Self-Defeating Behaviors: Free Yourself from the Habits, Compulsions, Feelings, and Attitudes That Hold You Back

by Milton R. Cudney, Robert E. Hardy

“The most detailed examinations of self-defeating behavior I have ever read…. Very useful." — Albert Ellis, PH.D., President, Institute of Rational-emotive therapy, and author of A New Guide to Rational Living  "Some of my patients would not need therapy if they would read this book." — Dr. Alan Loy McGinnis, author of The Power of Optimism The groundbreaking theory expounded in Self-Defeating Behaviors asserts that, with each new moment, people have the ability to make a choice for either a self-defeating or self-enhancing behavior; this is the guide to freeing ourselves from the inappropriate and crippling behaviors that sabotage our success.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Personal Development

256 pages, Paperback

First published December 1, 1991

About the author

Milton R. Cudney, Ph.D., (1930–1992) was a professor of counseling at Western Michigan University in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Dr. Cudney originated the theory to eliminate self-defeating behaviors which asserts that at each new moment people have the ability to make a choice for either a self-defeating or life-enhancing behavior. He wrote the book Self-Defeating Behaviors: Free Yourself from the Habits, Compulsions, Feelings, and Attitudes That Hold You.

Reviews

[Daniel Currie]

I got about about a third of the way thru this before I realized if is really no different than many other self-help books. Altho the philosophy espoused may be 100% percent correct, unless it is something you can recognize as well as carry with you on a daily basis it isn't going to do you much good.

If you want to sit and go thru it point by point you might be to glean a salient point out of it, but how many people are going to do that? It has to be something simple, and this sure as heck isn't that.

So if you are ready to be your own therapist, trust everything in this book, and be committed to doing every single thing it says diligently, I don't see how it is going help you. And if you were the kind of person who was willing to do that I would say you aren't the kind of person who needs it too much.

[Aaron Cheng · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting look into how we make life decisions, and how to choose winning behaviours over self-defeating ones.

[Apryl Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was better than I'd expected, and it's helping to transform my life in ways I hadn't expected...provided I follow-through, and continue to take action on theory.

Considering that the root of the word 'sin' comes from the archer's term for 'missing the mark', it's a simple connection to see how those flukes where I neglect to live out the image of my Creator result in falling flat on my face again and again.

Ridiculously, these self-defeating behaviors are so obvious to everyone else but myself. Why is that?

Want to know why, and what to do to overcome? Be strong and courageous, and willing to address the truth that this book exposes.

29 Sept. 2016: I gave this one a re-read (after maybe 10 yrs?). It was good to see that I've outgrown a lot of my SDBs, even thought I still have a long way to go. As for my previous comment—that my SDBs are obvious to everyone but me—by taking the time to ask myself the questions presented throughout the book, I could honestly confront my shortcomings. I think that was was simply too immature--too caught up in shame & blame--to be able to learn and grow with lasting success until I was able to identify my triggers, name my fears, and effectively choose healthy replacement techniques.

[J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book I found to be extremely helpful. The book likes to posit the belief that while it is not your fault for adapting a self-defeating behavior, it is your fault for maintaining it in perpetuity.

The manner in which this book is set up is very helpful, first they call us to understand the nature and process of the Self-Defeating Path then with that understanding in place show us the Path of Breakthrough, the author also does a wonderful job of presenting case studies and following those case studies through out the book to show us how they work.

I used this to help figure out ways to break out of one self-defeating behavior pattern, and will probably replicate this going forward into others to help me come out a better person, they helped me a lot.

[Madison Goode · Rating 4 out of 5]

Girl read this!!

Let truth slap u in the face. recognize the toxic messages that have indoctrinated you without your permission for what they are. recognize who you are. be responsible for yourself. LIVE LIVE LIVE

[Nadine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was great. I originally choose it to read because of the Psych class I was taking this semester, but it is truly a wonderful book with great insights for us all.

[Elizabeth Black · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book that offers profound insight. Can be hard to read at times as it gets a bit complicated and clinical, but it is well worth the effort

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full of great information, I've reread it several times. I can always open to a random page and be reminded of a bad habit and how to address it.

[J Crossley · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book looks at the ways that we attack ourselves and how to overcome these tendencies.