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I Don't Know: In Praise of Admitting Ignorance
Librarian's note: There is an Advance Reader Copy for this edition of this book here.
A short, concise book in favor of honoring doubt and admitting when the answer is: I don’t know.
In a tight, enlightening narrative, Leah Hager Cohen explores why, so often, we attempt to hide our ignorance, and why, in so many different areas, we would be better off coming clean. Weaving entertaining, anecdotal reporting with eye-opening research, she considers both the ramifications of and alternatives to this ubiquitous habit in arenas as varied as education, finance, medicine, politics, warfare, trial courts, and climate change. But it’s more than just encouraging readers to confess their ignorance—Cohen proposes that we have much to gain by embracing uncertainty. Three little words can in fact liberate and empower, and increase the possibilities for true communication. So much becomes possible when we honor doubt.
A short, concise book in favor of honoring doubt and admitting when the answer is: I don’t know.
In a tight, enlightening narrative, Leah Hager Cohen explores why, so often, we attempt to hide our ignorance, and why, in so many different areas, we would be better off coming clean. Weaving entertaining, anecdotal reporting with eye-opening research, she considers both the ramifications of and alternatives to this ubiquitous habit in arenas as varied as education, finance, medicine, politics, warfare, trial courts, and climate change. But it’s more than just encouraging readers to confess their ignorance—Cohen proposes that we have much to gain by embracing uncertainty. Three little words can in fact liberate and empower, and increase the possibilities for true communication. So much becomes possible when we honor doubt.
128 pages, Hardcover
First published September 12, 2013
20 people are currently reading
1048 people want to read
About the author
Leah Hager Cohen
24 books181 followersLeah Hager Cohen has written four non-fiction books, including Train Go Sorry and Glass, Paper, Beans, and four novels, including House Lights and The Grief of Others.
She serves as the Jenks Chair in Contemporary American Letters at the College of the Holy Cross, and teaches in the Low-Residency MFA Program in Creative Writing at Lesley University. She is a frequent contributor to the New York Times Book Review.
She serves as the Jenks Chair in Contemporary American Letters at the College of the Holy Cross, and teaches in the Low-Residency MFA Program in Creative Writing at Lesley University. She is a frequent contributor to the New York Times Book Review.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews
July 19, 2019
What a lovely little (114 pages!) book. Cohen is an open-hearted, poetic, disciplined writer, blending research, anecdotes and her own musings so seamlessly.
I want to live in a world that makes it easier to say “I don’t know.”
I want to live in a world that makes it easier to say “I don’t know.”
March 12, 2016
I don't ever say I don't know. Maybe it's part of being a librarian or maybe it's my supercilious personality, but I just don't say I don't know.
I'm stopping. From now on, I will bravely admit my ignorance. I will try.
This tiny little book, a long essay really, has inspired me. Just do it. Say it. Here goes. I. Don't. Know.
There. That feels better already.
So let me start this review over…
I don’t know what to say about I Don’t Know….
How does that sound? More honest, anyway.
I'm stopping. From now on, I will bravely admit my ignorance. I will try.
This tiny little book, a long essay really, has inspired me. Just do it. Say it. Here goes. I. Don't. Know.
There. That feels better already.
So let me start this review over…
I don’t know what to say about I Don’t Know….
How does that sound? More honest, anyway.
March 20, 2017
Ah, yes, the problems we create for ourselves simply by not saying three little words ...
I. Don't. Know.
I loved this little book ... especially the part where the chief of obstetrics asked the new intern if she'd ever done a tubal ligation, she said, "Yes", when in fact, she had only watched it done ... ONCE!
The chief handed her the scalpel ... then, later ... they both went and LIED to the patient about
Tough Circumstances. It reminded me of my many hospitalizations and how something BAD happened Every Single Time. At least now I know that it's not just me!
I. Don't. Know.
I loved this little book ... especially the part where the chief of obstetrics asked the new intern if she'd ever done a tubal ligation, she said, "Yes", when in fact, she had only watched it done ... ONCE!
The chief handed her the scalpel ... then, later ... they both went and LIED to the patient about
Tough Circumstances. It reminded me of my many hospitalizations and how something BAD happened Every Single Time. At least now I know that it's not just me!
April 24, 2018
Excellent book on the importance of admitting ignorance. This should be required reading before being allowed to open a social media account.
April 17, 2022
“Fundamentalism of any kind is the refusal to allow doubt. The opposite of fundamentalism is the willingness to say 'I don’t know.'”
September 4, 2022
An interesting, short meditation on the positives and power of saying, "I don't know". But in the end, I felt it was stretched out a bit too much to allow it to be called/sold as a book.
December 26, 2013
I bought this book about the same time as I started getting used to my kindle. And the story of how I found this book reminds us of what we're losing in an increasingly electronic age. Last weekend, I was in the Barnes & Noble looking for a particular book to give a friend for Christmas and chanced on this book and another on one of the display tables.
I picked up the book after first seeing it, then set it down, but the title kept coming back to me, given that I had once written an essay in college about the importance of acknowledging when we don't have a position on an important issue; we should not hesitate from saying, "I don't know." And I do appreciate the author's exploration of this premise, how she notes that sometimes we fear admitting our own ignorance lest we cut ourselves off from our (presumably) more knowledgeable peers. Feigned knowledge as a means to ensure belonging.
I went back to the table, picked up the book and bought it.
And there is some really great writing in this book, particularly when she explores that topic, but she doesn't seem to delve more deeply than to make some smart observations. Towards the end she wanders about with numerous anecdotes, few of which seem related to her topic.
That said, the book did get me thinking and I found myself frequently writing in the margins, sometimes to agree with her, other times to argue with her. She makes an important point reminding us that we should not be afraid to acknowledge our ignorance about one topic or another. But, it seems a topic better suited for an essay than a book.
But, then, it she had just written an essay, I would not have discovered this book on a table at a bookstore.
I picked up the book after first seeing it, then set it down, but the title kept coming back to me, given that I had once written an essay in college about the importance of acknowledging when we don't have a position on an important issue; we should not hesitate from saying, "I don't know." And I do appreciate the author's exploration of this premise, how she notes that sometimes we fear admitting our own ignorance lest we cut ourselves off from our (presumably) more knowledgeable peers. Feigned knowledge as a means to ensure belonging.
I went back to the table, picked up the book and bought it.
And there is some really great writing in this book, particularly when she explores that topic, but she doesn't seem to delve more deeply than to make some smart observations. Towards the end she wanders about with numerous anecdotes, few of which seem related to her topic.
That said, the book did get me thinking and I found myself frequently writing in the margins, sometimes to agree with her, other times to argue with her. She makes an important point reminding us that we should not be afraid to acknowledge our ignorance about one topic or another. But, it seems a topic better suited for an essay than a book.
But, then, it she had just written an essay, I would not have discovered this book on a table at a bookstore.
January 2, 2015
I like Leah Hager Cohen's writing--I've read "Train Go Sorry" and some magazine pieces--so I was happy to get this ARC in the mail. Basically this book is about how, sometimes, fear keeps us from admitting that we don't know some things, and also keeps us from expressing things we do know, and both of these tendencies close us off to possibility and prevent genuine connections with others. We are then, as she paraphrases, "at the mercy of our notions." I certainly agree with the premise, and the writing is inviting and persuasive, but this felt a bit unfocused for such a short book. It's worth reading, but I recommend approaching it as an essay rather than as a full-fledged book.
I received this ARC via Shelf Awareness, in case anyone is wondering. There was no expectation of any kind of review whatsoever.
I received this ARC via Shelf Awareness, in case anyone is wondering. There was no expectation of any kind of review whatsoever.
January 30, 2014
I picked up "I Don't Know: In Praise of Admitting Ignorance (Except When You Shouldn't)" and wondered how the author could write about such a small subject for nearly 100 pages. I mean, yes, she could write about myth, anthropology, and psychological experiments, but would that fill a book? Maybe, but Cohen only touches on these and instead writes extensively about her friends' experiences and every liberal political subject available. Sexism? Check. Racism? Of course. Climate change, gay marriage, Palestinian's rights, degrading conservatives, praising Obama? It's all here. What does any of that have to do learning to say, "I don't know"? Honestly, I don't know. This could have been a great subject to explore. I'm not sure why Cohen didn't. Not recommended.
September 24, 2013
In a culture that seems to be more and more in search of a sense of certainty and definitive, black-and-white answers, Leah Hager Cohen’s I don't know: In Praise of Admitting Ignorance (Except When You Shouldn't) bravely presents another perspective. It’s a difficult work to describe. It makes use of existing research, but isn’t particularly scholarly; it’s an extremely long essay, but a pretty short book; it’s a quick read, but a sticky one, simple in appearance but deeply thought-provoking. It has the potential to open minds and discussions, and it deserves to find an audience open to both.
MORE: http://www.3rsblog.com/2013/09/book-t...
MORE: http://www.3rsblog.com/2013/09/book-t...
August 26, 2014
What I expected from this brief book, was a discussion on the advantages of being truthful, admitting errors, admitting ignorance, even when afraid of being viewed as a fool. My dad always said, the only really smart person is that person who knows there is still a lot to learn. Being able to admit you don’t know something, is the only way to learn something. I did not expect it to be this diatribe against the GOP and a cheerleading exercise for what the author seems to consider the more “emotional and compassionate” progressive point of view.
What I got out of this book is not earth shattering, but there were some interesting points. I agree with Cohen about children being more open and unafraid to ask questions about what they don’t know and are taught to be less forthcoming. She cites examples of fairy tales that children have identified with for generations, stories that glorify lies for personal gain. I believe that the same holds true for laughter. When young, the laugh comes from deep within the child, unabashed pleasure is expressed, but then, an adult tells them, shh, don’t be so loud, and they learn that it is more acceptable to laugh quietly, to hold back how they really feel for fear of ridicule.
Fear is the motivator for lying, fear of being found wanting. It is more egregious in academia and the workplace where judgment has higher stakes. I agree that we should not use lies or cheating to escape shame. A desire to escape the shame of not knowing can limit our possibilities. The fear of asking questions or admitting ignorance is based on hubris. We do not like to reveal, or are afraid to reveal our weaknesses and sometimes hide behind our own lack of confidence and do not admit the truth. Often this lapse of memory, this “lie of omission”, can have unexpected negative consequences.
In actuality, most of the people I have known who have been deceptive and prejudiced in one way or another were not conservatives as the author implies. They were people who believed they were entitled to stretch the rules a bit, for their own benefit, using rent controlled apartments meant for the poor, fudging on their tax returns while expecting others to pay full freight, avoiding responsibility in their teaching positions by having someone else clock them in and not arriving on time, arranging for cushy assignments, using sabbaticals to take courses for their own pleasure, like cooking and then stealing the pots purchased for the course in France, for their own use. So does that mean that most liberals are dishonest? Absolutely not! These are anecdotal experiences, not references from scientific studies. Much of this author’s anecdotal references are neither representative of the “right” side of politics nor of scientific studies.
Cohen writes about climate change theories, airline pilot decisions, police reactions to criminals, their use of excessive force, teachers who are sexist, teachers who don’t listen and stifle young minds, adults who sexually abuse young innocents, the tea party, marriage rights, racism, the Holocaust, the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, and any other liberal point of view that she wished to promote, but she did not present evenhanded opinions.
More specifically, she praises Obama and criticizes Bush, she praises Obama’s family values but does not quote Bush’s family interactions which are well known in a very positive way, she criticizes Israel but does not mention Palestinian behavior, she criticizes the police but makes no mention of criminal disrespect for the system, she praises those who brought up climate change, and criticizes those who would not enter the fray and offer alternate theories, but she does not really discuss the fact that climate change theory has been debunked, of late, she discusses racism but does not explain that often there is behavior that creates the “racist” fear she notes. I was innocent in wanting to read this book, I was looking for answers to societal failures, but I found that the author had an agenda, and it was very liberal. While the facts presented were often accurate, they were presented in a completely one-sided, slanted way to promote her very progressive views; she seemed to have an agenda.
She expressed the idea that listening is the key to really understanding someone else and the key to being able to be truthful; She believes that to be able to listen and really hear what others are saying, allows you to admit when you don’t know something, but I think that she, too, needs to listen more carefully to other points of view, without condemnation as her knee jerk reaction. At times I felt she stressed emotion over intellect, passion over facts, which contradicted her argument against lying and for listening. To her, listening meant agreeing with her very liberal points of view, which she presumes are the right points of view, which in and of itself, warns the readers not to do anything but nod to her, since telling her the truth, if they disagreed, would mark them as “conservatives”!
Cohen offered no concrete suggestions about how to fix the problem, all she offered was a finger, pointing blame towards those whose politics she disagreed with, and the book ended inconclusively. It seemed to end when she arbitrarily decided to stop writing, or when she ran out of anecdotes. From such an accomplished writer, I was taken aback. The author has used this platform to promote her leftist, liberal agenda, to compliment progressives and pretty much demonize those on the right. I thought the book would offer ideas about how to escape from “this abyss of estrangement” that she refers to, but instead it was a primer on progressive ideas and her personal politics.
What I got out of this book is not earth shattering, but there were some interesting points. I agree with Cohen about children being more open and unafraid to ask questions about what they don’t know and are taught to be less forthcoming. She cites examples of fairy tales that children have identified with for generations, stories that glorify lies for personal gain. I believe that the same holds true for laughter. When young, the laugh comes from deep within the child, unabashed pleasure is expressed, but then, an adult tells them, shh, don’t be so loud, and they learn that it is more acceptable to laugh quietly, to hold back how they really feel for fear of ridicule.
Fear is the motivator for lying, fear of being found wanting. It is more egregious in academia and the workplace where judgment has higher stakes. I agree that we should not use lies or cheating to escape shame. A desire to escape the shame of not knowing can limit our possibilities. The fear of asking questions or admitting ignorance is based on hubris. We do not like to reveal, or are afraid to reveal our weaknesses and sometimes hide behind our own lack of confidence and do not admit the truth. Often this lapse of memory, this “lie of omission”, can have unexpected negative consequences.
In actuality, most of the people I have known who have been deceptive and prejudiced in one way or another were not conservatives as the author implies. They were people who believed they were entitled to stretch the rules a bit, for their own benefit, using rent controlled apartments meant for the poor, fudging on their tax returns while expecting others to pay full freight, avoiding responsibility in their teaching positions by having someone else clock them in and not arriving on time, arranging for cushy assignments, using sabbaticals to take courses for their own pleasure, like cooking and then stealing the pots purchased for the course in France, for their own use. So does that mean that most liberals are dishonest? Absolutely not! These are anecdotal experiences, not references from scientific studies. Much of this author’s anecdotal references are neither representative of the “right” side of politics nor of scientific studies.
Cohen writes about climate change theories, airline pilot decisions, police reactions to criminals, their use of excessive force, teachers who are sexist, teachers who don’t listen and stifle young minds, adults who sexually abuse young innocents, the tea party, marriage rights, racism, the Holocaust, the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, and any other liberal point of view that she wished to promote, but she did not present evenhanded opinions.
More specifically, she praises Obama and criticizes Bush, she praises Obama’s family values but does not quote Bush’s family interactions which are well known in a very positive way, she criticizes Israel but does not mention Palestinian behavior, she criticizes the police but makes no mention of criminal disrespect for the system, she praises those who brought up climate change, and criticizes those who would not enter the fray and offer alternate theories, but she does not really discuss the fact that climate change theory has been debunked, of late, she discusses racism but does not explain that often there is behavior that creates the “racist” fear she notes. I was innocent in wanting to read this book, I was looking for answers to societal failures, but I found that the author had an agenda, and it was very liberal. While the facts presented were often accurate, they were presented in a completely one-sided, slanted way to promote her very progressive views; she seemed to have an agenda.
She expressed the idea that listening is the key to really understanding someone else and the key to being able to be truthful; She believes that to be able to listen and really hear what others are saying, allows you to admit when you don’t know something, but I think that she, too, needs to listen more carefully to other points of view, without condemnation as her knee jerk reaction. At times I felt she stressed emotion over intellect, passion over facts, which contradicted her argument against lying and for listening. To her, listening meant agreeing with her very liberal points of view, which she presumes are the right points of view, which in and of itself, warns the readers not to do anything but nod to her, since telling her the truth, if they disagreed, would mark them as “conservatives”!
Cohen offered no concrete suggestions about how to fix the problem, all she offered was a finger, pointing blame towards those whose politics she disagreed with, and the book ended inconclusively. It seemed to end when she arbitrarily decided to stop writing, or when she ran out of anecdotes. From such an accomplished writer, I was taken aback. The author has used this platform to promote her leftist, liberal agenda, to compliment progressives and pretty much demonize those on the right. I thought the book would offer ideas about how to escape from “this abyss of estrangement” that she refers to, but instead it was a primer on progressive ideas and her personal politics.
November 26, 2017
Meaningful content here but but it’s not the win it could have been. In the conclusion we get a good look at the writer’s skill and passion leaving me with the feeling of, “where was this in the rest of the book?”
In a surprising way I found more connection to the book in the parts where the writer spoke from her personal experience than when she drew on other people’s intense/traumatic experiences.
Not a bad book to use if you’re going through a period of reflection and want to examine your presumptions and fear of not knowing.
In a surprising way I found more connection to the book in the parts where the writer spoke from her personal experience than when she drew on other people’s intense/traumatic experiences.
Not a bad book to use if you’re going through a period of reflection and want to examine your presumptions and fear of not knowing.
February 9, 2019
I Don't Know is an ode to admitting one's own limitations. One strength of this short book is that it emphasized insightful decision-making research and detailed why admitting that you don't know something can be beneficial towards making better informed choices in your life. There is nothing groundbreaking in this book, but it's always useful to be reminded about being sensitive towards succumbing to the allure of pretense.
June 21, 2019
Meh.
My son picked this up in the teen section at the library, but I wouldn't recommend to teens because the are a couple stories about sexual abuse that I think we're too graphic for that age.
The notion that there are times you should admit ignorance and times you shouldn't was reasonably well covered, but there was nothing very groundbreaking in it. It seemed like it's length and writing style were more article- like than book- like.
My son picked this up in the teen section at the library, but I wouldn't recommend to teens because the are a couple stories about sexual abuse that I think we're too graphic for that age.
The notion that there are times you should admit ignorance and times you shouldn't was reasonably well covered, but there was nothing very groundbreaking in it. It seemed like it's length and writing style were more article- like than book- like.
March 6, 2021
An interesting analysis of why we don't say "I don't know" more often. Whether out of fear or peer pressure, it often keeps us from learning new things and expanding our horizons.
It's a novel idea, and one that is going to be hard to implement, but it would be worthwhile if more people could admit that they don't know. Hager Cohen even talks about "The Emperor's New Clothes" as a prime example. Definitely something to think about.
It's a novel idea, and one that is going to be hard to implement, but it would be worthwhile if more people could admit that they don't know. Hager Cohen even talks about "The Emperor's New Clothes" as a prime example. Definitely something to think about.
May 26, 2020
I wanted to read this because I’m in the middle of No Book But the World which I am enjoying.
This gives some insight on the wonderful curiosity of the author, who entered life as a contract with the only downside being death,( she was taught by her mom) and is not afraid to say she doesn’t know except when it’s to feign ignorance about atrocities committed.
This gives some insight on the wonderful curiosity of the author, who entered life as a contract with the only downside being death,( she was taught by her mom) and is not afraid to say she doesn’t know except when it’s to feign ignorance about atrocities committed.
March 13, 2021
A sufficient argument for declaring, “I don’t know” and listening in a world drowning in hot takes, quickly typed (and thought out) Tweets to the current scandal, and social pressure to be experts on everything that matters
July 7, 2021
I put one quote into my course for students to consider--saying I don't know can open yourself up to learning (I believe the author said "receiving wisdom" but I thought that might be too pretentious for undergrads LOL). Interesting book and worth the quick read.
September 23, 2025
This seemed like nothing so much as an excuse to collect a handful of prized vignettes and pet causes together into a single book.
But I suppose that's my fault for grabbing a two hour audiobook and expecting something more profound.
But I suppose that's my fault for grabbing a two hour audiobook and expecting something more profound.
November 8, 2016
I was expecting a bit more about "know-it-alls" rather than just people who should actually stand up for what they know.
February 24, 2020
Quick interesting read
April 25, 2021
Life-changing!
October 10, 2023
I get it, it's important. I agree 100%. But this seemed unfocused and uninspired.
August 26, 2019
I've read a few of her books and thought I'd enjoy them more.
September 18, 2013
I don't know is similar in content to
Being Wrong
, but is a briefer, gentler book. As the title indicates, the author focuses on admitting ignorance rather than (as Schulz does) admitting wrongdoing or wrong-thinking.
Though I don't know is much shorter than Being Wrong, the pattern is similar: the author introduces a concept, supports it with research, and provides examples and anecdotes. Leah Hager Cohen is a lovely writer (I highly recommend her novel, The Grief of Others ), a thoughtful person, and a good researcher.
At just over 100 pages, there's really no reason *not* to read this book; I can easily envision it becoming required reading for high school students or those entering college.
Quotes (from the uncorrected proof):
Over time, [Ashley Montagu] lamented, we lose our openness....By the time formal education stops, around early adulthood for most people, "it is as though they believed that they had learned all they needed to know....At this time they begin to grow a shell around this pitiful store of knowledge and wisdom; from then on they vigorously resist all attempts to pierce that shell with anything new." Montagu called this process psychosclerosis, the hardening of the mind, and cited it as the reason that most adults "draw back from the unfamiliar, perhaps because they are reluctant to reveal ignorance." (13-14)
So how should we make decisions when we can't know what's right? (34)
That our intuition could lead us astray is troubling in direct proportion to the degree of trust we place in it. (36)
[Robert A. Burton] describes how the neural networks that link a thought to this feeling of knowing can be hard to undo, so that sometimes "an idea known to be wrong continues to feel correct." (37)
Telling the truth requires no special courage so long as the cost is nil. But the ability to say "I don't know" derives in no small part from privilege. (52)
Refraining from saying "I don't know" when we are conscious of making that choice is one thing, but what about all those times we don't know we don't know? (58)
The ability to know one's limitations, to recognize the bounds of one's own comprehension - this is a kind of knowing that approaches wisdom. (65)
Is there a wrong way to say "I don't know"? Yes. When we declare ignorance, it should be a) honest and b) in the spirit of opening ourselves up to hearing, to learning, to receiving. (70)
[Stokley is a reference librarian at] Evergreen State College, and saying "I don't know" is a big part of his job. In fact, it's what got him the job. (95)
Real civil discourse necessarily leaves room for doubt. That doesn't make us wishy-washy...We can still hold fervent beliefs. The difference is, we don't let those beliefs calcify into unconsidered doctrine. (105)
...Fundamentalism of any kind is the refusal to allow doubt. The opposite of fundamentalism is the willingness to say "I don't know." (106)
"The way I think of it," [my mother] said, "is when we're born, we get this wonderful prize, we get to be a person in the world. We get to partake of life. There's only one condition: At some point we have to die. That's the contract." (111)
Whether we tilt more in the direction of dread or hope boils down to how we manage our feelings about living with mystery. (107)
Though I don't know is much shorter than Being Wrong, the pattern is similar: the author introduces a concept, supports it with research, and provides examples and anecdotes. Leah Hager Cohen is a lovely writer (I highly recommend her novel, The Grief of Others ), a thoughtful person, and a good researcher.
At just over 100 pages, there's really no reason *not* to read this book; I can easily envision it becoming required reading for high school students or those entering college.
Quotes (from the uncorrected proof):
Over time, [Ashley Montagu] lamented, we lose our openness....By the time formal education stops, around early adulthood for most people, "it is as though they believed that they had learned all they needed to know....At this time they begin to grow a shell around this pitiful store of knowledge and wisdom; from then on they vigorously resist all attempts to pierce that shell with anything new." Montagu called this process psychosclerosis, the hardening of the mind, and cited it as the reason that most adults "draw back from the unfamiliar, perhaps because they are reluctant to reveal ignorance." (13-14)
So how should we make decisions when we can't know what's right? (34)
That our intuition could lead us astray is troubling in direct proportion to the degree of trust we place in it. (36)
[Robert A. Burton] describes how the neural networks that link a thought to this feeling of knowing can be hard to undo, so that sometimes "an idea known to be wrong continues to feel correct." (37)
Telling the truth requires no special courage so long as the cost is nil. But the ability to say "I don't know" derives in no small part from privilege. (52)
Refraining from saying "I don't know" when we are conscious of making that choice is one thing, but what about all those times we don't know we don't know? (58)
The ability to know one's limitations, to recognize the bounds of one's own comprehension - this is a kind of knowing that approaches wisdom. (65)
Is there a wrong way to say "I don't know"? Yes. When we declare ignorance, it should be a) honest and b) in the spirit of opening ourselves up to hearing, to learning, to receiving. (70)
[Stokley is a reference librarian at] Evergreen State College, and saying "I don't know" is a big part of his job. In fact, it's what got him the job. (95)
Real civil discourse necessarily leaves room for doubt. That doesn't make us wishy-washy...We can still hold fervent beliefs. The difference is, we don't let those beliefs calcify into unconsidered doctrine. (105)
...Fundamentalism of any kind is the refusal to allow doubt. The opposite of fundamentalism is the willingness to say "I don't know." (106)
"The way I think of it," [my mother] said, "is when we're born, we get this wonderful prize, we get to be a person in the world. We get to partake of life. There's only one condition: At some point we have to die. That's the contract." (111)
Whether we tilt more in the direction of dread or hope boils down to how we manage our feelings about living with mystery. (107)
February 8, 2014
Drawing on the insights of science and literature, this essay explores the power of admitting ignorance - and why it is so difficult to do so.
It's a short book, barely 72 pages long, and packed with the titles of other books to explore if you're fascinated by the topic of ignorance and the limits of human knowledge. There are intense social pressures to appear knowledgeable - pressures that even small children feel, though a failure to admit ignorance often spreads more darkness than light.
With anecdotes ranging from "The Emperor's New Clothes" to the recordings of a downed plane's little black box, Cohen illustrates the dangers of pretending to know when you don't. She brings together numerous sources in an interesting way, and it is clear that, with the recent insights of modern neuroscience and psychology, we seem to be getting a picture of exactly how little we know.
You should flip through Cohen's book with pen in hand to write down titles. But one she doesn't mention, Ignorance: How It Drives Science by Stuart Firestein, is another short book that looks at the subject from the perspective of a scientist. Opposing Cohen's willingness to admit ignorance is the clever book-length essay How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read by Pierre Bayard, which makes the argument that a little knowledge can go a long way. Finally, Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me) by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson, explores our endless human tendency toward self-justification.
Quotable:
"Over time, he lamented, we lose our openness. [Ashley] Montagu attributed this in part to conventional schooling, which he blamed for squashing a love of knowledge. 'School, instead of being a magic casement which opens on unending vistas of excitement, has become a restrictive, linear, one-dimensional, only too often narrowing, experience and to many a dead loss.' By the time formal education stops, around early adulthood for most people, 'it is as though they believed that they had learned all they needed to know,' he wrote. 'At this time they begin to grow a shell around this pitiful store of knowledge and wisdom; from then on they vigorously resist all attempts to pierce that shell with anything new.' Montagu called this process psychoschlerosis, the hardening of the mind, and cited it as the reason most adults 'draw back from the unfamiliar, perhaps because they are reluctant to reveal ignorance.'" - 19
"That our intuition could lead us astray is troubling in direct proportion to the degree of trust we place in it. The solution would seem to be: Don't be overly trusting. Mix in a healthy dose of skepticism. But suppose we don't have a say in the matter? Suppose we're hardwired to trust - to believe in - our instincts, regardless of whether they're right? Suddenly the problem of not knowing becomes a lot more complicated." - 29
It's a short book, barely 72 pages long, and packed with the titles of other books to explore if you're fascinated by the topic of ignorance and the limits of human knowledge. There are intense social pressures to appear knowledgeable - pressures that even small children feel, though a failure to admit ignorance often spreads more darkness than light.
With anecdotes ranging from "The Emperor's New Clothes" to the recordings of a downed plane's little black box, Cohen illustrates the dangers of pretending to know when you don't. She brings together numerous sources in an interesting way, and it is clear that, with the recent insights of modern neuroscience and psychology, we seem to be getting a picture of exactly how little we know.
You should flip through Cohen's book with pen in hand to write down titles. But one she doesn't mention, Ignorance: How It Drives Science by Stuart Firestein, is another short book that looks at the subject from the perspective of a scientist. Opposing Cohen's willingness to admit ignorance is the clever book-length essay How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read by Pierre Bayard, which makes the argument that a little knowledge can go a long way. Finally, Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me) by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson, explores our endless human tendency toward self-justification.
Quotable:
"Over time, he lamented, we lose our openness. [Ashley] Montagu attributed this in part to conventional schooling, which he blamed for squashing a love of knowledge. 'School, instead of being a magic casement which opens on unending vistas of excitement, has become a restrictive, linear, one-dimensional, only too often narrowing, experience and to many a dead loss.' By the time formal education stops, around early adulthood for most people, 'it is as though they believed that they had learned all they needed to know,' he wrote. 'At this time they begin to grow a shell around this pitiful store of knowledge and wisdom; from then on they vigorously resist all attempts to pierce that shell with anything new.' Montagu called this process psychoschlerosis, the hardening of the mind, and cited it as the reason most adults 'draw back from the unfamiliar, perhaps because they are reluctant to reveal ignorance.'" - 19
"That our intuition could lead us astray is troubling in direct proportion to the degree of trust we place in it. The solution would seem to be: Don't be overly trusting. Mix in a healthy dose of skepticism. But suppose we don't have a say in the matter? Suppose we're hardwired to trust - to believe in - our instincts, regardless of whether they're right? Suddenly the problem of not knowing becomes a lot more complicated." - 29
December 31, 2013
**One thing I do know**
One thing that I do know for sure is that I absolutely loved _I Don’t Know_.
As we all know, admitting when we don’t know something can be a challenge. This book provides a fascinating exploration of the two kinds of fears underlying this not-knowing:
“Fear of estrangement and fear of stepping into the abyss—for as much as we might worry that saying ‘I don’t know’ could cost us the human company we desire, evict us from our place around the hearth, there’s an even more primal fear associated with not knowing: that our inability to comprehend the universe might threaten our very survival. Our efforts to compensate for both social and psychic fears manifest in some pretty interesting ways.” (p.5)
The irony is that when we can admit that we do not know, we actually can become closer to others and more at peace with ourselves—and ultimately with the un-know-able world:
“Consider the irony. We swallow the words ‘I don’t know’ for fear of rupture: The admission might sever us from those we love or esteem. But the passive lie—the pretense of knowing—causes shame: an internal rupture, a rupture of self. And the bond we think we’ve managed to sustain with others is not a real bond; it’s based on falsity...Now consider the alternative. We allow the words ‘I don’t know’ to fly from our mouths, perhaps as a confession of ignorance, perhaps as a voicing of uncertainty. Either way, the result is relinquishing of control. We declare ourselves open to receiving information, ideas, and perspectives from beyond borders of self. And in so doing, our connection to others and to the world is not ruptured. On the contrary. In the honest flow of giving and receiving, we are closer than ever…So much becomes possible when we honor doubt.” (p. 97)
(Who knew?)
Beautifully written, incredibly illuminating, and powerfully moving, _I Don’t Know_ is certainly a book well-worth getting to know.
One thing that I do know for sure is that I absolutely loved _I Don’t Know_.
As we all know, admitting when we don’t know something can be a challenge. This book provides a fascinating exploration of the two kinds of fears underlying this not-knowing:
“Fear of estrangement and fear of stepping into the abyss—for as much as we might worry that saying ‘I don’t know’ could cost us the human company we desire, evict us from our place around the hearth, there’s an even more primal fear associated with not knowing: that our inability to comprehend the universe might threaten our very survival. Our efforts to compensate for both social and psychic fears manifest in some pretty interesting ways.” (p.5)
The irony is that when we can admit that we do not know, we actually can become closer to others and more at peace with ourselves—and ultimately with the un-know-able world:
“Consider the irony. We swallow the words ‘I don’t know’ for fear of rupture: The admission might sever us from those we love or esteem. But the passive lie—the pretense of knowing—causes shame: an internal rupture, a rupture of self. And the bond we think we’ve managed to sustain with others is not a real bond; it’s based on falsity...Now consider the alternative. We allow the words ‘I don’t know’ to fly from our mouths, perhaps as a confession of ignorance, perhaps as a voicing of uncertainty. Either way, the result is relinquishing of control. We declare ourselves open to receiving information, ideas, and perspectives from beyond borders of self. And in so doing, our connection to others and to the world is not ruptured. On the contrary. In the honest flow of giving and receiving, we are closer than ever…So much becomes possible when we honor doubt.” (p. 97)
(Who knew?)
Beautifully written, incredibly illuminating, and powerfully moving, _I Don’t Know_ is certainly a book well-worth getting to know.
December 23, 2013
Here we have a timely, succinct and easily read little book that tells us all we need to know about what we don’t. Doctors, lawyers Indian Chiefs, anyone in a position of authority, a parent, teacher, salesclerk, mechanic, minister, nurse… In other words, any one of us confronted with a question or dilemma will, according to Hager Cohen, benefit from the simple acknowledgement that perhaps we don’t know the answer. With a casual style and in very few words or pages, just 128 in hardcover, I Don’t Know is a quick and easy read about one of the most perplexing issues we face today, the seeming inability of people in public life to admit that we often don’t know the answers, or sometimes claim not to for various reasons, because of social pressures and inborn protective mechanisms. This self-preservation reflex, the instinct to cover up our lack of knowledge, begins earlier than we might think. It’s around five months old, according to Hager Cohen’s research. Human beings have a tough time admitting a lack of understanding, knowledge or insight, and this hesitation to fess up to our own humanity hurts us in numerous ways. It pushes us to do things we’re not prepared to do, keeps us ignorant of things afterward, makes it harder to admit confusion later on and leaves lasting scars for those who feel intimidated by the ‘must not admit it’ mentality.
The only weakness in the book is that it’s too short. I’d recommend it to any of the above listed individuals. Even more than the three little words we all need to hear, ‘I love you,’ may be the ones Hager Cohen uses in her title, ‘I Don’t Know.’
Byron Edgington, author of The Sky Behind Me: A Memoir of Flying & Life
The only weakness in the book is that it’s too short. I’d recommend it to any of the above listed individuals. Even more than the three little words we all need to hear, ‘I love you,’ may be the ones Hager Cohen uses in her title, ‘I Don’t Know.’
Byron Edgington, author of The Sky Behind Me: A Memoir of Flying & Life
January 27, 2014
I enjoyed the personal anecdotes and the framework. It was neat to think of the reasons people might want to pretend to know something they're actually ignorant of (in this book, the desired objects of knowledge were chiefly academic-related points) alongside the less obvious scenarios in which people might pretend not to know something that they do know (repressed memories of sexual abuse, profound insults, the specter or the actuality of violence, etc.)
The book gave a good interpretive lens for "Rumpelstiltskin" as presenting high stakes for a girl who does not know something - how to spin straw into gold, or what the funny man's name is.
There were references to other books I've read -
,
, and a firefighting story I remember from
- which was an interesting experience because I was self-conscious of a certain degree of smugness and privilege that comes with the sense of knowing, which is part of what the author was critiquing or calling out. It also made me aware of familiarity as a type of knowledge, which wasn't explicitly discussed in the book, at least not at length.
The book gave a good interpretive lens for "Rumpelstiltskin" as presenting high stakes for a girl who does not know something - how to spin straw into gold, or what the funny man's name is.
There were references to other books I've read -
,
, and a firefighting story I remember from
- which was an interesting experience because I was self-conscious of a certain degree of smugness and privilege that comes with the sense of knowing, which is part of what the author was critiquing or calling out. It also made me aware of familiarity as a type of knowledge, which wasn't explicitly discussed in the book, at least not at length.
February 18, 2017
Quick and short with some great ideas and insight. I wish she had taken it a bit further though!
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