Where to start...?.......Hmm.....Okay, first of all, I´d like to say that I received a copy of JP Kansas´s * Andrea At The Center* in exchange for an honest review.
Andrea At The Center by JP Kansas was a tough read. And to be honest, I struggled through the complete book. And if I should discribe this book with a few words...I´d say: " WAY TO MUCH SEX". Of course, I love to read about sex ( I wouldn´t be normal if that weren´t the case). But I also love to read about a character, and to know about his or her thoughts in equal proportions.
This story had so much kinky fuckery to offer that I felt a bit overwhelmed and was not in the mood to read about sex ANYMORE after I finished this never-ending story. I tried really hard to find a story OR a meaning in this book ( really.....I did my best!!) but all the sex didn´t allow me to see anything.
If you are into the kinky scene, you´ll probably have a blast with this book. Or maybe not ( due to the confusing writing style). But I can say what I got out of it all. Most books have a theme, or a specific subject and that sticks ´til the bitter end.
For example:
50 Shades: it had a story, kinky fuckery, and romance = a good story
Captive In The Dark : it had an awesome story, double hard kinky fuckery, and some actual romance = a hell of a good book
( the list could go on and on....but you see my point, right?)
THIS BOOK had a shit load of sex, and so much more! sex! I am not kidding. Andrea In The Center has:
- F / F ( much appreciated by the main character)
- M / F ( much appreciated by the main character)
- Gangbangs ( much appreciated by the main character)
- foot fetish ( odd but much appreciated by the main character)
- fucking the boss ( much appreciated by the main character)
- fucking the photographer ( much aprreciated by the main character)
- fucking the doctor ( gap filling sex and yet much appreciated by the main character)
- fucking fellow patients ( just in the mood and very much appreciated by the main character)
- screwing a priest ( seriously? * shaking head....*)
- prostitution ( hmm......not surprised but it was less appreciated by the main character, because it was seen as punishment....Boo-hoo!)
- BDSM ( yawn---)
- OH!! fucking the owner of the facility!!! ( how could I have forgotten that? * scratch head* )..... ( victory fuck for the main character)
- and a whole lot more pussy eating ( it seemed like all were playing musical chairs.....and the main character never let out an oppurtunity to get a good wash below the belt area. * sheesh...*
- etc....
Let´s not forget to mention almost every character masterbated in almost every scene! Some characters got paid to look through normal magazines and then they just got horny and started rubbing the crap out of themselves. Is it even possible to WANT to rub yourself sore? And women on their periods....hmm....NO PROLEMO! Just ditch the cotton plug and start moaning! I was surprised they didn´t hang the used tampons on their ears and found that worth masterbating!! I was reading a porn! Now, don´t any of you start telling me " Oh, all women read porn!".....yes, I know that myself...no need to remind me. I also enjoy every second reading about hot, steaming, mind blowing sex, but when I was reading this book.....I felt utterly exhausted after the 5th sex scene! I was constantly thinking about how the hell can someone stand after 50+ orgasms! Surely, a horse couldn´t even move anymore after having an orgasm every 2 minutes....
I could go on....but I´d never find an end!!
So, let´s begin with the story, shall we?
One nice day, Andrea gets kidnapped and is brought to some place called " The Center". The Center is a place of it´s own and is hidden from the real world. Andrea gets told that no one will ever harm her of keep her forever at the Center. She is free to leave once she finds her true self ( * stomping foot * I AM STILL WONDERING WHO THE HELL ANDREA REALLY IS!!!!! Damn it! ). Anyways....once Andrea is left by herself, the first thing she decides to do after being kidnapped is take a shower!!! No one in their right mind takes a fucking shower after an attack!!!!! Once Andrea gets out and enters her new room, she see´s Emmy, her new big sister ( God, PLEASE!!! ) and both exchange a few words and begin to lick each other. Once that was done, Andrea is brought to the next room where she gets pictures taken from her BEAUTIFUL body ( and starts to orgasm!!!!!!!!!!!)...then she goes to the next room, then the next, and then the other room...etc. Each and every room has something special tucked inside where Andrea can shamelessly orgasm her soul away! There was never a chance for Andrea to explore the Center without having a Hiroshima orgasm!
Everywhere Andrea went....people were willing to have sex with her. Even the damn guy who worked at a shoe store.....Dear baby Jesus.....the minute he touched her foot, it was like: " you have beautiful feet....can I fuck your feet?" * pulling my hair out of pure frustration!!*
After Andrea went through every sex stage on can ever imagine....she was finally free to leave. And that was the moment where I sat in my livingroom and had no idea what to say or even think.
When did Andrea find her " true self"? Beats me!
The other characters were dull and didn´t have their own voice. And not to forget the dialogue. How am I supposed to enjoy a book ( because the minute I realized the fact that this was just pure sex, I accepted it and thought I´d at least read a well written porn) when two characters are at it, and one keeps doing the " ssshuuuush, it´s okay" thing during sex? First: NO ONE SHUSHES during sex! Must be that bad when someone has to repeat that during the whole act even though it´s supposed to be THE U.L.T.I.M.A.T.E sexperience!!! TOTAL turn-off.
So, let´s do a small recap on the story.
- there wasn´t a story.
In my opinion...the author had more than enough chances to develope a great story with her ideas. But she decided to kill any idea with lots of licking, and fucking.
The writing style wasn´t that spectacular either. I was confused and hardly had a chance to get used to a situation or even a character that was interesting enough.
Usually, a story has a meaning. Or a message for readers. Or a story could be plainly entertaining. It was far from entertaining. There was no meaning. But I think the message was:
"If you haven´t found your place in life yet, or even if you still don´t have a God forsaken clue as to who you really are.....then go to a swinger club for a solid month and THEN you will have your answer!"
All of this screamed to go out and fuck around....or masterbate at least 30 times a day even if you don´t feel like it.
I am exhausted.
The Divas are giving Andrea At The Center by JP Kansas 1 out of 5 champagne glasses.