Drop the Worry Ball

by Alex Russell, Tim Falconer

How to avoid being a helicopter parent--and raise well adjusted, truly independent children In an age of entitlement, where most kids think they deserve the best of everything, most parents are afraid of failing their children. Not only are they all too willing to provide every material comfort, they've also become overly involved in their children's lives, becoming meddlesome managers, rather than sympathetic advocates. In Drop the Worry Ball, authors Alex Russell and Tim Falconer offer a refreshing approach to raising well-adjusted children--who are also independent and unafraid to make mistakes.In this practical sensible book, parents will truly understand the dynamics between parents and their children, especially the tendency of children to recruit their parents to do too much for them. The book also counsels that failing--whether it's a test, a course, or a tryout for a team--is a natural part of growing up, and not a sign of parental incompetence.Shows how to resist the pressure to become over involved in your child's lifeHow to retire as a gatekeeper or manager of your child's life, and become a genuine source of supportBuild trusting relationships with teachers, coaches, camp counselors, and other authority figures--so they can play an effective role in your child's lifeUnderstand problems such as ADHD, anxiety, and substance abuseA guidebook for parenting courageously and responsibly--allowing your kids to be who they are while building structures that keep them safe--Drop the Worry Ball is a must for any parent who wishes to be and do their very best.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting

256 pages, ebook

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Donna Parker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. About common sense, reality, and practicality - wow, things you don't find a lot these days. I can think of quite a few people that should not only read this book, but memorize it, breathe it, sleep with it under their pillow and for goodness sake, implement some of the ideas. I know it really made me think...They should hand one of these out whenever someone has a baby.

[Caitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was not only an easy read and highly practical, it opened my eyes to things I do with my children that are not helpful and not helping them become strong adults. I would recommend this book to every single parent. It is for parents of children of all ages and Dr. Russell does a great job of explaining ideas and ways that we need a bit of a more hands-off approach with our kids. My husband and I had lots of conversations as a result of this book, and we don't agree with everything he's written (morally), but everyone needs to read this. He's Canadian, so be prepared for lots of hockey illustrations!

[Loretta · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first time I read this book my oldest child was 12. Reading it again when my youngest child is 13 gave me a new perspective on the authors ideas. I do agree with how he states we need to let go, allow our children to fail when they're younger so they learn how to cope with life when they are older. I don't agree with all of the ideas given in this book, but at its core, it is a good read. He walks through all the stages if childhood. I would have liked a bit more guidance in the book in how to respond to certain situations but I guess everyone's circumstances are different. All in all, the author teaches that children need to learn about responsibility and anxiety rather than having us parents take it on for them, which leaves parents feeling frustrated and tired of nagging. This gives children more independence as they age and helps them find their own way.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful parenting advice woven through family cases observed by a Toronto psychologist. The tactful and gradual presentation might allow helicopter parents to reflect a bit on their attitudes and behaviours to consider stepping back to allow their children space to begin worrying (i.e. being responsible) for themselves.

[Diane Bonk · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book. A very easy read with a common sense approach to parenting.

[Michael A Aharon · Rating 1 out of 5]

Good book, read it front to back a few times as a preparation for my children’s therapeutic sessions with the author. He is a good speaker, a decent writer, unfortunately a sub par, ineffective therapist when it comes to certain difficult situations that some parents may encounter in their lives. One such situations is separation and divorce that can leave quite a havoc in children’s lives when parents are unable to put their conflicts aside. The author has no significant background or training in such situations, and more importantly a very high failure rate in helping such children. His results are often devastating to both parents, extended families and most importantly the children.
I recommend the book, but encourage people to take it with a grain of salt and not seek therapeutic interventions with this gentleman in cases that require specialized training. Just do your research and listen to your gut feelings.

[Sarah Butler]

Ronitt suggested

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard the author speak earlier this year. The talk was excellent and many of the same things are covered in his book. It is perhaps geared more for parents of teens. It helped remind me of how important it is for me to allow my kids to fail sometimes and suffer the natural consequences of their mistakes. Easier said than done. Just last week one of my kids wasn't home from an outing with a friend on time and we needed to leave to go to a party. I wanted to drive around and look for her (she was biking). Russ said no, we should leave without her. It all turned out good in the end. When she arrived home 20 minutes late she was still able to catch a ride to the party with friends. If they had already left though, she would have missed the party and I think she will remember to be prompt in the future.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book and I think that for me, the timing was great. I try not to read too many parenting books, as it becomes overwhelming, but this one was recommended by a VP, and I can see why. My kids are at the perfect age for me to start stepping back, and to give them more responsibility over their own lives, especially for my older child at school. This book has some great examples and some great advice and I will definitely choose to implement some of it. I like how a distinction was made between a safe and secure home life and the reality of the rest of the world and how mom and dad cannot bail out a child from every situation. For my own curiosity, I would love to go back and read two of my other favourite parenting books, Connected Parenting, and Hold Onto Your Kids, because I expect some conflicting tips!

[Tara Waudby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Patents and Teachers: Read This Book!

This is a must read for all parents and educators. As a teacher, I am inspired to change the way we communicate and I am planning on developing a series of parent workshops based on many of the principles presented here. Parents, read this book. Teachers, read this book. And then, support each other. Respect each other. And let our kids fail so that they can earn success!

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Useful as a parent and a teacher. I love that Russell doesn't give specific how-tos but rather articulates a philosophy. In fact, I felt like I was getting confirmation of lots of ideas that I've had trouble pulling together. I've already passed this book on!

[Tasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author is Canadian, which makes some of the commentary relevant to our situation.
There is a lot of the main analogy used in the book, as well as some good examples of families the author has worked with.

[Kathie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very eye-opening book, and I feel I came aware with some valuable information and insight (even though it didn't all feel comfortable for me.)

[Dan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for parents and useful as an educator.

[K Hue · Rating 4 out of 5]

good to read alongside alison gopnik's "the gardener & the carpenter"...