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Fixing Avoidant And Anxious Attachment In Your Relationship: Attachment Styles Workbook to Stop Overthinking and Relationship Anxiety and Build a Secure Attachment
Do you always find yourself hoping and praying that your relationship will work while never actually taking the time to enjoy it for everything it is?
Are you someone who struggles to trust your partner, constantly overthinks, and ultimately risks pushing them away?
These types of feelings are common, but that doesn’t mean you should have to endure them for the rest of your life. What I want to do right now is show you that when you come to terms with who you are and how your relationships work, you’ll be able to break free from the underlying anxiety that always seems to be there.
If you want to get a feel for what I’m talking about here, consider what would happen if you gave yourself permission to stop worrying. You would find you have so much more mental energy to spend on the things you love in life, all while realizing just how wonderful your relationship really is. The real problems that actually exist become so much more likely to be fixed now that you’re no longer distracted, and quality time becomes more and more common.
Now, you might think this all sounds too good to be true, and for a lot of people out there, it is. What makes you different? I’m going to personally connect you with a resource that will guide you through everything you need to know.
“Fixing Your Attachment Style” is the only way to change what’s wrong and celebrate what’s right. I know you can do this!
Inside Fixing Avoidant And Anxious Attachment In Your Relationship, you will discover:
What attachment theory is and how it came to beThe role of childhood development in developing an attachment style The four major types of attachment stylesIdentifying your attachment styleHow your attachment style impacts how you interact and relate with othersWhy some attachment styles attract each otherTools needed to change your attachment styleOvercoming jealousy and insecurity in relationshipsOvercoming codependency and improving interdependenceWhat attachment styles exhibit codependent traitsTips for building and maintaining healthy relationshipsAnd a whole lot more!
One-click NOW will change your relationship! You can be anyone you want to be, and all within the confines of a secure, loving, and caring relationship. It’s all about finding a way to deal with your anxious self so there no longer feels like there are three of you in the relationship.
Let’s make the change!
Are you someone who struggles to trust your partner, constantly overthinks, and ultimately risks pushing them away?
These types of feelings are common, but that doesn’t mean you should have to endure them for the rest of your life. What I want to do right now is show you that when you come to terms with who you are and how your relationships work, you’ll be able to break free from the underlying anxiety that always seems to be there.
If you want to get a feel for what I’m talking about here, consider what would happen if you gave yourself permission to stop worrying. You would find you have so much more mental energy to spend on the things you love in life, all while realizing just how wonderful your relationship really is. The real problems that actually exist become so much more likely to be fixed now that you’re no longer distracted, and quality time becomes more and more common.
Now, you might think this all sounds too good to be true, and for a lot of people out there, it is. What makes you different? I’m going to personally connect you with a resource that will guide you through everything you need to know.
“Fixing Your Attachment Style” is the only way to change what’s wrong and celebrate what’s right. I know you can do this!
Inside Fixing Avoidant And Anxious Attachment In Your Relationship, you will discover:
What attachment theory is and how it came to beThe role of childhood development in developing an attachment style The four major types of attachment stylesIdentifying your attachment styleHow your attachment style impacts how you interact and relate with othersWhy some attachment styles attract each otherTools needed to change your attachment styleOvercoming jealousy and insecurity in relationshipsOvercoming codependency and improving interdependenceWhat attachment styles exhibit codependent traitsTips for building and maintaining healthy relationshipsAnd a whole lot more!
One-click NOW will change your relationship! You can be anyone you want to be, and all within the confines of a secure, loving, and caring relationship. It’s all about finding a way to deal with your anxious self so there no longer feels like there are three of you in the relationship.
Let’s make the change!
- GenresSelf Help
181 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 24, 2023
111 people are currently reading
146 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
June 27, 2023
Good advanced psychology book to help your own opinion about yourself and others
Though the entire book deals with attachment theory the author has gone ahead and explained how forming close relationships with others and your own opinion of yourself depends on your early attachment.
The attachment theory has been explained in brief where the author has explained that the initial care, love and attention that a child receives from its caregivers determines how a person forms attachment for their entire life.
However this is not permanently wired in your mind and this is changeable And how to do so is what the author addresses in the book.
First the author explains the attachment patterns that a person has. After identification of the attachment, the author has explained that therapy can help a person in changing the way that they form relationships.
In the later chapters the author also explained normal psychology about how over thinking and negative thoughts can also harm a relationship and how practicing conscious mindfulness would prevent it and give the person a happier life. The author has also explained the difference between codependency and inter dependency and how identifying it will lead to a happier relationship.
There are workbooks at the end of every chapter to help people identify their own attachment patterns and thought patterns and how they can change it.
The author has also explained in the end about the book about the articles that he has relied on to write this particular book.
The author has also explained with imaginary and relatable examples about the various types of problems that normal people may have because of their attachment patterns.
Overall a good educational self help psychology book in helping people improve their relationship.
Though the entire book deals with attachment theory the author has gone ahead and explained how forming close relationships with others and your own opinion of yourself depends on your early attachment.
The attachment theory has been explained in brief where the author has explained that the initial care, love and attention that a child receives from its caregivers determines how a person forms attachment for their entire life.
However this is not permanently wired in your mind and this is changeable And how to do so is what the author addresses in the book.
First the author explains the attachment patterns that a person has. After identification of the attachment, the author has explained that therapy can help a person in changing the way that they form relationships.
In the later chapters the author also explained normal psychology about how over thinking and negative thoughts can also harm a relationship and how practicing conscious mindfulness would prevent it and give the person a happier life. The author has also explained the difference between codependency and inter dependency and how identifying it will lead to a happier relationship.
There are workbooks at the end of every chapter to help people identify their own attachment patterns and thought patterns and how they can change it.
The author has also explained in the end about the book about the articles that he has relied on to write this particular book.
The author has also explained with imaginary and relatable examples about the various types of problems that normal people may have because of their attachment patterns.
Overall a good educational self help psychology book in helping people improve their relationship.
February 19, 2024
The advice in this book is clear and simple. It also repeats some information. It comes from a Christian perspective without being heavy handed. (It mostly consists of quotes from the Bible at the start of each chapter.)
There are suggested steps in and at the end of each chapter.
Workbook One
What are the different attachment styles, and which one do you think you have?
1. Take a few minutes to reflect on your relationships with close friends and family members, and consider how you typically respond to them.
2. Are there any negative patterns in your current relationships that you can trace back to childhood experiences? Try to identify the underlying attachment needs that might be driving these patterns.
3. Consider someone in your life who has a different attachment style than you. How does their behavior in relationships differ from your own, and how can you adapt your communication style to better understand and support them?
Workbook Two
1. Which attachment style resonates with you the most, and why? Try to identify a past or current relationship that supports this attachment style.
2. Reflect on a recent disagreement or misunderstanding you had with someone close to you. Did your attachment style play a role in how you responded or reacted? If so, how?
Workbook Three
1. Take a moment to reflect on your attachment style and identify at least one way it has influenced your interactions with others.
2. Think of a past relationship or friendship that didn’t work out. How did your attachment style contribute to the dynamic of the relationship?
3. Identify a positive characteristic of someone with a different attachment style than yours. How can you appreciate and learn from their approach to relationships?
Chapter 4: Fixing Your Attachment Style
How to Change Your Attachment Style - Full Guide
1. Identify your current attachment style
2. Identify your triggers
3. Practice self-compassion
4. Develop a positive self-image
5. Practice healthy communication
6. Seek therapy
(My opinion of therapy gets lower every year with seeing the limited effectiveness in the lives of therapists who write books, and from my own experience. I have read, and also believe that a caring friend is of more benefit than a professional.)
7. Practice healthy attachment behaviors
“There’s hope for transforming your attachment style, and the critical ingredient that might surprise you? Self-compassion. That’s right, showing kindness and understanding to yourself is not just a feel-good practice; it can rewire your brain and transform your attachment patterns.”
“Kind self-talk is one practice that will help you develop self-compassion. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness you offer to your loved ones. The idea of being kind to oneself is not new, and it has been studied in the context of mindfulness-based interventions for many years.”
Workbook Four
1. What are some of the practical steps you can take to transition from an insecure to a secure attachment style?
2. Think about a specific relationship in your life. How might changing your attachment style positively impact that relationship?
(It is interesting that this chapter gave one set of advice regardless of the person’s attachment style.)
Chapter 5: Overcoming Jealousy and Insecurity - Dealing with Anxiety and Avoidance
Workbook Five
1. Which of the specific strategies outlined in this chapter for overcoming jealousy and insecurity in relationships do you think would work best for you?
2. Have you ever experienced anxiety or avoidance in a relationship? How did you handle it, and what could you have done differently with the knowledge from this chapter?
3. Think about a relationship in your life that you would like to improve. How might the tools and exercises in this chapter help you work towards that goal?
Part Three: Further Healthy Practices
Chapter 6: Overcoming Codependency and Improving Interdependence
“However, as time passed, Lila realized she had become enmeshed in Max’s life. She constantly worried about him, trying to fix his problems and sacrificing her needs to meet his. She had become codependent, a pattern of behavior in which someone excessively relies on another person for their emotional or physical well-being.”
The term codependent is often bandied around. This paragraph seems to me to encapsulate a reasonable definition. “She constantly worried about him, trying to fix his problems and sacrificing her needs to meet his.”
Another definition might be: The “healthier” person is more concerned about the problem, than the owner of the problem.
The Webster IOS app puts it this way:
“: a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person manifesting low self-esteem and a strong desire for approval has an unhealthy attachment to another often controlling or manipulative person (such as a person with an addiction to alcohol or drugs)”
“Codependency is a behavioral and emotional pattern that is prevalent in many types of relationships (Meek, 2022). It is characterized by a person’s excessive reliance on others to meet their emotional and physical needs. Codependent individuals often feel a strong need to take care of others, often to the detriment of their own well-being (Gilbert, 2020).”
Chapter 7: Tips for Cultivating Healthy Relationships
“if you find yourself attracting the wrong kind of people into your life, it might be time to take a closer look at your attachment style and see if there are any changes you can make. Here are some tips that can help you attract the right people.”
1. Be yourself
2. Identify your values
3. Pursue your interests
4. Practice positivity “Positive energy is contagious, and cultivating a positive attitude can be a magnet for attracting the right people.”
5. Be open-minded
6. Communicate effectively
7. Set boundaries (The definition of boundaries here seems to be more limited than that found in other works. “Saying No” is the main point about boundaries in this book. Also, setting boundaries is “healthy”, but I don’t see it as attracting the right kind of people. Rather is seems like a strategy to not attract the wrong kind of relationships.)
My wife and I found a similar book, Attachment Theory Workbook for Couples: Exercises to Strengthen and Grow Your Relationship to be more meaningful for us. Your mileage may differ. They were both available as loans from “Kindle Unlimited.”
There are suggested steps in and at the end of each chapter.
Workbook One
What are the different attachment styles, and which one do you think you have?
1. Take a few minutes to reflect on your relationships with close friends and family members, and consider how you typically respond to them.
2. Are there any negative patterns in your current relationships that you can trace back to childhood experiences? Try to identify the underlying attachment needs that might be driving these patterns.
3. Consider someone in your life who has a different attachment style than you. How does their behavior in relationships differ from your own, and how can you adapt your communication style to better understand and support them?
Workbook Two
1. Which attachment style resonates with you the most, and why? Try to identify a past or current relationship that supports this attachment style.
2. Reflect on a recent disagreement or misunderstanding you had with someone close to you. Did your attachment style play a role in how you responded or reacted? If so, how?
Workbook Three
1. Take a moment to reflect on your attachment style and identify at least one way it has influenced your interactions with others.
2. Think of a past relationship or friendship that didn’t work out. How did your attachment style contribute to the dynamic of the relationship?
3. Identify a positive characteristic of someone with a different attachment style than yours. How can you appreciate and learn from their approach to relationships?
Chapter 4: Fixing Your Attachment Style
How to Change Your Attachment Style - Full Guide
1. Identify your current attachment style
2. Identify your triggers
3. Practice self-compassion
4. Develop a positive self-image
5. Practice healthy communication
6. Seek therapy
(My opinion of therapy gets lower every year with seeing the limited effectiveness in the lives of therapists who write books, and from my own experience. I have read, and also believe that a caring friend is of more benefit than a professional.)
7. Practice healthy attachment behaviors
“There’s hope for transforming your attachment style, and the critical ingredient that might surprise you? Self-compassion. That’s right, showing kindness and understanding to yourself is not just a feel-good practice; it can rewire your brain and transform your attachment patterns.”
“Kind self-talk is one practice that will help you develop self-compassion. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness you offer to your loved ones. The idea of being kind to oneself is not new, and it has been studied in the context of mindfulness-based interventions for many years.”
Workbook Four
1. What are some of the practical steps you can take to transition from an insecure to a secure attachment style?
2. Think about a specific relationship in your life. How might changing your attachment style positively impact that relationship?
(It is interesting that this chapter gave one set of advice regardless of the person’s attachment style.)
Chapter 5: Overcoming Jealousy and Insecurity - Dealing with Anxiety and Avoidance
Workbook Five
1. Which of the specific strategies outlined in this chapter for overcoming jealousy and insecurity in relationships do you think would work best for you?
2. Have you ever experienced anxiety or avoidance in a relationship? How did you handle it, and what could you have done differently with the knowledge from this chapter?
3. Think about a relationship in your life that you would like to improve. How might the tools and exercises in this chapter help you work towards that goal?
Part Three: Further Healthy Practices
Chapter 6: Overcoming Codependency and Improving Interdependence
“However, as time passed, Lila realized she had become enmeshed in Max’s life. She constantly worried about him, trying to fix his problems and sacrificing her needs to meet his. She had become codependent, a pattern of behavior in which someone excessively relies on another person for their emotional or physical well-being.”
The term codependent is often bandied around. This paragraph seems to me to encapsulate a reasonable definition. “She constantly worried about him, trying to fix his problems and sacrificing her needs to meet his.”
Another definition might be: The “healthier” person is more concerned about the problem, than the owner of the problem.
The Webster IOS app puts it this way:
“: a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person manifesting low self-esteem and a strong desire for approval has an unhealthy attachment to another often controlling or manipulative person (such as a person with an addiction to alcohol or drugs)”
“Codependency is a behavioral and emotional pattern that is prevalent in many types of relationships (Meek, 2022). It is characterized by a person’s excessive reliance on others to meet their emotional and physical needs. Codependent individuals often feel a strong need to take care of others, often to the detriment of their own well-being (Gilbert, 2020).”
Chapter 7: Tips for Cultivating Healthy Relationships
“if you find yourself attracting the wrong kind of people into your life, it might be time to take a closer look at your attachment style and see if there are any changes you can make. Here are some tips that can help you attract the right people.”
1. Be yourself
2. Identify your values
3. Pursue your interests
4. Practice positivity “Positive energy is contagious, and cultivating a positive attitude can be a magnet for attracting the right people.”
5. Be open-minded
6. Communicate effectively
7. Set boundaries (The definition of boundaries here seems to be more limited than that found in other works. “Saying No” is the main point about boundaries in this book. Also, setting boundaries is “healthy”, but I don’t see it as attracting the right kind of people. Rather is seems like a strategy to not attract the wrong kind of relationships.)
My wife and I found a similar book, Attachment Theory Workbook for Couples: Exercises to Strengthen and Grow Your Relationship to be more meaningful for us. Your mileage may differ. They were both available as loans from “Kindle Unlimited.”
August 7, 2023
The Review
This was a compelling and informative read. The author did an amazing job of crafting a guide and educational book that speaks both to the individual and the couple within a relationship. The fast-paced book and the healing atmosphere the author highlights throughout the book were truly engaging for a reader to behold, and the use of biblical references throughout the book will resonate with religious readers as well.
The things that really stood out to me as a reader were the emphasis on attachment theory and the way this book examined the way to strengthen relationships while also healing the wounds of our past. The way the author was able to break down each type of attachment style and the way the author touches upon things that can go wrong in a relationship, from codependency and jealousy to improving upon our self-esteem and practicing self-compassion made this a truly remarkable read.
The Verdict
Thoughtful, meaningful, and engaging, author Robert J. Charles’s “Fixing Avoidant and Anxious Attachment in Your Relationship” is a must-read nonfiction guide and self-help book on relationships and the path to healing. The emotional and educational value of this book is perfectly presented by the author’s straight-to-the-point yet compassionate writing style, making this one book that could prove essential to any couple’s relationship.
This was a compelling and informative read. The author did an amazing job of crafting a guide and educational book that speaks both to the individual and the couple within a relationship. The fast-paced book and the healing atmosphere the author highlights throughout the book were truly engaging for a reader to behold, and the use of biblical references throughout the book will resonate with religious readers as well.
The things that really stood out to me as a reader were the emphasis on attachment theory and the way this book examined the way to strengthen relationships while also healing the wounds of our past. The way the author was able to break down each type of attachment style and the way the author touches upon things that can go wrong in a relationship, from codependency and jealousy to improving upon our self-esteem and practicing self-compassion made this a truly remarkable read.
The Verdict
Thoughtful, meaningful, and engaging, author Robert J. Charles’s “Fixing Avoidant and Anxious Attachment in Your Relationship” is a must-read nonfiction guide and self-help book on relationships and the path to healing. The emotional and educational value of this book is perfectly presented by the author’s straight-to-the-point yet compassionate writing style, making this one book that could prove essential to any couple’s relationship.
June 29, 2023
A Great Tool
I loved that this book came from a Christian perspective. So many Christians believe their faith should make them "perfect" but then feel like there's something wrong with them because they can't maintain healthy relationships.
This author not only helps the reader understand the problem and it's source, but offers good instruction on overcoming it, including getting counseling.
The four stars are because it seemed to me the author was laying most of the blame on bad parenting. As a homeschool mother of five, I can vouch for parents who do everything right, but have children who deve!op these issues after forced separation from a parent for things like medical treatment. Other causes are autism or even inherent sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies.
I feel the author should have at least touched on points that are out of a parent's control, so as to avoid unnecessary blame in the mind of the reader.
I would, however, recommended it to those struggling with these issues.
I loved that this book came from a Christian perspective. So many Christians believe their faith should make them "perfect" but then feel like there's something wrong with them because they can't maintain healthy relationships.
This author not only helps the reader understand the problem and it's source, but offers good instruction on overcoming it, including getting counseling.
The four stars are because it seemed to me the author was laying most of the blame on bad parenting. As a homeschool mother of five, I can vouch for parents who do everything right, but have children who deve!op these issues after forced separation from a parent for things like medical treatment. Other causes are autism or even inherent sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies.
I feel the author should have at least touched on points that are out of a parent's control, so as to avoid unnecessary blame in the mind of the reader.
I would, however, recommended it to those struggling with these issues.
July 2, 2023
A good overview, well researched, with practical steps.
The author is a pasture, and uses some bible quotes. They are very well selected and still fits in well with the clinical approach and the well presented research. The author holds a PhD and the book is grounded and not preachy. I liked the book and I walked away learning a great deal. The illustrations are fun. The work, the true work, the book suggest you undertake is hard because it a great work of self- healing grounded in reality. This book is a companion book to a book on codependency and another on boundaries. I recommend all three as they dovetail nicely. Recommended for healing if you are willing to do the work in the book and also combine therapy if you have attachment issues.
The author is a pasture, and uses some bible quotes. They are very well selected and still fits in well with the clinical approach and the well presented research. The author holds a PhD and the book is grounded and not preachy. I liked the book and I walked away learning a great deal. The illustrations are fun. The work, the true work, the book suggest you undertake is hard because it a great work of self- healing grounded in reality. This book is a companion book to a book on codependency and another on boundaries. I recommend all three as they dovetail nicely. Recommended for healing if you are willing to do the work in the book and also combine therapy if you have attachment issues.
September 1, 2023
A great overview of attachment styles with good real life examples. I didn’t like the Christian heaviness and a few examples of fixing a relationship problem by praying about it. I think that’s a cop-out too many people use in the place in self-reflection, humility, and mindfulness in changing their behaviors. But faith in the power of positivity and improving our self-esteem are all very tied to developing more secure attachments in all our relationships. It was an easy read and gave me some valuable insights in my personal life.
November 1, 2024
A Guide to Overcoming Avoidance and Anxious Attachment in Relationships
This book helped me understand and address the patterns of avoidance and anxious attachment that were affecting my relationship. The insights and strategies for breaking these habits and building secure, healthy connections were invaluable. I appreciated the practical exercises, which made it easier to apply the concepts in real life. If you’re looking to improve your relationship dynamics and create a stronger bond, this book is a fantastic resource for meaningful change.
This book helped me understand and address the patterns of avoidance and anxious attachment that were affecting my relationship. The insights and strategies for breaking these habits and building secure, healthy connections were invaluable. I appreciated the practical exercises, which made it easier to apply the concepts in real life. If you’re looking to improve your relationship dynamics and create a stronger bond, this book is a fantastic resource for meaningful change.
February 22, 2024
A eye opening tool for my own issues
Just finished this book and it's been an eye-opener. It breaks down attachment theory in a way that's both engaging and super practical. The steps to foster a secure attachment in relationships are clear and totally doable, making it a must-read for anyone looking to deepen their connections. . Really glad I picked this one up ........ it's given me a lot to think about and apply in my own life.
Just finished this book and it's been an eye-opener. It breaks down attachment theory in a way that's both engaging and super practical. The steps to foster a secure attachment in relationships are clear and totally doable, making it a must-read for anyone looking to deepen their connections. . Really glad I picked this one up ........ it's given me a lot to think about and apply in my own life.
August 8, 2023
confusing
In chapter 2 there are 4 attachment styles, these are explained and very understandable. But in chapter 3 there suddenly is about 8 attachment rstyles. I realize that there will be blurry lines between all be all personality traits but give a little introduction to each one please.
In chapter 2 there are 4 attachment styles, these are explained and very understandable. But in chapter 3 there suddenly is about 8 attachment rstyles. I realize that there will be blurry lines between all be all personality traits but give a little introduction to each one please.
December 20, 2023
good info
This book has great information regarding attachment styles. I enjoyed the workbook sections at the end of the chapters. Giving me a chance to ask myself some questions and think to find the answers. I feel like this book was well written. As a side note, if you aren’t a spiritual person, know that this book does mention God several times. Overall I liked the book.
This book has great information regarding attachment styles. I enjoyed the workbook sections at the end of the chapters. Giving me a chance to ask myself some questions and think to find the answers. I feel like this book was well written. As a side note, if you aren’t a spiritual person, know that this book does mention God several times. Overall I liked the book.
April 22, 2024
highly recommended
Exploration into the intricate dynamics of avoidant and anxious attachment styles and their profound impact on relationships. Offering readers a comprehensive understanding of attachment theory and its practical implications. I loved this book.
Exploration into the intricate dynamics of avoidant and anxious attachment styles and their profound impact on relationships. Offering readers a comprehensive understanding of attachment theory and its practical implications. I loved this book.
July 3, 2025
Some things helpful, others not
This text is written simply, which can be helpful but read as patronizing to me. Lots of annoying religious language and toxic positivity. Unhelpful examples, but some helpful tips. Could have used more helpful tips.
This text is written simply, which can be helpful but read as patronizing to me. Lots of annoying religious language and toxic positivity. Unhelpful examples, but some helpful tips. Could have used more helpful tips.
March 26, 2024
Didn’t care for all the religious references but overall was very helpful and informative. Gives one much to reflect on and absorb.
Read
March 18, 2025Very repetitive
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews