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DangerRAMA

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Ladies and gentleworms, gargoyles and girls – do you have the mettle to step up and peer into the mouth of mayhem, incongruity, shock and perversion? A trio of taint-tingling tales await you between these covers. Your taint will tingle. On your taint. The taint is that area between your balls and asshole, in case you didn’t know. Is it tingling yet? Good. Now let these three twisted novellas forever change your pathetic little life:


KNIGHTS OF THE WHITE CASTLE – An inter-dimensional tale of hamburgers, hubris and science gone mad!

SOMNAMBULANT – Terrorists, movie stars, and blue whales converge in this story about a dude who’s really just trying to get a good night’s sleep.

ME & ME & ME & ME & ME & ME & ME & ME – A computer malfunction sends a lone astronaut spiraling across the cosmos. Will he save mankind or just masturbate a lot?

170 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2013

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643 people want to read

About the author

Danger Slater

37 books732 followers
Wonderland Award winning author Danger Slater is the world’s most flammable writer! He likes to use a lot of exclamation points!

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
Profile Image for karen.
4,012 reviews172k followers
May 24, 2020
did you ever wonder what a "danger slater" looks like??? it looks like this:

 photo DSC09731_zps4e3482a6.jpg

BIRTHDAY REVIEW - WOOHAAAA!!!!!



there are three novellas in this book. what is a novella to you? is it a lazy novel?? is it a short story that won't shut the fuck up?? is it a way to pad your progress in your self-imposed goodreads annual reading challenge? this book is all of the above, and more!! (although publishing three in one volume didn't really give me too too much padding, but still - i am one step closer!)

there are three novellas in this book, and i loved two of them. which is not to say i didn't like the third one, but it did not make me laugh as much as the first two.

danger slater is a madman, in the "he writes weird shit that makes you laugh and is bizarro without being nonsensical" way and not the "he will make you put the lotion in the basket" way. NOTE: i do not have any proof about the lotion statement - he may very well also do that, but i can definitely vouch for the first part.

because while i want to be a person who loves the bizarro-lit, so frequently i am reminded that i am just not. i am not easily offended or grossed out, but i'm so bored when i am assaulted with shock value imagery if there is no reason for it other than that adolescent impulse to try to offend. i'm an old lady - i have seen a lot of shit - you're not going to shock me with your stories about corpsefucking or splatter-violence. make it mean something or move on.

and danger slater manages to make his shit mean something. and, yes, it does feature rapping dinosaurs and decapitations and people turning into animals and giant nude peeing statues and amputations and will smith with penises in place of his hands and time travel and other trademarked elements of bizarro lit, but the only truly offensive thing is the rudeness and condescension of a character towards a woman working at white castle. i abhor rudeness.

if you were wondering, AND YOU WERE, my favorite novella was somnambulant because it used the fractured-narrative/confused narrator style so perfectly and all the little ducks lined up at the end which impressed me and it was funny and surreal but still managed to have a message. really good stuff there.

knights of the white castle was definitely the funniest, though. it was a great way to open the collection. a really fun romp with both dinosaurs and dragons.



the one i was not crazy about was me & me & me & me & me & me & me & me. and not just because that was a pain to type out. the synopsis is amusing: A computer malfunction sends a lone astronaut spiraling across the cosmos. Will he save mankind or just masturbate a lot? but it was the most sci-fi-y of the stories, and it just wasn't my thing.

but two out of three is a pretty impressive win, and to answer the PM i got after i rated this about whether it was an "honest" 4 stars, yes. yes, it certainly was.

come to my blog!
Profile Image for Arthur Graham.
Author 80 books690 followers
September 18, 2014
If you want to read a review that actually explains what this book is about, go read this one. Then again, if you don't have time for a goddamned dissertation on the matter, and you'd rather have ol' Arthur Graham here simply tell you whether or not you'll like this book, please feel free to utilize the perfectly unbiased, completely scientific ratings rubric below.

It's easy. Here's you saying "I gave Danger Slater's last book, Love Me...

...5 stars." (Sexual equivalent: I want you inside me, right now)

Go buy DangerRAMA this very instant. It has all the wacktardedness and savoir-faire that made you fall in love with Love Me, times nine and divided into three tight little packages.

...4 stars." (Sexual equivalent: Ass to mouth, why not)

You really dug the bizarro elements of Love Me (the crocoweilers, the talking moon, the Jesus-Christ-in-a-thong), but they got in the way of the story at points. Good news — DangerRAMA has even more bizarro to offer (hiphoposaurs, anthropomorphic fingers, Will-Smith-with-cock-hands) and not one but THREE separate novellas that are about as focused as they come.

...3 stars." (Sexual equivalent: One-night stand, no regrets)

You're clearly on the fence when it comes to Danger's writing. You "liked" Love Me, but some part of you stubbornly refused to "love" Love Me. In that case, you can think of DangerRAMA as Love Me's younger, sexier brother/sister, and even if you don't ultimately love it (no demands or expectations this time, baby), you'll at least wanna screw it silly for a few hours before moving on to an even younger, sexier book.

...2 stars." (Sexual equivalent: Actually, I kinda regret blowing you)

I'm betting that you didn't like the loose structure of Love Me, let alone all the randomness and poo-poo. Well, you're in luck — Danger has returned with wine and roses, he's forgiven you for spurning him before, and he's down on his knees begging for another chance (go buy DangerRAMA now).

...1 star." (Sexual equivalent: Ewww, don't touch me)

I'm sorry, but I can't help you. Still, you should probably go buy DangerRAMA.

...I never read Love Me -- please don't hate me!" (Sexual equivalent: Might be interested)

That's alright. Go read Love Me for a more straight-up bizarro, and read DangerRAMA for a bizarro that's still bizarro as fuck, but would probably appeal to a much broader audience as well.

So, there you have it. I'm gonna go re-read both Love Me and DangerRAMA now, and then I'm either gonna take the phone off the hook or I'm gonna take a cold shower. The rest I'll leave to your imagination...

More from Danger Slater:

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122 reviews108 followers
August 25, 2015
OH MY GOD! LOOK WHAT I GOT IN THE MAIL TODAY!!!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! This is the BEST present I've received since the Perfect Pancake Maker in 2005!

Sincerely, your #4 fan!
f

_______________________

There is no safe-word for Danger Slater. Danger IS the safe-word. He will bathe you in bathos, soap you up with the sublime, and dry you off with the dramatic. He is funny as hell, and he writes with thoughtful purpose. He will shock you with his depth and he will surprise you with his sincerity. These stories are so completely entertaining Mr. Slater doesn’t even need to show you his penis.

The stories in Dangerama are a blend of sci-fi time warp adventure, with explosive somnambulant gay-Will-Smith action, and far out finger fucking philosophy. The first two stories are fun and action packed and they will take you on adventures, will blow you away, and will bring you safely back to your comfy little reality. The third story starts off so slowly I almost didn’t give it a chance. I’m glad I did because it is definitely my favorite, and it wraps the threads of the three stories up nice and neat, and it leaves you feeling safe.

KNIGHTS OF THE WHITE CASTLE

Dr. Phineus Dracon is hungry. Of course he is. He’s been working on perfecting a polydimensional time-travel musheen. And, great genius requires great fuel.

“I don’t see anything humorous about randomly running into one of your former middle school teachers eating a ludicrous amount of White Castle hamburgers at one in the morning on a Tuesday.”
DrDracon
“Well you know what I think? I think YOUR DAD CAN GO DROWN HIMSELF IN A SWIMMING POOL FULL OF DICKS!”

Eartha appears to be growing exponentially now […]. The others are looking to me for some sort of scientific explanation. All I can come up with is that she’s somehow fatassifying, which I’m almost certain isn’t a real thing.
EARTHA

“The boy you gave straight Cs to is now the king! The King of Hamburg!”
“The Burger King!” Sir Jonas sneers.
“Lance, have you lost your mind?” Miss Sally screams.
“Perhaps,” the Burger King goes, “being omnipotent tends to do that to a person.”
“Did he juss call that fool the ‘Burger King’?”
White Castle Gang

“Holy Shit! Homeboy can breathe FIRE!”
Dracon
“Alas, Good King, how my hunger grows! “
“I assume you want the usual? … Fetch me 47 Hamburgers and a side of French guys.”


SOMNAMBULANT

“No good conversation begins with the words, “I’m not who you think I am…”
Dillan

“Mr. Smith, the way you ‘came out’[…]hiring skywriters to spell out I <3 PENIS You’re like the Mahatma Gandhi of gaylords.”
“I’m tellin’ you Tommy, it was like the Fountain at St. Peter’s Square in my drawers that night. Except with cum. I knew right then that Dylan and I were destined to be together. Forever.”
Will

“What’s going on is we are away running from cops because you are one crazy-ass fucker of mothers”
Asbjorn

I […] am greeted by the jaundiced and tortured face of an asexual piece of human macaroni, forever immortalized in his infamous and everlasting final moment of terror. The sanguine sky reflected like hellfire upon orange waters. Alone on the planks of a dilapidated bridge, the man figure wails.
“We stole The Scream????”
“This is news to you?”
Scream

“We are now Ultimate American Ass-Kicking Machine of Doom!”
“Kimsama Bin-Jungsein.”
Three

The massive penis monster slowly snakes toward me, twisting deftly down the aisle like a herpetic ball of python. Osama, Kim, and Saddam are all laughing like the trio of comic book villains they are – BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! – as Moa thee Dong gnashes his purple peehole and lunges at me like a rattlesnake about to strike. DO NOT view this spoiler unless you want to see a penis.

Me&Me&Me&Me&Me

I’m not fucking this vacuum cleaner out of any sort of physical or psychological attraction to it. That’d be weird. […] I’m sure a fair number of you have still tried to bang some random hole in some random appliance. I’m sure that as long as holes in things have existed, people out there have been trying to have sex with them.
Almond

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up. It’s all good, brother. Just think of it this way: if you were a nine-year-old, six-foot-tall finger composed entirely out of your own DNA as well, then we’d practically be twinsies!”
“Is this really happening?” I ask, my voice wavering a bit with both trepidation and excitement. Finger just smiles as he slips my unsheathed penis into one of this rotten wound holes.
Finger
I place my hand on Finger’s chest and another on my own. “It’s our hearts that make us human. Everything else is just…a coat of paint.”

“Brain is gonna figure out what to do and how to get us the hell outta here. […] Ain’t ya, Brain?”
“Aren’t you,” Brain corrects him. “Your grammar is atrocious.”
“Gimme a break, dude – I’m a giant finger.”
Brain
The hands want what Brain wants, what Finger wants, what I want – what is so quintessentially human yet so hard to define – a chance to dream. A chance to hope.

DANGER
The End

Because sometimes, Danger is the safest word you can think of.
Profile Image for Douglas Hackle.
Author 22 books264 followers
June 29, 2013
***It's difficult to discuss a book in any sort of meaningful fashion without being at least a little spoilery. So consider this your SPOILER ALERT, though I did attempt not to give too much away in the review.

Spoilery. Is that a word?***

DangerRAMA is a collection of three novellas, each with strong science fiction elements. These stories take issue with the Big Questions of existence and the human condition—What is the point of it all? Why are we here? Where are we going? What does it mean to be human, etc.? But the philosophizing is inseparably fused with Slater’s signature bizarro-slapstick style of ingenious wordplay, outrageous humor, and on-target satire. This stuff reads like Kurt Vonnegut meets Douglas Adams meets Tom Robbins meets Carlton Mellick III. Something like that.

In the first novella, "Knights of the Whitecastle," Dr. Phineus Dracon is a pompous, bombastic, recently fired, middle school science teacher who succeeds in building a time machine so that he may escape the “boorishness and fuckwittery of our hapless modern culture.” It’s the classic archetypal tale of science gone wrong as a consequence of misdirected and excessive human ambition. Yes, you’ve seen this story before, folks. But when I say science goes wrong in "Knights of the Whitecastle," I mean it goes really (and hilariously) fucking wrong. Specifically, a malfunction in the time machine and a resulting breach in the space-time continuum create a new protean state of reality where all possibilities collide to form various incongruities, disparities, and anachronisms—things like dinosaurs engaging in freestyle rap wars (hip-hopsaurs), pigs growing from trees like bananas (pignanas), and park bench make-out/handjob sessions between Adolf Hitler and Abraham Lincoln, to name a few of these inanities. Think Michael Crichton’s Timeline meets Dr. Seuss’s Wacky Wednesday meets, oh, I don’t know...Danger Slater smoking crack in a Burger King bathroom somewhere in New Jersey with, um, rapping dinosaurs??

In the second novella, "Somnambulant," we meet one Dylan Spotter, who, were it not for his chronic somnambulance, would be your average 30-year-old everyman. Problem is Dylan doesn’t merely walk in his sleep. Nay, he does all sorts of things in his sleep—basically anything his sleeping self fancies. Thus Dylan frequently wakes up to find himself in unusual places and sometimes life-threatening situations caused by his more adventurous, capricious, and dangerous “sleepwalking” self. On one level, this novella is an absurd comedy-adventure story complete with a homosexual Will Smith, a Jonah-like escape from the GI tract of a whale, an art heist of Edvard Munch’s The Scream, and a diabolical terrorist plot orchestrated by a three-headed Superterroist (well, actually four heads if you count the … hey, wait—I don’t want to give away too much here!) But there’s more to "Somnambulant" than just the brilliantly zany story on the surface. This novella digs deep, exploring the idea of somnambulance as a metaphor for the complacency of modern life while our hero deals with issues of self-identity, the need to control reality, and the inherent (apparent?) disconnect between all humans.

In the final novella of the collection, "ME & ME & ME & ME & ME & ME & ME & ME," the people of an overcrowded, dying Earth send astronaut Abner Almond into space to deliver a quantum teleportation device to a distant inhabitable planet in order to save the human race by ushering in a new era of interstellar colonization. But a malfunction occurs along the way, communications are severed between Abner’s one-man spaceship and mission control, and the ship veers far off course from its intended destination. Now this may sound like your traditional sci-fi fare here and a little on the serious side to boot, but ridiculous humor gets injected early on in the story in the form of a televised interview between Abner and a douchebag news anchor named Chip Branson. However, the true Slaterian/Dangerian antics begin in earnest when Abner uses his ship’s ‘refabricator’ to bring his severed finger back to life Frankenstein style. What follows is a love story between Abner and his reanimated finger, a power struggle between Abner and a monstrous version of his own brain, and a journey through time and space back to the Big Bang. "ME & ME" mixes screwball sci-fi with an exploration of serious existential, psychological, and cosmological themes, and is thus similar to "Somnambulant" in that respect.

In summary, five stars for DangerRAMA. My only criticism of the book--and it's a small nitpicky criticism at that--is that the phrases "Om Nom Gangnam Style!" and "D is for muthafuckin' Douglas!" are nowhere to be found in the text. But nobody's perfect, not even Danger Slater.
Profile Image for Kris Lugosi.
138 reviews27 followers
December 28, 2015
Every human should read this book. Or anything that ever once was human. Or any sentient amputated body part....

Slater has written three novellas that touch on what it means to be human in a universe so vast our existence is but a minuscule part of the plan yet integral to the big picture without being integral at all. Each story will make you think and question the existence and the why and how we came to be and all that we can be. All incredibly written and executed.each book is like a modern bizarro chapter from the book Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre. A light read with a heavy delivery Danger Slater has a lot to say and again, every human should read this book.

KNIGHTS OF THE WHITE CASTLE: Add one part inter-dimensional travel, with three parts pompous mad scientist what ensues is a hilarious journey into the past present future...and metamorphosis of the human race. When a crazy old coot of a scientist discovers time travel he and the rest of the patrons of a close by White Castle are visited by a Knight in shining armor and it is up to them to keep things aligned.

SOMNAMBULANT: Imagine waking up and not knowing where you are. Not just once....but a lot. Dylan is afflicted with this rare sleep disorder and it finds him in rather life threatening situations he can not recall getting himself into while in his somnambulant state. The story is told through different time periods of Dylan's life where his sleep affliction has had the most impact on him and wraps around with a final statement, "The best we can do is let the little monster dream."

ME&ME&ME&ME&ME&ME&ME&ME: This was my favorite story in the whole book. One human conditioned to solitary confinement is sent into space to save man kind. When something goes wrong the astronaut spirals into space with nothing more than his thoughts and his severed finger.....The author does a great job of showing Abner's strength to hold onto his sanity when spending years in solitary confinement and the existentialist ideas that form are eloquently stated.

I loved this book. Everything about it. I have read the short story of Danger Slater entitled 'The Apple of My iPhone' and it was one of my favorites. After reading this collection of his, Slater is quickly becoming one of my favorite bizarro authors!
Profile Image for Shamus McCarty.
Author 1 book82 followers
July 7, 2013
Man, this is a hard one to review. Mostly because I read it about a month ago, but also because it’s three books in one. Not three short stories, three books that could be published as standalone novellas. At least in the world of Bizarro Fiction they could be. Bizarro books tend to be on the shorter side.

Danger is an incredibly witty guy. I found myself chuckling through the whole read. But that’s not what makes this a great book. As he’s throwing these clever little jokes at you left and right, he’s also mixing in some beautiful poetry. Lines like:

“She yawns and settles even deeper into the sheets. I’m agape, overwhelmed, hypnotized by the contours of her body. Her cheekbones, her breasts, her elbows, her hips. Like a mountain range her body shapes the landscape of the bed. I imagine myself a miniature man, lost in her topography. Navigating her valleys. Traversing her hills. Exploring her caverns.”

And then he’ll totally switch it up on you and slap you with some:

“All the lights have been dimmed or broken and the entire room is bathed in the red glow of The Pod’s emergency light system. Like fire. Or blood. Like how a fetus must feel in its mother’s belly.”

The book is FULL of this stuff. I mean Jesus Christ that’s how he describes a room with a red light in it.

And if that’s not enough, Danger actually tells some really touching, and engaging stories. I found myself caring about the characters, getting mad at the villains…

Anyways, I’ll stop here before everybody starts thinking I’m gay for Danger.

Read it. 5 effing stars.
Profile Image for Shawn Misener.
93 reviews10 followers
December 17, 2013
These three short novellas are nothing short of pure wackiness. Now, the bizarro writers have a thing going, and a good thing at that, but I'd hesitate to label this book bizarro, and instead posit a new genre: whacko science fiction. Imagine if the writers for classic Looney Tunes took acid while reading Robert Sheckley on the toilet. In fact, the first novella, "Knights of the White Castle", finds its closest kin in Sheckley's "Dimension of Miracles." Anything that Slater can imagine happens, from dinosaurs engaged in a rap battle, to trees and buildings made of pork, to a woman growing to the size of a planet, which eventually becomes inhabited. Great stuff.

I recommend this collection highly if you want Tom Robbins to take it even farther, yet lay off the shamanistic philosophy, if you want PK Dick to just relax and have fun, or if you want Ignatious Reilly to build a time machine and watch it all go haywire.

There were even some rare tender moments, showing us that Slater indeed has a heart to go along with his rabid testicular brain. I even wished there were a few more moments of heart, because at times the absolute nuttiness of these works hide the fact that these are characters, and characters often have tender feelings and not just insane responses to insane scenarios. Maybe next time, Danger?

A fantastic book by a mega-talented writer whose Imagination takes a back seat to no one.
Profile Image for Donald Armfield.
Author 67 books176 followers
January 19, 2014
Danger, Roy Robinson, Danger!

Do you like Sy-fi? Out of this world absurd literature? If you answer yes, then grab your time machines, and spaceships for the ride for life through the mind of the blues of bizarro Danger Slater.

The first of three novellas Knights of White Caste is a time machine goes wrong tale a laughable read but a little dull for me.

Now Somnambulant on the hand is crazy funny. A sleepy disorder of WTF moments. The "Will Smith" we all know makes an odd appearance, that will guarantee smack you in the face with laughter.

The last of the three Me&...... Is a man lost in space that gives "Finger Fucking" a whole new meaning. One small step for man. One huge laugh brought to you by Danger Rama.
Profile Image for Matthew Vaughn.
Author 93 books191 followers
January 20, 2014
Like I’ve said about a lot of authors I’ve reviewed, Danger Slater is a name I knew but hadn’t read anything by him. I came across a post of his mentioning he had some copies of his book Danger Rama and that he was willing to give them out for reviews. I get a lot of books in E files to review, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but it was pretty awesome to get a physical copy complete with a personalized signature.

Danger Rama is three separate novellas in one book. Like most books I read I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I like to just jump in blind be surprised, and usually it’s a pleasant experience. This time was no different. Starting out with The Knights of White Castle it’s immediately noticeable that Danger Slater is a funny guy. From the ghetto talking chick behind the counter to the high school kid’s that come in to eat White Castles, Slater has a good grasp of realistic dialogue. This is a story about a fired middle school science professor that builds a time machine and things do not work out as expected. Funny thing is the entire time I was reading this I kept picturing the professor as Dr. Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb.

The second story, Somonbulant, is my favorite of the three. The main character Dylan keeps waking up to find himself in wild and crazy situations. He is a sleep walker, and while he’s asleep he lives out a life that is extreme and completely unlike his awake self. We are with a confused Dylan every time he wakes and tries to understand what is happening to him. It’s written in a way that we get pieces of a puzzle every time he wakes up until it all comes together. This one has some pretty interesting takes on some real life personalities.

The final story, Me & Me & Me & Me & Me & Me & Me & Me, is a cool sci-fi story about a guy named Abner moving along through space, completely alone. Abner was sent out in search of a new planet to inhabit since earth is pretty much toast. After a malfunction breaks his communications with earth, Abner is left with just his thoughts and his vacuum. But fear not, cause after that it gets weird, but also deep.

All three of these stories have elements of science fiction. But with characters like rapping dinosaurs and a humanized finger they are definitely Bizarro. Danger Slater is an author to keep an eye on, with as impressive as this book is his future works should be pretty awesome.
Profile Image for David.
Author 12 books148 followers
July 14, 2013
Luckily for us, there are some pretty f*&$ed up things bubbling around in Danger Slater's mind. Even better for us, he gets them all down on the page in these three novellas. I think he actually hits the mark with these better than he did in "Love Me," and I thought he did a pretty good job in that book. He manages to always keep the story humorous, imaginative, and intensely interesting. Seriously, this is some fun stuff.
Profile Image for Rodney.
Author 5 books72 followers
November 10, 2015
Like "Love Me", I thought that this was excellent. All three stories were top notch. I cannot pick a favorite because all of them qualify. Slater's style is one that I really enjoy. In describing the stories, there are so many words I could use: funny, thought-provoking, meaningful, twisted, classic, clever. Yet, somehow this is not really accomplishing what I want it to. I think I will just stop here, and leave it as a great book that you should read.
Profile Image for Chris Rhatigan.
Author 32 books36 followers
August 17, 2013
Danger Slater's latest collection of three bizarro novellas is both wildly entertaining and intensely thoughtful.

My favorite of the bunch is "Knights of the White Castle." A mad scientist, recently fired from his job as a middle school science teacher, is taking a little breather from all that mad science to chow down some square burgers. But his detour ends up being apocalyptic when a gap is ripped in the space-time continuum (or something). I think Danger uses this as a vehicle to drop his characters into as much weird stuff as he can think of--including having Abraham Lincoln get to third base with Hitler and, of course, a defecating sky.

Each of these novellas involves a surreal journey in which the characters are forced to ponder the big questions in life: Is saving humans worth sacrificing humanity? Are we making concious decisions or just following a track that someone else has set for us? If my hand becomes detached from my body and becomes personish, is sex with it/him still masturbation, gay, or something else?

Yeah, I could read this stuff all day.
Profile Image for Melanie Catchpole.
108 reviews10 followers
September 12, 2013
3 pretty great stories, one book. Fantastic!
I did favour the first two more than the last, only because it made me think more. And I try to avoid thinking as nothing good comes from that.

Knights of the white castle, I thought was pretty funny and weird, a good combo. Arse's in the sky shitting on everything, rapping dinosaurs, Old Macdonald and 'dicks dicks dick dick dicks'. This story has everything.

Somnambulant, I thought this story was pretty clever. The Will Smith stuff was funny and liked how they connected towards the end.

Me&Me...Like I said it tried to make me think about life too much. It was still a good story. I am surprised he didn't 'clone' his penis at somepoint though... I mean that's one of the first things i'd have tried... wouldn't you? ... hmm just me?
Profile Image for Frank.
Author 36 books130 followers
August 14, 2013
DangerRAMA is more then just a book. DangerRAMA is a way of life, a point of view, a religious belief, a sales pitch, a history lesson, a diatribe on philosophy and it's your mother's silky pink drawers you never knew she owned. Most importantly it is three tight novellas under one roof.

The first story, KNIGHTS OF THE WHITE CASTLE, is a coming of age story masked as a psychotic fantasy time travel thriller. There is a life lesson to be learned here, all you need to do is take the journey from a mundane White Castle restaurant (that serves lettuce on their burgers, don't that beat all) to a world torn asunder in which knights and dinosaurs and homoerotic Hitlers and Abe Lincolns get along famously. And that's just the first story.

THE SOMNAMBULANT, in this review's opinion, is the true gem of this collection and perhaps the best story of any length I've read this year. This is the story of a simple man suffering from a sleep walking disorder who constantly comes to and finds himself in the most unusual predicaments. He wakes up mid fall skydiving, he wakes up in the middle of Will Smith's misguided new theatrical red carpet premier, he wakes up to find himself on an uncharted island where he is worshiped by the locals who have a gigantic statues of his likeness. And that only scratches the surface of the fun and fantastic adventure he goes through. To discuss any further would ruin this amazing story.

The collection is rounded out by the very thought provoking sci-fi oddessy, ME&ME&ME&ME&ME&ME&ME&ME (that's eight me's right?) This is 2001 A Space Oddessy on acid. A man on a deep space mission all by his lonesome loses contact with Earth and thus humanity. He is forced to face only himself for the rest of his existence. But does he have to go it alone really? All I can say is that he discovers a unique way to finger bang out there light years away from anyone.

All I can do is hope to entice you into shelling out a few measly bucks to shell out for what maybe the best book of the year and certainly a great book nonetheless. Author Danger Slater has pure storytelling talent. Do yourself a favor and introduce yourself to him right away. Thank me when it's over!

Danger Slater was interviewed about this book on Books, Beer and Bullshit Podcast. To hear more about this book and this talented writer listen to the podcast at: http://booksbeerbullshit.podbean.com/...
Profile Image for John McNee.
Author 32 books95 followers
October 9, 2013
Writing is hard. Writing funny, I think, is especially hard. Take a wander over to the ‘Comedy’ shelf of your nearest soulless chain bookstore and you’ll see what I mean. There are a lot of “funny” books out there. And almost none of them will make you laugh.

‘DangerRAMA’ (and I’m pretty confident about this) will make you laugh. It made me laugh. A lot. A triple-bill of bizarro novellas, what you get here are strange tales that get straight to the action, don’t outstay their welcome and leave you feeling hugely satisfied.

First out the gate is ‘Knights of White Castle’, where the entire universe is experiencing an apocalypse as all its infinite possibilities collide, and the only man who can save it is out to lunch. This is not the first story I’ve read by Danger Slater, but I think it makes a fine introduction to his world.

Next up is ‘Somnambulant’, wherein things get a little more complicated. The central concept - of a man more alert, competent and dangerous when he’s asleep - is an ingeniuos one that in Slater’s hands becomes a satirical Quantum Leap-style adventure, lurching back and forth across a complex narrative timeline littered with coincidence, absurdity, some genuinely horrifying childhood trauma and Will Smith. Probably my favourite of the three.

So following the scatalogical farce of the first tale and the more precise narrative dexterity of the second it’s time to ask some BIG QUESTIONS and make some BIG STATEMENTS in ‘ME&ME&ME&ME&ME&ME&ME&ME’, wherein the loneliest man in the universe finally learns to love himself. This is perhaps the most ambitious entry in the book, as despite being the most straight-forward, it might also be the one asking the most out of the reader and the most likely to lose them. To get the most from the philosophical themes and a conclusion at once both uplifting and deeply troubling, you really have to invest in the central love story. And a lot of folk won’t be able to do that. I understand. It made me queasy. But if you can go with it, you might be surprised by how affecting you find the final pages.

All in all then, DangerRAMA has everything promised in the blurb. More importantly, it is the product of a writer with a fiendish mind and a big ole heart, who isn’t afraid to use either.
Profile Image for a_reader.
465 reviews2 followers
September 10, 2013
I have to admit I was a tad reluctant when I discovered that Danger’s new book has a science fiction theme. I’m not too crazy about science fiction at all. But this is Danger Slater. He’s not going to get all boring with physics algorithms and such things, right? I mean, this is the same guy that wrote Love Me which was hilarious and divine.

I can now attest that my preconceptions were trivial at best. This is another solid contribution by Danger Slater. DangerRAMA includes three novellas that are diverse but work together as a whole. My favorite novella was "Knights of the White Castle” which included my favorite passage-

The shit and piss is raining down from the oatmeal-colored clouds. I look closer and see the clouds are actually gigantic floating asses lined up cheek to cheek, excreting their watery waste upon us. I puke. It disappears before it hits the ground, then reappears dripping out of one of the assholes overhead, ultimately landing on the back of my head. I stifle the urge to vomit again.

Gah, how is that for imagery!

One unexpected benefit of reading Danger’s works is the constant tutorial of the English language. Words such as halcyon, ennui, flummery and sentient sent me reaching for my dictionary on many occasions. Who knew I could actually LEARN stuff and expand my vocabulary by reading Bizarro?
Profile Image for Michael.
Author 54 books67 followers
July 13, 2013
I got this free in exchange for a review and I have to be honest and say that you need to stop reading this and go to wherever it is you buy books and pick this up. Right now. Go.

So you want to be convinced that you should buy it right? Anytime I review a book like this I go by the entire volume. In this case we have three novellas that could be seperated and sold by themselves but why would anyone be nuts enough to do that? How well does it flow? Are there any clunkers?

The answers here are these are three novellas that blend together. Danger Slater is a talented writer so placing these together was about ego. It was to prove that he could not only release a collection like this but it would be kick ass and piss you off that it ended so soon.

These novellas feature rapping T-rexes, mutant terrorists and above all they are awesome. I would love to go into all three but I could go on all day about what makes these so damn enjoyable. Point is if you like bizarro stop reading this and buy it already. Danger Slater has balls. He put out a book of three novellas so that in my opinion takes balls but he also has the talent to make it work. DangerRama is a great collection that you need to buy. Right now. Jesus go away already
Author 52 books151 followers
June 8, 2015
The Ultimate In Sci-Fi Bizarro

Me & Me & Me & Me & Me & Me & Me & Me, the final novella in this trio of novellas, is one of the best examples of science fiction bizarro. Space travel. Time travel. Regeneration. A love affair between a man and his sentient, rotting severed finger. A battle between a man and his own brain. Despite the fact that there is a lot of insane stuff going on in these pages, this story has heart. Ultimately, it's a tale of a man who has been forced into a lonely existence and how he manages to find love in the most desperate of situations. It's brilliant. The other novellas in the collection are solid as well. A must-have collection.
Profile Image for Lisa LeStrange.
8 reviews21 followers
May 10, 2014
Through an unforeseen twist of fate, life placed me in the vicinity of the Roster Republic Publishing crew last week...And by the way, I'm still wiping unidentified liquids from the walls. As much as I recommend adding time with these people to your own personal to do list, I recommend reading this book even more. I ended up on one of "those flights where you never get to take your seatbelt off" and without this book I most surely would have died. I do not exaggerate when I say this book made me laugh out loud, feel those things known as emotions, have a lady boner and stare of into space contemplating....life? Maybe I'm a little bit biased, Danger Slater being to the coolest person alive and all but I feel that you too may die a sad and pointless death if you don't go out and buy this book right now. Do it.
Profile Image for Vanessa Wolf.
Author 22 books2 followers
October 16, 2013
Disclaimer: I didn't purchase this book, I won it in a Goodreads giveaway, then purchased it again because I didn't want my nice signed edition of a book I liked getting all banged up because I drag my books all over creation. I also won a bitchin' picture blue whale in modest repose lovingly rendered by Mr. Slater

That being disclaimed I must admit April Guadiana is a better artist, objectively speaking. This is a book you can judge by its cover, as it captures exactly the events of the stories within, though not in the order they appear.

"Knights of the White Castle," is an excellent introduction to what you'll need to expect. There is of course, the thoughtful execution of prose that will lead you to read passages aloud to random strangers, as to better their minds. It also introduces the theme of a character against impossible, or at the very least improbable odds, for the good of all, couched in the awkward and smelly cushions of self-discovery.

"Somnambulant," one who suffers from sleepwalking, Dylan suffers from a far more terrible condition. That of Dickension odds of coincidences and magnificent manhood. Truly the satisfaction of finishing the tale is worth the immediate personal sexual dissatisfaction in one's self.

"Me & Me Me & Me Me & Me Me & Me," is at once a more touching love story than "Somewhere in Time," and, while starting with a well known Sarte quote, is a Nietzsche-ian exploration of space. Abner Almond's adventure for the good of mankind is a journey of self-discovery with far reaching consequences.

I recommend this of course to fans of bizzaro fiction, but especially if you're just curious about the genre, or if you're a sentient being with functioning eyeballs, or if your mind can receive media via transmission. Basically because its awesome and that should be enough.

Profile Image for Jessica.
122 reviews67 followers
October 19, 2013
I haven’t read any bizarro in a while so when Danger offered I wasn’t going to pass the offer up to review. What a nice sweet trio of freakish braingina juice smeared onto a page I’ve read in some time. I haven’t gone down bizarro road in about a year so when I started reading the first of three stories I just sat there shaking my head omg did he really write that, it’s so wrong I thought while giggling to myself in manic glee.

Book one about a high school teacher who’s invention goes um screwy and well white castle goes stone age or fantastically freaky or straight up crazy. Whatever your view it will make you scratch your head and chortle along to the freaky fun.

Book two about a guy who “sleepwalks” and doesn’t recall a thing he does while sleepwalking is just wow. In this awesome world he ends up worshipped, is Will Smiths love interest, steals world famous art works, becomes a terrorist and dismembers family.
Seriously entertaining but to not give more spoilers than I have well you’ve just gotta read it.

Last but not least is a book that just made me go omg you just had sex with your own finger dude yes you are alone in space and you reanimated it into a life size being of sorts but still wtf and then it became touching in a weird bizarro way. I suspect Danger is one of those mushy touchy feely guys. Plus he uses big words in it so yeah go Danger. It’s really quite well done with a world that is getting to the point of not being habitable so you test tube genius baby that we raised to go into space to save us all well good luck out there alone for ages till you find the promised land.

Great job done by Danger on these stories and sucking me in to his mad, mad world. I enjoyed myself immensly and look forward to more Danger by Danger.
Profile Image for Eirik Gumeny.
Author 33 books46 followers
April 30, 2014
The most dangerous book that Danger ever danger-ed to danger.

I had more than that but I've got some shit going on and I couldn't find my notes. Yes, notes. The existential ponderings and searches for self in DangerRAMA were so God damned deep that I was writing shit down like this was some kind of college literature assignment. Also, a dude fucks his finger-clone in space and who doesn't love that? No one, that's who.

Anyway, as a fan and former editor of Danger's I feel confident saying he's stepped up his game with the three novellas contained herein. And I've only said that, like, twice before, for his short stories "A Robot's Sonnet" and "Red Hot Panda Love." This time, though... This time I felt things. Pants things. Whether that was because "Me & Me & Me & Me & Me" is so well-crafted and perfectly circuitous or because of the aforementioned man-on-finger action we may never know.
Profile Image for Teresa.
209 reviews13 followers
March 3, 2014
I absolutely, positively LOVED this 'collection' of 3 novellas. However, I'm leaving for work in a few (soooo not looking forward to driving in this blizzard style snow we got!), so I'll get a review up ASAP. Yeah, yeah...I KNOW I'm a couple reviews behind. So sue me! I'm nerve-wracked as shit lately;I've been bombarded by a shit ton of unforeseen, unfortunate events! BLAH!

OKAY>>>UPDATED: March 3rd, 2014:

*****KNIGHTS OF THE WHITECASTLE:*****

Rating: 5 stars

I was really surprised over the rap battle! I don't know why, but I just wouldn't have thought Danger coulda spit rhymes like that! LOL...also, it reminded me of the 'hip-hop-o-potamus' and the 'rhyme-a-nocerous.'

All said, though, I REALLY liked "Knights of the White Castle.' I thought the storyline was original, unique, not forced, and not over the top (which is way too prevalent in bizarro literature). My favorite part, I think, was when our rag tag bunch of heroes reaches Doctor Drcaon's house and find his refrigerator box 'Time Musheen' hooked up to a Texas Instruments calculator (talk about BAD memories from HS thinking of that calculator lol).

Another favorite part is King Jonas and Queen Sally handing over 47 Hamburgers (NOW meaning people from Hamburg, with a side of French 'Guys.') Too funny & perfect. And of course Doctor Dragon WOULD still be searching for a way to fix the time/space continuum.

The whole damn story just had me cracking up. Its well written; it doesn't get boring; its not forced and contrite...in short, its pretty perfect for a 43 page bizarro story. I rate this story 5 stars: BRAVO, BRAVO!!!

*****SOMNAMBULANT*****

Rating: 5 stars

Jeez Louise with a side of Swiss Cheese!!! This story was TOO good!!! I can see why you were reading it to your wife! Good lord, I was cracking up the whole damn time! I think I am falling in love with Danger_Slater here! This IS the first thing I've read by him, and I'm really impressed with the depth of the stories. Yeah, they may be goofy as hell, and totally ridiculous at times, but there is some REAL depth behind the nonsense. And what better way to get literary depth than crawl through 3 headed terrorists, Norwegian art thieves, and Will Smith's cock hands to get it? There isn't a better way, damnit!!!

Hell, I loved the way the story was written as is, but I flipped back and skimmed through it again in 'chronological' order and it was just as fun that way. I have like a jillion things underlined, highlighted, post-it noted, scibbled around, and, in general, have defaced the SHIT out of this book. It was a gut-wrenching decision to actually write in it, too, cause it IS signed and I really didn't wanna fuck up a pristine copy of a signed book. But seeing as how it WAS made out to 'Teresa-Teresa-Bo-Besa' (yes, WITH the banana-fana-mo-mesa part as well), I knew I'd NEVER part with it, so in the end, my margin scrawling habits won out. And margin scrawl I did. A LOT. I just couldn't help it! There was soooo much funny stuff going on! I mean, Kimsama Bin-Jungsein? How could I NOT highlight that and write 'Tee-hee' in the margin? I couldn't!!!

But at the crux, I milked out some serious social commentary. On page 84, where the 3 headed Bin Laden is taking about "You Americans and you media...you wouldn't know the truth if it were a three-headed Superterrorist about to torture you..." and the following passage is too true. And sad. But still true. The last paragraph on page 89 that runs through most of page 90 was, in my honest opinion, like...well...a goddamned rhetorical question like no other! It made me ponder my own self worth, for Christ's sake! "I ask you good people of the NJ Transit, how is complacency any different than sleepwalking?" And so, how is it? We've heard the American populace referred to a zombies a jillion times, but I personally had never equated the mindless drones I live around, work around, etc with mindless sleepwalkers, just ambling through life. But that's what most of us are!!! (Not me, of course, but most of you probably are. ;-) Whoa, now....take a fuggin joke!) Anyhow, the last passage I found especially poignant was on page 97 when Dylan explains to his 'lady-friend' why she was wrong about never touching anything, truly. "You were wrong because, if you keep grasping, keep fighting, keep pushing hard enough against the grain, then one day you're bound to connect with something." Now that's pretty goddamned poetic, now isn't it?

So, I guess in short, this is my favorite so far...they are getting better. If 'Me & Me & Me...ad infinitum' is better, well...I just don't know what I'll do. If you never see or hear from me again, my brain has exploded from the combined greatness of DangerRAMA and Grudge Punk being read at the same time. This idea may not have been good for the space time continuum (or my brain...its overstimulated in SUCH a good way)...


DISCLAIMER: These 'mini-reviews; were pulled off a buddy read thread I did on this book. THAT'S why there are 'lols' and 'No wonder you're reading it to your wife!' And I STILL need to write up something for Me&Me&Me&Me&Me&Me&Me&ME&Me...be patient, grasshopper!

Profile Image for John Bruni.
Author 73 books85 followers
July 31, 2015
This book is amazing, and I don't just say that because Danger_Slater is my friend and my running mate for the 2016 US Presidential election. No, it's because Danger knows how to hit that sweet spot where hilarity meets the horrifying meets the genuinely touching and moving emotions that make up the human experience. This is a collection of three novellas, and it is impossible for me to figure out which one I liked the most.

The first is "Knights of the White Castle," which is a tale of time travel gone horribly awry. Yet . . . that doesn't do this story justice. At first it's about a middle school science teacher with an out of control ego trying to create a time machine. However, while eating 47 White Castle cheeseburgers, he runs into an old student of his. And a knight from the past. And . . . just read this lunacy for yourself.

Next up is "Somnambulant," and if there is justice in this world, someone will make a series of YouTube shorts out of this novella, one for each segment. The protagonist is a sleepwalker (hence the title) who wakes up in increasingly crazier situations. For example, when we first meet him he wakes up to discover that he was in the middle of a suicide bombing. These segments all seem randomly crazy, but it's amazing how they all come together in the end. It all makes perfect sense. (PS: I desperately hope that whoever does the YouTube shorts can afford Will Smith.)

Last up is "Me & Me & Me & Me & Me & Me & Me & Me." This is possibly the strangest SF romance I've ever read. A virgin astronaut finds himself hurtling away from his planet, and his communications aren't working. He accidentally cuts off one of his fingers, and . . . I just can't describe what happens. Self love? Self destruction? The wheel of ka? It's what INTERSTELLAR should have been.

I cannot possibly recommend this book enough. If I told every person I saw every day about this book for the rest of my life, it still wouldn't be enough.
Profile Image for Jeff O'Brien.
Author 142 books181 followers
September 14, 2014
2/3's of review.

In a small press world that is full of subgenres and subsubgenres, I'm often left craving a sub. Maybe eggplant parmesan. But, I digress. Take Danger Slater. Peel away the labels and genre titles that one may apply to his work, and maybe some of his clothing too, and you have a possibly naked man who also happens to be one of the finest contemporary comedy writers I've stumbled upon in recent years. That's right. COMEDY. Forget the crazy antics and out-of-this-world screwball bizarreness (not a word, I know) that so heavily take up the pages and create many said genre titles. This shit is hilarious! Few books have ever made me literally laugh out loud. I was seldom silent during the reading of DangerRama.

Knights of the White Castle.
The opening story of the compilation was my favorite. Reminded me quite a bit of Eric Flint's Ring of Fire series, except better. A joyous little time travel fiasco, complete with Knights, sliders, horrid mutations and non-stop laughs.

Somnambulant.
Dylan just wants to get some sleep in his own bed. But he keeps waking up in the most odd of places. And it doesn't stop there, either. He's also finding himself in the most awkward of predicaments, such as being the gay love obsession of a certain Hollywood actor and the key player in an art heist, and facing a three-headed tyrant/terrorist monster.

I think Slater was really saying something with this story. Perhaps that for some, every day is a new adventure with endless possibilities. But for others, those endless possibilities involve getting jacked off on by famous actors and being worshipped by tons of naked chicks.

When I started writing this review I said that Knights of the White Castle was my favorite story in the book. Now I think it's this one. Shit. I can't make up my mind.

Me, Me, Me.........
Review forthcoming.
Profile Image for Jeannie Walker.
Author 12 books567 followers
December 10, 2013
This author definitely writes work that is different from most. Danger Slater calls his stories twisted. I think they are strange, unusual and a little on the outrageous side. "Danger RAMA" is a collection of three novellas. Each short story is different in it's own way. If you like stories about time travel then I think you will like the first one.
If you know about trying to get a good night's sleep, then you will like Somnambulant.
I really liked the last one about the computer malfunction.
If you like reading science fiction that is a lot like the outer limits, then I believe you will like DangerRAMA. I particularly liked the fact that it was well written and there were no editing changes that needed to be made.
This collection of novellas is not for the timid and it has some strong language in it. Take a ride on the dark edge of a distant horizon and expect the unexpected.

Jeannie Walker (Award Winning Author)
Fighting the Devil: A True Story of Consuming Passion, Deadly Poison, and Murder
I Saw the Light
Thomas, The Friendly Ghost
The Rain Snake: A True Story of Love, Faith and Trust

Profile Image for Mykle.
Author 14 books299 followers
October 12, 2015
Totally fun bizarro adventures! I look at this as "early writing," like a lot of POD books on small indy presses by young authors. Such books often constitute a war between the excitement of new young voices and the annoyance of beginner-writer mistakes compounded upon one another. And frankly, I'm quick to give up after too much of the latter. But I have to hand it to Danger: these stories never drag, never linger. He has a great talent for keeping a silly, ridiculous concept hurtling forward so fast you have time to laugh at the good bits but not enough time to be a grumpy, disbelieving critic. WIth that in his pocket, he'll go far.

Danger's also got a knack for complicated plot construction, and two of the three novellas in this book -- the time-travel one and the noir-amnesia one -- make great use of that. The third story is more of a classic, straightforward man-meets-self, man-loses-self, man-clones-parts-of-self piece, a plain old love/coming-of-age/destruction-of-entire-universe story ... like I said: bizarro adventures!
77 reviews5 followers
January 8, 2019
I’m not superstitious, but I am really happy that the first book of the year not only didn’t suck at all, and wound up blowing me away. This book has everything you need, and a lot of stuff you don’t, but wind up enjoying anyway. The best part? This is actually three books in one, so you are getting hit over the head three times with side splitting, thought provoking stories of knights and sleepwalkers and time travel and gay Will Smith and far more (sex with your amputated finger in space? It’s not what you think!).

This is the second book by the author I’ve read (He Digs A Hole, being the other), and it’s hands down my favorite. I got it on Kindle Unlimited but enjoyed it so much I plan on getting a physical copy soon.
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