rather like the body in 1 Corinthians 15, it is like a seed now, and so I infer the relations between bodies are in seed form now, and then it will be like a grown plant in the kingdom, and so will their relations. And so I infer the kind of sex in the eschaton is an actualized, spiritualized version of what we have on earth, which is like potential, a seed which must die and transform. And spouses will reunite. What about the unlucky bunch who didn't want to be monks and didn't find a spouse? Perhaps if they have the Christian virtues to make it, they will have someone available for them, and a non-earthly marriage or spiritual type of monogamy will be available, of the kind after angels, just as spouses have an exclusive unique relation that (as Chrysostom says) will never be erased. And another difference is that it will be entirely free, whereas on earth you are focused on externals, while externals are no longer defective here. I don't know.
Ok. So similar to universal salvation, I believe the fathers are wrong sometimes or being rhetorical or pragmatic, and that even the earthly form is *possible*. I don't *know* that it's possible, much less that it will happen. But I prefer to set my hopes on what the patristic mind validates, for my own sanity. I prefer for the seed to die in good soil and not lose what is spoken of here in the more sober version presented by Sts Paul and John.

This is what I wish I had heard when I picked up this book. But instead I got questionable views which I no longer agree with, on contraception, and on miscellanious other things here. I suppose it was worth reading only because it introduced me to a lot of these ideas and sources, but I would find something more academically well founded if I were you and you care about the details.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a timely refresher on the Orthodox Christian understanding of marriage and virginity: Virginity is the highest state, but marriage is honorable for purposes of procreation, the proper ordering of our sexuality, and the rearing of children into the Christian life.
Fr Josiah Trenham provides generous quotes from the Fathers, focusing on the writings of St John Chrysostom. The points that he makes shouldn't really need this much defense, especially within the Church, but in our time unfortunately they do. Many 20th-century Orthodox writers have at least partly embraced a modern, romantic view of marriage and sexuality, elevating human affection to a kind of sacramental status. In this view, the monastic/celibate calling was demoted to the status of a somewhat eccentric calling for a few, rather than one which every Christian should at least consider. (Note: I'm writing this as a married Orthodox Christian).
Fr Josiah is especially careful to refute the view that St John's views on marriage and virginity "evolved" over the course of his ministry toward what we would see as a more liberal view. Using well-chosen passages from various points in the Saint's life, he makes a convincing case that this "evolutionary" view is wishful thinking on the part of those who have difficulty accepting the consistent teaching that marriage is honorable and important, while virginity/celibacy is best.
In a chapter entitled "Barren Intercourse: Contraception in the Teaching of St John Chrysostom" Fr Josiah presents material that may be especially troubling to Orthodox Christians who have only been exposed to modernist-tinged views. He notes that St John Chrysostom, along with the Fathers who spoke on the subject, explicitly condemned contraception. Many Orthodox Christians think that this is a sectarian Roman Catholic view not held by Orthodoxy, but this chapter makes a very good case that, like it or not, opposition to contraception has been the consistent teaching of the Church.
In making his case, I felt that Fr Josiah downplayed some of St John's more positive statements on married sexuality. He mentions but (I think) minimizes St John's recognition of sex as a bonding agent that works to maintain the couple as 'one flesh'. St John's more marriage-positive statements have certainly been used to distort the fullness of his views, but perhaps this book's much-needed corrective leans a bit too far in the other direction.
This is a helpful and important book. I wish all Orthodox Christians (and all Christians striving to live by the timeless teaching of the Church) would read it. It would be especially helpful for young Christians seeking to discern their path in life.

[Paul Durst · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book. I have read the popular patristic book published by SVS Press On Marriage and the Family Life that compiles some of St. John's homilies on Marriage, but this book covers far more than that book covered.

This new book by Fr. Josiah Trenham goes into an overview of prior patristic thinking on marriage and virginity, St. John's anthropology to better understand his thinking of marriage and virginity, and helps to dispel many of the modern prejudices concerning marriage. It was refreshing to read a well articulated and blunt account of the proper ends of Christian marriage, it's relation to our spiritual life, and the Christian understanding of sexual intercourse. I had always accepted that the Church has placed virginity over the married life, but until this book I could never quite see why. While virginity is better, the married life is still good and honorable and not to be despised.

As a married Orthodox Christian, I highly recommend this book to obtain a proper Christian understanding of marriage in these confusing times in order to better live a life in Christ.

[Radoje · Rating 1 out of 5]

Fr. Josiah's scholarship is subpar, he frequently misquotes St. John, or makes gross misattributions (anyone familiar with Greek or in possession of the collected works of St. John is welcome to verify this). It is clear that the works of St. John Chrysostom are merely a tool for Fr. Josiah to propagate his crypto-Calvinst views. I do not make these criticisms lightly. I am a very traditionally-minded Serbian Orthodox believer, but it is clear that Fr. Josiah's teaching owes more to a hermeneutic formed by loony-tunes Calvinist "biblical patriarchy". Not surprising from a priest who has confused slavish devotion to right-wing politics with the teachings of the Church.

[Levi Crawford · Rating 5 out of 5]

It doesn't get much better than this!

Father Josiah is an extremely gifted speaker and writer, so when my friend and I began engaging in the Orthodox contraception debate, I tapped into his doctoral thesis on one of the greatest Fathers.

Every inch of this book was a treasure. Chrysostom means "Golden Mouth", and it's not hard to understand why.

I will publish a lengthier review in a few weeks when I re-read this book.

[Grace Tull · Rating 3 out of 5]

I want to start off by saying I LOVE Josiah Trenham and all the work he does.

However, I feel like this work is lacking, and I'm not so sure exactly what. It gives a lot, yet at the same time...nothing... don't get me wrong, there is some value in this book. but it didn't give me any new insight. If you want to have your life changed, go listen to Priestmonk Kosmas on YouTube.

[Monique Mathiesen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insanely convicting book on so much more than the title implies. In particular, I found chapters 4 and 5 on how to “live like monastics” within the family dynamic/create churches within our homes to be so profound. The bar is high for both virgins and the married; Lord help us all!

[Fr Patrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Important.

[Aubriella · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook read by Fr. Josiah himself & it was excellent!

[William Tu · Rating 4 out of 5]

The last two chapters were not on the topic of virginity and marriage. Chapter 5 was on contraception, chapter 6 was on the transfigured body in the future.
Overall, this is a good book, because it quotes extensively the other works on virginity, by the Church Fathers.