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Confessions of a Virgin Sacrifice
Sound the alarm! Saddle the horses! Wake up the village elders! The Sacrificial Virgin has escaped!
Jezebelle's voluptuous cousin Dizeray is slated for a sacrificial swan dive into the local volcano. Not if Jez can help it! She plots to rescue her cousin and find an eager candidate to 'disqualify' Diz from being this year's Virgin Sacrifice. But things to horribly wrong and now the gals are on the run with the furious Village Elders in hot pursuit!
Jez sweeps her cousin on a whirlwind adventure through the jungle and beyond with nothing but her sardonic wit and bronze brassiere at her disposal. Along the way the two Glamazons attract a motley cast of characters including a brooding barbarian with a decidedly un-heroic phobia, an ill-tempered troll looking for love, and a deadly blue wolf with a soft spot for Jezebelle.
This unlikely troupe stumbles head first into one wacky adventure after another, encountering love, magic, monsters and mayhem. Throughout their travels, Jez untangles clues to her True Destiny. She discovers a Forbidden Secret that threatens to unravel the very fabric of her word--or at least ruin her day.
This saucy off-beat romp will keep you laughing as you follow Jez and her friends on their first adventure.
Jezebelle's voluptuous cousin Dizeray is slated for a sacrificial swan dive into the local volcano. Not if Jez can help it! She plots to rescue her cousin and find an eager candidate to 'disqualify' Diz from being this year's Virgin Sacrifice. But things to horribly wrong and now the gals are on the run with the furious Village Elders in hot pursuit!
Jez sweeps her cousin on a whirlwind adventure through the jungle and beyond with nothing but her sardonic wit and bronze brassiere at her disposal. Along the way the two Glamazons attract a motley cast of characters including a brooding barbarian with a decidedly un-heroic phobia, an ill-tempered troll looking for love, and a deadly blue wolf with a soft spot for Jezebelle.
This unlikely troupe stumbles head first into one wacky adventure after another, encountering love, magic, monsters and mayhem. Throughout their travels, Jez untangles clues to her True Destiny. She discovers a Forbidden Secret that threatens to unravel the very fabric of her word--or at least ruin her day.
This saucy off-beat romp will keep you laughing as you follow Jez and her friends on their first adventure.
192 pages, Paperback
First published April 30, 2006
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34 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
August 18, 2019
A hilarious read with a great cast of characters. Pokes fun at a lot of very tired and sexist fantasy cliches and also some real-life attitudes as well. I thought there was a good balance between the humor and the story line and character development. You weren't just being bombarded with jokes and references in every sentence but the humor was definitely still at the forefront of the story. Would definitely recommend to anyone who likes a good satire.
July 26, 2011
Book Synopsis
Sound the alarm! Saddle the horses! Wake up the village elders! The Sacrificial Virgin has escaped!
Jezebelle's voluptuous cousin Dizeray is slated for a sacrificial swan dive into the local volcano. Not if Jez can help it! She plots to rescue her cousin and find an eager candidate to 'disqualify' Diz from being this year's Virgin Sacrifice. But things to horribly wrong and now the gals are on the run with the furious Village Elders in hot pursuit!
Jez sweeps her cousin on a whirlwind adventure through the jungle and beyond with nothing but her sardonic wit and bronze brassiere at her disposal. Along the way the two Glamazons attract a motley cast of characters including a brooding barbarian with a decidedly un-heroic phobia, an ill-tempered troll looking for love, and a deadly blue wolf with a soft spot for Jezebelle.
This unlikely troupe stumbles head first into one wacky adventure after another, encountering love, magic, monsters and mayhem. Throughout their travels, Jez untangles clues to her True Destiny. She discovers a Forbidden Secret that threatens to unravel the very fabric of her word—or at least ruin her day.
This saucy off-beat romp will keep you laughing as you follow Jez and her friends on their first adventure.
My Thoughts
My copy is a Kindle gift to me from the author and after laughing my way through the pages had to share my thoughts on this very cute short story...
First off the names of the characters are tongue-in-cheek and fit the male and female characters personalities to a T! Lead female is Jezebelle and oh boy does she live up to her name, the little hussy!
I loved the cast of characters that the author led on a merry chase from page to page, in the beginning of course there is only two. Jezebelle and her cousin Dizeray, the escaping sacrificial virgin who would have just thrown herself into the volcano if it were not for Jez talking her out of it and taking her on the adventure of a lifetime as a result...
This story is a sarcastic look at some serious subjects that is in no way mean spirited or hurtful to anyone. It allows us to examine some ideas in a way that puts them into true perspective while at the same time laughing at their absurdity. I applaud the author, not only did she entertain me but she also made me rethink my own flawed ideas on a few things as well.
Filled with bawdy humor, over the top antics and most of all sheer unadulterated fun this is a story that will have you rolling on the floor and hoping for more to come when it ends! From the old style cheesy cover to the off the wall character of Jezebelle this one put Fantasy on it's ear, but in a good way!
I have to disclose that this book was a Kindle digital copy submitted to me by the author with no other expectations than for an honest review and that there is no other compensation from her or the publisher except for the book copy and my reading pleasure and enjoyment of the characters depicted in the story.
February 22, 2012
Confessions of a Virgin Sacrifice by Adrianne Ambrose
4 out of 5
A virgin is sacrificed once a year to a Volcano God who demands it. This is what happens when women do not sit around waiting to be sacrificed.
Plot: It is hard to explain what the plot of this novel is about without giving too much away. Extremely fast-paced and a very quick read by the time you apprehend one thing there is a new one. This does not make it a bad thing but it does make for a plot that is constantly fluid.
Characters: Point-of-view character Jezebelle proves, often, to be the smartest character in the novel. Which is actually rather scary considering she has her own dense moments where she should have stopped to consider things. However, her companions in travel, Dizeray, the actual virgin sacrifice, and Thor, a barbarian that Jez admits has a stupid name, seem to be that much… stupider. It is frustrating to a point, but entertaining to watch the group bumble their way through the plot. They are joined by a troll, Lestor, and Thor’s brother, Tul. Lestor has the most personality out of the group and might be verging on the next smartest, which is scary considering he is an idiot as well.
Why did I enjoy a novel filled with so many idiots? It was a well told mess of bumbling circumstances. It reminded me of an episode of a sitcom where everything just keeps going wrong as they try to make it to their destination. Jez and Diz keep stumbling their way along, not really sure where they are going or why, and enjoying the fight. They are joined later by a wolf named Puddin’ who I kept hoping would do more.
This is not a plot to take seriously. It is easily torn apart and questioned if you really wanted to think about it, but that is not the purpose of this novel. This novel is to entertain and allow the non-virginal women to embrace something new. We all have days where we feel like Jez, Jez is just unabashedly brazen about her attitude. When you come to the ending you realize this ending is so very much the character. What could you have expected?
4 reason to enjoy this novel:
4. Fast paced, easy read
3. Humor that pokes fun at the fantasy genre
2. Strong female heroine that does not want to be
1. Does not attempt to take itself seriously
4 reasons to stay way from this novel:
4. Plot could become incoherent if deliberately picked at
3. Definitely a book for women
2. No real descriptions for the sex scenes
1. Does not attempt to take itself seriously
4 out of 5
A virgin is sacrificed once a year to a Volcano God who demands it. This is what happens when women do not sit around waiting to be sacrificed.
Plot: It is hard to explain what the plot of this novel is about without giving too much away. Extremely fast-paced and a very quick read by the time you apprehend one thing there is a new one. This does not make it a bad thing but it does make for a plot that is constantly fluid.
Characters: Point-of-view character Jezebelle proves, often, to be the smartest character in the novel. Which is actually rather scary considering she has her own dense moments where she should have stopped to consider things. However, her companions in travel, Dizeray, the actual virgin sacrifice, and Thor, a barbarian that Jez admits has a stupid name, seem to be that much… stupider. It is frustrating to a point, but entertaining to watch the group bumble their way through the plot. They are joined by a troll, Lestor, and Thor’s brother, Tul. Lestor has the most personality out of the group and might be verging on the next smartest, which is scary considering he is an idiot as well.
Why did I enjoy a novel filled with so many idiots? It was a well told mess of bumbling circumstances. It reminded me of an episode of a sitcom where everything just keeps going wrong as they try to make it to their destination. Jez and Diz keep stumbling their way along, not really sure where they are going or why, and enjoying the fight. They are joined later by a wolf named Puddin’ who I kept hoping would do more.
This is not a plot to take seriously. It is easily torn apart and questioned if you really wanted to think about it, but that is not the purpose of this novel. This novel is to entertain and allow the non-virginal women to embrace something new. We all have days where we feel like Jez, Jez is just unabashedly brazen about her attitude. When you come to the ending you realize this ending is so very much the character. What could you have expected?
4 reason to enjoy this novel:
4. Fast paced, easy read
3. Humor that pokes fun at the fantasy genre
2. Strong female heroine that does not want to be
1. Does not attempt to take itself seriously
4 reasons to stay way from this novel:
4. Plot could become incoherent if deliberately picked at
3. Definitely a book for women
2. No real descriptions for the sex scenes
1. Does not attempt to take itself seriously
October 6, 2009
Laugh out loud funny this book was endlessly entertaining. Adrianne Ambrose took a genre I couldn't care less about and made me love it by skewering it in her post feminist take. Clever, charming and fun. I want a sequel, no a series of books written by Ambrose.
December 28, 2011
This is a really fun book! The characters are lively and Jezebel is a real kick in the pants.
The adventure that escaping a virgin sacrifice sends Jezebel and her cousin Dizeray on is fraught with danger and hunky barbarians. What could be better?
I hope there will be a sequel.
The adventure that escaping a virgin sacrifice sends Jezebel and her cousin Dizeray on is fraught with danger and hunky barbarians. What could be better?
I hope there will be a sequel.
May 3, 2015
"I don't believe in virgin sacrifice. It encourages promiscuity at an early age." How's that for a first line? Great right? Or how about this one a few pages later? "Besides, she had large breasts, a trait frequently mistaken for beauty." Yep, that one got a laugh out of me too. Confessions of a Virgin Sacrifice is not a book to be taken seriously. It is a rip-roaring good time, but utterly and completely absurd. The main character, Jezebelle, is a paragon of dauntless sarcasm, but her wit often highlights urbane truths. It's a hoot. I lost track of how many passages I highlighted just because they were so funny.
Be that as it may, she wasn't my favourite aspect of the book. That would be Thor and Tul's bemused side comments. I could easily imagine the bewildered look on their faces as they tried to figure out the actions of others. Priceless.
I was thrown off on occasion by modern references. There I was reading along and visualising the characters as Conan the Barbarian or Red Sonia types, maybe even Beast Master and then the author would throw in a Mason jar or a frilly lacy pillow. What!? I couldn't quite reconcile their presence in the narrative.
The book is quite short and ends on a cliffhanger, though I don't know if another is planned. I almost hope one isn't. I really enjoyed this book. It works, but I could see the joke getting old if drug out for too long. I'd hate to see that happen. It's a gem just as it is. If you're looking for a laugh give this one a try. That awesome parody on the cover ought to give you an idea of what you'd be in for.
Be that as it may, she wasn't my favourite aspect of the book. That would be Thor and Tul's bemused side comments. I could easily imagine the bewildered look on their faces as they tried to figure out the actions of others. Priceless.
I was thrown off on occasion by modern references. There I was reading along and visualising the characters as Conan the Barbarian or Red Sonia types, maybe even Beast Master and then the author would throw in a Mason jar or a frilly lacy pillow. What!? I couldn't quite reconcile their presence in the narrative.
The book is quite short and ends on a cliffhanger, though I don't know if another is planned. I almost hope one isn't. I really enjoyed this book. It works, but I could see the joke getting old if drug out for too long. I'd hate to see that happen. It's a gem just as it is. If you're looking for a laugh give this one a try. That awesome parody on the cover ought to give you an idea of what you'd be in for.
January 11, 2013
This book has so many good one-liners that it's hard not to quote them to a friend. The opening line alone, "I don't believe in virgin sacrifice, it encourages promiscuity," made me chuckle so I had to read the book. Delightful.
January 2, 2015
The book started out good and with a chuckle here and there but
towards the ending it wasn't what I expected. 2nd book? Don't know whether I would
read it or not. Sorry to the author.
towards the ending it wasn't what I expected. 2nd book? Don't know whether I would
read it or not. Sorry to the author.
February 1, 2016
It was okay. The ending left me a bit confused though...
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews