Raising Lifelong Learners: A Parent's Guide

by Lucy Calkins, Lydia Bellino, Bellino Lydia (With)

Here the nationally acclaimed educator who transformed the way our children learn to read and write in school shows us how to nurture our children's imagination at home, from the earliest days of babytalk to the time when we see them off to school. Drawing upon her influential philosophy of active learning, as well as her personal experience as a parent, Calkins shows parents how to stimulate curiosity and spark creative thinking in children. Having an open and creative approach to conversations, chores, and games can matter just as much as reading, writing, and math. And even in traditional skills like reading and writing, we need to encourage our children to read for meaning and write for expression, rather than focus only on mechanics like phonics and spelling.By giving parents new and imaginative techniques for educating children, and by providing them with an insider's view of what goes on in the early grades, Raising Lifelong Learners creates the ultimate partnership in learning between home and school, parents and teachers.

Genres: Parenting, Education, Nonfiction, Teaching, Relationships

336 pages, Paperback

First published September 7, 1997

Reviews

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book mirrors nearly perfectly my sentiments about raising children. Some highlights:

p. 9 Conversation and sharing of stories are the foundational development of literacy. No more of this "children are to be seen and not heard" stuff.

p. 14 Shari Lewis’s book Awakening Your Child’s Natural Genius has a foreward that says youngsters who got the highest SAT scores all regularly had dinner with their parents. As Steven D. Levitt would ask, is this a cause of the high SAT scores or merely a reflection of it? I'm going with both. Eating dinner together (as long as the TV is not on) promotes conversation. People who want their kids to succeed may be more likely to eat dinner together regularly. However, you can still have meaningful conversations without the dinner.

p. 21 Here's a great anecdote about a kid who gets the entire 1st grade behind him to stand up against nasty 3rd-graders. “We’re a community.”

p. 23 Encourage kids to ask others about their experiences. “Dad will be home tomorrow. Be sure to ask him about his adventures," or "Ask your friend how it felt to win the trophy." We don't do enough of this.

p. 27 Fill-in-the-blank questions are more like quizzes and don't serve as real conversations.

p. 32 Reading aloud to kids well beyond when they are independent readers encourages life-long appreciation for life and learning. Vary the genre of books. Here I must add that I am what Judith Rich Harris (author of Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do: Parents Matter Less than You Think and Peers Matter More) would call an obsessive parent. I believe parents matter much more than most people think. Peers only matter more when parents aren't able to do the job they need to do. Peers rarely read aloud to each other, and in spite of what some people's stats show, my gut feeling and experience with kids shows that those who are read to when young are much more likely to love books when they are older.

p. 52-82 Encourage writing for a purpose with every opportunity: menus, letters, signs, etc. Don’t worry much about errors until the love of writing is well-established. We are watching this in action even as I write. But I have to add this admonition: If your child does not like to write, teach him/her to type as early as possible!!!!! Can't emphasize this enough. After my 4th grader learned to type, suddenly he was producing more material than I wanted to read (shameful admission).

p. 83-107 Encourage any connection with books—don’t point out mistakes too early. Give kids access to many different kinds of books and never limit them to only books they can read (except maybe 15 minutes a day when you sit down and have them read to you—when they are ready for this). It is common for kids to take a long time preparing to read and then suddenly become passionate about a book—suddenly they can read!

Note: This happened with my youngest in 4th grade. We struggled and struggled until one day he told me of his burning passion to read Eldest, the sequel to Eragon, which he had already listened to on library cassettes. His cub scout friends had introduced these titles to him. We took a special trip to Costco and ended up purchasing both books in a set. I was doubtful that he would ever be able to finish such a big, fat book—especially since he balked at anything thicker than a Magic Treehouse book. After many late-night readings, his reading performance seemed 2 years ahead of what it had been a month earlier.

p. 108-127 Playing is very important to developing a love of learning, and some toys encourage creativity while others do more to stifle it. (have you seen the Barbie Bling head? Aargh!) Too many structured activities and too much adult intervention in children’s play can keep them from developing and learning for themselves. However, adults should play along with children frequently and long enough to encourage their play.

p. 109-10 A 5-year-old who waits around for someone to entertain her may become a bored 10-year-old, a drifting college graduate, or a spouse who is bored and decides to go look for a new and interesting one. We need to find life wherever we are, be resourceful, and teach kids to do so.

p. 130-1 The difference between work and play should be a thin line or no line at all. People should love what they do and be excited about their work and school. “Love as well as discipline can lead [us:] to work hard.” That's why I think it's great when mindless or boring jobs are picked up by robots or other machines. Painful as it is to lose a job, in a better world we would all be able to find meaningful work.

[Vivian · Rating 4 out of 5]

My children's ages now range from 16 to 29 so you may wonder why on earth I would choose to read a book such as this. Perhaps I think of myself as a "lifelong learner". Perhaps I hope that something I did while raising my six daughters made of them "lifelong learners". I found the thoughts of the author to be very refreshing, sensible, and what is more--backed up with findings of many research studies and personal experience.

While the author was not a home-educator, nor does she mention home-education even once, her very readable suggestions offer gentle guidance to any parent, no matter what the educational preferences for their children may be.

She begins with infancy, working on to early education and then includes the middle childhood years. She addresses all the subject matter. Her chapters progress from "talk--the foundation of literacy" to "reading aloud--an apprenticeship in the literate life" to "early writing" and "early reading". She includes a wonderful chapter on "playing well". She fleshes out "helping children develop good work habits: hobbies, projects, chores, and the lessons they teach". "Reading" and "writing" in the "middle childhood years" follow. Then she walks us through math, science, and social studies.

This six appendixes written by her co-author are for the parents who are invested in public education. This section includes pro's and con's, legal rights and concerns, and selection of programs and how to have influence in district offerings.

After posting my review of this book I skimmed the reviews of others. One person said any parent with common sense would follow this course, and therefore he was disappointed. I think he mistakes "common sense" for "scripting". I must have somehow been scripted with this vein of common sense, as her suggestions were what I instinctively used. I am very grateful for the influences which my parents had in my life and their parents in theirs and so forth. Parents experience so much stress when it comes to education and their children -- they want their children to have the best possible launch in life. Often, when we act upon these fears and whatever methods that are trending the result is that families are held hostage through rigidly following workbooks, programs, and incessantly hammering away at the "ought to's". Which is precisely why this book is so important and has so much to offer.

[Appel Aja · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was interesting to me both as a teacher, and as a parent-to-be. Lucy Calkins' ideas on teaching reading and writing are well-known and respected in the field of literacy education. I refer to her books on reading and writing workshops frequently in my teaching. This particular book focused on how parents can raise children who love to learn in all subject areas. I was thrilled to hear her explaining that the key to raising lifelong learners is to simply let children become artists, scientists, readers, writers, and mathematicians. Ask your child to notice things in the world and invite your child to explain and expand his/her thinking. Let children take apart machines, immerse themselves in books of their choosing, marvel at ants building their home, create their own art, notice patterns in the world, etc. In order to raise lifelong learners parents should help their children become critical-thinkers who are curious about the world around them. Children would enjoy learning more if parents let go of the drill-and-kill worksheets, flash cards, and emphasis on fact recall instead of critical thinking.

[Teri · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was dog-earing pages of every single chapter, and making notes of things I want remember. I really agree with the author's philosophies about learning, and think it's a GREAT read for any parent concerned with the education of their children (all the parents I know).

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you read this thinking you must do everything recommended, you might easily be overwhelmed. But if you approach it as a way of seeing childhood and the kids before you, you'll come away with a number of good ideas and inspiration.

[Colleen Chi-Girl · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a teacher and parent, I have admired Lucy Calkins and was grateful to have attended one of her Readers Workshop. She has an easy writing style and although my child was 9 when I read this, there were many practical tips and aha moments. It’s probably an even better read for pregnant and or parents of little ones.

[Hanna Copeland · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book in order to find ways to encourage one of my children to become a learner. I found this book insightful. I enjoyed much of it and agree with so much of it's advice throughout. I think that parents need to read this when their kids are babies, but if it is read later it is still valuable information.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much wisdom from a top educator about how parents can make their homes a prime learning environment. Excellent and practical. I didn't agree with everything the book suggested (I'm not going to have daily writing time at home, not doing that), but I did like how the information was laid out explained. Good good parenting book.

[Karla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent resource for parents to encourage the reading and other habits that need to be established and maintained for student success

Highly recommended

[Luke · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are lots of eye-openers in this books. Helpful read for someone with kids approaching school age.

[Tanya Wadley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one I want to read again. The ideas really helped me when it came time to do Reflections... asking questions and encouraging my children in writing. Ella's poem won the Grand prize in K-2 literature (she's in Kindergarten). It will be a treasure for me to keep forever! So I'm very thankful for the inspiration that came from this book.

FYI... here are Ella's poems (Beauty being the grand prize winner):

Beauty

Beauty is grass. If you water it, it grows. I like grass because I can play and skip and jump on it.

Beauty is flowers. They had a seed and got watered, then they grow and grow and grow.

Beauty is leaves. Leaves are really, really pretty. We like them to fall down so we can make some art.

Beauty is hearts. Hearts are really, really pretty. If you don't know how to make them, you just do a “V” and two bumps.

Beauty is love. Love is really, really nice.




Lovely Stars

Beauty is lovely stars. They're pretty.

You can wish on a star. Maybe not every star. My friend Hannah saw a wishing star.

Just see, and maybe see some, some nights. They're really pretty and yellow.

You can make them any color you want if they're not in the sky.

[Oswald · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was okay. Most of the strategies pointed out by Calkins are obvious strategies that parents with common sense should be applying to their child's reading skills. I didn't like that most of her arguments were based on her own experience with her sons; I was expecting a more broad perspectives in terms of efficacy of her strategies among a number of other parents, and not just her experience. Calkins failed to offer strategies to help children learn to read by parents who do not like to read, because they do exist. Calkins automatically assumed that all adults like to read.

Quotes I liked:

"In the great drama of life, we outfit our child to look like pro soccer players and ballerinas, so why not outfit them to assume the roles of great scholars and avid readers?"

"If the bulk of your free time is spent watching other people do things, and little or no time is spent doing things yourself, it is impossible to grow smarter." - Jim Trelease

Authors to look up:

Jean Fritz - children's history books

[Laura Dugovic · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have really enjoyed this book. I skimmed some parts that weren't applicable to the ages of my two boys, but MAN the stuff that WAS applicable to them was great! I have really struggled to get Kort "into" reading, and by following some of her simple suggestions, we are having quite the turn around in our home!

Some of her suggestions were:
*Put books out in places where kids will run into them. {This one has helped Kort, but HOOKED Tennyson. He brings books to me all day long now and we read them over and over and over! It is awesome.}

*Work hard to research and find the types of books they will get sucked into.

*Make sure the book is at their reading level.

*Be excited about books WITH them. {This was huge for us. Kort and I are reading together 3-4 nights a week now and really enjoying that time.}

She also has some great tips on getting your kids excited or passionate about writing. I haven't tried them on Kort yet, but I am excited to.

A really great resource. Loved it!

[Sheri · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was helpful and honest in content and conversational in tone. Calkins shares some of her own parenting experiences as examples of how to cultivate--or accidentally discourage--a love of learning in your children. She begins with early childhood and progresses to the middle elementary years. While she dwells most on reading and writing--which makes sense, since she is a literacy expert--she also discusses developing a love of such topics as science, social studies, and math. I found her suggestions and examples to be informative, insightful, and sensible.

The appendix, written by a long-time educator whose name momentarily escapes me--provides a sort of insider's guide to school. From tips to choosing a preschool or kindergarten to an explanation of what difference curriculum does or does not make in later years, the appendices offer helpful tidbits for non-teachers to understand how schools work and to better partner with them to encourage learning.

[Trace · Rating 5 out of 5]

June 30, 2013: I still LOVE this book... took away dozens and dozens of ideas...

June 19, 2013: Rereading this book as its been a while since I last read it.....

February 2010: I LOVED this book. A treasure-chest of wonderful practical and tangible ways in which you can encourage your children to become lifelong learners. What I really liked is that the author gives very specific examples on what parents can say to facilitate the learning process. For example, intellectually I know that block play is also a learning experience - but the author actually gives examples of questions a parent might ask during block play that would take the learning experience to another level. I'm actually considering purchasing this book. I will schedule myself to borrow it once more in a few months before deciding.

[Ami · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is my humble opinion, that instead of watching that horrible movie about shaken baby syndrome after you give birth, the hospital should hand out several chapters of this book instead. The gift and love of literacy is something that should be more promoted among all families, as it has the greatest chance of creating good, profitable, and enjoyable lives for our children.
I learned so many different techniques about promoting reading and writing among my preschool age child and my older children from this book. The author does a terrific job of outlining ideas and suggestions for each age level in a non-haragueing tone and well-written manner. While not all the chapters were phenomenal, this book is definitely worth the time for parents of elementary aged children or younger. I highly encourage you to read it.

[Marilyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a wow for me. Really great, practical strategies (even the words she uses with her 2 sons and students) about how to inspire/instill in children an approach to life that includes thoughtfulness, inquisitiveness, passion, estimating, reasoning, confidence, creativity, resourcefulness, ingenuity, etc.

I've heard it said that there are 2 different camps of thought on education--in one camp it is believed that we are buckets to be filled with info. In the other camp we are intellectual flames to be fanned. This book describes in great detail the how of the "flame to be fanned" approach. I love it.

[Lesli · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a great book for parents of children from toddlers on up. I am really enjoying it as the mom of a kindergartner who is in the throes of learning so many new things this year and feel it has good practical advice on everyday activities and habits to promote learning in the home. I am realizing more than ever that it is there that we impact our children the most and it carries over into the school setting (not vice versa). HIGHLY recommended.

[Liz Susla · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an amazing guide to help you help your children to read and enjoy it for the rest of their lives. I loved some of the ideas about being creative during play. Legos in the bathtub. Who would've thought? Also, playig I spy and using the first letter of the word you are spying. I've already implemented some of her tactics especially with my emerging readers. This is a handbook I will refer frequently to while raising my daughters.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, what a great book. This is now on my "must read" list of recommended books for parents and will be given as gifts in the future. It's just a down to earth, encouraging book on how we can help our kids love learning and reading. The author's style (which probably isn't for everyone) really resonated with me.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. Really stresses the importance of talking with your children and reading to them, encouraging them to really enjoy learning. I will have to pick it up again when my daughter is 5 and again during the "middle childhood" years. Not much for preschoolers, except the author emphasizes just talk, talk, talk!

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm really enjoying this book so far...I love the suggestions she gives for encouraging your children to love reading and writing. The advice she gives on the importance of play for children (and how to best faciliate their play) is my favorite chapter so far.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would rank this along with everything I have read by David Albert as one of the most influential books on my homeschooling (even though it is not written for homeschoolers). This book is filled with great advice on how to bring a sense of wonder and curiosity to learning in the home.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is excellent. As a mom who plans to homeschool I found the author's ideas to be well-written and easy to understand. I took this out from the library, but I think I'll buy a copy. There is so much good information & some great ideas I know I'll be referring to them through the years.

[Alanna]

I was observing in a classroom and the teacher mentioned using Lucy Calkins approach to reading and writing. I had never heard of her before. I'm excited to read this book and glean insights from her.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd love for my kiddos to have a passion for learning and to love life. Gives some real-life examples of how to emphasize this when raising your kids.

[Jaimie Lea · Rating 5 out of 5]

while Lucy sometimes smacks of a snob, her down to earth recomendations are fantasticly interesting to read and I have found them helpfull.

[Chandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved getting different ideas on how to help my children love learning and reading/writing. I especially liked how she reminded me that children learn through play, not workbooks.

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I want this book on my permanent shelf--great reference!

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed it and will need to either buy it or get it from the library again in a few years - just to remind myself of what is really the important stuff.