Konrath is that guy you meet in a seedy bar. You know him. He's the guy who bursts through the swinging doors, sweaty, out of breath, left eye squinted up in a snarly grimace, shirt buttoned to his neck, pocket protector in place, red suspenders holding up his elastic waisted geranimals, frantic he says, "Nobody move, I lost my dog and I need to finish my dissertation on the history of Burmese tentacle sex."
Thunderbird is like that. The stories are dirty and smart. Weirdly intelligent, but full of surprising characters, inciteful and insightful hilarity.
Seriously, "Hatefucking Shrimp Platters on Groundhogs Day", "Just because I'm a Pisces doesn't Mean I want to Watch You Eat a Whale Fucker Sandwich", "Bearded Women Shitting on Glass Tables is sorta my Thing". And those aren't even the best ones! Konrath expertly describes recreational drug abuse, fantastically obscure fetishes, and general fuckedupedness, with the incriminating knowledge of a juvenile delinquent. If you've ever wondered what it's like to drop acid while you're on speed, you came to the right place. If you're looking for something that will make you literally laugh out loud then look around hoping someone will ask you what you're reading, here it is. Just like the Semi-Annual Konrath Convention, you'll come for the tits, but you'll stay for the naked sock puppet magic show on ice.
Highly quotable quotes, and hilarious antics:
You can go to Chick-Fil-A, drop your pants at the counter, shove your anus in the cashier's face and they are required - this is official company policy and has been for years - to give you a free jumbo sized waffle fries and a coupon for ten percent off of a black powder rifle good at any participating Bass Pro Shop.
Draw hairy cocks on all the models in the SkyMall magazine.
...Thought her head would explode like JFK in that fucking Zoolander film.
"Lick the stump, lick the stump, lick the stump!"
"Jimi Hendrix never ate at the Olive Garden. Try wrapping your brain around that."
"You need to Luke Duke the fuck in here thru the window"
I'll have the "I wanna fuck myself nachos"
"Necco wafers are not candy motherfuckers!"
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I will leave you with this last thought, because that's the kinda guy I am motherfucker:
"Just because your parents are brother and sister doesn't mean you have to dress like a redneck tranny."
And so it goes fuckers. And so it goes.
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PRE-REVIEW:
The Kon entertains the hell outta me. He KILLS! Seriously, KILLS it! I'll write more the next time I wake up with a nasty hangover. Shouldn't be much longer. "DO NOT try to get high by shoving Dramamine up your ass. You WILL kill yourself!" And so it goes, motherfucker!
HA! KILLS!