Tu as changé ma vie...

by Abdel Sellou

Abdel ne voulait pas de cette place. Il sortait à peine de prison, n’avait aucune expérience, aucune envie de jouer les nounous, et puis les riches… Mais Philippe ne voulait que lui : les autres avaient trop de fausse pudeur, trop d’apitoiement.
Avec Abdel, aucune crainte dans ce domaine ! Chacun a donné sa chance à l’autre sans trémolos, sans même s’en apercevoir au début, dans une provocation mutuelle qui tenait d’un double défi : faire de leurs faiblesses réciproques autant de forces.
Resté particulièrement discret lors du phénomène Intouchables, Abdel Sellou nous livre ici une surprenante version de cette fabuleuse aventure, à la fois leçon de vie, voyage initiatique et balade hilarante aux instants d’émotion explosifs : une jolie claque aux idées reçues.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Disability, Autobiography, Biography Memoir, France

253 pages, Paperback

Published March 18, 2013

Reviews

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a joy to read, very insightful. Admittedly at first, I took the author's musings for excuses of certain behaviors. As the story progressed, realizing he was merely explaining to the best of his recollection. After reading the book not a wonder it made for a great movie.

[Víctor · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Tengo dos padres, dos madres, un doble negro en el cine, mujer, dos hijos, una hija... Siempre he tenido colegas, compañeros, cómplices. Puede que el señor Pozzo sea sencillamente un amigo. El primero. El único."

Hace ya algo más de diez años quedé maravillado con el dúo protagonista de la película Intouchables, a la cual termino recurriendo de forma intermitente a lo largo de mi vida.

Para mi sorpresa no sabía que Abdel Sellou había publicado este libro, unas memorias donde narra su historia, desde cómo se crío en París hasta la parte más popular, la de sus vivencias con Philippe.

Es una lectura que he disfrutado, porque Abdel no intenta justificarse ni adornar nada, es simple y llanamente su punto de vista.

Recomendable si eres súper fan del film o si te gustan esas historias políticamente incorrectas que terminan haciéndote creer un poco en la humanidad.

[Siobhan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Abdel Sellou’s The Upside is an uplifting story of unexpected friendship, and the power individuals can have upon the life of others. I’ll admit this is not my usual kind of read – I’m a sucker for crime fiction with a perchance for romance binge reads – but I was sucked in by this one.

They say real life is stranger than fiction, and this book shows how the unexpected storylines of books and movies are not always as far from the truth as we would think. We often get stuck inside of our own head, we see the world in a certain way, and this one made me look a life differently.

It is more than just a story of friendship. It shows the development of people. It shows the impact we have upon others. It shows how life can treat us in unexpected ways. It is no surprise to know this real-life story has been picked up for the big screen – it sends a wonderful message, and people will be sucked into the lives of the characters.

Without a doubt, this one is worth reading if you want a heart-warming memoir.

[Ion Bargan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cartea lui Abdel Sellou confirmă vorba „Viața bate filmul!”

O poveste incredibilă de viață ce a inspirat filmul „Intouchables”, unul din filmele mele preferate. În această carte veți descoperi viața lui Abdel Sellou de până la întâlnirea cu Philippe Pozzo di Borgo, veți înțelege cum a devenit persoana nonconformistă și lipsită de milă, anume tipul de îngrijitor de care avea nevoie Philippe.

Cartea „Tu mi-ai schimbat viața” ne demonstrează că impactul unei persoane în viața noastră poate fi foarte puternic. Vom fi la fel peste cinci sau zece ani, cu excepția oamenilor pe care îi întâlnim și cărțile pe care le citim. Probabil, ne va fi mai dificil să întâlnim persoane precum Philippe Pozzo di Borgo, însă cu siguranță lectura acestei cărți va avea un impact mare asupra ta! Lecturi frumoase!

[Loredana Mariana Bublitchi · Rating 5 out of 5]

De când am văzut că va apărea această carte mi-am spus că trebuie, neapărat, să o citesc și eu (cam așa spun cu toate cărțile, însă nu tot timpul se întâmplă, din păcate...). Am iubit filmul și l-am văzut de nenumărate ori, nu m-aș putea sătura niciodată să-l vizionez, de fiecare dată era ca și cum l-as fi văzut pentru prima oară, m-a distrat și m-a emoționat în același timp. Exact la fel a fost și cartea ”Tu mi-ai schimbat viața”, având în vedere că știam mare parte din acțiune, tot au fost detalii ce în film au fost omise...Abdel și-a relatat povestea cu o dezinvoltură ieșită din comun, într-un limbaj cât mai simplu, el fiind un om simplu și doar cu șașe clase, astfel mărturisindu-și viața și demonstrându-ne cât de mult ne poate influența o persoană gândirea și, totodată, viața.

https://bookwormsinacozycorner.home.b...

[Melody · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the movie "The Intouchables" so I hunted down the story and found this account, written by the real-life "Driss" from the movie. I was captivated by the book even more than the movie! Most notable was Sellou's matter-of-fact description of his very rebellious younger self. It was an eye-opening look into the life of a family Parisian immigrants living in poverty and the struggles of transitioning to a new country. Sellou's blunt account of growing up, mostly left to his own devices in Paris, was unlike anything I had ever read before. It was surprising, funny, and moving. His growing friendship with a prosperous paraplegic man is a heartwarming tale about how life and people grow and change as they come to terms with the beauties and heartbreak that life thrusts upon us. This book is a hidden star.

[camille · Rating 4 out of 5]

i was first introduced to the story of abdel and philippe in my french class via the movie “the intouchables.” i thought it was pretty interesting and wanted to check out the true story. similarly to the movie, i found abdel’s memoir extremely heartwarming. the book provides a better understanding of his past and also better clarifies what happened to him and philippe after the events of the movie. philippe and abdel’s friendship translates well on paper and i could tell that their friendship was 100% authentic after reading this book. it was also really interesting to hear abdel’s opinion on the movie and his cinematic portrayal. highly recommend both the movie and the book!

[Catherine Osborne · Rating 5 out of 5]

The funny thing about this book is that it took me 7 months to read the first 100 pages, and then 24 hours to read the second 100 pages to finish it. There's something about what books you read during certain seasons of life...but the past 24 hours have been so good that I had to give the book 5 stars. A beautiful story, very cleverly written. Abdel Sellou conveys the emotions that he can't find real words for in a way that you understand, though you can't find words for them either.

[Zina Manciu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nu aștepta ca lucrurile să devină mai ușoare, mai simple, mai bune.
Viața va fi întotdeauna complicată.
Învață să fii fericit în acest moment.
Altfel, vei rămâne fără timp.

Nu renunța.
Nu renunța niciodată.
Nu renunța înainte ca lupta să ia sfîrșit.

A-ți pierde autonomia fizică nu înseamnă a-ți pierde viața. Anume că persoanele cu dizabilități nu sunt animale care stîrnesc curiozitatea și pe care le putem privi insistent, fără rușine. Dar nici nu este cazul să fugim de privirea lor.

[Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Simpatica cartea, dar am crezut ca voi primi mai mult.
Nu știu de ce am avut impresia ca povestea va fi la fel ca filmul, (am văzut doar trailerul, și mi s-a părut super haios), dar în carte n-am descoperit mare lucru...
Am înțeles spre final, ca filmul ar fi un pic exagerat, de amorul artei, dar ma voi convinge după ce îl voi vedea.
Scriitura e slabuta, de aceea se citește super ușor. Nu îmi pare rău că i-am acordat o șansă, e sa zicem, o lectura de duminica după amiaza.
Ii dau 3 stele.

"Să înțeleagă morala poveștii: anume aceea că a-ți pierde autonomia fizică nu înseamnă a-ți pierde viața. Anume că persoanele cu dizabilități nu sunt animale care stârnesc curiozitatea și pe care le putem privi insistent, fără rușine."
🤩

[Cardmaker · Rating 1 out of 5]

Abdel Sellou and Philippe Pozzo di Borgo were two people marginalized by society: Sellou a wisecracking, unemployed immigrant, just out on parole; Pozzo a man born to wealth and privilege, recently paralyzed from the neck down after a paragliding accident. How they came to help each other, and the unlikely friendship that became a lifeline for them both, is an uplifting story that's now been told and retold around the world.

In this bestselling memoir, Sellou shows us the irreverent, real-life character behind Kevin Hart's smiling face. The book takes us from Sellou's childhood spent stealing candy from the local grocery store to his career as a pickpocket and scam artist, to his unexpected employment as a companion for a quadriplegic. Sellou tells his story with a stunning amount of talent, humor, style, and--though he denies that he has any--humility.

Nope, I did not like this book at all. To start, the writer isn't very good at writing. He has a style I guess, but it's not a good one. It's kind of conversational but it doesn't flow well. The part I disliked the most was that for the first half of the book, all he talks about is how great a little thief he was, running through the streets of Paris, avoiding the police and laughing about how easy they were to avoid. A chapter or two of his young life would have more than sufficed. I bought the book to read about his part as a companion to a quadriplegic. It took way too long to get to that part. I sure hope the movie tie-in is better than the book.

I do not recommend this book.

[meghann · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's interesting, reading a memoir written by someone who does not have empathy. I loved the French Film The Intouchables, so when I spotted this in my local library I had to get it. Abdel is very different from the character in the film he inspired. He grew up stealing from others, and it never occurred to him to stop and think about how that might affect them. He was not great towards his parents or brother, because he only cared about himself. Throughout the book he refers to Philippe, a tetraplegic, as a "talking puppet," "a dead body disguised as a live rich man" and will say things like "the body" instead of "his body." Philippe is a puzzle to him, and that is why he accepts the job as his caretaker. Over time Abdel develops a little bit of humanity and declares that Philippe is his first and only friend. In the earlier chapters he describes witnessing a murder or knowing that girls at a party would be gang raped, but he expresses indifference as nothing affects him. I definitely want to read Philippe's book now and find out his interpretation of Abdel.

[Ollie Skyba · Rating 4 out of 5]

Французский фильм Intouchables вышел больше десяти лет назад, а я до сих пор помню, как мы с подругой хохотали на весь дом, почти в обнимку на диване, в моей новой квартире — в моей старой жизни. Казалось даже неловким — насколько лёгким, искренне смешным и при этом жизнеутверждающим может быть фильм о человеке с инвалидностью.

Позже я смотрела и американский римейк — уже без тех чистых эмоций, но ведь это и впрямь потрясающая история, к которой хочется возвращаться. И вот теперь я прочитала книгу, написанную настоящим героем этой истории — алжирским эмигрантом, который прошёл непростой путь от жизни в криминале до полной реновации своего существования.

Он не просто ухаживал за человеком, нуждавшимся в помощи, — он стал для него другом. И сам, похоже, тоже нуждался в этом. Стали ли они спасением друг для друга? Возможно. Но точно можно сказать одно — такая дружба не валяется под ногами.

[Jessi · Rating 3 out of 5]

A heartwarming memoir about an unlikely friendship and how it has the power to change us. How a chance encounter can ultimately change your attitude and outlook on life. The Upside was open and honest. It didn’t shy away from the truth — the good, the bad, or the ugly. I enjoyed reading about the character growth of Abdel as well as the deeper connection between the two characters from before and after their paths crossed. Overall, I found this to be a decent read. I’m not sure what exactly it was I was hoping for, but I wanted more. I enjoyed the story line and message obviously, but I think at times the voice fell flat. I look forward to the adaptation releasing this March! I have a feeling it will be a strong reflection of Abdel’s story and one that won’t let you quickly forget it.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

A-ți pierde autonomia fizică nu înseamnă a-ți pierde viața.
Persoanele cu dizabilități nu sunt animale care stârnesc curiozitatea și pe care le putem privi insistent.Dar nici nu este cazul să fugim de privirea lor.

[Helynne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This brief, boldly honest memoir did not inspire the French-language film upon which it is based, Les Intouchables. Instead, the film about French-Algerian roustabout Abdel Sellou and his years of caring for the wealthy quadriplegic Parisian Philippe Pozzo di Borgo finally inspired Sellou to begin talking about his own life—before, during, and after his service as a full-time caretaker or “life assistant” to Pozzo. (Before the 2012 film came out, Pozzo had written his own memoirs about life with this very unusual choice of caretaker, but Sellou had been very tight-lipped, refusing interviews, and preferring not to reveal anything about his life). This candid look backward on his adventures in Paris and his current life in his native Algeria finally gives those of us who loved the film a more accurate view of this ebullient man who was “given away” by his parents in Algiers to his childless aunt and uncle in Paris, lived years as a juvenile delinquent and petty criminal, spent time in jail, and was finally shown a more promising side of life by a rich, but totally dependent accident victim. Although I found the details of Sellou’s earlier criminal life interesting—lots of thievery, dishonest business dealings, but nothing to do with drugs, guns, or violence—I enjoyed much more reading of his life with Pozzo, who since a hang-gliding accident, needed an employee (and friend) full time to take charge of his daily personal needs such as hygiene, dressing, lifting from bed to chair to car, etc., Sellou’s title You Changed My Life is accurate indeed since his association with Pozzo set him on an honest path in life and the development of a better sense of values. However, he certainly changed Pozzo’s life as well through his mischievous sense of adventure. For example, he loved to drive the unsuspecting paralyzed man through Paris way too fast in expensive sports cars he had persuaded his employer to buy, and insisted on taking Pozzo on trips to southern France and Corisca, which always ended up a comedy of errors. Through it all, Pozzo remained serene and philosophical about his limitations, and Sellou remained fearless. Of course, the two ended up close and dear friends. ”I really believe I loved this man, as simple as that,” says the author, “and that he returned the affection just as naturally. But I’d rather die in a paragliding accident than admit it” (151). Sellou and Pozzo are played in Les Intouchables , respectively, by Omar Sy and François Cluzet. Sellou admits his appearance is nothing like the tall, handsome African-French actor Omar Sy, who plays him in the film. (Sellou is now 40-ish and pudgy. Sy is 30-ish, tall, slender, muscular, and HOT!) The screenwriters changed the Sellou character’s name to Driss and his ethnicity to Sénégalais, but kept the basic background and personality. Sy brings a very accurate interpretation to the role, which in all aspects except physical appearance, Sellou approves.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have not seen the documentary or the movie that have recounted some of Abdel Sellou's activities, however I didn't need to, reading The Upside was complete in itself. Although if I got the opportunity to ever view the other media I would.

I couldn't help but become fascinated by Abdel Sellou's story. It would seem the world came to know him first as an aide to wealthy Phillippe Pozzo di Borgio - a tetraplegic. They are well suited to each other. Abel Sellou is irreverent, fun-loving and sure to shake up the household. He arrived in France when he was four, given to an uncle and aunt as is often the custom in Algeria.

He tells his story of those days - of how he learned to live on the streets, steal and break laws until the age of eighteen when he can be held responsible for his actions. And so he has a little stint in jail. If there is one word that describes this character for me - it is resilient. He may have escaped a formal education by mainly just not turning up, but in many other ways he was smart.

His childhood underlined for me what happens when a child has no boundaries and is allowed to do what he likes. His new parents loved him, but didn't know how to raise him, he raised himself.

However his friendship with Phillippe Pozzo di Borgio gradually educates and grows Abel Sellou. While this man is more in the background in the memoir, he himself is very inspiring. What abides with me as I finish the book is the power of a deep friendship that enriches two lives.

This memoir was well worth the read.

[Nadezda Kolokolova · Rating 5 out of 5]

Прочитала эту книгу сразу, как только она вышла. Рада, что посмотрела фильм раньше, потому что эта история настолько сурова и трагична, что к ней надо морально подготовиться. Взгляд Абделя Селлу на свою жизнь потряс меня до глубины души, насколько же тяжело быть эмигрантом. А еще тяжелее, когда ты не можешь найти себя в этом мире и начинаешь пробовать все запретное в надежде наконец встретить свою мечту и поймать удачу за хвост. В данном случае той удачей для Абделя выступил Филипп Поццо Ди Борго, который точно также, как и Абдель нуждался в поиске себя и своей мечты. Эти двое нашли друг друга и спасли таким образом жизни. Замечательная история, суровая, с долей иронии, взлетами и падениями, но такая знакомая всем нам, ведь никто не рождается идеальным, здоровым, счастливым и состоятельным. Как говорится, не боги горшки обжигают! 5 из 5 звезд этой книге за открытость и естественность!

[Marlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

Originally published at Reading Reality

The original title of this book was You Changed My Life, and that’s probably a more accurate description of the contents than the new title. The ways of marketing are clearly mysterious to behold.

No matter what the title, this book is kind of a cross between a buddy-movie and a bromance. It’s already been a movie, The Intouchables, filmed in France where the real story takes place. And it will be again – the American version is titled The Upside and seems to have been filmed in 2017, although I’m not sure it was ever in theaters. Considering that the movie was supposed to have come out in October of 2017 as the Harvey Weinstein scandal was breaking, and that the movie was produced by his company and the new edition of the book was supposed to be published by his publishing company, it’s not really a surprise that things got a bit, let’s call it delayed.

However, the story existed long before either the movie or the scandal. But this true story was originally told by only one of the partners in this bromance. This version, the one that I read, is told by the other. And it isn’t quite as fictionalized as the original movie seems to have been.

Not that the author doesn’t tell plenty of stories on himself, because he certainly does. And he is not the most reliable narrator, not even of his own life. Perhaps especially of his own life.

In 1993, French businessman (and noble) Philippe Pozzo di Borgo was severely injured in a paragliding accident, becoming a quadriplegic. In 1995 he hired Abdel Sellou, the author of this book, as his “life auxiliary” or caregiver.

Sellou was an Algerian immigrant to France, having been given by his Algerian parents to his aunt and uncle in Paris when he was a child. A child who was young enough to adapt but old enough to remember where he came from. And he was given to people who had never been parents and seem to have no idea of how to be parents. Or perhaps its that Abdel had no idea that rules or limits ever applied to him.

By his own account, Sellou grew up fairly wild on the streets of Paris, becoming a thief and a con artist. He saw himself as the king of his little corner of the world, and felt like nothing could stop him, not even jail. As he was always a completely nonviolent offender, jail mostly seemed like a bit of a vacation. The rules never applied to him.

He met “Pozzo” when he was basically scamming the unemployment office. He came to pretend to apply for that job as Pozzo’s life auxiliary. He ended up staying for over ten years in a job he never expected to take, and remained as Pozzo’s unpaid caregiver thereafter.

All of Pozzo’s rich friends were certain that the conman was there to take Pozzo for a ride, and bilk him out of all the money he could manage to scam. It never happened.

Instead, they formed an unlikely but life altering and life sustaining friendship. This is the story of that friendship from Sellou’s point of view (as Pozzo has already told his version of the story in A Second Wind)

Reality Rating B: The Upside, by whatever title, is a surprisingly quick read. It’s also not a very deep one, because the author skims over the surface of his life, and never seems willing to dive deeply into his thoughts or feelings.

The story that we’re left with is still interesting. Sellou seems to have grown up without a care in the world, or perhaps a better way of describing it would be not caring much about the world or anyone else in it.

It’s also clear that this story couldn’t be told until the statute of limitations had run out on his youthful crime spree, which seems to have lasted into his 20s. Mostly Sellou was a thief and even a bit of a shakedown artist. He was also a successful small-time conman. His goal never seems to have been to get rich, just to get enough to last until the next day. He saw the world as free for the taking, and if he got caught, well, jail seems to have been mostly a vacation.

There have to have been darker parts to this part of the story, but the author never dwells on them. He seems to be a character who always looks on the bright side, and does not worry much if at all about tomorrow.

Going to work for Pozzo was a life-altering event for both of them. Sellou’s ability to always find a bright side seems to have been just what Pozzo needed to keep him going. It’s not that Sellou wasn’t all-too-well acquainted with everything that did not work in Pozzo’s paralyzed body. It’s that Sellou never seems to have let it stop him from pushing whatever boundaries could be pushed so that Pozzo was able to get outside of himself as much as possible, which turned out to often be a surprising amount.

It’s also obvious from the story that the two men moved relatively quickly from an employer-employee relationship to a friendship to a partnership – even if most of Pozzo’s family and friends never fully come to trust Sellou even after years of being there for Pozzo at every hour of the day and night.

That Sellou seems to feel no bitterness at that lack of distrust is surprising. Or it may be part of his ability to always see the sunnier side of every situation, even the terrible ones.

I find myself wondering how some aspects of the story that seem particularly French are going to translate to American audiences. Perhaps I’ll find out if the movie ever shows up on Netflix.

[Iseult Murphy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting insight

As a companion piece to Philippe Pozzo’s memoir, Second Wind, this is fascinating but I don’t think there’s enough meat in Abdel’s memoir bones to stand in its own.
His upbringing is interesting to read about. He’s very honest about how he looked on life as everything was his for the taking.
I’m glad that he’s turned his life around and seems to be giving his children the parenting he needed but never got.

[Антонія · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ви точно бачили фільм 1+1.
А ця книга - як усе було насправді, написана від першої особи.

Зворушлива і смішна історія.
Дружба цих двох триває й досі.
Але як вони притиралися одне до одного - це щось.

[Heba Bakr · Rating 3 out of 5]

alla är sårbara. ett ögonblick kan förändra ens liv helt. var snälla mot varandra. hjälp varandra. livet går vidare och allting kommer att bli bra

[Melinda Flaugher · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was expecting more from the book. Can not wait for the movie to come out. The story is a nice read for an airplane or short train ride.

[Joy Carrington · Rating 4 out of 5]

An inspiring memoir about an unusual alliance between two men who couldn't possibly have been any more different than each other. But they enriched each other in the ways that endure.

[PETRONELA ATOMEI · Rating 5 out of 5]

Am citit.o pe nerasuflate.
Este povestea de viata a copilului Abdel care de copil a fost lasat impreuna cu un frate in grija unchiului si a matusii.
Astfel el pareseste Algeria, tara in care s.a nascut si ajunge in Franta tara unde va locui toata viata.
Ca o forma de revolta, simtindu.se abandonat de parinti ajunge sa fure de prin ghiozdanele colegilor, de prin magazine de peste tot.
Dupa ce implineste varsta de 18 ani este arestat pentru 18 luni, 10 cu executare.
Dupa cele 10 luni ajunge sa fie personal auxiliar pentru un conte care a ramas paralizat in urma unui accident.
Astfel Pazzo are puterea de a.l schimba de Abdel: se gandeste sa aiba propria afacere, se casatoreste, va avea copiii si in final se va duce sa.si vada adevaratii parinti.
O carte GENIALA....MERITA CITITA!!

[Luka · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rating: 3.5

'Ethics are your ethics and action is your action. It’s inside of you, in your inwardness, in your mystery, in its silence that you’ll find the Other and the ground of your morals.'

'To understand the moral of the story: that losing your physical autonomy isn’t losing your life. That handicaps aren’t strange animals that we can stare at without blushing, that there’s no reason to avoid their gaze either.'

[Iuliana · Rating 3 out of 5]

O lectură plăcută și amuzantă, fără mari pretenții scriitoricești.
I-am dat doar 3 steluțe pentru că saltul de la trecut la prezent a fost prea mare și multe lucruri au rămas neexplicate.
De asemenea au fost multe referiri la film, pe care eu nu l-am văzut, deci nu prea le-am înțeles...ceea ce a fost ușor incorect. Finalul e abrupt, cartea parcă a rămas neterminată.

[Merry Greene · Rating 4 out of 5]

Engaging story of two very different people who establish a relationship. I wish there had been more character development, but I think that was the point...the main character was not able to be empathetic.

[Ayny · Rating 2 out of 5]

nope
will watch movie instead. as recommended by other readers. perhaps it is the translation, but could not finish.

[Sandra Robinson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Do yourself a favour and watch the French movie 'The Intouchables" 2011 instead. The movie is fabulous.