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304 pages, Paperback
First published February 4, 2014

His Juliet stood before him, or at least, the shape of her, frozen in blood, monochromatic crimson, but unmistakably her. Thick chains bound her across neck and waist; manacles clasped her wrists. Her eyes were the worst of all, open, bloody, blank and unseeing, yet somehow still accusing.Romeo is desperate to rescue her. The witch tells him that the person he seeks is in the North. She gives him a cryptic clue:
“You must go north. You will find the man who can help you there.”The man Romeo seeks is Hamlet.
“Farther. Farther than you have ever traveled. Over the mountains, to a castle by the sea. The seat of a murdered king.”
...the unearthly portal that divided the realm of the living and the dead.Against all odds, Romeo finds Hamlet. They don't exactly get along at first. Romeo is distrustful of this drunken prince. Hamlet suspects Romeo of being in league with his uncle---who else knows that his father has been murdered. Finally, they overcome their differences: together, Hamlet and Romeo descend into the corpseway, down into the Underworld.

But they were gone, the hillside, too. Romeo found himself in a strange, barren wasteland.HAMLET'S ABOUT TO DIE! LET'S END THE CLAPTER ON A CLIFFHANGER.
He was alone.
He plunged into the spectral river on the maggot’s back, and when it surfaced, screaming its rage from its horrible, rotting mouth, he saw through the portal.A chapter later, oh, why there he is, reappearing out of thin air.
And he knew Romeo would not save him.
“It’s me.”All safe and sound with no explanation whatsoever. HOW THE FUCK?!
“I don’t care!” Romeo could not hold back his anger any longer. “You’re mad, and I’m a fool for letting you lead me here.”Romeo is bitter, he is self-pitying, he is a whiny git, and I wanted to punch his lights out. Hamlet feels much the same way.
Hamlet groaned. “Oh, stop pitying yourself. You were desperate and unhappy at home, you’re desperate and unhappy now. Nothing has changed, except that now we’re closer to your goal.”He never, ever stops fucking whining. Hamlet isn't my favorite character in the world, but he has my compassion, because he actually tells Romeo to, well, shut the fuck up and grow some balls.
“Have you listened to a word you’ve said? You’re miserable without your true love, and you’ve come here to find her. You are closer to rescuing a loved one from death than any man has ever been, and now all you’re doing is complaining.”Hamlet: Well, to be fair, Hamlet is kind of intolerable sometimes. He is by far the most level-headed of the two, but he has a few inappropriately snarky moments where he could be a leeeeeeeettle more sensitive to poor Romeo. They're plunged from the normal world into Valhalla, they're about to get stabbed by a Frost Giant. Naturally, it's neither a good place nor time to make light of things.
“I thought you said it wasn’t terrifying!” Romeo shouted, his eyes wide with fear.Yeah, I'd say so!
Hamlet shrugged. The bastard actually shrugged as he lay there on the stone. Romeo would have punched him, but there were more pressing matters at hand than the prince’s maddening attitudes.
“I don’t know. I never stepped completely through the corpseway.” Hamlet’s thought trailed off as he moved through the light, sliding his feet cautiously along the floor. “Seems safe enough. Come on.”Oh, it SEEMS safe enough. Well, that's just fucking dandy now.
“I stuck my head in,” Hamlet argued. “It came out again. And my father’s ghost was able to traverse the corpseway. I see no reason that it might not work exactly as I’ve described.”That makes perfect sense.



“Was there no way to find out, before you did this to me?” Juliet asked, her large brown eyes full of hurt. “The two of you never thought that a bit more preparation might have been required before tampering with the forces of life and death?”She can wield a sword, but HOW THE FUCK?
Juliet proved tireless with her blade, to Hamlet’s surprise and delight. He could not imagine the ladies of his uncle’s court taking such bloodthirsty delight in defeating monsters.Well, that's just awesome, but HOW?! How the fuck did Juliet learn to wield a sword so capably? She has not been fighting in the underworld, she has been a prisoner, chained, suffering from partial amnesia. In life, she was a pampered, loved noblewoman. How the FUCK did she get so competent?
But Romeo had seen this fire in her from the very instant they’d met, though it had been only a small spark then. Set among the tinder of conflict, she was now ablaze.I love Juliet in this book, I really do, but this is not Juliet!

The cloth fell away from the thing’s face, revealing no eyes, no nose, just the sightless, round countenance of a maggot and a circular mouth full of teeth in endless rings.But it's just way, way too fucking much because as entertaining as it is, the plot is completely lost in it.
Something in Juliet’s voice bothered Romeo. There was a smirk to her tone that was too comfortable with the prince. She spoke the way she had spoken to Romeo that night at her father’s party.But thankfully, this book was without.
