Desperation Lingers

by Anthony Paull

Desperation Lingers doesn't want to die! She simply wants to break the habit of living another disastrous day. A guidance counselor at a Miami second chance school, she longs to be a teacher but sends the students scattering like roaches, calling her beastly names. Principal Hector Rivera says she's too high society, unable to relate. His criticism would be easier to take if the two weren't having a rocky, not-so-private affair. Still reeling from a series of failed marriages can she prove to Hector -- everyone -- that she has what it takes to lead a class? Recruiting three unlikely students, she devises a secret plan to instruct Miami's greatest social misfits the one subject she knows best -- etiquette. But who's teaching whom? And in the end, to what depths will Desperation plunge to learn the truth about life, love, and being a lady?

A romance of hilarity in the most nontraditional sense!

Genres: Humor

242 pages, Paperback

First published September 10, 2013

About the author

Anthony Paull began his writing career as the syndicated columnist of 'The Dating Diet,' a column which appeared in over 20 alternative newspaper publications. He has published two novels, the NPR Best YA Ever Finalist 'Outtakes of a Walking Mistake' and 'Desperation Lingers.' He has also directed several short films, including 'Air Signs' set for release in 2016. As an entertainment journalist, he has covered Sundance and SXSW. He is presently working on his third novel.

Reviews

[Trisha Harrington · Rating 3 out of 5]

I want to start off my review by saying, this book is funny. Anthony Paull has a great way of writing humorous books, and I love his writing style. The book is written in a very engaging way. Fans of humour and Chick Lit will adore this book. And to a certain extent, I really liked the book. There were some very funny scenes, but unfortunately, I didn't adore this book.

My real issue with this book was Dee - Desperation - the protagonist. And that is never usually a good thing. I liked her in the beginning, even though she confused me. Maybe it was just because of the things she did and the way she acted, but I found myself really not connecting with her. In the end I actually found a certain level of respect for her. She showed a lot of personal growth. I won't list the things I disliked about her, mainly because it would give away some spoilers.

One thing I can mention - because it's in the blurb - is the relationship between her and her boss, Hector. I did have issues with it. If I were to be honest, I wouldn't call it a relationship or an affair. She didn't have a lot of luck with her marriages - yes there was more than one.

There were aspects of the book I liked. Most of those being the secondary characters. I think the LGBT aspect of this book was great. I even liked - and disliked - the fact the protagonist was an older woman. That's where the likes end, but they did bring it up to a three, so they were a huge bonus to the book.

I can recommend this book. Fans of the Chick Lit genre would love this more than I did. But saying all that, is was a really good book, just not for me really. It can be classified as a romance, to a degree, but it's not your typical romance. It's almost coming of age, but with an older character finding her way in the world.

This book was provided by the author in exchange for a fair and honest review.

[Tabitha (Tabi Thoughts) · Rating 5 out of 5]

After struggling to keep up with all my writing and college work as an English major, I was finally given an assignment that allowed me to review my book of choice. Since I loved this book so much and had yet fulfilled my promise to review it, I of course chose Desperation Lingers!

Here is my full review of it!

I decided to read the book Desperation Lingers when the author offered me a free digital copy of the book. This book was given to me in exchange for my honest review. After looking at the plot and the cover of the book, I knew it would be very different from books I had read. However, I was more than happy to be selected to read it.

I received my free copy of Desperation Lingers towards the end of October of 2013 and began reading the book during my free time. It didn’t take me long to get through the book. Its story is so entertaining that I sped right through it. Unfortunately, by the time I had finished reading, assignments started piling up and finals were approaching. Therefore, I didn’t get the chance to review the book as promptly as I would have liked. However, having read it nearly 5 months ago, I still remember the book vividly.

Desperation Lingers is a hilariously funny book intertwined with some dark humor. It is written by newly published author Anthony Paul. It’s his second novel following Outtakes of a Walking Mistake.

Desperation Lingers follows the life of Dee. Dee is unlike any other character that you've ever read about. The first thing you notice about Dee is her prominent nose which resembles that of a witch. Perhaps her looks and oddities resemble a wicked character from a fairy tale because Dee’s life is comparable to a woman who’s fallen under a curse. Since the early days of her childhood, she has always felt like she was never good enough for anyone or anything. She was adopted and even her adoptive mother made her feel hideous and unwanted. She was always correcting and criticizing her on eloquence. She repeatedly tried to sculpt her into an elegant lady. When she wasn't condemning Dee for her posture or how she looked, she completely neglected her. She never cared to speak to Dee or develop the close bond that mothers and daughters share.

Dee’s life didn't improve much when she began living on her own. She had been married four times and divorced three. All the marriages ended bad except the one she didn't get the chance to continue. She found her first husband in bed with a mannequin, her second husband wearing diapers and her third husband was abusive. Her final “I do” was to a man named Felix. The only man she ever truly loved. The period of happiness Dee finally experienced turned out to be temporary when Felix died. Once she finally found a man who loved and accepted her(and was seemingly normal), she never received the chance at a loving and happy marriage.

After losing Felix, her life spiraled out of control. She became a heavy drinker and put herself into dangerous and embarrassing situations. One of the regular occurrences was going to the 11th floor balcony of her condo and contemplating diving off of it. When she isn't a drunk disaster, she’s a fifty year old guidance counselor at a Miami Second Chance School. The one thing Dee desperately wants is to become a teacher.

Along with her persistence, Dee also engages in an on and off fling with Principal Hector. The fling or her persistence doesn't get her anywhere. The faculty refuses to promote her as a teacher. They completely shun the idea whenever it is brought up. The reason being; Dee scares the students. Despite being placed in a job where you’re supposed to be approachable and helpful, the students (along with most people) see Dee as anything but that. None of them willingly go in to see her. She plays the role of a guidance counselor, yet she has no control over her own life.

This doesn't stop Dee from going to work every day in her attempt to achieve at least one of the two things she’s after; Hector or the teaching job. With Dee’s luck, it doesn't seem like either are easy to attain. Hector is still married to his estranged wife and shows no interest in Dee beyond sex. Along with that, the faculty has made it clear that Dee has absolutely no potential as a teacher. Somewhere along the way, Dee musters up the motivation to prove them all wrong. Yeah, she wants to show all of them! This new-found confidence inspires Dee to start teaching a class within her own home. Ironically, the class she decides to teach is something she herself lacks… etiquette. Poise, Presentation, Perfection the three words spoken from her mom that have haunted Dee her entire life. The three qualities that she was never able to attain. Dee, being the odd character that she is decides to teach this anyways.

With her reputation at the school, she has trouble with getting students to sign up for her class. That’s when Dee gets creative. She decides to blackmail one of the school’s most troubled students into signing up for her class. With this student’s menacing influence, Dee soon has two other students joining her on Saturday afternoon for classes on etiquette.

Although the students mainly show disinterest in the class, Dee continues to teach it. Along the way she not only learns things about the students, but about herself. She finds herself forming a bond with these students and she comes to believe they are becoming fond of her as well.

In the midst of trying to prove to herself and others that she can teach, Dee also decides it’s time to look for her real family. Her adoptive parents have been dead for years and she longs for the possibility of affection from blood relatives. The investigation starts off with a slow start, but eventually picks up. Dee becomes closer to tracking down her family.

As you watch the book unfold, you become just as anxious and uncertain as Dee. This book is certainly a page turner that leaves you in anticipation for what will happen next. Will her family welcome her with open arms? Have they tried looking for her along the years? Will she find the love she has been longing for? Will she finally land her dream job of teaching? There are several questions that you won’t know the answers to without reading the book. It’s such a captivating, amusing and inspiring story that I can’t allow myself to ruin it for you.

Desperation Lingers is different from any other book I've read. It has a wildly entertaining story which I’d love to see it be made into a comedy movie! It isn't often that a book has me laughing out loud. I laughed so much while reading this book that if I would have read it in public, people would have wondered what the hell I was reading. In fact, I sometimes questioned that myself, but in the best possible way! It begins with the crazy and hysterical antics of a middle aged woman’s life, but there’s so much more to the story than that. Through all her heart ache and tribulations, Dee isn't a conventional character that you’d read about in a story. Her quirks and out of the box character make her feel more real than the typical characters you read about. Dee is extremely easy to connect with. I not only liked her as a character, but I befriended her. At the end of the book, I was left wondering where my friend Dee was headed next.

[Tegan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was surprised at how much I actually liked this book. I admit, it wasn't a book I would typically go for. If I saw it in the bookstore I wouldn't have picked it up, because while I know you shouldn't judge a book for it's cover, everyone does. And the cover did not appeal to me at all. I mean, that NOSE! It's just horrendous. And plus I just don't like pictures of people, real or art, on covers. But I'm glad I got this book for review because it forced me to give this book a chance and I'm glad I did. It was funny, I liked the characters and it was the perfect length. I actually thought this book was worth 4.5 stars, but I rated it down instead of up since half stars aren't possible.

It kept me guessing until the very end and I found my self, aloud, saying "OMG, WHAT?" One example is with Rose... the truth about her, I didn't suspect. The plot had me laughing, and that is pretty hard to do with a book for me. I get emotionally distraught with a lot of sad books but it's hard to get me laughing. There were only a few minor reasons I gave it a 4.5 and not a 5, which are insignificant enough to not rate it as low as a 4. For one, that nose is absolutely horrid, and that statement in the beginning in which she says she could be a model except for that nose is way too farfetched. With that nose it's impossible for her to be even a little bit attractive, which also makes it way too unrealistic that she had 4 husbands and another three men chasing after her (Hector, Brady, Wes). Men will want a woman who looks good, and when her nose is bigger and uglier than theirs, why would they want that? I could believe that she had two marriages, but four was pushing it too far. How could 7 men in such a short period of time find her that attractive? It's just impossible.
Another minor thing that irked me was the grammar. A lot of parts in the book I had to reread in order to understand because of either lack of punctuation or a repeat of words that was unnecessary. While this isn't a big deal, I'm an editor, so the fact that so many little semantics could be overlooked really upsets me. The editor should be fired, seriously. In one sentence, "an friend" was written. NO NO NO NO NO. Just no. AN should never be written before friend in any circumstance. It should always be "A FRIEND." Also, never was written twice, as "never never" in a different sentence when having the second "never" didn't make any sense, that second one should have been omitted. There were lots of small errors like that that just made me cringe.

But because the plot was good, and it kept my attention, I gave it a good score. I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[DJ Sakata · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Rating

4.5 Smirking stars

Favorite Quotes:

“Once I had it all – a chest that would chin up and smile, a pearl of a pet cat, and a husband who’d wake to warm me with a kiss. Now I can’t get a text to wink.”

“Now, had I been born with beauty instead of brains I certainly would have made the radar of a successful campus man. However, I was blessed with distinct attributes such as the beak of a Great Blue Heron.”

“Granted, I may not be the freshest hen at the market but my expiration date hasn’t hit yet.”

“Have you ever noticed how ‘I have to tell you something’ is often followed by something you never needed to hear?”

“Is it a challenge? I watch her taillights fade, and I press the gas, slow and steady. I know better than to race. I’m in no state for it. I’m not interested in a duel until I catch a glimpse of her arm slip out of the window. She extends her middle fingers, and it’s ON.”

“We all connect, all energy waiting to inevitably take on a new form. We’re so quick, so fast to need heaven it sets the fire of hell at our hells.”

My Review:

I would bet that Anthony Paull has a high IQ as well as a bright future as a writer, playwright, and/or pundit. I also suspect that he has been a woman in a previous life - as he sooo gets it! His Desperation Lingers is a delicious treat of smart humor. While reading, I had marked so many “Favorite Quotes,” I had a hard time narrowing it down to my favorite 6! It wasn’t a fast read, as I feared if I read too fast, I would miss the pun, the irony, the twisted self-depreciating insults and insights. I adored them, however painful or embarrassing the truth turned out to be. Our heroine “Dee,” has suffered a variety of unique yet major losses, in rather odd ways. She realizes she is feeling isolated and decides to make a renewed effort of self-improvement, and while trying desperately to find and make connections with others - she tends to simultaneously push them away. Seeing herself as “a work of art,” Dee tends to attract and collect a cavalcade of other peculiar people (good and bad) and she just cannot seem to shake or rid herself of them despite her best, and worst, efforts. She has startling moments of clarity, often while intoxicated and embarrassing herself to no end. Hmm, know that feeling… I found Dee to be surprising resilient, despite her many mistakes and regrets, and applauded when finally starts putting her puzzle together. This book is wicked funny, yet poignant and painfully perceptive. I smirked, chuckled, and even laughed aloud more than a few times. At other times, my breath hitched and my eyes felt a rare sting behind them. I loved every nuance and revelation, as well as the inner dialog that tended to jump around like a Chihuahua on crack, although most of “us gals” hear that same scattered inner voice, did I mention that he gets it?

[Trish Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasn't sure what to expect with this book after I saw the cover. I thought... plunger, woman/man... what? I started stalking Anthony because The Book Trollop said this guy was funny (and a stud). I fell in love with Anthony immediately. He's hysterical and crude, basically everything a man should be. I figured if this guy could make me laugh with a few one liners on Facebook, his book was worth the read. I wasn't disappointed. Desperation is one of the most interesting female leads I have ever read about. She's proper, but a sloppy drunk. She preaches about women standing firm, but caves at the sight of a certain gentleman. She's broken and lonely, but her sense of humor is intact.

Desperation is every woman. She encompasses the best and the worst attributes of females. She frustrated me, she made me laugh, she broke my heart, and there were a few times I wanted to cunt punch her.

I have to give Anthony a standing ovation for writing from the female perspective. He nailed it. It's difficult to write a character as looney as Desperation, and make it believable. Despite her craziness, she was relatable. Most women can connect to what Desperation was feeling, thinking, saying, doing. We have all been in those situations that leave us feeling like shit, getting wasted to drown out the pain, running to the wrong men, and running away from the right ones.

I'm a sucker for good friendships in a book. Anthony delivered a quirky, unconventional, lovable cast of friends that I fell head over heels for. I always root for the underdogs, and I was happy to see a whole group of them.

This is a book about acceptance. Accepting yourself, and others, even if you're not societies norm. It's about banding together and creating your own norm. It goes beyond women empowerment, it's men, big nosed, drunk, gay, transgender, all of it! It screams to the masses of misfits that you can be you, you can love and be loved, just as you are.

Anthony is what I like to call a 'smart' writer. Anthony's style is unique and in your face. The pace was spot on, as was the dialogue. The whole book played out like a movie in front of me. It flowed with ease and jumped out at you when you least expected it. I loved every bit of it.

Plungers in the sky!!

[K.C. Wilder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where to begin?
How to describe Desperation?
Anthony Paull has created characters and a story unlike anything I've read before - and that's a good thing.
In the interest of full disclosure, I have a personal love affair with Miami that may have slightly predisposed me to enjoy this novel. I was born there and my frequent return visits feel like soul-deep homecomings. That Paull so perfectly captures the flavor and quirks of the city that is my "woman hood" made me smile.
That said, this isn't a story for everyone. But it should be. Desperation Lingers reads initially like a farce, with characters and events so absurd and larger-than-life, it's a cross between Shakespeare and Tom Robbins, with maybe a dash of community theatre and a hint of Miami-fied BBC sitcom.
Got it?
The genius of Desperation lies not just in Paull's outrageous characters, hilarious observations, and perfect turns of phrase, but in his ability to turn the world of this novel on end every time the reader thinks she's got a grasp on things. To be frank, this is a book with an unlovable protagonist, and if not for the colorful world Desperation inhabits, I might not have cared enough to read past the first few chapters. Desperation is a brusque, physically-unappealing aging alcoholic whose level of self-absorption is impressive even by South Beach standards.
Except that she's not.
In Paull's skilled hands, this unlovable woman is transformed. I don't want to say too much, because the ultimate beauty of this novel is the stunning twists and turns it takes - particularly in the rollicking final quarter - but I will say this: tough it out past those points where you want to throttle Desperation and you'll be rewarded. She has good reason to be hard and staid, and she could easily have remained the caricature she seemed at the outset. In the end, though, her absurd qualities are her most endearing and enduring, and this larger-than-life tale shrinks beautifully until it is just about heart-sized.
If you believe people truly can change, or if you've ever felt disapproval from a Frieda Kahlo portrait and wished you could change, this book is for you.
If not, this book is also for you.
Grab a plunger and wave it proudly. Desperation Lingers is not what she seems. And neither are you.

[**Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

I RECEIVED A FREE COPY OF THIS BOOK FROM THE AUTHOR FOR AN HONEST REVIEW.

OMG. What in the hell did I just read? Desperation Lingers, or Dee, is ONE HOT MESS!!! I don't know if I ever read about such a catastrophic, yet utterly hilarious character. ANd the sad part is... SHE REMINDS ME OF ME!!!!! First, she is screwing the principal, Hector, (who clogs her toilet!!!!), who she works for. She is a guidance counselor that nobody likes (she scares the students). She wants to teach students so badly that she blackmails the students into attending her class on etiquette.. which she sorely lacks herself!!! ANd these aren't exactly charm school students either. Let's just say they have more important issues in life right now than their lacking etiquette... Her needs a clue in life neighbor has informed her she wasn't always a woman. And frankly.. Dee is frankly needing a bit orf reality in her life and she is searching for her long lost birth mother. Oh, and let's not forget Bev Dear (her mom) that reminded me of Samantha's mom (Bewitched) and Joan Crawford (without the wire hanger). The more I read this the more I was confused on which character was more fucked up!! And I couldn't stop giggling!!!

I was so surprised how much I enjoyed this and as much as Hector was an ass I liked him too... or at least I laughed my ass off at him. I can honestly say I think anyone would enjoy this little read.

[AGirlAmongstBooks (Jess Green) · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received a copy for free from the author in exchange for an honest review.*

This book is not the type I normally read. I knew this from the blurb, but something about it spoke to me. In the beginning, I wasn't really sure where the story was taking me, so I just sat back and let it unfold. I'm glad, that I took the time to step out of my "comfort" zone and read this. Desperation is NOT your typical heroine...actually she's everything you hope your heroine is NOT....(well at least in the beginning). She takes you on her journey of self discovery and along the way you feel uplifted as well. As a woman, I understood Dee's struggles. Not feeling like she is pretty enough, smart enough, worthy of anything good. I've been there and Dee's struggles really touched me..I quickly found myself rooting for her and when she would mess up or something disastrous would happen, I found myself saying "Pull it together Desperation!" There are a few twists that kept the story interesting and the ending had me tear up a little. The author really brings Dee's character to life and you can clearly picture her in your mind! I would recommend this book! Give it a shot!!!

*This review is also done in conjunction with A Girl Amongst Books Blog. For more information on my reviews or to request a review, visit my fan site: www.facebook.com/agirlamongstbooks *

[Thea Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to be sent a signed copy of this book by the author through Goodreads: First Reads and I was genuinely thrilled with what a good read it was. Anthony Paull has a lovely touch and is very funny. While this may not be the type of book that would initially grab me at the book shop I am glad that I took the plunge and gave it a go as was a brilliant read and I loved every minute of the time I spent with it. My advice to anyone thinking of reading this book would be to go for it! It's worth it!

[Anthony Paull · Rating 5 out of 5]

Take the plunge!!! Read Desperation Lingers! Enjoy!

"Love what they taught you to hate to learn who you are."

Available now!

Amazon Special!

2.99 Kindle! 8.69 Paperback!

#wildwomendo #miamibeachladies xx ap

[Carlos B · Rating 5 out of 5]

You stupid, stupid. Stuuupid bitch author, now you've done it. Now you've gone and made me tear up a little. The problem is that it’s just so indie-quirky-makes-it-big-in-Hollywood, except it‘s like the Hollywood of the emotions. I don‘t know how to describe it. It reminded me of so many movies my mother likes to go see with me when I visit that never in the world would I go see otherwise; and she’s in tears and I’m maybe about to, but because she looks over at me like, “isn't that beautiful/sad/heroic?” I have to be all, “chill mom, ain't nobody crying here bro.”

So, this is about Dee Lingers, an atonal character - so as not to say discordant. The way she moves throughout the novel has that feeling of throwing a wrench into the cogs of society, which is ironic because all she seems to ever want to do is give a lesson on etiquette. Not to mention that she’s a “guidance counselor” for whatever reason. Wait, the reason is to make you laugh. All in all, a crazy birch. Reminds me of a line: “Dee you've never been that considerate of others. You can’t see beyond your nose to care.” Yes, she has an imposing honker. And if you keep reading this review it might spoil your shit, “ I don’t care [either] I love it”.

Speaking of shit: the plungers. I’m right with Lisette on walking around with those things on certain scenes like a plumber - just not into it, but it is a mighty good shtick. I especially like the suicide attempt scenes, “You fly out that door, I fly off that balcony.” By a point like that, you know she’ll do it, it’s been romanticized enough in her mind. The idea of dying because love’s being kept from you is presented at different degrees. That is why the characters must take that plunge[r] and change their lives.

Anyway, Dee does things that suddenly stab your sense of the rational, but if you lived enough, you know that certain improvised actions, be they under the influence of emotions or libations, are imperfectly understandable and you accept them by thinking: “yep, that’s what happens.” Then, there’s no recovering back one thinks, but the thing is, there is. Resilience, that’s what this story is about and about the realization that women may get crazier with age: “momentary lapses of reason arrive more frequently with each passing year, each passing man. I can’t just batter my stomach with baked goods each time I’m scorned. I scream because mewling doesn't work.” Maybe it’s just her, I don’t know, but I do have a few aunts who might’ve been submissive when young but will advice anyone to “stick it to him right back” regarding whatever argumentative occasion, no matter how small.

Maybe that’s why I like sassy Lisette, she adds the reality of the typical reader reaction before acts of childish abandon, reminds us of how we can dismiss the unusual or atypical, the strange for the sake of strangeness, that begs a reflection from others to see themselves anew in another way from what they saw in the mirror before daring outside; And the look we give back may be of disdain, pity, indifference, horror, or actual rejoicing for the unexpected surprise inserted in the menial day-to-day operation of modern first-world living. Because let’s face it, the only time when we are interesting these days, is when we’re being compassionate, [civil] disobedient, crazy or creative, as is in Linger’s case.

I know it’s been five paragraphs already, what’s the matter? I thought we had an agreement? I promise something dirty, how about that? Now, talking about the flow of the narrator, with his liquid imagery and many references to connectivity through painting and such - I liked it, was enjoyable. But I would've just liked a little more in-your-face when she unwound romantically at that part before the ending, that section was somewhat formulaic, but I understand the structure needed it to be fast in order to get to the glorious ending; plus, there were a lot of other things to be tied.

This present-day Lysistrata has one thing to add to the batter of the sexes though, that is, a sense of a wider sisterhood, or “woman hood”, like they put it. Because it extends an invitation to the marginal female figures out there. Then there is the build up of the feminist assertions and whatnot, nothing I understand much, but it’s there especially when she asserts that “as women we don’t apologize enough to each other”…

Reading this on the toilet/throne, it never dawned on me that my plunger could be a scepter as I splash, relieved, into the life-sustaining element that connects us all. In the novel, this movement between toilet and firmament is the human animal and its longing for a metaphysical connection so many writers seek to portray and here it is comically and simply found, presentable in its cohesion. Plop Plop. There, promised you something dirty.

So, when Lisette says: “Pfft, I’m not clogging myself for no man.” One understands that it is not just about the clearing up of internal obstructions, it is also about letting the gook out to clear a passageway. Rather visceral, I know. A fine double metaphor also intended for a dive into the world, the street, the lives of those who may be there to save you or move apart to let you hit the pavement, but hey, that’s life, the be all end all of it.

“So paint us - a woman and a man - running. Along the sidewalk… we’re not more than specks of dust, pigments, reflecting the color of the green in the trees and the blue in the sea.”

[The Book Trollop · Rating 5 out of 5]

The only word that comes to the forefront of my mind when thinking back to this book is HOT MESS... OOk maybe that is two words but you get what I mean.

When the author first emailed me about this book, I was thinking, "ok what kind of cover is that??" (yes I admit, I am a total judgmental cover whore) so I read the synopsis, which I usually never do because I like to be surprised with what I am about to read. And again, I was like hmmm interesting but this does not seem like the type of book I would normally read. So I do what any sane person would do and stalked the author (What do you mean thats not SANE???). Well, lets just say after stalking him for a little bit and seeing his posts... I totally fell head over heels in love with him. He is funny, charming, and I thought to myself "of course he swings for the other team, all the amazing ones do!!" So I email him back and tell him that I would review his book for him AND that I thought we should become BFFs because he just seemed like he was great BFF material!
Plus, he is perverted like me and that is always a winner in my book!!

So fast forward a few (ok a lot) of weeks and I finally get around to reading this book and as I am reading, I am totally confused on where this book is going. I forgot what it was about from reading the synopsis but I am still stalking this author and I know how funny and amazing he is, so I know this book was going to blow me away too.
So I continue on.

I get more and more into this book and I just keep thinking "God this woman is one hot ass mess, she needs to get her shit together already." She frustrated me so much with her back and forth that I wanted to strangle her myself!!
It was like, if something good was coming her way, she felt she didn't deserve it so she would fuck it up somehow to ruin the good thing.

I would like to say there was a certain turning point in the story where shit seemed to finally level out but there were a lot of those. It would straighten out and then the MC would turn around and fuck it up...again.

But even with the frustration with the MC, I was still invested and loving this book. I didn't know what the fuck to do with this character and whether or not I wanted to like her or smack her but I was still loving the overall message. The sense of empowerment for woman, the sisterhood of sticking together and knowing your worth, and even when society deems you unacceptable, you can be acceptable within yourself and love yourself. Friendships are also important in any shape or form you get them in. Whether it is in the shape of a teenager with a broken home life or a woman trapped in a man's body... They are important...

So I get to the end and I still have no clue what I just read but I felt like I wanted to start a sisterhood group of my own. Empower people, start a movement, show people they are loved no matter what shape, size, or sexual orientation they come in!
It was like a lightbulb going off in my head. "Oh that's the message!!! That was what the author was trying to get across"...

Such a sly fellow, that one!

He delivered a powerful message in the most unconventional way possible but it was there within the confines of that book and I loved it. I loved how obvious but yet not obvious this message was delivered and I totally "got it". Of course it took me a second but I still "got it".

So if you want to read an empowering, enlightening book with an overall unconventional way of telling a powerful message then I would give this book a chance and I promise by the end you will feel like a better person.

No seriously, take a chance and read Desperation Lingers, uncover the sense of empowerment through the words and then come back here and lets discuss!!

Overall, I give this book a 4.5/5 and I hope to read and stalk more of Anthony in the future :)..

[L · Rating 4 out of 5]

You DESPERATELY need to read this one!


First off, if you can not handle sarcasm or harsh humor don't read this. I mean really, it is hilarious I laughed so hard I almost peed myself! However, if you have a stick up your ass when it comes to humor just walk away. Or don't, maybe this will help plunge that stick out of it.
I follow a lot of blogs on Facebook and a few of them had this read listed as a MUST READ. Well we all know how the "must reads" of Facebook and goodreads work(not always that great so therefore not always a must read).. so I held off. But after Following Anthony Paull on Facebook I HAD to read this book. I figured if the book was half as funny and original as his Facebook posts it'll be worth it. IT WAS!

To the Review:
Desperations Lingers is a Guidance Counselor at a second chance high. But she doesn't mesh with the kids.But, by a happy accident(not so at the time but it turns into one) she starts to hold "class" for a special teen and then a few others join in.While teaching these students she is also learning a lesson herself. Almost realizing too late just how important some of the people in her life have become.
As a aspiring high school teacher( I have 3 more semesters of school) and as a sister and daughter of high school teachers let me say that Anthony Paull NAILED the attitude of these teens. Thruought the read you learn a lot about the bitchy heroine and also a few nuggets of wisdom. By the end you are in love with all of the characters and you see that maybe it's really truly ok to just love yourself and the life you are living.

If you are looking for a read that isn't heavy. That isn't going to be the same 21 year old virgin girl falling for the older man whore, then this is the book for you! Hell, parts of it should be framed and worshipped. If nothing else it's only $3, try it! I DARE YOU!

A few quotes that I LOVED!!!

"You're not in prison. You're not that dangerous… Tell me, do you like the idea? Prison? Hot showers with indiscriminate men?"
"What?" he asks.
"A little Oopsie in your Poopsie" << This line.. Is far too funny!

"We all connect. When one raindrop goes missing we each feel the splash"

"Abstinence isn't a realistic option for everyone. I understand that. But why not save yourself for a man who's willing to work for it?… What's wrong with being selective" << A FREAKING MAN!

[Heather Manley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Warning: if you like to read books with cardboard cutout characters, who fit neatly into stereotyped boxes, don't read Desperation Lingers. You will hate Dee, the main character of this book, because she will challenge your view of what an upper-crust middle-aged woman should be. However, if you are someone who finds beauty in the complex, complicated, and quirky, you will fall in love with Dee and this amazing story! It will shock you, make you laugh, and bring tears to your eyes.

I've heard others describe Desperation Lingers as a coming of age tale. What makes it unique is that the main character is in her 50s. The other characters are at various stages of life and are also on a journey of self-acceptance. They are all misfits and their `Island of Lost Toys' turns out to be Dee's etiquette class. Through hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking interactions, Dee and her pupils learn much more than what fork to use. They learn to peel back the layers until they find the truth of who they were meant to be.

As I stated at the start, if you are a fan of paint-by-numbers style chic lit, then this book may not be for you. However, if you are looking for a fresh, original narrative and interesting, crazy beautiful characters, you will LOVE Desperation Lingers. Anthony Paull's writing style is fun, and edgy. He has tapped into something so raw that it can be difficult to look at, but impossible to turn away from. Desperation encourages us to reexamine ourselves, and learn to love what others have labeled as abnormal, ugly, or weak. We can all learn something from Dee and her dysfunctional class and have a blast in the process.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given a complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review.

Dee is stuck in a rut, working as a student counselor in a school in Miami that offers second chances, all the while having an affair with the principal. Fifty something Dee comes set in her ways, of money, high society, and the way things should be. Except, Dee isn't most of those things she believes in, for the most part, she contradicts herself all the time. Most of the time she is a hot mess constantly nursing a hangover or seeking a new creative way to end her misery. After learning that the principal is moving on with another woman, she must seek out a new plan to survive. She gathers a misfit group of students and a neighbor and seeks to teach them etiquette. What she doesn't know is that this group will teach her more about herself that she realizes.

As surprising as it is to say, Dee wasn’t my favorite character in this book, I enjoyed Dee and her adventures, but Kitay or Kitty as her neighbor calls herself was my favorite character. Kitay, is Dee’s transgender neighbor straight off the farm and isn’t at all ready for the South Beach area, until she meets Dee. While Kitay may need Dee with her help, and advice, I think Dee may need Kitay more.

This is a refreshing story, unlike anything I have read, it will knock you on your butt laughing, and I enjoyed the story line more than I thought because it was so different. If you are stuck in a reading rut, consider giving this one a try.

[Kasey B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anthony Paull proves he's not a one hit wonder with his newest book 'Desperation Lingers'. I was lucky enough to get my hands on a copy of the book and I really enjoyed it. The story begins with a middle aged woman who enjoys vodka, colorful clothing, and her burrito-loving former lover who has severe bowel issues. Paull has managed to bring both charm and wit, as seen in his previous book, 'Outtakes of a Walking Mistake' into his latest endeavor and it works. His newest protagonist is a force to be reckoned with and makes for a very memorable character. The supporting characters also steal the show in several parts of his book with their funny banter and very realistic struggles. One of my favorite parts of the book is when the main character and her "students" venture down the street with plungers and creating a hilarious scene but I won't spoil the reason why in my review. Paull has done a fantastic job of creating fictional characters with serious life issues and managing to make it simultaneously funny and heart wrenching. I found myself invested in all of the characters, even in their moments of weakness, and cheering for them as they discovered themselves with the help of each other. I definitely recommend the book and look forward to more works from Anthony Paull in the future.

[Shelly Hickman · Rating 4 out of 5]

*I was gifted a copy for an honest review.*

I didn’t quite know what to expect when I began reading this book, but I have to say the characters won me over. As other reviewers have mentioned, Dee is not the most likable of characters, and being in her head throughout the entire story became a bit exhausting at times. She is so messed up! But at the same time, as you learn of her history, you understand why she’s messed up. Her self-destructive nature made me want to bail on her sometimes. However, aside from her unsavory love interest, Hector, the people she begins to create this unlikely “family” with are what make this story so endearing.

My only issue with the book was the lack of punctuation, at times, making me reread a sentence to get its meaning. This is the only reason I’m giving the book four stars instead of five. However, there are some really beautifully written lines in this work, several of which I highlighted. “Interesting, how we all find religion at death’s door. Perhaps even the most stubborn drop of water secretly yearns to accept its source.” There were many such wonderful, and often witty, sentiments in this book, but what I loved most about this story was its message that family doesn’t always have to be blood. Family can be who you choose to welcome into your life, and it comes in all sorts of packages. “Desperation Lingers” is a worthy read.

[Skyler · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received a free copy of this book through the GoodReads First Reads Giveaway.

Desperation Lingers is one of the most bizarre feminist and quasi inspirational chick-lit books you will ever find on a bookstore shelf. Desperation Lingers will teach you what it means to be a lady. With her plunger raised high to the sky, she will show you what it takes to abandon your daily life drowning your loneliness in glasses of vodka and fanciful wishes of death, in exchange for a real family and friends who stick around. Just because you have a nose the size of a toucan's does not give you the right to let them win. After all, that's what they want you to do, right? And although it might be easier to push people away and lash out with bitterness and sassy retorts, the true strength lies in learning to let go and "love what others have taught you to hate."

I took the plunge. Will you?

Warning: This book is hilariously absurd. Ms. Lingers kindly requests that readers not snort loudly when they grace the airwaves with their boisterous laughs. A lady has an image to uphold.

[Steve Bockoski · Rating 5 out of 5]

First, I should tell you- I read pretty much everything this guy writes. His syndicated column The Dating Diet always makes me laugh and usually throws in a life lesson as s bonus. His first novel, Outtakes of a Walking Mistake, was amazing. Desperation Lingers, his most recent release, is another hit. At times dark, other times inspiring, it's consistently hilarious and thoroughly entertaining. These characters will definitely make an impression, and all for different reasons. Dee's story is full of twists and turns that kept me glued to the page- I couldn't wait to see what happened next, and then I couldn't believe it- ha ha! Paull is a fantastic writer, and I can't wait for his next offering.

[Bradley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every once in a great while a book will come along that changes your life. For me, Desperation Lingers is one of those rare books. Let me tell you upfront. This book isn't going to be for everyone. You'll have to have an open mind and a dash of black humor to enjoy it.

Desperation Lingers. Yes, that's the poor name she's been saddled with is a high school guidance counselor in California. None of the students like her. She's recently come to her sense and ended the torrid affair she's been having with her boss, the principal.

She's on the ledge. Literally. The book opens with Desi on the ledge. But the journey that Desi takes to keep herself off the ledge and to rebuild her life was truly inspiring to me.

[Wally · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whoa! Anthony Paull has written a polished page turner here, with a creative surprising storyline. This is NOT your average boring predicable Velveeta Cheese story about a woman turning her life around. Desperation literally jumps off the page, or the balcony, from page one. The storyline takes a bazaar, out-of-the-box approach that veers into Chuck Palahniuk land. It's a funny, funny read that's more than just fluff. I found myself gasping and laughing during a number of scenes, going what did this woman just say??? She's sleeping with who??? And when she starts teaching from her house, well, all hell breaks loose. A tight twisty read.

[Bror (Abrar) · Rating 4 out of 5]

So Desperation is a vodka loving , crazy , high society lady with mommy issues . But i loved her .
Her journey was sad , hilarious and heartwarming all at once .

The story has lot's of good characters , my favorite was kitty ; she's annoyingly funny in a way . Hector i couldn't like him even a little (hated his gut) .

Again i liked Anthony Paul's style and way of writing , way to go Anthony , another great book soon please .
To the fans of (To sir with love) , With a crazy teacher and students waaaaay funnier.

I enjoyed this story very much , took my time in reading and absorbing every detail .

[Nova Huff · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy for free from the author in return for an honest review.
I must say that I had no idea what to expect from this book. I normally do not read this type of book, and from the get go I was a bit concerned, as I was bored at first. By the middle of the book the characters managed to come to life and the humor took over. I'm not sure I will ever look at a plunger the same way again, and I love the way they come together to form a family. By the end of the book I was laughing and picturing the situation and was sad to have it come to an end. If you want a different kind of read, this is a great book to pick up.

[Carrie Terrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was awarded this in a Goodreads giveaway for an honest review, so here goes! There is so much to learn from this book. Life deals us lemons, and for Desperation, almost constantly. She chooses to mix her lemons with a bit of alcohol, only to hide the reality of the sour taste. Not until after she has learned to love herself, her family, her friends and her life does she make lemonade, maybe with a splash of remaining alcohol. :) Toward the ending was a nnnooooo!!!, but all is well! The lessons are still there and the friendships gained are something to cherish.

[Michelle Holloway · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a different kind of book but very good. Dee has struggled her whole life. She wants to teach others at school however when the opportunity is given to someone else she decides to start her own class. She begins to teach a class of 3 misfits about how to present themselves, manners and what they should and should not do. Little does she know, her class teaches her. There is humor in this story and a lesson to be learned on how to see your inner beauty. I recommend this book...so go ahead...Take the Plunge!

[Nichole Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It took me awhile to read it but that is because it hit so close to home. I see myself in Dee. I am that cold when it comes to a lot of things, but after reading this book I want to take my plunger outside and shout, "Woman Hood". I won't though the neighbors would have me committed.
While the book has a lot of humor in it, it also has a lot of wisdom. This is a book I will recommend to anyone willing to listen to me.

[Sianee Tapp · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won this book in a competition and I'm so thankful that I did, I seem to come across the real gems this way!!
It was a beautifully written book that women can easily relate to, filled with laugh out loud moments and times I simply sat there shaking my head with a heavy heart. I gave this book 5 out of 5 because it had a bit of everything in it and I really enjoyed being a part of the book.

[Annmarie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is not the type of book that, if perusing the shelves, i'd pick up for an evenings read... However, I may have to think twice from now on. This book is hilarious and I enjoyed every minute of it.

[Ellie Red · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was pleasantly surprised! Desperation lingers was not my cup of tea because I am not into this kind of book but I liked it very very much! It was very different from what I have been reading and quite interesting! Absolutely recommend it :D

[Bethanne Sterry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I challenge anyone who reads this not to fall in love with the catastrophe that is Desperation Lingers! Be prepared to laugh, shed a tear and say omfg many times! A fantastic read! So grab your plungers and enjoy!